Professor Muggle and the Lost Witch
by MuggleBeene
Summary: On his honeymoon Professor Muggle visits New Orleans, and things seem fine. After returning to the UK, things change; Muggle Studies professors are missing. Aurors, Draco Malfoy and Hank's friends help out; can Hank teach, stay married and find them?
1. The Sorcière Perdue

Chapter 1: The Sorcière Perdue

August 2006

The night was hot as hell, humid too, but I really didn't care. After two years in England and Scotland I was back in America, standing outside a bar on Bourbon Street, mostly inebriated, and it had been a damn good day. Ok, I was leaning on the wall because I was positive I couldn't stay upright without some assistance. Sure, for most of the day my shirt looked like I could take it off and wring it out, a slightly scary woman tried to get me to have my palm read and had a hard time believing I wasn't interested and Melody had almost thrown up when she tried fried alligator, but it had been a damned good day. We'd stopped by the Laveau School, the New Orleans version of Hogwarts, and spoken with their headmaster about my Muggle Studies text. Ok, they didn't call her headmaster or headmistress like at Hogwarts, but it was the same thing. Since I'd had that fourth or twenty-eighth Hurricane the words didn't really come easily, as they'd told me what her title was, but I really wasn't remembering it at the moment. Shit, I couldn't even remember her name. Whatever her title was she was really excited about my Muggle Studies textbook so I was batting a thousand for the day. Tomorrow was the book signing for _My Wand is Useless_, my book about living as a mostly-Muggle in the Wizarding world, and initial American sales had been good, so why not have a few too many? I was waiting for Melody to come out of the loo, wondering if I could get away with bumming a cigarette off the nearby kid with the dreadlocks when a very young and very slightly dressed woman walked by with some other people, stopped, and then turned back to look at me. She waved at her friends to go on ahead and then walked over to me, stopping very closely, in what would definitely be an imposition of personal space regardless of country or culture.

"I never thought I'd see you here, of all places."

Her accent was thick with the "Southern Honey" as my Gran used to say. I'd never seen this woman, girl actually, in my life. I had no idea who she was, so I went along with it. "Yeah. Me neither."

She laughed and shook her head. "I loved your book. My mama bought it for me for Christmas. Those British kids really pulled some good ones on ya."

It suddenly dawned on me, even through the haze, that the girl wasn't a Muggle. "Oh thank God, I thought…"

The girl laughed, and put her hand on my shoulder. "Oh don't worry, I won't say anything…"

"Say anything about what?" Melody looked at the girl, then me, and then back at the girl.

The girl shook her head. "It ain't like that. I expect I'll see you two tomorrow, at the signing. And for the record, I don't think it's useless." As I wobbled unsteadily the girl looked over to Melody. "Well, it might be tonight. Y'all have a good night."

As the girl walked down the street I took off my glasses, and after seeing Melody's face I couldn't do anything but laugh. "You thought…" I laughed some more, and Melody wasn't pleased. "Come on, Mel, let's go back to the hotel. I need one of your…"

Melody put her hand over my mouth. When I'd stopped trying to speak she took my arm and started walking towards the hotel. I felt pretty good about her guiding me until she almost walked into a wrought-iron fence, and eventually we poured ourselves into the hotel room. I think I drank a hangover potion that night, I'm still not sure.

The next morning, when the sun was streaming in way too many colors of bright through the window I definitely needed a hangover potion, and I was only starting to feel the effects when Melody stumbled out of bed, walked to the table and downed two of the potions. I sat at the small table in my boxer shorts and opened the window to try and let some air into the room. The fact that we were staying in an old hotel that didn't have air conditioning wasn't bad in the mornings, but in the afternoon it was like a sauna.

"Come on, Mel. Let's take a shower and go get some breakfast. I need some more of that coffee."

She flipped her bangs over her head, and with one eye shut she looked at me and managed to roll the only open eye. "Merlin's pants, Hank. Do I have to go today? I did the last signing with you." She sat on the bed and put her hand to her face, feeling it like she had to make sure she still had skin or something.

"That was four, um, five days ago in Maine. Besides, your publisher said it was good for _Witch Weekly_. Raises American awareness or something. Come on. Let's get in the shower, I'm hungry."

Something between a groan and a moan escaped Melody's lips. "All right, then. You go first."

"The hell with first. Come on." I raised my eyebrows at her and she threw a pillow at me. "Hey, we're on our honeymoon. You have the rest of your life to have a headache."

"You are horrible. Won't work, anyway. The shower in there is so small my arse wouldn't fit in there along with your gut. And remind me again why we're staying in this wonderful establishment?"

"Ian, remember?"

Ian Coswock, my book agent, had booked the hotels for the big three stopovers on the honeymoon book tour/school visit, and he'd picked a doozy. The Vanishing Spectre was an old wizarding hotel in a part of the French Quarter that didn't exist on a map. In fact, if you didn't know the exact way to get there you would never find it, as you had to stand at a certain point in the Quarter facing a certain direction and say a certain phrase before the entrance would appear. How that all worked I had no idea, but then again I'm Professor Muggle, Muggle Studies professor at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in Britain, so how wizarding New Orleans works is beyond me. Hell, I didn't even know I was mostly a Muggle until I was in the UK, and even then I'm only 1.3% wizard. Not like I'm going to understand the dimensional temporal whatsiwhoozits and charm boundaries and whatever theoretical time and space compression spell witches and wizards do to make it happen, I just know that it happens.

Melody fell back on the bed and put an arm across her eyes. "There has to be a better agent."

I went over and picked up one of her feet and began to ever so slowly pull her off of the bed. "We could get beignets…"

She gently kicked her foot out of my hand. "All right, then. Just leave me alone for another ten minutes."

After we'd had our chicory coffee and beignets Melody and I sat at the table reading our newspapers, definitely the picture of madly in love newlyweds. I read the local Muggle newspaper while Melody read the local wizarding newspaper, making sure to hide the moving pictures when our waitress came by to refill our coffee. I was amazed at the amount of devastation that still remained in the wake of Hurricane Katrina; the French Quarter was slowly getting back on its feet, and it was the same in the magical community as well. Slow progress with a determination to stay in New Orleans. I felt honored as I was to be the first author to hold a book signing in the magical bookstore, and I had sent word to Ian that I wanted the money that the store had sent over to have me in their shop to be donated to the relief efforts.

Melody folded her newspaper and sat her coffee cup on top of it. "What's the schedule for today?"

"Bookstore at one, then we have the very late check out at the hotel at four, dinner somewhere and then we hit the road and head north. I don't expect we'll make it that far tonight, maybe just to Tennessee or Missouri. It'll take us a day or two to make it to Minnesota. We're not due there until Friday anyway, so we don't have to push very hard."

"Why did I agree to this? Tell me again?" She put her elbows on the table and sat her chin in her hands. "I hate that car. Takes too long to get anywhere, you never put the top up so my hair is always a mess and it's so bloody loud."

"It's a road trip, Mel. Think of how much of the country you've seen already, and that's just been the first part of the trip. I know it doesn't…it's a classic Jaguar convertible. Have you seen how people react when they see it? How many times have people come over and talked to us when I get gas? Tons. It's a thing of beauty."

"You sound like the Harpies talking about their brooms, another thing I don't understand." She looked at her watch. "Let's go, I want to get this over with. The last one was sort of embarrassing."

I laughed at that, as she was right. The first book signing went well as I'd sold a lot of books and signed a lot of copies, but there was also a question and answer period that had been scheduled, and I hadn't been aware that was happening. I'd managed to answer the initial questions, which were fairly innocuous, but then one woman started asking about the wedding, and the stories she'd heard about me and a group of professional athletes. I did pretty well on that one, but then she followed my answer up with a question asking Melody if it was true that she had to duel another witch to be able to date me. Somehow or another it seemed that the crazy stories from _The Daily Prophet_ had made their way over to America, specifically the UMS or United Magical States, and then the tabloid questions started flowing. Luckily I was saved by my watch, as we had to make our next appointment. I didn't tell anyone that our next appointment was actually going back to the hotel room, turning on the TV and ordering room service, I just wanted to get out of there.

I looked over at her and she was thoroughly not excited. "I don't think it'll be like that. I'll tell whoever's running the show that I don't have time for Q&A, how's that?"

"Wonderful."

Luckily the signing went well, none of the Q&A session like before. When the young woman from Bourbon Street showed up with her mother I wrote "Thanks for getting me in trouble on my honeymoon" in a copy of _My Wand is Useless_ and handed it to her. She was surprised, as she already had the book and didn't bring one over to be signed, but I told her it was the least I could do as I'd be able to get a few free drinks off of the story. After that it was a quick trip back to the hotel, the normal rush of packing and we were off.

After convincing Melody that it's just not proper to take a classic Jaguar through the drive-through lane at a fast food restaurant we ended driving out of New Orleans and wound up at a local place. She wasn't too impressed with the building, but I saw enough pickup trucks and cars outside to guess that it was the place that the locals frequented, not the tourists. Luckily I was right, and after Melody had a bite of the fried Cajun boudin balls I didn't hear another word about the plastic red and white checkerboard tablecloth or the paper plates and roll of paper towels on the table. I had another order of fried alligator which made Melody turn a little pale, but other than that it was a great meal. I found out that the restaurant also had a grocery store attached to the building, and they sold seafood and sausage, so I got a card from the waitress. I figured I'd find someway to have Nate send all that good stuff over to me at Hogwarts.

I got in the car with a full stomach, happy, and ready to go. Melody, on the other hand just had a full stomach. I was starting to worry that my wonderful road trip idea was going to go down as a story I'd hear years from now, the one where she would tell some woman "Oh, do you know what he did for our honeymoon?" The tone wouldn't be the happy, excited it-was-a-wonderful-surprise tone, either, it would be akin to the one where you talk about how you had to do something horrible because your grandmother made you do it and was totally embarrassing.

After leaving the restaurant I pulled out the map of Louisiana from the car and stood under the lamppost. Somehow or another Nate had forgotten to give me the promised GPS navigator and I had to do things the old-fashioned way. It would take a while to get to the interstate, and I really didn't want to put the top up, so I decided the old back roads would take less time and be a lot more fun. Well, I thought they would be, as the road was somewhat curvy and I'd get to have fun driving. Melody was not impressed with Muggle car travel, especially all the stops and starts, so she sat in the passenger seat and put on my Braves hat.

"So, copilot, are you ready?" I sat down and looked at her. "You want to drive?"

"No." She shook her head. "I have no idea how you do all those things; I mean, you do one thing with your foot while you turn the wheel with one hand and hit little switches with the other and try not to run into things all at the same time. Oh, and you have to read signs while you do it. I would rather use a portkey any day. Or fly on a Muggle plane again. You just drive and I'll probably fall asleep soon anyway."

I turned the key and soon enough we were off, wind around us, Louisiana scenery slipping by in the darkness. We'd gone north for about an hour or so, I'm not sure, when I noticed that we were going to need gas soon. The first few very small towns we went through didn't have a gas station, or one that I could find off of the highway, so I kept going, my nerves straining; I had a bad feeling that we'd be stuck on the side of the road. Luckily I found a small gas station all by itself on the highway that was sort of well lit. When I pulled up to the pump I noticed a couple of cars and pickups in the back of the parking lot filled with teenagers. They were playing their music pretty loudly, and the combination of the music and the fact that the car had stopped woke up Mel.

"Where are we?"

"Still in Louisiana. I've got to get some gas."

I put in my credit card and got the pump working finally, as the pump looked like it came out of an old movie. When the tank was full I went to get my receipt, but it didn't print out. Not good, because I needed the receipts. Ian said something about keeping all the receipts for everything, how he'd use them for some complicated financial thing but I had ignored most of it as I was just interested in going on the honeymoon at that time. Well, I figured if I can't get the receipt at the pump I could get it inside, so I went in. The kid behind the counter couldn't have been less interested in helping me; instead he was busy texting someone on his mobile phone. After finally getting his attention he tried printing the receipt, but the printer jammed. This led to a search for the manual on how to clear the jam, and it seemed like forever had passed when he finally printed the receipt.

"What's taking so long?" Melody stood at my side holding two sodas. "This is the right kind, isn't it?"

"Yeah, that's it." She tapped me on the shoulder and I leaned in close.

She whispered "The loo was horrible."

I nodded, pulled out my wallet and paid for the sodas. As we walked out of the gas station something was wrong, very, very wrong.

"Mel, where's the car?"

"Merlin's pants! I just went in to use the loo, and…"

I didn't hear the rest of what she said. I looked around and, sure enough, the teenagers were all gone. _Fuck_. "Mel, you didn't take the keys out?"

"I didn't know I was supposed to. I told you I don't know how cars work, Hank."

I walked out towards the gas pumps and kept walking, right out into the middle of the highway. I don't know how long I was out there, but I had to clear my head. I took a look around the sky until I found the Big Dipper, and then yelled "FUCK" as loudly as possible. I started to walk back over to Mel when I heard it; the Jaguar was still here! I took off at a dead sprint towards the gas station, and then it came around the corner at speed, two people in the car, whooping as the gravel kicked up from the tires. As I watched it speed by me and down the road I had a sudden, horrible realization about its occupants. Well, at least one of them.

"Mel! Can you see if the door is locked?" I pointed to the gas station.

She ran over and tried the doors; sure enough they were locked. The fucking kid at the gas station counter locked up and went with his friend who stole my car. My Jaguar. My classic, 1950's beautiful cream Jaguar with the wire-spoked wheels.

"Hank?" Mel's voice was worried. "What do we do now? Can you use your thing to talk to Nate?"

"Could I call him? Sure. My brother and Lavender Brown could pop over and get us out of Nowheresville, Louisiana. One problem. My phone is in the car." I walked over to where a public telephone used to be, as the outline of the payphone and the mounting plates were still exposed on the side of the gas station. "And there's no payphone, either. We're fucked, Mel."

I sat down on the steps leading into the gas station and Mel joined me. She looked worried, and to be honest, I was too. Before I could say anything I saw headlights coming up the road. I started to head over to see if I could flag them down but I realized the headlights were moving way too fast for it to be safe to stand out in the highway. They were going to fast to see me, they'd be gone before they could even see us. _Fuck_.

The gravel and dust flew as the vehicle came to a stop at the gas station, and once the dust cleared I recognized what had stopped at an impossibly short distance based on the rate of speed. Somehow an ancient looking black and red school bus stood idling in front of us, and for a few seconds I had no idea what to do. I looked over to Mel and noticed she had her wand out, so I reached into my pocket and pulled mine out as well. The two of us stood there silently, wands somewhat raised until the door opened on the bus.

"Well don't just stand there, get in. Can't take you nowhere if you don't get in." The voice was masculine and sounded old. "And put your wands away, you don't need them."

_Wands? What the fuck?_ "Um, Mel…"

An elderly man with grey hair and a sharp grey suit and tie stepped out of the bus. "Y'all need a ride. Can't stay here, too many gators."

As soon as Mel heard the word "gators" she started walking towards the bus. I followed and when we got to the old man I looked him in the eye. "You must not be a Muggle 'cause you noticed the wands. What is this?'

He laughed. "Boy, this here's the Sorcière Perdue. We give rides to any witch or wizard that needs one, and I reckon y'all need one pretty bad."

Mel and I must have had identical confused expressions, because the man laughed. "Sorcière Perdue, lost witch. Come on, then. I can't be here all night. I'll drop you at the Bon Charme; Marie will take care of you."

I sat with Melody in the bus as the driver went through the country roads at a massive rate of speed. Mel was curled up in the corner, her feet up on the seat and her chin on her knees.

Melody's voice was very soft, and I could hear the hurt in her voice. "I'm sorry, Hank. I didn't know I had to take the keys."

I sighed. I couldn't be mad at her. "You didn't know, Mel. It's a Muggle thing, I just forgot you don't know about stuff like that. I don't know what we're going to do, though. All of our luggage, my phone, our schedule, everything was in the car." _The car, my beautiful Jaguar, now in the hands of two teenagers. Fuck._

"I know, but…now what do we do?" She crossed her arms and leaned back into the seat. "I don't even have anything to sleep in."

"Like that's bothered you lately." I smiled and was happy to see that I got the "why can't you behave" look.

Before she could actually say anything the bus stopped, and we both stood up. The driver opened the door and looked back at us. "Just ring the bell when you get in the lobby, Marie will take good care of you."

We thanked the driver and stepped out of the bus in front of a very large, white house with faded paint. The massive porch wrapped around the front of the house, and a second-story porch, typical to New Orleans plantation houses definitely caught my eye. I'd wanted to visit a house like this, with the giant plantation shutters and rocking chairs ever since I'd read about New Orleans years ago, and my wish was finally here. Unfortunately it wasn't a normal tourist visit, though, as it was the dead of night, my car was missing and we had no luggage. We walked up the steps and opened the screen door, which creaked on its hinges, and opened the large door.

The lobby of the Bon Charme looked as if it hadn't been changed since about 1800 but closer examination revealed that it was incredibly clean and well-kept. Large oriental rugs covered the ancient wood floors, and there were several portraits of people from pre-Revolutionary times sleeping in their frames. I looked at one painting and saw a dark-haired girl of about seventeen dressed in a white, lacy dress sleep in her rocking chair on a porch…and the porch looked exactly like the Bon Charme. Mel pulled me away, and we began walking through the large open foyer and quickly arrived at a small desk that said "Check In." Nobody was at the desk, and due to the late, or actually early hour I wasn't surprised. I tapped a small bell that stood on the desk and looked over to Melody as it didn't seem to make any sound whatsoever. She shrugged so I hit the bell again, and as before there was no sound.

"I'm coming, I'm coming, and you don't have to keep ringing the bell." An older woman's voice could be heard behind a door that was in back of the desk, and sure enough the door swung open right after that. She wore an old, multi-colored robe and her grey hair was piled up on the top of her head. After she sat down at the desk with a flick of her wand a pair of reading glasses moved from the desk and into her hand, and she put them on slowly. "I don't have any reservations, so y'all must have come in on the Sorcière Perdue."

"Yep, that's it. Someone stole my car." I took off my glasses, folded them up and put them in my shirt pocket. "We'll need a room tonight and then we'll need to get in touch with the sheriff or Aurors or whoever in the Ministry can get our stuff back."

"Car? Boy, if you came in on the Sorcière Perdue why are you driving a car? And Ministry? Where you from?"

"Virginia, sort of. I live in Scotland now. I'm barely a wizard, but my wife's a witch." I looked over to Melody. "That means you, you know."

"Oh!" Melody shook her head. "Sorry, still not used to that."

"Congratulations." The woman behind the desk smiled at us. "You must be newlyweds. I'm sorry you had to come to the Bon Charme because of your situation, but I'll give you the honeymoon suite. I'm Marie Chennault, and this is my hotel."

After we'd made the introductions, and I realized that Marie had never heard of my book or my story, my ego was appropriately deflated. So much for being a famous mostly-Muggle. We also found out that the Bon Charme was purposely out-of-touch with the majority of the wizarding world in America, or the United Magical States as I reminded myself, as the hotel was a prime location for those who wished to get away from it all. The Floo was only connected at ten in the morning and at two in the afternoon, check-in and check-out times, so there was nothing for us to do but wait.

We thanked Marie for her hospitality, especially in the situation and since she'd given us the honeymoon suite, and I was lucky enough to find that my secret little Galleon pouch that Neville had given me before we'd left the UK was still in my pocket. As I opened it up and paid for our room I was glad to know that I wasn't completely penniless. We graciously took the room key from Marie and headed up the stairs, eventually finding our room at the end of the hall. I opened the door and stood open-mouthed at the entrance, causing Melody to push me inside.

"Come on, Hank. I'm tired." She walked into the room and flung herself down on the large, canopied bed. After realizing that I was still in the doorway, she rolled over and looked at me while kicking off her shoes. "Why are you still standing there?"

"I feel like I've walked onto the set of Gone With the Wind, that's why."

Melody rolled off of the bed and pulled down the blankets. "I have no idea what you're talking about and I'm too tired and we've been through too much today for me to care. Now come to bed."

The next morning I woke up to an empty bed; the covers were thrown back, so I knew that Mel was up. So much for a little morning time. I sat up and reached over to the nightstand to find my glasses, and after putting them on I swung my legs out off of the high bed onto the hardwood floor.

"Mel? Where are you?"

"Out here."

I heard her voice come from an open set of French doors, so I put on my shorts and threw my shirt on and walked out. She was sitting on a chair on the porch, looking over the trees and water. I sat down in the chair next to her and looked at the little table between us. "Where'd the coffee come from?"

"House elf. As soon as I got dressed she appeared out here and brought me coffee." Mel picked up the carafe and poured me a cup. "We've got a few hours before we can use the Floo. Might as well enjoy it."

I took a sip of coffee. _How the hell was I supposed to enjoy waiting to tell someone that my car was missing? I was sure it was wrapped around a telephone pole._ "Enjoy it…normally I would, but…"

"Your precious car, I know. Don't worry; they won't get in the trunk. I put a locking spell on it."

I squinted in the sunlight. "When'd you do that?"

"When we left New Orleans. I've been doing it ever since we started." She looked over to me as if it was one of the most basic things in the world. "Honestly, Hank. Your Muggle locks wouldn't keep anyone out of there."

Once we had finished breakfast the rest of the morning was an exercise in trying to relax, as Mel was calm, just as if she was waiting for a program to come on the wireless, but I was a nervous wreck. I couldn't sit still for more than a few minutes at a time and when I did sit down my leg would bounce until Melody would smack me on the arm, my signal to get up and walk around for a while. It was during one of my little walks that I ended up in front of the painting in the lobby, the one with the dark-headed girl. In the daylight I could examine it closely, and even though the girl was missing from the portrait I took my time looking at the surroundings. I was sure that the setting was the front porch of the Bon Charme. But when I saw the small plate that held the name of the portrait's occupant, that's when I lost my breath for a second. _It couldn't be, could it?_ When I heard Marie talk to someone from the vicinity of the Check-In desk I went over to find out.

After the house elf left I couldn't wait. "Marie, what do you know about the portrait in the lobby, the one with the girl in the white lace dress? I saw the name, and I think I might know some people that are related to her."

"I hope you don't, as she was the only good one in the whole family. My great-great grandmother got the Bon Charme from her, as Charlotte never had any children of her own."

"Well, I think I do, but they spell it differently. The ones I know spell Malfoy with a y, but its spelled Malfoi with an i…"

Marie took out a handkerchief and spit into it. "Don't say that name, boy. We don't say it here; if you want to refer to Charlotte call her Aunt Charlotte, that's what everyone does. Bad family, that was a bad, bad family."

_Holy shit, were the Malfoys all horrible except for Draco?_ "What'd they do?"

"Worked this plantation with Muggle slaves. Didn't matter what color; white, black, Creole, all Muggles were the same. When the good wizarding folk found out they ran them all off except for Aunt Charlotte. She took care of the Muggles, helped heal them after they'd been whipped or cursed. She was an odd woman, from all accounts. One day when my great-great grandmother Daphne was just out of Laveau Aunt Charlotte called her in to the office. My great-great grandmother worked for her here in the Bon Charme. Story has it that there was a dark look on Aunt Charlotte's face, and when another wizard came into the office she brought out parchment and signed over the Bon Charme to Daphne. She never said why she did it, and two days later Aunt Charlotte was never seen again. The other members of that family came back, saying that it was their family house, it wasn't legal, but it was legal. They didn't take it well and went into the nearest Muggle village and took it out on all those poor Muggles. Only a few of them were left alive, and those that were still there would've been better off dead, they way they was left."

_Good grief, Draco was the only decent one_. "I know a…one of the family in England, and he started down that path, but he seems to have turned his life around."

Marie shrugged. "Must of inherited some of Aunt Charlotte, somehow. I'm sorry, I know you didn't want to hear that old story. I suppose you're waiting for the Floo?"

"Yeah. Definitely." I ran my hand through my hair. "We've got to get our car back. We're supposed to be in Minnesota at the end of the week, and then it's the long drive to Oregon."

She shook her head at me. "Why are you driving a Muggle car if you're staying here? Ain't no Muggles ever stayed here before."

I sat down in the chair next to the desk. "It's a long story. I'm barely a wizard, and you can tell from the accent my wife's British. I didn't know I had any magical blood until I went over to Britain. I teach Muggle Studies at a school over there, and I've written a book and a textbook, so I'm going to the magical schools to try and get them to adopt my textbook and bookstores too. I thought it would be fun to show my wife America by driving, like the road trips I went on as a kid. Just didn't expect to get my car stolen."

"Hum. So you were in New Orleans to stop by Laveau, then?"

_Crap, what was her name?_ Oh yeah. "Yep. Spoke to the, um, head of the school, Madame Cormier." _At least I remembered her name this time._

Marie smiled and me and put her reading glasses on the desk. "Franny is a friend of the family, her grandmother and I went to Laveau together. I think you should Floo her when it turns on, she'll know how to help."

When the Floo finally switched on Melody contacted Franny Cormier, and I explained the situation. I told her that my brother was dating a witch, Lavender Brown, who was working with the American Auror Bureau in Washington, DC. Franny took the information about my car and said not to worry, that she would contact Lavender. I thanked her for all of the help and soon her face disappeared from the green flames.

Luckily things didn't take long, as soon a house elf found us on the porch and told us that we had a Floo call. Melody and I knelt down next to the fireplace as Lavender's head appeared in the flames.

"You really did it this time, didn't you?"

"Thanks, Lavender. Yeah, I guess so. Did Madame Cormier tell you that my car…"

"We already have that. There's a trace charm on it, we got that back last night. It's back in New Orleans, mostly."

"Mostly?" _Oh shit._ "What the hell happened? Is all of our stuff safe? And how did you know?"

Lavender shook her head. "After everything that's happened do you really think we'd just let you and Melody drive around in that car without precautions? We had some spells on the car, plus the Sorcière Perdue reports on every witch or wizard that rides. We catch some real idiots that way. There's an alert placed on your name, so when it popped up on the logs we knew something was up. I was getting ready to Floo the Bon Charme when you contacted me. Oh, and most of your car is in one piece. One of the wheel thingies came off."

_Wheel thingies? Holy hell._ "What about our stuff?"

"Melody's spell is pretty good, we can't get in, so it should be fine. Just stay put, we'll have someone out to pick you up in about an hour or so."

When we arrived back at The Vanishing Spectre later that day with the AAB agent I knew that my dream of the wonderful road trip was dead, along with the Jaguar. Apparently the two idiots had somehow managed to tear off the whole freaking driver's side front wheel along with most of the front end, so it was going to be shipped back to DC and my brother. There was a letter waiting for me from Ian, and somehow he'd been contacted as well because there were instructions on portkeys for the rest of the trip. Melody was happy, as we wouldn't be in the Jaguar anymore. At least if I couldn't drive the car Melody would be happy, so that was in my favor.

The rest of the trip was fine; I received a lot of positive response on my textbook, and there were only a few minor incidents at the book signings. I had a feeling I was going to get teased by Melody about the one elderly witch who managed to pinch my butt as I walked by to head to my chair at one signing, as she was eighty if she was a day. It seemed like the rest of the visits had flown by, as soon we were taking the last of the overseas portkeys to head home. As we stood there, waiting for the vase to turn the normal portkey color, Mel turned and looked at me.

"That was certainly interesting, Hank, and fun as well, but I'm ready to go home."

"Me too, Mel. I'm ready for a little bit of quiet." I put my arm around her waist and pulled her close. "Maybe not too quiet."

She leaned up and kissed me quickly. "We'll see."


	2. Welcome to the Ministry

Chapter 2: Welcome to the Ministry

Once Mel and I arrived back at Colony House in Stintborough after the honeymoon trip things did settle down, thank Merlin. She was thrown into all of the _Witch Weekly_ things she'd missed, and I had to get ready for another year of Muggle Studies at Hogwarts. Luckily there weren't any staff changes, especially regarding the headmaster position, so I felt pretty good about things. Neville and Hannah stopped over a few days after we'd returned, after we'd caught up on sleep and done the whole "recover after a vacation" thing. I had fun listening to Mel describe everything, and it was interesting to hear her explain, or try to explain some things. One of the things that she couldn't figure out initially was the American fascination with fast food, as she thought most of it was horrible. She'd loved Maine, liked Oregon and pretty much tolerated everything else in-between except for New Orleans; she liked New Orleans, especially the French Quarter, but wanted to stay in a different hotel next time. My story about the Bon Charme and Aunt Charlotte Malfoi was greeted with initial disbelief but then curiosity, and somewhere during the evening Neville and I hatched a plan to one day take the women to the Bon Charme. I had a feeling it was going to be a few years before that would happen, though.

I slid into the school year feeling very relaxed, and things went well, so well that before I knew it the school year was ending. The traditions of the previous year were followed, as we had another Muggle Club party at Colony House and unfortunately another Hogsmeade Swearing Party. My Muggle Studies classes were larger than the previous year due to the fact that it was open to all students, and some of the stigma of Muggle Studies being a "soft" option was slowly eroding away. The biggest change, though, was Lavinia. Even though we were only her guardians while she was attending Hogwarts Melody and I treated her like our daughter, and even if she wasn't our natural daughter she couldn't have been a better kid. She'd grew a lot over the year, let her pixie haircut grow out and seemed to have adjusted to the new normal very well. She worked hard at school, was a joy to have around the house during holiday, and when Tinney came over for Christmas it was like we'd just added onto the family. She and Willy were still dating, although they did break up for a week once.

It wasn't all butterbeer and chocolate frogs, though. I still don't know exactly what happened, but at one time Mel and I got into an argument and she ended up spending a night at her old place in London. Luckily for us Lavinia was staying with Ruby, so she didn't have to see or hear anything, but the next day we both realized we'd been idiots and promised never to do that again. She still didn't like me smoking my pipe, but figured it was easier to put up with occasionally than to have me smoking cigarettes again.

There were a few surprises, though. When Nate and Lavender showed up for Easter they surprised us by taking us out to lunch, along with Parvati Patil and her boyfriend Eliot something or other, both of whom I'd never met. After we'd finished eating at a restaurant that was really nice they took all of us to a chapel, and it was there that Nate and Lavender got married. Everyone was surprised, and I couldn't believe it when they said their vows, as Lavender was so sappily romantic I felt as if someone had changed brains with her. As soon as they had finished their vows we all ended up at Colony House and had drinks late into the night. Nate told me that he and Lavender didn't want a big to-do, and after what happened when my brother Ted got married, not to mention when Melody and I got married I didn't disagree. Melody and I also attended the wedding of my old college roommate Mike Greene to Cho Chang, a very pleasant event. I was glad to know that Mike was going to be around a while, as he lived in London in a flat trying to find work as an actor while Cho taught at Hogwarts. He did manage to make it onto the Muggle television once, as an American bad guy, but he didn't mind as it was work.

One of the best things that happened was that George and Angelina welcomed Freddie into the family. It was funny hearing from Hermione how pregnant Angelina absolutely ruled the house, as George actually could be serious and buckle down and do things if he put his mind to it. He was determined to make things easier for Angelina, and it made Molly extremely happy to see George be a very good husband and father. Of course he also did things like borrow Melody's laptop and managed to blow it up; I was initially really angry but Melody didn't care, as she never could get the hang of it.

* * *

I had no idea where 2006 went, not to mention most of 2007, as it was late August and I'd be starting classes soon. I sat in my office looking through the pictures that needed to be put into the photo albums when Melody walked into my office wearing a towel.

"You haven't even showered yet, and you're the one always telling me to hurry up? Come on, I told Ginny we'd help her get things ready. Do you have everything?"

"Yes, I have the charcoal and lighter fluid. It's just the Potter's barbeque, we'll be fine." I closed the photo album and sat the pile of pictures on the desk to the side of the book. "Besides, it doesn't take me that long to get ready. I'll be done by the time you've finally decided on what to wear."

"Not funny."

She left the office and I headed towards the shower. Unfortunately for her, I was right. I'd finished showering and had changed clothes while she sat on the bed in her bra and knickers looking into her closet. I looked at the pile of clothing on the floor and knew better than to ask or suggest anything, so I headed out to the garden. Lavinia was sitting in one of the chairs, reading a book and listening to her WUMP when I sat down in a chair next to her. My sudden appearance made her jump, and she took off her headphones and shook her finger at me.

"That's quite rude, you know. Scaring me like that."

"You're young, you'll live. Are you going with us? Can't remember."

She shook her head. "Willy's coming over, we're going to the WeasleyVision cinema. I'm so excited, the first one in the world. It was sold out last week an' he was lucky to get Saturday night tickets, I thought it'd be next week at the earliest. Ruby an' Carrick are coming with us."

I put my glasses up on my head. "Are any adults…"

"Yes, Hank, Willy's parents are going with us, don't worry. We won't be late. Besides, I'm watching the babies tomorrow and I have to get a good night's sleep before that."

"Is that here or…"

Lavinia sat back in her chair. "Oh Merlin." She sounded exasperated. "I don't know how Melody does it. I told you last week, I'm watching the Potter boys and Hermione's two at the Weasley's. You need a Rememberall."

"Hank, let's go!" Melody stood in the half-open back door. "We're going to be late."

I started to say something but Lavinia kicked my foot. When I looked at her she just shook her head.

Once we'd arrived by Floo at Grimmauld Place Hermione was the first to meet us; Melody left with her to go into the kitchen and I made my way outside, where Ron, Harry and George were sitting around the grill.

"About time you got here, I'm starving." Ron pointed a butterbeer at me. "Get that thing going, and we're doing it with magic."

"Sure, Ron. No problem." I dumped the charcoal in the grill, prepared the coals and doused them with lighter fluid. George did the honors, and soon the fire was going. I sat down in an empty chair next to everyone and readily accepted the butterbeer that Harry pulled out of the cooler.

"So how are sales?" George looked over to me. "The new book doing well?"

I nodded. "Sort of. Not as interesting as the others, but it's more of a specialty book. Not everyone needs help tracing their Muggle relatives."

"What'd you call it?" Ron shook his head. "Muggles stuck in a tree or something like that?"

I laughed. "Close. _Muggles in the Tree: Researching Your Muggle Genealogy_. Your mom came up with the title." Molly had helped me on the book and I gave her a co-author credit. I knew how to do Muggle genealogy, but the Wizarding stuff was out of my league, so I went to the only source I knew, Molly. "We're supposed to do a workshop over the Christmas holiday at Flourish & Blotts."

We heard the door open and saw Ginny holding the door open for James, who toddled out towards us. Harry picked him up before he could get close to the grill, and after James was safely on Harry's lap Harry pointed towards the grill. "Hot. Hot, James. No. Hot."

James shook his head. "Hot." He looked over and saw me. "Bin? Bin?"

"Sorry James, Bin isn't here today." I looked over to George. "Lavinia and Willy are on a date, they're going to the WeasleyVision cinema."

An owl swooped low over the horizon and landed on the arm of Harry's chair, and it was all Harry could do to keep James from grabbing the owl's tail feathers. As Harry struggled with James, keeping his hands away from the owl Ron reached over and took the note off of the owl. James sat down unhappily as the owl flew away.

Ron handed the letter to Harry. "Got the Auror seal on it, mate."

I took a drink of butterbeer. "That can't be good."

Harry shrugged it off. "Probably just another schedule update. Fortunately we've been rather slow lately." He sat James down on the grass, and Ron reached out for him, making James squeal with laughter as he picked him up by his leg. Harry laughed. "Don't let Ginny see you do that."

Ron waved him off and proceeded to bounce James on his leg while Harry read the note. I didn't mean to stare, but after Harry said "Merlin!" under his breath, I knew it couldn't be good.

Harry stood up. "We've got to go to the office, Ron. Hank, you're coming with us."

"Me?" I took a drink of butterbeer. "Why? I'm no Auror."

"That's for sure." George pointed his butterbeer at me. "You'd be the worst Auror ever."

Harry shook his head. "Can't say right now. Come on, we need to take James inside and tell the girls we'll be gone for a bit. I guess that means you're in charge of the grill, George."

We arrived at the Auror office by the visitor's entrance, and luckily being with two Aurors made the process much easier, not to mention that it was Saturday and the Ministry was almost deserted. As Ron held open the door to the elevator I looked over to Harry.

"It can't be the WLF, we haven't heard from them in ages. What's going on?"

Harry shook his head. "Not now. We'll find out, just wait."

The elevator deposited us on the Auror floor, and Ron and Harry walked briskly to what I knew was Ron's office. They always used Ron's office as Harry's was usually a giant mess that only he and his assistant could ever navigate or stand; Ron's office may not have been as clean as Percy's but it was comfortable and somewhat well maintained. A young witch was sitting outside Ron's office and as soon as she saw us approach she got up and walked down the hallway. Ron opened the door and we went in, sat behind his desk and Harry slid into a large purple leather chair that everyone called "Harry's chair."

I sat down in the smaller blue leather chair and looked over at the Aurors. "So can you tell me…"

The door opened and Gawain Robards, head of the Auror department walked in wearing striped pants and a sweatshirt, all in the colors of the Wimbourne Wasps. "Let's get to it. Mr. Boyd I'm going to invoke the secrecy agreements we've made over the years, so don't get any ideas. Yes, you can tell your wife but that's it." He put a file down on Ron's desk. "Here's what we know. Two weeks ago the Muggle Studies professor went missing at the Houdini School in New York. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, just a regular missing persons. The next week the Muggle Studies professor at the Laveau Academy in New Orleans disappeared, and at the same time the Muggle Studies professor didn't show for a mandatory meeting at Goodwood University in Vancouver, British Columbia. Besides the fact that it's too much of a coincidence that all of the Muggle Studies professors are missing, they have one other thing in common."

Robards looked directly at me, and all of the sudden I knew exactly why I was in Ron's office. "Holy shit."

"What is it, Hank?" Ron leaned across his desk. "What do you know?"

"I went to two of those places on my honeymoon, the ones in the UMS. All of them have adopted my Muggle Studies textbook."

"That's right." Robards nodded. "We've cleared it with Headmaster Titus, but I thought I would ask, even though I'm pretty sure I know the answer."

I took the parchment from Robards and quickly unrolled it. After scanning it quickly I looked up; I couldn't believe this was happening. "Really?"

Robards nodded, and then looked over to Harry and Ron. "Ministry wants Professor Muggle here to work with us in a semi-official capacity. The official story is that he's going to help with our Muggle interaction procedures. Harry, give him Billpub's old office and walk him through everything. Boyd, you've got a meeting here at half ten on Monday, get here at eight so we can process all your paperwork, get your ID, all of that. I'll leave you to read the file, I've got another meeting and then if the bloody owls don't pester me I might make the match. Now sign the parchment, Boyd, so I can leave."

I unsteadily signed the parchment with one of Ron's quills; as soon as I was finished Robards took out his wand, sent the parchment zooming out of the office and left, closing the door firmly.

"What the fuck? Muggle Studies professors using my textbook are missing?" I looked over to Harry, who just pointed to Ron, who was already reading the file. "Ron, what the hell is…"

Ron didn't move his head from the documents, instead he held up his hand. Harry stood up and nodded his head towards the door.

"Come on, I'll show you where the office is, Ron's going to be reading for a while. Best to let him digest things fully before asking too many questions, trust me."

As I followed Harry though a maze of desks my head was spinning. Muggle Studies instructors using my text were missing, I'd been drafted by the Aurors and the Ministry and I had a meeting on Monday. What the hell did I just get dragged into?

"Here we are. Sorry, I'm sure it's not very clean; after Billpub retired last year nobody's used this office. Um, you'll probably figure out why."

Harry opened the door, and I looked inside to see one of the smallest offices ever, there was just enough room for a desk, visitor chair and one file cabinet. There were no windows, and the place smelled awful, like someone had left a sandwich in the file cabinet for a few years. A thick layer of dust covered everything and a small, dead plant sat on the corner of the desk.

"I'm sure they'll have someone clean it before Monday. Do you think you can find your way back to Ron's office?"

I shook my head at Harry. "No. I don't. I wasn't paying attention; I'm still trying to process everything that's just happened."

"I understand, Hank. Come on, we'll head back; I'm sure Ron's read through everything by now."

It was early evening before we reappeared at Grimmauld Place, and Ron quickly tore into the remaining sausages and everything else. I picked at my plate as my appetite had disappeared, something that didn't escape Melody's notice. Luckily for me most of the guests had already left, leaving only our spouses, George, Angelina, Neville, Hannah and Petal Farnsworth. I wished I could tell them, especially Petal, as if there was ever a time I needed to pick a former Auror's brain it was now.

After we'd finished eating our late meal the women disappeared into the living room to chat, leaving us men alone in the garden. We sat around the table and George kept running on about the shop and the cinema and a bunch of other things, but I didn't really listen. I was too busy trying to figure out what the hell I was going to tell Melody. Luckily I was saved by Melody, who came out and said that she had a bit of a headache, so we headed home and I was saved from trying to make conversation out in the garden. I didn't know how Harry and Ron did it, separating work from the rest of their life like that. Practice, I guess.

When we arrived home Melody turned on the wireless to a music station, made tea and then sat down on the sofa. She patted the cushion next to her and gave me her "just tell me now, it'll save you trouble later" look. I knew better than to argue at that point, so I sat down and nervously took a sip of tea.

"Ok, out with it. You disappeared with Harry and Ron, and none of you said a word when you got back."

"I've been drafted by the Aurors and the Ministry. Remember when we stopped by the magic schools on our honeymoon? Two of the Muggle Studies professors we've met are missing, and another professor in Canada who's using my textbook is missing. Something's going on, and they don't know what it is or why. You can't say anything to anyone; this has to stay between us. I don't know if Hermione and Ginny will know, so unless you hear something from them you have to keep quiet. I've got a meeting at the Ministry on Monday. That's really all I know." I sighed and leaned against the sofa. "Oh, and they've given me a little office at the Ministry."

"Bloody hell, Hank! Tell me it isn't starting again."

She looked worried, and frankly I was, too. "No idea. Ron's read the file, I'll probably know more after Monday."

Before Mel could say anything else we heard the Floo, and Lavinia walked into the living room.

"That was great! You have to go see it."

I looked at Mel and realized the rest of the conversation would happen later, in private.

Sunday wasn't fun, as I was nervous and Melody was irritated. At least Lavinia was in a good mood, as she spent most of breakfast telling us the story of the movie which was about an apprentice dragon trainer. Apparently there were a lot of good dragon effects, and Lavinia said at one point she thought she was going to be eaten by a dragon. After breakfast Lavinia went to write a letter to her Aunt Tinney, as she had to know what her Aunt, as well as Charlie Weasley thought about the movie, specifically if it was realistic.

I spent the rest of the day in my office, as Melody worked on a piece for _Witch_ _Weekly_ for a while and then went to visit her Mum at Forthingsgate. I was supposed to go as well but stayed at home, something that didn't add to Melody's mood as we were supposed to have some sort of conversation with her Mum. I figured I could get the details later; I just had too much on my mind.

After re-reading most of my Muggle Studies text I couldn't see anything really objectionable to witches or wizards, as I'd gone over it with a fine-toothed comb prior to publication to make sure that there was nothing inflammatory or very controversial. I opened the window, pulled out a pipe and packed it. After finally getting it lit I sat there at my desk, wondering what the hell was going to happen. At least I'd know more in a few hours.

I couldn't sleep on Sunday night so I got up at four and puttered around the house, going downstairs so I wouldn't wake up Melody or Lavinia. Churchill, our black cat, did his best to wake everyone up as for some reason he kept walking around and meowing at me for no apparent reason. I checked his food and water bowls, but everything was fine. I chalked it up to my early rising disturbing his routine. Harry swung by at seven-thirty, apologizing for coming at such an early hour, but I assured him it was quite all right. I closed the door quietly, so as to not wake Melody or Lavinia, and after we stepped into my back garden Harry took my arm and we were gone.

Instead of arriving at the visitor's entrance or the Auror entrance we were in someplace entirely new to me; a large amount of chairs went around a round room that looked like a dentist's office, only less comfortable. Instead of old copies of magazines and half-dead plants an old copy of _Celebrity Wizard Weekly_ lay on one table along with a three day old copy of _The Daily Prophet_. There were no plants, and instead of the receptionists desk at a dentist's office there was a small window with a ledge sticking out from the bottom. A shade was drawn over the window that read "Closed."

"Looks like we're early. This place sure hasn't changed at all." Harry smiled slightly at me. "All new Ministry employees have to go through here to get their IDs, do all the paperwork…the usual."

"Harry, do you know anything…"

"No." His tone was very curt, and he looked at me as an Auror, not my friend. "Remember why you're going through this, and conduct your conversations accordingly." He took off his glasses and chuckled. "Merlin, I'm turning into Robards."

The door opened and a young woman walked in, glanced at us and then sat on a chair on the opposite side of the room. I was sure Harry was glad she was there, because it kept me from asking more questions. Harry handed me _Celebrity Wizard Weekly _and took the old _Prophet_, so I was left reading about the new WeasleyVision film stars, how they were adjusting to their new fame and, most importantly, what kind of hairstyles and robes the famous people were wearing.

I was spared finding out about an actress's diet by the sound of the shade going up and the window sliding open. Harry put down the paper and got up, so I followed suit and went with him to the little window.

"Name?" The bored wizard took a sip of tea and sat looking at us over his glasses, which I noticed were purple.

Harry elbowed me. "Boyd, Hank Boyd."

The wizard took his finger and ran it down a piece of parchment. "Not on the list." He looked around us towards the girl sitting in the room. "Next."

Harry shook his head. "Hank, give him your full name."

"Henry Aaron MacDonald Boyd."

The wizard moved his finger down the parchment, stopping halfway. "Yes, please step through the door and remember to be precise. This is the Ministry of Magic."

A door next to the window materialized and opened and I followed Harry through. As we walked down the hallway Harry laughed. "Welcome to the Ministry.

Over an hour later I followed Harry towards my new office. "Is it always like that? I mean, I've never been more poked or prodded or answered more questions in my life."

"Remember what department you're working with, Hank, and at what level. For one of the clerical jobs it's not that difficult, my assistant said it took her about a half hour, and those that work in the other offices, like the Magical Games and Sport, it takes them about fifteen minutes."

We went through the maze and eventually ended up at my little office, but this time the assistant's desk was occupied. An elderly wizard was standing over a young witch, pointing things out on a piece of parchment. When the two of them realized we were standing there, the older wizard straightened up.

"Well hello, Harry. Didn't know you'd be helping out today. Just getting Edith sorted." He looked over to me. "You must be Professor Mugg…Boyd. Professor Boyd."

"Professor Muggle's fine, I've been answering to it for a few years. You can just call me Hank."

"Good, that will make things easier. I'm Milton Lipstock, head of the Auror Administrative team here at the Ministry. Professor, Edith will be your assistant while you're working with the department."

"Very nice to meet you, Edith…hey, wait a second. You were downstairs earlier, right?" I pushed my glasses back on my head. "Crazy."

"Yes, yes I was. Edith Winston, professor. I'm quite looking forward to working with you."

Milton smiled and headed over to Harry. "Let's leave them to get acquainted. Harry, I had an offer from another Auror, said he'd give you a week at his fishing cabin on the lake if you'd let him have Scarlet."

"I'm not trading assistants, Milton." Harry shook his head. "Scarlet's the only one that can find anything in my office besides me. She's worth her weight in Galleons."

After Harry and Milton left the area, I looked at Edith. "So what now?"

"You have a meeting at half ten with Aurors Robards, Potter and Weasley. After that I don't have anything on your schedule."

I looked down at my watch. "That's in almost an hour. Guess its time to wait. Oh, have they cleaned my office? I saw it the other day, it was horrible." Edith opened her mouth to say something, but I could guess that she didn't know, either. "Sorry, you've been at this slightly longer than I have. Let's take a look."

The room was clean, that was the good part, but they painted my office a horrible shade of green. The air was thick with the smell of new paint, and I knew that if stayed in there all day I'd get a headache.

"Maybe we should leave the door open." Edith turned up her nose. "That's horrible."

For the rest of the time until my meeting Edith and I sat down and visited, getting to know each other. She was a short girl with shoulder-length brown hair, slim figure, and didn't wear a lick of makeup. Some men I know would call her plain, but she was pretty enough that I figured it wouldn't be long before Seamus Finnegan ended up by my office "just to talk." It took a while for Edith to realize that I had no clue what I was doing, and that I was going to need as much help as possible. I assured her that the stories about my lack of skills with a wand were absolutely true, and after a short demonstration of my abilities she put out the fire on the carpet with her wand. We had just missed each other at Hogwarts, as she left the year before I started. I would have figured that she was in Ravenclaw, as she was very sharp, but she surprised me as she was in Slytherin. When she told me that she almost acted embarrassed, but I assured her that even though I was the Head of House for Hufflepuff I didn't follow any of the old grudges.

"So what did you do before today, Edith?" I opened my bag and pulled out a pipe and a pouch of tobacco. "Were you working at another company?"

She watched me pack the pipe and glanced quickly at my office. "If you smoke it in there they'll never be able to tell. Might help the smell, too."

"Good point. Let's relocate."

Soon I sat behind my desk, puffing away at my pipe while Edith sat in the one small chair that could actually fit into my office. It was a good thing she wasn't very tall or else she would have had to open the door to let her feet out. "I don't think I caught your answer, what did you do before the job here at the Ministry?"

"I worked at Magical Menagerie in Diagon Alley. I did the books for them before…" She looked down at her shoes, and I wanted to say something, but instead I puffed on my pipe. Eventually she looked up at me. "They sacked me. I couldn't help it, they were just so cute and I knew the family. They weren't nice at all, and if they adopted them nothing good would happen. I took them back to my place and the family went away angry. My boss figured it out and sacked me."

"Holy shit, Edith. Oh, sorry, um, you'll have to get used to that. Hopefully I'm better at it here, but I tend to swear a lot. What was it that you took home?"

"Them, actually. Puppies. I've got three left, and I can only keep one. A friend of mine is coming over later tonight and might take one, but I'm not sure what I'll do with the other one."

Suddenly a piece of parchment in the shape of a paper airplane came in and started tapping Edith on the head. She pulled down the airplane, unfolded the parchment and looked at it briefly. "Time for you to go. Auror Robards' office."

I was late for the meeting because, no surprise, I got lost. A witch about my age with jet-black waist length hair found me wandering around somewhere in the vicinity of the records department, and after introducing herself as Harry's assistant Scarlet she showed me to Robards' office. Of course it was nowhere near where I was wandering so without her help I would have never have found it. I knocked on the door and after being told to enter I found Gawain Robards sitting at a large desk, Harry and Ron in chairs in front of the desk. Robards was leaning back in his chair and Ron was slumped forward in his chair and had his feet on Robards' desk.

"Merlin's short and curlies, took you long enough." Robards sat up, and his demeanor changed from one of relaxed conversation with his Aurors to one of authority. "And get your feet off my desk, Weasley. I am your boss, you know."

I sat down quickly. "Sorry, got lost."

Harry smiled. "We know. I figured as much so we sent Scarlet to find you."

"Maybe I should make her an Auror, missing persons department. Godric knows how she finds anything in that office of yours, Potter." Robards leaned forward. "Ok, no point in going over the basics, you know that already. Here's what's going to happen. We're going to pile enough parchment on your desk that you could paper the entire Wimbourne Wasp pitch and have some left over, and you're going to read it and give us your reports. The Muggle Ops lot is all out in the field and, well, they're more the get things done type, not the academic that you are. Since you're crap with a wand we've contacted some, um, experts another group to get you ready. There's a chance you might end up doing some field work, so it's best that you're prepared."

_What the fuck?_ "Um, sorry, sir, but field work? Classes start the first week of September."

"Sir?" Robards chuckled and looked over to Ron. "Pay attention, you could learn something. Sir. I like that." Robards turned back to me. "All right, then, enough of the funny stuff. This isn't a game, Boyd. You know first hand what the WLF and the other anti-Muggle groups are like. Trust me, I remember your bachelor party quite well, and I hope you do, too. The UMS is worried, and the Canadians are right behind them. We want you to contact the other schools, a letter is fine, and see what you can find out. Don't come right out and say it, just ask for feedback on your textbook or something. Establish a dialogue. Depending on what we find out from them and their Aurors we'll make a determination on whether we're going into the field. As for Hogwarts, Headmaster Titus and I have had a few conversations, and he's lined up someone to step in if you have to leave. I can't tell you who it is, but trust me, you'll be happy."

_A substitute? Who the hell could that be_? I took off my glasses and rubbed my eyes. "Sorry. This is a lot to take in."

Robards snorted. "Figured you'd just roll with it, after all, you're Professor Muggle. Haven't had the easiest go of it, have you?"

I thought about it for a moment, and he was right. "That's true. Ok, so now what?"

"These two," Robards pointed at Harry and Ron, "will walk you through things the rest of the day. Go off with Potter first, he'll get you the trainee auror kit, introduce you to your trainer and after that Weasley's going to walk you through the rest of our files. Other than that show up on time, do your work, don't take any files home to work on, tell your wife the absolute minimum you can to stay married, take lunch when you want and payday's on every other Friday."

"Payday?" I looked up at Robards, who was smiling at me apologetically.

"Quarter scale, you're not full time and you wouldn't pass the entrance exam. Now you three get out of here before I dock someone's pay." Robards took a look on his desk and shook his head. "KENDRICK GET IN HERE!"

As I left with Ron and Harry a flustered witch walked past us, notepad in hand, shaking her head. After she had closed the door I looked over to my two Auror friends. "Is he always like that?"

Ron put his arm on my shoulder. "Pretty much. He likes to shout and act all full of piss and vinegar, but he's a good guy. Don't let him fool you, though, there's a reason he's Head. I'll stop by your office and we'll go to lunch, one sounds good. See you then."

When Harry and I went to get into the elevator something was wrong; Harry was able to walk in without a problem, but I bounced off of what must have been an invisible force field or something. Harry stopped the doors from closing and stepped back out into the hallway.

"Where's your badge? Lift won't let you on without it."

I looked in my pockets. "Crap, I must have left it at my desk. Come on, let's go get it. Besides, I want to show you, they painted my office."

As Harry and I got close to my office Edith stood up and handed me a piece of parchment, telling me what was on it as I was holding it in my hand. "Equipment department at eleven, meeting with Agent Boot at noon on the practice range, lunch at one with Aurors Potter and Weasley and then two to four with Auror Weasley in your office. The first of six boxes of files has just been delivered."

As I stood there amazed Harry opened my door and let out a laugh, and then made a sound that resembled retching.

"Hank, this is horrible. The smell's somewhat better, but that color…"

I joined him in the doorway. "Yeah, Edith says it looks like the color of sick." I noticed a very large box on my desk. "That's the first of six?"

Harry clapped me on the shoulder. "Welcome to the Ministry, Hank."

After putting all of the Auror toys and clothing into a backpack and dropping it off with Edith, Harry and I took the lift down to the bottommost floor. The hallway was dark and narrow, and after walking what seemed like a mile we took a sharp turn and went through a large door. The room was long and narrow, and the first part of the room was divided into little cubicles. I couldn't figure it out for a moment, but then it hit me; I was at a firing range. Harry and I watched a man with short dark hair, dressed in a Muggle suit and tie firing his wand at targets that moved back and forth across his path, and he seemed to take them out with ease, never missing a target. When he was finished he put his wand in his pocket, looked at his watch and then to the entrance. He walked over purposely, and when he arrived he stuck out his hand.

"Good to see you, Harry."

Harry shook his hand. "You too, Terry. This is Hank Boyd, Professor Muggle."

I extended my hand, and he shook it. "We've met before, Professor. Cho's wedding."

"Really? Sorry, I met a lot of people that day and I had a little too much to drink. Nice to meet you again."

Harry nodded. "Ok, Hank, I'll leave you in good hands. I'll see you at lunch. Get him ready, Terry."

"Will do, Potter." Terry nodded and as soon as Harry had left Terry looked at me. "I've read your file and Scamander's filled me in, so I think we'll just skip the wand instruction."

_Rolf?_ "Holy shit, are you an Invisible?"

Terry nodded. "Worked Muggle Ops for years before joining, that's why they asked me to train you. Before we start, you grew up in America. How familiar are you with firearms?"

"Guns? Um, unless you count BB guns and the one time I went skeet shooting, not at all. Why?"

"Follow me." When we arrived at one of the firing cubicles Terry reached into his jacket and pulled out a handgun. He placed it on the table. "If you have to go out in the field for all intents and purposes your wand actually is useless. You've got to be able to protect yourself, field agents or civilians. After two months you will be firearm certified. Will be. Today we'll use my personal sidearm but tomorrow we'll have a selection for you to try, find out which one will be easiest to master. Robards must think something big is going to happen, because he had to call in a favor from Scamander to get me in here. You won't be an Auror or an Invisible, but I will not have you be a liability."

That evening when I arrived at Colony House I realized that I had missed supper. As I expected Melody was waiting for me at the kitchen table, reading and drinking a cup of tea. She seemed angry when she looked at me initially, but I guess the look of shock on my face must have changed her attitude.

"Hank! What happened? Is everything all right?"

"Where's Lavinia?"

"At Ruby's, it's just us. Sit down and tell me what happened." Her tone was worried. "Henry, what's wrong?"

I took a big, deep breath. Robards said to only tell Melody what was necessary to stay married, and I knew what that meant. I had to tell Melody everything.


	3. Smell the Wall

Chapter 3: Smell the Wall

"Mel! Can you come here for a minute!" I stood in front of my closet, wearing a towel. Today was my first full day of sort of working at the Ministry and I had no idea what to wear.

"What is it, Hank? What's wrong?" Melody stood in the doorway, and after realizing what my problem was she walked out of the room.

I spoke to her as she walked away. "Oh come on, like you've never done this." I looked into my closet and couldn't decide. Should I dress up or just put on my normal not-at-school stuff? Agent Boot had on a suit when I met him yesterday, and Harry and Ron wore the standard Auror boring stuff which reminded me of insurance salesmen. What the hell was I supposed to wear? I put on my boxers and threw on a robe. A quick glance at the clock said that I had over an hour before I was due at the Ministry, so I went in to the kitchen to fix a cup of tea.

Lavinia took one look at me and shook her head. "At least this time you've got the robe on. Remember when we had to go to the party?"

I poured the water and nodded at Lavinia. The party for Hermione's promotion in the Ministry was an event that I was reminded of every time I couldn't figure out what was appropriate to wear. I'd been irritated and walked out to the kitchen for a glass of water in my boxers, embarrassing Lavinia and Ruby, who I didn't know was over at the house that night. "Yes, I remember. What do you think, dress up or go regular?"

"What are you doing, anyway?" She took a bite of toast and looked at me. "Are you meeting any important people? Doing anything exciting?"

"I'm just reading documentation and putting together a report."

"Just go put on some jeans and a shirt, no shorts. I think they can see your white legs from space."

"Thanks, Lavinia. I really appreciate that. Ok, jeans then."

* * *

Right at the appointed time I arrived at the Ministry via the Floo network, and no alarms went off, no witches or wizards tried to chase me down to go through visitor security, nothing happened. I looked down at my badge, I was official. I made my way through the crowd until I found an open elevator, made my way into the crowd and pushed the right button. Eventually we made it to my floor, and I stepped out of the elevator and stopped. I turned my badge over and found the little map to my office that Edith had drawn on the day before, and I followed it like a dowsing rod until I found my office.

"Morning, Professor. Tea or coffee?"

"Morning, Edith. Tea, white, two sugars." I went into my office, pulled out my pipe and lit it. The horrible smell from the day before was still strong, but I could faintly detect a hint of something else. Edith brought me a cup of tea and sat down in the chair next to the desk. "Edith, what's that smell? Not that smell, the other one. I think I smell something…"

"I tried to fix it this morning before you came in. It's supposed to smell like a summer garden, but it didn't really work."

"Thanks for trying. Oh, thanks for the tea, too. I'd get it myself but I have no idea where everything is."

Edith laughed. "Not a problem. That's pretty much why I'm here, to do the basic stuff most witches and wizards do for themselves."

"So the stuff you're doing for me is…"

"A third year could do most of them. Well, I think I'm doing more than that, but as for the magic? Ok, I guess some of it is more advanced than third year, but…"

I held up my hand and took a sip of tea with the other one. "Say no more. I get it. Ok, what's on tap today?"

Edith pulled out her notepad. "Office work, you know, the boxes, until lunch at noon. After lunch you're meeting with Agent Boot until two, and back to the office after that."

"Ok, I guess I'm packed." I looked over to her and watched her write something down with her quill. "What do they have you doing while I'm reading and stuff?"

She pulled a little note from between the pages of her notepad. "I'm supposed to assist you in your research, and when there's downtime I'm supposed to read over Auror field notes and put them into the official record. That's what I found out this morning when I got in, but Mr. Lipstock's note said there would be other things. Oh, and I've got a training session at two, while you're with Agent Boot. No idea what that's about."

"Looks like we're in the same boat."

Edith left to head to her desk and I took a look at the large box that sat next to my desk. I put it on the table, opened it up and pulled out the first file folder. Time to dig in.

At ten-thirty, or half ten as Melody kept reminding me, I was stumped. Nothing in the files told me anything. The interviews with the people at the schools were all the same, nobody had seen a thing, there were no warning signs, no omens, nothing. It was as if one day the instructor was there and then the next moment they were gone. I took off my glasses and rubbed my eyes. Omens, that was a new one. I was expecting the files to read like something off of a TV detective program, but Auror files are definitely different, full of magical things that I had never thought of, like there wasn't any Apparition residue in the vicinity. Apparition left residue, who knew? Everyone but me, I guessed. All that magical detective work and they couldn't find anything. Magical…that gave me an idea.

"Hey Edith, you got a second?"

Since the distance from my office and her desk outside my office was so small, she scooted her chair for a few seconds and then leaned back in her chair and put her head around my door. "Sure. What do you need?"

"Do think there's any way to get the local Muggle newspapers for a week before the disappearances in each of the cities?"

"I don't know, but I'll find out."

As Edith's head left the doorframe I wondered if they'd looked at the Muggle newspapers. I was sure they had, but I had a hunch. A hunch, I thought to myself, who the hell did I think I was? I lit my pipe again but it was futile; the smell was getting to me. I pushed the chair back and half-slid out of it to the open space around the desk. I needed to take a break.

"Edith, I'm going to go see someone. I'll be back in a few minutes. Do you need anything?"

She lifted her head slightly. "Do you know where the breakroom is?"

"Um, no."

"Then I'm fine, thank you." She started to say something else, and then stopped and returned to her reading with a slight smile on her face.

* * *

I wasn't sure where I was going, but I had a vague idea that I'd run into Ron, Harry or Seamus, one of the Aurors that I knew. As usual my plan didn't work as I was horribly lost yet again, and the people who were walking by seemed very busy. I thought I knew the way back to my desk, one of the landmarks that Edith had drawn on the back of my badge had to be around here somewhere, so I took a look at my badge. The directions showed me the way to my desk, but they weren't the same; the directions had changed so I could find my way back from the very spot that I stood. Holy crap, Edith was awesome. Instead of going back to my desk I thought about going to Ron's office, and the directions changed again, and there was a little red dot where I stood now, and the dot moved ahead several spaces on the badge, showing me the way.

"Sonofabitch, she's awesome!"

An elderly witch in deep brown robes looked at me very oddly. "Excuse me, sir?"

"Oh sorry, didn't mean to say that out loud."

I followed the dot until I arrived outside of Ron's office, and the parchment airplanes almost hit me in the head as they went out the door. I walked over to Ron's assistant, who apologized for almost nailing me in the head with paperwork.

"Is he in?"

She nodded. "Yes, he is. Um, he's in a meeting right now, so I don't know when…"

The door opened and Hermione stepped out and then stopped short seeing me in front of her. "Oh Hank. I forgot you're here now, I…bye." She seemed flustered as she walked away briskly.

Ron's head came out of the door. "Phyllis move my…Hank! You here to see me?"

"Yep. I didn't interrupt anything, did I?"

Ron shook his head. "Get in here. No laughing, Phyllis."

I followed Ron into his office and after I shut the door I sat down in "Harry's Chair." Ron sat at his desk and didn't say anything, he just looked at me, his watch, and then back at me. I couldn't figure out what he was doing until suddenly the chair felt really, really hot, and then cold, and then it felt as if a thousand bugs were walking all over my body.

"Fucking hell!" I pushed myself out of the chair and instantly felt better. "What was that?"

Ron laughed. "That's why they call it Harry's chair. What was it that got you, the cold?"

"No, it felt like bugs were crawling all over me."

"You lasted pretty long. Seamus still has the record, he got up to the human pincushion part of the spell. Harry's little way of making sure that's his chair. So, sit down and tell me what's going on."

I sat in the other chair, the non-Harry chair, and after making sure that it wouldn't do anything I launched into it. "Ron, I've been reading the files. Nothing out of the ordinary seems to have happened, it was just like they were there one moment and gone the next. When I met those Muggle Studies instructors they seemed like regular people. Magical, of course, but just regular people. The only thing I didn't see in the files was Muggle information, what was going on in the Muggle world at that time. Edith's looking for the Muggle newspapers for each city a week before the disappearances. You did look at the Muggle papers, right?"

Ron nodded. "We did, but maybe you can find something in there we're not seeing. We don't always understand all the Muggle things in there, so let me know if you find anything. Was that why you stopped by, to see if we'd checked the papers?"

"Sort of. I had to get out of there for a while, the smell is killing me. My pipe doesn't even help."

"I heard it looked and smelled horrible. Billpub was an odd one, that's for sure. Tell Edith to put in a work order for Maintenance to give it a new coat of paint and make sure to put on there that you want Olly's Factory paint. They'll probably take it out of your pay, but it won't be too bad."

_Olly's Factory…olfactory. Good grief._ "Will do. So Hermione…"

"Goodbye, Hank." Ron waved his wand and his office door opened.

I followed my badge and the little red dot back to my office, and sure enough a stack of newspapers sat on Edith's desk. A rather large stack.

Edith looked up from her folder of parchment. "You found your way back; maybe you're getting the hang of this place."

"Maybe my assistant did a clever piece of magic to keep me from embarrassing myself. Wait, I did that anyway. Never mind, thank you very much, it's incredibly helpful. Speaking of which, two things." As Edith pulled out her notepad I realized that I'd used one of Melody's phrases. _Good grief._ "Ron said to have you put in a work order or something for Maintenance to repaint my office using Olly's Factory paint."

"Any specific color or do you want that one again?" She looked over to my office and then smiled at me.

"Ha ha, very funny. Something boring like white, that place is too small for anything crazy. Second thing, I need your help. There's no way I'm going to be able to read all of these newspapers, so we'll split them up. Mark anything that seems to be connected to the case and I'll do the same, and if we have time we'll switch."

Edith's face brightened immediately. "Thank Merlin! These Auror reports are horribly boring. Except for one, where they…of course I'll help. So what am I looking for?"

"Did they tell you what I'm working on?" I could tell from her expression that they definitely had not told her. "Ok, telling it to you might help me out. You've got clearance for this, right?" She gave me a look that was similar to the ones that Melody gave me when I was being "thick."

"Yes, professor, of course. Otherwise I'd be downstairs filing cauldron sales figures or something."

I spent the next twenty minutes or so filling in Edith, going over what Robards had told me, what I'd found out from Ron and Harry and what was in the file. I also ended up telling her about my honeymoon with Melody, the stops at the schools and bookstores and there was no way I could leave it out, I had to tell her about the stolen Jaguar, because I didn't have a story on why Melody and I had stopped driving and started using portkeys.

"So what happened to your car?" Edith tapped her quill, making it slightly pop up and down on her desk. "Did they ever find it?"

"Yeah, they found it, wrecked of course. My brother tried to have it fixed but the little bastards bent the frame. Total loss." I looked at my watch and realized it was lunch time. "Ok, let's knock off for lunch. I'm buying today, the least I can do. Without that map on my badge I'd probably still be wandering around somewhere."

* * *

As I had only really been to the Ministry for quick visits, never a full day, I had no idea that there were little magical restaurants dotting the buildings nearby. After deciding that Chinese was the best option we went to a little place and sat at a table in the middle of the room. When I asked Edith why she wanted to sit in the middle of the room she explained that it wouldn't look good for us to sit in the corner, as I was her boss and a married man. That made me stop on both accounts; I was having lunch with a very young witch and I was somebody's boss. Both made me a little nervous, as I hadn't even thought about those two things.

After ordering I forgot about everything and Edith and I talked about our plan of attack. She'd read one city's papers and I would read the next. We made sure not to say anything that would lead anyone eavesdropping to get a clue on what we were talking about, as I was slightly paranoid about that.

Our food had just arrived when a witch came in the door, looked around and hurried to our table. She sat down next to Edith and looked frantic. "Edith she's going to kick us out, I heard her talking to Mrs. Wofting."

"Millie, no! We can't lose that place." She looked at her watch. "How long…"

"Right now! Come on!" The witch got up from our table and left the restaurant almost at a run, causing several people to look at our table.

"What's wrong, Edith?"

"Our landlady's going to kick us out, we can only have one pet and we haven't been able to find a…" She looked at me. "You could help me out, couldn't you?"

_Oh no no no no no._ "Edith..."

"You can just keep him for a few days, and when she's convinced we only have one dog I'll take him back. Please?"

I dug out enough money to pay for our meal plus tip and pushed myself back from the table. "Come on, we both have appointments at two."

A quick side-along later I stood in front of a large, old and not very well-kept building. Edith didn't even say anything, she immediately opened the door and took off up the stairs. As I'm not in the best shape it took me a while, but eventually I made it to the sixth floor where raised voices were plainly heard. I followed Edith down the hallway and when she opened the door it was obvious that the voices were coming from her flat.

"Edith!" The witch from the restaurant ran over to my assistant.

"I've got a plan. Go with me." Edith grabbed her arm and walked further into the flat. I closed the door and followed them into the living room where two little puffs of fur ran around and barked at each other. In the middle of the room was a very large, unattractive and angry witch.

"Mrs. Froman, someone is going to adopt the puppy." Edith looked at the woman and it didn't seem as if it made a difference, the woman's expression was gleeful.

"Sorry, but you knew the rules when you signed the lease. One pet. Now if you don't have everything out by tonight I'll have the movers…

"Um, excuse me." I stepped forward towards the angry witch. "I'm here for the puppy."

As soon as I spoke the woman's expression changed from glee to shock. "And who're you?"

"Hank Boyd. I'm here for the puppy." I looked at the two puffballs, and when I knelt down they both came running over and jumped up to be petted. "Edith, which one is mine?"

"The big one." She knelt down next to me and picked up a puppy and put him in my arms. "I told you, Mrs. Froman, I told you someone was coming over for the puppy."

I stood up with the puppy in my arms, and he licked my face.

"Well, Abraham and I have strict rules, so you're lucky this time." She looked at me as if I had just, as my dad liked to say, pissed in her Cheerios. "So how do I know this isn't a trick? That you'll just take the puppy for a few days and then it'll be back here raising hell?"

I couldn't look at Edith. I only hoped Melody would understand. "It's a present for my wife. When I'm at Hogwarts during the year the dog will keep her company." Then something clicked in my head. "Did you say your husband is Abe Froman?"

"Yes, do you know him?"

_Sure, he's the fucking sausage king of Chicago_. "Guess not, must be somebody else; I think his wife's name is Sloane."

Mrs. Abe Froman left the flat, and Edith and her roommate started thanking me over and over until I finally put down the dog and held up my hand. "Ok, here's how this is going to work. Since I now own a dog the two of you are coming with me to tell my wife. Edith, we don't have anything until two, right?" _Fuck. My first official day on the job and I was sneaking away from work to surprise my wife with a dog. Not what I had expected at all._

_

* * *

_

We arrived via Floo as I couldn't Apparate and neither of the girls had ever been to my house, and the sound of the Floo brought Melody out of my office. As she came around the corner while we were brushing Floo powder off of ourselves it was obvious that she didn't expect to see me at home, let alone see me at home next to two young women holding something wrapped in a blanket that was moving.

"Hi Mel. Surprise."

"Oh yes, definitely a surprise." She looked at the girls. "And who have you brought with you today?"

_Shit. This was going about as well as I figured it would._ "Um, this is Edith, she's my assistant at the Ministry, and this is…" I looked over to Edith, as I had no idea who the other girl was."

"I'm Millie, Edith's roommate."

Melody stood with a hand on her hip. "Nice to meet you, girls. So what do I owe this pleasure…"

I stepped forward and handed the moving bundle in the blanket to Melody. "This is for you. For when I'm gone at Hogwarts."

Melody took the blanket and looked at me strangely, and I figured I'd get an earful later that night. As she unwrapped the blanket a small nose popped out and licked her on the cheek. "Henry, what did you…" She knelt down and completely unwrapped the blanket, and the small ball of fluff barked and ran around her leg. "What kind is…"

Edith stepped forward. "He's a Welsh Corgi." She and Millie took turns telling the story of how Edith ended up getting sacked because of the puppies and my last second rescue of the girls from eviction.

I could tell as the story had progressed that Melody was hooked as well, and at the end of the story she only had one question, if the dog had a name yet. The girls hadn't named him, as nothing seemed to fit and he didn't respond to any of the names they'd tried. It was then that I told Melody what I considered the topper of the whole story, the name of the landlord. She'd seen Ferris Beuller many times, as it was one of Lavinia's favorites, and she broke out into laughter.

The happy scene was short-lived, though, as Churchill walked into the room and seemed to stop mid-step as he realized something was in his house that was not supposed to be there. The puppy went right up to Churchill and barked at him, wanting to play, and Churchill made a ton of not happy cat noises and ran like hell out of the room.

"Damn, Mel, did you hear Churchill? He spit…"

The puppy turned and barked at me, waggling his butt. _Oh no. Not that_. "Churchill." The puppy didn't do anything. "Damn. Mel." Still nothing. _Fuck_. "Spit." Once again the puppy barked and wagged his butt.

"Hank…" Mel shook her head. "Did you just name my dog Spit?"

Once again the puppy barked and then went over to Melody, who reached down and picked him up. _Wait a second._ "Your dog?"

"Well he's a present for me, right?"

Edith tapped me on the arm. "Professor, we need to go. Our two o'clocks…"

* * *

After two hours on the firing range with Terry Boot my right arm was tired. Luckily I was what Terry called a natural, as I didn't fare too badly at all. I chalked it up to being an American, all of those years of ancestral gun ownership in my DNA. Terry had narrowed it down to two different handguns, both of which I liked. My only problem came when I let it slip that my right arm was going to be sore in the morning, as that was absolutely the wrong thing to say. Terry read me the riot act, saying that if my life or other people's lives depended on it I couldn't afford to be tired. The remedy was easy for that, according to him, and he loaded a clip and handed me the Walther, but when I went to aim it he shook his head. He took the gun out of my right hand and put it in my left hand, and for the last half hour I only used my left hand. Terry's reasoning was that if you were in a tight spot you might not be able to use your preferred hand, so it was essential to be able to use both hands.

As I walked out of the firing range towards the elevator I couldn't believe my day. I'd probably interrupted or came in at the wrong moment on a "special" Ron and Hermione meeting, I'd met Mrs. Abe Froman, adopted a dog for Melody and accidentally named him Spit, fired untold rounds of ammunition from two handguns, only to be told by an Invisible that I should use both guns, that two was always better than one, but that I should probably only use the Walther in my left hand. Shit, my day wasn't even done yet. When I got back to my desk I had a stack of newspapers to look through with my assistant, a very young girl who came over to my house unannounced to see my wife along with her roommate. I was sure that Percy Weasley never had days like this at the Ministry.

When I got back to my office Edith had her face buried in a newspaper and only when I rifled through the stack to find the papers from New Orleans did she look up. "Good meeting?

"Uh, sure. How goes it?"

She folded her newspaper and sat it on her desk. "It's bloody boring in Canada." She pointed to the papers from Vancouver on the other side of her desk. "Well, those were, anyway. Nothing that I could connect to our project."

"Project, I like that. Sounds better than case, especially as I'm not really an Auror." I picked up the stack of newspapers from New Orleans and put them under my arm. "Usually I'd feel bad about asking this, but not after today. Do you mind…"

"Cup of tea, coming up."

She left her desk and I shook my head. _How in the hell did she know what I was going to ask?_ I went back into my office where several stripes of paint in different shades of white were on the wall, and a small sign was taped up that told me to pick the one I liked best and to put the a note on the wall. Down at the bottom of the note was some obviously feminine handwriting that reminded me to smell the paint, along with the initials E.W. I was in the process of smelling my office walls when she walked in with a cup of tea.

"I bet your students would love to see a picture of that."

"I'm sure they would. Thank you for the tea. How did you know what I was going to…"

"Because that's what I would have wanted if I was you. So, which one do you like?" She sat down in the visitor's chair and took out her notepad. "The one on the left smells like vanilla."

"It's either that one or the cocoanut one. Cocoanut would probably get old, so the vanilla one."

The knock on my door surprised the two of us, and I looked around the corner while Edith did the "lean and look" thing again.

"Sorry to interrupt, I'd come in but there's no room." Seamus Finnegan smiled at me, but mostly at Edith. "Yer wanted in Robards' office right away. I'm to walk you there."

I fielded Seamus' questions about Edith on the walk to Robards' office, and while I didn't shoot him down I didn't encourage him, either. I'd only worked with Edith for almost one full day but I knew Seamus' reputation; after all he'd been involved with almost all of the assistants, my former wedding planner and somehow Petal Farnsworth, the former Auror and DADA professor, which I couldn't see at all. Luckily I didn't have to think too long on it as we arrived at Robards' office and I was waved in immediately.

Ron and Harry sat in front of Robards, and Terry Boot stood off to the side. I took a seat quickly between Harry and Ron and waited for someone to say something. Robards looked over at me and then over to Terry Boot; Terry held out his hand and waved it back and forth as if to say "so-so."

"Boyd!" My attention snapped to the Head Auror instead of the Invisibles agent. "Tell me if you can identify this object." He reached down and put a smallish box on the table. I waited to see what it was, but nobody moved. "Bloody hell, professor, open up the box!"

I stood up and opened the cardboard flaps of the box; reaching inside I took out a charred book, half of it was gone, but the bottom part was still intact. I tuned a few pages and then recognized a graph on the bottom of the page. "It's my book."

"Which book, Boyd?" Robards leaned back a little in his chair.

"_Muggles in the Tree_. The genealogy book."

Robards nodded. "That's right. It was found at the site of a house fire in Ireland, in a Muggle village. You heard me right, a Muggle village, out in the middle of nowhere. Professor, Boot here tells me that you probably won't shoot yourself accidentally, so I'm going to go out on a limb and give you a temporary permit for those Muggle blasters you've been practicing with. Weasley, I need you here. Boot's boss has him on assignment, so that's out the window. That leaves you, Potter. I'm not involving any other Aurors in this case, so you get to go camping with Professor Muggle."

_What the fuck?_ "Camping?"

"Kiss your wives good tonight, boys. You're going camping in Ireland tomorrow." Robards smiled and I could tell he was enjoying giving me a hard time. "Time to see if you're worth that Galleon a month I'm paying you. Go find out what the bloody hell a wizarding book, your book, was doing in a Muggle village."

_Crap, I didn't want to go camping in Ireland._ "What about Hogwarts, I have to do prep, and Edith and I are doing research, and…"

Robards rolled his eyes and leaned back to look at Terry. "Boot, will it make a big hole if you just shot him in the leg or something?"

Terry nodded, his face deadly serious. "Probably pass through the soft tissue and put a hole in your office unless it lodges in the bone. Lot of blood loss. Big mess."

"Maintenance would be on my ass again, just like how I have to pay to have an office repainted because it smells bad. Get out of here. I expect to see you and Potter in here at nine tomorrow, Professor. Boot will give you Muggle bang bangs after that. Dismissed."

* * *

When I arrived back at Colony House Lavinia and Ruby Smythe-Warring, Lavinia's best friend, were sitting on the floor playing with the puppy. I put my bag down on the floor and the puppy ran over to me, so I knelt down and petted him.

"I can't believe you got Melody a dog, Hank." Lavinia was smiling. "He's so cute."

"I think he looks like a little bear." Ruby added. "Don't you think so, Professor?"

As he rolled over on his back and I scratched his tummy, I had to agree. "I think you're right, Ruby. Where's Melody?"

"Downstairs with Churchill. I think she's trying to make it up to him." Lavinia pointed towards the stairs, and then said "Spit, come here boy, here Spit." The dog ran over to her, fumbling once on his little legs.

Melody was sitting downstairs in a chair reading with Churchill on her lap when I walked into the room. The moment Churchill realized I was there he stretched and then left the room.

"He's not very happy with you, Hank. Since we've been together you've brought a teenager, her cat, a house elf and now a dog into the house. What's next?"

I sat down in a chair across from her. "I dunno, how does a baby dragon sound?'

"Funny." She took off her glasses. "So I take it you had an interesting first full day at the Ministry? I know it had to be good based on the mail I received today."

"Mail? What'd we get in the mail?"

She gave me her "I'm going to lay it on thick" smile. "Oh, the usual. Floo bill, invitation to a press event that Witch Weekly will cover, letter from your assistant and a note from Ovelia Mimkins saying that you were having lunch with a scandalously young witch and left the restaurant in a hurry before you could be recognized. Normal stuff, really."

"Wait, what? Run that by me again, and who the hell is Ovelia Mimkins?"

"She works for Hermione. She obviously saw you and Edith at lunch. Gossip never sleeps, Hank." Melody got up from her chair and sat in my lap. "And your assistant Edith wrote me a very nice note apologizing for surprising me like that and told me to thank you, as if it wasn't for you she and her unemployed photographer roommate would be sleeping out on the street. Oh Professor Muggle, you're my hero!" She kissed me very loudly on the forehead.

"Are you mad about the dog? Honestly, you can tell me." She started playing with my bald spot, and I knew I wasn't in trouble at that point.

"No, he's adorable; I just wish he wasn't named Spit. Lavinia loves him, and there's no way I'm letting him go now. Like you, I think I'll keep you."

_Fuck_. "Um, you're going to have to let me go, tomorrow morning to be exact. Mel, Robards is sending me and Harry to Ireland. We're going camping."

* * *

_**A/N: Formatting is once again bothering me, so I apologize if this chapter was hard to read. I obviously don't own Harry Potter, and Ferris Beuller belongs to the late John Hughes.**_


	4. Walking and Whingeing

Chapter 4: Walking and Whingeing

When I arrived at the Ministry I was almost relieved, as Melody was decidedly not happy that I was leaving again. After listening to her for almost all of the previous evening and pretty much all of that morning, it was good to get to the noise and chaos of the Ministry so I could have a bit of peace. She'd said all the right things, that I was an academic not an Auror, that I had no business being on the trip with Harry, that I was jeopardizing my position at Hogwarts and that whatever training I had received had in no way properly prepared me for my task. I'd spent the night in the spare room, as after telling me all the reasons I shouldn't go I had tried to rebut her issues, but somehow we'd ended up shouting at each other. She took the dog, went to the bedroom and shut the door, leaving me no other option but the spare room.

Once I'd arrived at my floor I pulled out my badge and made it to my desk; somehow before I had a chance to even say 'Good morning' Edith was lifting a cup of tea in my direction. "You have no idea how much I need that, thank you. What is it this morning? Anything before nine?" I sat my backpack down on the floor and took a sip of tea.

"No, just the meeting with Head Auror Robards, Aurors Potter and Weasley and then a short meeting with Agent Boot at the practice range. After that your schedule just says 'out of office'; that's it."

She didn't look particularly happy, and when I saw the stack of folders on her desk I figured out why almost immediately; she'd be stuck doing paperwork the entire time I was gone, however long that was going to be. Definitely not enough to keep her busy, and she would be bored as hell. "Shit, Edith, I had plans, too. Ok, hold on a second." I went into my office, rummaged around on my desk and collected the newspapers that I had been reading the day before. I started to head out to her desk but she was already sitting in the chair next to my desk, so I sat down. "I'm probably not going to be able to take all this stuff with me, and there are still a lot of boxes to go through, so I need to you to take the lead on this."

"Oh thank Merlin." Edith sighed and leaned back in her chair, letting her notepad and quill fall to her lap. "The thought of all those reports…"

"I guessed as much. Horrible waste of a Hogwarts education." _Especially for a Slytherin_. I took another sip of tea. "Ok, you know about the disappearances, and what I told you about my newest book, so…"

"Picked up a copy last night on my way home, plus your other books." Edith looked down at her shoes. "I'm sorry, but I haven't read them."

"Not a big deal, Edith. Not everybody's cup of tea. I've been through them and I didn't see anything too objectionable to wizards, well the first one, probably…and the textbook…ok, if you were a wizard who hated Muggles you'd probably hate all of my books, but see what you think. I have no idea if you'll be able to contact me or not, Harry hasn't told me anything and I have no idea what the proper procedures are, but if you can contact me send me anything and I'll fill you in as best I can."

* * *

After walking out of Robards' office with Harry I didn't feel any better about the whole situation. I figured there'd be more to our little expedition than "go see what you can find out," that they had more clues than the burnt book, but that was really it. The only thing that made me feel any better was that we were going to be disguised, as I was somewhat known in the Wizarding community but Harry was internationally famous. Even though we were going to be in a Muggle village in case any of the "interested parties" were around we needed to look like, well, not us. Ron suggested that I go see Luna Scamander, as he thought that the giant beard she gave me at the New Year's Eve party a couple of years ago was hilarious, but Robards yelled at him to stop cracking wise and get his ginger ass to work.

Harry and I left the two of them going over a map and I followed Harry down a hallway towards a small room that looked like a crazy hair salon crossed with the costume room of a theater department. When we entered a middle-aged witch looked up from her _Daily Prophet_, threw the paper onto the floor and started clapping her hands.

"Potter, it's been ages. Can I finally…"

"No Beatrix. Not this time." He looked over to me. "There's an Auror on staff who likes the spiky hair all in black thing, I think you call it bunk."

That made me laugh. "Punk?"

The witch came over and stood in front of us. "That's it. I'm thinking a blue Mohawk, leather chaps and a lot of tattoos. Ooh and a nose ring!"

Harry shook his head. "No tattoos, definitely not. Ginny hates them, what would happen if they didn't wear off? Like Chumley?"

Beatrix shook her head. "That was a mistake. One time, one time I mess up and I hear about it for years." She looked at us, and then took out her wand and began waving it around me, causing slight yellow streaks to move around me. "So what are we doing today?"

"Nature tourists in Ireland." Harry gave her a piece of parchment and she looked at it.

"Bloody boring. Ok, let's get started."

About an hour later Harry and I left the room, him with dark red, shaggy hair and a goatee while I was, well, let's just say I was happy with the results. Instead of my thinning blonde hair I had shoulder length chestnut colored hair, a full beard and grey eyes. Both of us looked as if we'd slept in our clothing a few weeks, as it was sufficiently outdoorsy and frayed at the right spots. We arrived back at my office so I could pick up my bag and go meet Terry Boot at the practice range, and when we stood in front of Edith she looked up at us strangely.

"I'm sorry, he's not in at the moment. Can I take a message?"

"It's me, Edith." I thumbed over to Harry. "And that's Harry."

She put her quill down on the desk and leaned back in her chair. "Merlin's pants, I would never have guessed. Mr. Potter, is that really you?"

* * *

When we arrived down at the firing range I thought we'd try to fool Terry, but Harry didn't say anything. As we walked in the door Terry stood motionless at the cubicle for a few minutes and then sat down in the only chair in the room. I didn't want to say anything, as I thought he might recognize the voice. My illusion was shattered almost immediately.

"Glad you're finally here, Professor. We've got a lot to go over and a very short time to do so." He looked over to Harry. "Good one, Potter. You look like a Weasley."

_What the fuck?_ "Oh come on, how did you know?" I looked at Harry, and then back to Boot. "I don't look anything like I usually do."

"Same height, you walk the same way, you're standing with your weight on your left foot and Potter…well, I know Potter.

"Shit." I took a look at Harry. "Do you think I could fool Melody?"

Harry shook his head. "No time, Hank. Sorry." He looked over to Terry. "Send him up to my office when you're done."

Once Harry had left Terry looked at me sternly. "This goes against my better judgment and all of my training, but I don't have a choice. This is a temporary license, and I'm only going to approve it if you can demonstrate proficiency. I expect better than yesterday." He walked over to the range without saying a word, so I followed him, and when we got to a cubicle with a box on top he stopped. "I'm issuing you two firearms, the Walther and the Beretta. The ones we used yesterday are full-Muggle weapons but these have been adapted for non-Muggle use. There are two holsters for you, one is a side holster, that's for the Beretta, and the second is a back holster for the Walther. The holsters are enchanted, you'll never feel the weight or the straps, you can sit comfortably in any position, and they don't show up on any Muggle scanning devices. They don't create any tell-tale bulges in your clothing, either, but you do have to wear a shirt underneath. I would tell you why if you were a wizard but you're not."

I started to reply that I was actually 1.3% wizard but thought better of it. He handed me the empty holsters, and after realizing I had no idea whatsoever what to do with them Terry showed me how to put them on. He was absolutely right, it was like they were barely there. I had to feel with my hand at the small of my back to make sure the holster was actually there.

"Now then." Terry picked up the handguns and handed them to me, grip first, and I put them in their respective holsters. "These are slightly modified from what you used yesterday. The clips auto-reload four times before they need to be replaced and will automatically disengage when empty. It's magic, that's all you need to know. The main thing is that the safety can be controlled by a nonverbal command, but with your skills it's doubtful that you'll be able to make them work. Load a clip and give it a try."

I loaded a clip as Terry took a few steps back. Soon the targets began to appear, and I held the Beretta at the targets and pulled the trigger. Nothing happened, and I looked over my shoulder at Terry. He remained motionless, and didn't say anything, so I tried again, but nothing happened until I physically took off the safety. After squeezing off a few rounds I turned the safety back on and put the Beretta back in its holster.

* * *

Harry and I arrived in Ireland out in the country at a small house that looked like it hadn't been occupied in at least ten years, as it seemed to be falling apart and everything was covered in a thick layer of dust. Before I could even ask Harry told me that we were in a small Auror owned property in the country, a house they used as a safe house of sorts. While I was looking around the place Harry walked over to a cupboard, tapped the door with his wand and then reached inside to find several envelopes, some of them rather large. After stuffing the enveloped into his jacket Harry shouldered his large backpack and headed towards the door, saying that we had a lot of hiking to do before we made it to our campsite for the night.

Luckily the weather was decent and we made good time, but I don't know if I was just out of shape or tired from the lack of sleep the night before or whatever because when Harry stopped and declared we had arrived at our site I half way threw my pack down and almost fell onto the grass. "Son of a bitch, Harry. I mean, I know Aurors have to be in good shape and all, but shit, I'm a professor." I pulled back my hair and tied it into a ponytail. "Fuck, I knew the hair and the beard were a bad idea. Ok, how far is the village?"

Harry sat down and pulled a map out of the pocket of his jacket. "Um, let's see. If we make good time we should be outside of the village before the sun goes down. tomorrow."

I took a deep breath. "You're got to be fucking kidding."

Harry laughed at me. "No, I'm fucking not." I looked at him as if he'd grown another head and the both of us started laughing. "Ginny hates it when I swear, but if I kind of look like Ron…oh well, come on, we've got a tent to put up. You've got to help me, since outside the tent we're both Muggles until further notice."

Once we'd put up the tent and I'd said a few choice words Harry did the protective spells, unzipped the tent flap and we stepped inside. It was just like all wizarding tents, amazingly larger on the inside than on the outside. Harry put down his pack and sat down on one of the cots, and I literally fell into mine. I was fucking exhausted. I took off my glasses and rested an arm over my eyes. This was fucking ridiculous. I looked like a hermit or a drummer from a crappy band, I was sweating my ass off and we were going to tear down everything in the morning and walk all goddamned day to get to the village.

"Oh, Hank, there's one for you in here."

I lifted my arm to see Harry next to me, holding out an envelope. I took the envelope and recognized the writing immediately; it was from Melody.

_Dearest Hank,_

_I am sorry for last night and this morning. I know I shouldn't have been so horrible to you, but to be honest I'm worried. I'm worried that all of the things that happened before are starting again, that even with the extra training you've received you'll still be in danger. How could they send you out there with only a few hours of training and your skills? I'm sorry, love, but you aren't much of a wizard. Honestly, I wonder about that lot. If that's their usual level of preparation then I'm frightened to think about the survival rate of new staff._

_Don't worry about things here; I will take care of everything for you while you're gone. Above all listen to Harry and Ron and for Merlin's sake don't do anything stupid. Remember what you say, that you're a lover, not a fighter. I promise to remind you of that when you get home. I had lunch with Hermione today and she reminded me of things yet again. I still don't know how she and Ginny do it, every day there's a chance their husbands might not come home. Frightens the bloody hell out of me._

_Received another note from Edith, asking about Spit. She also promised to keep me updated when she could, and she asked if we could have lunch later this week, something about your books. I'm not sure what that's all about, but I'm hoping she'll have an update for me by then, or better yet you'll be home and the three of us can go together. I'm still not sure I like you having an assistant that young, but I trust you. Why do you have an assistant, anyway? I thought that you had to be fairly high up in the department for that. I've been an assistant editor at Witch Weekly, longer than your two-day stint with the Ministry, and I don't have an assistant!_

_I'm sorry, Hank. I should've realized all the things you were going through. I'll make it up to you when you come home._

_Love, _

_Your Melody_

I sat up and folded the letter and stuck it in the inside pocket of my jacket which I was still wearing, even though I was "sweating my arse off" as Ron says. Harry was busy reading a large folder so I didn't disturb him; instead I got up and tried looking through the cupboards until I found a kettle. Somehow or other the faucet worked in the small sink, so I busied myself making tea, and while doing that I almost smacked myself in the forehead. Of course I knew how the faucet worked, magic. You would have thought that living in the wizarding world, let alone being married to a witch would make things like the faucet working in the middle of nowhere normal, but every now and then something like that would happen. I guess I must have been laughing to myself as I heard Harry speak, but I didn't catch what he said.

"Sorry, what's that?"

"I said, I take it you had a funny letter?"

I shook my head. "Not really, the letter was from Melody. I'm just laughing because the faucet freaked me out. You'd think living here this long would make me used to stuff like that."

Harry folded up the file and took off his glasses. "Took me years, and to be honest every now and then something takes me off-guard, usually something of George's."

The kettle sang its happy song and Harry and I busied ourselves making tea; he pulled a tin of biscuits out of his pack and for a while we sat silently, munching biscuits and drinking tea. Finally, I couldn't take it any longer.

"How do you do it, Harry? With Ginny, being an Auror, the whole could be killed tomorrow thing?"

Harry sat there for a while, and I didn't say anything. Finally he cleared his throat. "Well, it's always been that way for me, really. You know what it was like when I was at Hogwarts. Well, you've read and heard about it, but it always seemed to be lurking around the corner. The days when the only things I had to worry about were Quidditch and essays, those were the good days. Things got complicated very quickly. After Voldemort was gone, it's…it's just what I knew. Ginny and the rest of the DA went through some awful things, so…"

I took a sip of my tea. Harry and I had talked about this topic somewhat before, but somehow it was different this time.

"Look Hank, Ginny and I know the risks. We also know what it would be like if there weren't Aurors out there every day making sure people are safe. She knows that I couldn't sit in an office somewhere and push parchment, it's not me. She knows that and she understands. It doesn't make it easy sometimes, that's for sure. If I may ask, why the questions? Melody?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Blew up big time at me last night and this morning. Said there was no reason I needed to go, I'm a crap wizard, shit like that. Slept in the spare room last night."

"Well, she is right. You are a crap wizard."

"Fuck off, Potter."

"Sorry, couldn't help it. She's right on the other things, though. It is dangerous that you're out here, but Ron thinks you're connected to this and I don't disagree."

* * *

The next day came entirely too early for me, and even though Ginny always complained that Harry never liked to get up in the morning he was up and ready to go at the crack of fucking dawn. After a quick cup of tea and some cold breakfast we set about taking down the tent, and as soon as it was stowed away we shouldered our packs and headed off towards the village. Harry filled me in on our cover story, and unfortunately it hit a little too close to home for me, which he apologized for in advance. Ron had decided that I was a writer who had decided to take in the Irish countryside by living in a tent for a few months because my long-time girlfriend had left me, and Harry was my friend who decided to go along to keep me from chucking myself in front of a bus. I made a mental note to find a way into Ron's office and do something horrible to him, like eat all of his chocolate or something. Definitely a job for George to help with when I got back.

Luckily for me a light rain began to fall, making the hike somewhat bearable. I'd always wanted really long hair, but the combination of hair and beard was beginning to get to me. We stopped in a village on our way and had lunch and a pint at the pub, mostly because I was whining, or whingeing as Harry reminded me, that I was starving and my feet hurt. When we made it back on the trail Harry considered our pub stop a good test, as nobody seemed to take us for anything except hiking Muggles.

The rest of the day went fairly well, as Harry and I talked about a number of subjects, most of them nowhere close to the reason we were walking through Ireland, and one topic we kept coming back to was college, specifically what it was like for me in America. After explaining how everything worked Harry laughed, saying that if Hermione lived over there she'd probably be on her eleventh doctoral degree, and then he fell silent. I guess the gears were working as I didn't say anything, but almost a mile down the trail and five subjects away he returned to the university topic, asking me if I thought it would be beneficial in the wizarding world. I told him I thought it would, as students would be better prepared in the work place, and some would have advanced, specialized training.

As the sky began to grow dark Harry took out his map, and I know I thanked Jesus, Mohammed, Buddha and every other deity I could think of when we turned off of the trail and headed to the campsite. It didn't take us as long to put up the tent this time and after Harry put up the protective spells we were inside. Since it was my turn to cook I decided to make breakfast because the cold breakfast that morning hadn't cut it. Once we'd eaten and cleared everything away Harry and I grabbed a beer from the little fridge and sat at a table. He spread out the map of the area and before I could even ask he answered my question.

"Ok, Hank we're here." He looked to find something to write with, so I handed him an ink pen from my pocket. "Thanks. Right, we're here and the village is here. Not more than an hour, um, two since you keep whingeing. We'll go slowly. It's a small village, and the house is on the outskirts. Not sure if we'll go there straightaway, might go to the pub first and see what we can find out. Buying a round probably wouldn't hurt, help loosen some tongues."

"Please tell me we don't have to get up so early tomorrow." I took a sip of my beer. "I mean, come on."

"Melody's right, Hank, you'd be a horrible Auror." He folded up the map and put it inside a file folder. "All right then, let's knock off early. Mind if I listen to the wireless?"

"Help yourself, I'm crashing."

* * *

I woke to the smells of bacon, always a good way to start the day, and unlike yesterday I actually didn't feel too bad. Sure, my legs hurt a bit, but it wasn't the horrible stiffness of the previous morning. Harry and I polished off breakfast, and then we took off, packs on our backs, heading down towards the village. I tried to get myself back into the frame of mind that got me to the UK in the first place; depressed because Janine had dumped me, sure there wasn't any hope for me, doubting myself and my career, irritable…and I just couldn't do it. Every time I thought about something crappy that Janine did I remembered how Melody made everything better, and actually I was happy that I couldn't even _remember_ a lot of the things that Janine did.

"It's not working, Harry."

"What's not working?" He looked at me oddly. "What are you talking about?"

"Ron's cover story. I'm trying to remember how I was when I got here, well, not here here, you know what I mean. I keep thinking of all of the good things that Melody's done and I can't…" Harry stopped walking, and it took me a moment to realize, so I walked back over to him. "What?"

"Think about what would happen if Melody left you." Harry looked at me seriously. "Or worse."

That hit me like a ton of bricks. "Oh fuck me."

Harry smiled and chucked me on the arm. "There, think of that when the time comes. Now come on, it's only over that hill."

That night since we'd effectively established our cover story Harry decided to light a campfire; camping with a wizard definitely had its advantages, as one quick spell with the wand and the campfire was roaring wonderfully. I watched a log start to catch fire and then remembered what Harry had said, that outside the tent we were Muggles.

"Hey, aren't you supposed to not use, um, you know outside the tent?"

"Muggle repelling-spell. The radius isn't that large, but large enough. Ok, ready to go over everything again?"

"Good grief. Sure. You should have been a teacher, Harry. I think I've got it all memorized by now."

Harry shook his head at me. "Kind of the point, isn't it? Besides, Ron often finds things on the third or fourth go-round that we've missed. You tell me this time."

I sighed and shook my head. "Fine. Village has about 600 people in it if you count cats and dogs, there's really only a pub and the post there. Oh, a small school and another shop that sells pretty much everything. Most of the people there work in the fishing industry, so either they're back every day or gone for weeks at a time. You couldn't detect anything with your sneakoscope and didn't see anything that would make you believe that anyone magical lives there or used to live there. Since the house that burned down is out of the way most people don't know anything about it except for the one old guy who finally started talking after the third round of drinks, and he said his father helped build the place in the fifties because the house that was on the property before fell down. Other than…" _Wait a fucking second. The fifties. The house was built in the fifties._

"What is it, Hank?" Harry leaned forward. "You look like you just thought of something."

"When I worked with Draco Malfoy a couple of years ago everything centered on land and houses. You know, the WLF trying to steal Muggle land. A lot of the houses on the land that the wizards lost were built in the fifties, after the war. The Muggle war, World War two. The Muggles built new houses because of the bombings and maybe this is the same thing. We never looked at Ireland because, well, we didn't need to. Harry, maybe this is the same thing, except instead of changing the Muggles' memory they just burned the place down, but that doesn't make any sense. Why would they do that? Just to piss off the Muggles? They'd have to build a whole new house, and it would be obvious to the Muggles that someone had moved in. What happened to the family that used to live there? I know you told me but I can't remember."

"They left years ago, but nobody could tell us why. And nobody said anything about why the house was abandoned, either. Hank, I think you've hit on something. It's as good a place to start as anything." Harry looked excited, and then his face fell a bit. "Malfoy knows more about this than anybody else, doesn't he?"

"I guess. I know he has a ton of books and he did almost all of the research, plus he talked to a lot of people. I really just helped him compile it, actually."

I watched the flames flicker across Harry's glasses as he sat and watched the fire. "Not really what I wanted to do, but can't be helped. We need to tell Ron that he has to talk to Malfoy."

I know I didn't mind, but it was obvious that Harry wasn't looking forward to it at all. I knew some things about Draco's past, I'd heard the stories, and how he was horrible, downright evil to Harry, Ron and Hermione when they were at school. I had a hard time reconciling the Draco Malfoy that I knew with the stories of Draco Malfoy at Hogwarts. I wasn't sure what to say to Harry, but it was out of my mouth before I could stop myself. "Harry, Draco once told me that he's not the same person he was back then, that he hopes we've all changed from the people we were, that we've grown up. How do you do it?"

Harry sat in front of the fire quietly, and I noticed that his right leg was bouncing up and down slightly. "Time. It's taken a lot of time. When he was up before the Wizangamot, right after the war, after everything started going back to normal I asked Kingsley to let me talk to him. When I went to where they were holding him, I was…I don't know what I was. He was different. Said it was like everything he knew was a lie, and that he realized everything he'd ever done was wrong. I came the closest I've ever come since the war to actually wanting to kill someone, right there. Why should I believe him? I knew that since I'd won out over Voldemort that I'd get off easy. I was a _hero_. The thing that stopped me was that when I looked into his eyes I saw that he _wanted_ me to do it. I realized that if I did it I'd be no better than the Death Eaters, justifying killing someone because it was the right thing to do in some twisted way of thinking. I kept seeing him up in the Astronomy tower, the night Dumbledore died, and I knew he couldn't do it. I knew then, but I buried it." He reached down, grabbed his bottle of beer and took a large drink. "People don't understand, they can't really, but I do. He was put on this path by his father, trapped, no way out, exactly the same way that I was, just on a different side. Nobody should have to go through that, so we started talking. I don't think he believed I wasn't just trying to soften him up before I killed him. It's taken a long time, but we've managed to…well, I don't know what you would call it. He does a lot that nobody knows, charity work. Never takes any credit. I think in his own way he's trying to make up for all of the horrible things his family has done over the years. What they did to Hermione…" Harry shuddered and looked away. "Ron's the one that…he's managed to deal with it all some way. He's the one who said that Malfoy should work unofficially for the Aurors, that Malfoy has connections and a name recognition that will get him into places that we'd never be able to go. 'He's our Snape, Harry.' That's how he explained it to me, and it makes sense. Doesn't make it easier. I'll never forget what happened, but I can forgive. Up to a point."

_Holy shit._ I had no idea what to say after that, but then something popped into my head, a memory. "Harry, I don't get it. Ron doesn't act like he's the one who suggested that Draco work for the Aurors or the Ministry. When Draco spoke for me in front of the Wizangamot…well…"

Harry nodded. "I know. He doesn't like Malfoy at all, but he said that he's useful. Who's the best player you know at wizard's chess, Hank? Ron. We see something in front of us, but Ron's thinking five moves ahead and what your next five moves will be. I've given up trying to figure it out, I just let Ron put a plan together and go with it."

Later that night after we'd retired to the tent Harry sent off a message by using one of the cabinets in the kitchen area, saying that it worked something like the vanishing cabinet, and of course I wasn't sure what the hell he meant, so Harry gave me the basics. He also told me about Draco and the vanishing cabinet, and once he'd started I remembered the story and what happened afterwards, but there was no way I was going to interrupt him.

I figured there'd been enough recounting of painful stories, so I took a look at my watch, stretched my legs and announced I was going to bed. Sure, I probably should have sat there and talked about things with Harry, I know Melody would have been angry with me for going to bed, but at some point and time there's just too much talk, too much out in the open and it's time to just put a cap on things and change the subject or do something altogether different. I figured I'd gauge things in the morning and go from there.

* * *

The next morning was cold and rainy, as well as the next and the next. We went into the village several times but we hadn't really found out anything. Well, I take that back. We did find out that one of the waitresses was married but sleeping with the cook, that I could buy cigarettes in the shop and smoke them without getting yelled at by Melody and that Harry and I are slobs. By the fifth day of staying in the tent the place reminded me of my college dorm room; clothes everywhere in piles, socks, empty teacups and beer bottles, a bottle half-full of water that was turned into an improvised ashtray and a sink full of dirty dishes. The fact that Malfoy was going to be involved somehow, the recounting of the stories, the eventual telling of my cover story to the regulars at the pub and the fact that classes started at Hogwarts the following day made me and Harry irritable. I tried to hide it by reading a lot and smoking, and Harry? Harry didn't say a whole lot. He read reports, looked at maps and generally just kept to himself. So much for an exciting Auror mission. Instead of the excitement I expected it was a colossal exercise in patience. I should have known it would have been like that but somehow I had a different picture in my head.

Finally on the morning of the sixth of September, after examining the burnt out house and walking around the area looking for clues for the millionth time Harry got a note when we returned back to the tent. At that point I didn't even bother to ask if there was any Auror mail, I just flopped down on the bed and tried writing a letter to Melody, but everything sounded like I was whining so I lit it on fire and threw it out of the tent. I lit up a cigarette and Harry looked over at me, irritated. He usually didn't mind the smoke, as he did something with his wand to make it all get sucked into a little, shit, I don't know, negative energy sphere thing that sucked all the smoke into one spot where it congregated and eventually turned into a solid little ball that I threw out of the tent before I went to bed. This time, though, he hadn't done the spell and the smoke went over towards him.

He started looking through the mail and gave me hell without even looking at me. "Merlin's pants, Hank. If you don't…"

"Sorry, you didn't do the…" I noticed Harry was smiling as he was reading a letter. "What's up?"

"Better put that out and help me clean. We've been called back."


	5. The Finnegan Effect

Chapter 5: The Finnegan Effect

The meeting with Robards was interesting, to say the least. Terry Boot wasn't in attendance this time, just Robards, Ron, Harry and, surprisingly, Edith. After Harry and I gave our report, Ron filled us in. He'd contacted Malfoy about the land idea and Malfoy was off and running with the research; Edith had traced ownership of the land to a family named Williams, but they hadn't lived on the land in years. The Williams family had rented out the property for the last fifteen years or so and a series of tenants had lived at the place, but only for short time periods, usually never staying as long as the lease indicated.

I looked over to Edith. "How did you find all that out?"

"Your book, Professor. I followed your genealogy book." She shrugged. "The part about using property records to find family. I've been struggling to find out more on the Williams family, but Mr. Malfoy is working on that at the moment."

_Holy shit, my book was actually useful, not in the way I'd intended, well, sort of, but…damn._ "Wow. So now what? What's next?"

Robards pointed a quill at Harry and me. "You two get turned back to normal, or usual I should say, and then it's back to work. Boyd you'll head back to Hogwarts and Potter has some things to do here. Secrecy clause is still in effect, got that?"

_Shit. There went my plan for surprising Melody; looking like mountain man was too good to pass up._ "Um, before that, can I go see…"

Robards shook his head. "Merlin's snot rag, it's the same every time. 'Oh I look all different, I'm going to go play a game with my spouse or whatever.' I suppose. Potter, have you told him about the Finnegan effect?"

_The Finnegan effect?_ I looked over to Harry, but Ron was laughing. "What is it, Ron?"

"Had to make a modification in the disguise spells. Seamus used to not report in right away and try and get off with his ex-girlfriends. Actually I'm not sure they were girlfriends, but you know what I mean. As soon as you, well, you know the spells wear off. So we changed things to add a little bit of a kicker. If you don't have Beatrix or one of hers undo the spells it turns your skin green for a day or so if the spells are deactivated, uh, that way."

"Christ, we got so many complaints from women we had to do it or be sued." Robards leaned back in his chair. "Of course we didn't tell Finnegan the first time, so when he showed up looking like a frog I knew what happened. Fine, get back here in an hour or so and we'll change you back. Any longer than that and I'm sending them out after you. Ok, Potter, Boyd, get out of here. Edith, get me that report and Weasley if you don't get your feet off of my goddamned desk I'm going to curse them off."

* * *

I'd been to the _Witch Weekly _offices a few times before that, as Melody liked to work from home, but as her job duties had expanded over the years she'd been forced to work at the office for most of the time. As I entered the reception area I still didn't have a plan on what I would do exactly, but I figured I could wing it. When I got to the reception desk I didn't recognize the witch working, a good sign.

"May I help you, uh, sir?" The young witch looked at me strangely.

"Yes. I want to see that woman who writes the Muggle column. I have a complaint."

This wasn't what the receptionist was expecting. She seemed nervous. "Uh, sir, if I may, wouldn't a letter be…"

"Merlin, no! Where's her office?" I took a step towards the door behind the desk and the receptionist stood up and blocked my way.

"If you'll have a seat, sir, I'll let her know." She pointed to one of the chairs next to the big plants that stood all around the room. "Please, have a seat."

I sat down, moved one of the branches from the giant plant out of the way and picked up a recent copy of _Witch Weekly_ from the table that was placed in front of the chairs. I flipped through it until I found Melody's column and scanned it quickly. The article was about meeting the Muggle parents of your significant other, so I figured that was my best bet.

A few minutes later Melody came through the door, wearing one of my Molly Weasley jumpers and she looked confused. I stood up, folded the magazine back to her column and just pointed at it. I went to say something but realized that while I looked different my voice was the same. _Shit. Now what?_ Time to see if I could fake an accent. "This is rubbish!"

Melody's face and demeanor changed, and suddenly I recalled how she used to stand up to reporters when she was the Press Secretary for the Holyhead Harpies. "Sir, I understand that my column may be seen as somewhat controversial in some circles, and you are entitled to your own opinion…"

I walked over closer to her, not knowing what she would do, but as always she stood her ground. "What color are yer knickers today?"

"Pardon me?" Her face darkened and I knew that look all too well, the one that said 'if you don't watch it you're really going to get an earful.' She took a step forward. "That is none of your business."

I couldn't take it any longer, so I reverted to my normal voice. "You know I like the little black ones. Especially the ones with the bow in front."

She stared at me and then took a step forward. "Hank? Is that you?"

"Yeah, it's me. What do you think? Should I keep it?"

She punched me in the arm and then threw her arms around me. "Merlin, Hank. You really had me…" She held me at arm's length. "When did you get in? How long have you been back?"

"Just now, well, I had to have a meeting first, but just now. Want to go to lunch?"

She shook her head. "Not with you looking like that. You look and smell horrible. When was the last time you bathed?" She leaned in, smelled my jacket and then looked up at me. "Have you been smoking?"

_Shit._ "Um, yeah, I have. Part of the disguise. I'm not sure when the last time I took a shower…"

Melody pulled me into a hug again. "Sod it. Come back as my Hank, not this…whatever you call it, and we'll go to lunch. I have a lot to tell you."

When I arrived back at the _Witch Weekly_ offices I looked mostly like myself as usual, but I'd kept the clothes. After that long I'd actually liked the old jeans, hiking boots, sweater and the jacket; they made me feel like I was some sort of explorer. Luckily Beatrix also had a spell that cleaned the clothes instantly while I was wearing them, thank Merlin. The receptionist was waiting for me this time, and I made a mental note to do something nice for her, as she wasn't very happy to see me. I figured she couldn't really say anything as Melody was an editor, but I felt bad about it nonetheless. She looked up, saw me and just waved me through and went back to her book. Definitely had to do something nice for the receptionist.

When I found my way over to Melody's office I smelled it before I opened the door; Chinese food. I didn't bother knocking so when I opened the door Melody was slurping a noodle out a bowl, and my sudden entrance surprised her enough that several noodles fell directly onto her chest.

"Oh, nicely done, Hank. Thanks." She put down her chopsticks, cleaned up the stain as best she could with a wand and shook her head at me. "Knocking? This is my office, you know. I don't have an assistant to tell me I have visitors like some people we know."

I walked over to her desk, gave her a kiss and realized she was, as usual, teasing me. She pushed a couple of takeaway cartons over to me, handed me a pair of chopsticks and took up her wand again. She closed the door, did another spell and then looked at me intently. "Ok, where to start? First, did you get my letter?"

I pulled a visitor's chair over to her desk and sat down. "Yes, I did. Thank you, I needed that. Read it quite a few times when it was…well it wasn't all chocolate frogs and butterbeer, that's for sure."

"I'm glad you liked it, I felt terrible." She sat her carton on her desk. "Now that the mushy part is out of the way, do you want to go first or should I? Why don't you eat and I'll fill you in."

It sounded good to me so I tucked into my sweet & sour chicken. I watched as she reached into her desk and pulled out a little notepad and sat it down, flipping the pages that were tucked behind until she reached the page she was looking for.

"Ok. After you left I got a note from Edith, I told you about that in the letter, and we met for lunch. She'd bought your books and had some questions for me, so we ended up having lunch in your little office at the Ministry. I know you had it painted but it still smells horrible. I expected she'd ask me about _Useless_, but it was the textbook, specifically your section on Muggle wars that she was interested in. I had to admit to her that I really didn't know too much about that, your students would probably be much better resources than I am. I gave her Peter Sawgrass' name, as I remembered you telling me he was in Slytherin. Oh, did you tell me she used to be in Slytherin or did she? Can't recall. She said that she would have to check things over with the Aurors but that sounded like a good place to start. The rest of the time, well…"

I finished a bite very quickly. "Well what?"

"We really just talked about Spit, how he's doing, and she asked me what it was like being married to a man who can't really do anything magical. That's how I found out why you have an assistant, as I know all too well you can't do basic things that most wizards can do."

_Hey!_ "I thought…"

"Don't worry, I wouldn't trade you in. I might have right before you left, but let's forget about that. Still might, though, those clothes really aren't you. Please tell me they did some sort of cleansing spell on you." She shook her head. "Don't you want to know who's been filling in for you at Hogwarts?"

"Hell, yes! Please tell me it was Headmaster Titus, Gavin's read my textbook and…"

She interrupted me as I could tell she couldn't wait. Her face was beaming. "Arthur Weasley. He's been overjoyed, back at Hogwarts, talking about Muggle things. I did hear that class has been rather, um, unusual, but you should be able to pick up easily where he's left off."

_Holy crap, that was going to be interesting. I had a feeling I'd be starting at the beginning of the lesson plans, as I could see Arthur spending all day talking about plugs and toasters. _"How's Lavinia?"

"She's good, asked a few questions about why you were gone but I told her you were with Harry and that was enough for her. She spoils the puppy rotten, feeding him from the table, so we had to have a little talk. Still going over to the Potter's to help out with the boys; I don't think anything could stop her from doing that. Other than that she was excited to get back to Hogwarts and see Willy." She raised her eyebrows. "Oh, almost forgot, Hank. Edith asked me about our honeymoon."

"What? That's kind of private." Then I realized what she was talking about. "The woman at the hotel, the one in the painting?"

Melody nodded. "Yes, Aunt Charlotte Malfoi. I guess the name was too much of a coincidence for her, so she asked me if I would write a letter of introduction to Draco Malfoy for her. I can't believe I did it, but I actually wrote a letter to Draco; Edith sent it off with hers. Haven't heard anything back on that, so I don't know if worked or not. You might ask her later. Oh, speaking of later, when are you going back to Hogwarts?"

"Tomorrow morning." I straightened my back. "All those nights sleeping on a camp bed have ruined my back. That's not the only reason, though. Your letter said you'd make things up to me, so I intend on cashing in."

"Henry Boyd, you are terrible. And for your information the answer is blue."

_Blue? What the hell?_ "What are you talking about? What's blue?"

"You asked me what color knickers I'm wearing today, remember?"

* * *

I spent the rest of the day at Colony House, doing everything I could to try to prepare for my Muggle Studies classes. I went over the lesson plans and compressed a few activities. It wasn't that bad, I had just missed the first four days of classes, nothing I couldn't overcome. The thing that I wasn't sure of, though, was how many students I would have for seventh year Muggle Studies. The number had been inching up since I arrived at Hogwarts, but it was still the smallest student population of any of my classes. Not too many kids wanted to go into the Muggle NEWT, as it, well, it was Muggle Studies. I realized that it wasn't DADA or Transfiguration or Charms. At least it wasn't History of Magic, there had only been four students who took that NEWT the entire time I'd been teaching at Hogwarts. After I'd put on some music I put my feet up on my desk and decided to just rest my eyes for a bit. I hadn't lied to Melody, that cot was awful to sleep on. I don't know how Harry managed it, my back was killing me.

The next thing I knew Melody was shaking me and it was dark outside. "What? Oh, hey. Sorry, must have crashed out. I told you that bed was horrible."

"Come on, you. Let's go to bed."

I looked at my watch. "Mel, it's six-thirty, I don't want to go to sleep already."

She shook her head at me. "Half six, Hank, half six. And who said anything about going to sleep?"

I didn't need to be asked a second time, and I followed her into the bedroom. I gave her that very nice, slow kiss that I'd been thinking about ever since I'd received her letter, and things were going along great until she took off my light jacket.

"Henry! What are those!"

_Those? What the hell was she talking about?_ "What…"

'These."

I felt her reach around my back and the slight tug where the Walther was still encased in its holster. _Shit_. "Protection. I got some, um, special training before I went with Harry, I told you that. Guess I forgot to turn them in, they're enchanted or something, I can't really feel them unless I really think about them."

"I don't want them in the house. Take them off right now, and you're taking them back to the Ministry as soon as possible. They're dangerous! I've seen all those movies, Hank. I know what they do and how easily…"

"Ok, ok, calm down. It's not like that. I'll take them back, ok? Ok?" I took the holsters off and sat them on my wardrobe. "There. They're off now, ok?"

She looked at me sideways, and I knew she still wasn't convinced. "I think they have some spell on them that I can't use them unless it's in certain situations or something. They were a last resort. Hey, Harry had his wand, what did you expect me to do? Throw rocks?"

I felt her arms around me again and I looked down to her smiling face. "I expected you to be smarter than that. Ok, enough, I'm not repeating what happened before you left. Now let's just see how much you actually missed me while you were out playing Auror."

* * *

I arrived early at Hogwarts that day, and I already knew that actual classroom instruction would be impossible, so I was ready for the questions. Before breakfast I stopped by Headmaster Titus' room, and Gavin, as always, was great about things. I thanked him for understanding about my absence, but he assured me things were fine. He also told me that he'd spoken to Arthur Weasley about being able to fill in when needed, as Robards had contacted him that my "services" might be required at a later date. _Wonderful. More camping and walking around the boonies._ Gavin said that he'd told the students that I had a previous engagement that required my services and had left it at that, but there were several rumors floating about that I would need to dispel when I got to my classroom. His personal favorite was that my magical abilities had finally come through and that since it had been bottled up for years I'd gone crazy and was under the care of specialists.

When I went down to breakfast I sat down between Neville and Cho, as usual, and didn't say anything except "Can you pass the sugar, please?"

"Hank! You're back!" Neville clapped me on the back. "Glad to see you. So where were you? Titus said you had something that couldn't be rescheduled."

"And the rumors, Hank" Cho smiled at me. "Good to see you again, by the way. Oh, and before I forget Mike says that he found that album of yours."

"Good to be back, Cho. And tell your husband that until I actually get the record back he's not getting anything else. I know how he was in college." I took a sip of tea. "So what's your favorite rumor? Titus told me the one about my magic building up until I went loony."

"Well." Neville leaned forward. "My personal favorite is that you decided to take some time off and explore how Muggles live in South America and that you'd been kidnapped by headhunters."

Cho shook her head. "Too far-fetched. I like the one that said you bought a fancy car and are in jail because you were going too fast."

"That's actually plausible." I laughed, and then I realized that I would have to come up with something. "Ok, seriously, though, I can't say anything. Sorry. All I can tell you is that I'm helping the Ministry with some Muggle things."

Neville cocked his head slightly. "The Ministry or the Aurors? All right, enough of that. We're glad you're back and I believe your students will be as well. Arthur…"

"Oh shit, that's right." I laughed. "How bad is it?"

"I heard he had the first years take apart a carbpuator." Cho shook her head.

"A what? Do you mean carburetor? Oh man, this is going to be fun." I looked around and didn't see Arthur anywhere. "Is he here?'

Neville shook his head. "He usually doesn't have breakfast here. I don't think Molly would let him; she's got him on a special diet. Packs his lunch for him every day, though I did see him sneak a few things the other day."

The owls started arriving, streaming through the windows, and two landed in front of me. Luckily I recognized one. "Hello, Calliope, how are you?" I stroked her feathers and as always she let me gently take the letter from her. The other owl, a small and slightly scrawny one nipped me when I removed the note. After looking at Calliope's note I recognized Melody's handwriting, and the other letter I wasn't sure. I figured I'd save Melody's note for last, best for last, and opened the other note. Surprisingly it was from Draco, and I scanned the letter quickly. Long and short of it was that he was working with Edith and thought there might be something to my idea about the land in Ireland, but he wanted to meet with me to make sure. Unfortunately I forgot to engage my brain and spoke before thinking yet again. "I'll be damned."

"Good news, Hank? Neville munched on a piece of toast.

"Not sure." I tried to figure out whether or not to say anything, if I could say anything, and I guessed that everyone knew that I'd worked with Draco on Muggle things before so it wasn't anything new. "I need to have Draco Malfoy come to Hogwarts for a meeting."

Neville sighed and shook his head. "Sorry, Hank. Malfoy's not allowed at Hogwarts. Part of his agreement with the Ministry."

_Whoa._ "So when his son comes to Hogwarts…"

"He won't be allowed to come onto the grounds."

Neville looked away, and I could tell the whole subject was uncomfortable for him. I figured I'd change the subject quickly. "Has the Quidditch schedule been set yet? Oh, and how did the sorting go?"

* * *

My fourth years were the first class of the day, so I left breakfast a little early to prepare. I wasn't sure how Lavinia would react, seeing me suddenly in class, but I hoped things wouldn't be embarrassing for her. Since she'd come to live with Melody and me during the school year we'd decided that at school she should act just like any other student as I would be treating her like the rest of my pupils. It had worked out pretty well except for a couple of slip-ups, but overall we were both pretty happy about the way it had turned out so far.

As the students started filing into the classroom I realized that I hadn't seen the class roster yet, so I sat down and looked through my desk. Sure enough, there it was, along with tick marks next to names as Arthur had taken attendance each day. I'd have to buy him something to thank him; actually I really needed to spend a weekend over at The Burrow working on the Anglia to thank him. I looked through the roster and realized that I still had a lot of students in this year, twenty to be exact, a rather large number for fourth year. Usually I had large amounts of students in years one through three, then in the fourth year students dropped Muggle Studies in preparation for the OWL levels, even though the tests were given in the fifth year.

"Professor Muggle! You're back!" Lavinia sat down, smiling at me. "Did you just get back? Have you talked to Melody? Spit is…" She stopped suddenly and realized that she had probably said too much. I saw her face turn a little red, but then Willy came in and sat down next to her. As the students were filing in I just mouthed "later" to her, and she nodded.

When everyone was seated I watched them take out their books and skip pages until they found their place, obviously where Arthur had left off. I knew I'd really have to help with the Anglia, as Arthur had actually followed my lesson plan at least with this class. "Right. You can go ahead and close your books, we won't need them today. Let's get the question you're all dying to know out of the way. The Ministry asked if I could help them with some of the Muggle procedures, how the Aurors deal with Muggles on occasion. I had meetings with them and…" _Fuck. How would I explain that away, didn't have to be gone that long?_ "…um, one of the meetings was in another country. That's all I can tell you, and if I say anything else or tell you anything else we'll all be in Azkaban. Since that won't be fun for anyone, why don't you fill me in on what you've covered so far?"

Of course they didn't want to do that, they wanted to talk about all of the stories they'd heard explaining why I was absent when classes started. After dispelling all the rumors, and writing most of them down because they were pretty funny, I listened as the fourth years went over what they'd learned so far. Granted, the first few days of class were mostly recap from the prior year, but I did hear that Arthur had spent a large amount of time talking about DVD players. I knew giving him one for Christmas was a bad idea. Sure, the DVD player didn't work and he didn't have a TV, but that didn't faze Arthur Weasley one bit. When the class period was almost ending I walked back to my desk, took out my lesson plan and made another one of my executive decisions.

"Ok, about homework." A few groans went up. "No homework. You were a great class for a substitute professor, so that should be rewarded. See you on Monday."

The rest of the day's classes went well, following the same pattern. I fielded questions, dispelled rumors, assured the first years that they would not have to live like a Muggle for a month in London during the final and dismissed class without giving out assignments to be completed over the weekend. The last class of the day, that was the one I was dreading and looking forward to all at the same time; the seventh years would be interesting, to say the least. I didn't know how many I would have, and I purposely didn't look at the class roster to surprise myself. This was the class that caused all the problems, the class that gave my first book its title, the one that was maddening and rewarding at the same time.

I was at my desk when they started filing in, and I wasn't surprised to see Ruby Smythe-Warring and her Gryffindor boyfriend Carrick Frye. I wasn't sure if they were still dating or not, as the two of them broke up more than, well, anybody I'd ever known, but when they sat together I was pretty sure it was still going on. The rest of the class entered almost in a group, as they were busy talking, but when they saw me they waved and sat down. Obviously the news of my return had spread through the school, so there wasn't the surprise as it was with the fourth years. The surprise was on my part, though, as Franny Ellsworth sat down next to her boyfriend Peter Sawgrass, Liv Wapping got out her textbook and parchment like almost all Ravenclaw students did, but Poesy Phillips sat down and pulled out a bag, setting it in front of her on the desk.

I stood up and walked around my desk, sitting on the front of it as usual. "I know it's quite a shock but I am back. I am surprised to see all of you here, actually. I wasn't sure how many of you would be sitting the NEWTS, and I'm quite happy to see so many of you in class. Ok, let's get this out of the way up front; what do you have in the bag, Poesy?"

"Mr. Weasley said I needed to show you the new items, so you'll be ready for them. Just in case, of course." She smiled broadly at me. "Most of them are pretty harmless, but…"

_Good grief_. _At least George Weasley had the courtesy to give me a heads-up. Who would have known that the horrible things that happened to me in my first year would actually have given Poesy a career path?_ George said that she was one of his best 'researchers' which meant she came up with some of the more ingenious and annoying new items. I wasn't sure why Poesy was in my class, as it was blatantly obvious that she'd be working for George the moment she left Hogwarts. "All right, Poesy, what's on tap this year?"

After the last item had been demonstrated, my ears had returned to normal and the smell had dissipated I sat down at one of the tables across from Liv Wapping. "Miss Phillips, tell George, Mr. Weasley that is, that I appreciate the preview." I looked out at my students. "I'm sure that we won't have any issues like that in this class, as there is a NEWT examination at the end of the year. I don't know how Mr. Weasley, Arthur Weasley, ran the class while I was gone, but I don't use the typical lecture format for seventh year. This is more of a discussion class. I'm going to assign large chunks of reading, and I will expect you to not only know the assigned material but to be able to discuss the lessons, the issues we'll be discussing and be able to support your positions. Now, I think I'd like to hear why y'all have decided to take seventh year Muggle Studies. Carrick, why don't you start us off?"

It was, for the most part, as I expected. Carrick stumbled through his reasons, and I knew the main reason that he was taking my class was because Ruby was taking it, but he did come up with a few valid points. Liv and Ruby thought that it would be good to be more knowledgeable about the Muggle world as there was a chance that they both liked the idea of working in the Muggle departments at the Ministry. Poesy said that George made her, which got a big laugh, but then she went further saying that they had talked, and the potential for adapting Muggle items and concepts to wizarding applications gave them a lot larger product line. I could tell that that Poesy was going to be a force to reckon with at Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes, that was for sure. Franny wasn't as quiet as she used to be in class, and she said that she wanted to be a Healer, and planned on trying to learn as many Muggle healing techniques as possible, that way she could understand even more about medicine than what Wizarding preparation she would receive after Hogwarts. Peter, though, he was the one that really surprised me.

"To prepare for what's coming."

I looked at him oddly. "And what's coming?"

He scratched his ear. "It's been in the papers, if you know how to read between the lines. There's a large anti-Muggle movement happening worldwide. It's not very strong here right now, but it's been gaining in other countries. I plan on working in the Ministry, and I want to have a fully rounded background, especially regarding Muggles. We'll need to know as much as possible to keep them safe, keep the wizarding world secret and fight off whatever eventually happens. You've had some experience with the WLF and that group in the UMS, haven't you, Professor?"

_Sonofabitch._ I didn't know what to say for a moment, so I nodded. The kid was right, as Ron and I had talked about the very same thing right after Hogwarts let out the year before. "Yes, yes I have. That makes sense, Mr. Sawgrass."

Sawgrass' comment had thrown me for a bit, as I didn't expect the conversation to take such a dramatic turn. Before Sawgrass everything had been lighthearted, especially Poesy's reasoning, but now we were onto something different. I wondered if the fact that Edith had contacted Peter had anything to do with it. I knew I probably shouldn't say anything, but I couldn't help myself.

"Ok, you've probably already heard from everyone else why I was gone since none of you asked me. Yes, I was working with the Ministry, the Aurors, on Muggle matters. Sawgrass is right; I'm not going to sugar-coat it. Things are happening out there, and y'all are almost of age. You need to be aware of these things. I plan on covering what's happening out there now, right now, in this class. It won't be the only thing we cover, obviously. Show of hands, how many of you take _The Daily Prophet_?"

Only Sawgrass' hand went up. _Shit. Screw it; I was going to fix that_. "Ok, here's what's going to happen. I'm going to order a subscription to The Prophet for all of you. Peter, since you already have a subscription I'm going to pay for the next round for you. I want y'all to read the paper every day, and I want you to look at topics that affect Muggles, how the wizarding world deals with Muggles and how anti-Muggle groups might react to things. Like I said, it's not the only thing we'll cover, but it's vitally important for everyone these days."

Everyone nodded, and the group seemed very serious until Poesy's hand went up. "Poesy, while I do appreciate your following the rules, since there's only seven of us in here you don't have to raise your hand anymore. What is it?'

"Now that we've got all the gloom and doom out of the way, we're doing Muggle Club and the party again, aren't we?"

"Shit." I laughed, and so did they. "Yes, yes we are. Sit down, Liv. On second thought, just bring the damn book up here."

Liv went to the back bookshelf and brought up the hollowed-out book that I used to pay my swearing fines. The first day back and I hadn't sworn all day, which I thought was pretty good, but leave it to this class to make me swear. I dropped in the two Gnuts and Liv sat the book on the desk. I had a feeling I'd be funding the Hogsmeade Swearing Party throughout the rest of the year, hopefully just not as well as last year when we had to create a second book for the fund. I blamed the first years, second years now, as that class was trying to equal the seventh years' legacy.

As the class left I asked Sawgrass to stay behind for a moment, and it seemed as if he'd expected it as he hadn't put his things away yet. Instead he nodded at Franny and stayed seated. After they'd all left I pointed towards the door, and Peter took out his wand and closed it quietly.

"I'm guessing you know why I asked you to stay behind. Can you tell me about it?"

He nodded. "I got a letter from a woman named Edith who said she was your assistant at the Ministry. Since the letter had the official Auror seal on it I knew something was up. She wanted to know about what we'd covered before, the unit we did on how the Muggles took land that used to belong to wizards during World War Two. I explained as much as I could in a letter, but it was just too much to write so Franny and I met her for lunch one day." When I adjusted my glasses and looked at him, he shrugged. "Hey, it was a way to take out Franny and not have to pay for it. She had a copy of our textbook, and I brought along my notes and my papers. Franny and I gave her a little lesson, boiled down everything that we'd gone over. Edith said that she couldn't really tell us why she was asking, made us sign some papers saying that we wouldn't talk to anyone but you about it, so I figured it has to do with the anti-Muggle movement. And when Arthur Weasley was here on the first day instead of you?" He shrugged. "It doesn't take a Slytherin to figure out that was cover story, the whole Auror procedures bit."

"Damn, Peter. You're right. I'm not going to give you any bullshit, and I'm not going to tell you exactly what's going on, either. I appreciate your cooperation. It's also good to know that the unit made such a good impression, that you retained the lessons I think we all learned about that topic.

Peter winced, and then sighed. "Only one problem, though, Franny did not like your assistant. Took me a few days to convince her that I didn't have a thing for Edith. Does it ever get any easier, Professor?'

I laughed. "Not really."

* * *

I decided that before supper started I'd make a stop in the Hufflepuff common room, but before that I had to see one of my favorite people at Hogwarts. I hadn't taken more than three steps into the kitchen when Nonky arrived at my side.

"Professor Hank, Nonky is happy to see you! Nonky was worried when you weren't here the first day, Nonky was."

I looked down at him, wearing another of my old band t-shirts that Melody liked giving him. I figured it served a dual purpose, as Nonky got new clothes and Melody got to thin out my t-shirt drawer. "It's ok, Nonky, just had some things to do. I'm glad to be back. Oh, I have to warn you about something; right before classes I got Melody a dog. That's not a problem, is it?"

He gave me a very apprehensive look and his ears drooped. "Is it a big dog? Nonky doesn't like big dogs."

"No, it's just a puppy now, but even when he's full grown he won't get very big, maybe just up to your waist."

Nonky's ears returned to their normal position. "That's' good, Professor Hank, that's good. Is Professor Hank hungry?"

I laughed. If I ate every time Nonky tried to feed me I would weigh four hundred pounds. "I think I can wait until later. I'd better go see the new Hufflepuff students."

I stroked the peach and then realized that I didn't know the Common Room password, as I hadn't set it when the term started as I was out playing Auror, as Melody liked to say. I didn't know what do to. There I was, the Head of Hufflepuff house, and I couldn't even get into my own Common Room. Luckily I didn't have to wait too long as Willy Smythe and two of his buddies were walking my way.

"Um, Willy, can you tell me the password?

He looked at me very seriously. "Passwords are to be kept private, Professor." Then he and his buddies started cracking up laughing. "Sorry, Professor. It's 'sparkplug.' Mr. Weasley said you'd appreciate it."

After I followed Wily into the Common Room it was the usual "Hello, I'm your Head of House, don't do anything stupid and we'll have a good year" speech that I'd done before, so it wasn't too bad. I met all of the first years that I didn't have in Muggle Studies, had a quick meeting with the Quidditch team and the prefects, and then I needed to head to supper. I knew that after eating I was going to retire early and call it a night. Yes, I'd spent last night at home, and it was a rather good night, but I didn't get much sleep.


	6. Do These Smell Bad?

**Chapter 6: Do These Smell Bad?**

The next few weeks were wonderfully normal. Well, normal for Hogwarts. I'd had to reprimand two Hufflepuff boys for trying to sneak into the Ravenclaw Common Room to do some prank that involved some of George's products, Carrick and Ruby weren't speaking again, I'd fought off a cold for a few days but eventually succumbed and Nonky went overboard on taking care of me the one day that I actually spent in bed. Classes, though, were going well. I'd almost forgotten about all of the craziness of playing Auror with Harry when I received a letter one morning from Draco Malfoy, asking if I could meet him at his house on Saturday. I knew that Titus wouldn't mind, that all I had to say was that it was "Auror stuff" and he'd acquiesce, but I really wasn't looking forward to it. I was looking forward to talking with Draco, but the fact that I had a meeting with him meant that I was going to get sucked back into all of the crap yet again.

I went off on my rounds the Friday before my meeting with Draco, and to be honest I really wasn't paying much attention. Since I couldn't do _lumos_ with my wand I went down the halls with my flashlight, or torch as I was always reminded by my Muggleborn students, and halfheartedly flicked the beam of light back and forth. As I was coming around a corner I heard quiet voices; it was much too late to be out in the halls, and whoever was out and about was going to be in trouble. Before I could say anything I heard a bit of the conversation and stopped.

"My mum would go mental, Petey. We have to wait until school is over."

_Franny Ellsworth, and she was obviously talking to Peter Sawgrass. She calls him Petey? I didn't really need to know that._

"I know, Fran, but I don't want to wait. I'm of age now, and you will be before the Christmas holiday. We could do it then."

_Oh shit. I had a feeling I knew what they were talking about._ I started walking again, and made sure to shine my light around the corner. "Mr. Sawgrass, Miss Ellsworth? You do realize that…"

"I'm sorry, Professor. We won't do it again." Peter looked at me and I noticed he was holding Franny's hand.

I looked at the two of them. _What to do?_ "Um, well ok. Get back to your houses. And if anyone catches you out again I'll put you in detention until…get out of here." They started walking in opposite directions and I couldn't help myself. "Mr. Sawgrass? A moment, please?"

Peter and Franny looked at each other for a moment, and then Peter walked over to me. "Yes, Professor?"

"Peter, I'm not going to lie, I overheard some of what you and Franny were talking about. Now, hold on, before you say anything, I'm not going to tell you what you can and cannot do. You're my student; I'm not your father. I know you're of age and Franny will be soon, so what you do is your own business. But I highly recommend finishing out the year before you do anything. Will you promise me that?"

Peter looked down at his shoes. "Um, I can't really…"

"You're right. That's not fair. Just realize, though, that even if that happened nothing would change at Hogwarts. We don't have married housing. You would both have to live in your houses. Don't you want your family there when you get married?"

Peter's face looked up at me and I could tell that I had said exactly the wrong thing. "My family?" The word 'family' came out almost as a curse. "My family is a bad joke, Professor. Mum's been dead for years, and Dad doesn't talk to me much except to say that I should date a pureblood. No _mudblood_ daughter-in-law for him. When he sobers up he's a little better, but that never really happens."

_Shit._ "I'm sorry, Peter, I didn't know."

"I know you care, Professor Muggle, but you don't know everything. Do you know why I did so well on the unit about Muggles taking over wizarding land? Do you? It's because my family lost a lot of land and money. Dad's sold off what he could to keep the house, and I'm pretty sure he's drank what money we have left. I need to get back that land so Franny and I can have something. And I'm not inviting him, we're…"

I put my hand on his shoulder. "Peter, I'm sorry. Listen, I'm meeting with Draco Malfoy tomorrow and he knows more about the subject than anyone I know. If you want I can ask for his help. I'll have to say who it's for, obviously, but that will stay between us. Just drop off any details in the morning, send it by owl." I took a look at him and made the offer before I could even think what Melody would say. "Peter, if you don't want to go home for the holidays, I might be able to help you out. Don't answer yet, but think about it, ok?"

He nodded and walked off towards Slytherin house. I leaned against the wall and took several deep breaths. The meeting with Draco was shaping up to be very interesting.

* * *

Saturday morning at breakfast I did receive an owl from Sawgrass, but I made no indication that it was from him; I didn't look at him, I just put the note in my pocket. Neville gave me a bit of a hard time about being so quiet, but I just said I had a meeting outside of Hogwarts and he left it at that. I was happy to not have to discuss it any further, and after making my way to Titus' office I spoke with him briefly and used the Floo.

Arriving via Floo to Malfoy Manor was, um, weird. I expected to arrive in the nice drawing room, sitting room, lounge or whatever you call it, but instead I ended up in a dark, cobweb-filled room. At least the sun was out, so some light filtered in through the dark, heavy drapes, and I made my way out in to the hallway which carried the same sense of overpowering gloom as the room. I tried to remember my last visit in the Manor, how to make my way back to the "new wing" but after a good fifteen minutes I realized I was hopelessly lost. _Fuck_. Not knowing what else to do I made my way towards a large staircase, sat down and looked down another gloomy hallway.

"Hello? Is anybody home? Draco? Anybody?"

Nobody answered me. _Sonovabitch_. I looked at my watch and realized that I was a half-hour late for my meeting with Draco.

The sudden pop of Apparition startled me, and soon the grumpy visage of an ancient house elf looked at me. An ancient house elf wearing an old Slytherin jumper. Shit, I should have thought about that earlier, if I could only remember…

"How can Blink serve Master Malfoy's guest?"

_Blink, that was it. The little blighter that burned my clothes when I was hiding out at Malfoy Manor years ago._ "Blink, you have no idea how happy I am to see you. I'm supposed to have a meeting with your master, but the Floo put me someplace weird. Can you take me to him?"

The old house elf nodded, and I followed him through a maze of gloomy hallways until we finally reached the new wing. He opened the door, and I saw Astoria sitting on the floor playing with Scorpius. Hearing the door open she looked up at me and smiled.

"Professor Boyd, how good to see you again."

Before she could say another word Scorpius tottered towards his mother, lost his balance and landed on his butt, causing him to erupt into a very loud squall. Astoria picked him up, patted his back and stood up. "It's almost nap time. Draco is in the library." Noticing Blink standing several steps behind me her face changed expression quickly. "Oh, the Floo! I'm so sorry; our normal one has been having difficulties. Where did you arrive?"

"Um..." I looked back towards Blink.

"Professor Muggle arrived in Mistress Narcissa's study."

"I am so sorry, Professor. Please accept my apologies." Astoria had finally calmed Scorpius down, which enabled us to talk in normal tones.

"He's getting big, isn't he?" I looked at Scorpius, and even though I knew all of the things that had happened, it made me sad to think that Draco would never visit him at Hogwarts.

"Yes, and I think we'll get an early start on that nap."

Astoria left the room and I took a deep breath. For some reason I was nervous seeing Draco this time; I assumed it had to be the conversation I'd had with Harry when I was playing Auror.

Draco was reading at his desk when I entered the library, looked at the clock and smirked at me.

"The Floo put me in your mother's study."

The smirk changed instantly to an expression of embarrassment. "The Floo! I'm so sorry. Please, have a seat. Tea?"

"Actually I could use something a bit stronger." _Definitely stronger than tea after being lost in the old part of Malfoy Manor._

Draco waved his wand and a bottle came over to the desk. "I suppose it wouldn't hurt to have a bit of spiked coffee, then." Blink appeared before even being summoned, and shortly we both had our substantially improved coffees. "Now then, Professor, I have some developments concerning my research. The situation in Ireland during the Muggle war mirrored Britain's predicament; what to do with land that the Muggles were encroaching upon due to their combatants' weapons? Land was ceded to the Muggles, sometimes with documentation, sometimes without. We are lucky that the parcel in question was documented. The documentation, however, still poses interesting questions."

"Like what?" I took a sip of coffee and sighed contentedly at the small sting of the whiskey.

"Before the last wizarding owner ceded the land to the Muggles the property changed hands many, many times. The trail was hard to track down, as even wizarding records were not the best kept when going that far back into the register, but I think I have discovered the reason why. All of the wizarding owners were married women, and they married Muggles."

_Muggles?_ "So let me get this straight, the land passed down or was sold to witches who had married Muggles?"

"Yes. Quite unusual." Draco sat back and crossed his legs. "Even more unusual was the maiden name of the earliest owner on record, Charlotte Pénitence. That name does not appear on any documentation other than the legal documents for the land and a marriage record to Labraid Quinn. While the groom is obviously Irish, the bride, and the linchpin of our research, is French. My communication with the French Ministry has revealed that, according to them, a witch with that name never existed. The daughter of the two, however, attended Beauxbatons, as did most of the daughters until the early 1900's when the daughters attended Hogwarts. The direct line ceases, though, during the time period of a first Muggle war, one that you did not cover in your textbook in as much depth."

"So this Charlotte appeared out of thin air one day? That's weird. I know from working with Molly Weasley on my genealogy book that the wizarding world usually keeps really good records of births."

Draco kept silent for a moment and then nodded. "That is true. Due to the small population of magical people in comparison to the Muggle population, we do tend to keep very detailed records. Partially to ensure secrecy, but also due to blood status." Draco sighed loudly. "You must remember blood status has been very important up until the most recent…changes in wizarding society. Not all felt that way, but, unfortunately it was not uncommon."

Something was sticking in my head, rolling around and not quite coming to the surface. It was like trying to remember what color shoes your first grade teacher wore on the third day of classes. I took a look at Draco, and he was giving me a rather odd look. Before I could ask him why he was giving me a weird look Blink popped into the room.

"Does Master Malfoy require anything? More coffee?"

Draco shook his head. "No, Blink we are fine. Thank you."

Blink bowed his old, gnarled head very low. "It is a pleasure to serve the noble house of Malfoy."

_Sonofabitch_. "That's it!"

Blink, who was frightened by my outburst Apparated away instantly. Draco leaned forward intently.

"Yes, Professor? What is it?"

"When did Charlotte Pénitence arrive in Ireland?" _Holy shit, if I was right, this was huge_. "When?"

Draco moved several books and pulled a folder out from underneath. He flipped through the pages in the folder until he found what he was looking for. "The first date we have on Charlotte Pénitence is 1785."

_No fucking way_. "Draco, I know my French is horrible, but her last name, it means penitence in English, correct? If that's right, I think I know why you can't find any record of her. She changed her name. Draco, I think I saw a portrait of her in New Orleans at a magical hotel. Her name used to be Malfoy, but spelled with an 'I' instead of a 'y' like you do. She left America because the Malfoi's were, um, sorry, but they were horrible to Muggles."

I spent the next half-hour or so recounting my experiences in New Orleans, how Melody and I arrived at the Bon Charme, describing the portrait and retelling Draco the story of Aunt Charlotte. The entire time that I was telling Draco the story his attention never wavered, and he made notes on a small piece of parchment on his desk. Finally I sat back and laughed.

"Professor, are you…"

"I'm fine, Draco. Really. It's just…I mean, shit. Talk about coincidence."

"Fate has a way of playing with us all. If your precious car had not been stolen, who knows what might have happened? Based on your tale of what may be distant ancestors or relations of mine, it is doubtful that the inheritance of Aunt Charlotte would not cause considerable animosity amongst the family. Perhaps we now know why your book was at the site of the house. As you know from countless sources, as well as your own experiences with my father, the Malfoy family has always stressed the importance of pureblood marriages and interactions. If someone traced their lineage to the house in Ireland, discovering how each successive generation of women married Muggles…"

He gestured with his hands, and I knew exactly what he meant. "Then they would have wanted to destroy everything."

For the next hour or so I tried to give Draco background on the wizarding community in New Orleans, but it wasn't much since my experience there was very limited. I told him as much as I could about American history, especially about how the Creole culture was, in some ways, much more socially advanced than the rest of America at the time, since color and culture distinctions were blurred somewhat. He shook his head when I described how discrimination and worse things took place based on race; he understood the divisions regarding wizards and Muggles, but discrimination based solely on race was hard for him to comprehend. After a while, though, he stopped and seemed lost in thought, so I didn't say much.

"Professor, I may need to do some further investigation, personally at the source. As I am unfamiliar with the UMS, and specifically the New Orleans area that you have described, it may be prudent for you to accompany me on the visit. I will need time to prepare, obviously, but be aware that I may require your services."

_Another trip to New Orleans? How much school was I going to miss this year?_ "Um, ok, when…I mean, I've missed some of the term this year already, and Melody and I had talked about spending some time together and…"

"Professor, if we do make the journey, and it is only a possibility at this time, I believe we should take our spouses. I do not want to be away from my family if at all possible."

_Wow. That was going to be a fun conversation with Melody._ "Ok, ok. Just let me know as far in advance as possible. I need to make sure everything's ready for my students if I'm gone." _Students, that reminded me_. "Um, Draco, before I go, I need a favor."

Draco raised an eyebrow. "Yes?"

"One of my students, Peter Sawgrass, he's trying to reclaim some land that Muggles took over during World War 2. Do you think you could take a look?" I put the note I'd received from Sawgrass on his desk. "I mean, I know you're going to be really busy now looking for Aunt Charlotte and all of that stuff, but could you look, as a favor? He's a good kid, he's a seventh year, and…"

Draco held up his hand. "I know the family somewhat, as well as their current…yes, Professor, tell Mr. Sawgrass that I will do what I can."

* * *

I didn't have much time to dwell on my conversation with Draco as it seemed like the minute I got back to Hogwarts I was thrown directly into work. Headmaster Titus stopped by my room and informed me that one of my first year students was in trouble for pulling a prank on a Ravenclaw girl, so I had to go and have a talk with him. Apparently George Weasley's pipeline of illegal Wheezes was still alive and strong as a Ton Tongue Toffee was slipped into a bunch of sweets that the girl received from an "unknown admirer." How they tracked it to him I'm not sure, but after dismissing the boy, and informing him that he was serving his detention with me, I spent the rest of the day trying to come up with an appropriate punishment while talking to Neville.

After making the boy organize and re-shelve all of my Muggle literature books for a couple of hours I figured that was sufficient punishment, especially as I put on an album by The Shaggs on my WUMP with the speaker thing George was selling, so after he left I sat down and wrote Melody about my meeting with Draco. Had to turn off The Shaggs first, though; only so much of a "so horrible they're wonderful" band one man can take. I didn't let on in my letter that there was a possibility we'd be taking a working holiday to New Orleans with the Malfoys, though. I knew better than to drop that little bomb in a manner other than face to face.

The rest of the week went well, but my classes were slightly unruly, as the first Quidditch match of the year was that Saturday. Gryffindor was taking on Slytherin, the Red Sox versus Yankees of Hogwarts, and the match was always one of the best attended events amongst Hogwarts alumni. I did receive an odd letter from Melody, though; she let me know that she'd be attending the match. Usually she only came out for the Hufflepuff matches, and she didn't say why she was attending, but I chalked it up as an opportunity for us to visit about my letter and for her to see Lavinia. Either that or she just wanted to get out of the house, as it seemed like she was writing a lot more for _Witch Weekly_ than her usual column and was working from home most of the time. There was even a hint in her last letter of a promotion, so I guessed that she wanted to talk about that face to face instead of via owl.

The Saturday morning of the Slytherin versus Gryffindor Quidditch match turned out to be a very bright, but cold and windy day. While having breakfast with Neville he gave me a very good suggestion; why not sit in the stands for the other houses? Instead of sitting in the "thank you very much we're not cheering for either side" section I could sit in the stands for Gryffindor this match, on the Slytherin side in another match, and then the Ravenclaw side for another match whenever Hufflepuff wasn't playing. Of course he suggested sitting on the Gryffindor side for that match, which I teased him about, but all in all it was a good plan.

After breakfast I told Neville I'd find him in the stands later on and retired to my office, figuring Melody would meet me there and we'd walk to the pitch together. As the clock kept moving, and Melody hadn't arrived, I started to get nervous. I paced around the room a bit, wondering what could keep her when I heard a knock on the door. After hurrying over to open it I saw Lavinia and Willy in front of me.

"Hey, oh. Sorry. I thought you might be Melody."

Lavinia shrugged. "Sorry, but she sent us up to get you. She's downstairs talking to Mrs. Potter right now. Is it true that you're going to sit on the Gryffindor side?"

_What? How the hell did she know?_ "Um, yeah. I'm going to sit on the sides of the different houses when Hufflepuff isn't playing. How did you find out?"

"We heard Professor Longbottom talking to Headmaster Titus. The Headmaster thinks it's a good idea." Willy stuck his hands in his pockets. "We're not going to sit there, though."

I left the door open, went over to find my coat and Molly Weasley scarf, and then exited my room. "Ok, come on, you two. Let's go see why Melody kept me waiting."

Sure enough, Melody was talking to Ginny, and when they both saw me Ginny put her hand on Melody's arm and said something in a quiet voice that I couldn't hear. When I got down to the both of them Ginny gave me a hug, and very strangely, a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Nice to see you too, Ginny. What was that for?"

"Oh, nothing. Just glad to see you, Hank."

"Well, you'll get to see plenty of me, we're sitting on the Gryffindor side today." I looked over to Melody, and couldn't read her mood. "Hi honey, good to see you again. I get a kiss from Ginny but not from you?"

"Sorry, Hank." She leaned up and gave me a quick kiss. "Um, we'd better go find our seats."

As we walked out to the pitch with Ginny something was off with Melody. She didn't seem like her usual self. She didn't tease me or ask me any questions about my visit with Draco. Something wasn't right. "Mel, are you sick?"

Ginny laughed. "You mean is she ill? I don't think you meant to ask her if she's vomit."

I waved a hand at Ginny dismissively. "Whatever, Ginny. You know what I meant."

Melody just shook her head, and we continued our walk to the pitch. When we got to the entrance Ruby and Carrick were standing together, looking at something that I couldn't make out.

"Something interesting?" _Besides the fact that you two are talking again? I couldn't keep up with their relationship status_.

Ruby looked up happily. "Yes, it's my birthday present from Carrick! He got me a camera. Oh, can I take a picture of the two of you?"

_Why not?_ "Sure, Ruby. C'mere, Mel." I put my arm around Melody, Ruby snapped a picture and the flash almost blinded me. Melody didn't seem too enthusiastic about the picture, but I didn't think much about it. "So, are you two sitting on the Gryffindor side today?"

Carrick nodded. "We're trading off whenever our houses aren't playing each other."

I nodded. "Good idea. We're kind of doing the same thing."

Ruby continued telling us about her birthday presents from Carrick, which made him turn a slight shade of red. It was while we were talking to the couple that Ron Weasley walked up to us, and after a little pleasant conversation he decided to join our little Quidditch party. Eventually when we found our seats it was almost as if it was a dinner party at Colony House, as Neville, Hannah, George and Angelina had joined us. Ron brought out a large sack which contained sandwiches and crisps, and he offered the extras up to anyone who was interested. Melody shook her head vehemently, again something odd as she usually never turned down crisps.

I opened my bag of crisps and sat the ham sandwich down on my lap. "So Ron, how'd you get off work for the match?"

Ron started to answer with his mouth half full until his sister elbowed him, and after he finally finished chewing he smiled. "Part of my Auror contract. I never have to work when Gryffindor plays unless it's an emergency or something big. What's the point of winning an Order of Merlin if you can't use it, eh?"

"Only you, Ronnie." George shook his head. "If you would have stayed with the shop you wouldn't have to worry about that. Set your own schedule and all, but no, you left me in the lurch and decided to be an Auror."

Ron smacked George on the head, as George was sitting below him in the stands. "That was years ago, you git. You've done quite well, so quit whingeing."

I felt Melody elbow me, so I turned to her. "What?"

She had her eyes closed and sighed. She leaned close and whispered "What kind of crisps are you eating?"

"Cheese and onion. Why?"

She shook her head. "They smell horrible. Please stop eating them."

"But I like cheese and onion. What's wrong?"

Ron leaned over towards me. "What's the problem?"

"Mel says the smell of the crisps is awful. Do these smell bad to you?" I held up the bag and Ron sniffed them.

"Nah, smell just like they always do." He laughed and licked a spot of mustard off of his fingers. "You know when Hermione was pregnant with Rosie she couldn't stand the smell of mustard. Made sandwiches pretty horrible for a while, not having mustard." Suddenly Ron leaned across me and tapped Melody on her leg. "Must be pregnant. Triplets, right? Name one after me."

Ron was instantly smacked on the head by Ginny. "Ron Weasley!" Ginny's voice was angry. "You are a prat."

_Wait a second._ "Uh, Mel?" The announcer's voice rang across the pitch, as the Snitch had been released and the match was on. The voices of the crowd were loud, cheering on the action on the pitch, but I kept looking at Melody. "Melody?"

She grabbed my bag of crisps, threw them down and nodded. "Yes. Yes, Hank, I'm pregnant. I was going to tell you after the match." She leaned over and gave Ron a withering look. "I was going to tell you when it was just the two of us, but someone had to go and ruin it."

Ron, judging by his expression, was completely shocked. "Hey, I was just taking the mickey. How was I supposed to know?" Ron leaned away from Melody and looked to his sister, who just shook her head.

_Holy crap._ I sat there for a moment, not knowing what to do or say. I was brought out of my shock by the flash of a camera, and I looked down to see Ruby laughing.

"Professor Muggle, your face!"

"Hank?" Melody's voice was soft. "Hank, please tell me what you're thinking."

_What was I thinking?_ About a million things at once but my brain couldn't process everything which rendered me unable to speak. Since I couldn't say a word I did the next best thing; I pulled Melody close and gave her one of the biggest kisses of my life.

Once again the flash of a camera got my attention, and I leaned down a row towards Ruby and Carrick. "You will give me copies of those, right?"

We were deluged with congratulations from our friends in the stands. Ron was sort of subdued, and I told him that Melody might forgive him but she'd tease him about it for years. I was shuffled off to another seat while Hannah, Ginny and Angelina crowded around Melody, and while she looked sort of happy I could tell that my wife really wanted everybody to get out of her face and just talk to me. George and Ron, however, were predictably horrible, telling me that my days of "fun with the Mrs." were over, that I had better start sleeping now and that it was too bad that I couldn't do magic for crap because there were several spells to make nappies less nasty smelling. Luckily the Gryffindor seeker caught the Snitch and the match was over. Before I could say anything Ruby shot out of the stands, Carrick holding her hand for dear life as she hurtled down the steps. Finally I was able to get over to Melody.

"So, Mrs. Boyd, how are you feeling? And, um, when…"

She rolled her eyes at me. "I'm feeling fine, well, there was one thing but it wasn't bad until you started eating those crisps. Um, it was after you came back from playing Auror."

I smiled. That was a very good homecoming. "Mel, love, do you have anything planned for the rest of the day? Feel like hanging out with me? Wait, does your Mom know?"

"Yes, Hank, I planned on staying today, and no, Mum doesn't know. Ginny was the first person I told, because when I saw her the smell of her shampoo…ugh." Melody pulled her coat closer to her throat. "And I'm cold. Let's go back now."

"Do what the pregnant one says." George had poked his head around my shoulder. "Trust me, I learned the hard way."

"That's because you were a git then and you're being one now." Angelina grabbed his ear, and George made a big show of being abused. "Leave them alone, George. Now come on, we need to go to The Burrow and get Freddie and you're taking care of him the rest of the day."

As we started down the stairs I realized something. "Oh shit, Mel. Lavinia. I'm sure Ruby's told her. We need to find her."

Melody stopped on the stairs and I looked back at her. "Merlin! I'm going to, oh, Hermione is going to hear about this."

* * *

It was obvious that Ruby, surprisingly, had kept the big news to herself, as when we walked back nobody said a thing to indicate they knew. I said hello to a few students, a few of the Muggle Studies students said hello to Melody, but for the most part it was just a quick walk back to the castle. As soon as we got inside and made it to my room I picked her up, kissed her, and sat her on my bed.

"Well I'm happy as hell. What about you?"

Melody took off her glasses and put them on the pillow. "At first I was scared, then I was really angry with you, and then I started crying but Spit kept licking my toes, and I don't care how upset you are a puppy licking your toes takes care of that, and then I realized that you're not getting any younger, and we're at a good spot right now with our jobs and that I can still work from home and take care of the baby, but then I thought about all of your worries that the baby would have your magical abilities but I remembered what Hermione told me when Rosie was born, and I remembered how you looked when you held Albus after he was born, and how good you are with him and all of the other little ones, and…"

"Good God, Mel, take a breath! You'll pass out." I sat down on the bed and put my hand on hers. "Yes, I was worried about the magic thing, but I'm not now. Really I don't give a shit, it's our baby. As long as it has ten fingers and ten toes and is healthy I don't care."

Melody went to say something but a knock on the door stopped her. I went over and opened the door, somewhat surprised at who stood outside.

"Ruby said you wanted to see me, Professor? Oh, Melody's still here?"

As usual Lavinia came into the room while I was still holding the door, standard operating procedure whenever Melody visited me at Hogwarts. She climbed into my desk chair and spun it around a bit until I shook my head at her, so she stopped and gave me the usual grin. I sat down next to Melody on the bed and looked over to Mel, but she just raised her eyebrows as if to say "well, get on with it."

I cleared my throat. "Um, Lavinia, Melody and I have some news. Before I say anything I just want you to know that this won't change anything. Well, ah. Melody's pregnant, we're…"

I didn't get the rest of it out, as Lavinia was off her chair and hugged Melody, then me, and then Melody again. I laughed and looked at Mel, and she had a big smile on her face.

"Oh wow, wow, wow, this is..I finally get to be your nanny!" Lavinia was sitting on the bed beside Melody, but she was bouncing. "I wondered why Ruby seemed so anxious for me to come up here. She wouldn't tell me why, either." Lavinia's face fell. "How did she know?"

Melody gave a disgusted sigh and I quickly looked over to Lavinia. "It was an accident. Ron Weasley said some things and guessed it; Ruby and Carrick were sitting below us in the Gryffindor stands."

"I wanted to tell you right after I told Hank, but Mr. Foot-in-Mouth Weasley botched that. We're sorry, Lavinia. You should have been one of the very first people to tell." Melody looked over to me, and I nodded. "But if you like you can be the one to make the announcement here at school."

"Oh my Godric, I wonder who won the pool?" Lavinia bounced up. "I need to go find Poesy. I'm so happy for you!" She hurriedly left the room and Melody gave me a sharp look.

"Pool?"

I held up my hands to express my innocence. "I have no idea whatsoever."

Another knock was heard on the door, and I laughed. "You should probably charm this into a revolving door for the next few hours." When I opened the door Headmaster Titus stood there, beaming. He grabbed my hand and began pumping it up and down enthusiastically.

"Congratulations! Oh, very, very good news." He looked around the corner and Melody waved at him. Gavin dropped my hand and went over to Melody, kissing her on her cheek. "I am so happy for the two of you. Neville ran into me and, well, he couldn't contain the news. Now, since this is a very big day I think you should do what you need to here and then spend the rest of the weekend at home. Don't try protesting, I won't take no for an answer. Professor Farnsworth and I will manage the Hufflepuffs; don't worry about that at all. Now the only question I have is whether you'd like to make an announcement to the students, or…"

Melody laughed and held up her hand. "Thank you, Gavin, but I think Lavinia will take care of that."

He laughed. "Oh, I have no doubt about that." He cocked his head and looked at me. "Have you told your families?"

Mel shook her head. "No, we probably should go see Mum."

"What are you two waiting for?" Gavin shook his head. "By all means, go tell her! Trust me, I know when I…that's a story for another night, then. Right, you two. Hank, I'll see you on Monday morning, not a moment before that. Congratulations again, very good news!"

As Titus left the room I put my arm around Melody. "Well, love, ready to go see your Mum?"

"Let's go. Should be interesting to see if she thinks she's ready to be a grandmother or not." She looked up at me. "Think you're ready to be a father?"

I stood up and pulled her off of the bed. "I think that ship's already sailed, Mommy."

She put her hands on her hips and shook her head. "Definitely not. I will be Mummy. You will be the idiot who still can't remember to can't pick up his clothes."

* * *

As usual we arrived via Apparition outside of Forthingsgate, Melody's childhood home. I chalk it up to the fact that, regardless of how much she's warmed to me and softened, Lane Bramble simply does not approve of people showing up unexpectedly in her house, even if it is her daughter and her son-in-law. One doesn't simply do those types of things to Lane. As usual Lane's big mastiffs meet us at the end of the path down to the house, barking as if we were intent on burning down the house.

Melody shook her head, looked at me and rolled her eyes. "Go on, I know how much you love it."

She was right, as it's one of the best parts of visiting my mother-in-law. I held up my hand towards the approaching dogs and, in my best stereotypical English bobby voice that I learned from PBS, half-shouted "Right! What's all this, then?"

As soon as the dogs heard that they stopped barking, wagged their tails and ran over excitedly. I petted them as quickly as I could to keep them from jumping. "Cassius, Brutus, how are you boys?" They licked my hands, ran off for a few feet and then came bounding over again, and I repeated the process until we made it to the front door. I waited for Melody to knock, but she didn't seem to be paying attention, instead she was staring ahead blankly and I realized she was nervous as hell. I knocked on the door quickly. We stood there for a few minutes while Cassius tried to lick Melody's hand. _Oh shit, this was going to be interesting._

The door opened and Leeky, Lane's house elf stood before us. "Mistress Gwennie, very good to see you. And you too, Professor."

Melody and I walked in and Leeky quickly half-jogged around the corner to go tell Lane that we're here. I knew we had a few minutes to talk so I took a hold of her hand. "It'll be ok. She has to know, and sooner better than later. Could you imagine what would happen if…"

"Melody, Hank, this is a surprise. Tea?"

As usual Lane looked immaculately dressed, even if she was just puttering around the house like I imagined she would be on a Saturday. Only my mother-in-law could look that well put together while lying around having tea and reading _The Daily Prophet_, as her hair was immaculate as usual and the dressing gown-whatever thing she was wearing was fire engine red with Chinese dragons all over it. I realized that I was wearing jeans, an old button down shirt and a pair of boots; only coming to Forthingsgate made me feel underdressed, regardless of the occasion.

When we made it to Lane's destination, the little nook with massive windows, we sat down and had tea and made small talk. Lane asked about our jobs, how Hogwarts was going so far, told Melody that her last piece for _Witch_ _Weekly_ was well done and that she'd received compliments at her Women's Guild meeting, all sorts of stuff that had absolutely nothing to do with why we were actually there. Of course Lane would never be so crass as to say "so, why are you here?" I knew that my Mom would have said that almost the instant that we arrived, but I'd learned to navigate the waters of Forthingsgate well enough to know better.

Finally, as Lane was in the middle of a story concerning her new strain of orchids, Melody couldn't take it anymore. "Mum, I'm pregnant."

I had anticipated something very sedate, very proper in my head when imagining the scene on the way to Forthingsgate. In my imagination Lane had sipped tea, crossed her legs and very politely inquired about Melody's health, the due date for the baby and gave Melody very specific instructions on raising a baby that would probably result in Melody becoming angry later as she would somehow consider the comments an insult to her intelligence. What happened couldn't have been further from my thoughts than, well, George Weasley becoming Minister of Magic. Lane dropped her teacup, the contents of which spilled all over the cream colored tablecloth, and was out of her chair and over to Melody before anyone could say another word.

"Gwennie! Oh Gwennie!" She hugged Melody tightly, and over Lane's shoulder I could see Mel's completely shocked expression. Lane kissed Melody on her forehead. "Oh, Gwennie, this is such good news! When do they say the baby will be here?"

_Shit. Mel hadn't even told me that yet. _

"June, Mum. Early June." Mel looked in a daze. "You're really happy about this, aren't you?"

"Oh Gwennie, I'd hoped…and your father…" Lane put her hands to her face and began crying. "I'm so happy for you."

Melody looked over to me and mouthed "what the fuck?"

I started laughing, as quietly as I could because Melody had said "fuck" about two times in the entire time I'd known her.

Lane composed herself quickly, but the smile on her face was bigger than I'd ever seen. Actually, this was the most emotion I had ever seen from my mother-in-law.

"Gwennie, Hank, you are staying for lunch. No, we'll go out, to celebrate! We have so much to talk about. I believe your old nursery things are in storage, wait, no, that won't do, not for my grandchild. We shall go shopping, yes, that's it. I know exactly where to go, Francine will be able to show us the perfect things for the room. Yes, the second bedroom upstairs will be perfect, not too close to Lavinia's room but still close enough."

Lane continued to talk and plan but I wasn't listening. I glanced over to Melody and after seeing the look on her face I realized we were both in for a long nine months or so.

* * *

**_A/N: Thank you to everyone who has been following this story. It's been quite fun to write. For the record The Shaggs are an actual band, and their history and music are definitely worth a look, especially if you enjoy the "so bad it's good" type of thing. Of course Jo Rowling owns most of the things in this story and all of my other HP stories, so credit where credit is due. _**


	7. Do Not Mess with a Pregnant Witch

**Chapter 7: Do Not Mess with a Pregnant Witch**

The next few weeks were interesting, to say the least. I wrote a long letter to my parents and received a very enthusiastic letter in return; Mom and Dad were ecstatic. Nate and Lavender sent over a card and a letter, Ted and Candice sent over the longest letter I'd ever received from the two of them and Jennifer and John sent over a package containing a lot of Muggle pampering items for Melody. Both Ted and Jennifer made sure to tell me that my job was to do whatever Melody wanted, as she was going to do all of the work. Besides the communication with my parents Lane seemed to have a goal of wearing out owls, as a day wasn't complete without a note from her, usually on something insignificant. My guess was that she was bound and determined to be a very involved grandmother, which made me slightly nervous.

Melody spent her weekends at Hogwarts, only going home to sleep. Even though I tried to get her to stay a few times the memory of trying to sneak out of Hogwarts before we were married was too much for her to overcome, so I reluctantly agreed. Lavinia and Ruby stopped by quite often, and after finally remembering I asked Lavinia about the pool. Apparently after Melody and I were married the members of Muggle Club put together a pool on how soon Melody would be pregnant, and Flora Falkirk, the Hufflepuff Seeker, was the big winner. Lavinia had guessed two weeks after the honeymoon and I chalked that up to wishful thinking on her part.

The first Saturday in November fit the usual pattern, as Melody arrived in time for breakfast and we sat down at the Hufflepuff table with Lavinia. It was while I was reading _The Daily Prophet_ that Melody said something and tapped my paper.

"Your paper reminded me, Hank. I need you to accompany me to an event on the 17th."

I moved my paper down to where I could see her. "An event? What are you talking about?"

Melody sat down her teacup. "Well, I would normally send one of the other reporters, but for this I feel I should attend personally, I know you don't like those things, but this one is different, and…"

"Good grief, Mel, it can't be that bad. You know I'll go with you; what is it?"

"Gwennog Jones is being inducted into the Quidditch Hall of Fame. As the former press secretary for the Harpies…"

I held up my hand. "Say no more, I get it. Sure, I'll go. It'll be good to see my harem again." I expected Melody to smile at that, but I didn't get the predicted response. "What else is there? What aren't you telling me?"

She leaned over and looked deep in thought, but then straightened up quickly. "Hank, I need to get something new to wear. I have to go to Madam Malkin's, and I was hoping that…"

"Of course I'll go with you. When do you want to go?" _Madame Malkin's? This was going to be interesting._

"We could go today, or we can go next weekend; either is fine."

"Does that lady still work there?" Lavinia's eyes narrowed as she looked over to Melody. "I can come too."

I leaned over and bumped into Lavinia's shoulder on purpose. "Don't you have Transfiguration and Charms papers due on Monday? Are they finished?"

"No, Professor, they're not done yet. But I could work extra hard on them when I get back." Lavinia looked up hopefully at me, but when she saw Melody's face her expression changed instantly.

"Absolutely not. School comes first, Lavinia." Melody reached for a plate of bangers and mash that suddenly appeared next to her elbow. "And Hank, we can leave after I finish breakfast."

Lavinia gave me a very funny smile and I nodded towards Melody and then hid my face behind the paper. I knew what Lavinia was thinking, that "after Melody finishes breakfast" could be a while.

* * *

As we entered Madam Malkin's Melody held on tightly to my hand; I knew she wasn't looking forward to this shopping trip. Luckily, though, when we entered I didn't see Medea anywhere in the shop; another young witch met us soon after we'd walked a few steps and asked if she could help. I followed Melody to the women's side of the shop, and after giving my opinion on a couple of dresses I unfortunately became bored. Melody could tell, as she tested me by holding up an awful looking yellow and green polka-dotted dress and pretended to think it was very nice. I told her it looked like something from a cartoon, which made her confused for a moment, but she laughed as she realized what I was talking about and replaced it on the rack.

"You're useless. Go look at the men's side, Hank. You could stand some new ties."

I rested my arms and head on the top of one of the dress racks. "What do I have to wear to this thing? Is it formal?"

She nodded. "Black tie." A mischievous smile spread across her face. "I already know what you're wearing."

"Oh, good. Makes it easy. So what is it? Formal robes?"

She shook her head. "I want you to wear your kilt."

"Really? Now that's surprising. Why's that?"

She put her hand on my arm. "You do remember what you were wearing the first night we…"

"Oh yeah. Definitely remember that." I kissed her on her forehead. "Ok, I'm going to go look at ties. Take your time."

"I will, after the loo. Honestly, I spend so much time in there lately."

I watched her head towards where the loo must be located and headed over towards the men's section. I looked at the ties, found one green and gold striped bowtie and was browsing the shoes when I heard raised women's voices, one of which sounded like Melody. _Fuck_. By the time I made it over to the women's section it was plain to see that things weren't going to end well. Melody stood holding a dress in her hands shouting at Medea.

"So you think that my husband is a cowardly, pathetic Muggle with a witch fetish, do you? You are so wrong. You have no idea. My husband has fought the WLF and American terrorists when he knows he can't do magic, and do you know what he did? He cast a spell and protected his niece. He fought them with everything he had, even though he knew their magic could kill him instantly! He was there right alongside the Aurors. But you wouldn't know anything about that, would you? The one time you two actually went out on a date, and I can't even call it a date you hit the ground like a frightened rabbit when you can do magic, you let Neville and Hannah fight off the WLF before the Aurors got there. Cowardly? That's so rich. He moved over here without knowing a soul and has made his way in the wizarding world! Could you imagine going to Hogwarts, using the Floo and all of the other everyday things that we take for granted if you were a Muggle? Don't answer that because I know the answer, no you couldn't! He didn't just change countries, he changed worlds! And before you open that mouth with too much lipstick and say something equally stupid he's not a Muggle, he's 1.3% wizard! And how _dare_ you say anything about our baby! I don't know where you think you get off saying horrid things like that when the only thing you have going for you is your looks and one day those are going to fade and where will you be then? You are a sad, shallow little tart that has no right to say things like that about my husband and my baby!"

_Holy fucking shit._ I stood there and knew that I should go over and stop her, but it was like someone had cast a bodybind spell on me. An older witch who I'd never seen before hurriedly walked over, looked at Medea and pointed towards the back of the shop. After Medea left she turned towards Melody.

"Mrs. Boyd I am so sorry, please let me apologize. I assure you that this will never happen again. Can you tell me what happened?"

Melody straightened her back, trying to stand as tall as possible and when she did I noticed the very early beginnings of a small belly bump. "I was in the loo when I heard two women enter, and they began talking about my husband. When I finished they had just walked out the door, and I heard _her_ say more horrible things about Hank and I was not going to stand for that. I will not purchase a single thing from this shop unless you can guarantee that _that woman_ will no longer be here."

The older witch nodded quickly. "Mrs. Boyd, I assure you that she will no longer work at this shop. Yours is not the first complaint but it will be the last. Please accept my apologies. Why don't we find something for you here, compliments of the shop? I would hate to think that one employee would reflect badly on Madame Malkin's reputation."

Melody took a deep breath and nodded her head while the older witch looked visibly relieved. After asking Melody what kind of dress she was looking for, and hearing that it was for a formal event, the witch told Melody to have a seat and she would return shortly. By that time my legs could move again, and I walked though a small crowd of witches that had gathered. _When had that happened, and where had all these women come from?_

I knelt down next to Melody's chair. "Mel, that was brilliant. Thank you, love. Are you ok?" I could tell from the look on her face that she still wasn't completely satisfied, that she was still angry.

"Yes, Hank, I'm fine. Merlin, that woman. Well, at least I know I'll have something nice to wear. Madame Malkin's would hate to see a mention of this little incident in _Witch Weekly_, wouldn't they?"

_Shit, I hadn't thought of that._ "You are something else, you know that? I'd hate to think of what would happen if anyone was nasty to the baby."

"Do not mess about with my family. The sooner people know that, the better."

* * *

Even though Melody left the shop with a very tasteful, complimentary emerald green dress and considered the matter closed there was fallout. Someone in the crowd of witches that watched Melody's dressing down of Medea went to _The Daily Prophet_ with the particulars, and soon the story was out. The reporter got most of the facts right, detailing Melody's defense of me, but they also commented that it was unwise to disparage the husband of a pregnant witch. While most of our friends, family and the students at Hogwarts knew that Melody was pregnant the rest of the wizarding world didn't, so that Sunday it was a flurry of owls. Usually the sacking of an employee at a shop wouldn't merit an article in The Prophet, but due to my notoriety it became a news story.

The funniest thing was a small basket that was delivered by two owls; they flew straight to Melody at breakfast and deposited the package with a thump. Melody opened it, smiled, and handed me the note. I watched Melody take out a series of chocolates, soothing facial potions and other things that I found out later were to help make morning sickness easier. I read the card quickly and laughed. The basket was from Hermione, Ginny and Angelina; they were happy that Medea would no longer be working at Madam Malkin's and giving their husbands questionable ideas.

Other than that I had a request for an interview with _The Daily Prophet_, a congratulatory card from Ian Coswock and other requests for interviews or articles. It seemed as if I wasn't the only one who questioned if the baby would be magical or Muggle, as the slant of the requests very politely broached the topic and wondered what my thoughts were. It was while I was reading those requests and wondering what to do that I saw Melody's smile.

"Ok, scary witch, what's got you in such a good mood?"

She sat down two notes on the table. "I had some very nice letters congratulating me on my pregnancy, one from your secretary at the Ministry and the other from Astoria Malfoy. Both of those surprised me. Oh, and Edith wants you to check in with the office, she thinks she might have something. Hank, Astoria Malfoy? Her letter was so…nice. I can't believe it. I know she's been very pleasant when we've spoken, but I never expected this."

_Hmmm…this was probably the best time to tell her, especially after Astoria's letter._ I leaned over close to her. "Mel, I haven't said anything because I'm not sure if it's going to happen or not, I still don't, but it's a good thing you can get along with Astoria. Um, there's a chance that we may have to do some, uh, Ministry stuff soon, and it would involve going back to New Orleans with the Malfoys. What do you think?"

Melody looked around and I could tell she was trying to see if we would be overheard. Luckily we were at the end of the table by ourselves; the rest of the Hufflepuff students were at the other end. "I don't know, Hank. If it's for your Ministry job, then I'll do it. I still don't know about Draco, but Astoria's quite nice. Merlin. We'll be going on holiday with the Malfoys?"

I shrugged. "Not sure yet. And it won't be holiday, Draco and I will be working. I guess. Don't know. Maybe Edith knows more."

Melody picked up a card and looked at it momentarily. "Maybe you should go into the Ministry soon. Gwennog's thing is next Saturday, so after that. Besides, Mum has been mental lately. I swear she's going to drive me batty before the baby gets here."

* * *

Monday morning I sent Edith an owl, and it didn't take long to get a return. I had just finished up class with the first years, who were all trying to figure out how they could get mobile telephones, when I heard a knock on my classroom door.

"Yes, Miss Phillips? What can I do for you?"

She walked in and handed me a letter. "Note for you, Professor. How's your wife doing?"

"Just fine, thank you. Her morning sickness usually comes in the late afternoon and she's developed a taste for spicy sausages, but besides that everything is fine." I watched Poesy nod, but she didn't leave. "Yes, Poesy, what is it?"

"Do you have mostly boys or girls in your family?"

I laughed, as I knew suddenly why she was asking. "New pool, huh? Well I have a sister and two brothers, and I have a niece and a nephew. Melody's an only child, so you'll just have to go from there."

She snapped her fingers and made a humorously irritated face. "That doesn't help much. Maybe I can ask Professor Trelawney if she has an idea. Thanks, Professor Muggle."

After Poesy left I opened the note from Edith. While I had been teaching she had been very busy, as she had found something that she wanted to discuss, and mentioned that Draco would like to meet with the two of us. The Saturday I suggested would be fine, as there was nothing that needed immediate attention and she said she would make sure that everything was ready at ten.

My second years started filing into the room before I could think on it more, so I put the note away and started class. I'd think about it later, I had more pressing issues such as handing back homework and Gwennog's ceremony.

* * *

"How do I look?" I stood in front of the mirror in my room wearing my dress MacDonald kilt and formal attire. "What do you think, Lavinia? Willy?"

Lavinia and her boyfriend sat in my comfortable chairs next to the fireplace in my room. Lavinia and Willy had stopped by just to chat while I was getting ready, so I left them alone for a while as I was getting dressed for the Gwennog Jones thing. I admit that I didn't take very long in my loo while changing as I didn't feel comfortable leaving the two of them alone in my room even though I knew nothing would happen.

"Very nice, Professor." Lavinia sat cross-legged in my big green chair.

"Why are you wearing that again?" Willy looked me oddly. "Do you have to?"

I took down Balthasar from his spot on the shelf, went through the usual greetings, put him on and adjusted the sporran straps. "Melody asked me to."

"Ok, that thing makes it much cooler." Will smirked.

"Thank ye, boy." Balthasar grumbled. "Now how about a wee drink?"

Willy's eyes were wide. "Merlin's pants!"

I didn't have time to explain as there was a small knock at the door and Melody entered. Lavinia went over to her immediately, and the compliments that Lavinia were gave Melody were completely justified. The emerald green dress was beautiful, her makeup…shit, she just looked amazing.

After talking to Lavinia she came over and stood on her tiptoes to give me a kiss. "Sorry, no heels tonight, so you'll just have to deal with a short, fat and pregnant wife. Bloody things hurt my feet the ten minutes I had them on at the house."

"You got the short and pregnant part right, but that's it. You look wonderful."

Melody rolled her eyes. "Just wait a few months for the other part, then. Ok, time for us to go."

As we started to leave I noticed Willy elbow Lavinia, but she shook her head. "It's a sporran and his name is Balthasar; I'll tell you later, come on. We have DADA homework."

I filled in Melody on the news of the week as we walked out of Hogwarts and towards an Apparition enabled location, and for the most part she was silent. Finally I couldn't take it.

"Ok, you've been twirling your hair with your fingers so I know something's on your mind. What is it?"

She stopped playing with her hair immediately. "Godparents. I've been thinking about godparents, Hank. Have you thought about that? If something horrible happened to us, who would you want to raise our baby?"

I stopped walking and looked at her intently. "I've…I've never thought about that. I don't know."

She cocked her head at me. "First person you think of, quick. Right now."

"Neville."

She put her arm in mine and we continued walking. "Interesting, Hank. Why did you say Neville?"

I thought about it for a moment. "He's the most decent person I know who could raise a magical kid. Sure, Harry and Ginny could, Ron and Hermione, too, but…I feel bad about saying it, because all of them are good friends and great parents, but I've seen the way Neville talks to the kids here. And then there's Lavinia. I know he's gone out of his way, even after the talk we asked him to have with her after her parents died, and he's the most compassionate person I know. He never talks down to the kids, and even though Herbology isn't the most exciting subject he's a damn good teacher. Plus you know better than anybody that I would have never made it though my first year, let alone everything else if it wasn't for Neville. There was a reason he was my best man, you know. And then there's Hannah, I can't imagine two better parents, except for us, of course. You've seen how Hannah brings out the fun side of Neville. She's a good listener. Can't count how many times I've been into the Leaky, just prattling on, and she'll make a comment that really makes me think of things a different way or makes me realize I've been an idiot. You know her better than I do, I mean, I work with Neville." Melody had stopped walking, and I got nervous. "You asked me, so there you go. What are you thinking?"

"Surprisingly the first person that popped into my head was your brother. Nate, that is. But I'm not sure that I'd be comfortable with our baby being so far away in America; what would my Mum do? Plus he drives his cars so bloody fast. Of course, you know if anything happened our families would step in immediately, but as much as I like Lavender, and I do, you know, she's not the most maternal woman on the planet."

I laughed. "No shit. Um, wait? Can she have kids? You know, the werewolf thing?"

"I'm not sure. I did think about that, but then after going through everyone I ended up at the same place you did, Hannah and Neville. You're right, I do know Hannah better than you do, and she's just as good a person as Neville. They're well matched."

"Just like us." I leaned down and kissed her. "Ok, we're not going to go anywhere, so the bump is going to have to deal with us. I guess we've settled the godparents thing then, right?"

She tapped her foot and looked at me oddly. "The bump? You're calling our child _the bump_?"

"Better than what George called Freddie, isn't it? The sprog?"

I didn't get an answer as she took a tighter hold on my arm and we Apparated away.

* * *

Once again I arrived in a mass of flashbulbs at a red-carpet event, but this time I didn't have to worry about the press as I was with my wife. I figured we usually wouldn't be that much of a press attraction, but the recent story in _The Daily Prophet_ made us a target. I was glad that Melody used to be a press secretary as she fielded and deflected questions easily, and I did my best to give a few generic answers that really didn't say much. We'd made it halfway down the aisle when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"At least this time I won't have to answer questions about you and my wife." Harry Potter smirked at me, and I shook his hand.

"Good to see you, Harry. Thought I might see you here."

"Ginny wouldn't miss this for the world. Besides, we've got a lot in common lately, Hank."

Before I could ask what he meant Ginny joined us. "Come on, we've done the picture bit, let's go inside."

The four of us headed inside and soon we were out of the glare and shouts of the reporters and photographers. A waiter went by with a tray of chameleon champagne and I took one and noticed Harry only took one as well. Ginny put her arm through Melody's and the two of them headed away towards the bar, in Mel's case looking for something non-alcoholic.

"So Harry, what did you mean out there, a lot in common? The Harpies connection?"

Harry shook his head. "No, not that. The same reason you only took one glass of champagne."

_Only one glass, what did…holy shit._ "Congratulations, Harry. What's the date?"

"Early July. We told the family this morning. Molly's over the moon, as you can imagine."

I nodded. "No surprise there. I think she hopes all her kids will follow her and Arthur's example. So what did the boys say?"

Harry took a sip of champagne. "Oh, they're fine with it. Albus wants a 'brudder' and James is ok with it as long as he doesn't have to share any more of his toys."

"Sounds like we might need to take the boys off of your hands soon, give you a night to yourselves. So what do you think, Harry? Another boy?"

"Yes, I think the Weasley blood is too strong. I have a feeling this will be it, though. Ginny said she's not going to have her mum's arse. Don't get me wrong, she's happy, but I'm pretty sure this will be it. She's even talked about a little procedure to make sure."

I cringed. "Ow, even with magic that doesn't sound good." I saw Melody and Ginny heading our way. "Ok, here they come. Do I need to act surprised?"

Harry shook his head. "I don't think so."

As our wives returned to us I looked over to Harry and then to Ginny. "So I understand I need to retire from Hogwarts in about eleven years, right? Congratulations."

Ginny shook her head. "Thank you, Hank. Yes, eleven years would be about right but you might want to do it earlier. I caught James and Albus trying to see what they could flush down the toilet this morning."

The rest of the evening went well; Melody and I sat at a table with Ginny and Harry as well as two other couples that I didn't know but apparently were former Harpies players and their husbands. Ginny ended up doing most of the talking with them, as they were older witches that played when Ginny was at Hogwarts, and since Harry and I didn't follow Quidditch like Ginny did back then, we really didn't have a whole lot to talk about. Melody knew them slightly, as they had been to the Harpies' offices on occasion, but since the majority of the night was the induction of three new members of the Quidditch Hall of Fame there were ceremonies that took up most of the time.

There were a few surprises, though, the main one being Gwennog's speech after her induction. She thanked her former coaches, players and competitors, but when she thanked Percival Taft for all of his years of love and support more than a few eyebrows were raised. When I asked Ginny if she knew who Percival Taft was, she laughed. Apparently he was the Harpies equipment manager; there had been rumors amongst Harpies players and employees that he and Gwennog had been romantically involved but nobody could ever prove it. The next big surprise was when Gwennog had a picture taken with all of her former players, coaches and other Harpies employees. Melody was teased about being pregnant, but when Gwennog had firewhiskey shots passed around to everyone, as the picture was going to be all of them drinking to the Harpies, Ginny declined and finally had to explain causing everyone gave her a hard time.

"Looks like your secret's out, Harry." I tilted my glass of firewhiskey towards him.

"Guess we'd better find some liquid courage, then." He lifted his firewhiskey and downed it. "Oh, by the way, Ron's really chuffed at you."

"Me? What did I do?"

"You ruined his Diagon Alley trips. No more sightseeing at Madame Malkin's." Harry laughed. "Hermione, though…"

"Hey, that was Melody, not me. Besides, I think Ron's doing fine as it is. Don't know if I told you, Harry, but I think I might have interrupted them in Ron's office once."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Tell me about it. I went down there last week to see if Ron was alive, because Hermione showed up in my office ranting and raving about something he'd said, and I told her to take it up with Ron, not me. Trust me; I've been in the middle of that for long enough to know better. About an hour or so later I went down to Ron's office to see if he wanted lunch and his secretary wasn't there. I knocked on the door and heard some things, so I left as quickly as possible. Hank, there are some things I just don't want to know."

"At the Ministry? Really? I can't imagine Hermione…ok, let's talk about something else right away. Anything."

Harry looked around quickly. "Had lunch with your secretary the other day. I understand you have a meeting next Saturday, right?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Should be interesting. Any other news?"

Harry shook his head slowly. "Nothing. That makes Robards worried, and a worried Robards is no fun to be around."

* * *

When Melody and I arrived back at Colony House she immediately kicked off her shoes and flopped down on the sofa. "Merlin, I'm glad that's over. I missed those witches, but I didn't realize it would be like that. I will be getting a copy of that picture of you and your harem, though. Can't pass that up."

I sat down on one of the comfy chairs and put my head on the back. "I think Gwennog tried to lift up my kilt."

Melody put her arm over her eyes. "I didn't tell you but she came up to me at one point, patted my belly and said 'well, we know what's under the kilt works' or something like that."

"That's Gwennog. Did you find out about her and the guy, what's his name?"

"Percival Taft. Godric knows how old he is, and how long it's been going on, but apparently they're really good at hiding their relationship. I doubt they'll ever get married. Can you imagine Gwennog in a big, frilly white dress walking down the aisle?"

"Fuck no. Maybe going down the aisle on a broom in her Harpies uniform, but not the dress. Speaking of dresses, did I tell you how much I like that one?"

Melody got up from the couch and stood in front of me, a very big smirk on her face. "Only about a thousand times. Go let Spit outside and hurry back."

I went into my office where the Corgi puppy sat in his little crate; when I unlatched the door he ran out and barked several times, ran out of the room towards Melody and soon returned, wagging his butt.

"Come on, you, let's go outside and do your business."

Spit ran towards the back door and I let him out in to the garden. Soon he returned and realized that I was wearing Balthasar. He growled and barked at my sporran until I took it off and put Balthasar on top of the kitchen table. After I put Spit back in his crate I went back into the living room where Melody sat on the corner of my chair; she pointed a finger at me and curled it back and forth, indicating that I needed to come over there.

"Yes, love, what is it? Are you and the bump hungry? Want me to fix something?"

She reached up and untied my bowtie. "No, I'm not hungry. I was just remembering the last time you wore a kilt to a red carpet event. That ended quite nicely."

I stepped forward and put my arms around her waist. "Yes, it definitely did."

"Hmmm…maybe we should see if we can recreate that night?"

"Melodia Gwendolyn Boyd, if this is what you're like when you're pregnant, wow, I'm keeping it that way. We're going to beat Molly and Arthur."

She didn't say anything; instead she took my hand and just walked towards the bedroom.


	8. Lucy, I'm Home

**Chapter 8: Lucy, I'm Home**

Surprising, I got to my office first on the Saturday of my meeting with Draco and Edith. I made my way into my office and sat down, lit up my pipe and opened the file folder that had my name on the top. Maybe I could start early, catch up before my meeting began; after all, it had been a good week of classes, nothing had happened out of the ordinary and it seemed that everyone was progressing nicely. Melody was doing well as the morning sickness had subsided somewhat and she'd finally convinced Lane that she didn't need to send an owl every day, so I opened the file folder with optimism.

"Professor? You're here early." Edith walked in and put her coat over the back of her chair.

"Yeah, thought I might get an early start today. Besides, the dog really really needed to go outside early this morning."

Edith sat in the little visitor's chair in my office and sat her notepad and quill on my desk. "How is he doing?"

"Just fine. He's definitely Melody's dog, that's for sure. Put it this way, if I had a steak in my hands and Melody had nothing and both of us called Spit odds are he'd go to Melody. Makes sense, really, as she's with him most of the time." I pointed my pipe towards the file on my desk. "So, anything I really need to read before we have our meeting?"

Edith shook her head. "I can explain both things to you and Mr. Malfoy at the same time. I'm not sure exactly what he wants to discuss, but I'm sure it will fit in somehow."

"I don't know how the hell he's going to fit in here, that's for sure." I waved my hand around, indicating how small the office is. "Maybe we can borrow a conference room or something."

Edith never had a chance to reply as Draco knocked on my door. Edith rose to greet him, and I leaned across my desk and shook his hand. "Glad to see you, Draco. Sorry about the office, we were just discussing trying to find someplace larger."

Draco nodded and I thought I saw a slight smile briefly flash across his face. "Yes, Professor, your office does leave something to be desired. Perhaps I might be able to rectify the situation. If you would join me next to Miss Winston's desk I will endeavor to make your office more habitable."

I followed everyone out of my office, and once we were all out there Draco stepped into my office and closed the door behind him. I saw a small orange flash of light underneath the door, and soon Draco stepped back through the door looking pleased with himself.

"I'm afraid it's only a temporary spell; you might be able to have someone else make it permanent." Draco pointed towards the door, and when Edith and I walked in I started laughing. Once again it was the "bigger on the inside" thing that the wizarding world loves so much, as my office was at least two to three times larger than it was.

I turned my head back towards Draco. "How long will this last?"

"Only a few hours, I'm afraid. Miss Winston, if you don't mind bringing your chair into the office I believe we can start now."

Once we were all seated Draco started immediately. "I have to say, Professor, that the book you and Mrs. Weasley put together has been invaluable. With the assistance of Miss Winston I've been able to do quite a bit of research, and while Miss Winston knows of some of my findings, the newest finding is most interesting." He paused, placed a folder onto the desk and began flipping through parchment until he found the page he was looking for. "After conducting several conversations with my father on topics he did not want to discuss eventually I discovered a part of Malfoy family history that has been pointedly ignored for generations. Known about? Obviously, but the Malfoys do not talk about such things. Eventually I discovered a letter that mentioned Charlotte Pénitence and the author of the letter did not hold her in very high regard. Although it was never explicitly stated, Charlotte Pénitence, or Malfoi, cursed the American side of the Malfoi family, a strong and highly unusual spell that sought to do nothing more than to end the Malfoi name, for all intents and purposes."

I stopped packing my pipe and looked at Draco. I was confused. "How could she do that?"

"Daughters." Edith looked at me, her eyes wide. "All of the research I did with Mr. Malfoy on that side of the family shows only daughters, never sons."

"So how does that connect to the burned out house in Ireland?" I tried blowing a smoke ring but it went horribly. "And what did your father say about that?"

Draco took a deep breath. "Father said that our branch of the Malfoy family remained in England while Charlotte Pénitence's side moved to America. Apparently the 'lesser branch,' as father calls them, petitioned their English family to assist in regaining property taken from them. It appears the destruction of the Muggle village and the subsequent attacks by magical families in the American colonies served the same purpose as the Muggle seizure of land here in Britain; intense hatred of Muggles and a feeling that the family had been wronged, not only by Muggles but those in the magical community. About the Irish house, I believe Miss Winston may have some additional information."

Edith nodded. "I cross referenced any birth records from the Malfoy family here in Britain, and their descendants, with other official records. Marriage licenses, death certificates, property transactions…things like that. I also requested the school attendance records from Hogwarts and any other schools; one thing kept popping up, the children didn't attend Hogwarts. Some attended Beauxbaton, but after that there are no records, which means one of two things: either the children were educated at home or they attended Muggle schools."

"You can imagine how well this would be received by members, however distant, of the proud Malfoy family." Draco sat back in his chair and clasped his hands together. "Miss Winston provided me the names of my distant relations and I proceeded to research further. It was only after receiving records regarding Bródúil, an Irish school that closed its doors in the early 1960's that I found something, a name. Cassandra Palliurum, who would have finished her seventh year in 1956. Her name was down as eligible for attendance, but she does not appear on any of the student rolls of the school or any other school, for that matter."

_What the fuck? Why? It didn't make any sense_. "Draco, I don't get it. Why wouldn't this woman want to attend a magical school if she's a witch? And she's part of the Malfoy family?"

Draco nodded. "Yes, she is part of the 'lesser branch.' As for why she did not attend Bródúil, Hogwarts or Beauxbaton, that is the question, isn't it? To add to the intrigue, I have found the Palliurum name on one of the student rolls, but not in Britain. The name is on the rolls of…"

"Laveau. It's in the New Orleans school, isn't it?" I pushed my glasses to the top of my head. "But how does that connect to the Irish house that got torched?"

Draco leaned forward, his hands on his knees. "Cassandra Palliurum's mother was born in that house."

_Sonovabitch. What the hell had just happened? When did I walk into a freaking mystery novel?_ "This just keeps getting weirder."

Edith cleared her throat slightly. "Actually, Professor, there's something else that is very odd. Mr. Malfoy and I have looked through the clues, but we can't figure it out. Since it's in the Muggle papers we thought you might be able to help." She reached into a folder and pulled out several pages from Muggle newspapers. "These were found in the Muggle newspapers two months before the disappearances of the Muggle Studies professors."

"Two months?" I put my glasses back down on the bridge of my nose and looked at the dates on the clippings. "Edith, you've been busy."

She smiled quickly and then pulled out a clipping and pointed to the circled area. "At first I couldn't make out exactly what these people were talking about, but after deciphering the code I realized that for the most part these people are just looking for someone."

It took me just a few seconds to realize what she was talking about and I laughed. "The Personals? Holy shit, yeah, there's a code so they can save money. It costs per word. Most of these people are just looking for a new husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever. It's not really much more than that."

Edith nodded. "That took me a while, but some of them aren't like the others. Take a look at this one." She pointed to the paper.

_Your uniform don't seem to fit. You're much too alive in it._

"Ok, I see what you mean, Edith. That's pretty unusual. Any more like that?" Another clipping was laid on top of the first and in the circled area I saw the text and all of the sudden it clicked. "Sonovabitch. No wonder you had no idea what they were about. I think I know the next one or another one, let me see." I sat back in my chair and closed my eyes, moving my lips as I went through it. "Are you safe Miss Gradenko? Miss Gradenko are you safe?"

"Merlin's pants, Professor!" Edith sat back, wide-eyed. "How did you know that?"

"It's a Muggle song by a band called The Police. The song's called 'Miss Gradenko' off of the album Synchronicity. I bought it on cassette when it came out. What other ones do you have?" The clipping before me had the phrase 'She's 68 but she says she's 54' circled. "The song's 'Maggie's Farm' off of Bringing it All Back Home. Are these just in this newspaper or the other ones?"

"They repeat in the same pattern, Professor, all two months before the Muggle Studies professors went missing in each of the different newspapers." Edith spread out the clippings, organizing them by city.

I re-lit my pipe. "Either you have a witch or wizard that loves Muggle music or you're dealing with a Muggle that's involved. Either way things just got a lot more complicated."

* * *

When I arrived back at Colony House my head was spinning. It was like someone had taken the words Muggle, Malfoi, New Orleans, Ireland and lyrics by The Police and others and just thrown them into a pot and stirred, adding into that the fact that Draco said something about a trip to New Orleans, this time with a date. Thankfully he was looking at a date after the beginning of the year, so Melody wouldn't be too pregnant, but still…and then there was the school that I'd be missing.

I sat my bag down on the table and hung up my coat. "Lucy, I'm home!"

A few moments later Melody came out of the office wearing a red t-shirt that read "Property of the Holyhead Harpies" and a pair of flannel pajama pants. The fluffy pink slippers stuck out incongruously against the dark blue and green plaid of the pajama pants, painting a very colorful picture.

"Who's Lucy? And you don't have to yell, you know."

I shook my head. "Sorry, love, old Muggle TV show reference. I have to say you look almost as beautiful as the day I married you."

She rolled her eyes and headed into the kitchen and put on the kettle. "I thought about getting rid of all the things that I can't have while I'm pregnant, but I know how you are without your tea. So how was your meeting?"

"Interesting, to say the least. Um, what do you think about New Orleans after the beginning of the year?"

She shrugged. "Ok, I guess. It won't be as bloody hot as when we were there before, will it?"

"Probably not. Don't know when for sure, Draco will let me know."

She sat a cup of tea down in front of me on the table and sat down, teacup in hand. When I joined her she took a sip of her tea and made a face. "I know why Ginny hated this tea, it's horrid. Of course Hermione swears by it." After leaning back in her chair Melody gave me one of her 'ok, pay attention now' looks. "What are we cooking tonight?"

I shrugged. "I dunno. What sounds good?"

She cocked her head and looked thoughtful. "How about those sandwiches you and your Mum made the last time they were here? The fried ones."

"Tenderloins? Sure, I can do that. We have potatoes so I can make the chips, but I'll probably need to go down to the village and see the butcher. Want to go along?"

She gave me the 'quit being thick' look. "Of course, since I look so gorgeous. No, you daft…just go. We've got some time, Hannah and Neville won't be here until seven or so, but don't take too long."

After I parked my little Morris and carried the packages from the shop into the house Melody walked into the kitchen and started peering into the bags.

"Yes, Mel, I got your sausages."

"I'm sorry, Hank, its just…I can't get enough of them. When you finish putting things away there's a letter from your brother."

I quickly put all of the things in their place and took the letters from the little stand for the post that we had fashioned in the kitchen. I sorted through a few things until I found Nate's letter.

_Hey Dork,_

_Keeping out of trouble? Wait, don't answer that, I already hear about it from Lavender. Working with Muggle procedures, eh? Nice story. I'm sure that's exactly what it is. Yeah, and you're not getting bald at all._

_Ok, you know I'm not one for letters so I'll keep it short. How would you like some company for Thanksgiving and an early birthday present? If it's ok with you Lavender and I would like to stay with you and the pregnant one. You know Lavender's family doesn't celebrate, and hey, what's Thanksgiving except an occasion to overeat with family? We'd come in on a portkey on Wednesday and then be out of your hair on Sunday. Of course Lavender is ok with it as the Hufflepuff / Gryffindor match is that Saturday, so be ready, she's going to give you some shit._

_Mom and Dad are going over to Jen's place, but be ready, I'm sure she'll be over there when the rugrat arrives. No need to send a letter unless you've got something that screws up a rare family visit from your favorite brother. See you in a few days._

_N_

I leaned back from the table and half-shouted into the other room. "Hey Mel, looks like we're going have some company."

Melody's voice came from the office, and her tone was somewhat annoyed mixed with teasing. "Have you been drinking? I know, Hannah and Neville."

I got up from the table and walked into the office where she sat cross-legged in my desk chair. "Um, yeah, but that's not it. Nate and Lavender will be here on Wednesday, for Thanksgiving and the Hufflepuff an' Gryffindor match on Saturday."

"Merlin. Well, so much for a quiet little American Thanksgiving, Hank. Guess we might as well invite Mum. She's been pestering me about visiting and I've held her off as long as possible."

"Do we have to invite your Mom? You said she's been driving you crazy."

"Yes, but it is my mum. She's never done Thanksgiving, so maybe we can postpone that until the baby arrives next year. What do you think?"

Before I could say anything Churchill came running as fast as he could into the room and jumped up on the desk, scattering papers as Spit barked and raced into the room. The little Corgi bounced around my feet, barking at the cat he just knew was on desk.

"Boys!" Melody's face darkened as she picked up Spit, who had bounded over to Melody after realizing it was me he was standing next to and not Melody. She looked at Spit and shook her head, and then leaned over towards Churchill. "You two need to learn to play nicely. Churchill, just swat him once and the little bugger will learn."

Churchill looked at Melody and then sat down and began washing himself in a rather rude pose.

"Looks like he told you. Come on, Spit, let's go outside and let Mommy make the neurotic cat all better."

After Melody put Spit down on the ground I called him and he came over, wagging his butt.

"Girls, Hank. The bump better be a girl, I don't know if I can take all of this boy nonsense."

I picked up Spit and moved my head away as he tried to lick my face. "Hey, I did my part; the rest is up to you. Look at it this way, you've got a fifty-fifty chance."

* * *

After having a third fried tenderloin sandwich Melody decided that all of the mess was worth it; admittedly it did make a rather large mess in the kitchen to make the sandwiches as well as the homemade chips. Hannah thought they were great but wouldn't have it be a normal menu item, maybe a one-time special at The Leaky.

While the women were talking Neville leaned over and spoke in a quiet voice. "Is it usual to eat three?"

I half-laughed as I spoke. "No. Only person I've ever seen eat more was a lineman on my high school football team. Saw the same guy eat two whole fried chickens once."

When Neville laughed a little too loudly I looked up and our wives were looking at us funny.

"What's so funny?" Hannah gave Neville a look and I could tell we were going to have to do some quick thinking to get out of this.

"I was just saying that Hagrid could probably eat ten of those." Neville smiled and reached quickly for his beer.

"If the chairs could hold him." I nodded at Neville, and then to the women, but I had a feeling they didn't believe us.

Hannah cocked her head at Neville and me. "Oh, that's a good one. Nice try, boys."

Neville made an exasperated sound. "All right, Hannah, you got us. I was just remarking to Hank how crazy it was that just two years ago neither of us was married, and look at us now."

_Neville, you smooth bastard._ I gave Melody a large, fake smile. "Yeah, but we didn't want you to get all mushy on us before dessert."

"Mmmm…what's for pudding?" Melody leaned over her plate. "Did you make the Italian cream cake?"

I shook my head. "Takes too long. Just a red velvet cake."

Melody got up from the table and quickly brought over the cake, slicing it into very generous portions. As she doled out the slices I figured this was as good a time as any. When Melody sat down I looked over to Hannah, and then over to Neville.

"Hannah, Neville, Melody and I have something to ask you. We've been talking about it, and, well, I don't know if there are two better people in our opinion, um, ah, and, um…"

"What my amazingly eloquent husband is trying to say is we'd like you to be the baby's godparents." Melody looked hopefully at Hannah. "You don't have to answer right away…"

I saw Hannah glance over at Neville, and she broke out into a broad smile. "Yes, of course. We'd be happy to. Oh Melody, this is exciting!"

The women hugged and Neville clapped me on the back. "So it looks like I'm stuck with you, eh?"

"Guess so, Neville."

The rest of the evening went well; hell, it always did when Hannah and Neville came over. Usually Melody and I didn't go to such lengths trying to cook as much, things like that, as whenever the Longbottoms were at Colony House it was like your brother and sister were there. Very relaxed, no pressure of playing the host, no problem if you burned something or the dog decided to pee on the living room carpet while everybody was talking. Eventually I had a thought, went into my office and pulled something out of my desk that seemed appropriate for the occasion.

"Hey Neville, c'mere a minute. Got something for you." I put on my coat and held out Neville's. Usually this meant a trip out to my shed, which was the case.

As we walked out towards the shed in the crappy weather Neville glanced over. "What is it this time? Something from the Ministry?"

_Huh? Crap, I'd forgotten about that in all the excitement of the evening. But now that he mentioned it, a couple of things sprang to mind._ "Um, no, not really. Neville, what do you know about Peter Sawgrass' family life? I know I probably shouldn't say anything, but I'm worried about the kid. I thought about inviting him to stay with us over Christmas, but that would look like favoritism…"

Neville nodded. "It's not a good situation. I have a feeling he's going to put his name down to stay at Hogwarts over holiday." He raised an eyebrow. "What brought that on?"

_Shit. I couldn't say anything about Franny and Peter, that wouldn't be right._ "Just some offhanded things in conversation."

After giving me a sly smile Neville stopped in front of the shed door. "We didn't come out here in this awful weather to talk about Sawgrass, did we?"

I opened the door and laughed. "Shut up." When we had entered the shed and turned on the light and the small space heater I reached into my jacket. "Charlie Weasley sent these to me at Hogwarts when he found out that Melody's pregnant. Thought tonight would be an appropriate occasion." I handed Neville one of the cigars. "Note said that they're a special Romanian cigar, almost impossible to find anyplace else."

"And you needed me to help get the smoke smell away?"

I nodded. "Well, that too, but I figured since you're godfather to the bump…"

Neville created a small flame at the end of his wand, lit his cigar and pointed it towards me. I lit my cigar and the two of us puffed away for a while without saying anything.

"Neville, do you ever sit there and think 'holy shit, what the hell?' You know, the how did I get here things, and think that you're lucky? I know I do." _Shit, Neville's parents._ "Um, sorry, I know, I…shit, this is all coming out wrong. I mean, Neville, your parents…"

Neville held up a hand and blew his smoke directly into my face. Both of us laughed.

"Hank, you weren't here when Voldemort was back. You have no idea what it was like. Actually you have a better idea than most, but trust me, I do understand. Yes, I know I haven't had the easiest life, especially with my parents and their condition, but I do understand. I think that every time I see my wedding ring, Hank."

Before I could say anything the door flew open, revealing our wives. Melody shook her head and Hannah laughed.

"Mel, it's a special thing, Charlie sent them over, and since Neville's the bump's godfather it's a special occasion and…"

"Just don't stay out here forever, Henry. Besides, I think my Mum bought you some cigars as well. Some sort of family tradition of my father's."

Hannah stepped in and spoke quietly to Neville, and he nodded his head. "Hank, it appears that it's time for us to leave. I'll see you back at Hogwarts."

* * *

The next week went fine and, as usual, Headmaster Titus was fine with me spending Thanksgiving with my family. I gave my classes an assignment to be completed out of class on Wednesday, so I had all day Thursday at home with Melody in anticipation of Nate and Lavender's arrival. I asked Lavinia if she would like to attend, as Melody and I considered her part of the family, but she declined due to her homework and specifically mentioned the assignment I'd given her in Muggle Studies. Cheeky.

Thursday morning I woke up way too freaking early in order to start the turkey. I'd never really done a turkey before, as last year Molly did it just like the year before that, and the year before that Melody made the worst turkey I'd ever tasted. Melody wanted me to contact Mom or Molly, but I assured her it would be fine. I mean, just because I had to have Hannah bring one in from America, cashing in a favor from a supplier to The Leaky, there wasn't any pressure. No, no pressure whatsoever. _Fuck_. My only consolation was that my mother-in-law declined Melody's invitation. I threw on my robe and stumbled into the kitchen, bringing out the turkey that I had Melody thaw out in the fridge for a few days. Once that big bird was safely in the correct pan and everything was prepped I almost had the turkey in the oven when I heard the Floo.

"Time to eat yet?" Nate stepped out with Lavender, brushing Floo powder off of his shoulders.

"No, dick. It's o'dark thirty. Turkey won't be done for hours."

Nate stepped in front of Lavender, throwing his arms open wide. "Don't look, Lavender, the sexiness might blind you."

I expected Lavender to give him a hard time but she giggled. She freaking giggled, Lavender Brown, er, Boyd, the hard-ass Auror that I knew giggled like a thirteen year-old girl who just saw a naughty picture_. What the fuck?_ "Nice, um, yeah, funny. Nate, start the kettle or make some coffee, I'll be back in a minute."

I went into the bedroom and threw on some jeans and a shirt and shook Melody. "Mel, wake up. Mel, Nate and Lavender are here and someone's stolen her brain."

Melody rolled over, pulled the blankets almost over her face, stuck out her hand and gave me a rude gesture.

"Oh nice, Mel, I'm sure the bump will learn that right away. Come on, help me out here."

She threw off the blankets and sat up, her hair a complete mess. "Fine. Give me some time. Besides, he's your brother, you take care of it. The baby needs some more sleep."

"Which baby?" I got a pillow for that one, but I thought it was funny.

When I returned to the kitchen Nate was sitting at the table while Lavender was busy making tea. I sat down next to Nate and hit him on the shoulder. "You could have told me you'd be here this damn early, you know."

"What, and deprive Lavender of seeing your pasty legs under the robe? Priceless."

"Shut up." I adjusted my glasses. "So you two decided to come all this way just for Thanksgiving?"

Nate shrugged. "Sorta. Lavender's got a meeting at the Ministry on Friday and we decided to come over early since its Thanksgiving and we don't want you to eat fish 'n' chips by yourself. Plus there's the Quidditch match at Hogwarts."

_Meeting with the Ministry? Did it have something to do with the missing Muggle Studies professors or the burned out Irish house?_

"Whoa, being a daddy-to-be must be taxing, where did you go there? Speaking of which, glad to see you're not striking out, finally sealed the deal."

Lavender sat the tea on the table and sat down next to Nate. "Striking out?"

Nate nodded. "Yeah, finally convinced his wife to have sex with him. Only took him a couple of years."

I kicked Nate under the table. "Fuck off."

Nate picked up a sugar cube and threw it at me at the same moment that Melody walked in wearing my oldest Molly Weasley jumper. "I can see we're off to the usual wonderful start."

Surprisingly Lavender and Melody spent most of the morning talking while Nate and I worked on getting everything ready for our big Thanksgiving dinner. You would have thought that having a mother who was a caterer would have made us good cooks, but neither of us had ever fixed Thanksgiving, all of Thanksgiving dinner before. There was a giant mess in the kitchen when we decided to take a break, something that did not go over well with Melody. After a quick snack we pitched in, rolled up our sleeves and started cleaning.

"You know, Hank, this would go a lot quicker if you could do magic. Hey, couldn't you call your house elf? What's his name, Nicky?"

"Nonky, and when school's in session we don't call him to the house. I don't like bothering him, and even then it's too easy to fall into the 'hey Nonky can you do this' trap."

"Well, Lavender does everything at our house with magic. It's awesome." Nate flipped a semi-wet towel over his shoulder, spraying me slightly. "I'm out of practice. Only thing I clean these days is my car."

_Car…that reminded me of something._ "Hey, the Jag was totaled, right?"

"Definitely. Those little bastards did a job on it. Don't worry, they're both doing time. Why? You want another one? Have to say that was really hard to find, and I'm not sure where…"

"No, not another one, as much as I'd love it. Um, I need something that can seat at least five."

Nate stuck his head around the corner to where Melody and Lavender were sitting in the living room looking at magazines. "Hey Sis, you're gonna have four more after this one? I can't wait!"

Melody looked at Nate strangely, then to Lavender and finished by giving me an odd look. I shook my head at the women and waved Nate off.

"No, Nate, God, you're such an idiot. No, it's not that." I walked over and lowered my voice. "I might be coming over to the States soon, and I'll need to be able to put five people in the car, van, whatever. Something not as conspicuous as last time."

"Ok, Ok, jeez, Hank. Can't take a joke anymore. All right, I'll see what I can do. Still have the cash you got back on the Jag, right?"

I scratched my goatee. "Most of it. The Jag was something else, wasn't it? Not as expensive as that, please. And no convertibles, though I don't know what you could find in a convertible that seats five. If you can get something with a third row seat that would be great."

"Make you a great deal on a new Range Rover."

"And a helluva commission. No thanks. I don't drive that much anymore, just down to the village and crap like that. Morris works fine for that."

"Can't have a Jag like your old one anymore, bro. Two seats. Damn, still freaks me out you're going to be a dad."

I leaned against the kitchen counter. "Why's that? Mel and I will be married two years in August. You didn't flip out when Jen had Maddie an' Oliver."

Nate shook his head. "That's different. She was always playing with dolls an' shit. Plus, she's a girl and she's always been Mom Junior.

"Right. Very maternal, just like when she used to beat the crap out of us." I pushed my glasses to the top of my head. "Um, Nate, I hope you won't take this the wrong way, but Melody and I asked the Longbottoms to be godparents. I know you and Lavender would be great, but you're so far away, and…" Nate took the towel off of his shoulder and flicked it at me, leaving a small welt on my arm. "Ow! Fucker, what was that for? I'm trying to be serious."

"I know, that's why I did it." Nate shook his head. "I get it, don't worry. I figured it would be that way. Hey, if I was you would I want me as a godparent? Hell no. The kid would always be wondering why Godfather Nate is cooler and completely better at everything than Dad. Too much pressure. I get to be Uncle Nate, spoil the kid rotten and send them on their way. Oh man, I hope it's a boy. Noisy toys you can't turn off, perfect presents."

"Nice. Thanks for understanding, even if you did have to do it the most annoying back-assward way possible. Besides, Mel thinks it's a girl."

"Lavender says every woman she's ever known thinks their baby is going to be a girl. Well, except Ginny Potter."

"She and Harry are expecting again, did you guys know that?"

Nate shook his head negatively. "No, and that would definitely make the news over there. Every AAB event we go to Lavender gets asked about Harry. Crazy. You'd think in the American Auror Bureau they'd have a little more tact, but there you go."

"Um, Nate, can I ask you something?" I took a look at the women to make sure they were busy. "Two things. Did…"

"Good grief, bro, you are whipped. You sound like Melody. 'Two things.' Jeez."

"Dammit Nate, shut up for a minute. Merlin. Ok, I was going to be polite about it but fuck it. Can Lavender have a baby?"

That changed his tone right away. Instead of smartass Nate I got the serious side of him. "Shit, I wasn't expecting that. Ok, I'll tell you what I know. We have seen some Healers, and they aren't sure. One of the possible side-effects of Lavender's condition and the medicine she takes to treat it might be infertility. They aren't sure because the situation's never happened before, it's a new drug, you know? Some days she wants to try an' other days she's scared to death of what would happen to the baby. Plus, there's the whole magic thing. At least you have some magic, I can't do shit. I wouldn't want our baby to miss out on that part of life. For right now the best answer we have is that we don't know."

"Damn, I'm sorry, Nate. Maybe I should have…"

"Dude, she's going to be Aunt Lavender. Can you imagine what that's going to be like, having an aunt who's an Auror and who got bitten by a werewolf and survived? Badass. Ok, what's the other thing? You said two things."

"I'm not sure if I should ask now."

"Hank, come on. It's me. You know I…"

"What the hell's happened with her? When I met her she was all stoic and hardcore; now she's all giggly and stuff. Did she get hit by a spell or something?"

Nate laughed. "Ah yeah, no. She's been out on assignment for a couple of weeks and we haven't seen each other for a while. How's the soundproofing in the downstairs bedroom?"

"Oh God, you suck, Nate."

"Hey, bro, just because you're wife's all pregnant, don't be jealous. I know how you are about her boobs."

* * *

Thanksgiving dinner turned out a little more crazy than I thought. I figured we had enough food for everybody, but things changed rapidly. First it was Molly and Arthur; Molly showed up with another turkey, worried that I wouldn't know exactly how to fix it. Then Ron, Hermione and Rose arrived, which puzzled me but I just chalked it up to the fact that Ron definitely wasn't one to shy away from a good meal. After Hermione apologized for not replying to Melody's invitation I was confused.

I found a moment after talking to Molly to come over to Melody, and whispered as softly as possible "Did you invite people over and forget to tell me?"

"Oh."

I kissed her on the top of her head. "No problem. Sounds like you've got the pregnant brain Ginny talks about. By the way, you might want to put that silencing spell on our bedroom tonight."

Melody reached up and smacked my hand. "Ow, no, not like that! Nate and Lavender. Don't say anything, for Merlin's sake."

"Merlin help me. I don't want to think about that."

The rest of dinner went really, really well. Very enjoyable. I volunteered to take Rosie, and it was definitely interesting. Dealing with a one-year old plus change made trying to eat an adventure of sorts, but Molly saved me, as Rosie was sitting between us. The thing that really got me though was how well Hermione and Lavender got along; apparently all of the ill-feeling had been worked out, and now, except for some teasing of Ron by Nate, it was like they were two fairly good friends who didn't see each other that often. Exactly like it was at my high school reunion when a guy who I hated bacj then turned out to be a decent guy after all. I was glad that Molly had brought over the second turkey, and even Nate and I had to admit it was better than mine, even if mine wasn't bad.

After pumpkin pie and a nice visit Hermione and Ron left first, as Rosie was getting cranky, making Arthur smile.

"Enjoy it now, Hank; pretty soon you won't hear that anymore."

"Hear what, Arthur? I don't hear anything."

He wagged a finger at me. "Precisely. In due time you'll have quite a noisy house. Why do you think Molly has the children over so often?"

"Ah, yeah, I get it. By the way, I know I've told you but I can't tell you how much I appreciated you filling in for me at Hogwarts."

"Quite welcome, you're quite welcome, Hank. Any chance of a repeat?"

_Shit, yes, there was, but I couldn't say anything._ "Um…"

Arthur must have realized my quandary as he quickly waved his hand. "Not a word, Hank. I understand."

Once Nate and Lavender had retired for the evening I joined Melody in the bedroom. "Well, that went well, what do you think?"

Melody pulled down the blankets on my side of the bed and patted the empty spot. "Sorry I forgot to tell you about inviting everyone. Molly stopped by the other day and it was out of my mouth before I could ask you and…"

I got into bed and pulled the covers up. "Don't worry its fine. Wasn't as fun as our first Thanksgiving, but that one will be hard to beat."

Melody snuggled in close to me. "I wish you didn't have to go back tomorrow morning."

"I know, but I'll see you on Saturday for the Quidditch match."

A muffled giggle rose from downstairs, and Melody and I looked at each other. She reached over to the small table by her side of the bed, took her wand and cast a spell at the door.


	9. Everywhere and Nowhere

**Chapter 9: Everywhere and Nowhere**

After Nate and Lavender left to go back to the UMS I could finally relax. They departed after breakfast, which left the rest of Sunday for Melody and I to lounge around until I had to head back to Hogwarts but most of all it gave me time to appreciate my early birthday present from Nate. He'd given it to me after the Hufflepuff and Gryffindor match to cheer me up, as Gryffindor had soundly trounced my Hufflepuff team and I wasn't taking it the best. Actually, it wasn't so much the loss at Quidditch as the hard time I got from all of my Gryffindor friends, mostly George, which got under my skin. At least Ron was charitable; I figured enduring all of the crap he got for being a Chudley Cannons supporter gave him a different perspective than the rest. After Melody decided to take a nap right after lunch I went into my office and put on my headphones, ready to enjoy myself.

The Clash were not only a favorite in the Muggle world, obviously, as what Nate gave me was a wizarding set of live Clash concerts recording in amazing fidelity by some magical means. He'd been wondering what to give me when Lavender suggested a wizarding music store in the UMS, and after Nate saw the collection he knew he had to get it for me. I was trying to figure out how to try to incorporate music somehow in my Muggle Studies classroom, and had been knocking around a unit on music ever since I got to Hogwarts but after listening to my birthday present I figured now was the time. _Why not? What's the worst that could happen?_

I should have known better. My first years were enthusiastic for the surprise lesson, but after trying to explain everything with pictures and music samples the whole thing devolved into a series of confusing conversations and misunderstandings. I'd put up pictures of a lot of influential musicians; everybody from early blues players, country music pioneers, Fifties rock 'n' rollers, Sixties mods and rockers, R&B greats, Seventies heavy metal bands, funk bands, punk rockers, 80's alternative and goth bands and a few more modern bands and performers. After seeing a picture of a series of punk musicians one of the Gryffindor boys took out his wand to give himself a mohawk haircut and ended up giving _everybody in the class_ the haircut, including me. The girls didn't take this well and, to be honest, I thought it was pretty funny but I knew I couldn't laugh. He told me he could fix it, but after waving his wand again we all had giant funk afros. I gave him one more try and after we all looked we could have been in a goth gang I stopped him there. I made him go find Professor Chang, and when she walked in the door she broke out into uncontrolled fit of laughter that went on a lot longer than I would have liked. When she finally returned us all back to normal I was relieved and promised myself that however much I wanted to do a unit on the evolution of popular Muggle music I would never do it again with first years.

When the seventh years arrived in my class I wasn't in the best of moods, and even though I didn't have to worry about looking like I'd stepped out of a time capsule from 1986 anymore I still had reason to worry. Instead of coming in and chatting, then getting ready for class as they usually did the seventh years were in the midst of a big discussion. After moving to the front of my desk and sitting there for a few minutes as they gathered around in the normal seating arrangement I figured they would get the hint that I was ready to start class. I was wrong. They kept talking and talking until finally I'd had enough.

"Would y'all shut up for one minute so we can start class?" I took off my glasses. "What in Hades is going on today? Sit down, Liv, that doesn't qualify as a swear word."

Ruby turned to me with a large smile on her face. "The Muggle Club Christmas party, Professor. We want to make it a dance."

"Yeah, for everybody, not just Muggle Club." Poesy nodded at me. "We thought Muggle Club could sponsor the dance, you know, as a way to get people interested in Muggle Studies."

_Or as an excuse to have a dance. _I sighed_._ "That would have to be discussed with Headmaster Titus, and I don't think…"

"Lavinia and I asked him earlier, he said it since it was a Muggle Club thing it had to be approved by you." Ruby smiled at me from her seat.

_Damn. Now I was boxed in, as Ruby and Lavinia had already talked to Titus, and if I didn't agree I'd end up looking like an asshole. Great._ "Well…I'm not setting it all up. Y'all have to organize it and since I'm the advisor I have final approval, so…"

I was immediately cut off by a rapid discussion of how to do the dance, lots of ideas and disagreements came up and I cut them off. "This isn't Muggle Club, this is class, so how about we actually do some, oh, I don't know, class work? You know, the shit you'll be tested on at the end of the year." I saw Liv get up out of her seat and shook my head. When she arrived with the swear book I reached into my pocket_. Ok, If I was going to pay, I was going to make it worth the price_. "Listen here, you little schemers, if you want to have a dance that's fine, but you're going to have to do a lot of planning. It's the freaking last week of November and Christmas holiday starts on the 21st, so it'll have to be the Saturday before that. If this is a Muggle Club sponsored dance then it has to have some Muggle elements and the main one is music. Grab your books, as we're done in here today. Now hey, before you get your asses out of here and go running off to do Merlin knows what and yes I really _don't _want to know what that is you have to do something related to Muggle Studies. Here's the deal. We're all going to my room where each of you will have to pick out five albums, records, CD's whatever the bloody hell you want to call it, convert it to WUMP format and…does everybody have a WUMP?"

Almost all of the hands went up with the exception of three students. "Shit. Ok, screw it. Just like The Daily Prophet I'm going to help you out on this one. No, I'm not buying the damn things, I'm going to get loaners from Weasleys' and you'll have to turn them in at the end of the year or pay for them. All of you will borrow music, listen to it and write one foot of parchment for each of the albums. Now hold on, before you all start bitching and moaning, this assignment is due on…" I went over to my desk and took a look at the calendar. "Due on the 13th, the Thursday before the dance. I expect a review and selections, if possible, for the dance. If this is a Muggle dance we're going to play Muggle music? Got it?" They nodded and I looked at Liv. "How much?"

"Three sickles and a gnut."

"Sonovabitch, that much?"

She shook her head. "Now it's four sickles."

"Whatever, now come on, we're going to go raid my music collection. Now be warned, I am _very_ particular about my music. Think of it like this, what's one of the worst things you could possible do? If the first thing that comes to your mind is losing or ruining any of my music you win the prize. All right, wait 'till I pack up my stuff and we'll go."

Luckily it seemed like everyone definitely got the idea that I was not joking one iota about my music, as they treated my collection as if things might explode or cost a year's wages. Most of the music, ok, all of the music was unfamiliar to them, so it turned into an impromptu lesson on Muggle music, much better than the experience with the first years. I played a lot of different things, gave them ideas, and for the most part it was a typical music geek event. While they listened and looked at album and CD covers I sat down at my desk and wrote a note to George ordering the WUMPs. Poesy, though, wasn't as involved as the others in going through my albums, which made me nervous.

"Poesy, can you come here a minute?" She glanced over and then walked up to my desk. "Yes, Professor Muggle?"

"Not as interested as the others?"

"Well, I was going to wait until they all left, but I'll ask you know. Do you have all the songs that they played at your wedding reception on your WUMP? Are they in a list?"

"A playlist? Yes, yes I do have that on my WUMP. Why?"

She pulled her hair back and let it fall. "Oh, I was thinking I'd ask and see if I could get that on my WUMP, you know, go get an idea about what kind of Muggle music works best at dances."

_Sneaky and smart_. "Are you sure you're in the right house, Poesy?" I smiled at her. "Of course. Good thinking. Two points to Ravenclaw."

* * *

By the time I got down to supper in the Great Hall I was absolutely, positively sure that I was a giant idiot. What the fuck was I thinking, agreeing to the Christmas Dance? All through the day I'd been assaulted by questions from the kids until I finally declared a moratorium on questions until the next Muggle Club meeting. When I sat down next to Neville he just looked at me and started laughing.

"Yuk it up, Longbottom, that's right. I know I'm an idiot, but I plan on sharing the wealth. I'm going to tell Titus that the sponsorship for the Christmas party should rotate between all the clubs. Guess which club I'm suggested should go next year?"

Neville shrugged. "If we have again next year. This might go down as one of the biggest failures at Hogwarts, right up there with…"

"With what, Nev?"

"Don't know. I'm not sure if there was a potential failure that large; I'm sure you'll manage. Well, besides all of the, um, you know, when I was…"

_The Voldemort era. Right, nowhere close_. "Wasn't there a love potion outbreak a few years ago? I think I heard something about that."

Neville nodded. "Particularly nasty. We had to pull Filch off of Minerva McGonagall."

"Oh shit." I laughed. "Now that would have been interesting."

Neville elbowed me and pointed towards the student tables, and I saw Lavinia walking towards us with a letter in her hand. "Expecting a letter?"

I shook my head. "Not at this time. Wonder what's up?"

Lavinia stood next to me and handed me the letter. She leaned in and whispered "The headmaster asked me to give you this. I forgot to earlier today because Ruby 'n me were talking about the dance, sorry."

I nodded and as soon as Lavinia left I opened the letter, and after quickly scanning it I felt the blood drain from my face. It didn't take me long to realize things were about to get interesting, to say the least. "Sonova…Nev, c'mere."

He leaned in close. "What is it? Something from Melody?"

I kept my voice as low and steady as possible. "No, Edith at the Ministry. Two more Muggle Studies professors are missing, one from Ragnarok in Minnesota and another from Maine. Fucking hell."

I didn't want to arouse suspicion, so I quickly ate without really tasting anything and as soon as I could I made my way to Titus' office. After saying "fefferplot," the name of some weird flowering plant that Neville gave Titus I made my way into his office and found him reading at his desk.

"Ah, Hank. I expected you sooner."

"Blame the Christmas dance. Lavinia got caught up talking about it and forgot to give me the letter until supper." I sat down quickly in a chair in front of his desk. "Gavin, what the hell is going on? All the letters I'd received from the other magical schools said they were taking precautions."

He nodded gravely. "That was the plan, but as you can tell from the letter, not all plans go, well, according to plan." He scratched his head, making the tufty hair stand even more on end. "I've been in contact with Auror Robards. Tomorrow you have a meeting with the, ah, concerned parties at the Ministry. Take the day."

I nodded and then rubbed a hand across my forehead. "Why can't this year be like last year? I mean, it was just regular Hogwarts. Nobody tried to kill me, nobody got kidnapped, it was just good old regular Muggle Studies."

Gavin shrugged. "I'm not sure, Hank. Please give me a report on the things you can tell me when you return." His expression changed from the concerned look to a happier one, the one the kids called the Happy Granddad look. "I understand Muggle Club is sponsoring a Christmas dance. That should be interesting."

"We just went from kidnapping and crap like that to dance planning?" I took off my glasses. "No transition, just right into that?"

He chuckled. "There are some, ah, more pressing needs than planning a dance, obviously, but I would like to keep things as normal as possible for the students. Now, what are your plans?"

I spent the next half-hour going over my thoughts, how I'd incorporated the music into my seventh years' lessons and the idea of rotating the sponsorship between the different clubs. The only problem was that the next Muggle Club meeting was the next night, and I didn't know how long I'd be at the Ministry, so Titus solved the problem by saying he'd have Neville cover for me which cheered me up immensely. That would teach Neville for giving me a hard time."

* * *

Early the next morning, right after breakfast I used Titus' fireplace to Floo over to the Ministry. I didn't know how long I'd be there so I wore my regular Muggle Studies teaching clothes, complete with my robe that I'd received from George years ago, the one with the spell-reflecting material. I didn't expect to be attacked at the Ministry, of all places, but it was the first thing I found that morning. Edith was waiting for me as I arrived at my office.

"Good morning, Professor. Tea?"

"Hell yes. Good morning to you too, Edith."

I went into my office and found two new files on my desk, one for each of the missing Muggle Studies professors. I had just opened the first file and read the initial page of the report when Edith returned with my tea and sat down in the office chair.

"Professor, I should warn you, the meeting this morning will be rather interesting. A representative from the UMS arrived last night and Auror Robards isn't too happy about it."

I squinted at her. "Why would Robards be irritated? It's not his country that all of the professors are…what's the problem?"

"Well…" Edith glanced outside quickly. "The UMS Aurors want to go public, tell their story to the press. Robards is afraid if they do that it will cause him a lot of problems, actually, that it would cause you a lot of problems."

I rolled my eyes. "Great. How come I get the feeling I'm going to have Auror shadows again?"

"Shadows?" Edith sat back. "I'm not sure what you mean."

"When I first came to Britain I had Aurors following me around, to make sure nothing happened. Melody and I called them Auror shadows."

A knock on the doorframe surprised both of us, as we jumped slightly in our seats. "Sorry about that, Professor, if you could follow me they're ready for you." A woman about my age stood in the doorway and her face was familiar but I couldn't remember her name.

"Um, could you give us a minute first, please?" When I looked over at Edith she didn't seem concerned, so I felt more at ease. After the woman left the doorway to the office I got up and headed towards the door; I leaned over and whispered to Edith "what's her name?"

She motioned for me to lean closer. "Scarlet, she's Harry Potter's assistant."

"Thanks." I straightened up and walked out to meet Scarlet. "Ok, so where is this meeting?"

She shook her head. "That's why I'm here. If you'll follow me I'll take you there."

_Great. Another hush-hush meeting. This couldn't be good. _I took a look at my watch and saw the face show a thundering set of dark clouds. _Fuck_.

Instead of going to Harry's office or Robards' office I followed Scarlet through the offices until we arrived at an elevator I'd never seen before; that in and of itself was not surprising, as I barely knew my way to my office, but when I turned over my badge and thought of the meeting Edith's map didn't work. The red dot just blinked on the blank white underside of the badge.

"Where is this meeting, Scarlet?"

She didn't respond; instead she looked at me and shook her head. "You'll find out soon enough. Into the lift."

I got in the elevator and after she entered the doors closed. Instead of selecting a button to go to a specific floor Scarlet selected a series of buttons, which all lit up in a bright green color and once the correct sequence had been pressed or something they flashed yellow and then stayed a steady red color. I expected to feel the elevator move, but nothing happened; we didn't go up, down, forward or back. I looked over to Scarlet but she didn't pay any attention; instead she kept looking at the buttons. I followed her lead, and after what seemed like an eternity the buttons flashed yellow and then returned to all green. A few seconds after becoming green all of the lights went off and it looked just like an ordinary elevator panel. Well, as ordinary as they get in the Ministry.

When the doors opened Scarlet stepped out and I followed her. I'm not sure what I expected but I wasn't ready for it, as there were no lights that illuminated the whole room; instead there was just an inky blackness except for a cone of light that surrounded a table with chairs and several people. A small path of light seemed to shimmer and fade below our feet, and it was on that path that Scarlet headed over towards the table, so I followed. When I got closer I could see Robards, Harry and Ron at the table with another woman, as well as Terry Boot and a young woman who sat close to him.

"Here we go, finally." Robards stood up from the table. "Thank you, Scarlet. We'll take it from here."

She nodded and headed back towards the elevator door which glowed with a faint yellow light. I headed towards the table and stood by the chair next to Harry, but he didn't say anything. _Shit. This was going to be fun._ "Um, where the hell are we?"

Robards sat down and shook his head. "Everywhere and nowhere. Don't worry about it, just sit down, shut up and listen." After I complied Robards turned towards the people I'd never met. "The lady across from you is Bernice Glenn, she's heading up the investigation over in the UMS for the AAB. You know Boot, of course, as well as these two idiots" Robards waved his hand towards Ron and Harry "but Boot hasn't even told me who the little lady sitting next to him is, so I guess we'll all find out at once."

"Little lady? Are you serious?"

The woman sitting next to Terry Boot had an incredulous look on her face, and for a minute I thought I was back in my first year Muggle Studies class when we all had musical hair, because the woman looked like she'd just come from a goth club. Black leather everywhere, dramatic eyeliner and eye shadow, black teased hair and dark lipstick. Definitely not the usual look for a witch.

"My name is Miranda Fleming, and I work with Terry. Little lady. Lovely."

Her sarcastic tone was funny, but I couldn't laugh. I glanced over at Terry but as always he was unreadable and silent.

"Don't get your knickers in a twist Miss Fleming; we've got more important things to discuss. Right then, let's get started."

When the meeting finally broke up Harry tapped me on the shoulder and pointed towards the elevator. After everything that I'd heard I wasn't going to disobey, that was for damned sure. Once we finally got on the elevator and he repeated the process that Scarlet had done earlier I couldn't contain it anymore.

"Jesus, Harry, are you sure about this? I mean, really?"

He nodded. "Unfortunately we are, Hank."

I shook my head. "I've never hated anything in my life as much as the goddamned WLF and those Knights of the Wand bastards."

"We don't know for sure it's them, Hank. I'd put a Galleon on it, though. But like Ron said, something's not quite right. The evidence Agent Glenn found is somewhat of a puzzle, as Ron thinks it's too easy."

"How can Ron think that someone is trying to blame the WLF? We know what those assholes are capable of."

"Yes, Hank, but this doesn't seem like their pattern. Look at it this way; you'll have plenty of opportunity to check for yourself after the Christmas holiday. I think the AAB will take a month to get their surveillance into place, so it will most likely be in February. That gives us time to coordinate things with Malfoy. Should be an interesting trip to say the least, and fortunately the AAB has agreed to hold off on going public until after your visit and the debrief." All of the sudden Harry laughed quietly and shook his head. "And you have to tell us all about Boot and Miranda Fleming."

The elevator began its reverse-light-process flashing thing and we stopped. I followed Harry out of the doors and into the regularly lit Ministry. "Boot and the goth chick? What do you mean? You think they're together? He didn't act like it, I didn't see anything…"

"Not Terry, Hank, Miranda. Boot is almost impossible to read, but she had a couple of small giveaways. I can't wait to talk to Ron about it, he'll be thrilled."

We were almost to my office, but I couldn't let that go. "What do you mean, Ron will be thrilled?"

Harry put his hand on my shoulder. "Terry had a crush on Hermione when we were at school. I don't know about you, but can you imagine Hermione looking like that?"

As we entered my office I got a mental picture of Hermione Weasley, Madam Undersecretary Weasley, sitting in her office in the Ministry looking like she'd just attended a Cure concert, and I couldn't stop laughing.

* * *

After talking with Edith briefly I decided that I'd better head to Colony House and talk to Melody; after all I had a lot to tell her. I took the Floo home and when I got there it was strangely quiet, and due to the conversation I'd heard earlier I was nervous as hell. I called out her name but nobody answered; the only thing I heard in the house was Spit answering my call to Melody with a whine and a few barks. I went into my office and let him out of his crate, and he bounced around for a while until I said the magic words "go outside" and then he ran like mad to the back door. I let him out and watched him bound around the yard looking for squirrels, but eventually he did his business and headed back over to me. When he finally came back I let him in, returned him to his crate and realized that I was going to have to go to the Melody's office again.

When I arrived, this time looking like my usual self, I got lucky as it was a different receptionist, one I'd seen several times, so she smiled and waved me through. I headed towards Melody's little office, but when I got there it was empty. Great, now what? I sat at her desk and began looking for something to keep me occupied. I picked up the frame and looked at our wedding picture, and then saw the photo of us from one of the Potters' New Year's Eve parties. I put the wedding picture back and looked at my watch; almost time for lunch, and thankfully the face of the watch seemed to be less cloudy and ominous as a few rays of sun peeked through the clouds. I flipped open the planner on the desk and saw Melody's entry for this morning that said "staff meeting – mandatory" and realized that whatever had happened at the meeting it was running long. I chalked it up to the staff trying to figure out what to put on the cover of the next magazine or something similar.

"Hank! I should have known." Melody walked in and sat down in one of the visitor's chairs. "I felt my bracelet tingling earlier and a few minutes ago it was rather intense. Oh Hank, I have so much to tell you!"

"Same here, I just had a weird meeting at…"

"Hank, I'm the new editor-in-chief!" She was bouncing in her seat. "Can you believe it? Margaret decided to move to the board instead of retire, really no possible way she can retire, she's invested so much of herself here and Merlin knows what would have happened without her guidance, but she made me editor-in-chief! I've got so much to do, especially before the baby gets here, and I figured out a way I can work from home while she's small, they've got a process as you can imagine, as I'm not the first person here to have a baby and I certainly won't be the last, I think Nadine's expecting but she hasn't said anything yet because I accidentally saw her drinking one of those horrid morning sickness potions, I won't start until the beginning of the year as we want to have an easy transition point and you know the December issues are always packed full of things, and…"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Breathe! Congratulations, love, that's wonderful. I'm pretty sure my news won't be as good."

She looked at me sharply and adjusted her glasses. "What do you mean, Henry? And why are you here? You didn't get sacked did you?"

I shook my head. "No, I didn't get fired. I just got back from a meeting at the Ministry, well, not immediately, I went home first and let out the dog, but…" I glanced at the door. "Can you close that and do the nobody hears anything spell?"

Melody took out her wand, closed the door and after a quick wave looked satisfied. "Hank…"

"The UMS sent an AAB agent over, actually the person in charge of the missing Muggle Studies professor case. Mel, two more professors are missing. It's not good, and there was a big argument over whether or not to go to the press. Robards convinced the AAB lady to keep it quiet, but, um, I think you should plan on being gone in February. Robards is sending us over there to do some research, sorta. The Malfoys will be going, too, but Terry Boot and another Invisibles agent are going to be around, kinda like Auror shadows. Mel, they've got some evidence that points to the WLF, but Ron thinks it's been planted to throw people off the trail."

As I was talking I could see Mel's expression turn from interest to irritation. "So they're sending us to the UMS, potentially as bait once again, to try to draw out the WLF or whoever is doing this WHEN I'M PREGNANT?"

"No, no, no, not that. I thought that, too, and I threw a giant fit. Told Robards there's no way in fucking hell I would even think about doing it if that was his plan. They're sending an Auror team with us just to be sure, and they're taking all sorts of precautions. We'll only be there a little while, and only in New Orleans. They've got teams going to the other sites, but since we know New Orleans some and there's the connection between Aunt Charlotte and Draco, they think it's worth investigating. Plus, shit, Miss Gradenko has been putting personal ads in the paper again, in New Orleans."

"Who?"

"The person who posts things in the newspaper, Mel. The one who uses Muggle songs?"

"I'm still not very pleased. I don't give two Gnuts if Robards is the head of the Aurors, if I run into him he's going to get a piece of my…I don't know if I…"

"Mel, love, its ok. We'll be fine."

She shook her head. "Hank, I'm very proud of you for wanting to help, but face it, love, you're not much of a wizard. If something goes wrong you won't be able to do much. This is a job for Aurors and the Invisibles, not a professor."

"I know, Mel, but it's different. The Muggle Studies professors that are missing are the ones that have adopted my book. There's some kind of connection and I'm involved, even Ron thinks so. Besides that, the Ministry asked me. The government asked me. This is my country too, now, and when my country asks I answer. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't try to help. And Mel, Terry Boot's going, and if my impression counts for anything he's as much of a badass or more than Rolf is, and Rolf is fucking scary when he wants to be. I'm not going to let anything happen to you or the bump, I promise you that. I don't care what the hell happens, I will take care of you, and you can wave your wand and make shit blow up or whatever but I don't care if I have to use a goddamned rock I'll make sure you are ok, do you understand? Mel, they've made it personal, and I'm going to do whatever I can to help."

I didn't see her face to notice her reaction because I got up and walked over to the window. "See all that out there, Mel? People walking around in robes with weird hats and shit? That's my world now, and yeah, I don't always get everything and I can't always do everything, but I belong here, in this world with you and the bump and however many other bumps that may happen. And I'm going to make sure that the bump goes to Hogwarts and rides brooms and plays Quidditch and goes to the Christmas Dance…oh yeah, we're sponsoring a dance in a few weeks, forgot to tell you about that." I turned around to see Melody giving me a completely different look than earlier; instead of being upset she looked almost, well, proud.

"Hank, I'm sorry. You sounded like…my Dad would be…ok, Hank. I'm sorry. But you have to admit, the stakes are higher than they used to be."

I nodded. "I know. That's why I'm going to see what I can do to practice until we leave."

"Practice?"

"Yeah, Mel. Practice. The guns."

She sighed disgustedly and then her eyes popped open wide. "Did I hear you say something about a Christmas Dance?"

"Oh yeah, get this. Our daughter Lavinia helped persuade Titus that Muggle Club should sponsor a Christmas Dance. She's out of control."

She stood up and walked over to me, put her arms around me and gave me a smirk. "You could have said no, you know."

"Right, sure. You know, I'm hoping the bump's a boy. All you women are devious."

"No we're not, Hank. You men are just slow and easy."

* * *

I hung around the office for a bit as Melody was called away to another meeting and did my best not to be bored out of my skull. Nothing on Melody's desk was very interesting until I found a little notepad that had a page with two columns, one of boy names and one of girl names. Most of them were family names on both her side and my side, but to be honest I didn't really have a reaction until got halfway down the list for boys names. There, on the page was her father's name. Hieronymus Boyd, actually that didn't sound too bad. Definitely a good wizarding name, doesn't have an easy nickname so he could pick his own and more importantly it would honor her father's memory. It went to the top of my list, but I figured I'd keep that a secret.

By this time my stomach was growling as it was long past my usual lunchtime so when Melody came back I didn't have any problem accepting her idea of going to lunch. "So where are we going, Mel?"

She looked at me out of the corner of her eye and smiled. "Just follow me, you'll like it, I promise."

"Please tell me it's not like that one restaurant where we had to…"

"No, Hank. Nothing like that."

I followed her to the fireplace and took her arm. When she threw down the Floo powder and said "Colony House" I could not have been more surprised.

"What are we doing here? I thought you were working at the office today?"

"She shook her head. "I just had to go in for the morning, and then after the meeting things got crazy. I'm here for the rest of the day." She put down her bag on the kitchen table and walked over to the refrigerator. "I've got some things I can whip up, but some take longer than others. How long can you stay?"

"I don't have to be back until tomorrow morning."

She closed the refrigerator and leaned back against the kitchen counter. "Looks like you'll get your birthday present early, then. How does a nice, quiet night in with a special meal and a movie sound to you?"

"Heavenly."

After a wonderful lasagna and homemade bread I couldn't stop myself from thinking how far Melody's cooking skills had come. "Mel, do you remember when all you could cook were eggs? Remind me to thank Molly Weasley."

She knitted her brows. "Henry, honestly. It wasn't all Molly, thank you very much." She sat next to me on the sofa. "Ok, she did the bread, mine looked like a rock. But I did the rest of it."

I put my arm around her and picked up the remote. "It was wonderful. This was a great birthday present, editor-in-chief."

"Thank you, Professor. Now what are we watching?"

"Dunno, anything sound good?" I yawned. "Sorry, early morning and it's been a hell of a day."

"Hang the movie, Hank. Let's call it an early night. The bump's ready to call it a night as well."

Was this the right time? I didn't care. I'm horrible at keeping surprises or secrets. "Mel, I've been thinking about the bump, names actually. I'm still not sure about the girl name but I've got a boy name I like."

"I refuse to name my son Joseph Strummer Boyd."

I pinched her, causing her to jump and then smack my stomach. "Funny. Actually, that's not a bad idea…ok, I'm kidding. I saw your list on your desk, and you've got one on there I like. Not sure about the middle name, though. Mel, if we have a boy let's name him after your father."

Melody looked up at me, surprised. "Are you sure? You've not just saying that to make me go all wobbly in the knees and do something…"

I shook my head. "No, Mel, I'm not. You don't have any brothers to carry on the Bramble name, and…well, I think it sounds good. Hieronymus Boyd. Definitely not a normal Muggle name."


	10. The Importance of Names

**Chapter 10: The Importance of Names**

The Christmas dance was in full swing, Muggle music pumping through the Great Hall when I overheard two sixth year Gryffindor boys chucking about the punch. That made me worried, so I made my way over there. I was standing by the punch bowl trying to figure out if it had been spiked when Lavinia and Willy came over, out of breath and sweaty. "Looks like you two are enjoying the dance."

"Oh yeah!" Lavinia nodded. "This was a great idea, right Willy?"

I glanced over at Willy and he smiled weakly. Obviously Lavinia had much more enthusiasm for dancing than he did. I watched them gather their glasses of punch and before I could say anything Ruby came over and pulled Lavinia away from the table.

"Professor, I don't know how much more I can take." Willy leaned against the wall. "How much longer is this going to last?"

I looked at my watch. "Better rest up, Willy, you've got another two hours to go." I chuckled at his grimace. "Maybe you should go sit down, if she's with Ruby who knows how long that will take. My guess is that Carrick and her are at it again. Do you know…"

"Nobody knows, Professor. I mean, even Lavinia got mad at me the other day because I was talking to Richard and was few minutes late meeting her. It wasn't much, just five minutes, but she was mental. Does that ever stop?"

"Get used to it, Willy. You've been over to our house often enough to know I'm usually in the doghouse. Wait, not literally, I couldn't fit."

"Good one. I'll talk to you later, Professor. I think I'm going to find Richard and sit for a while. If Lavinia comes back will you tell her?"

I nodded, and Willy took that as his cue to go rest his feet. I watched the students dance for a while when I saw Melody coming over to the punchbowl. As she weaved her way through the throng of students I tasted the punch once again and still couldn't decide. "Don't know if you should drink this, Mel, it might be spiked. Oh shit, I just let Lavinia and Willy leave with punch."

"Too bad the bump's here, I could use a drink." She shook her head. "How many times have Ruby and Carrick broken up? I just broke away from her and Lavinia. Honestly, those two."

"Which two, Lavinia an' Ruby or Ruby an' Carrick?"

"Carrick and Ruby. Hank, do you know what set her off?"

Melody absentmindedly rubbed her stomach as she talked to me, something I'd noticed more and more lately but didn't want to mention; I liked watching her do it. "I've given up trying to figure that out. What is it this time?"

"Apparently Ruby overheard Carrick and some of his friends talking about Miranda Fleming. I don't blame Ruby, actually. Can you believe she wore that?'

_Hoo boy, Miranda Fleming. Now there was a topic I'd heard about for the last week_. "The Ministry asked for her and Terry Boot to keep a watch over the school. She's not an Auror so she doesn't wear the boring uniform, but yeah, that is a little out there for Hogwarts." _No shit_. When she walked in with Boot, wearing all white, including the leather trousers and high-heeled boots, that was one thing, but a top showing that much cleavage? "I do like the white stripe through the hair, reminds me of Morticia Adams."

"Don't know her."

"Sorry, Mel, it was a Muggle TV show. It's just so weird, her with Boot. He always looks like a Secret Service agent and she's a wild child. Opposites attract, I guess."

"Well, couldn't Titus make her put on a robe or something? Are you sure that punch isn't spiked?"

"No clue, maybe someone else can tell us. Hey, there's Neville and Hannah." I cupped my hands to make my voice project further against the music. "Professor Longbottom!" I waved at Neville, and he caught my eye. After he and Hannah arrived I poured a fresh cup of punch and handed it to him. "Hey Mr. Chaperone, is this spiked?"

"Isn't that your department, Mr. Dance Sponsor?" Neville took the punch and sniffed it. "Hmmm…well, one way to tell." He tipped the punch back, swished it around in his mouth for a while and then swallowed. "Oh that's clever. Yes, Hank, it's spiked, but I wouldn't worry about it too much. I believe its only jocularis nectar."

"What the hell's that?" I rubbed my goatee. "What's it do?"

"Not much actually, it's an ingredient in love potions. Without being combined with the other ingredients it simply gives a person a temporary sense of things being humorous and fun. I doubt there's enough in there to actually cause any harm, though I would like to know who used it as I'm missing two of the plants that produce the nectar."

Melody tapped him on the arm. "Will it affect the baby?"

Neville shrugged. "Not sure, actually. Best to stay away just in case."

"Bloody hell." Melody shook her head. "I could really use something to drink. Oh Hank? Love?"

"I'm on it. Shut up, Neville." I walked away to find Melody something to drink accompanied by the sound of Neville's laughter.

As I wandered through the Great Hall to find something else for Melody to drink I ran into Carrick; he looked like someone just told him Christmas was canceled. I put my hand on his shoulder and leaned in. "Carrick, go get Ruby a big glass of punch. Get one for yourself while you're at it. Trust me." He nodded at me, confused, but I didn't want to explain. The less I got in the middle of that the better it would be.

Finally I remembered the Muggle sodas that were available on the other side of the Great Hall. That has been Franny's idea, as she said that the Muggle food and drink was always one of the best parts of the Muggle Club party at the end of the year. I'd pretty much cleaned out all of the shops in Stintborough and had to have the rest of it sent over by George. How he managed to do all that was beyond me, but I'd given up on figuring out how George does anything. Unfortunately there was a rather large crowd of boys around the area where the sodas were located. _What the hell was going on?_

"Excuse me, I need to get through." I put my hand on a boy's shoulder, and he moved aside. It felt like walking through the crowd at a college bar after a football game, but eventually I made my way to the sodas and figured out what was causing the commotion: Miranda Fleming. She was sitting on the top of a table, twirling her wand with one hand while talking to Terry Boot. There was a good fifteen foot radius in front of Miranda, as Boot stood there and listened while she talked to him. When she accidentally dropped her wand and bent over to pick it up I heard an audible sigh from one of the boys to my right.

"Ok, that's enough, break it up." I started tapping boys on the shoulder, and they reluctantly moved away. After they had all dispersed I went to the cooler, pulled out two non-caffeinated sodas and went over to Terry and Miranda.

"Aw, Professor, why'd you have to break it up? I was going to see how long they would just stand there." Miranda flashed a big smile at me. Terry glanced at me briefly and then returned to scanning the Great Hall.

"Are you doing this on purpose, Miranda?"

She shook her head. "No, but you have to admit, it was funny." She half-jumped backwards and sat on the table again, causing one of the stragglers to say "Cor!" a little too loudly. As much as it pains me to admit it, I did see what he was talking about, as certain particular body parts bounced suggestively. "Try to be good, Miranda. I need to take this to Melody."

"Oh yeah, how's she doing?" Miranda snapped her gum, blew a large, green bubble, popped it and then continued chewing. "When's the baby due?"

"Early June. Um, I'll see you two later." Miranda waved and Terry nodded almost imperceptibly, so I took that as my cue and headed back to Melody.

I sat with Melody for a while, and after dancing to a nice, slow song we decided to rest for the remainder of the night. It was almost the end of the dance, and so I told Melody I would see her soon, gave her a kiss and headed off to start winding things up. After finding Simon Ranald, the captain of the Hufflepuff Quidditch team and acting DJ, I told him to announce that the next song would be the last song of the night. The crowd had dwindled, leaving only the most dedicated couples dancing as well as a few groups of students at tables, so I figured it wouldn't be too much longer before I could call it a night. That bubble was popped when Headmaster Titus stopped by.

"Professor, as soon as the last song plays I'll work with Mr. Filch and make sure everyone disperses. I think, as sponsor, you should take an extra round tonight as your last official duty."

I pushed my glasses onto my forehead. "Oh crap, I'm a kissing cop?"

Gavin laughed. "Oh, that's a good one. I'll have to remember that."

As Titus began to walk away I said "Remember to give Longbottom the job next year." He stopped and turned, nodded, and walked away towards Argus Filch.

* * *

It was Monday morning at breakfast until I saw Neville, so I didn't have any idea how his rounds had gone after the dance. He'd spent the weekend with Hannah, and I probably could have got away with staying the weekend at Colony House but the fact that I was going to be gone sometime after the beginning of the year in New Orleans made me feel that I couldn't do it without feeling guilty. I was sipping my tea when Neville sat down.

"Good weekend, Neville?"

He nodded. "So you did rounds after the dance, right?"

"Yeah. Why, what'd you find? Or should I say who did you find?"

"Um, have you spoken to Lavinia lately?"

I turned my head to look at him directly. "No. Neville?"

He stammered for a minute and then took a deep breath. "I found them snogging after curfew. You remember what Titus said, I didn't have a choice. Two points taken away for each of them."

_Crap. Lavinia absolutely hates losing points._ "Well, they knew the rules. I would have done the same thing. Don't worry, you did the right thing. I'm not going to say anything to her. I might let Melody know later, but for right now I'm just going to stay quiet and see if she brings it up. Thanks for telling me, though."

"So what are you holiday plans, Hank? Is your family visiting?"

I shook my head. "I thought Mom and Dad were going to come over, but they decided to go to Ted and Candice's place since Chip is two this year." I saw the confused look on Neville's face. "Chip's Ted and Candice's boy. Mom said they'll come over before the Melody has the baby. Tinney's coming in and Lavinia's going to be with her, so we'll probably have a quiet Christmas."

Neville nodded. "Hannah and I are doing the same thing. Gran's not getting any younger, so we want to spend as much time with her as we can. My parents…" Neville looked down, obviously upset. "Hank, my parents aren't doing very well, either. I'm not sure how much longer…it's…"

My voice was quiet when I answered him. "You don't have to say anything, I understand. You know, if you and Hannah wanted to come over that would be great. You two are always welcome, plus it wouldn't be anything big, probably just a chance to relax and get away from the craziness of the holiday. Don't answer yet, you don't have to. If you and Hannah just show up that would be great, but if you just want to relax I completely understand. Remember that if you come early I'll probably be in my robe or asleep. You know I'm not a morning person."

"Thanks, Hank. I appreciate that."

The next few days went by in the typical manner, homework, assignments, grading parchment, rounds; the boring routine that was only undercut by the excitement of the impending holiday break. Lavinia seemed nervous in the first Muggle Studies class after the weekend, but I didn't say anything about her losing points so things resumed as usual. I could have said something, but really, if the worst thing she did at school was get in trouble for kissing her boyfriend past curfew after a dance then I would consider myself lucky. Two things did my attention, however. One was that when the list went around for students to put down their names for staying at Hogwarts I noticed that Peter Sawgrass' name was at the top of the list, and the other was that I was receiving almost a daily owl from Molly Weasley. The book signing/workshop for the genealogy book at Flourish & Blotts was scheduled for the Saturday before Christmas and Molly was kind of freaking out. It was during breakfast on the day before the break when I finally got the letter that broke the camel's back.

I'd been chatting with Cho about something inconsequential when Molly's owl, which I was very familiar with at this point, circled around the Great Hall and landed on the table in front of me.

"Oh for the love of Pete, another one?" I reached over and gave the owl a bit of sausage then removed the letter. After a quick scan I shook my head. "I don't know how Arthur has done it for all those years."

"Another letter from Mrs. Weasley?" Cho gave me a smirk. "If I may ask, what's the question this time?"

"Yeah, it's from Molly. This time it's about what to wear, since she just knows _The Daily Prophet _will be there and she wants to look her best, but she doesn't want to look too much like a Muggle or a witch, and…good grief."

Cho shook her head. "Was that all? Just the clothing question?"

"Dunno, didn't get past that part." I picked up the letter and began reading, but something caught my attention in her next paragraph. "Huh. Hadn't thought of that." I looked over to Cho and she had a questioning look upon her face. "Ok, this is actually interesting. She said that she used the processes we talked about in the book to see if there were any magical genealogies for the Boyd side, and she found plenty, but nothing that she could trace to the Boyd side of my family. My Dad's family showed up in America in the early 1800's, but that's it, we can't find anything on them. None of the Muggle stuff, and I've tried a bunch of times when I was working on the book. She's wondering if there's a reason for that, and to be honest I don't really know."

"Well Hank, I wouldn't worry too much. It's a very important question but I'm sure Melody can help advise her on clothing." Cho smiled at me and then laughed.

"Funny. Real funny, Cho."

* * *

After Friday's classes I met Lavinia for the trip back to Colony House. Since the weather was typically awful we decided to take the Floo from Headmaster Titus' office. I had left the door open to my room in anticipation of her arrival and was doing some last minute things when I heard a knock on the door.

"Lavinia? Why'd you knock? You don't need to do that."

She walked in quietly and sat down in my big green chair. "You didn't say anything about my losing points. Are you mad at me?"

_Mad? Oh crap._ "No, Lavinia, I'm not mad. I'm not thrilled either, but I understand. I figured I didn't need to say anything to you about it, I know how much you hate to lose house points. Sorry if you took that to mean that I'm mad at you, because I'm not." I watched her play with the locket that Melody and I got her the first year we were her guardians. "I haven't said anything to Melody and I'm not planning on it. You didn't get detention, you didn't hurt anybody, you just…well, um…yeah. Just be smarter next time, ok?"

"Thanks." She exhaled deeply. "Do you know when Aunt Tinney's getting in?"

"Um, tomorrow, I think. I probably won't be there when she gets in; I have to be at Flourish & Blotts tomorrow. You packed and ready?"

She nodded. "I packed last night so Nonky would be able to take it first thing this morning."

_Nonky?_ "Wait a sec, Nonky helps you out, too?"

"Yes, he's quite helpful. You know, Professor, I think he might like to spend Christmas with us this year. I know he comes over for a while, but maybe he'd like to stay this year."

"That's not a bad idea, Lavinia. Let's find out." I stood up from the desk and went over towards Lavinia and leaned on the back of the chair. "Nonky, can you stop by for a min…"

As usual I didn't get to finish the question, as he arrived in my room with the customary loud pop of Apparition. "Yes Professor Muggle, you need Nonky? Nonky can help."

There he was, as usual, with his big eyes and floppy ears. Instead of one of my concert t-shirts, though, he was wearing a Holyhead Harpies t-shirt. "Um, yeah, Nonky when did you get that shirt?"

"Mistress Melody gave it to me, she did. Nonky helped clean for the new baby's room, very clean. Nonky did a good job helping."'

_Baby's room? Helping?_ "Nonky, when did you do that? And wait a sec, did Melody call you?"

Nonky looked nervous, as he began wringing his hands together. His eyes were wide, trying to decide what to do. Luckily all the time we'd spent with Nonky telling him that house elf self-abuse was not permitted paid off, as he suddenly sat down in a heap in the middle of the floor. "Mistress Melody is going to have Professor Muggle's baby, and Nonky's job is to help Professor Muggle so Nonky helped Mistress Melody so Professor Muggle didn't have to do it."

Even in the circuitous logic that is house elf logic I understood. Nonky was helping me out by helping Melody. "It's ok, Nonky, it's fine, really. Thank you, I appreciate that. Just don't let her take advantage of you. Now, the reason I called you up here is that Lavinia and I want to know if you'd like to spend Christmas with us."

Confusion spread over Nonky's face. "Nonky does spend Christmas with Professor Muggle and Mistress Melody."

"True, but you come back to Hogwarts. How would you like to stay with us over the holiday? I'm sure we can find someplace that you'd like to stay, we've got spare bedrooms and…" Nonky nodded rapidly, gave Lavinia a big hug and disappeared with a loud pop. I looked at Lavinia. "Come on, we'd better get going. Can you imagine what will happen if he just shows up and tells Melody he's there for the holidays?"

Lavinia and I beat Melody and Nonky to Colony House, thankfully, so there wasn't the big "what's going on" discussion that I feared. Lavinia and I had just put our things away and were watching TV when Melody arrived looking very pleased with herself. "Good, you're here. I have some news. Guess what? I sold my house."

"What?" I took off my glasses. "Why did you do that? And why didn't you talk to me about that first?"

Melody's chin went down and she looked at me over the top of her glasses. "Henry, when was the last time either of us went to my old house?"

"Shit, I don't know. I thought you didn't want to sell it? So where are Tinney and Lavinia going to go when Tinney comes to visit?" I looked over to Lavinia, and then back over to Melody. "Of course they can stay here, but…"

She held up her hand. "You didn't ask me who I sold it to, Hank."

"Fine. Who did you sell it to, Mel?"

She winked at Lavinia and then turned to me. "I sold it to Tinney. Of course I made it a very reasonable price, but that's not important. Now we've got a little…"

Melody was interrupted by the loud pop that always preceded Nonky's arrival. I had to stifle a laugh when I saw him, as along with the Holyhead Harpies t-shirt a Santa hat perched on his head accented by two green ball-shaped Christmas ornaments that hung from each ear by red string. "Happy Christmas, Mistress Melody, Professor Muggle and young Mistress Lavinia!"

Melody took a look at Nonky and then gave me an odd look. Luckily I was saved by Lavinia who suggested that Nonky could help her put up some additional Christmas decorations. After they left the room Melody took off her coat, hung it up by the door and walked over to me. She tapped me on the chest with her index finger.

"I think an explanation is in order."

"Same here, Mistress Melody."

She tried to look angry, but failed miserably. "Hank, the ornaments…"

"I know, love. Ok, come on now, why did you sell Tinney the house?"

She motioned over to the kitchen table, and I sat down while she started to make tea. "I'd thought about it before, but after receiving a letter from Tinney a month or so ago I started thinking about it more and more. Hank, you know Lavinia has a fund set up for her at Gringott's, for when she comes of age. Tinney's worried that it won't be enough for her when she leaves Hogwarts. I offered to help, but I'm afraid I offended Tinney. Hank, I've always grown up with, well, you know. My family has always been well-off. I didn't think about it when I offered to help but Tinney took that as a sign that we thought she couldn't provide for Lavinia."

"Mel, that's not it, and…"

"Just let me finish, Henry." She took the whistling kettle off the burner and began pouring the tea. "After I realized what had happened, and how that might have looked, I wrote her another letter. Its fine now, trust me. But that made me think that it would be hard for us to do anything like we'd like to for Lavinia without making Tinney look bad. I know how it works in the wizarding world, but where did you live when you finished school, Hank?"

"High school or college?"

"Um, high school. Whichever one that you would be the same age as when students leave Hogwarts."

"With my parents, at least until I went to college. After I started college I lived in the dorms and off-campus in a crappy house with five other people."

Melody nodded. "Exactly. What will Lavinia do?"

"Live with us, I guess. Either that or go to Australia."

"I don't think Australia will happen, Hank." Melody added the sugar and milk and then handed me a cup of tea. "So that would mean she'd live with us. Did you like living with your parents when you were that age?"

"Shit no. I hated it. Wait, is this what I think?"

"Tinney and I know that Lavinia won't move to Australia. If I just gave Tinney my old place she would resent it, but if she buys it from me when Lavinia leaves Hogwarts it will be her house. Of course we're not going to say anything to Lavinia about this, are we, Hank?"

"Are you sure you weren't in Slytherin?" She stuck out her tongue at me and I laughed. "I get it, I get it. So when Lavinia leaves Hogwarts it's a present from Tinney, and Tinney can feel good about it because she's bought the house so it isn't charity. You didn't sell it for too much, did you?"

Melody gave me a look that told me she thought I was being thick. "I had a land agent give me a quote for what it would sell for if we put it on the market, and then I took off 35% for a family discount. I had the paperwork all drawn up and made the contract so that Tinney pays the land agency, not us. I wouldn't feel right about that. Besides, Hank, I know you pay absolutely no attention to our finances as you're so busy filling young heads with things like microwaves and Muggle music, but thanks to my new promotion at Witch Weekly, your Hogwarts salary and your book sales, not to mention the percentage we own of George's shops, we're doing quite well. Oh that reminds me, Mum is coming over later tonight. She won't be able to have her normal Boxing Day tea, as Uncle Reggie is not feeling well, so she's going over there this year."

I took off my glasses and sat them on the table. "So right in the middle of a very nice conversation about something nice we're doing for Tinney and Lavinia you drop an 'oh by the way' that Lane's coming over tonight? Nice."

"I know, Hank, I know. She's been bothering me about the nursery, but I told her I was going to take care of that on my own."

"Don't you mean with Nonky's help?" I raised my eyebrows at her and she sighed. "Don't worry, he explained it all. He's staying over the holiday with us this year. Thought it was the least I could do since you drafted him as your partner in fixing the nursery. Is it ready?"

"Almost. We painted two of the walls blue and the other two pink, just to be on the safe side." She started twirling her hair with her fingers and looked towards the direction of the nursery.

"Out with it, Mel. You're doing the hair thing again."

She looked miffed and stopped twirling her hair. "You know I don't realize I'm doing that, honestly. I think we should tell Mum the names we've chosen."

"Tonight? Don't you want to wait until after your appointment at St. Mungo's? You still want to find out the sex of the baby, don't you?"

She looked down at the table and began tracing the handle on her teacup. "I'm not sure, Hank. I think a surprise might be best."

I closed my eyes for a moment. After the conversations and 'spirited discussions' we'd had over that topic I thought that we had settled the issue, but here it was again. "You know what, love? Whatever you want to do on that is fine with me, I'm good with it either way. I'm just happy we decided on names."

* * *

When Lane arrived via Floo it was interesting. Shocking, actually, as for the very first time in my life Lane Bramble was not dressed as if she just stepped out of a magazine. She had on a pair of faded green trousers, a white button-up shirt underneath a black jumper and an old pair of black hiking boot looking things on her feet. That was odd enough, but she didn't have on a lick of makeup, wasn't wearing any jewelry and her hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail.

"Mum? Are you ok?"

I could hear the worry in Melody's voice as she went forward and received Lane's embrace. As soon as they broke apart I stood up and you could have knocked me over with a feather as Lane gave me a large hug. When she let me go I held her at arm's length. "Lane, cup of tea or something stronger?"

"Thank you, Hank. I believe I'll have a firewhiskey if you have it."

I went to go get the firewhiskey, and when I returned Melody and Lane were sitting on the sofa. I sat the bottle on the table, and when I went to go get glasses Lane waved me off, pointed to the chair and then proceeded to pull the cork out of the bottle and took a large swig of firewhiskey.

"Merlin's pants, Mum! What's wrong?" Melody put her hand on Lane's arm. "Mum?"

Lane took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Gwennie. I've just been over to your aunt and uncle's. You know your Aunt Emily and I have been after your Uncle Reggie to lose weight for years, and it seems to have caught up with him. If he follows the Healer's orders he'll be fine, but it's a drastic change for him. Gwennie, last night his heart stopped for a moment. Emily got it started again and they took him immediately to St. Mungo's. She contacted me and I went over there as soon as I could. He's fine now, but it gave us all a big scare."

Melody was in some phase of a state of shock as she couldn't say anything. I had heard Lane's story while standing up, so I sat down quickly in a chair next to the sofa. "I'm glad to hear he's ok now. Lane, when's the last time you had something to eat? Or slept?"

"I'm really not sure, Hank." She put her hand to her head. "I'm not sure how I remembered that I was coming over here tonight."

Lavinia walked into the room with her WUMP headphones on, went to the refrigerator and took out a soda, then returned to her room, oblivious. That made Lane laugh for a second, and then she took another swig of the firewhiskey and pointed the bottle in my direction. I took the bottle from her, tipped it up a second, and sat it back down on the table. In the span of time from receiving the bottle from Lane to setting it down I'd made a decision.

"Ok, here's the deal. Lane, you're staying here tonight, no arguments. I'm cooking dinner, we're going to watch TV, listen to the wireless or whatever, but you two" I pointed at Lane and Melody "aren't doing a damn thing, got that?"

"Yes, I am, Henry." Melody pointed a finger at me. "I'm going to tell Mum the names."

"Don't you mean we're telling her the names?" I pointed a finger back at her.

That perked up Lane. "Am I to understand you've decided on the names? Tell me now, please, I could use some good news."

Melody looked at me and smirked. "Ok, I'll tell you the girl's name and Hank can tell you the boy's name. If the baby is a girl her name will be Virginia Minerva."

Lane made a face that I took to mean that she thought it was nice, so I decided to give her a surprise. "And Lane, if the bump's a boy his name will be Hieronymus Robert."

Lane's eyes began to tear up and she took Melody's hand. "Gwennie…your father would be so proud." She kissed Melody on the cheek and then turned to me. "And Hank, you don't know how much that means to me."

"I think we do, Lane." I reached over and took the bottle of firewhiskey and took a small sip and held out the bottle towards her. "I think we do."

* * *

I arrived at Flourish & Blotts an hour after opening, as scheduled. As it was the last Saturday before Christmas there were already a few shoppers, so I had to weave and bob through the displays and bookcases to get to the manager's office. Somehow I wasn't surprised to find Molly Weasley sitting there, dressed in what I gathered was a new deep blue robe.

"I was wondering if you were going to be here on time, Hank." Molly looked at me and I could sense the nervousness in her voice. "Do you think we'll have enough time to get everything ready?"

"Sure, Molly, there's plenty of time. Mr. Toller, are we going to be in the same spot as my book signings?"

The manager shook his head and led us to a little spot in the back of the bookstore where a makeshift working area had been setup. A table had been cleared and there were several chairs available for a small crowd. He informed us that a display of the genealogy book, as well as my other book was in a prominent position to maximize visibility and sales and that the staff had been informed to try and limit the number of workshop attendees to a manageable number. With that he left us, and soon thereafter one of the staff brought us tea and biscuits.

As nobody would arrive for a while Molly and I caught up on our visiting; apparently Arthur had been working on the Anglia again but it hadn't been going well, so he requested that I visit sometime over Christmas holiday. Besides that Molly was intimately involved with her grandchildren and gave me thorough reports on James, Albus and Rose. Then it was the pregnancy portion of the conversation as I filled her in on Melody and she told me that Ginny was being quite unreasonable. Apparently Ginny had reached the end of her rope and told Molly that since it was baby number three she was quite capable of taking care of things, something which Molly didn't believe.

Luckily I didn't have to comment on that as we had our first workshop visitor, an elderly woman who was trying to research her late husband's family and had reached a dead end. After reviewing her paperwork Molly began looking through the source books which Flourish & Blotts had thankfully provided, and after narrowing things down it appeared that either one of the ancestors in question had either changed their name to avoid being arrested or to start over for another reason. Regardless of the specific reason we did find the ancestors the woman was looking for, and even if it wasn't exactly the answer she wanted she seemed fairly satisfied. From there on out it was a steady stream of people, most trying to determine if they had some Muggle ancestors, but after going through the old records they provided and the resource books most of them weren't actually Muggles but ancestors that left the country or died or simply changed their names. There was one woman whose great-grandfather was a Muggle, which gave me something to do, as for the most part it was Molly who was busy.

When the elderly man in a bright red robe sat down I did do a double take, as he looked like Santa Claus; red robe, black boots, gold-rimmed wire glasses and a big white beard. "Can I help you, sir?"

"Professor Boyd, right?" He took out a large book that was crammed with parchment and put it on the table.

"Yep, that's me. Looking for a specific ancestor? Muggle ancestors or relatives?"

"No, boy, I'm not. I think I've found 'em, I'm just looking for proof."

The accent was definitely Scottish, and I found myself wondering if he was one of the old anti-Muggle types or if there was something else going on. "Um, ok, let's get started. What name are you looking for?" I pulled one of the genealogy books over and opened it up.

"Boyd."

That stopped me dead in my tracks. "You know that's my name, right?"

He nodded. "Mine, too." He stuck out his hand. "Thomas Boyd."

I shook his hand. "Hank Boyd, glad to meet you, sir."

After our handshake he reached over and opened up the book. "What I've got here is the family history of the Boyds. You can see the original spelling here." He pointed to an entry in the book for Robert Boidh. "We can trace all of our family through him. He's the first one. My problem is I've got a bit of a mystery further down the road." He began flipping pages until he found the right spot. "Here it tis. See here, Argar and Meltid Boyd have three children. Three, see that?" I nodded. "Now look at this." He pulled a piece of parchment from behind the page and handed it to me. "Read that and tell me if you see my mystery."

I took the parchment from him and saw the obvious crease marks in the page where it had been folded up. It was a letter, and for the most part it was nothing very interesting, talking about the weather and sheep and the construction of a new shed. But when I got down to the last paragraph there was no doubting what his mystery was. "Four children."

He nodded. "That's right. Letter's from a neighbor of Argar and Meltid Boyd who just mentions in passing that the couple just had their fourth child, a boy they named Bhaltair. That's the only mention of Bhaltair Boyd that I can find. No birth records, no death records, no Hogwarts acceptance letters or name on the list. The boy just vanished." He fixed me solidly in the eye. "You wrote about your McDonald ancestors in your book, but you didn't talk about the Boyds. Bring you list of names with you, boy?"

I scratched my goatee for a moment. "Um, actually, yeah, yeah I did. Hold on a second." I leaned down towards my bag on the floor and brought out my genealogy folder. I flipped through for a while until I found my research on the Boyd side of the family. "I'm not sure what good it might do, as I dead-end in America. Furthest back I can get is Walter Boyd, around 1802 when he bought a piece of land in Virginia. I can't find his name on any of the immigration records or anything else.

Thomas Boyd sat back for a minute and sighed. Then, completely unexpectedly he reached up and smacked me on the back of my head.

"Ow! What the hell was that for?"

"Use yer brain, lad. What's the date on that letter?'

I scanned the letter quickly. "1783."

"Hmmhmm." He nodded. "And how old would Bhaltair Boyd be in 1802?

"Ah, um, let's see…nineteen. But the names are different; I don't get it."

"Americans." He shook his head. "Boy, the Scottish form of Walter is Bhaltair."

"Holy shit." I took off my glasses. "Wait a minute, does that mean…"

He nodded. "Yes, lad, Bhaltair or Walter Boyd was a squib. Guess that makes you part of the family. Don't expect a Christmas card. You come by your lack of magical skills honestly, at least."

"Hey, I'm 1.3% wizard. From the McDonald side."

He shook his head, gathered his papers and stood up. "I know you've got questions but I'm on a tight schedule today. I'll send you a letter after Christmas; if you want more information I can give it to you then. Here's my card, I'll be in contact."

I took his card and watched him leave. It was only after Molly tapped me on the shoulder to get my attention that I could finally come back to my senses. I told her the story, watched her shake her head in amazement and finally she asked me about the card. I flipped it over and read:

_Thomas Boyd_

_Attorney_

_Wigganborn_

_Office Hours 10am to 4pm Tuesday through Thursday_

Molly patted me on the arm. "See, dear, you were always meant to be here."

That didn't give me any comfort. Yeah, I might have always been meant to be here, but finding out about the Boyd side of my family also meant that there was a very good chance that the bump would be born a squib.


	11. The House of Bonsang

**Chapter 11: The House of Bonsang**

Christmas went by in a very peaceful, relaxing blur. Tinney and Lavinia stopped by in the afternoon, Hannah and Neville sent an owl thanking me for the invitation but they decided to just relax with Neville's Gran and Melody took a late afternoon nap, which left Lane and I to hang out. It was a good visit, as we talked about our families, and the more stories I heard about Hieronymus Bramble the more I felt confident about the choice of the name if the bump turned out to be a boy. Nonky wouldn't let me cook; instead he took over in the kitchen and prepared a meal that would have taken me hours to prepare. Boxing Day went by in about the same manner albeit with the absence of Lane, who went over to see how Reggie and Emily were doing, leaving Melody and I alone with Nonky. I tried teaching him how to play video games, but that ended in abject failure, so for the rest of the time we watched Christmas movies on TV.

I had planned on helping Arthur with the Anglia but my note to him was returned with a small letter suggesting that Molly was not the most enthusiastic about the project; Easter break was the next opportunity and Arthur hoped that would work out better. In other Weasley or former-Weasley news it was baby number three for Ginny so she had no problem whipping up the usual Potter New Year's Eve party, but Melody decided that she didn't really feel up to it so we stayed home and didn't do anything. We didn't even have a teenager in the house as Tinney planned on attending the party and seeing Charlie Weasley so Lavinia stayed over with Ruby. It was another quiet evening at Colony House, and to be honest I didn't mind at all.

January crept up on everyone suddenly; before we knew it Lavinia and I were back at Hogwarts, back once again into the routine of papers, examinations and lectures. It was the middle of January, and despite April being called the cruelest month I decided that it was January instead. Crappy weather, the holidays were over, my students were still on break in their heads…it wasn't a lot of fun.

It was on a lazy Saturday morning when a knock on the door changed all of that, though. I was sitting at my desk grading parchment with the door open when I heard the knock.

"Professor Muggle? Letter for you, sir."

Lizzie Little, one of my Gryffindor Muggle Studies students stood at my open door. _Why was Lizzie bringing me a note? Usually one of my Hufflepuff students played mailman. _"Thanks, Lizzie. Um, how did you get the letter?"

"Professor Longbottom said to give it to you." She walked in, handed me the letter and then left.

I opened the letter quickly, wondering why Neville would be sending me something since his room was not too far away in the castle. After opening it, though, I knew right away.

_Hank,_

_I apologize for the subterfuge, but I believe that any correspondence between us is being closely observed by opposition elements. As we discussed previously, the time for the family visit to the UMS is rapidly approaching. I am in the process of working with the Auror department as well as other interested parties to confirm our tourist trip, but I have been advised that prior to this excursion we are required to do a preliminary visit. _

_An additional letter has been sent to Headmaster Titus to inform him of your impending absence. We will depart for the UMS on 28 January via the Ministry. Please prepare yourself accordingly and only impart the true motivation for your absence to Melody. _

_Unfortunately I cannot convey any further details regarding our trip at this time. I hope this missive finds you and Melody in good health and spirits, especially Melody. Astoria will visit with Melody when we are absent to make sure she is doing well. _

_Once we are safely within the Ministry I will brief you fully on our endeavor._

_Draco_

Holy shit, a trip before the trip. I sat down the letter and took off my glasses. This was definitely going to be interesting.

* * *

At the crack of dawn on the 28th I took the Floo into the Ministry, looked at my badge and began my wandering through the offices to my little office. I thought that I would remember how to get back to my office, but it had been so long that I'd forgotten, so Edith's cleverness saved me again. I knew it was too early for her to be at her desk, and I felt bad for her since it had been ages since I'd been to the Ministry so I brought in some brownies I'd made the night before and put them on her desk. It was the second batch of brownies, actually, since the first batch had barely made it out of the oven before Melody fell on them. I assured her it was quite all right, since she was pregnant and could eat what she wanted, but when she spread butter on the top of the brownies and then shook out a sizeable sprinkling of pepper I knew that I was dealing with something quite different than just wanting to eat a few brownies. She was in full-on pregnancy eating mode and I just kept my feet and arms inside the ride at all times.

After sitting my backpack down in the visitor's chair in my office I took a look at the files that were on my desk and was disappointed; nothing had changed. There were no new files, no new clippings, photos, or anything else. At least I had my badge, so I thought about the breakroom and made my way over there for a cup of tea. After returning back to my office I drank my tea and looked through the files for the umpteenth time; I had no idea how the Muggle Studies professors hadn't shown up yet or why nothing else had happened. I packed and lit my pipe, and it was while smoking that I heard a laugh.

"Hello, Professor! I knew when I came around the corner and smelled that you were in the office!" Edith walked in, removed my backpack and sat down. "So, how have you been? Anything exciting?"

"I made two batches of brownies last night; Melody ate all of the first round. The survivors are on your desk."

Edith let out a low whistle. "You really do lead an exciting life, you know. So what brings you into the office today?"

I shrugged. "No clue, actually. Got a letter to show up here today so here I am. What about you? What's been going on lately?"

Edith proceeded to tell me about the amazingly boring work she was currently assigned from the Auror's office. Most of it consisted of updating records, filing complaints that had been sent in and adding new information about arrest records and the like to the bad people list. She called the list something else but I didn't catch it, but it was enough that I got the drift.

A noise outside my office caught our attention, and when Edith leaned around the corner and I craned my head to see the cause neither of us was surprised; Ron Weasley stood at Edith's desk, hastily chewing and replacing the cover on the brownie container.

"Sorry. Couldn't help it, skipped breakfast this morning." Ron walked over to the office and leaned on the doorframe. "You ready, Hank?"

"I guess. I mean, I have no clue what I'm doing." I looked over to Edith as Ron stifled a laugh. "Yeah, yeah, funny, I know. Ok, Edith, I guess I'll see you later." Edith handed me my backpack and I walked forward to her desk, stopping to open the brownie container. "Ron, did you just eat three brownies? How fast did you eat?"

"Hey, I told you, I skipped breakfast, mate."

"Don't feel bad, Melody did the same thing. Are you pregnant, Ron?"

"Shut it, come on."

I followed Ron and eventually we arrived at Robards' office, waved in without a word by Robards' assistant. What I assumed to be everybody was already there, so I said hello to Robards, Harry and Draco and then sat down. "Right, I'm here. So does somebody want to tell me what the hell is going on?"

Robards leaned forward and began to say something, but he stopped and looked at Ron. "Weasley, is that chocolate on your mouth?" Harry laughed as Robards shook his head while Ron quickly wiped the brownie crumbs from his mouth with his sleeve. "Now that we're all tidy, let's get started. Boyd, you and Malfoy are going over to the UMS, New Orleans actually, to do a little recon work. The AAB boys know you'll be there and once you get to the rendezvous point you'll be contacted. Apparently the codeword for this little outing is Secret Eagle." Robards shook his head. "Secret Eagle, Merlin's pants. Anyway, you'll be contacted and given the full brief. Right now what you need to know is that they've got something that's put their knickers in a twist. I would have left them to it, but apparently your sister-in-law convinced them this was up your alley, Professor, so we're sending you over there. Malfoy's going to do a little work of his own, but for right now it makes sense that the two of you have a little trip. Ok, that's all you need to know, everything else will be explained by the AAB. Malfoy's got the travel arrangements so stick with him like he's one of your Harpies Harem. Secret Eagle, bloody hell."

* * *

After we arrived in New Orleans via the last portkey I was ready to lose what little I had left of my breakfast. Portkeys are bad enough, but several international portkeys? Bleurgh. Draco, though, looked as if he'd just been slightly inconvenienced by something negligible.

"So where are we, Draco?"

"New Orleans, obviously. We're supposed to find a hotel called The Vanishing Spectre."

"Fuck me. I know the place, Melody and I stayed there on our honeymoon. Come on, I actually know where I'm going for once."

After we arrived at the Vanishing Spectre the wizard behind the counter checked us in, handed us our keys and directed us towards the top floor. The elevator that I remembered from my honeymoon was out of order, so Draco and I schlepped up all seven floors to our destination. When we finally arrived Draco got out his key and unlocked the door, forcing me to finally take a look at my key. Draco had opened room 702 when I looked at my key I saw the same numbers.

"We're sharing a room? Tell me the Ministry can afford more than one room."

Draco glanced at me and smiled. "Yes, I'm quite sure the Ministry could afford a second room, but I believe the accommodations should be sufficient."

I followed him through the doorway and was pleasantly surprised; our room or suite consisted of a large living room kind of area with doors on two sides. One door led to a bedroom while on the other side two doors led to the second bedroom and the bathroom. The big saving grace was that we were in New Orleans in January, so the weather was decent enough. Regardless, the large ceiling fans loped around slowly, feebly distributing a slight breeze.

I put my backpack on one of the beds and met Draco in the living room area where we sat in large, overstuffed red brocade chairs.

"Ok, now what, Draco? What's next? What can you tell me?"

Draco took out his wand and moved it around for a while, and after deciding that sufficient security measures had been enacted he put his wand away and crossed his legs. "Robards received a letter from a Lieutenant Davis in the AAB. Apparently they've found something connected to the missing Muggle Studies professor from Laveau here in New Orleans. After consulting with Lavender Boyd the AAB determined that your specific skill set would be advantageous; I am here as they also indicated that the clue is somehow connected with some of my previous research. I cannot say more than that, as I am, unfortunately, as much in the dark as you are. Another reason that I am accompanying you is that it will provide a plausible cover story as well as grant you some measure of protection from magical assailants."

I nodded. Once again my lack of magical abilities raised its ugly head. "Hey, I'm not completely defenseless. I've got my guns."

Draco raised an eyebrow. "Yes, but even those would not be a satisfactory deterrent to a witch or wizard. Our duties right now are to simply be tourists and genealogical researchers. The AAB will contact us shortly."

I noticed Draco's smile was genuinely enthusiastic. "Ok, that's freaking me out. Why are you so happy, Draco?"

"I'm quite anxious to see New Orleans. Since your information about Aunt Charlotte Malfoi I've done quite a bit of reading."

I rubbed my hands together. "Oh boy, this is going to be good. Let's go get some fried alligator."

* * *

As we sat in a little restaurant on Bourbon Street I wished I would have brought a camera; there, across the table from me was Draco Malfoy, famous or rather infamous Slytherin, eating fried alligator and wearing blue jeans and a green cashmere sweater with a white shirt. He'd loved the first bar we went to, especially as the place had a live zydeco band, but most of all I think that he enjoyed being out and about without the sideways glances, dirty looks and cutting comments that always seemed to follow him in the Wizarding world. Instead of being the son of Lucius Malfoy in New Orleans he was just some blonde English guy playing tourist. If Lucius' ghost could only see him now.

He tipped his beer slightly in my direction. "You know, Hank, I think I could get used to this."

I nodded. "I completely know what you mean. New Orleans is different than most places, and for some reason I can…you know how I get lost everywhere, right? Shitty sense of direction? The French Quarter is the only place I can actually find my way around easily, it's like I've lived here all my life. No clue why, but even when Mel and I were here on our honeymoon and drank way too much I could find my way around. Plus, I mean, shit. The Quarter? The Garden District? It's just fucking cool." I took a drink of beer. "Plus it's supposed to be one of the most haunted cities in America."

"Interesting." Draco leaned forward. "In regards to ghosts I believe you know my experiences, at school and at home. I wonder if the ghosts here are like the ones I've previously encountered?"

"Shit, one way to find out. Let's go get a booze-and-whatever out of that slushy place we saw earlier and go find out. Why not, I mean, we haven't been contacted, we're tourists, right?"

The ghost tour we stumbled into was, frankly, disappointing. It was like a combination of all of those supposedly scary stories you heard at camp as a kid combined with a lot of walking. It didn't help that it wasn't very late, it was out of season for the good ghost tours and the weather was somewhat chilly, so both Draco and I were frankly unimpressed. After our tour broke up Draco and I headed towards the Vanishing Spectre, both of us complaining about how lame the tour was. We passed by several people on the street but out of the corner of my eye I saw a man, around thirty years old or so, wearing a dilapidated old hat and a grimy coat. I didn't pay him any attention, but when Draco and I walked another block there he was again at the corner of the next street, leaning against a wall. _Wait a fucking second…_

"Draco, I saw that guy a couple of blocks ago. There's no way he could have made it here ahead of us."

Draco stopped walking and turned to me. "Are you sure? We've had a lot to drink."

I nodded. "I'm positive. Draco, he must have App…" I never had the chance to finish as Draco put his hand over my mouth. When he released it I glanced over at the man who was still leaning against the wall, this time twirling something in his hand that was obviously a wand.

"It appears our mystery man has made the first move. Let's find out for sure." Draco nodded at me and we walked towards the man.

"Y'all looking for a real ghost tour? Not one of those Muggle tours?" He grinned broadly at us, and even in the darkness between the street lights I could see he had a large wad of chewing tobacco in his cheek.

"Muggle? What is that?" Draco had his hand in his pocket when he addressed the man.

"Oh come on, y'all are wizards. I heard ya say something about the Spectre, that's a wizarding hotel. So what do you think? Want to see a real New Orleans haunted house?"

Looking back Draco and I should have simply declined and walked away. After all, we were there on an assignment from the Ministry, there were missing Muggle Studies professors and we were waiting to be contacted by the AAB so we really had no business following some strange New Orleans non-Muggle to a haunted house. Of course we did the exact opposite. Perhaps that bourbon, rum and pineapple slushy wasn't the best idea, as it seemed to completely freeze my brain.

After paying the man one hundred good old US of A dollars we followed him around the Quarter until we reached a very large, dilapidated and ornately decorated house. The wrought-iron fence was very tall, trees loomed around the residence and the closest street lamp was not working, casting the whole property in a very deep gloom. As far as I was concerned it sure as shit looked like a haunted house straight out of a horror movie.

"So, would y'all like to hear the story on this here house?" The man leaned to the side and spit out a thick stream of tobacco juice. "Sure as hell beats those Muggle places."

I fished into my jacket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes that I'd bought earlier that night and lit one up. "Ok, I'll bite. What's the deal with this one? Why is it special?"

"You sure you ain't a Muggle?" The man looked at me strangely but seemed more convinced when I reached into my jacked and pulled out my wand. "Mmm, guess you ain't a complete Muggle. Where you from?"

"Not New Orleans." I exhaled. "The story?"

The man leaned against the wrought iron gate and began spinning his story. The family that had built the house was a wizarding family but they used Muggle servants. It was against the rules even back then, but they were a powerful family and ignored the laws. It became well known in the area that the family was not a good family, they were rude and aggressive in their business dealings but they had quite a bit of money. Even more damning was the fact that whenever a Muggle went to 'work' at the house they were very rarely ever seen again. The incident that caused the house to be haunted happened when one of the family mistreated a maid. Nobody knew exactly what happened, but the Muggle servants tried to escape, among other things. That night people said they saw a lot of flashing green lights in the house, heard people screaming, all sorts of bad things. When the wizarding authorities showed up to investigate the next day there were dead Muggles all over the house, the family has barricaded themselves in and tried to fight their way out, sparking a large scale wizarding battle Even the Muggle police showed up but they were obliviated and sent on their merry way.

"So what happened to the family inside?" Draco took a step closer to the wrought-iron fence. "What was their name?"

"Bonsang." The man ejected another stream of tobacco juice on the sidewalk. "Means good blood, what they thought they were, purebloods and all of that other crap. What happened to them? Well, they fought like hell, took out a lot of good people, but eventually only one old woman was left. She pretended to give up, but when they got over to her she set herself on fire with her wand. Whatever spell it was they couldn't counteract it, she burned up laughing the whole time. Final body count was over forty people. Some say the old woman cursed the house so the spirits can't leave, they're still in there, reliving everything over and over." He squinted at Draco. "For another twenty bucks I can get you in there."

Draco looked at me and I dug into my wallet and pulled out a twenty. The man took it from me, pointed his wand at the lock on the wrought iron gate and began a series of incantations. After five minutes and a strange tingling sensation all over my body the lock clicked, the large gate creaked and the man smiled. "If anybody asks y'all don't know how you got in here, it was unlocked when you showed up. Have fun."

* * *

As Draco and I made our way towards the house I jumped as something moved to the right underneath the bushes. Draco pointed his wand at the movement, but almost as fast as he got his wand out he put it away. Two small kittens blinked at us and then ran like hell in the opposite direction.

"Shit, Draco. The story spook you, too?"

"I think it is best if we're on our guard, Hank. I think we've encountered a bit of luck tonight, actually. The spirits in the house, if they exist, may be able to provide some insight on the lesser Malfoys."

_Lesser Malfoys…oh, the Malfois._ I nodded and we continued towards the house. The front door, surprisingly, was fastened with a very simple lock that Draco quickly removed with his wand, leaving us to enter unobstructed. Draco cast _lumos_ and the faint light of his wand, even expanded as much as he could, didn't provide completely sufficient illumination. Shadows and cobwebs enveloped the house, at least the entry foyer, and even though I knew it wouldn't do crap I took out my wand.

We wandered through the house, looking for a sign of the ghosts that were supposed to be there, but nothing appeared or made its presence known. The house was in a severe state of decay; crumbling curtains hung from the wall and partially disintegrated at the touch. All of the portrait frames on the walls were either blackened or empty and the bookshelves sat barren. At that point the sense of dread had dissipated somewhat, so I put away my wand, lit another cigarette and stood by the staircase, leaning on one of the teetering rails.

"Draco, do you really think they'll know anything about the Malfoys?"

"Malfoi! Is there a Malfoi here?" The voice seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere.

I looked at Draco and he had his wand at the ready. I started looking around the house wildly, searching for any sign to indicate where the voice had emanated. I could feel the fear begin to build somewhere around my stomach and eventually it settled in my chest, making it hard to breathe. I almost dropped my cigarette when Draco tapped me on the arm.

"There. By the bookcase."

Draco's voice was low and steady and I followed his directive, amazed as I saw a bright red globe begin to materialize in the air, faintly at first but then growing steadier and thicker. I couldn't look at anything else; it was as if I was compelled to watch the red globe change and shift until it began to transform into the shape of an elderly man. The ghost retained its red hue as it glided over towards us and I got a good look at the man's features. He was almost completely bald and his clothing was tattered and ill-fitting, a large drooping mustache covered his entire mouth, but the eyes? The eyes were wide and piercing. It seemed as if he was looking into my very soul and I could not move to save my life.

"Are you Malfois?" The ghost pointed a spectral hand at us. "Speak!"

Draco nodded at the ghost. "That is my name, but my family is from England. Can you tell me about the family that lived here? Do you know of the Malfois?"

The ghost's features contorted into the very picture of rage. "Malfoi, Bonsang, same thing! You did this to us all! You condemned us to this hell hole for eternity! Hell is too good for you; your final hours will be as black as the souls of your family!"

Instantaneously all light vanished from the house. I couldn't see Draco's wand anymore, everything was pitch black. I put my hand in front of my face and I couldn't see a fucking thing. "Draco! Draco, where are you?" I shouted but could only hear my own voice. I realized that I still had my lit cigarette in one hand and brought it up to my face but I couldn't see the lit end! _What the fuck was going on?_ I tried to take a step forward, as I remembered that I was close to the staircase but I didn't come in contact with anything. After taking a few more steps I didn't touch anything; it was as if I was in a perfectly empty space.

I held my hands out in front of me to find something, anything that would give me contact with something real. After about ten steps my foot struck something and I went down quickly, landing on all fours. Even though I knew I should stand up I couldn't will my body to do so; the fear was overwhelming. _Fuck. So this is how I'm going to die, trapped in a house in New Orleans while my pregnant wife worries about me all the way over in Scotland. Or maybe I won't die; maybe this is what will happen forever, an eternity of blackness and fear. Fucking hell._

I'm not sure how long I stayed there, on my hands and knees, hope fading fast. I couldn't hear Draco even though I called out to him over and over until my throat was almost hoarse. Whatever alcohol that was in my bloodstream had worn off and I was keenly aware that I was stone-cold sober. I pulled out my wand and waved it about, hoping for another miracle spell like what happened at my brother's wedding reception, but nothing happened. I put my wand away and went flat, rolled over on my back and stared into the blackness.

It was very faint at first, but the fact that I could actually _hear_ something made me sit bolt upright. I kept very still, holding my breath to make sure it wasn't a trick and my heart leapt when I heard it again; the cry of a kitten. It must be one of the kittens we'd seen when we entered the house. _If I can hear that kitten, then I can make it out of here!_ I waited to hear the kitten again, but this time the cry was stronger. I concentrated on the sound and began crawling towards direction that I hoped the sound originated from, as I didn't have the strength of will to stand. Again and again the kitten called out, and I crawled closer and closer, moving over something lumpy in the process. I took a deep breath and began moving again until suddenly two green dots faintly appeared in the distance. I stopped immediately, but when the kitten's cry resumed I gathered what was left of my courage and resumed my crawling. The two green dots began to appear more distinctly, taking on the shape of eyes, and the kitten's cries became louder and louder. I crawled closer and noticed that the blackness had begun to recede; faint shapes emerged as if in the middle of thick, black smoke. _I could see more than the green dots!_ This gave me enough courage to stand, and when I did I realized that the blackness seemed to be only about shoulder height. I took a couple unsteady steps towards the green lights and felt an overpowering surge of relief; the green lights were the kitten's eyes. I walked closer and closer to the green eyes, black smoke fading away until finally I was a wall that contained a window that was partially broken. The kitten sat next to the missing part of the window, meowing loudly. I reached my hand out towards the kitten and touched its fur.

The second I touched the kitten all of the blackness fell away as if a curtain had been dropped. Once again I could see everything, even in the non-illuminated house. After being in total darkness the differing shades of grey were as easy to discern as if I'd been wearing night-vision goggles. "Holy fucking shit, kitty. You saved my ass." I reached out and picked up the kitten, a somewhat fluffy greyish thing, and held it in my arms. I petted it nervously and it began purring.

"Hank! Hank, where are you?" Draco's voice rang out and echoed through the empty house. "Hank!"

"Over here!" I closed my eyes and took a series of deep breaths, petting the kitten the entire time. My sense of relief was almost indescribable when I saw the wide, white light of Draco's wand appear around a corner. I felt the kitten begin to crawl up my chest so I put him on my shoulder and took out my lighter, holding it out and keeping the flame going to give Draco a sign of where I was.

"Hank!" Draco walked forward rapidly and took my arm. "We need to leave right now."

"No shit!" I put my lighter away and grabbed the kitten from my shoulder. "Which way?"

Draco took a look around and then frowned. "I don't know where the door is and frankly I don't care. Move away from the window."

I stepped behind Draco and he blasted the window out of the frame with his wand. We waited only long enough to let the glass and wood settle before we both ran out of the house into the cool, fresh air of New Orleans.

* * *

Draco and I didn't say a word to each other as we walked away as fast as we could without drawing attention to ourselves. The entire time we walked I petted the kitten that raised his head to meet my petting and purred loudly. Finally, after we'd made it several blocks Draco stopped and turned to me.

"I don't know how you did it, Hank, but you saved us back there."

"Wasn't me, Draco, it was the kitten." I opened my arms and showed him the little grey ball of fur. "I couldn't see or hear anything and then I heard this…um…" I rolled the kitten over in my arms and petted its stomach. "This little guy. I heard him calling and then I saw his eyes. I followed that until I got to a window where part of the glass was broken away and when I touched him it was like all of that crazy shit just stopped."

"You broke containment, Hank." Draco shook his head, and I could see how pale he was; it was obvious that our experience had rattled him as well. "So you couldn't hear anything? I could hear everything. Voices, I don't know how many, all speaking at the same time, informing me that I was from evil blood and that I would never leave the house, that everything I knew from the outside world had disappeared. They described the horrible things that happened in the house and I watched the old woman burn in front of me. The spirits of the Muggles appeared and began taunting me, informing me that I was another Malfoi doomed to reside in that house for eternity. Then everything changed. That's when you broke the spell, Hank."

"Was it because I'm mostly Muggle? And I'm not a Malfoy?"

Draco shook his head. "Containment. The spell, if it is a spell, I'm not quite sure; the spell condemns the spirits to stay within the house, they cannot leave. The moment you touched that kitten you made contact with the world outside of the house, breaking the spell. That was very deep, dark and powerful magic, Hank. I'm not sure we would have escaped if it had not been for your little friend."

I petted the kitten, who had continued to purr the entire time Draco had explained things. "Well, I'm sure as shit not letting this little guy go, he's staying with me." I looked down towards the kitten and scratched him underneath his chin. "You led us out of the darkness, little man." I laughed. "Virgil, that's a perfect name for you."

"Virgil?"

"Dante's guide through Hell in _The Divine Comedy_. If it wasn't for this little kitten we'd be in hell, Draco."

Draco looked over to the kitten and petted it briefly. "Kneazle cat. Interesting. I believe we should head back to the hotel. I don't know about you, but I believe I've had enough excitement for one night."

* * *

The next morning I woke up with the sun shining through the curtains and little Virgil curled up next to my stomach. In the light of morning I could look at him more clearly, and I could tell that he was a semi-longhaired cat, mostly grey with white on the tips of his ears and on all four feet. I leaned up on my elbow and reached over to pet him, causing him to stretch and yawn widely. "Guess I need to find you some food, Virgil. Should we go see if Draco's awake?" I put on my robe and picked up Virgil, but once again he started to climb up my chest so I put him on my shoulder. It was with my new cat on my shoulder that I walked into the living room area to find Draco drinking coffee and reading the local wizarding newspaper.

"Good morning, Hank. It appears that our nighttime sojourn did not escape notice."

"Morning." I sat down and took the proffered paper from Draco. There, folded back for easy reading was a small story about a disturbance in the Quarter at the abandoned Bonsang house. Some of the usual denizens of the Quarter had been questioned, but nobody knew exactly how the first floor window had been blasted out from the inside.

"When we meet with the AAB I will clear up the matter for them. I received a letter from Lt. Davis earlier this morning; we have an appointment with him in a few hours. The meeting is set here, in our rooms, so we do not have to rush to prepare. May I suggest a cup of this coffee? It's unlike any I have had before, quite interesting."

"Chicory coffee. There's history around it, but after last night I need at least three cups in order to think straight enough to give you some background. For right now it's good enough to say that it's a New Orleans thing." I poured a cup of coffee and leaned back in my chair, the signal for Virgil to descend from my shoulder and settle in my lap. "Anything else interesting in here?" I waved the newspaper slightly towards Draco, and he shook his head negatively.

"I'm afraid not. Perhaps Lt. Davis' conversation will be more illuminating."

It was as Draco expected; the conversation with Lt. Davis was very illuminating. After describing our incident at the Bonsang house Davis explained that the house was routinely broken into for illegal haunted house tours, especially those of visiting witches and wizards, but usually the spirits ignored the guests as they were wrapped up in their own suffering. The local AAB routinely tried to keep unwanted visitors out of the house, hence the complicated locking spell on the gates. We described the guy who took us to the house and Davis assured us they would try to bring him in for questioning. As for Virgil and his role in our escape, Davis simply smiled and said that fate moves in mysterious ways.

As for the reason we were actually there the AAB agent laid it out; there had been a series of personal ads in the Muggle newspapers similar to the ones that had appeared prior to the disappearances of the Muggle Studies professors. They had also picked up a name in their investigation, Grenville Haddingspot. Suddenly things became slightly clearer, as I had heard that name before and Draco nodded knowingly. He was a former Governor of Hogwarts, it was his name that I'd heard when I'd accompanied Rolf Scamander under Harry's invisibility cloak, and Grenville Haddingspot was one of the few people that could be concretely tied to the WLF. Haddingspot had disappeared from wizarding Britain when Titus had been removed as Headmaster of Hogwarts, and Rolf had linked him to Irving Postle as well, the bastard that had wanted me obliviated after my first year of teaching. That was why they'd brought over Draco; he had done the research that had definitively tied Haddingspot to the WLF without a shadow of a doubt. What Haddingspot was doing in the UMS was anybody's guess, but we all realized that whatever it was it wasn't to get an early start on Mardi Gras.

I crossed my legs and moved Virgil to a different part of my lap. "So Lieutenant, what does that mean for us, now? What's next?"

The AAB agent took out two folders from his briefcase. "The Chief has directed me to give you all of our research on Haddingspot and Laveau. Mr. Malfoy, the Chief would like you to accompany the AAB on a visit we have with the Canadians. Professor, we'd like you to spend some time at Laveau, see if you can find anything we're missing. Shouldn't take more than a couple days. Oh, and Professor? Even though your family is close by I have to ask you not to contact them. We're trying to limit Muggle involvement as much as possible. Agent Boyd, your sister-in-law, is overseeing that department and has everything under control. I'm sorry."

I nodded. I understood even more after what happened the previous night, and after all, I'd see my family when the bump was born. _The bump…holy shit, even more reason to do exactly what the AAB said to do, especially after what had happened the night before._ "No problem, Lieutenant. When do we start?"

The AAB agent rose and pulled his dark blue robe around him tightly. "How about now?"


	12. An Education

**Chapter 12: An Education**

The Laveau School looked the same as it did when Melody and I visited it on our honeymoon, or at least the front gate did. The AAB agent who brought me there did some sort of spell that communicated to the groundskeeper that we had arrived and shortly thereafter the gate was opened. The agent told me to send an owl to Lt. Davis when I was ready to leave and left me standing there at the opened gate all by myself. I shouldered the strap to my messenger bag, adjusted my blazer so I would look somewhat respectable and once again stepped foot on the campus of Laveau School.

The long lane that led directly to the Administration building was lined with trees; several students could be seen lounging around and playing with a fanged Frisbee, evidence of Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes worldwide reach. Unlike the Hogwarts students the Laveau students didn't wear uniforms and robes, just normal Muggle clothing, making them indistinguishable from their Muggle counterparts except for their choice of educational institution. As I walked towards the Administration building I was once again struck by the differences between Laveau and Hogwarts; Hogwarts was mostly a self-contained unit, as everything was in the castle for the most part, but Laveau was situated like a college campus. There were separate buildings for certain disciplines, like Transfiguration and Potions, but most interesting part for me was how the Defense Against the Dark Arts building was separated from the rest of the campus by a small stream that ran through the grounds. To access the DADA building students had to walk over a small footbridge and the bridge was known as either the Cursed Bridge or the Kissing Bridge, depending on who you talked to. The more agrarian disciplines, Herbology and Care of Magical Creatures, were set some ways off from the main group of buildings which centered around the Administration building.

I received a few curious glances as I made my way to the Administration Building, but I expected that. If somebody had shown up unexpectedly at Hogwarts I would certainly have heard about it from my students. After entering the building and following the signs I made my way to the Superintendant's office and sat in one of the visitor's chairs by the Superintendant's assistant, who was not surprised to see me. I guessed the AAB must have made them aware that I would be visiting. Thankfully I didn't have to wait too long when the Superintendant's door opened after a couple of minutes and the assistant nodded at me. I picked up my bag and walked in to the office, which surprisingly looked very similar to any other academic office, wizarding or Muggle.

"Professor Boyd, so good to see you again." The silver-haired woman walked around the corner of her desk and shook my hand. "And how is your wife?"

"Very well, thank you Superintendant Cormier." She motioned towards a chair in front of her desk and I sat down. "We're expecting our first in June."

"Congratulations, Professor. That is good news." She took out her wand, closed the door and made several movements with her wand. Her face grew serious almost instantly after completing the spells. She sat down quickly and looked at me very seriously. "Professor, has there been any progress on Mrs. Johnson's whereabouts?"

I shook my head. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Cormier. I don't have any new information, but I know everyone is working their hardest."

"It's just us in here, Professor, please just call me Franny." She sighed and reached for a cup of coffee on her desk. "I am really worried about Susan. Her poor husband is beside himself."

"I can't imagine. Franny, the AAB would like me to spend some time at Laveau; they want me to go through Susan Johnson's things again, just to see if there's anything we missed, and talk to some people. I hope that's ok."

Franny nodded. "We've left her office as it was when she disappeared, as the AAB requested. I'll have to add you to the list of those allowed inside." Suddenly her face brightened. "Professor, since you're here, after you've spoken to some of the staff would you mind stopping by the Muggle Studies building? I'm sure the students would enjoy meeting the person who wrote their textbook. Oh, after you've completed your investigation, of course."

"Hank, please. Sure, that'd be fine. I'd like to start in Mrs. Johnson's office first."

"Of course. I'll have my assistant take you by there. Please stop by afterwards."

* * *

Susan Johnson's office reminded me of Harry Potter's; papers everywhere and a sense of organization and filing that could be called 'chaotic' at best. There were magical pictures on her desk showing her standing next to an older man and waving at the camera, several pictures of dogs and a little house in the country where if you stared at the picture long enough you could see the seasons change and flowers sprout out of the ground and then bloom. For the most part the office was like any academic's office as it was full of lesson plans, quiz and test materials as well as reference books. I was happy to see that all of my books sat on the bookshelf, and when I took down the copy of _My Wand is Useless_ I was surprised to see my signature on the title page. Apparently I'd met Susan Johnson or someone had given her a copy of my book from my book signing in New Orleans on my honeymoon trip.

That was the most interesting thing in the office; I couldn't find anything even remotely resembling a clue. There were no references to the WLF, Knights of the Wand or any other anti-Muggle groups and after looking at my textbook it was obvious from her notes that she'd done something different in regards to the land redistribution portion of the chapter on World War 2. That made sense, as the war in Europe was much different than it was in America, and it gave me an idea in regards to updating the text for a more international edition. I made a note of that in my little notebook and sadly that was the only note I made while in the office.

The staff members that I visited with were uniform in their responses, just not the wording. Everyone was shocked that Mrs. Johnson was missing, nobody had noticed anything different or suspicious, and nobody had received any information. She had been planning her classes when she went missing, and the Potions professor had even had breakfast with her the day she disappeared. All in all it was nice to meet the staff members, but I knew there was absolutely nothing that they could tell me that they hadn't already told the AAB.

It was a little past lunch time when I made my way over to Superintendant Cormier's office, so I joined her in walking to the Student Union building for a bite to eat. We didn't have time to actually discuss my findings, or lack of finding anything useful in Susan Johnson's office or in the interviews as we were interrupted by students several times, asking about Quidditch or the upcoming concert, so by the time we ended up at a small table in a secluded area of the dining hall I had pretty much forgotten the real reason why I was there. After being so used to Hogwarts the differences in my school and Laveau were startling; there were no house tables, it was a cafeteria-style dining hall…pretty much the same setup as my undergraduate college.

Right as I took a bite of my chicken sandwich Superintendant Cormier asked me what I thought of Laveau. I held up my hand for a second, finished chewing and smiled. "Sorry. I can't get over how different it is than Hogwarts. No houses, you've got a campus instead of a castle, no uniforms…I'm sure my students would love it."

Franny laughed. "The grass is always greener…we've had a few students do some research on the other wizarding schools, and they think that Hogwarts sounds much better than Laveau. I'm sure you'll hear something about that when you stop by the Muggle Studies classroom."

"How has that gone so far? I mean, I know what's in the reports and everything, but how has Mrs. Johnson's absence…um, what's been the reaction?"

"A few students were withdrawn from the class by their parents, we had to send out a letter to all parents informing them of the situation and we've had a bit of bad press in the local papers. Besides that the AAB has been around a little more frequently than I'd like. Don't get me wrong; I'm glad they're here, but it really disrupts the students." Suddenly her face brightened. "Speaking of students, would you like to make the Muggle Studies class your next stop?"

"Sounds good to me." I took a drink of sweet tea. "Oh, you have no idea how much I've missed that. Hey, you wouldn't happen to have any boudin balls, would you? Oooh, and fried alligator? Chicory coffee? And beignets…"

Franny laughed. "Tired of black pudding and bangers and mash?"

I shook my head. "No, I like those a lot, it's just…I really miss boudin balls. I can't help it; I'm a slave to my stomach."

* * *

After savoring the last of the boudin balls that were brought from the kitchen I walked across campus to the North Wing Annex building which housed not only the Muggle Studies classes but the Divination and History of Magic classes. Franny told me that the students called the building the "no wands allowed" building since most of the subjects covered in that facility did not require wands. We entered the building along with a steady stream of students and after walking up a flight of stairs we arrived at the classroom. The instructor was at her desk, a very elderly woman with grey hair piled upon her head and she was shuffling through notes when we arrived. Upon seeing us she rose from her desk and greeted us warmly.

"Professor Muggle, I can't believe you're here. Superintendant, this is a great surprise. Oh, I apologize. Pleased to meet you, Professor. I'm Nadine, Nadine Leon."

"Pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Leon. I hope I won't disrupt your lesson plans with my impromptu visit?"

She patted me on the arm, reminding me of the older women from church back in Virginia. "Don't you fret, dearie. I know the students would love to visit with you. I have to say your textbook is so much better than when I taught full time."

"You used to teach Muggle Studies?"

She nodded. "I retired several years ago, but after…the incident, Superintendant Cormier asked me if I could help her out, and here I am."

A bell rang out in the hallway and soon the classroom began to fill up with students. Initially they were quite noisy, but after seeing their Superintendant, as well as some strange man talking to their instructor they were fairly quiet, whispering back and forth.

Franny looked at her watch. "Please excuse me; I have a meeting that I must prepare for. Professor, I leave you in Mrs. Leon's capable hands. Please stop by my office before you leave."

I nodded; after she left Mrs. Leon directed me towards the front of the classroom where she conjured a very comfortable chair for me to sit in. The class' attention was focused on me as Mrs. Leon walked towards the front of the classroom.

"We have a very special treat today, class. As you can see we have a visitor, all the way from England. I'll allow him to do the rest of the introduction. Professor?" She looked towards me and I nodded.

After Mrs. Leon sat in the chair I recently vacated I assumed my normal position, sitting on the front edge of the desk. "Thank you, Mrs. Leon. I do have one correction; I live in Scotland, but no worries. Ok. Before I begin I'd like to ask y'all a question; what do you think about your Muggle Studies textbook, _With the Wandless_?"

I watched the students look back and forth at each other but nobody said a word.

"There is no right or wrong answer; I asked you what you thought of the textbook." I adjusted my glasses. The class looked as if they would be about fourth year students. "Come on, nobody has any comments?" Out of the corner of my eye I saw a hand go up in the back of the classroom. "Yes, you have a comment?"

The classroom filled with the sound of everyone shifting in their individual desks as they turned to look at the owner of the raised hand. A girl with light-coffee colored skin looked at me worriedly. "Are you from the textbook company?"

I bit my lip to stop a smile. "You could say that. I'm looking for ways to improve the textbook, to see what works and what doesn't. The textbook was written in Britain, so I'm wondering if there are some things that might not specifically apply to Laveau. Y'all feel free to jump in; don't worry about raising your hands."

"You don't sound like someone from England. They don't say 'y'all' over there, do they?"

The commenter was a chubby blonde boy in the opposite side of the room from the girl who had raised her hand. "Well done. Yes, I'm not from England. I grew up in Virginia, I only moved over to the UK a few years ago."

"Well the whole thing about World War 2 needs to be updated. We skip most of that chapter. Well, the stuff where the Muggles took away land an' stuff."

This time it was a thin, tall, dark haired girl. I nodded at her. "That's one area I want to fix. You'd think that since I grew up America I'd give that part a US slant, but it's one of the drawbacks of being a dual-citizen, I suppose."

A sharp, loud intake of air got everyone's attention, and the girl who'd asked the first question clapped her hand over her mouth. When she realized everyone was looking at her she shook her head. "Don't y'all realize who this is? You're Professor Muggle, aren't you?"

I nodded. "That's right, five points to…wait, you don't have houses, do you?"

That was the signal for everybody to begin talking at once. I held up my hands and motioned for everyone to quiet down and after about a good minute and a half they finally did. "Yes, I wrote your textbook. Hopefully it's not too boring. I know in my classroom we…"

"Do you really know Harry Potter? And George Weasley?"

I looked over and saw the chubby boy's face, which was wide with surprise. "Um, yeah. I do. They're nice guys."

"What about the Snakeslayer?" This time it was a short little redheaded girl in the front row. "Him too?"

_Snakeslayer? Who the heck was she talking…oh._ "Neville Longbottom? Yes, he's the Herbology professor at Hogwarts and a good friend. Best man at my wedding, actually." I took a look over at Mrs. Leon and she simply smiled at me. I turned back to the class. "You don't really care about the textbook now, do you?" Every head shook in agreement. "Yeah, that's what I though. Shit, so much for my textbook." That caused a lot of laughter and I glanced back at Mrs. Leon, who had a stern look upon her face. "Sorry. That's one of my bad habits. Ok, how about this; I'll tell you what Hogwarts is like if you tell me about Muggle Studies here at Laveau, deal?"

* * *

When I arrived in Superintendant Cormier's office I didn't say a word; instead I sat down in the chair across from her desk, put my head on the back of the chair and dropped my arms straight down instead of using the armrests. She laughed for a few minutes, and when I finally lifted my head back up to a normal human-type position I found her smiling.

"Well, Professor? I take it the students had some questions for you?"

"Oh yeah, they had questions. Absolutely nothing about the textbook. I think Mrs. Leon wants to hex me now, I'm sure I've thrown off her classes for the next week or so. After a while I thought they were just trying to make shit up. 'Yes, Harry Potter has the strength of ten men, actually has four wives and dispatched Voldemort by throwing pixies at him while riding a hippogriff.' Good grief."

"You're obviously not aware of the Potter Adventure series of books, are you?"

"The what?"

Superintendant Cormier leaned back in her chair. "They're supposed to be illegal; they don't follow the normal publishing path and aren't sold in proper bookstores so of course they're the most popular things ever. From what I understand they're fictional accounts of the life of Harry Potter and his friends up to the defeat of Voldemort and they tend to either embellish or outright fabricate events. I was sure that you'd heard of them, as you know Mr. Potter."

I laughed. "No, no clue. I have to get a hold of a set of them before I leave. Any idea where I could do that?"

Franny Cormier pursed her lips. "I suppose you might try Rue Avenue, one of the shops. It's not a very respectable area of New Orleans."

_Rue Avenue?_ "Ok, I'm barely literate with English some days and even worse at French, but doesn't that mean Avenue Street?"

"Precisely. It's an avenue in New Orleans that runs underneath a normal Muggle street. I have an idea where it might be located. Let me draw you out some directions."

As I left Laveau with my AAB escort to head back to the Vanishing Spectre I wondered what Draco would think as well as how Draco would be depicted in the Harry Potter Adventure books. Besides increasing awareness of Hogwarts, the rest of my day had been a complete waste in regards to finding out anything about the missing Muggle Studies instructor. Hopefully Draco had a better day.

When I arrived back at the Vanishing Spectre I was met by Virgil, who after meowing at me quite insistently took my unwillingness to pick him up as an invitation to try to climb up my leg. I'd forgotten how sharp kitten claws can be, so he only made it past my knee before I picked him up. He began to purr almost instantly, and it was while carrying Virgil in my arm that I saw the letter on the table between the two chairs. I picked up the letter, sat down and after Virgil moved to my lap I opened up the letter.

_Hank,_

_The meeting in Canada will stretch on another day. I apologize for not providing you of additional information, but Lt. Davis believes in minimizing potential exposure. Look for my return tomorrow afternoon at the latest. If my return is delayed again I will send word, but if you receive no communication from me do not hesitate to contact our associates in this endeavor._

_Draco_

"Shit, Virgil. Looks like it's just us. Draco's doing his thing, I can't contact Nate or Lavender, I don't know anybody else and this place definitely doesn't have a TV. What do you think?"

I scratched him under his chin and he purred away, pausing only to meow at me briefly.

"You're right, Virgil. Guess it's time to go see if I can find Rue Avenue and get a good book."

* * *

It was obvious that Franny Cormier had more than a passing skill at art but a completely shitty sense of direction and only a passing understanding of how to actually get to Rue Avenue because I had to try six times to finally find the entrance. Yes, her map was exceedingly well drawn but she lacked some of the more crucial details on how to actually _enter_ the place. I figured it meant that she was one of those people who never really went where she wasn't supposed to, unlike me, as I'd found my way accidentally in Knockturn Alley more than once. It was slightly disorienting to find the entrance to Rue Avenue, as when I completed the process of making the stairs display in the middle of the street I was amazed that I could actually do it, it was so complicated. The brick tapping required to enter Diagon Alley was the equivalent of stepping over a line in the sand; Rue Avenue was more like being required to calculate how fast a Quidditch player could go if they'd eaten fish and chips as opposed to seven helpings of treacle tart , but only after you figured in the air speed and what type of broom they were flying.

Regardless of the murky, semi-lit environment I walked into I felt relieved; I was smart enough to get in! Yeah, I did give one smelly wizard a Gnut to help me figure out the trick, but I was smart enough to figure out he was a wizard, so that was good enough in my book. The little street carts selling food of sorts dotted the street every so often, hiding some of the storefronts in plumes of steam and smoke, and while some things smelled interesting I knew better than to try anything. I did attract a few stares, mostly because I was still dressed in my jeans and blazer while everybody else had on wizarding robes in varying shades of shabbiness. I closed my blazer and marveled at the fact that my guns were strapped in tight but yet I couldn't feel them; more than anything I hoped I wouldn't need them.

After passing multiple shops of dubious legality I finally found what I was looking for at the far end of Rue Avenue, almost at the very back of the dead-end street. Woodwose Books & Antiques advertised its wares by having a small book-shaped sign with no words on it displayed over the door. The window, which bore the name of the shop in fading green letters, only showed a small open area as the rest of the window was full of books piled one on top of the other, preventing anyone from seeing inside the shop more than a few feet. I opened the door and immediately heard the creaking of the door hinges combined with a small bell that seemed to ring somewhere off in the distance. Once inside I had to take two immediate steps up to the main floor which contained the cash register and a small chair, but beside that books were everywhere, spilling out of the shelves, piled on the floor blocking entry to some areas, it was like a maze. I walked towards the first bookcase but stopped as a small, wiry man with giant spectacles appeared.

"Can I help you, sir?"

"Um, yeah, I hope so. I'm doing some research, looking for some books on the New Orleans wizarding families. Oh, and I'm looking for the Harry Potter Adventures series." I watched him eye me closely. "Um, they're for my nephew."

"Roll up your sleeves."

"What?" _What the hell?_

He took out his wand quickly. "You heard me, boy, roll up your sleeves."

I unbuttoned the cuffs of my shirt and pushed my jacket and my shirt up to my elbows on both arms. The little man waved his wand across my wrists and peered closely with his giant glasses, his face close to my skin.

"Ok, yer not AAB. Who are you? Ain't seen you in Rue Avenue before."

_Shit, what to say?_ I didn't want to tell him my real name, just in case. I quickly blurted out the first name I could think of. "Greene, Emory Greene. I've been in Scotland for a few years and I'm visiting New Orleans. Couldn't find what I was looking for in the other shops, their selection was awful."

That got the old man cackling. "Boring old places, they don't have my selection, no they don't. I have almost everything and then some. Harry Potter Adventures, you say? Got the whole series. Follow me."

We wandered through the stacks, up a staircase and then through another winding path to another staircase. After finally reaching the third floor I was too busy trying to figure out how a third floor existed on a street that seemed only tall enough for a single story when the man stopped abruptly, causing me to almost run him over.

"Sorry. Just amazed at this place."

He nodded, obviously proud of his shop. "Woodwose has been on Rue Avenue for centuries. Largest selection in the South. Let's see…yes, here we are." He pulled ten small volumes from the shelf, each book half the size of a regular paperback and shoved them into my arms. "Enchanted to display at the optimal size for the reader. Always hated that, one book tried to crush me once. Didn't have on my glasses." He adjusted his eyewear and I almost laughed imagining how large that book must have been. "What else were ya looking for, boy? Old family histories?"

I nodded. "Yeah, that's it."

He smacked his lips together slightly, making a somewhat disturbing noise. "Don't have anything on the Greene family, Virginia, you say?"

I nodded. "Yeah, Virginia. But I'm not looking for the Greene family, got a lot of stuff on them." I remembered the response Draco and I had received at Bonsang House when I mentioned the Malfois and wondered how I was going to bring it up without getting attacked. "You know, I heard about this place out in the swamp, it's a hotel now. The Bon Charme, I think. I'm looking for something on the history of that place, the family that used to own it."

The little man squinted at me and for a brief moment I thought he was going to get his wand out, but instead he took out a small notebook from his vest. He flipped through it for a few seconds before he stopped, turned the page back over and ran his finger down the paper. "You're looking for _Tales and Truths of Louisiana Magical Families_. Funny, you're the second person asking about that in the last few months. Sold my only copy about a year ago and never thought twice about it. Might have a new arrival downstairs, bought a lot of books at an auction. Follow me." He took a look at a pocket watch that he pulled from his vest. "Got ta hurry, boy, almost time for painful poker."

As I followed him I felt my spirits fall; I find out about the one book that might have told me more about the Bon Charme and Aunt Charlotte, and the one place that might actually have it was sold out. We were going down the steps to the first floor when his last comment came back to me. "Sorry, painful poker; what's that?"

He stopped suddenly and once again I almost ran him over. "Virginia must be a sad place to be a wizard these days. Painful poker, boy. Don't bet with those Muggle chips I hear about, its spells." He rolled up his sleeve and I saw the remains of what must have been some painful injuries, as the welts were fading but were still slightly raised on his skin. "Had some bad hands last week."

"Guess so." I watched him roll down his sleeve and we continued towards his desk. Once we finally arrived he took out a large book, opened it to the last third of the pages and flipped for a moment before stopping. "Ah, Georges actually wrote down the new inventory. It's in the back, won't have it on the shelf until tomorrow. Oh." He looked over at me apologetically, but there was something else in his eyes that troubled me. "Looks like da woman who asked about it paid in advance in case we got a copy. Sorry."

_Shit. I couldn't let that book get away_. "Whatever she offered to pay I'll double it."

His face lit up. "For that amount of money I think I might be able to get it out of the back room. Say that we misplaced it or sumthing." He took out a quill and made a mark in the book. "You wait right here, boy, be right back."

I stood at the counter and watched the man disappear towards the back of the shop; as soon as he was well out of sight I took a look at the book on his counter, the one he'd made a note in with the quill. Next to the title of the book was a name, and as soon as I saw it I dropped all of the Harry Potter Adventure books. There, in an unmistakably clear hand was the name Miss Gradenko. _Holy shit._ I quickly picked up my books from the floor and hurriedly began scanning through the first one, pretending to read. _The woman from the personal ads was looking for this book for some reason; what the hell was so important about this book?_ I stopped pretending to look at the Harry Potter Adventures and sat the books on the counter; my mind was spinning. _Did the AAB know about this? Did they even come down here?_ I saw a sign on a table nearby that said "Sale" and wandered over there and began looking half-heartedly at the books. _No matter what that book cost I was going to buy it. Maybe Draco could help me piece it together when he came back, he knew a lot about old wizarding books. But this was an American book, would that matter? Shit, it had details on Aunt Charlotte; it might have more about the Malfois._

Suddenly something on the table caught my eye, motion that I wasn't expecting. I glanced at the book and felt my heart leap into my throat. There, on the middle of the table, a wizarding picture of me sat on my Hogwarts desk, took off my glasses and nodded at the camera. _Sonovabitch, they have a copy of My Wand is Useless!_ I picked up another book and sat it on top of my book, hoping that the little man with the dinner-plate sized glasses wouldn't recognize me. I hurried over to the cash register and got out my bag of money, and in the process of doing that I unlatched the straps on my side holster, just in case something happened and I needed my gun.

I felt the sweat run down my back as I looked at my watch; how long would it take to find that book? I tried to look nonchalant by juggling my money bag in my left hand but I hedged my bet by keeping my right hand firmly planted on the grip of my Beretta. I felt a slight sense of relief when the little man walked towards me carrying a large book with a green leather cover.

"Here it is. Now, let me total things up for you…yes. That'll be thirty Galleons."

_Thirty Galleons? As long as I could get out of there I didn't care if it was a hundred._ I moved my right hand out of my jacket, opened up my bag and counted out thirty Galleons and handed it to the man. He tapped the cash register with his wand, dropped in my money and put my books in a grimy looking canvas bag. "Thank you, I appreciate your willingness to negotiate." I wanted to run out of there immediately, but that would not have been good at all. "You definitely have an amazing store."

The little man smiled, and it wasn't a pleasant sight. "You're quite welcome, stop back again."

I nodded and headed towards the door. Half-way out the door I stopped and looked back. "Thanks, I will. Good luck tonight, hope you get some good cards."

The little old man walked towards the window, turned over the sign so it indicated that the shop was closed and looked at me. "So do I, Professor."

I felt the door slam behind me and heard a series of locks turning. _Holy fucking shit, he recognized me! _ My heart began beating faster than I thought was possible and I began walking down the street as quickly as I could without drawing attention to myself. I pretended to stop and look in a shop window at something, but I was listening as hard as I could to hear if anyone was following me. When it seemed an appropriate time I moved on, the exit of Rue Avenue was almost in sight. A drunken couple of witches veered across my path, causing me to stop momentarily, but I sidestepped them and continued on my way. My head was pounding, my pulse echoing in my head as I felt the first step of the exit underneath my foot. At that point I abandoned all pretense of acting casual and took the steps two at a time and finally, thankfully appeared in the cool environs of Muggle New Orleans.

* * *

I walked rapidly through the streets of New Orleans, not caring exactly where I was or where I was going, I only knew that I needed to find someplace with a lot of Muggles. Eventually I found myself on Bourbon Street again so I ducked into a bar. After finally catching the attention of the bartender I ordered a triple shot of whiskey, downed it and ordered another. After the second one I felt my heart begin to return to its normal pace. I wanted to open that grimy canvas bag and look at the green book but I knew I was definitely in the wrong place and it was the wrong time. I paid my bill and tipped a little larger than I meant to, but at that point I didn't care; I wasn't dead or waking up someplace nasty.

After stepping outside of the bar I lit a cigarette and leaned against the lamppost. All I had to do was to make it back to the Vanishing Spectre and it would be ok. That was it; make it back to the Vanishing Spectre. I started walking towards the hotel when I heard someone calling my name. _Shit_. I turned around to see Lt. Davis of the AAB, dressed as a Muggle, walking towards me from across the street. When he made it over next to me I thought he would be angry, but he seemed relieved.

"Gave us quite a scare. Stopped by your hotel room and we couldn't find you. Front desk said you'd left about an hour before that, but I'm glad to know you just stepped out for a drink. Next time let one of us know, ok?"

"Glad to see you, too. Um, can we go back to the hotel? I'd rather not talk about it right now."

Lt. Davis' expression changed rapidly. Instead of the concerned American he was an alert AAB agent. "Let's go."

The trip was silent until we reached my hotel room. The minute the door was closed, however, Lt. Davis lit into me, telling me how completely irresponsible I was not to contact the AAB that I was leaving, telling me that Rue Avenue was one of, if not the worst section of wizarding New Orleans, that even my precious guns wouldn't protect me against a wizard or a witch that truly meant me harm and generally called me dumber than a troll.

After he finished I nodded. "Think I found something, though. I went to a bookstore and bought a book on old Wizarding families in New Orleans. That's not anything special in and of itself, but the owner had already sold it to a customer. I paid double what the other customer paid for it. When the owner or whatever he was left to go get it I took a look at the name of the person who wanted it: Miss Gradenko."

That got Lt. Davis' attention immediately. I pulled out the book from the bag and began searching through it until I finally found the chapter on the Malfoi family. I flipped through and realized that it was a very, very long chapter.

"How long until you can read that and give us a report?" Lt. Davis tapped his finger on the book. "An hour?"

"I'm a fast reader but not that fast. How about tomorrow morning?"

He nodded. "Sounds good. I'll be by around 9."

As he started to leave I remembered something. "I do have one question for you, though. When I was at the bookstore the man made me pull up my sleeves and waved his wand over my wrist, it seemed like he was looking for something. What was that about?"

He walked over to my chair, rolled up one of his sleeves and waved his wand over his wrist. Moments later the distinct shape of a blue eagle tattoo surfaced, a wand held in its talons as it seemed to take flight. "It's the mark of the AAB. They aren't revealed by normal spells. Sounds like we might have to make a visit to that bookstore, see what the old man knows."

* * *

I spent the rest of the night reading. I ordered supper from room service along with a pot of their strongest coffee, and after finishing my food I sat in one of the brocade chairs and set out a notebook on the little table, determined to find out why exactly this book was so important to Miss Gradenko. Fortunately it didn't take too long, as I knew most of what was in the book from the previous reports on the Malfoi family, the mistreatment of Muggles, the transfer of the Bon Charme, the curse on the family to only have girls and not carry on the Malfoi name as well as the Bonsang house massacre. That wasn't new, but the final page of the chapter? That was interesting. The final page folded out and displayed a family tree, small spindling lines traced the evolution of the Malfoi family, how it intertwined with other wizarding families, names and dates in very small writing. I started making notes of the specific family names that had intermarried, writing down the dates alongside the names, but when I started following one specific branch I stopped suddenly. I flipped open the front of the book and looked at the publishing date, 1902, but I knew that couldn't be right. I flipped back to the Malfoi family tree and there it was, plain as the nose on my face. The names and dates of all the Malfoi descendants, all the way up to the current date. The family tree was enchanted!

That was it; that was the reason Miss Gradenko wanted this book, it would give her all of the names of the Malfoi descendants. I felt as if a puzzle piece was finally found after weeks of looking for it, and after finally giving up and trying to complete the puzzle without that missing piece someone found it in the fridge for some reason. I quickly made up my notes and figured I would call it a night; after all, I'd stumbled across a real, tangible clue. I felt like a damn detective, and when my head hit the pillow I closed my eyes. I'd actually helped.

Of course, due to the combination of excitement and very strong coffee I was wide awake. Brilliantly wide awake. Without a sleeping draught there was no way I was going to fall asleep, and even if I did have one I worried what the combination of the coffee and the sleeping draught would do to my system, so I did what came naturally. I stayed up and read the Harry Potter Adventure series, Virgil snoozing between my feet.

I grabbed the first volume, _Destined for Greatness_, off of the counter and fell back into bed, propped myself up against the pillows and settled in for some entertainment after Virgil tired of me not letting him swat at the pages. Thankfully the book was written for a young audience, so it wasn't hard to read, but I did find myself stopping from time to time, mostly to shake my head and laugh. Young Harry Potter was raised by his loving Muggle Aunt and Uncle Blurpsley, who knew from almost the instant they laid eyes on him that he was going to be the greatest wizard of all time. The story proceeded to detail his youth, how the family doted on him, spoiled him but noble Harry resisted their overtures. Even at a young age he dedicated himself to a severe regimen of physical training, molded his mind so that he could, at age six, move the family car simply by thinking about it. The book continued on in that fashion, combining the origin stories of superheroes, pulp fiction characters to end with Harry waiting at the door for Hagrid to arrive and take him to Hogwarts while his Aunt and Uncle wailed in the background, bereft that he was leaving them.

The rest of the series continued on in that fashion, blending the most absurd scenarios together, fashioning a romance between him and Hermione, showing at every step that he was if not the equal then only slightly less intelligent and steeped in magical lore than the Hogwarts professors, crap like that. Neville was referred to as The Snakeslayer almost immediately upon his introduction as there was apparently some prophecy that said Neville was the born enemy of snakes, that they would tremble and flee at his approach, so the fact that the Laveau student referred to him as The Snakeslayer wasn't hard to believe. And Draco? Holy shit, Draco came off as the absolute worst character in the world. Besides the fact that he was described as a short, pimply little fat kid he seemed to have inherited the worst traits of every villain in literature. Draco swore, he stole, he maimed animals, he had an unrequited love for Hermione, and most of all he actually was the heir of Salazar Slytherin. Ron and the rest of the Weasleys got off relatively lightly, as they were mostly comic relief, especially Ron who seemed to screw up everything, fart a lot and say certain repetitive phrases extolling the virtues of Harry. I didn't know whether to laugh or be offended at how the author had portrayed my friends.

The best book was the last one, the one where Harry dispatched Voldemort. That one made me laugh so hard I thought I was either going to cry or soil myself. The final fight did take place at Hogwarts, they got that right, but instead of how it happened as I'd been told and read it was like a giant Hollywood blockbuster, massive armies of thousands descending on Hogwarts, both Voldemort and Harry in magical armor, their wands turned into lances as they jousted for the future of the wizarding world on dragons. Of course during their fight they stopped and insulted each other regularly, with Harry always taking the high road, but eventually what got Voldemort in the end was that he tried to attack Ginny, Hermione, Luna, Cho and Romilda Vane. Apparently Harry had claimed each of the girls for himself, and the fact that Voldemort was planning on offing all of Harry's potential brides was simply too much as Harry conjured up the spell of all spells. Harry's anger was so great that he went back in time and broke up Voldemort's parents, preventing Tom Riddle from ever being born. The fact that this would completely alter the timeline was not a problem for the author, apparently, as the book ended with Harry walking off in the Hogwarts sunset with his harem of women.

I had just finished the last book as the sun began to rise. I got up, stretched, and walked out of my bedroom, intent on taking a shower and figuring out how I'd make it through the day with no sleep. I had just reached the brocade chairs when the door opened and Draco walked in the room. He looked at me oddly when I began to laugh.

"I take it you had an interesting time while I was away?"

"Draco, you have no idea."


	13. Codename Trouble

**Chapter 13: Codename Trouble**

Draco Malfoy had arrived back in New Orleans much earlier than I had anticipated based on his previous letter. After I filled in Draco about my escapade in Rue Avenue and the book on wizarding families he immediately wanted to view the enchanted family tree. He ran his finger down each of the branches of the tree, scanning over the names until he abruptly stopped.

"A familiar name. Hank, we have encountered Cassandra Palliurum before. She was the witch whose name we couldn't find on any of the magical school rosters."

"Wow. So is that an actual clue? Good grief, I feel like I'm a TV detective. I should really get a trench coat…"

"Why would you need a trench coat, whatever that may be…" Draco looked at me strangely. "A Muggle item, I take it?"

"Yeah, never mind." I adjusted my legs and Virgil moved from one side of my lap to the other. "So what happened in Canada? Laveau was a bust, by the way. Didn't learn anything new…well, I did find out about some interesting books, but they aren't related to the missing professors."

Draco sat back and crossed his legs. "Susan Johnson, the missing Laveau Muggle Studies professor, one of her personal items was found in a shop in Montreal, a small bracelet. After a series of failures searching for anything related to the missing professors the Canadian Aurors received an anonymous tip about the item; it was for sale in a shop that specializes in previously owned jewelry. Subsequent verification proved conclusively that the bracelet belonged to Susan Johnson. Hank, the Canadians and the AAB believe that the WLF is responsible for the abduction of the Muggle Studies professors, as the trail led to a very low level WLF operative. The anonymous tip leads the investigating authorities to believe that someone is working against the WLF. Currently we are not sure of this person's motivation, but the present investigation is concentrating personnel and resources in Canada. I believe we should be able to return home today."

"Thank Merlin." I exhaled deeply. "Lt. Davis is coming over later this morning; he wants a report on the Malfoi chapter of _Tales and Truths of Louisiana Magical Families. _After that the only thing I can think of is Miss Gradenko, what her involvement is, why the personal ads started up again and why she wanted that book. We still don't know anything about her or the ads, and the only thing I can think of is that she didn't want anyone to know she was related to the Malfois. She's probably listed on that family tree."

Draco nodded. "Entirely possible. Are you hungry? I left Montreal rather early this morning and I could use something."

"Hell yes, I'm hungry. Room service?"

* * *

When Lt. Davis arrived I was very tired as even the coffee wasn't enough to compensate for the amount of sleep I'd missed staying up and reading. Luckily I'd already written up everything the night before, so when Lt. Davis needed the info I could mostly hand it to him instead of trying to speak coherently. He didn't have much to give me in regards to Miss Gradenko, but said that the AAB would follow up on it, especially after my discovery at the bookstore in Rue Avenue.

After he left I sat there for a few minutes, trying to figure out exactly why I'd been brought over to New Orleans. Lavender had said something about my "special skills" or some shit being needed, but I really hadn't done anything except luck into a book. My research over at Laveau had turned up two things, jack and shit; besides that Draco had done all the work.

"Professor? What's the matter?" Draco looked at me with a concerned expression. "Something wrong?"

"I'm just trying to figure out why the fuck they had me come all the way over here when Melody's pregnant. I mean, I didn't do anything, really."

Draco gave me a sly smile. "Your name came up during my travels, Hank. Besides the fact that you actually accomplished a lucky stroke in regards to the book you've made some stronger contacts at Laveau and were seen in the wizarding community. The AAB agents I traveled to Canada with asked me about you; they believe that your ability to get on with people from both the wizarding and Muggle communities is a valuable asset, as well as your propensity to insert yourself into difficult situations."

Normally I had no trouble following Draco's language, but I was tired. "So I can BS with anybody and I get into messed up situations, is that it?'

Draco laughed. "Yes, I believe that is an apt summary. Do you know that the AAB agents have codenames for all of us? Mine is Monty, but I'm not sure why."

I laughed. "Monty? Well, there's the whole British nickname thing, plus Montgomery was a British general during World War 2…oh, hold on, that's funny. You were in Slytherin, the snake, Monty Python…hilarious." I started laughing and Draco was obviously confused, so I tried to explain Monty Python and failed miserably but that led to another question. "Hey, what's my codename? I hope it's something cool." Draco's eyebrow rose slightly. "It's not cool, is it?"

"Your codename is Trouble."

"Fuck me."

Three hours later, after a short debrief with the AAB, Draco and I arrived at Malfoy Manor. I was exhausted; happy to be back in the UK, but exhausted nonetheless. Once we'd said hello to Astoria, Draco was convinced that I was too tired to be trusted to operate the Floo and made me go alongside him. I was too tired to argue and obviously too tired to think of what might happen if we showed up unexpectedly at Colony House.

The moment Draco and I stepped out of the Floo Melody took one look at the fireplace and several things happened at once. The copy of _The Daily Prophet_ she was reading flew up into the air, her teacup fell to the floor and broke into several pieces, she screamed in surprise and began to stretch the t-shirt of mine that she was wearing over her bare legs to cover important bits.

"Don't do that!" She picked up the paper and spread it out over her legs as quickly as possible.

Draco's face was red and he looked completely embarrassed. "I'll contact you later, Hank." With that he stepped into the fireplace and Flooed out of there as quickly as possible.

"Um, hi, Mel. I'm home." I squirmed for a minute as a sharp poking inside my jacket was attempting to spoil my surprise. "Ow, dammit, stop that."

"What's wrong with you?" Melody straightened her glasses and let the newspaper fall to the floor. "Hank?"

I reached into my jacket and pulled out Virgil, and once again he did the crawl up my chest until he was safely on my shoulder. "Um, this is Virgil."

Melody walked over to me, reached up and petted Virgil, and then looked me in the eye. "Another cat? Hank, how many animals are you…we already have a dog and a cat, now another cat?"

I leaned down and kissed her. "So you don't want to keep the cat that saved Draco and me from the haunted house in New Orleans?"

That began the long conversation about New Orleans. I filled her in on everything that happened and at various times I thought she was going to hit me over the head with a book or something, as her expressions grew more and more irritated, especially when I talked about the Bonsang house incident and the bookstore. After the Bonsang house story, though, she did take Virgil off my lap and petted him. I showed her the first volume of the Potter Adventure series, and that definitely got her attention. What got my attention, though, was the barking at the back door.

"Hank, would you let Spit in? This should be interesting, another cat. He'll probably go mental."

I went over to the door and let Spit inside, and the Corgi did the whole butt-waggling oh-my-Merlin-you're-home-hello-hello-hello thing. I petted him for a while but when I began to walk over to Melody Spit noticed Virgil on Melody's lap. I braced myself for a repeat of the Churchill incident, the moment where Spit got his name, but the reaction never came. Spit stood on his stubby back legs and put his front legs on the sofa and sniffed Virgil. Instead of throwing a kitty hissy fit or running away Virgil jumped down off of Melody's lap and began walking around Spit which caused the Corgi to turn in a circle to keep eye contact with the new cat. Eventually Virgil sat down and Spit flopped on his belly, back legs out behind him, and Spit did the dog version of a crawl to get his nose close to Virgil. Virgil laid down completely, right next to Spit and the two of them just sat there.

"See, Mel, they get along just fine. It's your cat that's the problem."

* * *

Due to a combination of travel, different time zones, lack of sleep and general craziness once I finally hit the bed I was out like a light. When I woke up Melody was in a different t-shirt, drinking tea and reading the paper while Spit and Virgil slept at her feet. I stretched my back and sat down in one of the comfy chairs directly across from her.

"Why'd you change t-shirts? And don't you have to be in the office soon, or are you working from home?"

She laughed at me and put her hand on her stomach. "Hank, sometimes I wonder about you. It's Saturday, I don't have to go into the office."

_Saturday? Holy shit, Saturday?_ "How long was I asleep?"

"All of Friday. I was worried about you, so I owled Draco Malfoy. He sent a note back explaining how long you had gone without sleep, something you neglected to tell me when you arrived. I thought it best to let you sleep. I also owled Neville, to let Hogwarts know that you were back. They don't expect you until Monday, so don't worry about that."

I could see her smile, but there was something more to it. "Ok, you look like you just, um, I don't know, my brain isn't all there yet. What's got you all weird?"

"Come here."

I walked over to her and when I was next to her she reached out and took my hand and placed it on her stomach. I looked at her oddly, as I didn't understand what she was doing, and then it happened. I felt something move in her stomach, a small kick. I knelt down next to her and put both hands on her stomach. A hand or a foot or some other body part moved, and I felt it go across as if trying to get comfortable.

"Wow."

She nodded. "I know. Amazing, isn't it?"

"Yeah. I mean, I felt Jennifer's kids when she was pregnant, but this is different. Wow." I put my face on her stomach. "Hey bump, I hope you're doing well. It's your dad. We can't wait for you to come out, but you have to stay in there a little longer, ok? Try not to keep your mom up too late, she needs her sleep too. When you get here I'll introduce you to everybody, and you'll have other kids to play with, James, Rosie, Albus…I'm his godfather, so you kind of get to be a god-brother or something, there'll be a new Potter your age…"

"And a new Weasley." Melody smiled at me as I looked up to her. "Hermione and Ron. Late August. The bump will be in same year at Hogwarts as a Potter and a Weasley."

I sat back suddenly. I moved my face off of Melody's stomach but I kept one hand on it to try and feel more movement. "Holy crap, another Weasley? That's great news." Then I had a horrible thought, one that had been nagging at the back of my brain for quite some time. "Mel…what if the bump never gets to go to Hogwarts? I'm a freak of nature, there's no way I should by rights have any magical abilities. The attorney I met at the book signing over Christmas confirmed the Boyd side of my family is full of squibs and Muggles. What…"

"Henry Aaron MacDonald Boyd." Her voice was stern and low. "We've been through this a million times. Merlin, how many times have I told you, don't worry!"

"I know, Mel, but I do worry. Think of it, we'd have to explain to the bump why he can't go to Hogwarts like the kids he's grown up with, think how hard that would be. Cruel, even."

"Oh, so the bump is a he, now?" She cocked her head. "Hank, stop going on about it, I know it will be fine. The bump will go to Hogwarts and do magic and everything else. Not one more word on this. You'll work yourself up into a right state if you don't stop it. Molly said that every witch or wizard that marries a Muggle goes through this, but you're not a Muggle are you? Are you?"

I slowly nodded. "I know. I'm a crap 1.3% wizard."

"Wizard, Hank. Wizard. Remember that." She put her hand over mine and we waited to feel another kick or push, but nothing happened. "Hopefully the bump was asleep for that conversation. I don't want to worry her."

"Her, huh?" I smiled at her weakly and took a deep breath. "Ok. Ok."

The rest of the weekend was wonderfully calm. Surprisingly Churchill accepted Virgil without an issue, so I felt better about bringing the fluffy grey little kitten back with me from New Orleans. Virgil, when he was awake, liked to follow me everywhere so I made the decision that when I went back to Hogwarts I was taking him with me. Hey, if the students got to take an animal to school why couldn't I? Neville and Hannah stopped over on Saturday night and it was just like every other time that they came over to Colony House, completely low key and relaxing. I took it as a massive sign of our friendship when they just showed up unannounced and Melody didn't flinch, especially as she wasn't wearing any makeup whatsoever, her hair was all over the place and she was wearing an old shirt of mine that was stained and frayed at the collar and cuffs. Neville looked as if he'd just walked in from the garden, and Hannah was the same way. It meant a lot to have friends like that.

I did show Neville the Potter Adventure series of books which he was initially angry about, but after reading how far they were from the truth he eventually determined that they were humorous. The one exception was about the Snakeslayer bit, he didn't like that one iota. I wasn't going to show them to Harry, but Neville insisted that I do so; he was convinced that Harry would try and do something about it. Even though Neville insisted that Harry would take it well and would be very calm about trying to stamp them out or control the books somewhat I figured I'd wait until sometime in the future to bring up the topic. I'd heard about Harry when he was angry and seen it a couple of times, but I really didn't want to see what he was like when he was _really _angry.

* * *

Monday morning at Hogwarts was comfortable, like putting on an old, favorite t-shirt. I went up to my room before breakfast, got Virgil settled in and looked over the notes on my desk. Luckily there was nothing to deal with, just an update on my classes from Arthur. Luckily he had followed my lesson plans with a couple of minor exceptions, one being that he spent a whole day on flying cars, but it was nothing I couldn't account for. I watched Virgil settle into my big green chair and decided that what I needed more than anything was a good Hogwarts breakfast.

When I assumed my normal seat at breakfast Neville obviously wasn't surprised as I'd seen him over the weekend but Cho was.

"Hank! Glad to see you're back. How was your trip?"

I squinted a bit. I wasn't sure how much I could say. "Good, I guess. Definitely interesting. I got a new cat, he's upstairs in my room."

"Well, ok." Cho looked at me strangely. "You can't say anything, can you?"

I shook my head. "Not really. Wish I could." I figured I'd change the subject quickly to avoid any improper comments. "So how's your stupid husband? What's he doing lately? Haven't heard from him in a while."

Cho rolled her eyes. "You two are horrible. He's been in London quite a bit lately, auditioning for things. He said he might get a role in a B and B and C show, something about an American killer. Sounds awful to me, but you know how he is."

"It's just BBC, but yeah, I know how he is. Saw Neville and Hannah over the weekend, they didn't have any news. What's the latest here at Hogwarts?"

"I'm afraid I'm in the same position as Neville, as you didn't really miss anything."

When I went back up to my room to pick up my things for class Virgil did the crawl up the leg bit again, so he ended up riding on my shoulder to class. He was sitting on top of my desk washing himself when the fourth years arrived, so that caused a giant commotion, especially for Lavinia. Luckily for the most part he slept through class and I couldn't decide if that was a good thing or not; it was good that he didn't interrupt class, but it was kind of insulting. Was my class that boring?

Things definitely picked up when the seventh years arrived for class. After the usual fawning over Virgil, who I was beginning to suspect was thoroughly enjoying the attention, we settled into our discussion. All of the students took out their _Daily Prophets_, which reminded me that I hadn't seen the paper in a while, and every paper was turned towards the same page. They looked at me expectantly, but when I didn't say anything Peter Sawgrass broke the silence.

"You didn't see the article, did you, Professor?"

I shook my head. "Haven't read the paper today. What's up?"

Liv Wapping handed me her paper. "It's buried in the back. Small article, right there." She pointed to the story at the bottom of the page.

_Are Muggle Studies Classes Dangerous?_

_All official channels, from the Ministry of Magic to Hogwarts, assert that Muggle Studies is an important part of a young witch or wizard's education. We at The Daily Prophet agree, but there may be a dangerous side-effect. The danger does not affect the students but the professors and other instructors, as rumors of Muggle Studies professors going missing have cropped up across the globe. The reports from the UMS and Canada have indicated that Muggle Studies professors are in their posts as expected, but several schools are staffing their classes with substitutes. Requests for comment have gone unanswered, and Hogwarts' Professor Muggle has taken several extended absences from his classroom, most notably at the beginning of the term. Is there a conspiracy or a cover-up regarding Muggle Studies?_

_Headmaster Titus and Professor Muggle were not available for comment at the time The Daily Prophet went to press. _

When I finished reading I looked up and every student was intently looking at me, expecting an answer. "I'm not sure what y'all expect me to say; sounds like _The Prophet_ is trying to stir up the pot, as usual."

I heard a sigh and turned in the direction it originated to see Poesy Phillips rolling her eyes. "Right. More like you can't say anything. We all know you're friends with Harry Potter an' Ron Weasley, two of the biggest Aurors ever. Then there's that Boot bloke and what's her face…"

"Miranda Fleming."

I watched Carrick Frye instantly realize that he should not have offered up Miranda Fleming's name, as Ruby Smythe-Warring hit him with her newspaper.

"Yeah, her." Poesy rolled her eyes. "Honestly, we know something's going on, Professor. You've been gone without a good explanation, nobody will tell us anything and now there's the article in the paper. You told us to read the paper and not to take everything at face value, to make our own judgments and that's what we're doing. We don't believe we're getting the truth."

_Shit. They were doing exactly what I taught them to do, to question what they were told, examine the situation and come to their own conclusions._ I took a deep breath. "I can't say whether you're right or wrong. You're absolutely doing the right thing, reading the paper with a critical eye, top marks there. But I really can't say anything; I want to live to see my baby born."

"I knew it!" Sawgrass snapped his fingers. "Something's going on and you can't say anything, especially not to a bunch of Hogwarts students." He looked at his fellow classmates. "He can't give us any answers; we'll have to figure it out on our own."

_Fuck! Now what? They weren't going to be happy with some stupid excuse that 90% of the magical community would be happy with. How the hell did that story get in there in the first place? What the hell was I going to tell the Aurors? Shit, would I be in trouble? How could I get in trouble, I didn't say anything to the students. _

"Professor?"

I came out of my reverie and looked over to Ruby. "Sorry, yes?"

"Mr. Weasley left off talking about the Muggle legal system, the part about trials."

"Thank you, Ruby. Ok, bring me up to speed, what was the last part you discussed?"

* * *

As soon as class ended I picked up Virgil, put him on my shoulder and went to my room as fast as I could. I wrote out a letter to Harry outlining what had happened, the story in _The Prophet_, the speculation of my seventh years and their determination to find out what the heck was going on. I sent the letter off with Calliope as soon as I could and returned to my office, wondering what the heck I was going to do with my seventh year class. Sometimes I wondered if they were too smart for their own good.

Virgil decided to spaz out while I was waiting. He ran all over my office chasing some invisible object, climbed up my drapes, jumped onto my desk and knocked almost everything off of it. While I was picking things up he ran to the middle of the room, stopped and almost immediately fell asleep. When I picked him up off the floor he was still asleep so I put him on my bed. It was just after I'd put Virgil down for his little catnap that I heard a knock at my door.

"It's open."

Surprisingly Harry Potter and Ron Weasley walked into my room; both of them looked rather irritated.

"Hey, guys, I didn't say anything to _The Prophet _or my students. Not a word."

Ron waved me off and sat down in my big green chair. Harry took out his wand, conjured a chair and sat down quickly. I sat on my desk and looked at them. It was a few moments before anyone said a word and surprisingly it was Ron, not Harry, who broke the silence.

"We know you didn't say anything, Hank. Robards is right furious, though. He thinks it's the Americans."

"So what am I going to say to my students? They know something is up." I looked over to Harry who rubbed his forehead with his hand. For a moment I thought he was rubbing his scar, but I realized after the initial shock that he was rubbing the other side of his head. "They don't believe my reasons for being gone."

"They're smart." Harry stood up and began pacing around my room. Ron and I looked at each other, over to Harry and then exchanged glances again. Both of us knew better than to interrupt Harry when he was pacing. Harry walked around my room a couple of times before stopping and looked at us. "Merlin. Leave it to Hogwarts students to not just blindly accept what they're told. The rest of the wizarding world is busy just trying to make it through the day, but here it's Quidditch and lessons and plenty of time to try and figure out what's really going on."

"Um…" I took a deep breath. "I got them a subscription to the paper, plus there's the whole thing about critical reading, not blindly accepting what's in the paper or the party line from the Ministry. Sorry."

"Like we ever believed half of what was in _The Prophet_." Ron shook his head and nodded in Harry's direction. "According to that rag Harry was public enemy number one."

"Undesirable, come on, Ron, get it right." I saw a smile briefly flash across Harry's face but that died quickly as he picked up something off of my desk. "What the bloody hell is this?"

_Oh fuck._ "Um, I found those over in New Orleans. They're illegal, which means they're the most popular things ever." I saw Ron's confused look. "They're fictional accounts of your school days. They end with Harry defeating Voldemort on the back of a dragon."

Harry started flipping through the book and then disgustedly threw it back on my desk. "I'm sure it's the best bloody thing ever written but I really don't have time for it." He took a deep breath. "Hank…"

A knock on my door silenced everyone. Harry and Ron both turned to me, but I shrugged. After opening the door I saw Headmaster Titus standing outside my room. Titus cleared his throat. "Excuse me, gentlemen, but your presence is requested in my office. You too, Hank."

I ignored the stares and comments from students as I walked with everyone to Titus' office; obviously the fact that Harry and Ron were at the school was going to make somewhat of a stir; hopefully they'd give me a good excuse for my students to explain things, as the whole 'helping the Aurors on Muggle procedures' bit wasn't working anymore. When we arrived in the Headmaster's office it was somewhat of a shock, as besides Boot, Miranda and Gawain Robards my sister-in-law Lavender sat next to Lt. Davis.

"Holy shit!" I thought I'd said it under my breath, but obviously Ron had heard me as he chuckled slightly.

"Weasley! Think its funny I had to be called out of a meeting to come here, do you?" Robards shook his head. "I wonder about you, Weasley, I really do. Now sit down, we've got some plans to make."

I sat down quickly and glanced over at Lavender, but she shook her head slightly. When everyone was seated Robards stood up.

"Right. It's bloody obvious from today's _Prophet_ that somehow the story about the missing Muggle Studies professors is beginning to get out. We've already been over to their office but the wanker that's in charge kept talking about protecting sources and the big cheese said we can't force him to say anything, so we're going to have to take another approach. We're going public."

That made everyone begin to talk at once until finally Robards took out his wand. I looked over to Ron but he was as clueless as I was.

"Auror, excuse me, Agent Boyd is over here with Lt. Davis because we're going to coordinate this with the AAB. The reason we're all here now is that we know that everyone here at Hogwarts, especially Professor Muggle, is going to be a target for the press. The idiots in the Public Relations department in the Ministry have put together a little message that they think is going to take care of everything, but everyone knows how well that goes over, about as well as a pixie in a punchbowl. I don't even want to think what's going to be in _The Quibbler_ after this gets out…"

"My seventh year students saw the article; they're convinced something is going on, especially since I've been gone from Hogwarts a couple of times." I looked around the room. "Hey, they're good students. They can put two and two together."

"Exactly." Robards smacked his thigh with his hand. "And if Hogwarts students start asking questions you better believe there will be others. Professor!"

I snapped to attention as Robards stared at me.

"We're going to tell them you've been working with the Aurors, but nothing about Boot or any other extra toys you might have. Say anything and you'll only have one baby, understand?"

I nodded quickly.

"Good." Robards nodded his head up and down emphatically. "Oh, and that research trip you were planning? That's off now. Davis and Boyd will coordinate anything from the UMS. Ok, I've got a copy of the press release; copies are on Titus' desk. I suggest you each take a look and we'll figure out what to do from there."

As I looked through the press release something started nagging me, a thought at the back of my brain that was almost at the surface, something important but I just couldn't get a handle on it. It was only when I glanced over at Lavender and saw her bracelet that it finally came into focus. "It's deliberate."

Every head turned to me and Ron, who was sitting next to me, elbowed me. "What was that?"

"It's deliberate, Ron. Whoever leaked the story to the press did it on purpose. Didn't you say that, um, one of the things you found over in the UMS was done deliberately? Doesn't make sense that everything would have been kept under wraps all this time and suddenly get out to the press, just like it doesn't make sense that Susan Johnson's bracelet just happened to show up at that shop and it was easily traceable to a low-level WLF flunky. Somebody's playing a game here; they wanted to force your hand. But why would they want to do that? Why would the WLF want to invite more scrutiny? Think about it, would you like the Aurors and the AAB on your ass?"

"And the Canadians as well." Lavender nodded. "It's a good point."

Robards turned to Terry Boot. "Your boss said that you and the little…your partner should continue on but increase your rounds, whatever the bloody hell it is you do. Try and stay out of the limelight. Potter, Weasley, you two will take shifts covering Hogwarts until I can get a rotation setup. I'm sure Headmaster Titus won't mind putting you two up for a while, am I right?"

Titus agreed rapidly, and I found myself wondering what Harry and Ron were going to do at Hogwarts. Before I could remember that I was talking to Robards I blurted it out. "Why are they going to be at Hogwarts? Boot and Miranda are here, and…"

"Bloody hell, Professor. Don't you ever just shut up and listen?" Robards shook his head. "I was getting to that, but since you've decided to interrupt let me fill you in. Muggle Studies professors are missing. You're a Muggle Studies professor. Once it gets out any other crackpot anti-Muggle group besides the WLF will want to make a name for themselves, prove that they belong with the big idiots. The WLF isn't the only group of magical lunatics out and about, you know. Wait, you don't know, or else you wouldn't have asked me such a daft question. Add into that the news that you've been working with the Aurors and you'll be a big prize. Got it?"

_Fuck. I got it, I definitely got it._

_

* * *

_

As the meeting broke up I walked over to Lavender and gave her a hug which she responded to as briefly as possible. "Good to see you, Lavender. Did Nate come over with you?"

She shook her head. "No. He did give me something for you, but I doubt you'll be able to enjoy it as you'd planned." She reached into her blue AAB robe and pulled out something and put it in my hand. "It's at your house. I dropped it off earlier today. Melody wasn't home, so you might want to tell her before she sees it. If she beats you home just blame your brother."

I looked quickly in my hand and saw a Volkswagen keychain with two old style keys. I looked up to Lavender but she shrugged.

"Looks like a brick with wheels on it to me, but he said you'd like it. There's a letter for you inside to explain the modifications he made to it. It's definitely not an Aston-Martin, that's for sure."

I was going to comment on Lavender's new found taste for high end cars but was prevented by Harry, who put his hand on my shoulder. "Sorry to intrude, but it looks like you're getting a roommate for a while, Hank."

I shrugged. "I'm used to your snoring. Lavender, if you can stop by and see Melody. She's getting big, but you didn't hear that from me."

Lavender joined Lt. Davis, and since Robards, Titus and Ron were all deep in conversation I nudged Harry. "Well, roomie, looks like you'll have time to check out those books after all."


	14. Muggle Studies: Threat to Your Children?

**Chapter 14: Muggle Studies a Threat to Your Children?**

Due to the excitement of the day I decided to have supper in my room and was joined by Harry and Ron. Nonky brought up roast beef with all the trimmings so Ron conjured a decent table and chairs. It was while we were eating that I noticed Ron doing something under the table.

"Problem, Ron?"

He shook his head. "Um, no. Giving your cat a little bite. He likes roast beef."

I laughed. "I'm sure he does, Ron."

Obviously Virgil wasn't pleased with the rate of food delivery as he crawled up Ron's leg, moved to his lap and then jumped on the table and started gnawing on a piece of roast beef on Ron's plate. When Ron went to move him Virgil spread his legs and began growling possessively.

"Crookshanks and now Virgil, you have a way with cats, Ron." Harry shook his head and then looked at me intently. "So Hank, these books you brought back. Tell me more about them."

_Great. A topic I was hoping to avoid._ I took a deep breath. "Well, it's not really too weird for me to read about y'all, since you're in the history books, but this _was_ weird. I have no real idea what your school days were like except what's in the official books and that one book that talks about untold stories, but the Adventure Series books are like reading comic books. There's no way that everything in there is true; shit, I bet only about ten percent of it is true. They got the names right, that's about it."

"What else is new?" Ron commented in the midst of chewing, something that Hermione would have hated.

I pushed my glasses to the top of my head. "What do you have planned for tonight? And how long are you staying? Not that I mind the company, it's just…well, it's different this time. The WLF hasn't done anything to me or tried to do anything to me, so I don't see it as a big threat like it's been before."

Harry adjusted his glasses. "Couple of days. The story will be out in _The Prophet_ tomorrow, so we'll just kind of wait and see until then. What was that about tonight?"

I shrugged. "Just thought you might want to read the books. I can tell you what I think of them, what Muggle sources they've incorporated, stuff like that."

All of the sudden Ron's bemused laughter got Harry's attention as well as mine. When we looked at him he pointed to Harry, to me and then to himself. "Look at us crazy blokes, big plans for tonight. All three of us have pregnant wives at home. Wonder if they're going to get together and have a big pregnancy party while we're here reading. I thought I was done with homework at Hogwarts."

* * *

Obviously Lavender forgot to go see Melody, or couldn't go as Harry, Ron and I were interrupted from our reading by Melody's head in the green flames of the Floo in my fireplace. When she said my name very loudly everyone was startled, especially me.

"What is that thing in our driveaway? It looks like a box with windows."

"Hi love. Um, what are you talking about?" I looked at her for a minute before figuring it out. "Oh, Lavender said there was something from Nate." I reached into my pockets and brought out the keys. "No way. Does it have the letters V and W on it?"

Melody nodded. "Right on the front."

I laughed. "I'm pretty sure it's a VW van, not sure how old though."

"Wait a tic, Hank…Lavender was at Hogwarts?"

Even through the green flames of the Floo I could see she wasn't happy. "Uh, yeah." I looked at Harry and Ron. "Can I tell her?"

Harry shrugged and pointed to Ron; he thought about it for a minute and then nodded affirmatively.

"Mel, honey, it looks like all the stuff I've told you about the missing professors is going to be public now. Well, not all of it, but a lot of it. Things might get interesting around here so Ron and Harry are hanging out with me at Hogwarts. Lavender was over here because of the AAB, but she had to go back."

Harry stuck his head close to mine. "Hello, Melody. Um, would you mind contacting Ginny? I'm not due home until tomorrow from this shift, but she might as well know."

"Yeah, can you tell Hermione?" Ron appeared over my shoulder.

Melody's hand suddenly appeared and covered her face for a moment, but then she looked at all of us sternly. "What do you think I am, a bloody owl? Yes, I'll tell your wives. It's a wonder they put up with all your nonsense. If I had to do that as long as they have I'd be barmy. Hank, did you eat all the cheese and onion crisps?"

"I thought those made you ill?" Ron looked at her strangely.

"They used to." Melody made an exasperated sound. "Not any more."

"I don't think so. Did you look in the cupboard?" I tried to sound helpful, but it didn't work. "Behind the…"

"Of course I did!" Melody shook her head. "I've got to go; Spit is trying to eat a plant." With that she was gone from the Floo.

I looked over to Harry and Ron. "Were Ginny and Hermione…"

"Worse." Harry took off his glasses. "With Albus I couldn't do anything right."

Ron sat back and clasped his hands behind his head. "Tell me about it. The last month she was pregnant with Rosie it was like walking on eggshells next to a cranky dragon."

The rest of the evening went by in a pattern of reading, asking me questions and responding to the questions. Harry was initially angry about things, especially the completely romanticized and fictional version of the Dursleys, but once he got into the other books he began to laugh about how completely wrong the books were. When he got to the part about his "harem" he laughed for a good five minutes. Ron, however, kept getting angrier and angrier as the night went on, especially regarding his demotion to humorous sidekick. When he got to the part about how Hermione had a thing for Draco Malfoy he took the book and threw it across the room, got up and walked out into the dark hallways of Hogwarts without saying anything. I looked over to Harry and he winced.

"Wondered how he'd take things. It's taken a long time for me to convince him that he was just important as Hermione when we fought Tom Riddle." He held up a book. "Rot like this picks at old wounds. Give him some time, he'll be fine."

"Sorry, Harry. I should have realized." I took off my glasses and sat them on the nearby table. "Ok, topic change. What do you think's going to happen tomorrow when _The Prophet_ comes out?"

"I have a feeling you're going to be deluged with owls. Look at it this way, your seventh year class will finally get to know some of the things they've been guessing at…not the entire story, of course."

"Right. I don't want Robards mad at me, I'm sure that's not a good thing. I've seen how he gives Ron a hard time."

Harry laughed. "Don't let that fool you; Robards thinks very highly of Ron, he just likes to take the mickey out of him."

* * *

When I woke up very early the next morning my head was in a fog, my tongue felt as if it was magically expanded to take over my whole mouth and I was hot. I half-stumbled into the bathroom and took a look at myself in the mirror and saw my sweaty reflection; there was no doubt about it, I was ill. _Great_. _Perfect timing._ I rummaged around to see if I had any of the Muggle cold medicine in my cabinet but all that was there were a few odds and ends, nothing that would help. I got a quick drink of water and headed back to my bed, only to be met by Harry's slight snoring. A quick look at my clock gave me the reason why Harry was snoring, as it was half four, an hour that normally everyone should be asleep. I climbed back into bed and pulled the covers up tightly. Maybe if I slept for a few more hours I'd feel better.

Of course I was wrong. I woke up to Harry shaking me slightly.

"Hank? Hank, are you ok?"

I rolled over and peered at Harry through my half-opened eyes. "Hmmm…think I have a cold."

"Wonderful timing." Harry ruffled his hair for a moment. "I'll stop by Madame Pomfrey's for you. Just rest."

I put my head against the pillow and closed my eyes; it only seemed a few seconds until I felt another shake on my shoulder. This time Poppy Pomfrey stood next to Harry. Before I could say anything she put her hand on my forehead, stood back and waved her wand over me.

"He's right, Harry. Bad cold, that's all it is." She handed him some potion vials and looked at me. "Hank, drink the vials as indicated, Harry will help you. You won't be at full strength today, so I suggest giving your students assignments they can complete out of class. You need to rest; even the greatest magical minds can't cure the common cold."

After she left I sat up in bed and looked over to Harry, but before I could say anything he stuck a vial of swirling orange liquid into my hand. I popped the cork off and drank it down and almost immediately felt a surge of energy. "Hey, whoa, that's pretty good."

"Don't overdo it, Hank. You'll need your energy after you see this."

I took the proffered paper from Harry and scanned the headline. It was as I had feared; _The Daily Prophet_ was in full on sensational story mode.

**MUGGLE STUDIES PROFESSORS MISSING! MUGGLE STUDIES A THREAT TO YOUR CHILDREN?**

"Fucking hell." I sat the paper down on the bed and reached over for my glasses. Once I had them on I picked up the paper and began scanning the article. The main article was mostly news, relating the disappearances of the Muggle Studies professors in the UMS and Canada with some veiled accusations at the Ministry for covering up the issue. The editorial, though, that was the part that made me angry. The article was under the Editorial Staff byline, helpful to keep the writer's identity safe, and that was a good thing because afterwards I was ready to go after the bastard. The article said that I was a safety risk to the students at Hogwarts and went in depth on all of the "issues" that I'd had since I'd arrived at Hogwarts, the WLF, the incident at my brother's wedding, the attacks the night before Melody and I got married…the writer pretty much said that I was a large inviting target to all anti-Muggle groups. Since I was at Hogwarts, teaching children, parents should be worried that I would somehow involve the students in the damage. I looked up to Harry and it was obvious that he knew what my reaction would be as he shook his head.

"We knew it would be something like that, Hank. Ron's with Titus now, they're crafting a response to _The_ _Prophet_."

Even in my non-healthy state that struck me as odd. "Wait, Ron's writing?"

That made Harry laugh, and it was good to see him do so. "Yeah, don't tell Hermione, but he does a lot of that lately. You should hear him go on about how much writing he does these days." Harry stood up from the chair next to my bed. "You should probably try and pull yourself together. It's going to be a long day."

The combination of Poppy's cold potion and a hot shower seemed to really help, and I was extremely grateful for my enchanted razor, as I conserved energy by just standing in front of the mirror while it did it's work. By the time I was finally dressed and ready for breakfast Ron had arrived back at my room and the three of us headed down to breakfast. I didn't sit in my usual place as I didn't want Cho or Neville to catch my cold, so Ron, Harry and I sat at the end of the Gryffindor table. Thankfully the combination of awe and suspicion having two famous Aurors at breakfast kept most of the curious students away, but Lavinia was a different story. Luckily Harry intercepted her and told her I wasn't feeling well, so she gave me a wan smile, waved and headed back to the Hufflepuff table. When my omelet arrived I dumped as much hot sauce on it as possible, causing even Ron to give me an odd look.

"Helps clear up my head. Pretty stuffy right now." I took a bite and felt the warmth seep through my mouth into what seemed like every pore in my body. After seeping into every pore the sauce then decided to set everything on fire. "Holy shit!"

Ron chuckled and looked over at Harry. "Never had Plimpkis Sauce, right?"

Harry took out his wand and siphoned almost all of the sauce off of my omelet. "Probably not."

I took Ron's glass of milk and drank it down as fast as possible and some of it spilled down my chin. It was in this wonderfully embarrassing pose that Headmaster Titus decided to join us. He took one look at me, looked to Ron and when Ron just pointed to the bottle of Plimpkis Sauce Titus laughed a bit.

"Ah, yes, I recall the first time I had too much Plimpkis Sauce. Ingested a rather large dose on a bet." He shook his head at me and took out his wand. "Open up, Professor."

My eyes were watering as I followed Titus' instructions, and soon I felt a soothing wave take over my mouth. A few moments later I could finally speak again. "Thanks, Gavin."

"No problem, my boy." Titus nodded. "Well, yes, then. I've agreed to a small press conference after today's classes, we'll have it in my office. Hank, Ron will brief you on what can be covered. I've already drafted a letter to all parents, letting them know that Muggle Studies is perfectly safe. Have you seen _The Quibbler_ this morning?"

I shook my head. "_The Quibbler_? What would they write about? I'm not a crumbly horned whatever."

"I think you'll find it very refreshing." Titus stood up and glanced at the students, most of whom were looking at us. "As for your first class today, Hank, I understand from Poppy that you're under the weather. Don't push yourself too hard today, but be as honest as you can with your students. Remember there are some things that should not be put forward, agreed?"

I nodded and Titus clapped me on the shoulder and walked off. After he'd left I looked over to Ron. "What's in _The_ _Quibbler_?"

"Take a look." Harry handed me the paper.

**PROTECT YOUR RIGHTS! KEEP MUGGLE STUDIES SAFE FOR EVERYONE**

Underneath was a rather impassioned plea to keep Muggle Studies going, mostly using MS as an argument to keep the wizarding world abreast with the Muggle world, saying that understanding and knowledge would keep people from fearing what they don't understand. The fear of Muggles was the reason for the problems currently affecting the wizarding world, the article said, causing divisions that threatened to return everyone to the time of Voldemort.

I looked up to Harry. "Wow, didn't expect that."

"Xenophilius gets off a good one every now and then." He looked at his watch. "We'll come get you after your classes, Hank. Best be off."

* * *

When I got to my classroom Virgil was sitting on my desk almost asleep. I sat down in my chair and petted him. "Don't want to miss anything, Virg?" He purred and stretched, and while I was petting him my students started to arrive. Since it was the fourth years I wasn't too worried; I figured a few statements would put things at ease, and luckily I was right. I answered some questions about my involvement with the Aurors, saying that I'd helped them some and then went into my disagreement with _The Prophet's_ article. Lavinia looked a little worried, but after that we settled back into the normalcy of class. My cold was starting to come back to the forefront of my mind, as I was a little groggy, but after assigning them an out of class project they were quite happy to have only a half of the normal amount of class time. Lavinia, of course, stayed afterwards.

"Professor, are you ok?" She stood by my desk nervously. "Are you worried about what was in the paper? And Melody an' the baby?"

That got me out of my semi-haze. "Yes, Lavinia, I am worried. But Ron and Harry are here. I know they won't let anything happen, and I'm sure the Aurors are watching Melody to make sure she's ok. Don't worry; I'm sure everything will be fine. Now scoot, I need to take another potion for this stupid cold."

After Lavinia left I drank another of Poppy's potions, but before I could start gathering myself for my next class there was a knock at my door. It took almost all of my energy to look up, but when I did I was surprised. There in my doorway was Willy, holding a large amount of letters.

"Headmaster said I should bring you these. Sorry you're not feeling well, professor."

"Thanks, Willy. Come on in, but don't come too close. Don't want you to catch this."

He walked forward, put the stack of letters on my desk and stepped back. "Professor, is…" He stopped and looked at the ground for a moment.

"Is what, Willy? Come on, what is it?"

He snapped his head up quickly. "Is Lavinia at risk? You and Mrs. Boyd are her guardians while she's at Hogwarts and with the stuff in the paper…"

I closed my eyes and sighed happily. _He's just looking out for Lavinia_. After opening my eyes again I looked at him. "She's fine, Willy. I appreciate your concern, and I'm glad you're looking out for her, but she's fine. Ok, out of here with you, go do something, maybe your assignment?"

That got a smile out of him and he walked out of the room, leaving me with a half of a class period to look at the stack of letters that sat on my desk. The first few were requests for interviews, one from _The Prophet_, one from _The Quibbler_ and one from some American newspaper. I sat those over to the side and opened the next batch which was from some concerned parents. Those would be harder to respond to, so I sat them on the other side of my desk next to Virgil; I'd need a clearer head to respond to those. The next letter, thought, that was quite different. I had opened it up without looking to see who it was from, and after the first few sentences I realized that it was from Draco Malfoy.

Draco's letter discussed the articles in the paper, how he thought that going public might actually be one of the better strategic moves on the part of the Ministry as well as other things. That was the first part, but when I got to the next paragraph that's when I was surprised. Draco had actually found the information on the land that Peter Sawgrass was trying to reclaim, and after some investigation and reviewing a lot of old documents had secured the land. The sticking point was that the claimant had to sign some paperwork, and that meant that either Peter or his father could legally acquire the land, but it would revert to whichever member of the Sawgrass family signed the document.

I sat down the letter and saw the dilemma immediately; if Peter's father signed for the land, more than likely it would be sold and Peter would be left with nothing. Peter couldn't leave Hogwarts, not without reason. I picked up the letter again, hoping there was something, a loophole that would allow him to prevail.

Draco's letter continued saying that an official notification would go out from the Ministry, but that he had pulled a few strings to delay the owls until late in the day. That gave Peter time, if only I could think of a way to get him out of Hogwarts officially.

It was while I was thinking of Peter's dilemma when the seventh years started filing into the room. I sat at my desk with Virgil on my lap as they arranged the chairs into their customary semi-circle, but instead of joining them I continued to stay at my desk.

"Don't know if you've heard or not but I have a cold; don't want y'all to catch it so I'm going to stay here today. Ok, I'm sure everyone saw the paper, so let's get started."

"How are the Muggle Interaction Procedures going, Professor?" Poesy smiled at me with what my brother calls a shit-eating grin.

"I think we all know better than that, now, Miss Phillips." I took off my glasses. "You realize there are some things that I can't tell you, correct?"

The rest of the class went as I expected, questions about my involvement, Harry and Ron's appearance at Hogwarts and the missing professors, but the bulk of the conversation was about the article in _The Prophet_. Questioning the validity of the class was something that as seventh years my students took personally. I sat back and listened as they raised points, deconstructed the article in and listed point after point on why Muggle Studies was important in the current day and age. As the discussion went on I noticed Peter writing something down, his quill moving rapidly across a piece of parchment.

"Mr. Sawgrass, working on an assignment for another class?" I cocked my head in his direction. "Or are we boring you?"

His head popped up quickly. "No, sorry, Professor Muggle. I'm taking notes. I'm writing _The Prophet_. All the things we're talking about now need to be known. Sure, we're just students, but nobody's heard our side of it."

At that point a light clicked on in my head. "Perfect idea. Why don't y'all work on that, send it as a class? If you'll excuse me, I'll be right back; I need to see Madame Pomfrey about my cold. When I return I'd like to see what you have."

All of my students nodded and gathered around Peter who took out a clean sheet of parchment. I picked up Virgil and put him on my shoulder and planned on heading towards my room when I bumped into something soft. I took a look around but didn't see anything, so I took out my wand.

"Put your wand away, Hank, it's me." Harry's voice came from in front of me, and shortly thereafter the invisibility cloak slid from his body. "Sorry, precautions. Where are you going? Your students are still in there, aren't they?"

"Yeah, they're working on something." I took a deep breath. "Harry, I need to get a message to Edith. Can you help me with that?"

Harry's face changed to his Auror face. "Why do you need to contact Edith? What's going on, Hank?"

I quickly explained the situation and Harry's face returned to its normal composure. "Hmm…I suppose I might be able to help. If I may ask, why is this so important to you?"

I ran a hand through my hair. "Hard to explain, and I made a promise I wouldn't say anything. He's a good kid, Harry. One of the few Slytherins to take my class. I appreciate that. He's done a lot to make things easier for me here, but I doubt he knows that."

Harry nodded. "I think I understand. You need to get Sawgrass out of Hogwarts officially, right? I do need to head in and talk to Robards, maybe I could take him with me. I'll send Edith a message."

"Thanks, Harry. If I know Edith she'll have everything sorted by the time you get there, probably have a cup of tea waiting as well." I shook my head. "Damn, I wish I could have an assistant at Hogwarts."

"I'm sure Melody would love that." Harry looked at his watch. "Ok, get back in there. When class is almost done I'll stop in, got it?"

I nodded and Harry walked away, invisibility cloak draped over his arm. I walked back into the classroom and found everyone crowded around Sawgrass, sat down and told them that I decided to wait to see Madame Pomfrey. At that point I actually was feeling somewhat worse, as my energy was coming and going in waves, so I simply sat there and let them continue discussing things and writing. I could feel my energy slipping away when I heard a knock on the door, and when I looked up Harry stood in the doorway.

"Sorry to disturb you, Professor. Headmaster Titus said you wanted to see me."

I glanced briefly at my students' faces and nodded at Harry. "Thank you, Auror Potter. Yes, I believe I do. Can you tell me what the Headmaster has decided?"

"Headmaster Titus believes it would be best if one of your students accompanies me. The press won't be here until later, so we'll be able to get this in before their press conference."

I nodded. "Sounds good. Mr. Sawgrass?"

Peter looked at me oddly. "Yes, Professor Muggle?"

"I hope your letter is finished. Please go with Auror Potter." I watched him gather his things and Peter had almost reached Harry when I snapped my fingers. "Almost forgot, if it isn't too much trouble could you stop by my office at the Ministry? Left a couple of things there, Edith will know what I'm looking for."

Harry nodded without giving anything away. "Not a problem, Professor." He looked over his shoulder to Peter. "Let's go then."

* * *

I managed to make it through the rest of my classes with a combination of tea and Poppy's potions, but when the day was finished I was exhausted. It was a taxing day, both mentally and physically as I'd tried to craft age-appropriate answers to the questions as well as try to get some of my lesson plans completed. When I arrived at my room I immediately went over to my bed and fell into it, grateful for some rest.

"Not even a hello, then?"

With my face buried in my pillow I laughed and rolled over. "Hello Mel, when'd you get here?"

My wife sat in my big green chair wearing one of my Molly Weasley sweaters. "About an hour ago. Got the strangest letter from Edith. Makes me wonder about you two." She smiled and then walked over and put her hand on my head. "You're burning up. Idiot, you should have been in bed today!"

"I know, but I needed to talk to my classes after what was in the paper. You saw it, didn't you?"

She sad on the bed next to me. "Of course, giant load of dragon droppings. At least _The Quibbler_ was decent."

"Yeah." I sat up and leaned against the cool wood of the headboard. "Wait, you got a letter from Edith? What'd she say?"

Melody gave me a smirk and put her hand on her stomach. "Well, she said that you were one of the nicest men she's known and that I was quite lucky to have you. Besides that she didn't say much except she asked how Spit was doing. What are you up to, Henry?"

"You first, why are you here?"

"Neville sent me a note telling me that you were ill. Add into that a note from Hermione about the things in the papers and I decided I needed to come take care of you. You're horrible when you're ill, can't have you be that way towards everyone. I'm used to it."

"So you're protecting everyone from me while I'm sick, nice." I leaned back and took a deep breath. "You don't care that the father of your child is at death's door, you just want to keep up appearances. Lovely."

She stood up and motioned for me to get out of bed. "That's exactly it. You got me. Now get up and put on some pajamas and get into bed properly if you want me to take care of you."

"Can't, Mel. There's a press conference later tonight in Titus' room about the Muggle Studies stuff. If I don't go it'll look bad."

She stood and put her hand on her hip for a moment and then sat back down. "Ok, you're right on that one, it would look bad."

A knock at the door interrupted our conversation, and when I went to sit up and go towards the door Melody put her hand on my shoulder. "You stay there, I'll get it."

When Melody opened the door I heard her talking in a low voice to someone but I couldn't make out who it was. I swung my legs over the side of the bed and headed towards the door, and when I heard the voices I knew exactly who it was. "Let them in, Mel, I have a cold not the plague."

After Melody opened the door Franny Ellsworth half ran towards me and gave me a giant hug. I patted her on the back and looked over to see Peter Sawgrass shaking Melody's hand. After prying Franny away I held her at arm's length. "It's just a cold, Franny. I'll be fine."

Melody closed the door and Peter walked over and stuck out his hand. "We know it's more than that, Professor."

I shook his hand. "Everything work out, Sawgrass?" I released his hand and pointed towards the small table. "Why don't you tell us all about it? Mel, can you make us some more chairs?"

Melody took out her wand and conjured two more chairs at my little table and the four of us sat down, Peter and Franny close together. I noticed that they were holding hands but didn't say anything. At first nobody said a word but finally Franny bumped her shoulder into Sawgrass. "Tell them, Petey."

Sawgrass looked at Franny briefly before turning to me and Melody. "At first it was like you said, I went with Auror Potter to _The Daily Prophet_ office. You should have seen their faces when he walked in the door, they were all falling over themselves trying to talk to him, it was crazy. After he got them all to calm down the editor came out, some big bloke with a beard…"

"Quiltfern." We all looked at Melody. "Andrew Quiltfern, that's his name."

"Well, whatever his name is he tried to get Harry, er, Auror Potter to give him a quote on the missing Muggle Studies professors. He didn't get it, though, as Auror Potter…"

"Just call him Harry, Peter, it'll save us time." I adjusted my glasses and held back a smile.

Peter nodded. "Right. Harry told him he'd have to wait until the press conference, but that I had something for him. I gave him our letter and explained that as seventh year Muggle Studies students we were offended that he put that stuff in the paper that Muggle Studies was dangerous. He didn't like that, but Harry made him promise to publish the letter. After that we left and Harry said we needed to stop by your office. When I got there Edith, your assistant, was waiting for us. She took us down to this office that was full of parchment and an old wizard met us and started complaining about how we were disrupting his orderly processes or something and how one of his workers was an idiot because the notices hadn't gone out as scheduled, they'd just been sent off about an hour before that. That's when Edith told him it was why I was there, the notice. Of course I had no idea what she was talking about but she winked at me so I knew something was up. The old wizard came back a few minutes later and put a whole bunch of parchment in front of me, telling me to sign here, initial here, stuff like that. I read the first part of the parchment and that's when I realized what it was, so I signed it all and initialed and all the things they asked as quickly as possible. When it was done he handed me a rolled up piece of parchment tied in a green ribbon. I wanted to unroll it right there but Edith and Harry wouldn't let me until we were in the lift, and when I did I saw the official Ministry seal. I can't thank you…we can't thank you enough, Professor!"

He took out the parchment and laid it on the table, and after unrolling it I saw the seal he'd mentioned. There, in black and white, official, was the deed to a parcel of land with Peter Alexander Sawgrass' name as owner. I handed it over to Melody and she smiled.

"Well, Peter, it looks like things are looking up for you." Melody handed him back the parchment. "Do you know where this is located?"

"Auror…Harry knew where it was, it's not too far from Satterbourne. He took me there on the way back to Hogwarts. There's a little house there, it's empty and kind of overgrown, but it's just right." He looked over to Franny, who was almost crying. "As soon as I got back here I knew what I had to do. That's why we came to see you."

"Me? Why me, Peter?" I felt Melody take my hand under the table. "Ok, I might have helped some. But you did most of the work, that's what Draco Malfoy told me. If you hadn't paid attention in my class you'd have never known about it."

Peter laughed. "Oh, I paid attention to a lot of things in your class, Professor." He looked over to Franny, and she nodded. "Found a lot of things in your class. Including the best thing to ever happen to me."

At that Franny leaned over and kissed him. After finishing she looked over to Melody and I and then rapidly stuck out her left hand. "We're engaged!"

I was in shock. Melody congratulated them, and when I finally found the ability to speak in my cold-addled brain I congratulated them as well.

"I remember our talk, Professor." Peter nodded at me. "We're going to wait until school is finished before we get married."

"Your talk?" I felt Melody squeeze my hand. "Henry?"

That made Peter and Franny laugh, hearing Melody call me by my given name. "I found the two of them on rounds discussing things. I asked Peter to think about things and make sure that they finished school before they did anything."

Melody shook her head. "You didn't tell me about that."

I shrugged slightly. "I promised Peter I wouldn't say anything. I'm his professor, not his father. He's of age and it's his decision."

"Thanks, Professor Muggle." Peter nodded, glanced over to Franny briefly and she smiled at him. "That's something else we wanted to talk to you about. I'm glad Mrs. Boyd is here, too. Franny said we'd have to talk to her about it as well."

Melody looked at me and I had no clue. "Yes, what is it?"

Peter began to say something, but stopped suddenly. Franny put her hand on his arm and looked at Melody and me. "You know some things about Petey's father, what he thinks of Muggleborns like me. My parents weren't too happy when they met Petey, because of his father, his, um…"

Peter looked at Melody. "Dad's a drunk." He looked at Franny. "Sorry, there's really no way to sugarcoat it. Mum's dead and Dad's a drunk."

"One of the reasons my parents were not thrilled when I told them about Petey." Franny looked pained. "When I told them how he was different, how he wasn't like his dad they softened some. Dad said he'd let Petey come visit but he'd rather kiss a dragon than let any other Sawgrass onto the property." Franny looked over to Peter for a second and he simply nodded. "So we were talking about a place to get married and thought about the places important to us. Besides Hogwarts there's only one other place."

"You're getting married in Hogsmeade?" I scratched my goatee. "Where?"

Franny laughed. "No Professor, Colony House."

That's when it hit me. The two of them got to know each other in my Muggle Studies class, in Muggle Club and at the Muggle Club party. "Holy shit."

"Henry!" Mel smacked me on my arm.

"Sorry, love." I took a look at Peter and Franny. "I get it. The Muggle Club parties, right?"

Franny nodded. "Um, that's why, um…do you think we could get married in your garden?"

"After we've finished school, of course." Peter put his arm around Franny. "We'll pay for everything."

Melody put out her hands and took Franny's. "Of course you can."

After Peter and Franny left I flopped down on the bed and Melody crawled in next to me. "Mel, are we doing too much? It's not normal for professors to do this for students, is it?"

"When have you ever been a normal professor?" She snuggled in next to me. "Can you tell me that, Hank?"

"Good point. I'm glad it all worked out. I have to do something to thank Draco and Edith. Harry, too."

"Draco?" Melody propped herself up on an elbow. "What do you mean?"

That led to my telling her about Draco's involvement, the little time delay and all of the machinations that got Peter his land. After being satisfied she laid back down again and put my hand over her stomach and I felt a couple of good kicks.

"Well, Hank, it looks like I'll get a dry run for planning the bump's wedding. You, Draco and Edith did a very good thing. I'm proud of you." She was silent for a while. "What are they going to do after they leave Hogwarts?" She poked me. "Hank?"

"Sorry, drifted off there for a moment. Um, Franny wants to work at the Ministry with the records. Librarian researcher kind of thing, don't know for sure. I think Peter wants to work in the Ministry as well. He wasn't sure the last time I spoke to him, something about land records. I think getting the property back has given him a direction. He mentioned going to work for someone else, a private business, but he didn't go into details. They've both got good heads on their shoulders; I'm not too worried about them."

Mel leaned up and put her hand on my head. "You don't feel as warm; your fever must have gone away."

"Aren't you afraid of you and the bump catching my cold?"

"With all the prenatal potions I'm on? I doubt it."

* * *

When Ron came into my room both Melody and I were napping, so it was somewhat of a shock to see him next to my bed.

"Glad you're both decent, that would have been embarrassing." He stood at the foot of the bed. "Time for the press conference, buck up."

Melody and I got out of my bed and I half-stumbled towards the bathroom. After taking the last of the potions from Madame Pomfrey I began to feel somewhat altogether. "Please tell me I don't have to dress up for this."

Ron shrugged. "Dunno, just wear what you always wear. I'm sure Melody will get you right."

I threw on a different tie and put on the robe Melody gave me, and soon we were walking towards Titus' room. The whole time we were walking Melody complained that she had no idea that she'd be attending a press conference and she looked horrible, her hair was mussed, she didn't have on any makeup…the usual. Ron gave me a sideways look and it made me laugh, the worst thing I could have done. I listened to her give me a hard time all the way up to the door to Titus' office, and after she semi-stormed past me Ron clapped me on the back and apologized.

Everything changed the moment I walked into Titus' office as flashbulbs went off, almost blinding me, and I stumbled into Ron, causing him to curse briefly under his breath. We made our way over to Titus, who stood next to Kingsley Shacklebolt and Harry. Once we'd nodded at Titus he held up his hand, silencing the crowd.

"As Headmaster I'd like to thank everyone for coming this evening. As we know several Muggle Studies professors are missing from magical learning institutions in the UMS and Canada. Professor Boyd, Muggle Studies professor here at Hogwarts has been assisting the Ministry and the Auror department with the full cooperation of Hogwarts. Recent articles in the press have indicated that Muggle Studies is a potentially dangerous topic for our students; as the Headmaster at Hogwarts let me unequivocally state for the record that not only is Muggle Studies _not_ dangerous, it is _essential_ to prepare the future leaders of the wizarding world for the challenges that they will face in the future. It is the lack of understanding by those ill-informed individuals that make up Anti-Muggle elements that have caused the current situation. Both the Ministry and Hogwarts believe that education would prevent issues such as the missing professors. Furthermore Professor Boyd is a valuable asset to Hogwarts, not a detriment, and any statement on that topic is truly misguided."

A photographer stepped forward and took a picture of Titus, momentarily blinding him. After blinking for a moment he resumed speaking to the media.

"In cooperation with the Auror department additional security measures have been taken to ensure the safety of all at Hogwarts. We will continue to work with the Aurors until the matter is resolved. At this time I'll open the floor to questions."

Almost immediately all of the press assembled began to shout for Titus' attention which caused him to take a step back in shock. I wasn't sure what to do as half of the people were shouting my name while the other's called out for Kingsley or Titus to answer their questions. I felt Melody move beside me and before I knew it she was at the head of the table.

"One at a time, please." She pointed to a large wizard. "Philomeus?"

"Glad to see old habits never die, Melody. Professor Muggle, can you confirm that you have gone over to the UMS to assist in locating the missing professors?"

I looked over to Kingsley, who nodded. "Yes, I have visited New Orleans and worked with the staff of Laveau and the AAB."

After that it became a blur. Melody fell into her old press secretary habits, accepting and rejecting some questions, directing some towards Kingsley who gave out the official Ministry statement, and eventually after about a half hour she decided that the press had received enough information.

"Mrs. Boyd, with your presence here today, aren't you worried about the safety of your unborn child?" The reporter wore a bright green robe and had on a pair of yellow spectacles. "Aren't you too close to this story to be able to objectively report about it in _Witch Weekly_?"

_Oh shit._ Melody's face turned slightly red and I saw her grip the back of the chair.

Melody looked over at me quickly and then to the witch. "Ann Wistoe, I should have known. I would have you know that in regards to this story and any other regarding my husband I have always given my reporters free reign. Juniper, in the back there has treated this as any other press conference. And for the record I am NOT worried about the safety of my baby, unless it will be scarred by hearing stupid comments like that. This press conference is over."

That was the sign for Harry and Ron as they began moving the reporters and photographers out of Titus' office, and soon it was just Kingsley, Melody, Gavin, Titus and me left. Kingsley put his hand on Melody's shoulder.

"Well done, Mrs. Boyd. If you ever want to give up working at Witch Weekly we could use someone with your skills at the Ministry."

Melody glanced over at me and smiled. "Would that mean I would have an assistant?"

Kingsley laughed. "I'm sure that could be arranged."

"I'll keep that in mind. Thank you, Minister."

After Kingsley left Gavin took a deep breath. "Well, that went better than I had hoped. Thank you, Mrs. Boyd. Now, um, I have only one more request, if I may. It seems our Muggle Studies professor is under the weather; perhaps you might be convinced to stay and help restore him to health? Yes, I think that would be best. Now if you'll excuse me I have some letters to write."

As Melody and I walked out of Titus' office I shook my head. "Did he just…"

Melody nodded. "Yes, he did. He's quite good at that, you know. Ok, I plan on following orders, let's go see Madame Pomfrey and get you into bed."

"It's just a cold. No big deal, love."

"Hmmm-hmmm." She nodded. "Right. And you haven't complained at all, have you? Not one teensy bit? That's what I thought. Come on."


	15. The State Bird

**Chapter 15: The State Bird**

Harry and Ron's few days at Hogwarts turned into the rest of the week, along with Mel's visit. I actually didn't mind that, as it made things very comfortable for me at Hogwarts; I had my job, my students and my wife all in one place. The only thing that concerned Mel was the house, that nobody would be there to take care of Spit and Churchill, but we'd owled Edith and she agreed to housesit for us. Luckily none of the fears about the WLF and the other Anti-Muggle groups were realized, as everything seemed to hum along at the regular pace. I did feel sort of putout initially when Mel commandeered the desk in my room to run Witch Weekly, but I figured that was a small price to pay to have my wife stay with me. At breakfast one morning I tried to broach the topic of turning Melody's visit into something more permanent, but Titus beat me to it, informing me that he was bending the rules for me due to the extraordinary circumstances.

The big news at Hogwarts, amongst the students, was the engagement of Franny Ellsworth and Peter Sawgrass. Apparently there hadn't been an engagement at Hogwarts in ages, which was probably a good thing, but I figured the two of them would make a pretty good go of it. I followed Melody's suggestion one night and invited the two of them up to my room for supper, ostensibly to talk about their wedding plans, but when the two of them arrived I knew something was wrong; Franny was as quiet as she used to be in my class and Peter looked like he wanted to hit something.

"Ok, you two, something's up. What's wrong?" I closed the door and glanced over to Melody quickly.

Franny walked over to my small table and sat down quietly, her hands clasped in her lap.

"My father, that's what's wrong." Peter walked over to the table and threw a parchment down. "He's taking me to court. Me, his only son. Bloody drunk."

"Let me see that." Melody gave me an odd look, picked up the parchment from the table and unrolled it. After reading through it a few minutes she shook her head. "He has a case, but not much of one. My guess is that he's going to try to drag this through the courts as long as possible, delaying Peter from taking possession."

"I don't have any money." Peter threw himself into a chair. "He knows that. The only money I have is what my Grandfather left me, and it's in a trust. There's not much left. Merlin, I barely had enough for books this year."

I saw Franny look over worriedly to Peter. "Petey, you can take it back. I understand."

"No." Peter's answer came out almost at a shout. "We are not taking back your ring. That's final."

"You can't pay for a lawyer, Petey. I don't mind." Franny put her hand on him and I watched Sawgrass' body tense for a moment and then it relaxed.

"Hank?" Mel cocked her head at me. "Aren't you related to a lawyer?"

I shook my head. "Not that I know of."

She gave me the 'you're being thick' look. "Yes, you are. Didn't you say the man who told you about the Boyd side of your family at the book signing was a lawyer?"

"Santa Claus!" Everybody looked at me oddly. "Sorry, the guy looks like Santa. Big beard, he was wearing red…never mind. You're right. Peter, I know a lawyer. Will you let me send him a letter on your behalf?"

"I've taken enough charity." Peter exhaled sharply. "I know you're just trying to help, Professor, but we're already getting married at your house, not to mention the land…you've done enough. I'll figure out something."

"Sawgrass." I said it as if he'd just done something wrong in my class. "I didn't say I'd take care of it, I said I knew a lawyer. All I was going to do was setup an introduction; after that it's up to you."

Peter looked over to Franny and she nodded. "Ok. Thanks."

I looked over to Mel and she nodded slightly at me. "So, what does everybody want to eat?"

* * *

I was looking forward to Saturday morning, sleeping in late with Melody, but I'd forgotten one important thing on my calendar, even though my smarmy calendar reminded me of it every morning that week; Saturday was the day of the Hufflepuff versus Slytherin Quidditch match. I woke up hearing shuffling noises, and after rolling over and finding an empty bed next to me I propped myself up on my elbow and squinted, as the lights were very bright in my room. "Mel! What time is it?" I heard her footsteps on the other side of the room so I rolled over and shook my head. There was my five month pregnant wife standing in a yellow t-shirt which did not cover her belly, in her knickers, with black and yellow striped socks.

"Come on, Hank, I want to go down to breakfast today. And where are your trousers?"

"Just go down to breakfast like that. I'm sure nobody will notice."

She gave me one of 'those' looks. "Very funny. Now where are your trousers? You put my wand in there last night, didn't you?"

I rubbed my eyes. "I did?"

She let out a sigh, shook her head and began looking around the room, finally ending up by my side of the bed. "I should have known, right there on the floor. The bump will definitely not learn that habit." She reached down somewhat slowly and picked up my pants, found the back pocket and pulled out her wand. "You put it in your pocket after I left it in the loo, remember?"

"Um, sure?" I sat up fully and reached over for my glasses. "How long have you been up?"

"Hours." She walked over to her little bag of clothing, pulled out a pair of black pants and waved her wand at them. The pants expanded somewhat and she sat on a chair and put them on. "I need to go shopping, Hank. I can't expand these much further or they'll disintegrate. I have to do the shirt as well."

"Ok, ok, I get it, you need new clothes. Let me take a shower, we'll go have breakfast and then we'll figure it out at the Quidditch match, deal?"

The atmosphere in the Great Hall wasn't as crazy as during the Slytherin versus Gryffindor matches, but it was fun. Mel and I sat at the Hufflepuff table and were quickly immersed in several conversations that were going on at once along with answering questions about the bump. My Hufflepuff students were determined to keep their pool winning ways alive, as Flora Falkirk made a second year student move over and sat across from Melody.

"Mrs. Boyd, I read in your magazine that sometimes women go past their due date on their first babies. It also said…"

I leaned over the table. "Flora, you do have a match to play today, right?"

She smiled brightly. "Oh yeah, sure, Professor. Just trying to keep my winning streak alive."

Ruby Smyth-Warring slammed her silverware to the table. "Oh bloody hell!"

Everybody turned to see where the loud exclamation came from, and it was obvious that Ruby was not pleased. I looked at her and it seemed as if she hadn't paid any attention to the fact that most of the table was watching her, she was intent on something at the entrance of the Great Hall. I followed her gaze and understood immediately why she was irritated, as there in the entrance stood Terry Boot and Miranda Fleming, and not only was Miranda dressed in her usual inappropriate clothing but she was talking to Carrick Frye and two other Gryffindor boys. Instead of all black Miranda wore Ravenclaw blue leather pants, clunky black boots and a daringly unbuttoned white shirt that was untucked. The _pièce de résistance, _however, was the Ravenclaw tie that hung loosely around her neck. The fact that her hair was a dark gold color and she wore sunglasses in the Great Hall was almost an afterthought.

I looked over to Ruby and she shook her head. "How many cows died so they could almost cover her arse?"

I tapped Mel on the shoulder. "Was she in Ravenclaw?"

"Dunno." She shrugged. "I know Boot was. She's younger than me, you know. Not to mention skinnier."

I could tell from Melody's tone that she was another of the not-very-pleased females in the Great Hall. She had commented the other night on how her figure would probably never return after the bump, and I figured I'd better say something. I leaned over so only she could hear and whispered "Well she doesn't have your chest, especially now."

Melody turned and didn't say a word, she simply stared at me. I smiled at her, as I thought I'd said the right thing, but she reached out, took the sugar bowl and dumped it over my head, smiling at me the whole time. She stood up from the table and looked over to Lavinia and Ruby.

"Girls, I'm heading to the pitch. Would you like to join me?"

I sat there trying to get the sugar out of my hair, brushing it off the best I could as most of the table got up to join my wife.

"Henry, once you've cleaned yourself up you may join us." Melody and the girls walked out of the Great Hall, leaving me with the boys and several other laughing students and staff.

Willy walked over to me and took out his wand. After siphoning off all the sugar he shook his head. "What'd you say?"

"Um, obviously the wrong thing. All right, boys, let's head on out."

When we got to the Quidditch pitch I made my way into the stands, hoping to sit next to Melody but she was surrounded by Lavinia, Ruby and some other Hufflepuff girls. She smiled at me as I sat next to Willy and some other boys. When Neville and Ron walked into the stands and sat behind me I figured something was up, as I didn't expect to see Ron.

Neville leaned over. "I think you're going white."

Ron's head appeared over my other shoulder. "I think it's sweet."

"Piss off, you two." I turned around in my seat. "What're you doing here, Ron? Thought you and Harry were done being Auror shadows. Gryffindor isn't playing."

I saw Ron sneak a glance at Neville. "Tell you after the match."

The cheers of the crowd took everyone's attention towards the pitch, and for the next twenty minutes or so I concentrated on the match; my Hufflepuff squad was doing well but my thoughts kept turning back to trying to figure out what Ron had to tell me. Finally I couldn't take it any longer and I stood up and made my way up to Ron and Neville.

"Move over, Nev." I sat down quickly between the two of them and leaned over to Ron. "Ok, come on, you're killing me here. What's up?"

Ron gave me an irritated glance. "I said after the match. You Puffs have a chance of winning this one."

I shook my head. "Come on, Weasley. You owe me. The cover story when I was camping? Thanks, that didn't bring up any painful memories at all."

He looked at me for a moment. "Fine. Here." He reached into his coat and pulled out a letter. "Don't open it yet. I know you have no patience so I'll just tell you it's from Edith."

I took the letter and felt its heft; there was obviously a good amount of parchment inside. I stuck the letter hurriedly into my coat and caught Ron's eye. Obviously it was something important, but I knew if I opened it up then and there Ron wouldn't be my friend who liked to eat three times his weight at my house, he would be Auror Ron Weasley and it wouldn't go well at all. My only hope was that it would be a quick match.

Unfortunately it wasn't. Quaffle after Quaffle was thrown through the goals with no sight of the Snitch. I wished I would have had a bigger breakfast as the match stretched out over lunch and then into the early afternoon. I heard Ron's stomach growl and he gave me an apologetic expression. _Crap. If Ron was that hungry, not to mention me, what about Melody?_ I looked down the stands towards her and laughed quietly to myself.

Melody sat with the Hufflepuff girls, all of them with their own paper bags, eating happily. I tried to yell down to Mel but it was drowned out as Lavinia's badger hat let out a 'kecker' as Hufflepuff scored again. I was about to go down and see if Mel had anything extra to eat when the crowd began to roar: Flora Falkirk was in an intense duel with the Slytherin Seeker as the two of them sped around the confines of the pitch, almost touching the grass, elbowing each other to try to gain some space. Suddenly Flora brought her broom to almost a dead stop, causing the Slytherin Seeker to follow suit. The moment the other Seeker stopped Flora shot ahead, arm outstretched and within seconds grasped the Golden Snitch in her hand.

"Thank Merlin, I'm starved." Ron clapped me on the shoulder. "Send me an owl later; I gotta get something before I keel over."

I nodded to him and Neville, and after they left I made my way down to Melody.

"Enjoy the match, Hank?" She smiled at me as if absolutely nothing had happened in the Great Hall.

"Um, yeah, sure. Mel, we need to head to my room."

"Need a light snack? Hungry for some sweets?" She put her hand on my arm. "Sorry, love. Don't know what came over me. Scratch that, I do. How much longer is Miranda Fleming going to be here?"

"I…um...I don't give a shit. Come on, Mel. Let's go back."

"Henry?" Her expression turned serious. "What is it?"

"Got something from Ron. Dunno what yet, but I need to find out."

* * *

Back in my room, next to the warmth of the fireplace Melody looked over the letter for a second time. "Does this mean what I think it means?"

"I guess so. Draco's found something concrete, something tangible that ties the distant relatives of Aunt Charlotte Malfoi to what happened in Ireland. More than that, though, it's the connection to Cassandra Palliurum that's freaking me out. Cassandra is descended from one of Aunt Charlotte's cousins; that book I paid thirty Galleons for in New Orleans paid off, I guess. I think they've actually got a person to investigate."

"Thirty Galleons! You didn't tell me that!"

"Don't worry, Draco reimbursed me for it. I figured if anyone should own that book it should be him."

"Hmmm…" Mel picked up a series of folded parchment pages from the table nearest to the fireplace. "He's actually related to them, so I guess that makes sense. And he's related somewhat to this Cassandra woman. With an arrest record like this she sounds like a piece of work."

I took the pages from her and scanned through them again. "Yeah, but it doesn't make any sense. Why would a woman whose name was down at Bródúil, an Irish school, have an extensive Muggle arrest record? And mostly in America, too? Doesn't make any sense, it just doesn't make any sense."

"Oooh, stop that." Melody put her hand on her stomach. "Someone isn't very comfy right now. Actually that makes two of us."

"Listen, love, I'm sorry about the boobs remark. I just wanted you to know that I could care less if Miranda Fleming walked in starkers…"

"I'm sure the boys would love that." She shifted her weight in the chair, finally finding a somewhat comfortable position. "I know what you meant, Hank. It's just…it's hard looking in the mirror these days. My arse…"

"Is wonderful. I think you look more beautiful than the day I married you."

That made her laugh. "Flattery will get you everywhere, especially up until June."

After a light supper Melody decided that she should probably head home and relieve Edith from her house-sitting duties; I knew more than anything she really just wanted to be back in her own bed, in her own house and not have to worry if students or staff would interrupt when all she really wanted to do was soak in the tub. After thinking on it I had to agree with Titus that it wasn't the optimal situation having Melody here with me all the time. Occasional visits were good, but I could see how being a normal, married couple at Hogwarts would be challenging.

Melody's absence also meant that I had time to dwell on the letter that had been delivered by Ron. I made a cup of tea, lit my pipe for the first time in over a week and sat back to really try to digest what was on the page. I had flipped through the arrest records again, struck by the Muggleness of the crimes. Underage drinking. Forgery. Petty theft. Shoplifting. Possession of a controlled substance. Failure to appear. Driving without a license. Solicitation. _Solicitation?_ I started looking down the list again, trying to figure out what had happened, trying to gain more details. This time instead of the topic of the arrest I started looking for the specifics, where the arrest happened and when. I took out a notepad, started making notes and after about twenty minutes a picture started to appear of a woman, young woman, who would have been right out of high school going on a crime spree of sorts. The arrests seem to happen in one location and then move to another, sometimes several states away. It was in New Orleans, though, that the solicitation charge happened. I read the date of the solicitation charge and sat back in my chair. _Was that Mardi Gras?_

I went over to my bookshelf and pulled out an old set of Muggle encyclopedias that were old when I was a kid. I'd had them for years, reading them for fun. When I told Hermione about that once she'd nodded enthusiastically, as she'd done the same thing before Hogwarts. I remembered how Ron had rolled his eyes at the two of us when I put my finger on the volume that should have the entry on Mardi Gras. After skimming through the article it made sense; the date of the arrest probably was during Mardi Gras. Cassandra had probably done the whole "beads" thing and flashed someone. Must have been a hard-ass cop to bust her for that on Mardi Gras. Shit, if the New Orleans police arrested every woman who did that for solicitation the jailhouse would be full, according to the stories that I'd heard.

I put the encyclopedias back on the shelf, relit my pipe and took another look at her arrest record, specifically the solicitation charge. There, buried at the absolute end of the entry were the words "Dismissed – Lack of Evidence." I started looking through the records and realized that almost every single time that she had been arrested Cassandra Palliurum had not been formally charged except for the underage drinking charge. _How had she done that?_ I hit myself in the head with my hand. It was obvious, she had confunded them or something…after all, wasn't her name down at the Irish school? She was a witch. That still didn't answer my question, though; if Cassandra was a witch why didn't she go to any of the magical schools?

If I couldn't figure it out I definitely knew who could. I took out a piece of parchment and clicked my ink pen several times; the letter I had planned out in my head was going to be a series of wild guesses with some dubious explanations.

* * *

I didn't hear anything from Edith or the Aurors right away so I figured my letter was what I thought it was when I wrote it, a bunch of hunches. Everything at Hogwarts resumed its usual pattern until Thursday morning, when someone started banging on my door way too early. After stumbling out of bed and wrapping my robe around as quickly as possible I opened the door almost violently.

"Either Mel's going to St. Mungo's or something better be on fire."

"Well, thankfully neither of those." Gavin Titus stood in his dressing robe, nightcap and slippers in front of me. "May I come in?"

_Shit._ "Um, sure, Gavin. Sorry." He walked into my room and I closed the door. "What time is it, anyway?"

He sat down in my big green chair. "A little after three, I'm afraid. Sorry to disturb you at this hour but I've just been contacted by the Ministry, specifically Auror Robards. Your presence is requested immediately at the Ministry."

"What the fuck? Sorry, why…" I yawned. "Never mind. Sorry you got drug into this. Did they say anything else?"

Gavin nodded. "Yes, but just barely. One of the missing Muggle Studies professors is now in their custody."

"Holy shit! Ok, tell them I'm on my way. Wait, you're not my messenger, sorry. I need to get dressed…"

The headmaster stood up and put his hand on my shoulder. "I'll have the kitchen send up some coffee for you. You can use the Floo in my office when you're ready; don't bother knocking, I'll be expecting you."

The moment Gavin left I threw on the first clothes I could find, not caring that I was in my underwear with one leg in a pair of jeans when Nonky popped in with my coffee. I thanked him, finished dressing, jammed my Braves hat on my head and almost forgot my glasses I was in such a hurry. When I realized that I had almost left without the most basic thing, my glasses, something I never forget, I recognized that I needed to stop and think for a moment. I took a deep breath and thought about what I needed. After shoving my notes into a folder I went over to my wardrobe, stuck my ID badge on my jeans pocket, pulled out my guns and strapped them on for some reason, threw a sweatshirt over them and shoved a notebook and my Muggle Studies textbook into a backpack. My WUMP slid out of one of the pockets and I jammed it back in, angrily having to take time to put the headphones in so I could zip everything up. I almost spilled my coffee as I opened the door and headed out into the black Hogwarts hallways.

It was all I could do to not run all the way to Titus' office, and thankfully when I got there the gargoyles simply waved me in. True to his word Gavin sat at his desk, this time dressed as usual for a day at Hogwarts.

"They're ready for you, Hank. I assured Robards that you would arrive momentarily."

I nodded. "Thanks, Gavin. Listen, I have no idea when I'll be back, my lesson plans…"

He waved me off. "I'll take care of it. Go, Hank."

I stood in the fireplace, threw down the Floo powder and half-shouted my destination. Almost instantaneously Titus' office disappeared.

Only a very few lights were on at the Ministry; I felt as disoriented at first as everything was almost as black as the Hogwarts hallways. I thought about where I'd need to go and flipped over my badge; sure enough the red dot appeared leading me down the hallway. I had almost reached my destination when I heard someone calling my name from behind. After turning around it took me a minute to realize who it was, but after a few more very quick footsteps I realized it was Edith Winston walking very fast towards me.

"They called you in too, Edith?"

She stopped next to me, her breath in gasps. "Yes. Did you just get here?"

I nodded. "Yep, come on, let's go see the professor."

I didn't look at my badge anymore, instead I followed Edith through the hallways until we ended up at a desk that was staffed by a rather severe looking, older Auror. I figured he would ask for identification or something, but he simply stood up and opened the door for us. I walked in first, Edith behind me.

"About time." Ron sat on the edge of the desk in the strangely empty room. "Robards and Scamander are in there now. Let me brief you before you go in and do something stupid as usual." Ron sat down and took a big drink of coffee.

"How long have you been up?" Ron gave me a withering glare and I made a mental note not to fuck with Ron when he was really tired. "Sorry, what can you tell us?"

Ron rubbed the red stubble on his face. "Rolf did an extraction. The professor is Lene Nordquip, from Ragnarok in the UMS. Scamander found her somewhere in the Cantabrian Mountains in Spain. I don't know how much we'll get out of her, since Rolf said she was in some kind of a trance. She's pretty shaken right now, probably still in some form of shock. The Healers are on their way over from St. Mungo's to give her a quick exam, but Robards thought you should talk to her before she goes in for the full nine yards."

"Jesus." I adjusted my hat. "How did Rolf…"

Ron shook his head. "No idea, mate. Like to find that out myself." Ron stood up and knocked on the door. Moments later Harry's face poked through the opening in the door and nodded. I watched Ron respond and then he turned to me and Edith. "Go on in."

I expected something out of a Muggle television police procedural drama, one of those rooms with the one way glass and grimy walls for some reason, but the room I entered was far from it. It was a well-lit, cozy room with a table and several chairs. As soon as I entered almost everyone looked towards me, eventually Edith as well, and Auror Robards stood up and walked over to me.

"Thank you for coming, Professor. I'd like for you to talk to her, see if you can pick out anything we're missing." My eyebrows rose at Robards; it was definitely a shift from the loud, authoritative Auror that I'd dealt with previously. He sensed my shock. "She's been through a lot, Professor. Just trying to make her feel at ease."

I nodded at him and sat down across the table from the professor. She was wrapped in a brown, thick woolen blanket and had a cup of tea placed in front of her on the table. As she didn't look up when I sat down I had a chance to take stock of the woman; she looked to be somewhere in her late fifties to early sixties, brown hair put up in a messy bun. As she took her teacup with both hands I noticed that she wore a wedding ring as well as several other rings. It was when she lifted the teacup slowly up to her lips that she raised her head slightly and noticed for the first time that Edith and I had joined the Aurors.

"Oh. You're new." She sipped her tea and looked at me strangely. "Are you from the AAB?"

I shook my head. "No, no I'm not. The Aurors asked me to come in to speak to you." I took off my hat and sat it on the table. "I'm…"

"Professor Muggle!" She put a hand to her lips momentarily and then extended it across the table. "So nice to meet you. I missed your visit when you were at Ragnarok a few years ago."

I shook her hand gently. "I enjoyed my visit. Good to meet you Mrs. Nordquip, very glad, actually." I heard the movement of quills on parchment and glanced over my shoulder to see a witch writing everything down, along with Edith next to me. "Mrs. Nordquip this is Edith Winston. She works with the Aurors and has been working on your case, along with the other missing professors."

Lene Nordquip nodded at Edith and then turned back to me. "I'm not a professor, just an instructor. And please, just call me Lene. We're colleagues."

I nodded. "Thanks, Lene. Hank is fine; don't worry about the professor bit." I watched her take a sip of tea and her eyes seemed to lose focus. "Lene, I know you've probably been over this a million times already, but what can you tell me about your disappearance?"

Her eyes snapped back into focus and she looked at me intently. "I was working on my lesson plans for the first years. That age level is very appropriate in your text, by the way. The end-of-chapter exercises make things so much easier. Well, I was at home with Edmund…and the next thing I know I'm waking up in a very small house. There were no lights, it was very dark. I couldn't move and the mosquitoes were horrible!"

I nodded. "I remember the mosquitoes. I have an aunt and uncle that live in the country up north, and when we'd go to the lakes it was like being attacked."

She chuckled. "Well, the mosquito is the Minnesota state bird."

I looked over at Edith. "That's a joke."

Edith crossed out her previous writing.

Lene nodded. "What I remember most, professor, was the weird music that they played, sometimes quite loudly. It seemed to go on for hours and hours. Oh how I wished to hear Celestina Warbeck again, especially after they began arguing."

Rolf sat down next to Edith at the table. "Mrs. Nordquip I know you've told us before, but can you describe what they argued about?"

I watched Lene look at Rolf with a mixture of fear and awe; obviously she'd been affected by the extraction as Ron called it. "Can you tell me, Lene? This is the first time I've heard anything."

She glanced at Rolf and then turned to me, and I got the quick impression of what she would be like in the classroom if a student had interrupted her. "Well, Hank, they were having a disagreement about a person who must have been their superior, as they did not like the orders they'd been given. They didn't want to leave the UMS but the older of the two, I could tell by his voice, the older of the two said that the newspaper had given them their orders. I watched them intently, trying to remember as much as I could but they had horrible masks on their heads. One almost looked like a cat and the other had a star over his eye. Horrible white faces."

_Horrible white faces…a cat and a star…sonovabitch._ I reached into my backpack and pulled out my notebook and a pen. Quickly I drew two approximations of what I thought she was talking about. When I was finished I pushed the notebook over to her. "Did it look something like this?"

She nodded. "Yes, but without the long hair. They wore stocking caps."

I rubbed my goatee for a moment. "Did either of them ever use a wand?"

"No." She shook her head. "I never saw either of them with a wand. They kept me blindfolded for the most part, but it was that horrible music that almost drove me to the brink of insanity. That was why I didn't hear whoever came in to that little place right at the end. Then everything went black. The next thing I remember is…" She looked directly at Rolf and then quickly back to me. "He woke me up and brought me here."

I nodded. "Lene, would you remember the music if you heard it again?"

"Oh yes." She shuddered. "I will never forget that as long as I live."

"Hold on a sec." I reached into my backpack and pulled out my WUMP. After putting the headphones on I thought about the band and soon the music started playing. I took out my headphones and extended them across the table for her. "Is this what you heard?"

She took the headphones from my hand and tentatively put them in her ears. I watched her face for a sign of recognition and it didn't take long. Her reaction was violent as she pulled the headphones from her ears and threw them down on the table.

"That's it, that's the horrible sound they tortured me with."

I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up to see Auror Robards. "Thank you, Professor." He looked over to Lene. "Mrs. Nordquip, the Healers would like you to accompany them to St. Mungo's to make sure everything's ok. We'll be in touch soon."

Lene looked sort of wild-eyed at Robards, got up from her chair and walked around the table. When she got to me I stood up and looked at her. "Hank, would you check on my students? As a professional courtesy?"

I nodded. "Of course, Lene. Don't worry."

As soon as Lene Nordquip walked out of the room with the Healer and the door was shut Robards turned to me; the old Robards was back. "Ok, Professor, what the bloody hell was she talking about? What did you draw?"

I picked up the notebook and handed it to him. "This. This is the stage makeup for a rock band from the late 1970's that's still playing. I let her listen to one of their songs on my WUMP. She might have been kidnapped by a witch or wizard, but she was held at first by Muggles. My guess is they had her up in a cabin out by one of the lakes and used the music to keep people away or at least cover what they were talking about."

Rolf looked over Robards' shoulder at my notebook. "I didn't see anything like that when I was in Spain."

"Speaking of which, Scamander, how the bloody hell did you find her? You still haven't told us that!" Robards jerked the notebook away from Rolf and shoved it into my chest. "We're on the same side, damn it."

"I will have my staff prepare a report for you, Auror Robards. Expect it by the end of the day." He looked at all of us individually and then stopped at Robards. "Until then."

After Rolf walked out the door the witch that was writing everything down stopped over and spoke to Robards. He put his hand on his forehead and nodded. When that witch left he turned to the rest of us. "Looks like we're in for a long one. Weasley! Go show Professor Muggle where the racks are; I need another cup of tea."

I followed Ron down a corridor until we got to a wall that seemed completely blank. Ron stuck his elbow on the wall and a door began to materialize in front of us.

"Uh, Ron, I know I'm mostly awake, but did you just stick your elbow on the wall?"

He nodded. "Funny, isn't it? Rotates to a different body part each week. Just glad I didn't need the racks the week it was your arse that opened it up." He opened the door and walked in. "Come on, get in here."

The room looked like an old barracks as bunk beds lined the walls. Unlike a barracks the whole room was bathed in a soothing blue light and soft music played in the background. I followed Ron until we stopped at the back of the room next to one of the bunk beds. "What is this place?"

"Sleeping racks for the Aurors. Sometimes we're on some really long shifts." He lifted up what looked like the top of a long, rectangular box that was affixed to the foot of each bed. "Let's see…probably won't be that long, here." He reached in the box and handed me a vial of light green liquid. "Sleeping potion, light duration. You'll be out about an hour or two. Got some extra stuff in it to make you feel good when you wake up."

I took the potion from Ron but didn't drink it right away. "Ok, Ron, what the hell's going on?"

He pointed to the potion. "Drink that and when you wake up we'll have some more answers. Hopefully."

Ron left and I figured it was as good a time as any to get some sleep. I didn't bother to do anything except take of my shoes, glasses and hat. After lying down on top of the bottom bunk I popped the cork and downed the potion. After a few seconds I felt a wonderful warmth begin to seep through my body, as if I was out in the middle of a field in the middle of a summer day. I closed my eyes and soon everything had just slipped away.


	16. Happy Valentine's Day

**Chapter 16: Happy Valentine's Day**

When I woke up I realized that Ron was right, I felt completely refreshed and ready to go. I sat up and put my shoes, glasses and hat back on and that was when I realized that I wasn't the only person in the racks; three other people slept in various bunks around the room, including one person who was on a top bunk with their leg hanging over the side. I walked as quietly towards the door as possible but when I got there I realized that I had a problem; there wasn't a doorknob on the door. _Shit_. I took out my wand and pointed at the door, hoping for something to happen, but the only result was that a small amount of flames came out of the end of my wand, almost liquid in nature, dropped on my foot and set the toe of my shoe on fire.

"Fuck!" I knelt down and put the fire out. After that I looked around, hoping that I hadn't woken anybody up, but the three shapes in the bunks didn't move. Not knowing what else to do I sat on the nearest bottom bunk and pulled open my backpack, rummaged around inside for a while and pulled out my notebook. I'd promised Lene Nordquip that I would check on her students, so I began writing a letter to the Administrator of Ragnarok. I'd almost finished the letter when the door opened.

"Hank?"

I looked up from my letter to see Harry Potter's head appear around the edge of the door. I put my pen in my notebook, closed it and shoved everything into my backpack. I zipped everything up as I walked over to the door.

"Glad you stopped by. Had no idea how I was getting out."

Harry opened the door wide and I walked out into the now brightly-lit hallway. "Sorry about that. Robards forgot."

"No problem. Those potions are great, by the way. Whoever's in that top bunk must really be out, didn't even move when I accidentally set my shoe on fire."

"Sorry, what?" Harry looked over at me strangely.

"Used my wand to try and open the door, and set my shoe on fire for a moment. Said some choice words; whoever's in those bunks is really crashed out, especially the one with their foot hanging over the side."

"Oh, Seamus." Harry chuckled. "He always does that. Ok, enough of that, you're needed in a meeting."

We ended up in Robards' office along with Ron, Edith and Terry Boot. After sitting down I looked over to Ron and it was obvious that he hadn't slept at all.

"Professor, hope you had a nice little nap." Robards nodded at me. "Now that you've had your beauty sleep let's get started. What was all that about with Mrs. Nordquip?"

"What was what about? More specific, please."

Robards let out an exasperated sigh. "Listen, I'm not angling to pass my NEWTS here. The pictures, the music…you said it was Muggles."

"Oh." I nodded. "Yeah, she was held by Muggles. They used masks that looked like one of the Muggle bands to hide their faces, and my guess from watching a lot of movies is that they used the music to cover up any outside sounds so she couldn't give any details to where she was held. That and the music probably would drive anybody away or just make it look like there were some people partying out in the woods."

Robards looked over to Ron, who raised an eyebrow. "Right, we've established that before you went nighty-night. What else?"

"Shit, I don't know. You guys are the Aurors and the Invisibles, I teach Muggle Studies, remember? How did Rolf find her and get her out?"

Robards looked angrily over his shoulder to Boot, who remained as calm and impassive as ever. "Bloody Invisibles won't say. All Scamander would let out was that they had a source."

"Hank, about your letter." Ron shifted his back in the chair, trying to get more comfortable. "About the witch related to Malfoy."

I looked at Ron. "Mmmm ok? What's that got to do with this?'

"Weasley, give it up." Robards sat back in his chair. "Two different cases. Now Professor, what happened when you visited Ragnarok?"

I looked over to Edith. "I did write that report, right?"

"Merlin, Boyd!" Robards smacked his fist on the table. "Yes, you wrote the bloody report. I want to go over it again. What do you remember?"

I adjusted my glasses and tried not to show my irritation. "It's been a couple of years, so I'm sure what's in the report is probably more accurate, but let me hit the highlights. The Administrator there apologized because the Muggle Studies instructor was on holiday. She took a copy of my textbook and said they'd take it under advisement, but not to think of that as a brush off because they were always looking for a decent text since the Hildensnort book was so out of date. We had lunch, walked around the school for a bit and called it good. That was really about it. She tried to get Mel to try lutefisk but I told my wife to skip it because it's gross. That's it, really."

The door to Robards' office opened and a witch walked in and handed Robards a note. He looked at it, crumpled it up and threw it over his shoulder. "Looks like the AAB is on its way over. Should be interesting. Everybody's confined to the Ministry until further notice." He waved us all out of his office and I joined the rest of the meeting attendees in the exodus.

After Harry and Boot took off without saying a word I looked over to Edith. "Guess it's time to go back to the office, huh?"

"Mind if I join you?" Ron put his hand on my shoulder. "Need to talk to you about your letter."

* * *

Unfortunately Ron didn't expand my office like Draco had before so the three of us crammed ourselves into my small little space. Ron conjured a chair and sat with his long legs stuck out of my doorway.

"Right, Professor. Your letter gave us some interesting things to check up on. Edith here's been a big help, doing a lot of the Muggle research."

Edith looked embarrassed. "You're welcome. It's my job, you know."

Ron nodded. "Umm-hmm. And you're good at it. Ok, we did some more digging. I contacted Lavender over in the UMS and had her see what else she could find and she sent over some stuff but all of it stops around 1974 or so. For the last thirty plus years Cassandra Palliurum hasn't existed. I sent a letter this morning to Malfoy, and he should be here soon. I think there's something going on, somehow everything's connected but I just don't know how yet."

I took off my glasses and sat them on my desk. "So you think Cassandra Palliurum is responsible for kidnapping Muggle Studies professors? That's a big jump, Ron. Far as I know the only thing I can think of might be that she burned down a house in Ireland. She never went to a magical school. What's the motive? Angry because she never got to take Muggle Studies? Doesn't make any sense. I knew watching all those old detective movies when you and Hermione come over to the house was going to affect you."

"Pardon me. Mr. Weasley, can I speak to you for a moment?" A young witch stood outside my office and looked nervous. Ron moved his legs aside and she walked in. "So sorry to disturb you. I've been trying to speak with you since yesterday, but…"

Ron waved her off. "Its fine, Phyllis. Been crazy. What can I do for you?"

The witch looked at Edith and me, but didn't say anything. Finally she moved all the way into my office, causing everyone to try and get as close to the walls as possible to let her in. She leaned over and started whispering something in Ron's ear when I heard another knock on the open door. Miranda Fleming stood outside, this time wearing green leather trousers, a jumper that was completely stretched out at the neck and hung off one of her bare shoulders, sky high black teased hair and dangling earrings with little skulls at the bottom. Before I could say anything she stepped over Ron's feet, put her hands on the desk and lifted herself onto the top almost knocking my glasses onto the floor.

"Sorry there, Professor. Rolf said I should come and talk to you."

With my glasses in my hand I covered my face. After peeking through my hands I realized that it was almost physically impossible to get one more person into my office. "What the fuck is this, a goddamned Marx Brothers movie?"

At that moment Draco Malfoy stuck his head around the doorframe. "I take it this isn't a good time for our meeting?"

"Oh no, perfect. Come on in. Invite some more people while you're at it. Plenty of room. Plenty." I shook my head. "Can we either wizard the shit out of this room so we all fit or move someplace else?"

Everybody tried to move at once which led to a giant tangle of people. Phyllis and Edith tried to leave at the same time, bumping into each other and caused a small chain-reaction. Ron bumped into my desk, causing Miranda, who was trying to kneel on the desk in order to get up, to fall right into me. I caught her as a defense mechanism, with the end result being that I had my arms around Miranda's waist, holding her off the ground.

"Oh, Melody's going to love this one." Ron winked at me.

I put Miranda down in the very small space that remained. "That's it, out! Everybody get the fuck out of my office!"

As I was the last one of my doorway I didn't see Harry sitting at Edith's desk. "Having some difficulties, Hank?"

"Shut up, Potter." I took a deep breath. Ok, here's the deal. Miranda, I'll talk to you in a few moments, why don't you get a cup of tea, coffee, firewhiskey, I don't care. Come back in a half hour. Ron you and Phyllis do whatever you need to, Draco why don't you and Edith and I talk and I have no fucking clue why you're here, Harry, but is it urgent? Can it wait?"

Harry sat back in Edith's chair with a smile. "I just wondered if you were hungry. Thought I'd have Scarlet order us up some food."

I waved my hand as if I was ordering minions. "Sure, have at it; just bring it all into my office. Got plenty of room."

Draco walked by me with a smirk. "Pardon me; I need to wizard the shit out of something."

As the door closed and Draco repeated his room-expansion trick I shook my head and looked at my watch. A little past eight in the morning and it had already been one long-ass day.

* * *

As I sat at the long table in my expanded office with a full English breakfast in front of me I took a sip of tea. Draco had pulled out a file folder and was chatting quietly with Edith when Ron walked in, sat down without saying a word, pulled Harry's plated over and tore into breakfast. I looked over to Harry but he didn't let on that he knew anything different about Ron's mood than I did.

I stabbed at a sausage and looked over to Draco. "Ok, hope you don't mind if I eat while we talk, but I am starving. What's up, Draco?"

I heard somebody stifle a laugh after my remark but I was busy eating so I didn't see who had done it. Apparently it didn't faze Draco as when I looked over to him he had his folder open and was looking at a piece of parchment.

"I have contacted various family members, regardless of distance from my branch of the family tree, in regards to the book that was obtained in New Orleans. It has taken some time, and unfortunately a number of Galleons to smooth the way, but some of the members were persuaded to relate their knowledge of Cassandra Palliurum and her parents. Apparently Ogden and Metanira Palliurum were quite aware of their magical heritage, but the misdeeds of the Malfoi family, along with the Bonsang side, led them to completely shun their abilities. According to my source they raised Cassandra as a Muggle, never telling her about her magical heritage. When she came of age she attended the Muggle public schools in New Orleans for a time until her parents moved the family to a placed called Missip…Mississ…"

"Mississippi." I looked across the table at Draco. "It's a state next to Louisiana."

He nodded. "Thank you. The family moved to Mississippi prior to Cassandra's final years of schooling. Apparently the Palliurum family was not wealthy, as research indicated that they never owned a home, instead they moved to a succession of houses and apartments that degraded in quality and location upon each relocation."

"So what happened to the parents?" Ron cocked his head at Draco, all the while continuing to eat.

Draco glanced quickly at Ron and then focused upon me. "That was an unanswered question until Miss Winston found the answer."

"They changed their names." Edith smiled. "Took me a while to figure it all out, but there was a form in the records. By the way, Professor, I need to send an autographed copy of _My Wand is Useless_ to a woman in the Louisiana AAB for her help."

"Sure, Edith. So her parents, what happened to them?"

"They're dead." She shrugged. "Nothing unusual, they passed away in a home for old Muggles. They described it to me; sounded horrible."

"So much for questioning her parents, then." I took a big drink of tea and looked over to Draco. "There's more, isn't there?"

"Possibly. At this point much is conjecture, but I believe that somehow around the 1970's Cassandra Palliurum discovered her heritage. The Muggle records contain no reference to her after that time; it is as if she simply disappeared. During that time in the UMS a group of witches and wizards tried to gain support for eliminating secrecy statues. They took to dressing as Muggles do, lived in communal areas and promoted a philosophy espousing beliefs that all humanity, as well as everything on the planet, was connected."

"Holy shit, they were hippies!" I laughed. "You guys don't know…ok, that'll take too long to explain, but let's just say that there were a lot of Muggles before I was born that did the same thing. They were anti-war, lived in communes, were all about peace, love and…Merlin's pants, wizard hippies!"

"So Cassandra Palliurum, you think she was one of them?" Harry leaned over his plate and looked down the table to Draco. "Any reason in particular?"

"A letter has surfaced mentioning the Wand Children, as they called themselves, and Cassandra. It was written by one of Cassandra's aunts, lamenting the fact that so many young witches and wizards were espousing the assimilation of their culture with the Muggle culture, such as Cassie. I cannot definitively tie the reference of Cassie to Cassandra Palliurum, but it is the closest link we have at the present time."

"So, on one hand you have a woman whose parents hid her abilities from her trying to join the wizarding and Muggle cultures, and on the other hand you have the WLF trying to wipe Muggles of the face of the earth." Ron tapped his chin. "What do they have in common?"

"Muggles. Duh." I shook my head. "Either way Muggles are the problem. Either they'd freak out when they found out that the wizarding world exists or they'll freak out when they're attacked by the WLF."

Ron nodded and didn't say anything. I looked over to Harry and he was studiously watching Ron. For some reason I was reminded of how Ron looked at the chessboard when we'd played wizard's chess before, probably the way that he was bent over his plate, one hand up at his face supporting his head while his elbow rested on the table. I was surprised when suddenly he looked over to me.

"Hank, how did it feel when you found out you were sort of a wizard?"

I snorted. "It felt great. You were there, you remember."

"Hmm-hmm." He nodded his head. "Now think about what it would have felt like if you were more than a 1.3% wizard and your parents had hidden it from you all of your life. No Hogwarts, no Floo…"

"Fucking-a. That would suck."

"Right. And what did you do just now?" Ron looked over to me. "What did you do with your hand?"

_What was he talking about?_ I looked down and realized that I had moved my hand over to where my wand was in my pocket. "Um, I guess I put my hand on my wand."

"Exactly, Hank. It means more to you than I think you even realize. Now imagine Cassandra Palliurum. She's just found out that the magical world exists and she could have been a part of it but that's been taken away. After the shock and surprise would wear off inevitably she would be angry, especially at the Muggle world. What organization do you know that is angry at the Muggle world?"

"Ron, we don't know that she's involved with the WLF." Harry tapped his fingers on the table absentmindedly. "We don't have any proof."

"Not yet." Ron looked back over to me. "Reverse it again, Hank. When you found out you were a 1.3% wizard did you feel fully accepted by magical people?"

"No." I twisted my neck and heard a slight popping sound. "There's still some who don't think I'm any kind of wizard, just a Muggle."

"And your attitude towards those people?" Ron angled his head to the side. "Sorry, Hank."

"Yeah, I don't like a lot of them very much. Especially when they say shit in the papers or to Melody."

"Weasley, I think you're on to something." Draco closed his file folder quickly. "I believe I'll need to provide as much background for you as possible, but I do believe you're onto something."

At that point I was a little bit angry at Ron for bringing shit up again, the potion was beginning to wear off and I had a full stomach so I didn't want to think anymore. "What the hell are you guys talking about? Spit it out."

"She's playing both sides, Hank." Ron looked at Draco and Harry; all three of them nodded. "The leaked information about the WLF, the rescue of the Muggle Studies professor, the burned out house in Ireland…she's trying to bring down both the wizarding and the Muggle worlds. She's angry because she's not accepted in either the Muggle or wizarding worlds."

"The worlds? Isn't that a pretty big jump? I mean, kidnapping Muggle Studies professors and torching an old house in Ireland is a small thing compared to worldwide conflict." I took off my glasses. "If she wanted to destroy everything why didn't she throw in with Voldemort?"

"Too small of a scale." Draco's voice was low and eerily calm. "He wanted the world, of course, but his numbers were too small. Think of what numbers the WLF can generate now, across the globe." Draco stood up suddenly and clasped his folder in his hands. His knuckles were slightly whiter than usual. "Weasley, Potter, I shall be in touch soon. Professor, please excuse me. Again, thank you for your help, Miss Winston, it was invaluable." Before anyone could say a word Draco walked out of my office, black robe trailing slightly behind him.

After the door was shut I looked over to Harry. "Sorry, guess I screwed that up."

After Draco left a knock on the door got everyone's attention, and that was further intensified when Miranda Fleming walked in the office. She sat down quickly in the seat right next to me, ignoring the other empty chairs.

"I figured you'd run long so I popped down and saw Rolf. Good time?"

I looked over and saw Harry and Ron stand up and head for the door. Harry smirked at me. "We'll just leave you to it, then. Coming, Miss Winston?"

"No." Edith's voice was flat. "I'm sure the Professor would prefer that I stay."

I didn't see either of the Aurors' faces but I could guess their expressions. I'd get them back later. As soon as the door was closed I turned to the Invisible next to me. "Ok, Miranda. What's the news from Rolf?" I saw her glance over at Edith. "If I'm here, Edith's here. Go ahead."

"Oh all right." Miranda stretched her arms over her head and yawned. "Well, I can't tell you much because he didn't tell me everything, but your Muggle music came in handy."

"My Muggle music? What are you talking about?"

"The stuff that was in the papers. The Muggle newspapers? You know, Miss Gradenko? Well, Rolf found some things when he was working and told me to tell you that he thinks he'll be getting closer to Miss Gradenko. He said he found the Muggle Studies professor thanks to you." She reached in to her purse which was shaped like a pink hippo and handed me a small sack. "He said you'd know what to do with them."

I took a look in the bag and dumped the contents out on the table. "Shit. How am I going to get those to work?"

Miranda crinkled her nose at me. "Isn't it Muggle stuff?"

I picked up the cassette and opened the case. A mix tape on an old blank cassette. "Yeah, it is. About twenty years ago I could have listened to it, but now? I don't know anyone that has a working cassette player."

Miranda blew a large blue bubble, popped it and snapped her gum. "Well, you'll figure it out. Oh, and it looks like Terry and I are leaving Hogwarts. Tell the boys I'll miss them." She giggled, stood up and left the room, only pausing at the door to stop and blow a kiss at me before leaving.

"No wonder your wife hates her." Edith picked up one of the cassettes. "So these are useless?"

"Not quite. Might take some time to find a working cassette player. Like I said, twenty years ago it wouldn't have been a problem." I looked over my shoulder at Edith. "So Melody hates Miranda?"

Edith laughed. "Oh yeah. When she came back to your house to say I didn't need to housesit anymore I got an earful. I guess all the girls at Hogwarts can't stand her."

"Humm." I put the cassettes back into the bag. "So now what? Can I leave or are there more meetings? I really need to get back to Hogwarts, but Robards said we were here until further notice."

"And you need to give Melody her Valentine's Day present. I know you'll like yours."

_Oh fuck._ "Today's Valentine's Day?"

"Professor, don't tell me you forgot?"

I shook my head. "I didn't realize it was today, up so early and hauled in here to the Ministry. No, I didn't forget to get her anything, but everything's at Hogwarts. Plus I have to see Neville; he's got my…" I took off my hat and put it back on again, jamming it low. "Shit. Let's go find Robards and find out what's going on."

* * *

When Edith and I arrived at Robards' office there was a small crowd in the waiting area. I recognized the deep blue robes immediately; AAB agents. I didn't recognize any of them, so I went over to Robards' assistant.

"Excuse me; is he going to be long? I need to head back to Hogwarts and I was told I had to be here until…"

"KENDRICKS! GET IN HERE!"

Even with the door closed everyone could hear Robards yell. I watched the witch sigh, pick up her notepad and quill and quickly walk into Robards' office. The door had barely shut, though, before Ron walked out.

"Hank, you and Edith can come with me. Won't take but a moment. Let's head to my office, bit more space than yours."

I shrugged, looked over to Edith and nodded my head towards Ron. We followed him until we got to his office. I noticed that his assistant was gone and her desk was strangely clean. No personal items sat on top of the desk.

"Hey Ron, what happened to your assistant?"

He rubbed his temples briefly and then opened his door. "Come on in, I'll tell you."

Edith and I sat down in Ron's office, taking care not to sit in Harry's chair. When Ron was finally seated he looked at the two of us.

"Ok, first things first. Robards is going to be busy with the AAB for the rest of the morning, if not the day, so he said that the restrictions were lifted. Hank, you can head back to Hogwarts whenever, but I'd suggest picking up a couple of Pepper-Up Potions before you go. As for why Phyllis' desk is clean, that's what I wanted to talk to the two of you about. Phyllis has left the Ministry. She's engaged to this bloke in the International Relations department and they're moving to Italy. She wanted to give me two weeks but I told her just to leave. You can guess what that means."

"I take it you need a new assistant, Mr. Weasley." Edith smiled at me, and then at Ron. "Starting immediately?"

"Ummm, yeah." Ron looked over at me. "Hank, you're hardly at the office. I doubt that once this is over Robards will keep you on, and if he does…"

I held up my hand. "Its fine, Ron. Don't worry. As Melody likes to tell me, I'm no Auror."

"Good. It's settled then." Ron leaned back in his chair. "Of course, Edith, whatever you're working on for Hank still goes, especially since it's the same thing I'm working on."

"I haven't said yes yet, have I?" Edith crossed her legs and sat up straight. "What are your terms?"

I laughed at the look of shock on Ron's face and stood up. "I'll let you two have fun negotiating. I'm due back at Hogwarts. After all it's…" I glanced at my watch. "It's really two o'clock? Good grief."

* * *

The moment I arrived in Titus' fireplace I brushed the powder off and began walking as fast as possible to my room. I also realized while walking through the halls and nodding at students that I wasn't dressed as usual, I was tired and I'd forgotten to get the potions that Ron had recommended. The moment I made it into my room I threw my backpack onto my bed, kicked off my shoes and called for Nonky.

"Yes, Professor Muggle? Professor Muggle needs Nonky? Nonky can help."

"I do need your help, Nonky. Normally I wouldn't ask but today sure hasn't been a normal day. Can you stop by Professor Longbottom's classroom, after his class ends, not before, and tell him that you're taking Melody's present? Once he gives it to you please take it to her right away, then come back and let me know what she says. Got it?"

Nonky nodded his head, causing his ears to flap wildly, and before I could say another word he was gone. I looked at my watch, realized that I had a half hour until my next class was scheduled to start, so I went over to my desk and pulled out the other parts of Melody's present. The charmed appointment book was an idea from Hermione, and I thought it was a great gift, I just hoped Melody would appreciate it. The little box from Fiona's Filigree was wrapped so I didn't need to worry about that; I knew she would like the little baby booties charm for her bracelet. The box of Honeyduke's finest was also wrapped, so I congratulated myself in thinking ahead. All of my presents were gift-wrapped by the shops, so I didn't have to muck everything up with my crappy wrapping skills. My only problem was how to package it so that Calliope could take it. If I had been thinking about it I would have sent everything off with Dobby, but that ship had already sailed.

I went over to my wardrobe and began rummaging around, hoping to find a shoebox or something similar to put everything in, and while moving clothing around something caught my eye. I moved the suits across the bar, hangers sliding to the other side and that was when I saw it. There was a large red bow on the top of one of the hangers, right next to my MacDonald kilts. After taking it out, careful not to mess the bow, I hung it on the top of the wardrobe door. A card hung from a ribbon and I recognized Melody's handwriting immediately.

_Dearest Hank,_

_Happy Valentine's Day! I thought since you know more about your Boyd side they should be represented as well. I thought it would look wonderful in our family portrait once the bump arrives._

_Love,_

_Your Melody_

There on the hanger was a top of the line, finest quality kilt in the Boyd tartan. Immediately I felt like I'd not done enough for her; after all, she was the one carrying the bump. At that point, though, it was too late to do anything about it. I made a mental note to make it up to her, found the box that my hiking boots came in, packaged everything up and made my way to the owlery.

* * *

My hair was still wet when from one of the quickest showers I'd ever taken in my life when I walked into my classroom just as the sixth years were leaving. I received a bit of teasing, but when I turned towards my desk expecting to see Arthur Weasley I was shocked; sitting at my desk, quite calmly, was Headmaster Titus.

"Professor Boyd, so good to see you. Wasn't sure when you would arrive."

I walked up and sat on top of the front table. "Thanks, Headmaster. Wasn't sure when I would be back. How were they?"

"Oh they were splendid." He stood up and walked over to me. "Does me good to get back in front of students every now and then. You know, I think this might be a good exercise for the other classes. Give the professors a day off and give me a chance to flex my instructional muscles, so to speak."

"Sounds good." It was rude, and I couldn't help it, but I yawned. "Sorry, had a nap but I don't think it was enough."

He patted me on the arm. "Rather understandable, my boy. I take it you had a productive day? Everything all right?"

"Yeah. I'll tell you more after class has ended for the day. Oh, before I forget, Terry Boot and Miranda Fleming won't be here at Hogwarts anymore, they've been assigned other duties."

Titus chuckled. "I daresay opinion will be divided upon hearing that news. Miss Fleming has been quite the topic of discussion amongst the students. I'm sure her absence will be noted."

"She's gone?" Ruby Smythe-Warring stood at the doorway. "Oh, thank Merlin."

Gavin winked at me. "I'll leave you to it, then."

I assumed my regular spot at the edge of my desk while the rest of the seventh years walked into class. I didn't have to bother making an announcement that Terry and Miranda weren't coming back to Hogwarts as Ruby took care of that with a very happy attitude. Once everyone was in place I tried to quiet them down but it didn't go so well. Franny and Peter were almost nauseating to look at as they made sappy expressions at each other, Ruby looked ecstatic, was almost in Carrick's lap and Liv…Liv did nothing but stare at a bright red card that literally gave off little semi-transparent hearts in waves.

"Ok, I know its Valentine's Day, but I'd like to get through today's lesson." I put my head in my hands and took a deep breath as a wave of fatigue hit me. I looked back up at them. "So put everything away. First person to have a Valentine's distraction loses two house points, got it?"

"Did you have tea this morning, professor? You're kind of cranky." Poesy looked at me and smiled broadly.

"Yes, Poesy, I had tea. I was called away very early this morning. Enough about that, though. Let's get to…"

I was interrupted by Nonky's Apparition pop. He stood on the table in front of me, wearing little silver wings on his back and carrying a red bow and arrow. Instead of his normal t-shirt he was wearing a sparkly red shirt that read _You Charm Me._ "Mistress Melody said to tell Professor Muggle Happy Valentine's Day and that next time Professor Muggle sends her flowers that she loves very much to wait until Mistress Melody is not in a meeting. She also loves her other presents and loves you very much, she does." With that Nonky Apparated out of my classroom.

My entire classroom dissolved into raucous laughter. I stood speechless at the front of the class while they laughed, and before I could even say anything Liv was by my side with the swear book. I looked at her strangely.

"I haven't even said anything yet!"

"Just planning ahead, Professor."

I put my hand in my pockets, felt a decent amount of money, and pulled it out. "Fuck it. That was completely unexpected, there's no way in hell you little monsters will even pay attention after that, I'm so damn tired it's not even funny, and I really don't want to listen to your jokes and shit this afternoon. Take another day to work on your assignments and get the hell out of my classroom."

They all laughed at me as they gathered up their books. I simply held out my hand and let Liv pick out the appropriate amount and place it in the book.


	17. Holiday Meetings

**Chapter 17: Holiday Meetings**

The rest of February went by uneventfully, which was somewhat disconcerting as I'd hoped that with all of the activity at the Ministry regarding Lene Nordquip's rescue something would have happened, but it was very quiet. I'd sent a letter to Ron, but Edith had owled back letting me know that there wasn't any new information. Edith also wrote that she had negotiated a nice salary and benefits, so I felt better knowing that she wasn't bored out of her skull since I wasn't at the Ministry.

March entered in a cold, blustery manner and the days sped on towards the Easter holiday. I was looking forward to Easter almost as much as Arthur Weasley; I'd made arrangements with Arthur that Mel and I would come over to The Burrow for a couple of days while we worked on the Anglia. Initially I'd just wanted to stay for the day, but once Molly got wind of everything it turned into both Mel and I staying over. When I informed Melody of the plans she shook her head, as she knew that Molly was planning on giving her the parenting talk that she'd given Ginny, Hermione and Angelina. When I asked why Molly was doing that, instead of Lane, Mel waved me off claiming it was a conspiracy between Molly and my Mom.

The big event at Hogwarts was the Gryffindor versus Ravenclaw Quidditch match which lasted for-freaking-ever, even longer than the Hufflepuff and Slytherin match. This time I was prepared, though, as I asked Nonky to pack me some supplies. Once again I forgot to be specific and ended up not only eating my fill but provided enough food that the Ravenclaw section I sat in with Cho didn't bother to go to supper that night. I did receive some teasing from Ron and George Weasley about sitting on the Ravenclaw side, but I reminded them of my rotation. After the match they weren't as happy, though, as Ravenclaw once again beat Gryffindor.

All in all it was a nice stretch of nice, quiet, normal Hogwarts. _The Daily Prophet_ had turned its focus towards International Galleon exchange rates which made me happy as the missing professors were no longer page one material. They still covered the issue, but way back in the paper as there really wasn't anything new to report and they'd already blown through their speculative pieces. Nobody from Hufflepuff had been given detention, Lavinia was doing great, Melody's last letter said she and the bump were doing well…I almost didn't know what to do with myself.

* * *

When the seventh years arrived for the last class before the Easter break I should have known it would have been interesting, but the relative calm had lulled me into a false sense of security. I was in the middle of looking through one of my books to find a reference and when I looked up every single one of my students had a pacifier in their mouths, blue for boys, pink for girls.

"Oh very funny, you can take out your pacifiers now. Actually, leave them in, I think I like the quiet."

I saw Poesy and Liv look at each other, and then Poesy took hers out. "Mum always called it a dummy."

"I always though they were called comforters." Carrick looked over at Poesy.

"That's what they call a duvet in America." Liv shook her head. "Remember when we had that discussion? What year was it?"

"Fourth, I think." Ruby twirled her pacifier on her finger. "I think Poesy got in trouble that day. Some comment about stuffing a duvet in her mouth."

"Pfft, I was always in trouble that year." Poesy smiled at me. "I'm much better now, right?"

"Seriously, y'all, I liked it better when you had whatever-the-hell you want to call them in your mouths. Made things a lot quieter." I shook my head. "Ok, I know you'll bug the shit out of me until I tell you, sit down, Liv, I'll pay up later, so here's your update. The bump is doing fine, Melody's doing fine except she's kind of cranky now but if I hear any of you say a word about that I'm taking away points, I don't care if it isn't school-related. The only other thing I know is that I'm going with her on a checkup to St. Mungo's over holiday."

"Are you going to find out if it's a boy or a girl?" Franny smiled at me. "The baby should be big enough now, right?"

"Yes. Um, no. I mean…yes, we could find out but I'm not sure if we are. And since when did this turn into the baby hour, this is Muggle Studies." I sat back on my desk and took a sip of tea. "You are supposed to be getting ready for your NEWTS, right? Ok, your parchment is due, so hand it on up to the front. Ruby, can you collect them, please?"

* * *

The second morning of Easter holiday at Colony House I woke up early for some reason. Of course, it had nothing to do with the fact that Melody was all over the place the night before, eventually ending up sleeping across the bed instead of in the normal position, had every single piece of bedding wrapped around her and Spit was sleeping on my pillow. Nothing at all to do with that. I headed into the kitchen to make some tea only to find Lavinia sitting in a chair by the window with Flick and Virgil in her lap, reading.

"Looks like your morning is going ok, Lavinia. Is there tea?"

"Shouldn't take long, Hank. Just made some a few minutes ago."

I blinked several times and headed to the stove and put the kettle on, sat down at the kitchen table and unfolded the _Daily_ _Prophet_ that was next to the sugar bowl. I did my quick usual scan of the headlines, realized that nothing had made the paper about the missing professors and started reading mildly interesting things until the kettle sang. Before I could get up Lavinia was in the kitchen, humming to herself.

"You don't have to do that, Lavinia. I can get it."

She waved me off. "I need another cup. After all, I'll have all the babies today."

"Babies? Sorry, remind me."

She added the milk and handed me my tea. "I worry about you, you know. I think you'll forget your baby somewhere. We're going to The Burrow and all the babies will be there. James, Albus, Rose, Freddie…"

"Right, right. Sorry. Not awake yet."

Lavinia sat down across from me and I separated the entertainment and social sections from the paper and handed them to her. For a few minutes the two of us sat there and read, drinking tea. All of the sudden she sat her paper down.

"You did tell Melody we're taking that red and white thing, right?"

"Huh? What? Oh, the VW, of course I…wait. Shit."

She shook her head. "How long will it take?"

"Um…not sure. A few hours, not too long. Why?"

"Do you think she'll like riding in it for that long when she could just take the Floo? Why are you taking it, anyway?"

"I want to show it to Arthur, plus I have a transmission for his Anglia in the back. Don't tell Molly." I took a sip of tea. "You know, you might be right, might be too long of a trip for her. She does use the loo a lot now. Plus it'll be bumpy."

"Why don't you let her take the Floo? I'll ride with you. I've never been in that one before, just your little black one."

Good idea, I think she'd like that better."

"What would I like better?" Melody walked into the kitchen and sat down next to me. "Don't tell me it involves that red and white thing."

"It's not a Thing, those have convertible tops and the doors come off. Windshield also folds down, but I don't recommend that. Wait, it's a windscreen here; either way I don't recommend it unless you like eating bugs. No Mel, Lavinia had a good idea, you're going to take the Floo over to The Burrow while we drive over there."

"Things have doors and the top comes off? You're not making any sense." Melody sighed, took out her wand and levitated the tea over to the table. After preparing a cup of tea and taking a drink she looked over at Lavinia, who was giving her a stern look. "What? The tea? Ok, I know I'm not supposed to have any of this tea but that other stuff tastes horrible. Just one cup."

I picked up the paper and hid behind it quickly so Melody wouldn't see my face; it was funny how Lavinia had turned into the pregnancy police, taking bad foods away from Mel and reminding her to take her prenatal potions. For the next few minutes Lavinia informed Melody that she had been reading some of the baby care books in the Colony House library, and the chapters on pregnancy indicated limiting caffeine intake as well as other things. I suddenly found the Quidditch scores very interesting until suddenly my paper disappeared from out of my hands.

"Hank!" Mel looked at me sternly. "You never answered me. Why are you driving over there? It makes no sense."

"I have stuff for Arthur in the VW, plus I wanted to show it to him. We're not taking it to the UMS so I want to drive it."

She shook her head and handed me back my slightly rumpled newspaper. "Well, we're not due over there for hours. At least you can make me some breakfast."

I glanced over at Lavinia and she shook her head slightly. "Ok, breakfast coming up, but right after that Lavinia and I need to get going, it'll take a while to drive over there."

Melody rolled her eyes. "Merlin, I don't get the love of those Muggle cars, they're noisy, loud, slow...at least you've given me a column idea, putting up with Muggle lunacy. Do we have anymore of those sausages?"

* * *

When the VW bus pulled finally pulled up to stop in the grass in front of The Burrow Lavinia looked over to me and shook her head. "Next time I think I'll take the Floo. That took forever! And all those other cars, going in front of you and turning every which way…I don't know how you do it."

I shrugged. "It's something you learn, just like witches and wizards learn how to Apparate. You need a license for both of them.

"Well, I'm glad I'm a witch." She opened the door and exited, Spit in her arms, heading quickly towards the house.

I laughed and turned off the engine, pocket the keys and started to head towards the shed but Arthur met me halfway.

"I heard you coming, what a wonderful sound! Much different than your other one."

"Different engine types. How are you, Arthur?"

"Doing well, Hank, doing well. Now then, did you bring my transmissioned?"

"Yeah. It's in the back. It's pretty heavy; they had to use a portable crane to get it in there. I'm just glad Nate had them upgrade the engine or else it would have taken me longer to get here. You don't have one of those, do you?"

Arthur cocked his head at me. "You're driving a Muggle car, Hank, but did you forget a few things?" He took out his wand. "Lead me to it, then."

_Duh. He's a wizard._ "Right, I guess I did forget a few things." I opened the doors and soon Arthur had the transmission levitated, out of the van and headed towards the shed. I followed behind him and since he was concentrating on keeping everything aloft I ran forward and opened up the shed doors.

For the next couple of hours it was a shade tree mechanic's dream, as I slid under the Anglia and Arthur used magic to do things that would have required several specific pieces of equipment. During our time out in the shed Arthur filled me in on his current plans for the Anglia. He still wanted to have it sorted in 'perfect Muggle order' but this time instead of a trip around London his plan was for him and Molly to tour England, Scotland and Wales. Of course the full details of the plan had yet to be imparted to Molly, but I didn't tell him exactly how I thought that would work. Melody had balked at the few hours of driving in the van, so I wasn't sure Molly would be very excited. Granted, Molly wasn't six months pregnant, but still.

Something was sticking in my mind, though, and it wasn't related to the Anglia. Ever since Neville had mentioned that Draco couldn't come to Hogwarts when Scorpius was a student it was nagging at me, and I figured Arthur would know.

"Um, Arthur, can I ask you something?"

He wiped his hands on a rag. "Of course, Hank. Flame away."

I laughed. "I think you mean fire away. Ok, um, Neville mentioned to me that Draco isn't allowed at Hogwarts, something to do with his agreement with the Ministry after Voldemort was defeated. But that doesn't make sense; he came with Ron and Robards when they got rid of Flurbin and then he came to my wedding. How is that possible?"

"Yes. Well." Arthur took a deep breath. "On both of those occasions he was acting in a professional capacity, as part of the Ministry. When Titus was relieved of his duties Draco was there as a researcher and solicitor; when he attended your wedding it was also as a member of the Ministry. You recall your wedding was an unofficial Ministry event, I'm sure. Those were job functions so he was allowed on grounds. As for when his son attends Hogwarts it would be a personal matter and that is still covered by his amnesty agreement with the Ministry."

"Solicitor? So he's a lawyer?"

Arthur nodded slightly. "Of sorts. I'm afraid Draco Malfoy's position within the Ministry has always been somewhat vague; of course, public knowledge of his involvement in matters has always been kept in the shadows. Could provide some bad publicity for the Ministry, you know."

"Thanks, Arthur." I slid back underneath the Anglia. "Can you hand me the socket wrench?"

"So you drove that blasted thing all the way out here and you don't even check on your pregnant wife? Henry, what am I going to do with you?" I heard Melody's voice from the vicinity of the shed doors. "And where are you?"

I slid out from underneath the Anglia and smiled at her. "Hi love, Arthur and I are…"

"Playing like little boys with their toys." Molly stood next to Melody. "Oh Hank, you are completely filthy. You will be clean before you step foot in the house."

"Of course, dear." Arthur walked over towards the women. "Wouldn't think about coming in like this. I'll take care of it, don't worry."

* * *

The Burrow was hilarious. Weasley grandchildren were everywhere, doing all manner of things and Lavinia looked as if she was in heaven. When I walked in she had Albus in her arms and James was following her around the room. I sat down at the table next to Arthur as our wives drank tea.

"Looks like she's got things under control." I nodded towards Lavinia. "As my gran would say she's 'happy as a pig in slop.' Not that I think she's a pig, mind you."

"Of course, dear, we understand." Molly glanced over to the baby area. "It does make things easier. And speaking of making things easier, Hank, I understand that you'll be attending a class at St. Mungo's soon."

"Didn't have those things when the children came along." Arthur elbowed me slightly. "When Bill came along it was 'it's a boy, here you go, run along then.' Much easier these days."

"Arthur Weasley!" Molly shook her head at him. "It was not like that, you old hippogriff! My mother stayed with us for several weeks after Bill was born."

I saw Arthur glance over at me and I knew if I looked at him any longer I'd break out laughing, as it was readily apparent from his expression that his mother-in-law's visit was not one of his favorite events. I nodded at Molly. "I'm sure we'll have plenty of help. Mom and Dad are coming over, but I'm sure you already knew that, didn't you?"

"Yes, well, your mum and I have exchanged several letters. I've assured her that everything will be fine, that St. Mungo's is a top-of-the-line facility. She's quite anxious, you know."

"I'm sure. Just like Lane is, right Mel?"

Melody rolled her eyes. "Bloody hell. Mum's driving me mental. The day isn't complete unless I get at least one owl. Sometimes it doesn't even have a letter, just a recipe or a clipping from a magazine."

"I'm sure she's just very excited about her only daughter's first baby." Molly sighed happily. "Of course, all grandchildren are important, not just the first one."

All of the sudden I flashed back to when James Potter was born, how Molly camped out over at Grimmauld Place, and visions of both Lane and Mom at Colony House came to the forefront. If I could stay sane before the bump was born it would be a miracle.

The rest of the afternoon went well, a relaxing visit with Molly and Arthur. Lavinia wasn't quite as thrilled as I was as all of the parents eventually dropped by and picked up their children, but she did manage to talk us all into letting her watch the Potter boys the next day while Ginny did some of her Quidditch writing. I was picking Arthur's brain about a cassette player, still the one thing I didn't have that was needed to listen to the tapes that Miranda Fleming had left me; I had come up empty in my search, but as almost all of my friends were witches and wizards I wasn't surprised. I had sent an owl to Mike Greene to see if he could find something, but his searches had come up empty. It was after Arthur's insistence that he had a tape player that we ended up back in the shed that evening.

"I'm sure it's here somewhere, Hank." Arthur was looking though his piles of Muggle items and, to be honest, I wasn't very encouraged. "I know I have something…ah, yes! Here we go."

Once the machine was placed on the table I laughed and shook my head. "Close, Arthur. That's an old reel-to-reel tape player, not exactly what I'm looking for." I watched his face and saw his spirits drop. "Of course, this might be a good job for you, looking for a working cassette player. It'd be unofficial Ministry business and it would let you go to all sorts of Muggle shops."

"Now that is a good idea, Hank. Can you lend me one of those tapes so I can ask the shop owners if they have the correct equipment?"

I nodded. "Sure. I think there's a blank one in the bunch they gave me."

A knock on the shed door took away our attention from the topic at hand as Lavinia stood in the doorway. "Hank, letter for you."

I wiped my hands on my jeans and took the letter. "Thanks." After she left I scanned the letter. "Holy shit, Arthur, they've found two more of the missing Muggle Studies professors. They're in the Canadians' custody right now. Same thing as Lene Nordquip, some sort of suspended animation thing."

Arthur was over to me in a flash and I handed him the letter. After reading quickly he looked up to me. "My guess is that the Invisibles were involved again, not much detail." He handed the letter back to me. "It appears things are coming together. Dare say you might be getting involved again."

I took a deep breath. "Great timing, with the bump. I'm sure Melody will love that." I glanced over at him. "How did you do it, Arthur? I mean, the first time Vold…"

"Tom Riddle, Hank. Please don't use the other name."

"Right, right. Tom Riddle, when he was around the first time, you and Molly had little ones. How did you do it and not have Molly worried out of her mind?"

He clapped me on the shoulder. "Unfortunately there was nothing I could do to keep her from worrying; you know Molly. I just did the best I could."

* * *

The next morning I woke to an empty bed and wonderful breakfast smells. After throwing on some clothes I made my way downstairs to find everybody in the middle of breakfast.

"About time, Hank. I was going to send Lavinia up to make sure you were still alive." Melody popped a piece of spicy sausage into her mouth.

I sat down next to Arthur, ignoring his smirk. "Morning. I guess I needed some sleep. Some people, who shall remain nameless, are bed hogs."

"Hank, I was just telling the ladies that you have a task for me, something suited to my particular interests." Arthur glanced briefly at Molly. "Utmost importance."

_Utmost importance? What the hell…oh, yeah._ "Umm, yeah, right. Can't do it myself, and Arthur's the only one I can think of."

"I'm sure Arthur will enjoy that." Molly gave me a look that I'd seen before, usually when one of her children had done something wrong. "After breakfast, of course."

"Of course, Molly dear, of course." Arthur agreed a little too emphatically. To change the topic he reached over and handed me _The Daily Prophet_. "Nothing in the paper this morning, Hank."

I took the paper and scanned the front page. "Hmmm…maybe I should go into the Ministry today. See what's going on."

I felt someone kick me under the table and looked around. Lavinia looked at me, looked down to her watch and tapped its face with her finger several times. _What was she trying to say? It was still fairly early in the day, I was sure that the Ministry would be in full swing._

"Henry, we have to be at St. Mungo's at ten." Melody put a hand on her belly. "You do remember why, of course?"

_Oh hell, if I would have forgotten that she would kill me_. "Of course, Mel." I took a look at my watch. "Um, it'd take too long to drive back. Arthur, you don't mind if I leave the VW here, do you?"

"I'm sure that will be fine with Arthur, dear." Molly gave me a stern look. "You will take the keys, of course."

Once Lavinia had been dropped off with Ginny, and we were assured that she wouldn't be a problem, Mel and I arrived at St. Mungo's. This time, instead of heading to the Maternity floor we were sent off to a room towards one of the bottom floors. Mel had the little brochure for the class in her hand and was busy reading it so I was in charge of finding the room, which turned out to be a mistake. Of course I got lost and we ended up somewhere near the cafeteria, or canteen as I was reminded, and found the room approximately five minutes after the class had started. Mel was in a wonderful mood when we arrived.

"Ah yes, Mr. and Mrs. Boyd, do come and take your place. I believe there is a spot over by the window."

The elderly Healer in bright pink and blue robes pointed to a spot in the room which had a small mat and a pillow. We wove our way through the other couples and sat down on the mat, Melody in front of me. After we were in place the Healer began speaking again, and I had to look around Mel to see her.

"Mr. and Mrs. Boyd, we haven't really started yet, so you haven't missed anything. My name is Arabelle Whoppit. I have been a Healer with St. Mungo's for a very long time, mostly in Maternity. Now, has everybody read the introductory chapter of your book?"

_Read the first chapter? There was reading? Nobody told me that!_ I leaned over to Mel. "You didn't say there was homework."

"Shush, Hank. I forgot. I didn't do it, either. Pretend you're one of your students and play along."

I looked up to the Healer and realized she was looking directly at me. "Sorry, ma'am."

Arabelle Whoppit reminded me of Molly Weasley as I got a rather stern look from her. "Yes. Now the chapter went over some of the basics, and I won't cover them now. If you haven't read the chapter…" She looked right at me, causing me to hide slightly behind Melody "…then I highly recommend doing so at your earliest opportunity. Today we will focus on making the mother-to-be comfortable during those first few hours of labor."

For the next half-hour Mel and I focused on breathing, specific places on her back that I could massage and other things that made me feel somewhat superior. I remembered talking to my brother-in-law John about all of those things; nothing was different about a pregnant Muggle or a pregnant witch. Arabelle had walked around the room, examining our progress and had actually pointed out that I was doing everything properly. _Screw the book, I had this down._

After taking a small break for healthy snacks and drinks we resumed our positions in the room and I was feeling as if I'd walked into a pop quiz after already reading the entire textbook. That was quickly dispelled.

"Now, mums and dads, we come to one of the most important parts of our class today, the shielding spells." Arabelle took out her wand. "As you know from the book that was provided by St. Mungo's, birth can cause a large release of magic, especially for the mum. Dads, wands out please."

_Uh-oh._ This wasn't going to go well. "Uh, Mel?"

"Just try, Hank. Ok?"

I took out my wand. Looking around the room I wondered what, besides my wife, was flammable.

Arabelle walked around the room. "Now, before we get started…" She stopped and looked at the door. "Yes, Healer Weasley?"

Everyone in the room turned and looked at the door where a pregnant Audrey Weasley stood. I watched as she walked over towards me.

"I apologize for interrupting your class, Healer Whoppit. I'm afraid that Professor Boyd is needed at the Ministry."

Mel rolled her eyes and I put away my wand. "Sorry, Mel. I'll hurry back as soon as I can."

She shook her head. "Don't worry, Hank. Class is about over and we all know about your wand skills."

I stood up, apologized to Healer Whoppit and stood next to Audrey. "The Ministry? Who contacted you?"

Audrey took my arm and led me through the mats full of pregnant witches and their partners. "Percy, of course. And don't worry about the shielding spell, I asked to be contacted when it's time."

I looked down at her belly and then back up to her face. "You're due right after Mel, aren't you? Sure you'll be able to…"

She patted me on the arm. "I'm fine, Hank. I am a Healer, you know. Besides, the baby won't be here until the end of June, your baby will be weeks before that."

* * *

I had to arrive at the visitor's entrance to the Ministry since I didn't have my badge with me; I hadn't planned on going into my office so I left it back at Hogwarts. I made a mental note to keep it with me at all times when I saw Edith walking towards me.

"Hello Professor. Sorry to interrupt your class."

I shook my head. "No problem, Edith. I think we were at the non-Muggle portion of the class anyways. So, where are we going?"

She shook her head. "Not here. Let's go to your office, old time's sake."

When we arrived at my office there was an elderly witch sitting at Edith's old desk. She stood up as we got closer, and Edith gestured towards her.

"Professor, this is Mrs. Bletchley, she's assigned to you when you're here at the office."

I shook the woman's hand. "Nice to meet you, Mrs. Bletchley."

"Likewise, Professor. Will you need me, Miss Winston? It is time for my tea break."

"I think we'll be just fine, Mrs. Bletchley." Edith smiled at her and then winked at me.

As my new assistant slowly left the office area I looked over to Edith. "How old is she?"

Edith shrugged. "Auror Robards said she was old when he started, so she must be ancient. Go on in your office, I'll have tea ready in a mo."

I headed into my office, sat down and looked at the two file folders that lay upon my desk. The folders contained the information about the two rescued Muggle Studies professors, one from Vancouver and one from New York. I remembered meeting the professor from New York, as Melody and I had stopped by Houdini, but I'd never met or heard of the Canadian professor except in the Auror briefings.

Right after finishing the Canadian's file Edith sat down and slid a cup of tea over to me. "So, how was your class? Ready for the big day?"

I took the tea and shook my head. "I thought I was doing ok, but then we got to the wand-waving part. Felt like a student again, especially as there was a reading assignment and I had no idea about that."

"Oh yes, heard all about that part of the class from Ron. Auror Weasley, I mean."

"Edith, it's just us here, I'm sure he won't mind if you refer to him by his name."

She glanced out the door towards her old desk. "Sorry, Mrs. Bletchley called me on the carpet about it one day, said it wasn't proper, didn't show respect and rot like that. Of course he doesn't mind. Right, well, you know he and Mrs. Weasley are expecting, so I had to block off his calendar one morning last week for their class. You should have heard him complain about the reading part, especially as they already have Rose, but he read it as if it was the latest intelligence and he had a press briefing. Robards stopped by and when I told him where Ron was I expected him to blow up, you know, the usual Robards. Funny thing, though, he just nodded and told me to have Ron stop by his office when he got in. Between you and me, Professor, I think he really likes Ron."

I nodded. "You're probably right. Actually, I'm pretty sure you are, Harry's told me as much." I took a sip of tea. "Ok, then, we've had the nice chit-chat part of the deal, so what's up? Obviously this is about the two Muggle Studies professors."

"Mmmm-hmmm." She nodded. "Ron's stopping by soon, after he gets out of another meeting."

"Works for me." I took a look at Edith. "So how is it, working for Ron?"

"To be honest I love it. Involved in so many things." She smiled apologetically at me. "Sorry if that came off wrong, Professor. You…"

I held up my hand. "Stop right there, Edith. I know it's not the same. Ron's a real Auror, I'm kind of like a, um, a, well I'm not a real Auror, I'm not sure what the hell you would call me."

"Well, I don't know either, Professor. All I know is that your name has come up a lot, lately."

"Really?" I leaned forward. "Fill me in."

Edith took a deep breath. "I can't say too much, I'm sure Ron will tell you what you really need to know, but they've been discussing your textbook and the missing professors. Oh, and your trip to New Orleans with Mr. Malfoy."

That made me somewhat worried so I reached into my desk and pulled out a pipe. While searching through the drawers Edith finally took pity on me and showed me where the spare tobacco was located, sealed in an airtight container of some kind. After packing my pipe she tipped her wand forward and it finally lit. I was puffing away, chatting about what New Orleans was like, specifically Rue Avenue, when Edith and I heard a shout.

"Fire! Fire!" Mrs. Bletchley swung around the corner, faster than I thought she could possibly move, and before I could say a word she cast an _aguamenti_ spell at my pipe. The pipe that was in my mouth.

"What the fuck!" I stood up and started running my hand over my face to get the water off. "Sonovabitch!" When I looked at Mrs. Bletchley I expected her to be apologetic, but she wasn't.

"That is not a healthy habit, Professor Boyd. I insist that you do not smoke that horrid thing in my presence." With that Mrs. Bletchley turned around, walked out of my office and sat at her desk.

Edith tried to stop me but I was not in the mood. I walked over to her desk, water dripping from my hair, and I purposely leaned over her papers. "Let's get this straight right up front. I smoke a pipe. I also smoke cigars and cigarettes on occasion, and since right now that's my office I'm going to smoke if I damn well want to. If you don't like it do some charm or whatever, put a bubble on your head or turn the smoke into pixies, I don't care what you do. Do some magic shit or you can go complain to Robards or whoever it is you report to, but I'm not going to stop because I like smoking. Yes, it's not the best for my health but we're all going to die someday and goddamn it I'm going to enjoy it while I can. Got that?"

Mrs. Bletchley gave me a withering look, stood up and walked away without saying a word. It was while I was standing there at her desk, still wet and furious, that Ron Weasley walked up.

"Hello, Hank. Saw Mrs. Bletchley on my way in, obviously that's working out well."

"Shut up, Weasley."

After being dried off by Edith and lighting my pipe for the second time, Ron, Edith and I finally got down to business. Ron crammed his legs into my small office and somehow managed to shut the door.

"Ok, Hank, here's the latest." Ron slunk down in his chair and stretched out his legs. "You heard about the two Muggle Studies professors that were rescued. Since they're from Canada and New York their Aurors are taking care of the investigation, even though it was Rolf's lot that found them. You'd think the Canadians and the AAB would give us the full details, but they aren't sharing as much as Robards would like. Your sister-in-law's doing what she can, but right now we're kind of flying blind. The only thing that they've really shared with us is that they think they've found the responsible group, and it isn't the WLF."

"What? What do you mean it isn't the WLF?" I shook my head. "If not them, then who the hell is it?"

"A Muggle group." Edith looked over to Ron and he nodded. "They're a group of Muggles trying to prove that magic exists. Professor, have you ever heard of WHAM?"

I almost choked on my pipe. "What?"

Ron shook his head. "No, not what, WHAM. We've found some information on them and apparently they're not only trying to prove that magic is real, they're trying to get rid of it. I don't think we have them here in the UK."

It was all I could do not to laugh. "So you don't think you have WHAM, UK? Want me to wake you up? You know, before you go-go?" At that point I couldn't take it any longer and busted out laughing, causing Edith and Ron to give each other strange looks.

"It isn't funny, Hank." Ron shook his head. "What are you on about?"

I held up my hand. "Sorry, Ron, just pictured you in Day-Glo short-shorts. It's the name of a band from the Eighties, and they were from the UK. Trust me, it's funny. Ok, ok, so what about WHAM? Any careless memories?"

"Just shut up and listen, Hank. Rolf's lot has found out that the WHAM bunch is getting close to finding out some things about the wizarding world, that somebody seems to be leaving them clues. Of course the AAB and the UMS has taken care of most of them, obliviated them and such, but someone is giving them information. When the last Muggle Studies professors were rescued the AAB went over their hiding places and they found not only your textbook but your other one, not the one you did with Mum."

"You mean _My Wand is Useless_. There's a lot of those floating about, Ian said they printed a ton of them." I shrugged. "But it doesn't make sense, Ron. They found the Ragnarok professor because of a WLF lead, right? At least they found her bracelet and traced it to the WLF. Now you're saying there's another group involved? How many is that? The WLF, the wizarding hippie group and now WHAM?" I chuckled and stopped quickly. "Sorry, I shouldn't laugh, but you have no idea…ok, right. So there's this group of Muggles trying to prove magic exists…so what? There's Muggle groups out there that say aliens exist, that the world will end in, well, take your pick of dates. Bigfoot, vampires, werewolves…wait. Oh. Bigfoot?"

Ron shrugged. "No idea. Hank, you're too well known amongst the WHAM lot with your book. We need someone else who can maybe infiltrate this group, pretend to be searching for magic. Someone who doesn't know any magic if their life depended on it. Can you think of anyone?

I sat back in my chair and puffed on my pipe for a while. _Someone who was a Muggle, didn't use magic, could pretend…holy shit. Cho was going to kill me._ "Um, yeah, I do know someone. He's an American, too, well, used to be anyway. Dual-citizen now. Mike Greene."

Edith looked at me strangely while Ron raised an eyebrow. "Not a bad idea. I'll run it past Robards, see what he thinks. Ok, now that's out of the way, bring me up to speed on your progress on the tapes."

_Shit_. "Um, I don't really have any progress."

"Bloody hell." Ron turned away from me for a moment. When he looked at me again I could tell he wasn't happy. "Hank, do you know why you have this office? So you can help the Aurors. What in Merlin's name have you been doing?"

_What have I been doing?_ "Teaching, Ron, you know, my job? I also had to go to class with Melody because she's pregnant. I don't have a cassette player but your dad's going to look for one. I can't just go and pretend to be an Auror all the time, if I leave someone has to substitute for me. That class isn't just going to teach itself. You're just lucky I'm on holiday right now or otherwise I'd be in my classroom."

Ron picked up a piece of blank parchment from off of my desk, crumpled it up and threw it at me. "Fine. I'll tell Robards that you had to grade parchment about…how to drive a car or something. You need to hurry up and figure that out because Malfoy's off in the UMS right now looking for Miss, um, Miss…"

"Gradenko." Edith faked a smile. "Miss Gradenko."

"Yeah, that's it. Hank, Malfoy's over there looking for her now along with the AAB. The sooner you figure out what the bloody hell those tapes mean the better it'll be for everyone. Capiche?"

I looked at Ron as if he'd grown another head, and he was smiling broadly. "I knew showing you all those old mafia movies would warp your brain."

* * *

When I arrived back at Colony House Melody was reading the pregnancy book from St. Mungo's with Spit and Virgil on the other end of the sofa. Churchill sat on her belly and gave me a look that I interpreted as "move me and I'll kill you in your sleep." I sat down on the chair next to the sofa.

"I'm sorry, Mel. I made them promise not to interrupt me again while we're at the class."

She kept on reading for a while and then looked up at me. "Oh, so you finally decided to come home. How nice of you, Hank."

_Fuck_. "I'm sorry, Mel, I am. Ron even told Robards not to do anything when we're at St. Mungo's and he agreed. What did I miss?"

Melody closed the book and winked at me. "I know, Hank, I just like winding you up; it's so easy these days. You didn't miss much, really. After the shielding spell you're supposed to help me breathe in a different way, find a focus point, a lot of things that you already know from when your niece and nephew were born. Oh, you have some letters."

I got up and went to the little stand in the kitchen and filed through the usual stuff until I found two envelopes; one was very plain while the other prominently displayed the triple-W logo of Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes. I opened the plain one first, and after reading it I looked over to Mel. "I'm sure you can guess who one of them is from, but this one is from Peter Sawgrass. Santa Claus has decided to help him, pro bono, and their first court appearance is in May."

"Santa Claus? Pro bono?" She looked confused. "What in Merlin's name are you talking about?"

"Pro Bono is a legal term; it means that Santa, er, the attorney I met at the genealogical workshop, is taking the case and isn't charging Peter. He's doing it for free."

"Oh. That's nice. What'd George want?"

"Dunno, let me look." I opened up George's letter and after reading it a second time I shook my head. "I have a meeting with George the last Friday before Easter Holiday has ended, but I don't think he did it right. There's a typo. Look." I handed her the letter and pointed to the error.

Melody laughed. "No Hank, I'm pretty sure that was done intentionally."

She handed the letter back to me and I took another look.

_Your attendance is required for the Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes Bored Meeting. Please arrive at the Diagon Alley shop prior to closing; location will be determined at that time. Please arrive on the 28__th__ no later than half five. Informal attire required._


	18. Bored Meeting

Chapter 18: Bored Meeting

The rest of Easter holiday went by way too fast. Just as I was getting used to the relaxing quiet of Colony House, spending lazy evenings with Melody and Lavinia watching old Muggle movies, especially the old black and white horror movies, the calendar quickly moved ahead. On the last Friday of the holiday while Lavinia was having a lie in I was reading the morning paper and heard someone pull up to the house in a car, something that never happened. I moved the paper and looked at Mel.

"Are you expecting someone?"

She gave me one of her 'you're being thick' looks. "Hank, who do I know that would arrive by car?"

"Good point." I put down the newspaper and walked towards the front door, and outside the window I could see the red and white shape of my VW van. "Um, Mel, looks like we've got another for breakfast." I opened the door and waved Arthur inside.

"Good morning, Boyds. Sorry not to let you know I was coming over but it couldn't wait. Hank, I have the player!"

I rubbed my goatee. Should have known Arthur would pull though. "Wow, nicely done, Arthur. Breakfast?"

"Certainly, Hank. Sorry to intrude on your morning, Melody. Stepped out this morning before Molly woke up. Thought it best, you know."

I laughed. It would definitely be for the best if Molly didn't realize he'd driven all the way from The Burrow to Colony House. "What time did you get up this morning?"

Arthur pulled a chair out and sat down. "Unfortunately it was quite early. Oh, and Hank, your transmissioned is different than mine, not to mention the steering wheel on the other side. I'm afraid there was a bit of difficulty at one point but I got it sorted."

I sat down and pretended to stir my half-cold tea. I figured I could probably count on putting in a new transmission soon in the van. "No worries, Arthur. Now tell me, where did you find the cassette player?"

Arthur's eyes grew wide. "Oh, the most wonderful Muggle shop you've ever seen, some sort of prawn shop, I believe they called it. It had almost everything in there. The man at the shop wasn't sure what I wanted but when I showed him the tape he rooted around in the back, and told me I was looking for an antique. He had two of them, but I believe I bought the best one. The other things in that shop, though, magnificent. I purchased some other items but they're in the shed at home. Don't tell Molly, but I now have three magnificent examples of computters. One of them was named after a fruit, if you can believe it. Takes flopping plates, I believe."

"Floppy discs? Sounds like you made some finds. Tell you what, Arthur, let's have breakfast and see if we can't get the tape player working."

After a nice but hurried breakfast I joined Arthur out at my VW where he presented me with an ancient car radio with a cassette player that was probably state-of-the-art in approximately 1988. I went to my shed, pulled out my toolbox and sat to trying to hook it up in the van, failing miserably at first. One of the speakers wouldn't work because I had wired it all wrong, somehow I managed to get the windshield wipers to start by turning on the radio, but eventually after a lot of swearing and some skinned knuckles I had a working cassette player in the van.

I turned the key, grabbed a cassette and inserted it into the player and pressed Play. Almost immediately the sound came out garbled until I rooted around and found a piece of paper and jammed it between the cassette and the tape housing, stabilizing the tape and evening out the sound. The unmistakable sound of "Mustang Sally" burst forth from the tinny, crappy speakers. Arthur let out a small whoop and clapped me on the back.

"We've done it, Hank." Suddenly his face fell. "Is there a chance you'll need anything else from that shop?"

I chuckled. "Well, Arthur, this is a good player for the car, but when I was a kid we used to have these very large cassette players that had built-in speakers, called them boom boxes. It would be helpful to have one of those, as I could play the tapes for anyone who isn't riding in my van. They also take a lot of batteries. Sound good?"

"Very good, Hank. Very good. I'll start my search right away. Have to stop by Gringott's and talk to Bill, I'm out of Muggle money."

I squinted at him. "How much did you pay for this one?"

"Twenty pounds. Was that a good deal?"

I shook my head. "You might want to try a different shop. I think he took advantage of you. Try not to look so excited when you see stuff."

* * *

After Arthur returned to The Burrow via Floo I spent the rest of the morning out in the van, listening to music. Whoever made the mix tapes had good taste in music, as I owned most if not all of the albums the songs were taken from. The songs did have a definite theme, as most of the song titles had a person's name in the title or referenced a person in the lyrics. I wrote down all the names in a notebook and sent off a letter to Ron informing him that I'd obtained a tape player, with his father's help, and I sent the list of the songs. I told him I would try to figure out exactly what it all meant.

When I went back in the house I saw Lavinia sitting in one of the big chairs with Flick in her lap and she didn't look happy. She looked horrible, actually. I sat in the chair opposite of her and didn't say anything for a while. Eventually she looked up at me.

"Professor, why are boys so thick?"

"Oh shit. I did not expect that. I'm sorry, Lavinia; do you want to tell me what happened?"

She shrugged. "Not really. Sorry."

"It's ok. I'm here if you want to talk, and so's Mel. Just know that it's never easy."

She laughed. "I know. I've heard you and Melody. Thanks, Hank."

I left her in the big chair and went into my office where Melody had parchment scattered all over the place. "Mel, what in the hell are you doing in here? It looks like my office blew up."

Melody took one look at me and threw the parchment in her hands up in the air, letting it settle all over the place. "I'm trying to put the next edition together and it's just driving me batty. Merlin, Hank. I don't know if I can do it anymore. And when the bump gets here, how will I do that?"

_Good grief, were all the women in my house having issues?_ I took a deep breath and sat on the corner of the desk. "Mel, didn't you say Margaret would step in for you while you're out with the bump? Your due date is…" I looked over at the calendar quickly "…ummm, in about two months. Why don't you take some time now?"

"And do what? Sit around and eat all day? Wait, I do that already. Hank do you have any idea how much I weigh now? Don't answer that."

"You look amazing, Mel. Seriously. You look beautiful."

She rolled her eyes. "Well I'm glad we've established that you think I'm beautiful when I'm as big as a hippogriff. Wonderful. Bloody wonderful. And you're going back to Hogwarts on Sunday, so I won't even have you at home to help out until it's time to go to St. Mungo's…"

"I'll be here after that, though."

She closed her eyes, exhaled sharply and then looked at me. "Yes, I know that, Henry, but it's not so easy when you're gone. Yes, I know Titus said you'll be able to attend all my last appointments but Mum keeps wanting to come over and I tried that a few times but she can irritate me like no other person on earth, even when she's being good, and I have to have the house ready by the time your family comes over from America, and then there's all this nonsense with the missing professors and you're playing Auror, even though you don't have enough magic to start the kettle not to mention protect yourself, oh, and on that topic I'm assuming you still have those bloody handguns even though you know I hate them…"

I held up my hands. "Ok, ok, take a breath. Merlin. Listen, I'm going to see George tonight. Would you mind if I said something to Angelina? Have her come over and hang out, just be here for tea and stuff?"

Melody started to say something, opened her mouth and then stopped. She cocked an eyebrow at me for a moment and then nodded. "I suppose that would work. Godric knows Angelina has to put up with George, not to mention Molly. Don't get me wrong, Hank, I love Molly as much as the next person, but you have to admit she can be a bit much when it comes to her children, especially her grandchildren."

I flashed back to Grimmauld Place before James was born and nodded. "Yes, she can be, but you also know why. Can I get you anything? I can't do much else except fix you something to eat or drink."

"Chocolate biscuits, fried potatoes and a foot rub, please."

* * *

I arrived at Diagon Alley in the usual manner, Flooed over to the Leaky Cauldron, walked downstairs and spoke to Hannah and then made my way over to George's shop. The crowds were actually still sizeable, regardless of the hour, and I chalked that up to the fact that all the students were still on holiday as I saw several of them and waved hello on my walk over to the shop.

As soon as I entered the original triple-W shop I was overwhelmed with sights and sounds as usual; things went zipping by, people, mostly students, were everywhere and I had to make my way slowly over to the counter. Luckily the witch working the counter must have been prepared for my arrival, as she noticed me right away. Instead of saying "right this way, sir" or something like that, though, she simply blew another bubble and pointed over her shoulder. I chalked her lack of enthusiasm up to the fact that it was at the end of the day on a Hogwarts holiday.

When I made it back to George's office I was somewhat surprised, as the office was quite full of people. I expected George to be there, obviously, but seeing Ron and Harry, as well as Percy and Bill caught me off guard. George looked at me as seriously as I'd ever seen him look, took a glance at the clock on the wall and shook his head.

"My first ever Bored Meeting and you're the last one here. I'm not surprised."

I took off my glasses and cleaned them with the bottom of my shirt. "Like you're the most punctual person on the planet." I took a look around the room and nodded at everyone. "So y'all got off work for this?"

Percy straightened his glasses. "I had to see this to believe it. George having a meeting like a proper businessman."

George shook his head. "Quiet, you. Don't make me try out some of our newer items. Actually, that's not a bad idea."

"So where are we having this meeting, George? Fleur is expecting me home for supper tonight." Bill twisted his torso, cracking his back several times. "Or do I need to send her an owl?"

"Just send her an owl, Bill." Harry looked at his watch. "I have a feeling this won't be a typical meeting."

"Quite right." George nodded and then looked towards the shop. "FELICITY!"

A few moments later the bored, bubblegum blowing witch stood in the doorway. "You shouted, boss?"

"Yes, please send owls to the Bored Members' wives that they will not be home for their evening meal. I expect the meeting to run rather long."

After blowing another bubble the witch looked directly at George. "Since when am I your secretary?" Percy and Bill chuckled at that, but George fixed Felicity with a stern look, and Felicity rolled her eyes. "Fine. I'll tell them you're all out drinking and will be back Thursday."

"Perfect, thanks!" George turned back to us. "Ok, gentlemen, you too Ronniekins, let's be off."

We followed George through the shop and out to the back alley where a white toilet sat in the middle of the alley, lid up. After being arranged around the toilet all of us looked to George.

Bill shook his head. "Really, George? Is this a portkey? This is what you used?"

"I think you'll like the theme." George wagged his eyebrows.

"This meeting has gone to shit already." I looked at Percy and caught him sniggering. "Hey, I think it's appropriate."

Suddenly the toilet began to glow a faint blue color. We all reached out and touched the toilet and then everything went black for a moment.

Arriving at our destination everyone turned around a few times trying to figure out exactly where we were. Finally it was Percy who broke the silence.

"George, isn't this outside of London proper? Is this…"

"Yes, Perce, it's that park. Now, are we all ready to attend the very first and dreadfully important meeting?"

Ron shrugged. "Sure, George. What are we going to do, all sit on the bench over there?" He pointed to a small bench next to a tree. "Don't think it will fit everyone."

"No, follow me." George motioned for us all to follow him through the park. After about ten minutes he stopped in front of a blue portable toilet, put his hand on the door and smiled. He walked in and the door slammed after him.

I looked over to Ron. "He's not kidding, is he?"

Bill walked forward and grabbed the door handle. "Of course he's kidding, Hank. It's George."

After everyone had entered the little building it was obvious that it was another example of the wizarding "bigger on the inside" thing, as it was a small room with a table and chairs. George sat down at the head of the table, which had an empty seat next to him marked "Fred," and pointed to the table.

"Right. Nameplates for everyone. Find yours, sit down and we'll get started."

I looked at the table and laughed. Instead of Bill or Percy the nameplates read Tosser, Prat, Useless, Wanker and Little Git. I walked over to the Useless nameplate and sat down. "Well it's obvious this is my seat."

Ron looked over at Bill. Almost simultaneously the two of them pointed to the Prat nameplate and said "Percy."

Harry looked at George. "Am I the Wanker, Tosser or Little Git?"

"Oh, you're the Wanker." George smiled. "Any other ideas?"

"Funny, George." Ron sat down in the Little Git spot and looked over to Bill. "Guess you're Tosser."

"This is so much better than Gringott's meetings." Bill sat down. "Goblins have no sense of humor whatsoever."

After we were all seated George waved his wand; a long piece of parchment hung in the air alongside a Quick Quotes Quill. "Since this is the very first Bored Meeting, I should explain why I'm holding this meeting, outside of the fact that most of you are glad of an excuse to be away from your pregnant wives. Please use your nameplates to refer to each other, as the meeting notes will be made public due to some requirement that Prat brought to my attention last year. Now, if you're ready, we'll begin." He waved his wand and the quill touched the parchment slightly. "Prat, will you give the financial report?"

Percy stood up and took out a series of parchment from his robe. "During the last fiscal quarter the…"

"Thank you, Prat. I believe that's enough of that." George winked at me; when I looked over at Percy he looked as if he'd just been slapped. "Right, on to the fun stuff. As you know this wonderful company currently consists of three locations: Diagon Alley, Hogsmeade and Paris. Due to Useless' book about the company and some amazing business acumen on my part, I am currently in negotiations for three additional shops. Lisbon, New York City and Turin are the new markets, and we will be expanding there in the next three months, starting with Turin. The Brisbane meeting didn't go as well as I'd planned, unfortunately."

"Wasn't that the meeting I had to send you bail money?" Bill sat back in his chair. "Something about…"

"Yes, yes, enough of that, Tosser. Expansion requires organization, planning and above all a very impressive headquarters. We are currently sitting in the location of the International Headquarters of Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes."

"Your headquarters is the inside of a toilet?" Ron gave him a smarmy look. "Seems appropriate."

"Quiet, Little Git. Groundbreaking will be soon, and of course we will need to do the rounds, interviews, parties, the whole bit. As Wanker and Useless are not Weasleys, well, Wanker sort of is, they will be excused from the publicity tours. The rest of you…"

"Sorry, George. I can't." Ron held up his hand. "I can't tell my boss I have to leave and go to Lisbon for a week because you want to sell Puking Pastilles."

"Exactly!" George smacked the table with his hand. "I'm sure you're lovely wives would like a nice little vacation. You lot" he waved at me, Ron, Percy and Harry "will have to wait until your wives have spawned."

"Spawned?" Percy shook his head. "If your wife knew…"

"That's the point, Prat." George smiled broadly. "Vacations partially sponsored by Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes! Visit exotic cities, butter up politicians and wrangle red tape! Use your notoriety to smooth the way." He paused for a moment. "Now that I think about it, Useless, you can do the New York visit. See your family, all that. You're still out, Wanker."

"So let me get this straight." Ron leaned forward. "You're opening three new shops in three different countries, building an International Headquarters here and we've got to go on vacation…"

"Partially sponsored vacations up to a pre-approved limit. Advertising and other business expenses."

"Right, George, advertising. So we'll go on vacation with our wives and do our bit. What are you going to do?"

"What I do best, Little Git. Be the brains!" George clapped his hand. "Now I think we've covered everything. Not bad for the first Bored Meeting."

I saw Percy and Bill look at each other, and then Percy turned to George. "George, I know why Har…"

"Tut tut, no names!" George shook his finger at his brother.

Percy closed his eyes and exhaled loudly. "Yes. Fine. I know why Wanker is here, but why is Useless involved?"

"Oh yes, about that." George smiled at me and winked. "I'm afraid I've given him a 1.3% stake in the company. The WUMP, you know. Big seller."

Bill raised an eyebrow at me. "No wonder your vault is doing so well. I knew it couldn't be from your books, they're crap. Best cure for insomnia outside of a potion."

George waved his wand, causing the Quick Quotes Quill to cease its movements. "Right. Now that the Bored Meeting is complete, let's move on to the celebration part of the schedule.

* * *

Five hours later I arrived outside of Colony House holding on to Percy Weasley's arm for all I was worth. After three steps towards the front door Percy stopped.

"You can let go now, Hank. We're here."

"Ummm, yeah. Ok." I let go of his arm and wobbled slightly.

"Then again…" He grabbed my arm. "Let's get you inside. This should be good."

"Shutup, Percy. Like you've never losta drinkincontest."

"I have, but I am smart enough not to get into one with Bill." He stopped by the door and knocked on it rapidly. After a few moments Melody answered the door in her fuzzy robe and slippers.

"Oh bloody hell."

"Good evening, Melody. I believe this belongs to you?" Percy shifted his weight and I bumped against him. "Should I bring him inside?"

She shrugged. "Shed's fine."

"Ohcomeon, Mel. I was defendin yerhonor!" I stepped away from Percy and leaned on the door. "Ohshit's Laviniahere?"

She put her hand over her face and shook her head. After a second or two she removed her hand, took me by the collar and drug me inside. "No, you git, she's at Ruby's. You're lucky. Percy, would you mind helping me?"

I felt both of them take a hold of my arms and before I knew it I was spread-eagled on the bed. Percy and Melody left the bedroom, and suddenly the ceiling became the most interesting thing in the world.

The next morning I woke up with my head pounding, my mouth tasted like I'd licked an ashtray and I was still wearing my clothes. My shoes were off, though, and I had no idea where my glasses were. The sun was entirely too bright when I sat up slowly and looked around for my glasses, and not seeing them I decided to brave it and go ask Mel.

When I walked into the kitchen she was sitting at the table, drinking the "horrid tea" and reading the paper. I sat down next to her and before I could say a word she began fanning the paper at me.

"What's that for?"

"You smell horrible, Hank. I slept in the guest room. You have to clean up soon. Honestly."

"Sorry. I didn't plan on…"

She held up her hand. "Don't bother. I've already spoken to Angelina this morning via Floo, and Fleur owled me earlier. Apparently the story you told me when Percy poured you into the house was true, you were trying to defend my honor. Bill gave you a bit of a hard time, did he?"

I closed my eyes tightly. "Is there tea?"

"After you tell me. Actually, I take that back. Go take a shower and when you're human again you can tell me the story."

I stumbled into the shower, still slightly unsteady, and for a long time I didn't do anything except let the warm water wash over me. Finally after gathering the energy I cleaned myself up, dried off and put on some clean clothes. Melody was right; my clothing from the night before smelled horrible. When I made it back out to the kitchen table a cup of tea was sitting at my chair.

I sat down, took several sips of tea and sighed. "That's much better."

Melody moved the paper aside, looked at me and then reached into the pocket of her fuzzy robe and pulled out my glasses. "Kept them last night. Safekeeping."

"Thanks." I put on my glasses and then took another few sips of tea. "Ok, you asked about the thing with Bill, right? Well, the Bored Meeting didn't take too long, but after that George took everyone out to some wizarding bar that I've never heard of. I don't even know if it's in London or not. Anyway, we were having a few pints when Bill starts to give me shit about my books, especially _My Wand is Useless_. He said earlier that it's a good sleep aid, but this time he went into detail. Called it a great piece of fiction, especially the parts where I sort of mention you. Kept telling me that I must have imperiused you to go out with me, and that if my wand is really useless than the bump is probably some hot Quidditch player's kid. I knew he was joking, of course, but I couldn't just let that slide, so I challenged him to something that didn't involve wands. He suggested the drinking contest, and I couldn't back down then, so they brought out the firewhiskey. I don't really remember much after that except for some drunken witch tried to sit on Harry's lap and it was a big scene because obviously he didn't want that. Oh, and all the Weasleys made Ron kiss a Puddlemere pennant somehow. Then I ended up here with Percy. Sorry, love."

Melody shook her head. "Henry, you're over a decade older than me and sometimes you act like you're a teenager. If it wasn't for Angelina and Fleur I'd…" She sighed. "I appreciate your defense of my honor, but…so what was that meeting about, anyway? Before you all decided to go get pissed?"

"Oh, yeah. Um, since we're part-owners of George's shops and work on other parts of the company we had to have a meeting. I think Percy does the legal stuff and Bill does the finance side. Ron used to work for him, but I'm not sure exactly why Harry was there. Anyway, he's expanding to different cities and building an international headquarters building outside London. I think we might be going to New York for him. After the bump's born, of course. And it'd be partially paid for by George."

Melody pursed her lips tightly. "I still think Angelica will brain him soon. Or worse, she'll tell Molly what happened."

I shivered. "Scary."

* * *

I spent the rest of the holiday weekend recovering and trying to make things up to Melody. Lavinia stayed with Ruby again on Saturday night, so for the rest of that day we lounged around, feeling the bump move about and watching old movies. I had finally convinced her to owl Margaret about the _Witch Weekly_ things, and Margaret had agreed to help out a bit earlier than planned which allowed Mel to finally relax a bit. Sunday was the usual anxious resting, as was supposed to be home soon and the two of us would be busy trying to get everything ready to head back to Hogwarts.

After I'd finished packing I sat in my office, going over the dates that Melody had written out for me regarding the St. Mungo's baby checkups. I heard the Floo and after looking at my watch I realized that it was later than usual, but didn't say anything as Lavinia came into the office, Melody trailing behind. I looked up at Lavinia, but she did nothing but smile. When I glanced over at Mel she shrugged and shook her head; it was obvious that I wasn't the only one who didn't know what was going on.

"Ok, what's up, Lavinia? You're smiling, so something must have gone right."

She nodded and seemed as if she was going to burst. "Well, I was going to stay over with Ruby on Saturday night but Aunt Tinney sent me a letter that morning. She came into London unexpectedly and wanted me to join her. I wanted to take Ruby with me but Aunt Tinney said it was just for me. When she picked me up at Ruby's house she was all dressed up, I think it was even a new dress an' her hair was all fixed up. We Apparated to this neighborhood in a scary Muggle part of London but then we went to this wizarding restaurant, and when we got there Charlie Weasley was waiting for us. He was all dressed up too, a dragon hide suit an' everything."

I looked over to Mel quickly and I think we both realized what was coming next, but we kept silent.

"So after we sat down Charlie had the waiter bring over a bottle of chameleon champagne, and Aunt Tinney even let me have a glass. That's when Aunt Tinney told me that they wanted me to be the first person they told. They're engaged!"

"Oh Vinny, that's wonderful!" Melody hugged Lavinia, and I smiled at the two of them.

After they finished hugging I looked over to Lavinia. "You seem pretty happy about it."

She nodded. "After we all had a toast Aunt Tinney put on her ring and showed it to me. It's huge! Charlie told me that nothing would change, that I'd still be as important to Tinney as ever, an' that they'll be over in London soon. I'm going to go to Australia with them over the summer!"

"I thought Charlie was in Romania?" I adjusted my glasses. "How's that going to work?"

Lavinia seemed to bounce on her feet. "Oh, they worked all that out. Charlie's going over there for the summer to study the bunyips and then Aunt Tinney's going over to Romania after that to study dragons. They're doing some project together. I think they're going to get married in Australia, they don't know when yet, but when they do I'm the maid of honor!"

When Lavinia and I arrived back at Hogwarts she seemed to be floating on air. I watched her run over to Ruby and the two of them began squealing and shrieking, and I flashed back to the day that Melody and I had agreed to be her guardians after her parents' deaths. After that horrible time Lavinia seemed to be a regular, normal kid. Somewhere in the back of my mind I also remembered the prophecy that Sybill Trelawney had made, and I made a note to check that when I went back to my desk. I easily remembered the "child dear to you will experience great loss, but you will be there in the time of need" part, as I figured it applied to Lavinia.

As I made my way back to my room I found myself wondering what Molly Weasley would make of it, but I knew she would be happy. If anything I knew I'd have to give Charlie a hard time, as the age difference between him and Tinney was pretty much the exact same as between Melody and myself. By now I was used to the "Is that your niece" or "is that your younger sister?" type questions from people who didn't know that Mel and I are married, but I was sure Charlie could use a hand. Actually, thinking on it further, I was sure he didn't need any help whatsoever.

When I got to my door there were two students waiting for me, and it only took me a second to figure out who they were: Peter Sawgrass and Franny Ellsworth. After exchanging pleasantries I invited the two of them in, and after I sat down my bag I motioned towards the chairs in front of my desk. I sat on the front of it and looked at the two of them.

"I take it you have some news?"

Franny scrunched up her nose and looked at Peter, and he took a very deep breath. "I met with Mr. Boyd, the attorney, and he thinks we have a case. It looks like we'll go to court in May, but that's not why we're here."

"Really? Ok, what's up you two?"

"Professor Muggle, you know that assignment you gave us that's due tomorrow? The one on the Muggle music? Is there any way we could have another week?" Franny looked over to Peter quickly and then back to me. "Just one more week?"

I pushed my glasses on to the top of my head. "Ok, I know y'all have more going on that just regular Hogwarts stuff, but assignments are assignments. You'll need to learn how to balance your relationship along with work, and this is as good an opportunity as any to start on that. Actually, it's better because you don't have to worry about making rent or buying food or any of the other stuff. Nice try, you two. All right, I need to unpack, go on, go work on your assignments."

After they left I shook my head, they should have known better than to try and get an extension on their assignment. I went back and sat at my desk, and after rooting through several drawers I finally found the slip of paper I was looking for. It was jammed inside a small notebook, and I sat it on my desk and smoothed it out. When it was finally flat I read it once again, the prophecy that Sybill Trelawney had given me long ago:

"_Henry Aaron MacDonald Boyd. Great changes are in your future. A child dear to you will experience great loss, but you will be there in the time of need. You will come to love each House at Hogwarts during your many days in its halls. Your oldest child will bind you close to those that care about you."_

After looking at it again I sighed happily. It looked like all of Sybill's prophecy was going to come true, as I'd been there for Lavinia, I had been at Hogwarts for a few years and truly liked students in all of the houses, and the bump's godparents were going to be the Longbottoms. As for the great changes, yeah, that was an understatement. Arthur Weasley had said that sometimes Sybill's prophecies take a while to come true, but it looked to me as if the one in front of me already had.

* * *

The middle-aged wizard ran his hands through his long, unkempt hair. As he looked around the dingy basement of the house they'd "acquired" he caught the eye of another wizard; both of them shared a look, and in a few moments the other wizard walked over and sat down.

"How long yer think we'll be here? She usually doesn't stay in one place that long."

"Don't know, Dr. Robert. Miss Gradenko hasn't said anything."

The long-haired wizard shook his head. "Cut it out, Gus, we've known each other since we was kids. Enough of the code names."

"Damn it, Nick, if she hears you it won't go well."

"Fine. Well, Wendell Gee, how long do yer think we're staying? 'S makin' me nervous."

"Dunno. It's a dangerous game she's playing, it is. Heard from Telegram Sam that the article was in that wizarding newspaper. No mention of that bracelet we sold, though."

Dr. Robert's eyes went to the door as Miss Gradenko walked in and hurriedly went through their room and up a flight of stairs. After she had been out of their sight for several minutes he looked over to Wendell Gee. "What do you know about her?"

Wendell Gee shrugged. "Not much more'n you, I 'spect. Looks like she'd be in them movies I heard about, the wizarding ones, or even the reg'lar ones. Damn, she's nice to look at if you don't know her. Long legs, and even if she is fifty if she's a day I wouldn't kick her out a bed for summin' stupid."

"That may be, but I want to suss out when she's givin' us the magic. We oughta have wands by now."

"I'm with ya, mate. Telegram Sam said he's gunna take it up with her, but we could beat 'im to it. We've been good, we done what she said; we nicked that car for her no problem. We deserve magic."

"Oh, you deserve magic, do you?" Miss Gradenko walked down the steps and into the basement, her dark-hair swept back against her shoulders. "You're ready?"

Dr. Robert stood up quickly. "Yes, ma'am. We've been good soldiers for ya. When we signed on you said that you'd teach us magic, jus' like you were gonna get your wand you're gonna give us wands."

Miss Gradenko stood in the doorway, leaned on the doorjamb and looked at the two men in front of her. "So you two only want what you deserve, is that it?"

The two men looked at each other and shook their heads in agreement. Dr. Robert fixed Miss Gradenko in the eye. "Yeah, we want what we deserve."

Miss Gradenko smiled at the two men. "So be it. Looks like you two will get your reward ahead of schedule. I want the two of you to kneel down on the floor, put your hands high in the air and above all keep your eyes closed. Won't work if you open your eyes."

The two men did as she asked. Once they were in the "correct" position Miss Gradenko walked up behind them. The two shots from the silenced pistol only made a muffled sound.

"Yes, you got what you deserved, boys." Miss Gradenko removed the silencer from the pistol, stored both items in her purse and walked out of the basement.


	19. Thank You, Minerva

**Chapter 19: Thank You, Minerva**

"Ok, let's get this started. I'm very interested in your papers today." I stood in front of the seventh year class as they entered my classroom. "Despite the best lobbying efforts of some of your classmates, your assignment is due today. You've had plenty of time to finish it, so you know I expect excellent work."

Peter looked over to Franny and shook his head.

"Something wrong, Mr. Sawgrass?"

"No Professor. I just can't believe what she picked…and that she likes it."

I sat on the front of my desk, interested. "This ought to be good. Very well, let's start with you first, Franny."

Franny walked up to the front of the classroom, handed me her paper, and stood in front of the class. "For my Muggle music I picked 'Screaming for Vengeance' by Judas Priest."

"What!" I almost dropped my tea. "Franny, you picked Judas Priest? What made you pick that album?"

She shrugged. "I liked the cover."

As Franny began her report on the album I couldn't help but think back to when I'd bought that album, how I listened to it when I was a teenager in my Volkswagen Beetle, mad at the world. And my hair…good grief, that was ages ago. Now I'm going bald, married to a very pretty and sweet woman much younger than I am who's carrying our first child, teaching at a Wizarding school, not to mention all of the things that had happened from when I first stepped foot in Hogwarts…it was crazy. I kept thinking about how much had changed in my life when I felt a hand on my arm.

"Professor? Professor, I've finished." Franny looked over at me. "Did you hear my report at all?"

I nodded. "Yes, yes, I did Franny. Well done. Take your seat." _ Shit. At least I was lucky it was Franny, I didn't have to worry about her. She had top marks in the class_. "Um, Ruby, why don't you go next?"

Ruby confidently walked up to the front, handed me her paper and turned to the class. "My Muggle album is called 'Urban Beaches' by a group named Cactus World News."

_Oh, now I smell a rat. Actually, it wasn't a rat, it was Lavinia. That was a semi-obscure album that she knew was one of my favorites._ "Ruby, can you tell me why you picked that album?"

She looked at me from the corners of her eyes. "Um, I thought it was a weird band name?"

"Nice try. Tell Lavinia it didn't work. Ok, go on."

The rest of the class went well. Carrick had picked out "Sticky Fingers" by the Rolling Stones, Peter had chosen The Chameleon's "Strange Times," and Poesy selected "1984' by Van Halen. As Poesy told me she thought the clock was slow and sat down I wondered if I'd done the right thing, as most of those albums had lyrics that weren't the most "parent friendly." I looked over at Liv, the last one, and figured she picked something nice like Nick Drake's "Pink Moon." Something gentle. I didn't even have to ask her to come up to the front as she was the last one to give her report. After she handed me her report she smiled.

"All right, Liv, out with it. What'd you pick?" _If she picked "Stink" by The Replacements I was going to lose it and promise myself never to do the assignment again._

"My selection was 'Beware of the Dog' by Hound Dog Taylor and the Houserockers."

"Holy shit, seriously?" I shook my head. "Really?"

Liv tilted her head towards me. "Should I continue or go get the swear book?"

I waved it off. "Later. Please continue. I'd love to know how you picked out that one."

"Well…" She bit the bottom of her lip. "I didn't know if he was really a dog. Dogs can be trained to do a lot of things. I thought maybe Muggles had recorded their dog."

That made me laugh. "Hound Dog Taylor was a bad ass blues guitar player, but I guess you figured it out pretty quickly?"

She nodded. "Oh yes. But I am confused. Why would someone want to steal his wig? And how do you dust a broom?"

I let out a whistle. "Ok, let's just skip that part. I could be here all day trying to teach y'all about the blues. Continue."

* * *

After class was dismissed I started reading the papers, starting with Liv's first. She did a decent job of trying to describe the blues, how it fit into the musical heritage of the Muggles and, most importantly, it made her boogie around her room listening to it on her WUMP. I had just finished writing my comments at the bottom of Liv's paper and giving her an "O" when I heard a knock on the door. Looking up I saw Neville, and it wasn't the usual Neville; this time he looked pale.

"Neville, come on in. What's wrong?"

He walked in and conjured a chair beside my desk and sat down quickly. "I'm sorry to interrupt you, Hank. Didn't know what else to do."

"Jesus, Nev, what's wrong." I took off my glasses quickly. "It's me, come on. What happened?"

He seemed intent on staring a hole through the floor. "It's…I…"

I wanted to say something, but I knew better. I sat quietly, knowing that he would tell me in his own time. After what seemed like an eternity he slowly raised his head.

"Gran and I agreed on an experimental treatment for my parents. Over Easter. We were there when it happened, and…we didn't make them better, Hank. We made them worse."

"Oh shit. Neville, I'm so sorry."

He nodded slowly. "Gran and I knew there would be risks. It just seemed so promising. That's not the worst part, though." He took a very deep breath. "For a few minutes it seemed as if everything was normal. Hank, Mum looked at me, really looked at me. She said my name as if she couldn't believe it and gave me a hug, a real hug. The she saw Dad and started crying. When I went to comfort her she was like before, there but not there. I thought that was bad but then it was the same with Dad, except he hugged me and Gran. When he saw Mum it was a repeat, I don't think their minds could take the strain. They've been in bed since then, staring at nothing."

"Oh my God, Neville. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Then suddenly it dawned on me and I couldn't believe it. "Nev, you said this happened over Easter. How long ago was this?"

"Sunday."

Neville had spoken almost inaudibly and it was as I thought. He hadn't told anyone; instead he came back to Hogwarts and continued on teaching about potting whatziwhoozit plants and spitting roses or whatever the hell it was. "Fuck. Does Titus know?"

Neville stared at the ground again and rubbed his hands slowly together. "No."

"You have to take a day off, shit, take the rest of the week. How the hell did you make it through classes?"

He shrugged, but didn't say anything.

"Fine. Neville, you can be mad at me for the rest of your life, but I'm going to tell Titus. You need some time off, you need to be with Hannah and your Gran. Hogwarts will still be here when you get back." I thought he was going to be angry at me, but instead he looked at me, closed his eyes, nodded, and continued to stare at the floor.

* * *

Once I got Neville back to his room I made a beeline to Titus's office and filled him in. He agreed with me completely and we both left his office at the same time; him to go speak to Neville and me towards my room. I wrote a hurried note to Melody and sent Calliope off instantly. I didn't know what she could do but at least she'd be there to help Neville and Hannah in some way.

Needless to say I was in a shocked state as I sat in my big green chair smoking my pipe. I gave a small, sarcastic laugh towards Edgar the raven statue on my bookshelf. When I'd arrived at Hogwarts years ago I had a rather one-sided conversation with Edgar, telling him that I hoped that witches and wizards were better than what I'd left behind, the wars, the cruelty, the senseless violence. It was my recollection of that conversation that had made me laugh, as it was obvious that it didn't matter if you could use a wand or not, mankind was the same.

I was still sort of out of it when I heard the knock on my door. "It's open."

Instead of a student it was Cho Chang and she did not look happy at all.

"I ought to hex you until next week, Hank Boyd!" She waved a wand at me. "Maybe longer!"

I turned quickly in my seat. "What the fuck did I do? What's your problem?"

She tilted her head. "What's my problem? My problem is that my husband, my husband who can't use a wand to light his smelly pipe like some people, has been drafted by the Aurors to pretend to be some magic…whatever the bloody hell they're called. The Muggle group that's involved in the missing professors and you're the one who gave them his name. That's what my problem is!" She waved her wand at me and stormed out of my room, slamming the door behind her.

Virgil hopped up onto my lap as I let out a deep sigh and petted him. "Damn, Virgil, this is a shitty day." I picked up a lighter and tried to light my pipe, but the moment the flame touched the pipe tobacco the entire pipe filled with water.

It was late when the owls arrived. I'd eaten supper in my room as I didn't want to chance running into Cho in the Great Hall. She probably wouldn't be down there, but I wasn't going to take the chance. I'd also forgotten that Muggle Club was meeting that night, but when Poesy showed up to remind me I waved her off, telling her that I wasn't coming and that she was in charge. Probably not the best move, as it was Poesy, but I didn't care. I'd managed to root around in the pockets of all my old jackets and finally find a couple of old, stale and crumpled cigarettes so I opened the window to the cool night air and lit one. It didn't taste the best but at that point I really didn't mind. It was while I was standing next to the window that the owls arrived.

Calliope was easy to recognize, as she was my owl, but I didn't know the second one. I removed both of the notes, sent the strange owl on its way and carried Calliope over to my desk where she hopped onto the back of the desk chair. Virgil took an interest in her immediately, but a couple of wing smacks sent him scurrying off under my bed. I sat the letter from Melody off to the side and opened the other envelope, the one with the Auror seal.

_Hank,_

_There are some developments at the Ministry that you need to be aware of, but it is best if you stay at Hogwarts. I will stop by tomorrow to brief you._

_Harry_

Just what I needed, more Auror shit. _Fuck_. I opened Mel's letter next, and it was as I expected. She'd gone over to see Hannah and Neville and had sat with them for most of the evening. From what Mel said there wasn't a lot of talking, instead she cooked dinner for the Longbottoms. She knew that they were just sort of there as the spaghetti was kind of crunchy but neither of them said a word. Mel had also owled Neville's Gran, and the two of them were having tea tomorrow. Neville didn't say how long he was going to be away, but knowing Neville he'd probably try and come back tomorrow but Hannah would talk him out of it.

* * *

I woke up the next day, the first of April, to the sound of owls against my window. I laughed as I threw off the covers; I had a feeling who one of the letters was from, a Mr. George Weasley. After sliding on my robe and putting on my glasses I opened the windows and got the letters off of the owls with only a couple of minor scratches. I recognized George's handwriting on the first envelope so I opened it first. As I expected, he was thrilled with the Playboy subscription I'd given him, as well as a copy of the most recent issue, and he went on at length wondering if a Wizarding Playboy club would work, with a few differences. He asked me to think of something else besides bunnies, didn't want to infringe on the copyright, but he was obviously happy. The second envelope held a letter that was much more succinct.

_Dear Hank,_

_You bastard._

_Angelina_

I was in a good mood as I went downstairs to breakfast, thinking of all the trouble I'd just ushered George into, when I immediately realized that my day was going to take a serious turn for the worse. Cho sat at the table and didn't say one word to me as I sat down. I tried talking to her but she just glared at me and turned away. _Fuck_. Without Neville next to me I ate a very quiet, introspective breakfast. I knew Harry was coming to visit to talk about the Ministry stuff but I didn't know when it would be.

After I made it to my first class I should have known how the day was going to turn out as I had to give a detention and take away 5 points from Slytherin in the first years' class, something about a difference of opinion concerning professional Quidditch teams. When it came to the fourth years' class I noticed that Willy and Lavinia were sitting on opposite sides of the room, not a good sign, and everyone in that class was either uncooperative or unprepared, something that surprised me. I ended up giving them an assignment and made them read for the rest of the period. All of the other classes continued the downward slide of my day, mirroring the fourth years' preparedness for my class.

I was hoping that at least my seventh year students, the students who were preparing for NEWT classes, would be a little better. All of the students were in their seats except for Poesy Phillips. I looked at my watch and started class, beginning the prep for the NEWT. Five minutes after class had begun Poesy walked in and took her seat as if nothing was wrong, a large smile on her face. That should have been my first clue.

"Miss Phillips, you realize you are late, correct?"

"I don't feel tardy, Professor Muggle."

I shook my head. "Shit. I knew that music assignment was going to come back to haunt me. Sit down, Liv, I'll pay up later."

Ruby squinted at me and gave me an odd face. "What do you mean, Professor?"

I took off my glasses and leaned against my desk. "It's a line from a song on the album that Poesy covered in the last class." _Please just leave it there, don't say anything…_

"Oh yeah." Poesy leaned over towards Ruby. "The song's called 'Hot for Teacher.' And did you see the album cover?"

"That's enough, Poesy. Very funny. I'm sure my wife will really enjoy this little story." I put my glasses back on and walked over towards the windows. "Now, it's not too early to start thinking about your NEWT examinations."

That's as far as I got as a knock on the door interrupted my class. Lavinia walked in and handed me a note.

"It's from Headmaster Titus. You're to go to his office; he said he'd be down here in a minute to take over your class."

"Thanks, Lavinia." I turned to the seventh years. "Ok, I suggest you take this time to get all your shenanigans out of the way before the Headmaster gets here. Sit down, Poesy. That wasn't a literal statement."

Harry was waiting for me when I got to Headmaster Titus' office; he was speaking to Albus Dumbledore's portrait when I walked in and didn't notice me, so I took a seat and waited. After a few moments he turned and saw me sitting there.

"Hank, you surprised me. How long have you been here?"

"Just a few minutes. Dumbledore have anything interesting to say?"

Harry shrugged. "Not really. I think it was more of what I had to tell him, and now you." He moved over and sat next to me in front of Titus' desk. "Hank, Terry Boot found two murdered Muggles in a basement. I don't know how exactly, but they've connected them to Miss Gradenko."

"Shit, Harry. This is getting nasty."

"Yes, but that's not the interesting part. We know Miss Gradenko uses magic, but these two Muggles were killed with a handgun at close range. Both were shot execution style, bullet to the head."

"But…that doesn't make any sense. Why use guns if you have a wand?"

"Exactly. Boot's report detailed some Muggle items that were collected from the bodies, and further examination has proved that the murdered men were the ones who dropped off the missing professor's bracelet at that jewelry shop."

"Why the hell would she kill the people working for her, Harry? I'm so freaking confused. And why did you need to come and tell me this, couldn't you just send a letter?"

Harry ran a hand through his hair. "Well, Robards didn't want to risk a letter. The reason I'm here is that we want you to be aware of what's happening, especially as things are becoming more dangerous. We've also picked up some information about increased activity from WHAM, the group that is trying to prove magic exists. Somehow or other they've got a copy of your first book."

"How the hell did a Muggle get a hold of _My Wand is Useless_? Shit, you're not confining me to Hogwarts again, are you?"

"No, Hank, we're not. But you are a target to another group now, this time Muggles. Luckily nobody seems to take them seriously. We're not sure how they got a copy of your book, but our inside source has confirmed that they do."

_Inside source…wait a sec._ "Harry, is your inside source Mike Greene? Is he safe? Cho ripped me a new one last night over it."

Harry nodded. "Yeah, it's him. We're wondering how long we're going to leave him in there." After a deep breath he looked me squarely in the eyes. "I'm telling you this because you're a friend and you're a friend of Mike's. Something big is going to happen, we don't know what and we don't know when, but Ron's piecing things together and that's what he says. Robards isn't too sure of it yet, but Ron says that the pieces are being moved into place. When that happens Mike might be in the worst possible position; he doesn't have magic and he doesn't have your guns. No time for that. I promise you we'll do everything we can to make sure he's out of there before anything happens, but I can't guarantee it."

"Sonovabitch. Harry, when it does happen, whatever the hell it is Ron thinks is going to happen, am I going to be a part of it?"

After looking at me for a few seconds and not saying anything, Harry slowly nodded his head. "Yeah, you are."

"Harry, Melody's due in less than three months…"

He held up his hand. "I know, Hank. And Ginny and Hermione not long after that. I'm sorry, but it can't be helped. We don't know when things will happen; it's out of our control. If we find out anything that gives us the details we'll move almost immediately, if I know Robards." He stood up abruptly. "I'm sorry, Hank. I'll keep in touch, or Ron or Edith will."

After Harry left the room I stood up and walked over to Minerva McGonagall's portrait. Luckily for me she was awake and petting her cat.

"Minerva, I take it you heard everything? Can you do me a favor and check on Melody?"

She smiled at me. "Certainly, Hank. Now, if I'm not mistaken there is still class time left. Those seventh years aren't ready for their NEWTS, are they?"

That made me laugh a little bit. "Yes, Headmistress. Right away, Headmistress."

When I walked into my classroom again Titus sat at my desk wearing WUMP headphones while the students were busy writing. A few of them looked up at me briefly while I made my way to my desk, but none of them said a word. When I got to Titus he quickly took off the headphones.

"Very interesting, Hank. This Muggle music is very interesting."

_Oh shit._ "Thanks, Headmaster. If I may ask…"

"The students informed me of your recent assignment. Miss Phillips was kind enough to lend me her player for a few moments while they worked on a special assignment I've given them. Don't worry, they'll hand this directly into me, you won't have to grade it."

"Ok, Headmaster. So…what exactly are they working on?"

He waved me off. "Nothing to worry about. I do have one question, though…who is this Ziggy Stardust?"

I pushed my glasses on to the top of my head, relieved that it wasn't one of the more controversial albums she'd given him to listen to. "I'll explain that another time. It was a very popular album."

* * *

I sat in my room late that evening trying to make sense of it all. There was simply too much going on at once and I wasn't dealing with it well. I'd eaten supper that night in the Great Hall with Hagrid, as neither Neville nor Cho were there, and to be honest I wasn't very much of a conversationalist. The one thing that did prick up my ears was when Hagrid talked of retirement. He didn't have much of an idea of what he would do away from Hogwarts, so after that I didn't really pay too much attention. I felt bad about that, as Hagrid had always been nothing but wonderful to me, but if he didn't know what he would do after Hogwarts I decided he'd be around for a while. I figured I'd make it up to him someway. As for the dead Muggles, Mike Greene, Neville and his parents, Lavinia and Willy, not to mention Mel and the bump…this was the one night that I wished I could go back to a simpler life for a few seconds.

That idea, of returning solely to the Muggle world, was popped like a bubble when I heard a knock on the door.

"It's open."

Lavinia walked in, envelope in her hand. "Hope I'm not bothering you, it's from Melody."

"I'm glad you're here, come on in."

She did her usual thing, sitting in my desk chair, but this time there wasn't the usual spin.

"Ok, Lavinia, what's wrong? I can tell something's bothering you."

After putting the letter on my desk she pulled her leg up and tucked it underneath her other leg. "Well…"

I sat there for a while, just waiting. After it seemed like she couldn't take the silence any longer she looked over at me. "Willy and I had an argument. His uncle told him that he needed to date more than one girl, that it wasn't good to date just one person all the time."

"Oh." I sat back in my green chair. "Hmmm…ok. Before I tell you what I think let me ask you a few questions. How old is Willy's uncle?"

She shrugged. "I dunno. Kinda old."

"As old as me?"

She shook her head. "Older. I think."

"Wow, that old. Mmm-hmm. Is he married? Or has he been married before?"

"I don't think he's ever been married."

I sat back in my chair. I knew this type of guy, the _expert_ on women who's never had a long-term relationship or has ever been married. The type that has impossibly high standards, the type that only wants to date models. In other words an idiot. "Doesn't sound like to me that he really knows what he's talking about. Lavinia, every relationship is different. Ask yourself this, are you happy with Willy? Does he treat you well? Does he listen to you, think of your feelings? Do you like doing things together? Do you miss him when he isn't there?"

"Yeah, all of that!" She shook her head. "And I know he thinks the same thing, he's told me that!"

"Give him time, he'll come around. If he doesn't, then he wasn't really thinking about you, he was thinking about himself." I shook my head. "Remember, Lavinia, boys are basically idiots. Hell, all men are. You've seen how many times I've screwed up with Melody. But what happens after that?"

She laughed. "You apologize, talk about what was wrong and usually end up cooking her one of her favorite things. If I smell cookies I usually know you've messed up."

"Thanks, I'll remember that. Nobody's perfect. Part of dating and being in a relationship is finding out how to be in a relationship or how to date. There's no test you have to pass to get your license. You learn as you go."

"Can I tell Willy all this?"

"Mmmm…well, I guess. It might not come off the best, as most guys don't like being told how to act."

"Melody does that to you all the time."

"Quiet, you." I scratched my head for a moment. "Just take it easy. Don't stress out over it. I'm sure you've talked to Ruby enough when she and Carrick have been on the outs. Now, you said Melody sent me a letter?"

"Oh, right." She got up out of my chair, picked up the envelope and handed it to me. "Thanks, Hank. I feel much better."

"No problem. Now get out of here and go do something fun. Not too much fun, though, I don't want to hear about a detention."

* * *

After Lavinia left Virgil crawled out from underneath the wardrobe, stretched and jumped up on my lap. After petting him, and realizing how big he'd grown lately, I opened my letter.

_Dearest Hank,_

_Sometimes being married to you isn't the easiest thing in the world. Today I've received letters from Angelina, Cho and, believe it or not Astoria Malfoy. Apparently you have a knack for making witches irritated, with the exception of Astoria. I think we need to do something nice for Angelina and Cho, but I'll leave that up to you._

_Ron stopped by, unofficially, and let me know what has happened. I can't believe they found those two Muggles like that! Hank, I'm scared for you and I'm scared for us. With the bump coming soon please please please don't do anything to put yourself in harm's way. _

_Mum came over earlier today and it was actually a nice visit, if you can believe that. I also got a letter from your Mum, and she's planning on being here on the last Monday in May. Mum said she'd come over with her house elf before your family arrives so that I wouldn't have to clean. _

_Oh, Astoria's letter. It was very nice; she asked how I was doing and invited me over for tea sometime next week. I can't believe I'm going to tea at Malfoy Manor. _

_I miss you, Hank. I know we talked about how things would be once we got married, how you'd be at Hogwarts and I'd be on my own, and I knew that, but it's been hard lately. Maybe you could talk to Titus about staying here at Colony House at night? If it helps Molly knitted me some socks that have a warming charm on them, as soon as I put them on they adjust to the perfect temperature. I even miss your snoring._

_Love,_

_Your Melody_

Hmmm…maybe Titus would let me stay at Colony House at night…but I'd have to get someone to take over as Hufflepuff Head of House while I was gone. Thankfully I didn't have much trouble with my Puffs, as they were all really good kids. Sure, there was the occasional thing, but for the most part I didn't really have to deal with much. I decided to ask Titus the next day as it was obvious that Melody needed me at home, even though I probably wouldn't do much except rub her feet and fix tea. Still, it was the least I could do; after all, she was carrying the bump.

I took a quick look at my calendar, which told me in a smarmy voice that there were sixty-six days left until Melody's due date, the ten year anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts was coming up and that the Muggle Studies Swearing Party was the 18th of May. I wrote down "Family at Colony House" on the 25th of May, as I knew Mom would be here as soon as she could.

That's when things really hit me. Yes, I knew that the bump was coming soon, but the fact that my family would be here really drove the point home; Melody was going to have a baby and I was going to be a father. Obviously I knew that conceptually, but now the facts were really hitting home. Mel's due date had always been in the future, that nebulous time of "sometime soon" but now it was really, really almost here and all those doubts about the bump's magical heritage crowded into my head. What if the bump was a squib or a Muggle? How would I deal with that? What would Mel think? How would we manage that, as I work at Hogwarts and Mel works at _Witch Weekly_? Melody's comment that I was 1.3% wizard crossed my mind but it was quickly overwhelmed by my fears and doubts.

I found a pipe, packed and lit it quickly, not even bothering to open the window. After looking around the room I though about everything disappearing, everything in my magical world. I'd have to move back to Virginia, get a job in some small university and try to explain the Hogwarts gap on my resume. Melody and the bump would have to adjust to America. Not only that, but Melody would have to try and find a job somewhere, and how would she put together a resume? Can't really list Hogwarts, the Holyhead Harpies or _Witch Weekly_ on a Muggle resume. Oh crap, Mel would have to learn how to drive a car. And child care…if we're both working who would watch the bump? Where would the bump go to school? Shit, what about visits over to England to see Grandmum Bramble…how the hell would we explain that?

* * *

I couldn't take it any longer. I put out my pipe and headed off to Titus' office. Luckily I didn't see any of my students as halfway to the Headmaster's office I realized I was wearing an old pair of jeans, a shirt with stains on it and no shoes or socks. I thought about heading back to my room but carried on towards Titus's office. After giving the password to the gargoyles I knocked on the door.

"Yes, wait a moment, please." Titus' voice was muffled somewhat by the door. A few seconds later he stood in front of me, hair askew in an untied Japanese kimono with dragons and flowers. "Hank? Everything ok? Come in, come in."

I walked in and stood uncertainly for a while until he motioned towards a small table. After we sat down I crossed my legs and he noticed that I was barefoot.

"Hank, are you quite sure you're all right?"

I took off my glasses and rubbed my eyes. "No, Gavin, I'm not. I got a letter from Melody and it got me thinking. What am I going to do if the bump's a squib or a Muggle? How will that work out? I wouldn't be able to teach here, would I? And what would we tell the bump, Dad works at Hogwarts but you can't attend? He'd be crushed."

He shook his head and gave me a worried smile. "Oh my boy, I can see why you're in a state." He waved his wand and a bottle of firewhiskey and two glasses levitated over to the table. He poured out a good stiff one for both of us and pushed the glass over to me. "You're not the first Muggle, or in your case almost-Muggle, to go through this, you know. Admittedly your case is a bit different, but I can assure you that every marriage between someone magical and someone Muggle has the same doubts. I've had this conversation before, actually."

I took a big drink, and then his words finally sunk in. "What? You married a Muggle?"

He shook his head. "No, but my daughter did. When Melanie was expecting their first I had the same conversation with my son-in-law. It's to be expected. You want the best for your child, and it would be hard to explain the wizarding world, especially why they can't be a part of it. I think you'll find the magic genes are a bit more powerful than you'd expect."

"Does that mean the baby was magical?"

"All five, Hank. All five." He cocked his head and gave me an appraising look. "When is the baby due?"

"June. First week." I took a deep breath. "Melody had a question, and I wasn't sure if I should ask or not…"

"Yes?"

"I know it's not normal, Gavin, I mean, professors stay at Hogwarts, and especially because I'm Head of House for Hufflepuff, but…since the baby's coming soon, Melody's having a harder time with the normal, everyday stuff. She wanted to know if I could spend evenings at Colony House. It's really close by, and with the Floo I could be here every morning and come back for Muggle Club and meetings and…"

"Stop right there, Hank." He waved a hand at me. "As Headmaster I take my job very seriously. I have to make decisions that are, uh, best for everyone, yes."

_Fuck. There went my evenings with Melody. How was I going to explain it?_ "I understand, Gavin."

"Let me finish, Hank. When I say everyone at Hogwarts I do mean everyone. I may have heard about this idea earlier this evening."

"Earlier this evening? I just got the letter? How?"

Gavin pointed over his shoulder to the portrait of Minerva McGonagall.

From the frame the former Headmistress smiled at me and waved slightly. "I hope you won't mind, Hank. She was in your office and she likes to talk to the dog."

I laughed for a bit and then took a big drink of firewhiskey.

"As I was saying, Hank." Gavin pointed a finger at me. "I make decisions that are, ah, yes, in the best interests for everyone at Hogwarts. We can't have you worried about your wife while you're trying to teach. I fear Miss Phillips, among others, may take advantage of you, as you would be distracted. Now, I think Melody, as well as Minerva, have the right idea. That's it, yes. Why don't you plan on travelling back and forth starting next week? I'd send you home now, since you're obviously concerned enough that you forgot your shoes and socks tonight, but I'll need to coordinate resources to take over as Head of House while you're absent in the evenings."

I stood up and shook Gavin's hand rapidly. "Thank you, thanks a ton. I really appreciate it and I know Melody will as well."

He smiled at me but didn't let my hand go immediately. "I will require you to be here the day before the first of May, though. We'll need your help preparing for the anniversary ceremonies."

"Sure thing, Gavin. No problem whatsoever."

He let my hand go and smiled at me. "All right, then, off you go."

I walked over to Minerva's portrait and kissed her on the forehead. "You're a big softie, you know that right?"

She pursed her lips at me and shooed me out of the room, but I could tell from her eyes that I was right; deep down, where it counts, Minerva McGonagall was a big softie and I would never, ever forget it.


	20. Y'all Are Family

**Chapter 20: Y'all are Family**

Neville sat in my room after classes had finished for the day and the two of us sipped butterbeer. I was in my big green chair Neville sat across from me with his feet up on my desk.

"Are you going to smoke that or not, Hank?"

I laughed and pulled the cigar out of its protective metal tube. "Yes, yes, I will. If Melody says anything to me I'm blaming you." After preparing the cigar I put it in my mouth and pointed to it, so Neville took out his wand and lit the end for me. I took a couple of big puffs and exhaled. "Damn, Nev, that's a good cigar. Thanks again."

"Glad you like it, Hank. Least that I could do after my week off."

"Shut up, you'd do the same for me. Any news?"

Neville took a sip of butterbeer. "Gran's latest letter said that they're back to where they were before we tried the experimental cure. Better than they were."

I waved my cigar towards him. "I guess that's good, right?"

He shrugged. "I suppose. You're a lucky man, Hank, going home to Melody every night."

"We'll see, tonight's the first night, so I'm sure it'll be great. After that it'll just be normal. Gonna make it hard to go back to the regular routine after the bump's born. September is going to be weird this year."

"Let's make it through this year first, shall we? And the big day, of course. Do you still think it's a boy?"

I nodded. "Yep. Mel thinks the bump's a girl, though. What are the odds right now?"

Neville squinted for a moment. "I believe Poesy said it's running about seventy percent girl at this time. You know Hannah and I will be happy for you regardless."

"I know, Nev. That's why you two are the godparents." I took a few big puffs on the cigar and realized I hadn't opened the window. "Hey, can you open the window?"

Neville took out his wand, waved it and almost immediately the windows in my room opened up; cool air rushed in and the cigar smoke began to slowly diffuse.

"Thanks. I guess I'm all ready to go, just waiting for Petal to stop by and go over the last minute Hufflepuff Head of House things."

After looking at his watch Neville stood up, drained his butterbeer and sat it on the desk. "On that note I really should be going. Have a good weekend and I'll see you on Monday. Will you be here early or just in time for classes?"

I laughed. "Do you think I'm going to miss breakfast?"

He was halfway out the door when he stopped and looked back. "You could always have Melody cook breakfast for you. I'd stay away from the spaghetti, though."

"Good one, good one, you're really funny, Neville."

* * *

My arrival at Colony House was not as wonderful as I had imagined it. When I got home all the lights were off, Spit wasn't in his crate and there was a note on the table from Melody. Apparently she had decided to take him for a walk and would be back later. So much for the warm welcome. Then again, I didn't tell her exactly what time I'd be home, so I couldn't really blame her for not being there.

I sat down my things, let Virgil out of his carrier and ended up wandering into the bump's room. The walls were still a combination of blue and pink, but that wasn't what caught my eye. Instead of a fairly empty room the place was almost packed with stuff; the crib, dresser, you name it. I sat down in the rocking chair and thought about my conversation with Titus about whether or not the bump would be a squib or a Muggle, and after a few minutes I came to the complete realization that had only been flitting around my head the entire time, only momentarily blocked out by my fears; it didn't matter at all if the bump would ever use a wand or not. Looking at all of the things around the room, the pictures of Melody and me, Lane and Hieronymus Bramble, my parents…all of those pictures sat on a little shelf, some of them moved and others didn't. It didn't matter if the bump couldn't use magic; there would be family that would love him no matter what, just like Melody and I would.

I got up from the chair and looked at the crib, all setup for a newborn, and noticed something orange out of the corner of my eye. After I walked over to the far wall I realized there was a very small Chudley Cannons pennant tucked in a very out-of-the-way spot. Ron Weasley had struck again.

The sound of the door opening and Spit's barking brought me out of my reverie. I was almost to the door of the bump's room when I heard Melody calling my name. "In here."

Spit barreled around the corner and ran into my legs. I reached down and petted him until Melody arrived.

"Oh Hank, I'm so glad you're home." She walked over and gave me a hug, and I realized how big she was when it was a somewhat awkward hug; her belly definitely got in the way.

"Glad to be home, love." I patted her belly. "Looks like someone's getting bigger. A potential Chudley Cannons fan, maybe?"

"Oh you saw that, did you? I should have known Ron was up to something."

"My guess is that if no Quidditch fans besides Ron are Cannons fans he's going to try to develop them early. So, what's for supper tonight? Spaghetti?"

She shook her head at me. "Oh, very funny. No, I'm not cooking. You're home now." She tilted her head at me and smiled. "Unless you don't want to cook tonight?"

I chuckled. "Yes dear, where do you want to eat tonight? I know that look." I squinted at her slightly. "And where have you been eating if you haven't been cooking?"

"I have a surprise for you. Give me a few minutes. Oh, and give Spit some water, please? He kept drinking out of the puddles."

* * *

I heard it before I saw it, and I knew that sound. I opened the curtain to see my little Morris Minor come around the corner and sit idling in front of the house, Melody at the wheel. After walking out of the house I went over to the driver's side as Melody opened the door.

"What the hell? When did you learn to drive? And who taught you?"

She smiled and honked the horn. "Arthur Weasley. It's a little secret project we hatched last Christmas. What would happen if we were in a Muggle area and I needed to take the bump somewhere? Surprised?"

"Fuck yes, I'm surprised." I walked around the car, got in the passenger seat and put on my seatbelt. "So, Miss Daisy, where are we going?" Noticing her confusion I waved it off. "Muggle reference. Come on now, where are we going?"

"My new favorite place." She closed her door, turned on the headlights, put the car in gear and we were off.

I didn't say much on the way, as she was busy telling me how Arthur had been stopping over to teach her about driving, and that she'd only had one small accident but that the tree was too small to make it anyway and I was amazed that she was managing all of the things required to drive. She was very much a new driver, very cautious at spots and completely reckless at others. As we made our way down the road I glanced over at her.

"We're headed into the village, aren't we?"

She just smiled and didn't say a word. A few minutes later we were parked outside of the village pub. After turning off the engine she handed me the keys.

"You can drive on the way home. I don't like driving when it's dark."

"Holy shit, Mel. If Nate could see you now."

"Oooh, maybe I can drive his green car the next time we visit!"

I was busy imagining Melody behind the wheel of Nate's Aston Martin and that caused me to laugh; driving the little Morris was one thing, but the Aston? With all that horsepower?

"Ah, Mrs. Boyd, good to see you. And you brought your husband? The lads will be disappointed at that." Hamish waved at us from behind the bar. "Seat yourself, lassie. The usual?"

She nodded at him and I followed her to a small booth. After we'd settled in I looked over at her. "The usual? Mel, what's going on?"

She thanked the waitress that brought over a large glass of sparkly water with three lemon slices in it and then ordered me a pint. After the waitress left she reached across the table and took my hand. "Are you mad?"

"No, I'm not mad, but I'm thinking you might be. Mel, you know about the stuff going on, the people who don't really think too highly of me, what if they found you here? And what have you been telling them here at the pub?"

"I told them I'm your research assistant for that book you're supposedly writing. Took me a while to convince Hamish that you aren't a complete wanker for going off for long stretches while I'm pregnant. I come in here about twice a week, sometimes more. Hamish is a rather nice bloke, you know."

The waitress arrived and sat a pint in front of me. "What'll it be tonight?"

Before I could say a word or even look at the menu Melody answered for me. "For starters let's have the potato skins, everything on them. I'll have the haggis lasagna and he'll have the sirloin steak, medium-rare, and everything else. We'll do puds later on. Oh, please tell me you still have the ice cream and coffee thing?"

The waitress looked over to Melody and nodded. "Yes, it's still on. Be right back."

I couldn't believe it. "Haggis lasagna? You act like you're going to be sick whenever I have haggis."

She rolled her eyes at me. "Well, the bump likes it, what can I say? I think it's the Scottish side in her coming out."

* * *

As I pulled into our driveway I felt very content; Melody pretty much knew how to drive, we'd just had a wonderful meal at the pub and I had the whole weekend ahead to grade parchment and take care of my wife. I wanted nothing more than to change clothes, lounge on the couch with Mel and watch a DVD. Of course that's not what happened. As I got closer to the shed I saw someone standing next to the door, half-lit by the headlights.

"Mel, get your wand out. There's someone here."

She glanced over at me quickly and then pulled out her wand. I was mentally kicking myself for not wearing my guns when all of the sudden Mel put her wand away. "Thank Merlin, it's just Harry."

After I stopped the car and got out Harry walked towards us; unfortunately I saw his Auror robes.

Harry gave Melody an apologetic smile. "Sorry to intrude, Melody, but I need to borrow Hank for a few hours."

She walked over to him and pointed her finger at him menacingly. "Harry Potter, this is his first night home and now you're whisking him away to go play Auror? He'd better be back soon and in one piece or…or…you won't like it. Do you promise me?"

He nodded very slowly. "Yes, Mrs. Boyd, I'll have him back very soon. This will only take a few hours at the most. We'll just be in London. I promise you it will be safe."

"Hmmm…all right, then." She walked over to me, pulled me down for a kiss and then looked back at Harry. "Remember, you promised."

After she walked into the house Harry looked at me and shook his head. "And I thought Ginny was bad."

"Shut up, Harry. So what's going on? We're going to London? Something up at the Ministry?"

"Not exactly." Harry walked over and took a hold of my arm. "It is in London, and I do need your help on this one."

Before I could say anything we Apparated away.

When the scenery returned to normal I felt Harry let go of my arm and I took a look around.

"Are we at a police station? I watched two uniformed officers walk by and then looked back at Harry. Instead of walking ahead he was busy stuffing his Auror robe into a small wallet-sized little pouch and I noticed he wore a dark suit with a white shirt and tie. "I'm definitely not dressed for the occasion."

"Don't worry about it, Hank. We're here to see one person. I've found that if I dress like this I'm usually taken a little more seriously." He pulled out a badge and fastened it to the lapel of his jacket. "This should do the trick."

I looked over at the badge and didn't see anything. "A blank badge?"

He looked down. "Oh bugger." After taking out his wand and waving it the badge changed to show a picture of Harry and a bunch of other things. "Better. This should get us through all of the red tape."

I let out an exasperated sigh. "Fill me in later. Let's do whatever it is so I can go home."

He elbowed me in the arm. "I thought you liked playing Auror, Hank?"

"Usually I do, but not tonight. You saw Melody. Do you want to go home to that if we stay out all night? Wait, it'll be worse."

Harry winced. "Right. And Ginny's expecting me home at a decent hour as well. Let's go."

I followed Harry into the police station and soon we were at the reception area. I stood behind Harry and let him do the honors, and after a few minutes of conversation he looked back at me. "Do you have any identification? Your Driving License?"

I pulled out my wallet and handed him my driver's license. A few minutes later he handed it back to me, handed me a badge that read "VISITOR" and headed off with an officer. I followed him and we wound our way through the office until we finally arrived at a small conference room. The officer opened the door for us and said that he'd be back momentarily. I sat down next to Harry and looked over at him.

"Ok, you've told me two things about tonight, jack and shit. Care to fill me in?"

Before he could answer the door opened and a rather large, muscular dark-haired officer entered the room. I watched his face as it went from a very serious, very official police-type face to one of surprised recognition. He closed the door, walked forward and extended his hand to Harry.

"Now this is a surprise. Good to see you."

Harry smiled back at him. "Good to see you too, Constable Dursley. Dudley, this is my friend Hank Boyd."

I extended my hand and Dudley shook it, almost breaking my hand in the process. "Nice to meet you, Mr. Boyd."

"Hank is fine, nice to meet you, too." I glanced over at Harry and he smirked at me a bit.

Harry pointed to the chairs. "We'd better get started. Hank's wife is pregnant and not happy that I have him out tonight."

Everyone sat down and Constable Dursley looked at Harry, at me, and then back at Harry. "This is a big surprise. Got your Christmas card, but didn't expect I'd see you, especially here. You in some trouble?"

Harry shook his head. "Got your card as well, but no, not in any trouble. Not me, anyway." Harry took out his wand and cast a few spells. "There, that should take care of it. Nobody can hear anything or see anything, and we won't be disturbed. Dudley, we need your help."

"Me?" Dudley shook his head. "I'm just a constable; I don't know how I can help you. I don't have any magic."

"Neither do I, really." I shrugged. "It's true. Well, I can set stuff on fire, but usually not on purpose."

Harry nodded. "That's right, Dudley. Hank's helping us out and he's only 1% wizard."

"1.3%." I corrected Harry.

"Right, right. Sorry, Hank. Like I said, Dudley, we need your help. There's a group of Muggles that are trying to prove that magic exists, call themselves WHAM, but I'm not sure why. They're mostly over in the UMS, em, America, but we've received reports that they're over here as well. We need someone to get as much intelligence on them as possible."

Dudley looked confused. "Don't you have people to do that? Harry, I'm just a regular police constable. I don't think you want me."

Harry shook his head. "You're wrong, Big D, we do want you. You know me, and you know that the wizarding world exists, obviously. More than that, you're a trained PC. We've got a person undercover in America with the group, but we need someone here in the UK. More importantly, we need someone with no magic whatsoever. If you agree to help, the Ministry will work with your people to give you complete clearance on this case. Chance to move up."

Dudley looked at Harry for quite a long time until I started feeling uncomfortable. Finally he nodded at Harry. "Ok. I'll think about it. Least I can do. Won't be telling Mum and Dad, though." He looked at me. "And how the bloody hell can you be a 1.3% wizard?"

I laughed. "Long story, but let me show you." I took out my wand and thought hard about turning Harry's badge into a cocker spaniel, but all that happened was that some fire leaked out of the end of my wand and fell onto the floor where it flickered for a while and then went out.

Dudley gave Harry a sideways glance and then laughed. "That was rubbish."

I put my wand away. "Tell me about it."

Dudley sat back in his chair for a moment. "And you're helping the Aurors?"

"Yep." I glanced over at Harry and watched him hide a smile. I turned back to Dudley. "Don't really use my wand much at all, but I'm doing what I can."

Again Dudley didn't say anything, but he looked at me intently. "It's that important? So important that you're mucking about with wizards while your wife is pregnant?"

"Yeah, it's that important."

Dudley sat forward in his chair. "Ok, Harry. I'm in. After all, I owe you."

Harry smiled. "Thanks, Dudley. I'll start the process tomorrow. Get a good night's sleep, you're going to be busy." Harry stood up and Dudley and I followed suit. As we were all ready to leave Harry took off the spells on the room. His tone towards Dudley changed to one that would be innocuous if overheard. "So, Dudley, seeing anyone?"

Dudley's eyes brightened as he understood what Harry was doing. "No, not since the last one. How's the wife and kids?"

Harry nodded. "Good, good. We're expecting number three in July."

I followed the two of them out of the room and through the office until we were at the front door. Dudley put his hand out and shook Harry's hand, and then it was my turn. Once again my hand felt like it was in a vise as I shook the huge constable's hand. Without saying another word he turned and went back to his work, and Harry opened the door for me. As soon as we had walked to an appropriately out-of-the-way spot Harry put on his Auror robe.

"That was easier than I expected."

I shook my head at him. "That was your cousin, right? The one that was horrible to you when you were a kid?"

"He grew up."

Harry took a hold of my arm, and right before we Apparated back to Colony House a thought came to me. _Draco Malfoy grew up as well._

* * *

For the next few weeks things went surprisingly well. I wasn't pulled out of my classroom by Harry or Ron, Neville seemed to be more like his old self, my students were good as usual and the process of staying at Colony House at night had fallen into a nice routine. My Hufflepuff students were extremely well-behaved, but I chalked that up to having to deal with former Auror Petal Farnsworth as opposed to me. I can't use my wand for shit, but she's the DADA professor, big difference. It was the last Sunday in April when things changed, thanks to my stupid brother.

I was taking full advantage of the fact that I could sleep in, something that Melody and I agreed was best so I didn't get cranky. When she came in and woke me up I was surprised at her irritation.

"What's wrong?"

"Do you even remember me talking to you earlier? Giving you the letter from your brother?"

I rubbed my eyes and reached over for my glasses. "I have no idea what you're talking about. And which brother?"

She put her hands on the top of her belly. "I wonder about you, I really do. What's that on the pillow? The other pillow, Hank."

I looked over and saw an envelope lying directly on top of Melody's pillow. "When'd that get there?"

"Merlin save me. It's a miracle your mum isn't barmy. Hank, I walked in here earlier and gave you the envelope. You sat up in bed, opened your eyes and talked to me. You don't remember that at all?"

"Nope." I took a look at the return address on the envelope and recognized the horrible scrawl. "What's Nate want?"

At that point Melody threw up her hands. "That's what I came in to ask you!" Without saying a word she walked out of the room.

I opened the envelope and opened the letter, which, as usual, was short.

_Hey Dork,_

_Looks like you and the pregnant one are in for some more company. I expect the appropriate soundproofing stuff on your spare bedroom since Lavender and I will be there on Tuesday. We're coming over for the ten year anniversary ceremony, but I figured you need some advance warning for Mom coming over when Melody hatches the kid or whatever it is that witches actually do. _

_I think I'll make you go out and have a few drinks. I'm sure George Weasley would be up for that. _

_See you in a couple of weeks. _

_Your favorite brother,_

_Nate_

_P.S. Not kidding about the soundproofing._

I sat down the letter and looked towards the door. "MEL!"

A few moments later she half-waddled into the room and looked worried. "What is it? Something wrong?"

"Yeah. Nate and Lavender are coming to stay with us before the anniversary ceremony at Hogwarts. And he mentioned having soundproofing charms on the spare bedroom. Twice."

The worried expression on Mel's face quickly dissolved into one of irritation. "You called me in here, like that, just to tell me that your brother and Lavender are coming for a visit? I'm the one who's carrying your child and you couldn't be bothered to get out of bed? When did you get polio?"

I opened my mouth to say something, but the only thing that came out was not what I meant. "Holy…how much have you and Mom been talking? That's what she always says to Dad."

"Based on your behaviour this morning your mum should have a statue in her honor. Now get your arse out of bed, we have things to do this morning."

After throwing on some clothes I found myself being pulled down the London streets by Melody. She was in one of her purposeful moods, the ones that sort of scared me as she was intently focused and was somewhat prickly. My attempts at humor fell flat, and only after finally convincing her that I would need tea or a strong cup of coffee to be manageable did she seem to calm down. She had a decaffeinated coffee that was full of chocolate, sugar, whipped cream and caramel, so I was reasonably assured that I wouldn't end up hexed or buck naked in a field twenty miles north of Stintborough. I sipped my plain coffee and walked with her to our first destination for the day.

"So where are we going again? You didn't tell me."

"Lavinia is right, you're going to leave the baby in a shop somewhere. I told you yesterday, we're picking up a few things for the bump, I need a new dress for the anniversary ceremony and we've got an appointment at St. Mungo's."

"Oh shit, I've got to go to Madame Malkin's? Can't I just go to Flourish & Blotts and wait for you?"

She gave me one of _those_ looks. "Merlin, Hank, it won't take too long. I need your opinion; everyone will be there."

"Are you working the event or just attending?"

"Attending." She looked away from me for a moment. "Just attending."

After that I didn't say anything, I just followed her into Madame Malkin's. When we got there you would have thought that one of the royal family had arrived they way they treated Melody. The Medea Incident seemed to have made Melody a "very important personage" at the shop. I tried ducking out and heading towards the men's side but she wouldn't let me; instead I gave my opinion on what seemed like every freaking dress in the shop. The sales assistant did the magical expansion for the bump thing, and I gave my opinion a few times, but eventually Melody stopped asking. Finally she walked out in a pale blue dress; the color reminded me of the dress she wore to my brother Ted's wedding, so I made sure she knew that I liked that one.

Two hours and several Galleons later I followed her to St. Mungo's. "I thought we had to pick up some things for the bump?"

"I'm so sorry, Hank, but we can't today. Took too long getting the dress. Not a word." She cocked her head at me. "You do like it, don't you?"

"Oh yeah, I like that one. Best one of the bunch."

"You're not just saying that to stop me from looking some more, are you?"

I laughed. "Oh no, we're not going back. I do like it, though. Especially the color. Makes your boobs look great, too."

She smacked me on the arm, causing an elderly couple on a bench to laugh at us. Eventually we made our way into St. Mungo's, and this time we didn't get lost as it was obvious that Melody knew the way. Instead of going to the classroom with the pillows, though, we went a different way.

"Hey, isn't it back there?"

"No, Hank, we're not going to class today. This is a checkup appointment."

* * *

After checking in and being led to the examination room I sat in the chair next to Melody. She was already on the exam table bed thingy, looking through a copy of _Celebrity_ _Wizard_ _Weekly_, but I found myself wondering what kinds of tests they could do. It was St. Mungo's, after all, not the local Muggle hospital; surely there were charms or something they could do to determine if the baby was magical or not. At that point it was a question of curiosity, not of fear; I would be happy as long as the bump was healthy.

A short, elderly witch wearing a weird green hat of some kind walked in with a clipboard and a quill stuck behind her ear, making her look as if there was a bird on her head.

"Mrs. Boyd, good to see you. Ah, today Mr. Boyd has decided to finally attend."

I gave Melody a quick glance and she obviously got my intent.

"Don't you remember, Healer Berfic? My husband teaches at Hogwarts. He hasn't been able to attend until now." She looked over at me and smiled.

Healer Berfic moved around the room, gathering items from storage cupboards. "Oh yes, that's right. So sorry. I would think that Gavin would have let him out before now, but rules are rules, I suppose."

_What? She knows Titus?_ I sat up straight in my chair. "Excuse me, Healer. You know Headmaster Titus?"

She nodded. "Yes, friend of the family. Should have been teaching at Hogwarts ages ago, but he wouldn't listen to his mother." She turned to Melody. "Time is flying, isn't it? Let's take a look and see how things are cooking."

Melody laid back and lifted up her top, exposing her big belly. A few moments later Healer Berfic spread some sort of jelly stuff on her belly, and then waved her wand. Melody started to say something, and almost sat up, but it was too late; the jelly shifted from blue to pink and then finally settled on a dark shade of blue.

"Congratulations, it's a boy!" Healer Berfic smiled at Melody, but that faded almost instantly when she saw Mel's face. "Sorry, I thought that was part of what we're doing today. Well, too late now. Let's check everything else."

I walked over to Melody, took her hand and leaned in close. "You weren't planning on that, were you?"

"No."

Her voice was very flat and measured. It was still polite, but I knew she was livid. I gave her a quick kiss. "Mel, it's a boy. It's not the bump anymore, its Hieronymus."

* * *

When we got home Melody sat down on the sofa and took off her shoes. I went over to give her a foot rub, as that's what I thought she wanted, but instead the shoes went flying past my head, hit the wall and knocked off a picture.

"Jesus, Mel!"

"That bloody Healer! She knew I didn't want to find out the baby's sex, I had to put that on the forms!"

I went over and replaced the picture on the wall, picked up her shoes and sat on the sofa. "What's with the shoe throwing? Really." I picked up her feet and swung her legs around until they were in my lap. I started to rub and felt her relax slightly. "I know you didn't want to know, and I didn't want to know, either, but that ship's sailed now. Just think, Mel, rolling around in your belly now is Hieronymus Robert. Try it out."

She pulled a face. "What do you mean, try it out?"

I shook my head. "Come on, you're going to be a mom. Every mom uses their kid's middle name when they're in trouble, and if you get the full name you know it's bad. Trust me, when I heard Mom say my full name I knew I was in deep shit. I've got four, you know."

"Mummy, Hank, not Mom." After thinking for a moment she looked over at the dog and said "Hieronymus Robert! Don't put clotted cream on the dog!"

"Good, good, but you didn't use a Mom voice. Sorry, Mummy voice. Let me try." I thought about it for a moment and then looked towards my office. "HIERONYMUS ROBERT BOYD! PUT DOWN THOSE RECORDS RIGHT NOW!"

Melody shivered. "Oooh, that's scary. Do you ever talk to your students like that?"

I chuckled. "No, they aren't that bad anymore. I did do some of that my first year, especially in Poesy's class."

"Oh, somebody didn't like that." Melody picked up my hand and put it on her belly. "Feel that?"

I felt a foot or something push against Mel's belly. I leaned down and put my face against her stomach. "You don't want to hear that, do you? Remember that when you get here."

The sound of the Floo surprised us; the people who had arrived by Floo surprised us even further. There in the fireplace, brushing off Floo powder, were Nate and Lavender.

"Hey big brother, sorry about the early arrival. Had a bit of a problem." Nate gave me an apologetic smile, but I could tell something was up.

Lavender, instead of being the girly Lavender of their last visit, looked as if she was ready to bite someone's head off. "We were supposed to be at my parent's house until Tuesday, but…right. I'm going to use the loo."

After Lavender left the room Nate sat down on a chair opposite of the sofa. "Listen, Hank, Melody…it didn't go too well at her folks' place. Big argument. I'm sorry if we're messing things up, I know it's rude not to call or anything…"

I waved him off. "Don't worry, Nate, y'all are family. As you can see we're not doing anything, just hanging out."

His tone was quiet. "Right. I expect you to say that." He turned to Mel. "Melody, I'm sorry. If you want…"

Melody stuck out her tongue at him. "Its fine, Nate. No soundproofing on the bedroom, though."

He shook his head. "No worries about that tonight."

"Nate, what happened, man?" I pushed my glasses to the top of my head. "Everything ok?"

"No." Lavender walked in and sat down in the chair next to Nate's. "My parents still have some things to work though, it seems."

I looked at Nate, but he didn't say anything; instead he glanced over at Lavender and then focused on something on the far wall. Lavender sat with her arms crossed, her foot tapping rapidly. The room was quiet for a while until I felt Mel's foot give me a gentle kick. I cleared my throat. "Ok, this is…right. What the hell happened?"

Nate looked over at Lavender, and she started to say something and then stopped. After several seconds she shook her head. "You tell them, I'm still too angry."

"Yeah." Nate scratched his head for a moment. "Well, everything seemed to be going ok. I'd only met her folks a couple of times before, and never for very long, so this was supposed to be the big get acquainted visit. After about an hour there I realized that I should have written you, Melody, for all the back issues of _Witch Weekly_ that talk about how to get along with Muggle in-laws and then reversed it, because it was awkward as hell. Except for Lavender we have absolutely nothing in common. Hank, you know cars are my fallback, every girl I've ever dated I could talk to their fathers about cars. Or sports, football, baseball…that shit doesn't work here. I was fumbling around for something to talk about and started talking about you, how you teach at Hogwarts. Things were good until I mentioned that you and Melody are expecting a baby soon, and then the shit hit the fan."

"I'm sorry, why would that be a problem?" Melody looked at Nate. "I don't understand."

"Because I don't know if I can actually have a baby, Melody." Lavender's tone was icy. "My mum started in on that again. I'm an only child, she deserves a grandchild, blah blah blah. She knows that with the potions I'm taking to control the werewolf…"

Nate put his hand on Lavender's arm. "We're still looking into that. But the doctors tell us that right now it might not be possible for Lavender to get pregnant. I told that to her Mom and it got worse. That's when she laid into Lavender for marrying me and moving to America. She also said some not-so-nice things about me being a Muggle."

"Oh shit." I gently moved Mel's feet off of the sofa and went over to the cabinet, picked out a bottle of scotch and three glasses. I handed one to Nate, one to Lavender and sat mine on the table. I gave Lavender four fingers, Nate three and just a bit for me. After sitting down I picked up Melody's feet and put them in my lap again. "Sorry, Mel, the bump won't take kindly to single malt."

Nate took a drink. "It's going to get worse. All of our stuff is over there, plus they're going to the ceremony on Friday."

Lavender drank all of her scotch in one go. "The hell with them. I can marry who I want and I bloody well did. She's still mad that I didn't have a big ceremony. Can you see me in one of those frilly white wedding dresses? No offense, Melody, but it's not me."

I took a drink of scotch. "Actually Lavender, I can see you in one of those." I waited for a moment. "But only if it showed a lot of cleavage." I felt Melody kick me again and Nate laughed. "Hey, I'm right, aren't I?"

Lavender took out her wand and for a moment I thought I was going to get it, but instead she levitated the bottle over and poured more scotch. "Actually, Hank, you're absolutely right. We all know how much you love my girls."

That seemed to break the tension, and things relaxed after that. We talked about the ceremony for a while and I explained to them my new sleeping arrangement, informing them that they'd be in charge of Melody's biscuit delivery for a few days as Titus required me to be at Hogwarts leading up to the ceremony. What surprised me was how interested Lavender was about Hieronymus. She asked Melody all sorts of questions, and even though Lavender said she wasn't sure if she could ever be a mother I could sense it was more than just polite questioning, there was some sadness in her voice. Melody must have heard it too, because she surprised the hell out of me.

"Hank, tell them."

"What?" You could have knocked me over with a feather. "Are you sure?"

"Sure about what?" Nate tipped his glass at me. "Find out you're having twins?"

"Oh Merlin, I don't think I could ever do that. I'd go mental." Melody laughed. "Tell them, Hank."

I noticed Lavender looking at me very intently. "Ok, we didn't plan on doing it, but the doctor, er, Healer was a bit of a space cadet. It's a boy." I watched Lavender's face light up as well as Nate's. "His name is going to be Hieronymus Robert when he gets here."

"Hieronymus? What the hell kind of name is that?" Nate laughed. "You've got to call him by his initials, keep him from getting pantsed all the time. Hieronymus Robert? Call him HR."

"Hieronymus was my father's name." Mel batted her eyes and smiled at Nate.

"Oh, fuck me, I'm an idiot." Nate shook his head. "I should have known."

I saw Lavender take Nate's hand. She smiled at Melody and me. "You will bring him over to the UMS to visit, won't you? Aunt Lavender, I can get used to that. Yes. Definitely."


	21. Shakespeare, Not Spells

**Chapter 21: Shakespeare, Not Spells**

"Why am I here again?"

"Shut up, Nate. You're my teaching aid for the day. Try and be like Fatso in Mrs. Merrick's Advanced Biology class back in high school."

"Wasn't he the fake skeleton that sat in the corner? The one she used to show how all the bones worked together? It didn't do anything, it just sat there."

"Exactly."

Nate and I sat in my room on the first day of May. The visit had gone well, but I had to be back at Hogwarts and with Lavender being at the Ministry so often Nate was bitching about being bored. I had owled Titus to get permission to have Nate visit my classes that day as I figured it would be the first time that some of my students had actually met a Muggle, and hopefully it would be a good teaching experience. I'd forgotten how much of a pain in the ass my brother was, though.

Nate sat in my big green chair and took a sip of coffee. "Have to say, this house elf thing is awesome. Don't know if I've actually seen one over in America. Wonder if Lavender and I could get one?"

"You'd have to hire one, and even then you probably shouldn't let Hermione hear you talking about it. They were pretty much slaves until her legislation changed things. From what I hear there's still a lot of old school witches and wizards who are pissed off about it."

"Whatever." Nate shook his head. "Still feels weird to be here, knowing there's students around. Last time I was here I got to stay with Lavender, and…well…"

"I don't want to hear about it. Are you sure she and Melody are ok?"

Nate nodded. "Yeah. We've been up late lately talking. About babies, if you can believe it. If this crazy shit ever ends we might even think about adopting."

"Really? Wow." I nodded for a moment. "Wait, which crazy shit are you talking about, the wizarding stuff?"

"Well, that too. You're really isolated here, aren't you? When's the last time you read a Muggle newspaper or watched the news? You are the Muggle Studies teacher, right?"

"Crap. You're right, I'm kind of out of touch with what's going on in the Muggle world. I've got the crazy stuff that's going on here, the stuff you know about, and Melody's pregnant…what have I missed?"

"Economy's in the toilet. I'm having a hard time selling cars. With gas prices, the stock market tanking, people losing their houses and everything going to hell it's kind of hard to justify buying a Porsche."

"How are you managing, Nate?" I straightened my back and felt a few pops. "What about Mom and Dad? Ted, Jennifer, everybody? They haven't said anything in their letters."

"So far so good, I guess. Dad got out of the stock market years ago when he lost some money, you know how he is. All of his stuff's in cash. Everybody else is managing. You want me to talk about the economy when we're in your classes?"

I shook my head. "No, not really. Only if it comes up with the seventh years, everybody else will probably want to know more about the cars and shit like that."

Nate stretched out his long legs. "Still can't believe Melody knows how to drive now. She asked if she could drive my Vanquish the next time y'all visit. Can you imagine her with a V12 instead of the two hamsters you have in the Morris?"

"Fuck. She'd wrap it around a tree in five minutes." I looked at my watch. "Ok, we'd better be going. Let me finish getting dressed, ten minutes."

"Can't believe you wear a bowtie and a robe. This shit's right up your alley, you get to dress like a dork."

"Kiss my ass."

* * *

Before the fourth years came into my classroom Nate turned to me and shook his head. "Can't believe some of these questions. Crazy."

"They're young. I sort of count as a Muggle to them, but you? You're the real deal."

"Hank, if they don't know anything about Muggles it's no wonder Lavender's parents freaked out when they found out she married me. It'd be like me coming home and telling Mom I married an alien or something."

"With the girls you used to bring home it'd probably be a relief for Mom."

"Nate!" Lavinia ran into the room and gave Nate a hug.

"Vinny, good to see you, girl." He held her at arm's length. "Damn, you're getting taller."

She laughed. "You'd better watch your language, you'll owe money."

"Owe money?" Nate gave her a confused look. "Fill me in."

While Nate found out about the swearing penalties in Muggle Studies the rest of the class filed into the room, the usual chatter cut short the instant that they saw Nate. I sat behind my desk for a while and then finally tapped Nate on the shoulder, and he took a seat beside my desk in the chair that I'd pulled out of another classroom. When Lavinia finally sat down I stepped in front of my desk and sat on the edge.

"As you can see we have a visitor in class today. Since this is Muggle Studies I thought it would be appropriate for you to meet a Muggle; luckily for me I know this one very well. Class, this is my younger brother Nate. He and his wife are here for a visit and to attend the anniversary ceremony tomorrow. I'm going to put what we have scheduled for today off until Monday so we can have a question and answer type of class. You can ask Nate questions, but any personal questions about me are strictly off-limits."

A hand went up in the back, a Ravenclaw boy. "If he's a Muggle why's he going to the anniversary ceremony?"

Nate stood up and I watched the students' heads go up as they realized how tall he is. "You're right, I'm a Muggle. No magic at all. I'm going to the ceremony because my wife is a witch; she was a student here during the Battle of Hogwarts so it's very important for us that we attend."

For the rest of the class it was just like the first and second years, they asked some basic questions and Nate handled them with aplomb. I was happy to not hear the crazy questions, which meant that my class had been paying attention and were actually learning.

After class ended Nate said goodbye to the class, singling out Lavinia to say goodbye. I sat back at my desk, moving assignment dates around in my planner when I realized that my next class was the seventh years. "Hey Nate, get ready. This is the class that gave me a hard time my first year here."

"Is the girl here that gave you the name for your first book?"

I nodded. "Yeah, Poesy Phillips. This is a small class, think of it like an advanced placement class or something like that."

"Got it. We have time for some coffee?"

"Yeah, we've got some time. Sure you don't want tea? I could use some…" Before I could say anything Nonky stood next to my desk with two cups; a coffee for Nate and tea for me. "Thanks, Nonky. You didn't have to do that right away."

He looked embarrassed and Apparated away before I could say anything else.

"Got to get a house elf, the hell with what Hermione says, Hank. You have to admit that's pretty damn cool."

Nate picked up my textbook from the desk and started flipping through it. I concentrated on working on the class schedules when I heard the seventh years walk in; unlike the fourth years they kept up the barrage of words. I looked up at them for a minute, trying to figure out why they weren't as freaked out as the younger students, but then I realized most of these kids, if not all of them, were at my wedding. They'd already seen, and in some cases met my brother. I moved over to my usual spot and did the introduction thing, and Nate waved from his chair.

"Y'all don't seem too surprised my brother is here in class today."

"We heard all about it." Ruby smiled at me.

"Right, Lavinia, I'm assuming." I adjusted my tie briefly. "Ok, since this is a discussion class for the most part we won't have any interruptions to the schedule." A knock on the door elicited laughter from my class, and I looked to see Lavinia at my door. "Yes, Miss Ryder, what is it? Forget something?"

She shook her head. "No Professor, Headmaster Titus said you're to go to his office right away."

"Now?" I looked at Nate and then my class. "Is he sending someone down?"

Lavinia shrugged. "He didn't say, just that you're to go to his office right away."

I rubbed my forehead for a moment. "Shit. Ok, I guess y'all are on your own. Be good, I'll know if you weren't. I'll be back as soon as I can. Nate, I guess you're in charge. Sit down, Liv; I'll pay up when I get back."

"Hot damn." He stood up and rubbed his hands together. "We're be just fine, Hank, just fine."

* * *

As soon as I got to Titus' office he waved me over to his fireplace immediately, and as soon as I got there I understood why: the head of Draco Malfoy danced in the green flames of the Floo.

"Draco! Holy crap, what's going on?" I knelt down by the fireplace. "Are you still in America?"

He nodded. "No time for that at the present. What's important is that I believe I'll be in a position to apprehend Miss Gradenko very soon. Be careful, Hank, as she has certainly focused part of her plans on you. I had to Floo you, the suspicions were right. Miss Gradenko is Cassandra Palliurum."

"Sonovabitch…are you sure?"

"Yes, I am quite certain. Please relay my message to Weasley and Potter." His head moved in the flames, suddenly. "I have to leave. I'll contact you again when it is safe."

With that the flames disappeared from the Floo. I looked over to Titus. "Merlin's socks, pants and underwear…it's her. Fucking hell, it's her!"

Titus looked a little pale. As usual he ignored the swearing. "I believe that Mr. Malfoy wanted you to contact Aurors Potter and Weasley. This is information best delivered in person, yes, yes, in person. I'll take your class…" He stared at me for a moment. "Who is leading your class?"

"My brother. Gavin, can you go down there…"

"Of course, of course. Use the Floo here from my office, I'll open it up."

"Right, thanks, Gavin. Be right back; have to go get my badge."

Both of us left his office at the same time, me to go get my Ministry badge and Gavin to go mitigate the damage I was sure Nate had inflicted on my students. I literally ran to my room, rooted around in my desk until I found my badge and then made my way to Titus' office as quickly as possible. Once I made it to the fireplace I threw down the Floo powder and left Hogwarts.

When I arrived at the Ministry it was the usual craziness as people were going every which way, most of them in a hurry, and for some reason I'd arrived at a different area that usual. Instead of appearing on the Auror floor I was someplace that seemed like the most confusing place on earth as I had no idea what anyone was doing or what was going on. I could have asked someone, but to be honest I didn't really care; I had to find Ron and Harry. I flipped over my badge and luckily the little red dot did its work, pointing me towards the elevator. I hurriedly walked over and got on next to a witch carrying a package that was leaking a pale yellow smoke and pushed the button for my floor. A few stomach-churning moments later I got out on the right floor, thought about Ron's office and the red dot blinked appropriately. I set off at a quick pace.

"Professor? What are you doing here?" Edith looked up from her desk. "What's wrong?"

"Is Ron in? I've got to talk to him. Or Harry."

She grimaced. "I'm sorry; they're both out right now. Is it something I can help you with?"

"Fuck." I ran my hand through my hair. "Robards! Is he in?"

"Yes…Professor, what's going on? I've never seen you like this." Edith stood up and walked over to me, taking my arm. "Come on, I'll take you, it will be faster than you staring at your badge."

* * *

When we got to Robards office he was in a meeting, but Edith took over from there, informing Miss Kendricks that I had an urgent message. I could hear Robards bellow from his office when Miss Kendricks interrupted him, but after a few moments she appeared through the door and motioned for me to go in. It surprised me when Edith followed, but I didn't worry about it; I had bigger fish to fry.

"All right, Professor Muggle, what's so damn important that you had to interrupt my meeting?"

I looked around and didn't see anyone. "Nobody's here, what…"

"Merlin's beard, man, the Floo? Come on then, spit it out." He drummed his fingers impatiently on his desk. "Yes?"

I took a deep breath. "Draco Malfoy contacted me by Floo at Hogwarts. He's close to capturing Miss Gradenko, but more than that he has proof that Miss Gradenko is actually Cassandra Palliurum, and that she's after me, among other things."

That got his attention. He sprang up from his desk. "KENDRICKS! GET POTTER AND WEASLEY BACK HERE NOW." His face was taut as he turned to me. "Did Malfoy say anything else? Can't believe he's back from the UMS already."

"Huh?" _What the hell did he mean_? "How do you know he's back?"

Robards rolled his eyes. "You really are mostly Muggle. Can't do international Floo calls, they're all local. That means he's somewhere in the UK. Really. Winston, you're to write all this up, got me? I need it yesterday. KENDRICKS I NEED POTTER AND WEASLEY NOW!" He waved me towards the door. "Go back to Weasley's office, we've reassigned your old office and this time nobody complained about the paint."

As we exited Robards office I turned to Edith. "Nobody complained because _I_ had it painted."

Edith shook her head. "Don't worry, if he didn't like you he wouldn't say those things. I've been in meetings with him when he doesn't like someone and he's very polite to them."

When we got to Ron's office Edith opened the door and I made sure not to sit in Harry's chair. She sat at Ron's desk, took out a parchment and quill and sat to work. While Edith wrote the only sounds in the office were the quill on paper, I was busy trying to put things together. Cassandra Palliurum was Miss Gradenko, and if that was the case she was involved with the killing of the two Muggles in the basement. She was also tied to the burnt house in Ireland, but what was confusing was that she was also somehow connected to the WLF. The WLF would have never approved her use of Muggles, but they were responsible for the missing Muggle Studies professors…

"What's so bloody important?" Ron walked into his office, took one look at Edith at his desk, then me, and began to swear.

"Ron!" I stood up. "Malfoy Flooed me at Hogwarts. He's close to capturing Miss Gradenko, and he's sure that Miss Gradenko is Cassandra Palliurum!"

"Merlin." He reached up and loosened the tie from his Auror uniform. "Edith, are you about done? Need my desk."

"Sure, boss." She picked up the parchment and relocated to a different chair, conjured up a small desk and continued writing.

Ron sat at his desk, took a deep breath and opened a drawer, bringing out a rather large file folder. He flipped through the pages until he found what he was looking for. "Cassandra Palliurum, mid fifties, still a decent looking woman if you can believe that. Based on what you've told me, Hank…wait, you said Malfoy Flooed you? She's back in the UK."

"Yeah." I adjusted my glasses. "That's what Robards told me. Didn't know you couldn't do an international Floo call."

"You should take remedial Wizarding or summing like that." Ron tapped his wand on his desk. "Edith, we heard anything from our undercover people?"

"No, boss."

"Damn." He closed the file folder. "I supposed I ought to thank you, Hank. Got me out of that stupid baby class."

As soon as Ron said the word 'class" I immediately thought of Nate with my seventh years. "Oh shit."

Ron gave me an odd look. "Don't worry, Hermione won't do anything to you, she knows what it's like to be married to an Auror."

"It's not that, Ron. I left Nate there with the seventh years. At least Titus was going to go down there."

"Nate? What's your brother doing over here? Is Lavender with him?"

"Yeah, they're both here. Came over early for the anniversary ceremony."

Ron's eyes went wide. "Holy shit, she's planning something for the ceremony, why else would she come back?"

Edith snorted. "Holy shit? You've been hanging around Professor Muggle too long, boss."

"Shut it, Edith. Think about it, Hank…everybody is going to be at Hogwarts."

I looked at him strangely. "Yeah, but Hogwarts has some of the best protection in the magical world, right? That's what you've always told me."

"No, Hank, misdirection. With everybody at Hogwarts everything else will be wide open."

Ron's door opened and a guy walked in with orange spiked hair, a nose ring, black leather everything and red Doc Marten boots. He walked over and sat in Harry's chair and leaned forward to Ron. Before I could say anything he reached into his jacket and pulled out a pair of glasses.

Immediately I began laughing. "Harry, right? Beatrix finally got to turn you punk?"

"Yeah." Harry barely glanced at me, his tone flat and completely business-like. Instead he focused his attention on Ron. "What's going on?"

Ron recounted what I'd told him and his suspicions concerning the anniversary ceremony. Even though I knew it was Harry it was hard to reconcile the Harry Potter I knew with the punk who sat in front of me. Finally Harry stood up.

"I'm going to see Beatrix and then we need to talk to Robards. Hank, you should probably get back to Hogwarts. Safest place for you." He headed towards the door and then looked back at Ron. "I'll meet you in Robards' office as soon as I can."

"That's my cue, then." I stood up and waved off Edith. "I can find my way from here. Y'all will let me know if there's anything I can help with, right?"

Harry and Ron exchanged a quick glance but finally Ron nodded. "We'll let you know, Hank."

* * *

When I got back to Hogwarts I headed up to my room, as classes were over for the day and I really needed to find out what had happened with Nate and the seventh years. It was somewhat comforting to be worrying about what stupid stories my stupid brother told the seventh years instead of worrying about Cassandra Palliurum somehow disrupting things on the day of the anniversary ceremony. On my way up to my room I saw I ran into Carrick Frye, and instead of just saying the usual hallway greetings he held out his hand.

"Nicely done, Professor!"

I shook his hand. "Thanks. What did I do?"

"Uh…never mind. Gotta go." He took off in the opposite direction at a brisk walk.

_What the fuck…Nate_. I took off again towards my room, this time walking much faster. The moment I hit my room I saw Nate sitting in my green chair, reading something.

"Ok, what did you do now? I ran into Carrick Frye in the hallway and he just shook my hand and congratulated me."

"Shit." Nate lowered a book. "Well, I didn't mean to do it."

"Oh, this is off to a good start." I sat down across from him. "What was it? My old girlfriends?"

He leaned back and looked at the ceiling. "I wish it was only that. Melody's going to kill me."

"Fucking hell, Nate. What is it?"

He moved his head back and looked at me, and I could see the disappointment on his face. "I might have let it slip out that you're having a boy."

"Oh." I sat there for a moment. "I was thinking of a lot worse stuff than that."

"They tried to get me to tell them that kind of stuff before Titus showed up. I guess I ruined their pool. They asked me all sorts of questions about family names, and it just kind of came out."

In other situations I might have been somewhat angry at him, but my mind was still mostly on what Draco had told me. "It's ok, just spoiled the surprise a little bit. I'm sure Melody will give you a hard time but I wouldn't worry about it, she'll get over it."

"I wrote her a letter. I had one of your students take it to Lavinia, the girl who's her friend…"

"Ruby."

He nodded. "Right, I don't know how to do the owl thing, so I had them take care of it. Figured I'd better tell your preggo wife before she finds out and blames you." He gave me an odd look. "You're taking this much better than I thought you would. Something at the Ministry?"

I nodded slowly. "Yeah, you can say that. How much do you know about what's going on?"

"Not a ton, but I've got the gist of it. Lavender can only tell me so much. They find the missing professors?"

"No, but they're close to catching the person who we think kidnapped them."

"Holy hell. Does that mean this crap is almost over?"

"I wish, Nate. I wish."

* * *

Nate could tell I was in one of my moods, so he sent an owl to Lavender and she came and got him. I guess that's what happened, as that was his plan and I didn't hear from him again. I expected to get an owl from Melody, especially because Nate had leaked out our news that the bump was actually Hieronymus, but I didn't get anything. Instead I sat in my green chair and felt as if the walls were closing in on me. _Was the long nightmare finally going to come to an end?_

I didn't have time to think on it as I heard a knock on my door. "It's open."

Gavin Titus walked in and sat down across from me. "How are you, Hank? I understand some congratulations are in order, a boy. Carrying on the Boyd name, well done."

"Yeah, thanks, Gavin."

He waited for a minute and then cleared his throat. "Yes, well, thought I should bring you along for the meeting. Did you forget?"

_Meeting? What the fuck was he talking about?_ "Um…what meeting?"

"It's quite all right, Hank, I know you have other things on your mind. The meeting with the other Heads of House to go over the schedule for the anniversary ceremony tomorrow." He stood up. "Come along, shouldn't take very much time."

I went over and picked up a small notebook from my desk, an ink pen and followed him out of my room. If Gavin had told me about the meeting I had completely forgotten it. Maybe Lavinia and Melody had a point about my memory. Was it the first sign of ageing?

Gavin and I were the first ones in his office, but that didn't last long as Cho and Neville joined us shortly. After about ten minutes of aimless chit-chat Boomstraw finally arrived, taking a seat in his usual dramatic fashion. I glanced at him for a moment and remembered my first meeting with him, how I hadn't liked him then and over the years my opinion of the Slytherin Head of House really hadn't changed very much. The only good thing about Boomstraw, in my opinion, was that we were the same height and because he borrowed my formal robes I wore my kilt the first time I really got to know Melody. I was busy reliving that in my head, the Harpies Harem, waking up at Melody's place the next day when Gavin cleared his throat.

"Yes, I believe this shouldn't take too long, just thought we'd run down the final schedule. After breakfast tomorrow I'll send out an announcement that all students need to report to their common rooms for their schedule parchment. As Heads of House you will go over what the schedule is. Now, let me see…" He moved some parchment on his desk until he found the right one. "Here we are. Classes are cancelled tomorrow; the morning is left to each Head of House to determine how to manage their students. After lunch everyone will gather in the Great Hall and at one o'clock sharp we will all proceed to the ceremony grounds, students will walk behind their Heads of House in order of year, starting with the seventh years. Once we are seated the rest of the dignitaries and speakers will take their places on the platform next to the memorial statue. At one forty-five the Minister of Magic will begin his address. After the ceremony concludes the school will be open to any and all who wish to visit the grounds. Students are encouraged to be available to show their families and guests around the school. At five the school will be closed to all but students and staff. A late supper will be served in the Great Hall for those who wish to attend. Students who wish to spend the weekend with their families have already submitted their permission slips."

I glanced over at Neville and Cho but couldn't read anything on their faces.

"Headmaster."

I looked over to see Boomstraw surprisingly looking somewhat, um, human.

"Yes, Professor Boomstraw?" Gavin looked at him with an arched eyebrow.

"I know we have discussed this before, but are you positive that something could not be done to honor Headmaster Snape?"

_Whoa. Now that was surprising. Maybe I'd judged Boomstraw a little too harshly. _I looked over to Snape's portrait but he was not in his frame.

Gavin held up his hand. "I wish there was something official, but I'm afraid the ceremony is in the hands of the Ministry. His name will be read along with the others, though."

I tried to say something to Neville and Cho on the way out but they obviously weren't in a talkative mood. I even wanted to talk to Boomstraw but he did his usual thing, disappearing without talking to anyone he absolutely didn't have to. Before I could even talk to Titus the Floo flared up and I let myself out, as it was someone from the Ministry for the Headmaster. I looked at my notes and decided that there was no better time to inform my Hufflepuff students of the schedule, so I headed down to the Common Room.

After stroking the peach and saying 'Psychocandy' to the door I walked in to the Common Room, surprising absolutely everybody, especially the seventh year couple who were in the midst of trying to see if they could physically stick their lips together permanently. I pretended to ignore the couple and sat down on the top of one of the round tables.

"Ok, can you have everybody come down here?" I looked at several students. "This won't take long, trust me. Oh, and nobody's in trouble."

Several students took off towards the dormitories, and eventually I had my house crowded around me. I ended up standing on a chair so everyone could see.

"Tomorrow is the tenth anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts. This is a big day for all of us, as well as all of the former students who attended Hogwarts, especially those who attended ten years ago. There will also be representatives from the Ministry of Magic among other important places, so we will need to be on our best behavior. The penalties for causing problems will be swift and severe. Trust me; I'm sure Mr. Filch is just hoping someone steps out of line. Classes are canceled for tomorrow…"

The cheers interrupted me, but I motioned with my hands for them to quiet down.

"Yes, I know you're all happy about that, but there's more to it. Headmaster Titus will distribute the schedule to everyone tomorrow, but I thought I would let you know that there's more to it than the ceremony. The grounds will be open for everybody to tour the school before and after the ceremony, so I would suggest making sure your rooms are clean. I would guess that some former students would like to visit their old dorms, so please try to pick up your socks and whatever embarrassing things are currently residing in your spaces. We have the morning off before the official start of things, so I'll be back here in the Common Room tomorrow after breakfast. Since things kick off after lunch, I'm open to suggestions of things we can do as a house here in the common room until then."

A hand went up in the back of the room.

"Yes, in back? This isn't class; you don't have to raise your hand."

Students moved as someone made their way towards the front of the crowd and Franny Ellsworth stepped forward. "Professor, what about games? There's the Muggle board games you have in your classroom. We haven't played those since Muggle Club ages ago."

I nodded. "Good suggestion, but let's not limit it to Muggle games. Exploding snap, wizard's chess, whatever you'd like. Keep in mind, though, this isn't a party. Tomorrow more than any other day we need to remember what happened here ten years ago, how students, some the same age as y'all are now, fought and died to protect the wizarding world from…Tom Riddle, Death Eaters and others like them. It's because of their sacrifices that you are able to attend this school without the threat of violence, or worse. History of Magic seventh years, perhaps you can give some reminder lessons to those who aren't as familiar with the stories as they should be."

That seemed to sink in, as the crowd was very quiet. "Right. I'll leave the rest up to y'all. Remember, there will be some people here tomorrow that will have a hard time seeing things and remembering what happened. There will also be some rather famous people here tomorrow. I expect you to treat them courteously and just like you treat me and the other professors."

After the laughter died I rolled my eyes.

"Ok, not exactly like you treat me, but you know what I mean. That's all I have, thank you for paying attention." I got down from the chair and the crowd began to disperse. Before I could leave the Common Room, though, I was surrounded by several students, all congratulating me on the fact that the bump was actually Hieronymus. I took a look at Lavinia. "So who's the pool winner?"

"Nobody yet." Flora Falkirk leaned over a chair, resting her arms on the back. "That was too easy of a bet, either boy or girl. We're concentrating the action on the date, weight and name."

"Name, huh? Interesting." I adjusted my glasses. "What are the favorites?"

Flora pulled out a piece of parchment from her Charms textbook. "Well, the top one right now is Henry Aaron MacDonald Boyd, Junior, but that one's too easy."

I took the proffered parchment from her and scanned the names. Thomas, Nathanael, Harry…no Hieronymus. I smiled and handed the parchment back to Flora. "Interesting. I'm not going to say anything, of course." I glanced over to Lavinia. "You haven't said anything, have you?"

"Oh, she's useless." Ruby shook her head. "Won't say a word."

Lavinia stuck out her tongue at Ruby and smiled. "Melody said I'd be in big trouble if I said anything."

* * *

When I got back to my room I untied my bowtie, kicked off my shoes and sank into my big green chair. The talk with my Hufflepuffs had driven the point home very clearly; tomorrow was going to be a big day. I glanced at my bookshelf and saw the Potter Adventure Series, the completely inaccurate version of what had happened over ten years ago, and tried to reconcile what had actually happened with the current perception of what had happened at Hogwarts. After cleaning my glasses with the special Perfect Clear charmed cloth that Hermione gave me for Christmas a couple of years ago I took a look at my wardrobe; there, hanging on the door was my black suit. I turned the cloth over in my hands, slowly, and my thoughts turned to Hermione, Ron and Harry. What was tomorrow going to be like for them? For Molly Weasley, George…all of them?

I put my glasses and the cloth on my desk and walked over to my wardrobe. I returned the black suit to its normal spot and pulled out my new Boyd tartan kilt. If there was ever a proper time to wear Balthasar, tomorrow would definitely be it.

A knock on the door stopped me from retrieving Balthasar from his usual spot, and when I opened the door I was surprised to see one of my first year Hufflepuff students.

"Mr. Rutherford, what can I do for you? Come on in."

He shook his head. "It's ok, Professor Muggle. This is for you." He handed me a letter. "Willy told me to bring it."

"Thank you." I took the envelope and looked at him strangely. "Why did Mr. Smythe have you deliver this?"

"Um…" He looked down and shifted his weight back, slightly rocking. "Lavinia usually does your letters from Mrs. Muggle but Willy said he needed to talk to her."

_Interesting_. "Very well, thank you, Billy."

"Ok. Bye."

After I closed the door I chuckled. Melody would love to hear that at least one first year calls her Mrs. Muggle. I opened the envelope and then returned to my green chair.

_Dearest Hank,_

_I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that your mental brother Nate spoiled the surprise in your class today that it's a boy. At least he didn't tell them our name. The good news is that he felt so bad about things that he promised I could take his car out for a drive the next time we visit. _

_Mum and I will be at Hogwarts a little after breakfast, as I figured you will require some help with your students. Lavender and Nate will be over later, but I'm not worried about them. I am worried about you, though. Nate didn't tell me anything but I could tell that there's something going on. He does the same thing you do when you don't want to tell me something. Unlike you I couldn't get it out of him. Hank, promise me you won't do anything stupid. You know Shakespeare, not spells. _

_Lavinia will be with Tinney and Charlie this weekend, as they're coming over for the ceremony. Received her letter this morning, so it will just be us this weekend. _

_Love, _

_Your Melody_

Melody was worried about me, but I was worried about her. The fact that Lane was coming with her was a big flashing neon sign for me, as it said that Lane was worried about Melody coming to Hogwarts for the anniversary ceremony. All of the memories of those bad years at Hogwarts would come back to her, along with the memories of being pulled out for her last year. Her father's death would also be at the forefront of her mind, something that she had dealt with over the years, but the ceremony would bring that back into focus. Then there was Nate and Lavender; the ceremony would definitely remind her of the act that completely changed her life.

I went over to the cabinet and brought out the good scotch, the one that was collecting dust at the back. After uncorking it I poured three fingers into a tumbler. Tomorrow would be hard for everybody. Hopefully Cassandra Palliurum would do everyone a favor and stay the hell away.


	22. Remembrance

**Chapter 22: Remembrance**

I had set the alarm on the magical clock, a Christmas present from Hermione a few years ago, for six o'clock, but I woke up an hour before that. My room was initially very dark, but as I thought about a dimly lit room the lights adjusted themselves accordingly. I swung my legs over the bed, rubbed my stubble and took a deep breath. It was definitely going to be a long and emotional day, that was guaranteed with the ten year anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts, but Ron's theory about Cassandra Palliurum trying to do something while everyone was at the ceremony was still at the forefront of my thoughts.

After making sure the water in the shower was exactly the right temperature I stood in there for the longest time, just letting the water cascade down my head and over my body. Eventually I got around to the process of actually cleaning myself, and after stepping out of the shower and wrapping a towel around my waist I stood at the sink and let the enchanted razor do its part. That out of the way it was time to get dressed, and even though the ceremony was hours away I made the decision to put my Boyd tartan kilt on right away.

I had taken three steps out of the loo when I heard "Hank, we have to do something with your hair."

Melody sat at my desk, wearing a very nice dark blue dress, while Lane Bramble sat in my big green chair, immaculately dressed as always, but with Virgil in her lap.

"Uh, ok, Mel. Hi Lane. One of you two will have to do it; I don't have much luck with the enchanted, charmed or cursed whatever it is that attacks my hair. I usually just one of the house elves take care of it."

Lane smiled. "No wonder it always looks like that."

I opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out.

"Don't worry, Henry, I will take care of it after you've put on some clothing." Lane petted Virgil. "I have not had a Hogwarts breakfast in some time, and I am rather looking forward to it, so please hurry."

I grabbed my kilt and everything else from the closet and got dressed in the loo. I left the jacket and tie for later on, and soon I sat on my desk chair in the middle of the room while Lane stood in front of me with her wand.

"Yes, I think something respectable. Of course, there's not much to work with."

"I know, Lane, I'm going bald, I'm ok with it."

"I'm not." Melody shook her head. "Can't you put more on there, Mum?"

"I'm a witch, Gwennie, not a miracle worker."

The three of us headed down to the Great Hall for breakfast, passing a few students who made comments or gestures approving my kilt. I had bribed Balthasar that he could have bacon at breakfast if he was good, so thankfully he didn't say anything to the students. When we arrived at the Great Hall I could see that the usual house table segregation was nowhere to be found, as Peter sat with Franny at the Hufflepuff table as well as a large portion of my Muggle Club students. They were all very polite as I introduced my mother-in-law, and soon after we were seated Poesy Phillips came over and tapped me on the shoulder.

"Yes, Miss Phillips? You know I haven't had my tea yet."

She nodded. "At the last Muggle Club meeting, you know, the one you told me to run? We came up with something but I forgot to ask you about it."

"Poesy?" I pushed my glasses to the top of my head. "Today of all days…"

"It's not like that, professor. We asked Professor Longbottom to help out, and it's ready for after lunch. I thought that we could do it as Muggle Club, but they voted for me to do it. We want to lay a wreath at the memorial in honor of Charity Burbage."

That took me by complete surprise. Of course I knew of Professor Burbage, and specifically the horrible end she met at the direction of Voldemort. I took a very deep breath. "I believe that's absolutely appropriate, Poesy. Tell Headmaster Titus and Professor Longbottom that you're going to take the wreath down to the seats before the ceremony. Put it by my chair, and when the time comes I'll place the wreath with you."

"Thanks, Professor Muggle." She smiled sadly and walked back to her seat at the end of the table.

"That's quite thoughtful." Lane arched an eyebrow. "If I am not mistaken, isn't that the young lady who…"

"That's her, Mum." Melody nodded. "She's one of Hank's best students now."

I smiled. "You're absolutely right, Mrs. Muggle." I then proceeded to tell Melody and Lane that at least one first year student calls Mel 'Mrs. Muggle" which got a laugh out of some of the students sitting next to us.

During the rest of breakfast I noticed a few adults, mostly parents of students, arrive at the Great Hall and join their children for breakfast. The noise was a low, constant murmur, reflecting the seriousness of the day. Eventually Headmaster Titus made his way to the podium.

"If I may have your attention, please. Students are requested to return to their Common Rooms. Those who are engaged in providing tours may be excused after receiving schedules from their Heads of House. To our guests, welcome and please do not hesitate to tour the grounds. Lunch will be promptly served at noon."

* * *

Lane politely declined my invitation to join us in the Hufflepuff common room, as she wanted to visit her old Ravenclaw rooms, so I asked Poesy to accompany her. As they walked away I shook my head.

"What's wrong, Hank?"

I looked down at Melody. "If you would have told me that first year that Lane and Poesy would be walking along the Hogwarts hallways and nothing bad would happen to me I would have told you that you were crazy."

She slipped her arm into mine. "Things change."

I reached over and patted her belly. "Yes they do, love, yes they do."

Once we entered the Common Room my students were somewhat boisterous, especially the younger ones. When they saw me enter with Melody, though, they eventually quieted down. I held up my hand and got everyone's attention and reiterated my plea from earlier, that everybody clean their rooms and generally make things presentable. Some of the Muggle games were brought out, and I felt somewhat assured that my students would be good at the ceremony. As Ruby and Franny took Melody off of my hands, Flora Falkirk following closely behind, I found myself playing Monopoly with Willy, Lavinia and Simon Ranald, the seventh year Quidditch captain. It was the usual game of Monopoly, as the players got somewhat nasty with each other, trades were made and after a series of ill-advised purchases Willy went bankrupt rather quickly. Lavinia's hotel properties soon claimed all of my money, so it was down to her and Simon. Three rolls later Simon handed Lavinia all of his money, stood up, and shook his head.

I took a quick look at my watch and realized there was about an hour to go before lunch. I tried getting everyone's attention but failed miserably. Melody noticed, though, and took out her wand and held it to her throat.

"Attention everyone!"

"Thanks, love." I stood next to her. "Ok, now that I've got everyone, or most of everyone, we need to get ready, as we'll be leaving for the ceremony directly after lunch. Normal Hogwarts attire, as usual, but please make sure your shirts are all tucked in, buttoned correctly, ties are in their proper place and such. I've got to go to my office for a few minutes, but I'll return shortly and then we'll all go down to lunch together."

"I'll stay here, Hank." Melody patted her stomach. "Someone is finally sleeping and I don't want to disturb him."

"Works for me. Back in a few." I nodded to her and then headed out the door to my room.

On the way through the halls I ran into a man in nicely tailored robes staring at a part of the castle wall. He didn't seem to notice me, but when I got almost next to him he turned, startled.

"Sorry, didn't see you there."

I shook my head. "Not a problem. Something wrong with the wall?"

He took a deep breath. "Last time I was here the wall was gone. Giant, if I remember correctly. Sorry, I'm being rude. Anthony Goldstein."

I shook his hand. "Hank Boyd. I'm the…"

"Muggle Studies professor. That's right, heard about you from Boot."

"You know Terry?" I pushed my glasses onto my head. "What was he like at Hogwarts? I've only known him for a short time. Was he always so intimidating?"

"Terry? Intimidating?" Goldstein laughed. "Not really. Always been a quiet one, though. Had a massive unrequited thing for Hermione Granger. Sorry, Weasley now, isn't it?"

"Yep, it's Weasley. Married Ron."

He didn't say anything for a while and it was awkward. I was about to make an apology and leave when he looked towards the wall again. "It's very odd to be here again, haven't been back since that day. Had to get away, and Africa was definitely away. It's good that there are students here again, house points, Quidditch, all that…but it just doesn't seem real."

"It is real, Mr. Goldstein, it is. And it's because of people such as yourself that it's possible. If you'll excuse me I have to go back to my room for a moment, have to get ready. Students will give me a hard time if I'm late."

He nodded, gave me a half-hearted wave and returned to staring at the wall.

Lunch was a decidedly quiet event. Some more former students had arrived, and while sitting down with Melody and Lane I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up to see Nate standing behind me, but without Lavender.

"Hey bro, where's Lavender? Come on, sit down and have a bite…"

Nate winced.

"Crap, wrong choice of words, sorry. Come on, sit down."

Nate climbed in next to me, made a nominally polite greeting to Melody, nodded to Lane and then took a deep breath. "I don't know if she's coming."

"What do you mean?"

He took a look around the room quickly and then leaned over towards me. His voice was very soft. "They pulled Mike Greene out of that crazy Muggle group early this morning. Guess it was getting too hot or whatever. Lavender got an owl this morning really early; the AAB thinks something's going to happen. I don't know whether it's too overwhelming for her or not but she's throwing herself into work this morning, she left before breakfast. I don't know what to do; what do I say?"

"Dammit." I rubbed my goatee hard. "I don't know, Nate. We're really fish out of water on this one. Just be supportive, I guess. It's going to be a hard day for a lot of people."

Nate just nodded, and when Nonky brought over his lunch he simply nodded. I knew things were bothering him as he didn't say one word about how awesome house elves are, how he and Lavender should get one, things like that. We finished our lunch, and as the clock grew closer to the appointed hour the Great Hall grew quieter and quieter. When Titus stood up at his podium he didn't even have to amplify his voice.

"Students, faculty and staff, the time is at hand. Please line up behind your Head of House, seventh years first. Remember, you are not only representing your houses and Hogwarts, you are representing all of the students that came before you, as well as those who gave their lives so that you might stand here today. Comport yourselves accordingly, as I know you will make me proud."

I told Nate that I would see him later, gave Melody a kiss and placed my hand on Lane's shoulder. She patted my hand, I nodded at her, and I walked off to gather my students for the ceremony.

* * *

As the former students and parents walked past to take their places down at the memorial, I stood facing my students, pleased with what I saw. They were definitely taking things seriously, as older students were helping the younger ones with ties, shepherding them into a straight line, things like that. I took a look at my watch and realized that everything was only minutes away. I glanced over to the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw lines and saw Neville and Cho both standing very straight, looking off into the distance. A look over to the other side surprised me, as Boomstraw had his Slytherins perfectly straight and silent in their rows. Headmaster Titus walked up to the front of the rows, looked each house head in the eye, and simply nodded. He stepped off, and we followed.

The walk down to the memorial was silent, even as the sight of what was arrayed there almost made me say something under my breath. There, spread out in a semi-circle around the memorial were more rows of chair than I had ever seen, as they seemed to stretch out for hundreds of yards. A large platform stood in front of the memorial, chairs arrayed in three rows across the length of the structure. We continued walking until finally we reached the assigned seating area for the students, the chairs in each of the house colors. As my students took their designated seats I waited and watched, glancing over at Cho and Neville occasionally. Once all of the students were seated I sat down in my larger black and gold chair at the same time that Cho, Neville and Boomstraw did.

Then it was the dignitaries that entered, led by Kingsley Shacklebolt. I recognized some of the people, some were complete strangers, but the one person I expected to see on the platform was not there. Harry Potter was not seated amongst the dignitaries, and I figured that he probably had to use Kingsley's influence to keep him off of the dais. For as long as I'd known Harry he didn't like being singled out, he wanted to simply do his job and blend in, which made perfect sense to me. He'd been singled out for all of his life up until the defeat of Voldemort, not always in a good way, and I doubted that he would want to return to that, even if he was one of the main reasons that Voldemort was defeated. Hell, he was more than one of the main reasons, but I knew Harry wouldn't want to reinforce that.

Eventually after everyone had been seated Kingsley stood up and addressed the crowd, his voice amplified so that everyone could hear. He began by introducing the dignitaries that were assembled and at that point I began looking around the crowd, off to the side, to see if I could find my friends. It was mostly curiosity but when I saw Arthur and Molly Weasley sitting next to George and Angelina, that was the part that made my heart leap into my throat. From then on I didn't really comprehend the words that whichever speaker was projecting, as it all sounded like so much white noise.

A tap on my arm brought me back, and I saw Simon Ranald nod his head towards the Ravenclaw seats. Poesy stood up with a very large wreath of beautiful flowers, and I met her at the tops of the rows. Together we silently went forward and placed the wreath at the base of the memorial. As I walked back to my seat I saw Lavender holding hands with Nate behind an older couple who I didn't recognize near the Gryffindor section. After I sat down there were other wreaths laid at the base by different student groups as well as some families, and instead of focusing on the next speaker I found myself transfixed by a camera that sat at the base, in front of all the flowers. It was while wondering about the camera that I saw Neville walk forward and ascend the platform.

He took a deep breath, spread out some parchment on the podium and looked out at the crowd. When he raised his head I could see the calm, resoluteness of his face.

"I am a gardener. I have always been fascinated with the flora and fauna of the world, the magical plants as well as the more mundane. We stand here today on this perfectly manicured lawn next to the Forbidden Forest, on the boundary. Gardening is about boundaries; removing less desirable plants from those that we wish to see grow and mature. I teach students how to best facilitate the growth of plants that are beneficial, how to tend to them, encourage them and ultimately utilize them, whether it be for a potion, a salve or simply for their beauty. Unfortunately, even with the best efforts sometimes plants do not take root, they do not thrive or they simply fail to reach their potential. When that happens we do not give up, we try again, learning from our mistakes."

He glanced out over the silent crowd. I felt myself breathing deeply.

"Even when we do everything right some plants do not last for more than their allotted time. Annuals are plants that only last a single season, but after they are gone we remember them. We remember their beauty, their fragrance, their beneficial uses that help broken bones mend, assist us when we cannot sleep and many more things." He took a deep breath. "The people who gave their lives ten years ago did so to provide a boundary for all of us, the line where the grass meets the Forbidden Forest, the line that keeps the good plants away from the weeds that threaten to overtake the garden, and the line that kept good from evil. They flowered briefly, brilliantly, but were lost to us. But they were not lost forever, because plants have seeds. Seeds that have given root to powerful plants, ones that stand vigilant against the weeds that even now threaten to overtake the gardens that we love so much. When plants die their bodies return to the soil, nurturing the next generation of plants, providing them the sustenance to grow, multiply and prosper, year after year. These are the perennials, plants that return year after year with the proper care. Care for your garden, remember what made it possible, and do everything in your power to ensure that each year the blooms return."

* * *

Apparently Neville was the last speaker of the day, as Kingsley announced that the ceremony was over. I did hear one person ask if Harry was going to address the crowd, but fortunately that was the only voice. Everything that was so orderly on the way in broke up in a very unorganized fashion, as people simply started drifting away from the memorial or in some cases came up to the memorial and gathered with their families. Melody and Lane stood with me and Lavinia, and even though it wasn't during the Battle of Hogwarts we knew that Lavinia was thinking about her parents. She'd kept a brave face, but when her Aunt Tinney walked up with Charlie Weasley, that was when she broke down.

Lavinia was wrapped in Tinney's arms when Charlie stepped over. "We'll take her this weekend."

I nodded. "How you holding up, Charlie?"

He laughed sardonically, reached into his robe, pulled out a pack of French Muggle cigarettes and flipped open the top, revealing four smokes. "It was full this morning."

"Gotcha."

Somehow or other our location became the gathering area for the Weasleys. Molly was still dabbing her eyes when she and Arthur arrived, but when Harry walked over to me rather quickly I knew something was wrong.

"Hank, we need to go now."

I nodded. "I understand. I'll catch you later, Harry."

He shook his head. "No, Hank. We need to go now. You're coming with us."

"I'm sorry, Harry, but I can't leave Hogwarts. Mel can join you, but…"

After taking a deep breath Harry reached out and grabbed the lapel of my jacket. "Hank, Ron was right. We need to go now. Get your equipment and meet me back here as soon as possible."

"Holy shit." I looked over to Mel. "Tell Titus I have to go, he'll know why. Bye, love. I'll be careful." I gave her a quick kiss, ignored her confused look and ran up to the castle, not caring that I was wearing a kilt.

Once I made it up to my room I threw off my jacket, dug into my wardrobe and pulled out my guns. After strapping them on I pulled out some extra clips and stuck them in Balthasar rather roughly, causing him to curse at me, but I had more important things on my mind than an irritated sporran. I was halfway out the door with one arm in my jacket, closing the door with my foot when Melody came around the corner, out of breath and sweaty.

"Henry Aaron MacDonald…"

"I'll be careful, Mel. I will. You and Hieronymus just take it easy."

"You'd better…you, I swear…"

I kissed her quickly and left her standing amongst some students. As I headed down the hall I heard Ruby's voice say 'Hieronymus?'

* * *

Harry, Ron and Lavender met me at the doors of the Great Hall, and in my Ghillie brogues I somewhat skidded to a stop not very gracefully. "Ok, now what? What's going on?"

"Scamander's lot got a tip and it panned out." Harry looked over his shoulder, and shortly thereafter Seamus Finnegan and Terry Boot arrived. "Ok, to the Ministry. We need a portkey to Ireland."

"Edith'll take care of it." Ron's face was grim. "Let's go."

"Problem." Lavender stuck her head around Boot's shoulder. "Floo's disconnected, plus the anti-apparition spells. Security is tighter than ever to keep anyone from coming in. Everything's lifted in another hour or two."

"Bloody hell!" Ron smacked his forehead. "They were counting on it! Where's the closest place we can apparate?"

"Two mile radius around Hogwarts." Terry looked over at me. "How far is your place?"

"Farther than two miles." I shifted my weight back and forth uneasily. "It'll take us forever to run there, and I'm sure as hell not in shape."

"Brooms." Harry's face lit up but just as quickly his expression soured. "Damn, we've even got restrictions on those."

"They're trying to keep us here! Dammit, the protections are the same thing as a bloody cage." Ron turned to me. "At this point I'd even take your bloody car, Hank."

"Your bus is here, Nate drove it up." Lavender turned to me quickly. "It's out by Hagrid's."

"Come on, we can at least take it far enough away to apparate." I began to run down to Hagrid's house, ignoring the surprised looks from everyone. As we made our way down to the van I shouted over to Lavender. "KEYS?"

She shook her head but I ignored it and kept on running. Someone would be able to start the van. Boot, being in damn good shape, soon took the lead, and eventually I was passed by everyone else. When I got to the van Terry had already taken out his wand and started the engine, so I slid in behind the wheel and buckled up. Almost immediately a voice echoed throughout the cabin.

"Congratulations, Professor Muggle! Finally got your magic! Here's a little surprise, courtesy of Arthur Weasley, your brother Nate and the fine folks at Mervin's Magical Modifications, the best Muggle car customizers on the East Coast. Stop by our Maryland Shop for any additional modifications. Press the large red button and enjoy!"

"What the fuck?" I took a look around and there, right in the middle of the steering wheel, was a big red button that said 'Awesome Mode' in big white letters. I pushed the button and the van began to levitate off of the ground several feet.

"Look, Hank!" Ron sat in the passenger seat and pointed towards the windshield. A semi-transparent map displayed on the windshield, our location noted by a large red dot. "Do something!"

"Right, um, Harry, what's the name of that Irish village?" After he yelled it out over the sound of the engine and the air rushing through the open windows the van turned, pointed it's front end up higher, and we headed out over the trees.

"Flying car, bet they didn't think of that one!" Ron shook his head and took out his wand. He glanced over his shoulder to Lavender. "Tell your husband he did a good job on this one. Ok, Boot, what are we flying into?"

In my rear view mirror I saw Terry lean over the last row of seats. "We're flying into a mess, that's what. WLF is on the scene, as well as WHAM. We also believe that the Wand Children will also be in the area. Rolf said Malfoy is there as well, as we believe that Cassandra Palliurum coordinated everything."

"Bloody hell!" Seamus stuck his head up by my seat. "How fast are we…"

'Fast. Sit down and hang on, Seamus. We'll be there soon." Lavender tied back her hair. "Harry, what's the plan?"

Harry looked at her for a moment. "Uh, Ron?"

"No clue." Ron took a deep breath. "This is bad business; we're going in blind except for what Boot's told us. We'll make it up as we go."

I didn't have to steer but I held on to the wheel as if my life depended on it. When I felt the car speed up after I touched the gas pedal, though, I had an idea. "Hang on, I'm going to floor it."

The van seemed to stop for a split-second, but then smoke poured out behind us and the trees and the landscape seemed to shoot by at an alarming rate. I watched our dot on the GPS thingy on the windshield grow closer to the blue dot that was our destination, but over the air whipping through the van I could hear the engine start to make a funny noise, somewhat of an intermittent clunk that was faint at first, but then began to grow louder and more frequent.

"I think your car's dying!" Seamus yelled from the back. "Get us down!"

I looked over my shoulder briefly. "We're almost there. Look, we're descending." The trees began to grow larger and I looked at Ron. "You've got to have more than just to wing it, you're an Auror!"

"Trust me, this wasn't in the training." He looked over to Harry. "Ready?"

Harry straightened his glasses and put up the hood on his robe. "Yeah."

We came in over the hills, low and fast, and I actually steered somewhat to avoid the green and red jets of light that shot up at us from the ground. I saw the burned out house from months ago, but this time there were shapes behind it wearing robes. Our touchdown was bumpy, to say the least, and I put both of my feet on the brake and stood on it hard, bringing us to an abrupt stop about twenty yards from the house. Before anyone could say a word the window next to Seamus' head exploded, showering glass everywhere. All of us ducked and went as low as we could, but I could hear Boot's voice plain as day.

"That wasn't a spell. That was a bullet."

The van was eerily silent as things erupted all around us, yells and gunshots. Finally Boot's voice broke the silence.

"Hank's side. Now."

I opened the door and tried to roll out, only to be held in by my seat belt. After quickly unbuckling it I dove out onto the ground and did my best army movie crawl to get away from the van slightly. Soon everyone else was out of the van and quickly huddled around. Ron took a look and popped his head back down. "Auror robes are behind the house. I think that's our best bet."

A silvery semi-transparent warthog appeared in our midst, and Robards' voice erupted. "GET YOUR ARSES BACK BEHIND THE HOUSE!"

We scrambled behind the house to find Robards and several other Aurors, all of them disheveled, sweaty and in Robards' case, furious.

"WE'VE GOT A BLOODY MUGGLE GROUP OUT THERE TRYING TO KILL US AND YOU SHOW UP IN A GODDAMNED FLYING VAN? WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?" He shook his head at us and pointed his wand at me. "I OUGHT TO BODYBIND YOU RIGHT NOW BUT I NEED YOUR SORRY ARSE!"

Ron waved him off. "Only way we could get here, what's the situation?'

A thin, mousy looking kid who looked about a year out of Hogwarts pointed to the ground, where he drew in the ashes with his wand. "We're here. Over there is the WLF, and there's a lot of them. On the other side is what we think are the WHAM bunch, and they're using Muggle weapons. Here's the Wand Children, and they were just observers for a while until the WLF started in on them, and now they're fighting back. We're here, stuck in the middle of everything. Twenty Aurors are on the scene and more are coming. Somebody saw Rolf Scamander at one point, but as always we don't have a clue what the Invisibles are up to."

"Wonderful." Ron looked over to Robards. "Advance teams?" Before Robards could answer he looked at us. "Right. Lavender, Seamus, take the Wand Children. Harry 'n me will take the WLF. Boot?"

"Professor and I will take WHAM. Come on, Hank, let's go."

"BOYD!" Robards shook his wand at me again. "You're not a bloody Auror. They're not handing out detentions."

"Yeah." I nodded. "But this time I can fight back."


	23. Wand Children, WHAM and the WLF, Oh My

**Chapter 23: Wand Children, WHAM and the WLF, Oh My**

A bullet went by, an eerie whistling sound way too close to our heads, and the noise made everyone duck. Ron Weasley looked over at me and snorted. "You can fight back? You've been watching too many of those Muggle movies. Let the Aurors take this one."

"Why the hell am I here, anyway? Besides the van?" I looked over to Robards. "Come on!"

"Malfoy." Robards poked his head around the corner of the house that was still partially upright and pulled it back in again quickly as a jet of green light sped by. "Said you were the key for Miss Gradenko. Didn't expect everyone to show up, though. Now move!"

I threw off my jacket, pulled out my guns and followed Boot as closely as possible towards the only cover that I could see, a somewhat decent sized rock that was in front of the stumpy hill that the gunfire was coming from. As I got as low as possible and put my back against the rock I looked over to Terry, and he seemed as cool as ever, just like someone was throwing snowballs or cotton balls instead of trying to kill us.

"Ten, maybe twelve."

"What?" I looked over at him. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Approximately ten to twelve soft targets. Handguns, one rifle. No training."

"Wonderful. So what the hell do we do now?'

"Cover me." He stood up abruptly and fired several shots towards our attackers and took off at a slow jog.

"Fuck me." I stood up and started showering the hillside with bullets, causing the other side to slow their fire, but off to the right I saw someone stand up with a rifle or shotgun or something, so I swung to that area and sent off some bullets. The person disappeared immediately, and when I turned back Terry was over the hill. The gunshots ceased straight away, and I stood there for a bit trying to figure out what was happening when I saw red sparks go up into the air.

I looked around for a moment, saw the flashes of light where the Aurors were engaged on two other fronts and decided to chance it. I ran up the hill, slipping twice as my ghillie brogues were definitely not hiking boots, and eventually made it up the hill. After coming over the crest I saw multiple people, dressed in Muggle clothing, prone on the ground and covered in that silvery rope stuff that Aurors cast to bind people. Like Rolf had done before, almost all of them had their eyes and lips sealed as if their flesh had knitted itself up, leaving only their nostrils open to allow them to breathe.

"Jesus, Boot. That's hardcore."

He shook his head. "Too easy. Something's wrong."

"Uhhh…shit. Hey, I think I might have shot someone over there." I motioned to where the guy with the not-handgun had been. "I'll check it out."

"No. Stay here." Terry took out his wand. "Anything else happens, shoot them."

As Boot took off I looked at the bodies on the ground. "You heard him, anything happens and I'll shoot you." I saw one man squirm slightly, but the silvery ropes held him fast.

For the next ten or fifteen minutes or God knows how long I watched lights flash in the other spots. I was concentrating on the action, not sure of who was who, when Boot arrived levitating a man in front of him. He deposited the man onto the ground, but unlike the other Muggles he was still awake and had full use of his eyes and lips.

Terry pushed him up into a seated position, glanced at me and then turned back to the bound man. "Right. Everything. Now."

"Piss off, I ain't tellin' you…"

Terry pressed his hand to the man's shoulder, and I noticed that the area was damp with blood. The man groaned horribly. After removing his hand Terry wiped the blood off of his hand on the man's jacket. "Everything. Now."

I grabbed Terry's arm and pulled him down so I could whisper. "Is he going to be ok?"

Terry nodded. "Flesh wound, shoulder. Not fatal."

The man shook his head. "You can torture me all ya want, I'm not saying anything. She said you'd try to do this."

"Let me take a bite outta him." Balthasar growled.

I put my hand on top of my sporran. "Not now, stay quiet."

That seemed to have been the trick, as the man's eyes went wide. "Jesus, Mary and Joseph! She'll do me like the others, but I'm not letting that thing bite me. Name's Grosse, Wilbur Grosse, and she promised us magic. Said we'd have to take it, that you lot would try to keep us from it. Said once we got your wands we'd get our magic, and then we'd show the world you really exist."

"Miss Gradenko?" I looked at the man intently. "She promised you magic?"

He nodded. "Found our group, dunno how, came to one of the meetings. Said she could prove magic is real, showed us a wand and did some tricks. It was ok at first, but then there were the kidnappings, some of our members went missing, heard they'd been captured by you lot."

I went to say something but Boot shook his head at me.

"Go on." Terry tapped his wand on his thigh. "What else?"

"Said that today was the day we'd get our magic, but we'd have to fight for it. Gave us guns and told us to show up here, so we did. When we got here there was a bunch of crazy bastards down there by the house, weird fellers with shaved heads and tattoos, an' as soon as they saw us they started shootin' off magic, almost killed Barney, his legs gave out. We drug him up here, and then more and more weirdoes showed up and they all started fightin' with each other." He groaned. "You can't leave me like this, I'm gonna bleed to death!"

"No." Boot waved his wand, the man twitched slightly and then his face did the whole knit-together bit.

"Sonovabitch, now what?" I looked over at Terry. "What do we do now?"

He looked out over the hill towards the house. "I suggest you ask Weasley."

I followed his lead, took a look and saw Ron Weasley standing by the burnt out house, waving us down. As I walked over to Ron I passed my van; it looked like it had been used as target practice, as all the windows were gone, two of the tires were flat and smoke crept out of the engine compartment.

"Holy shit, my van…"

"Bugger your van, Hank. What happened up there?"

I told Ron what transpired, how I covered Terry and he captured everyone and did the whole Invisibles thing with their faces, but it was only when I recounted what Wilbur Grosse had talked about that Ron's face shifted into a mask of anger.

"That bloody bitch set everyone up. Everyone."

I pushed my glasses to the top of my head. "What are you talking about?"

"Not now, Weasley." Robards walked over, wiping the sweat from his head with the sleeve of his robe. "Still have work to do. Later."

I looked over to where the other fighting had been taking place and saw Lavender walking with a man in front of her, a man with a shaved head and tattoos. "Is that the Knights of the Wand? Over here?"

Robards nodded. "Them and the WLF. Most of them got away but we have a few of them." He pointed to the other direction. "Wand Children. Mostly harmless, nutters actually, but they were fighting with the WLF when we got here. Not many of them left."

The silvery form of a stag bounded towards us and spoke in Harry's voice. "Malfoy has her. Going to the Ministry."

"FINNEGAN! GET ALL OF THEM READY FOR TRANSPORT!" Robards took a deep breath and looked over to Ron. "Time to get some bloody answers!"

* * *

After I arrived at the Ministry via side-along with Ron I took a look at my watch. "Holy hell, it's half four?"

Ron nodded. "Now you know why I hear about it from Hermione. Always takes longer than you think."

We walked through the halls until we stopped at a small filing cabinet. Ron tapped it on the top with his wand and it slid aside, revealing a small, thin door. When Ron put his hand on the doorknob the door expanded to a regular sized doorway, and I followed him inside.

Instead of the pleasant room where I spoke to Lene Nordquip the room was the polar opposite; dimly lit except for the table, sparsely decorated and somewhat cold. At the table sat a woman with her hands bound together, and instead of looking angry she seemed triumphant. _So this was Cassandra Palliurum, Miss Gradenko?_ I followed Ron over to the table and sat down next to Harry and Draco, while Robards stood off a little ways to the side. Edith and another witch sat on the other side, parchment and quills at the ready.

"Ah, finally we meet, Professor. I am one of your biggest fans." The woman smiled at me as I sat down. "Very entertaining books, all of them."

"Um, thanks, I think." I scratched my head for a moment. "Should I call you Cassandra or Miss Gradenko?"

"Cassandra, please. I never much cared for that album except for that song."

"Good to know." I looked over to Ron and he just raised an eyebrow. Draco, however, leaned forward on the table.

"Miss Palliurum, I believe we know a great deal about your activities, but let me recount the details in the event that something has been omitted. You were raised as a Muggle by your parents, even though your name was down at Bródúil. At a certain point in time you discovered your magical lineage, specifically that you are related to the Malfoys, or more precisely the Malfois. You have a somewhat, shall we say, embarrassing Muggle arrest record, however none of the charges were ever acted upon as the evidence disappeared. Recently, however, you've become increasingly active in regards to the kidnapping of several Muggle Studies professors in the UMS and Canada. It is obvious from your greeting that you are familiar with the works of Professor Boyd, and based on the evidence you are also familiar with Muggle music."

"Oh yes, all of that is true. Shall I give you everything? Why not, I've always loved this part of the movie." Her eyes were shining and wide, and she gave Draco a manic smile. "Let's start with the basics. My real name is Irene Adler and I live at 221 B Baker Street."

I turned to Edith. "That's not true." Edith crossed out the line on her parchment and I turned to Cassandra. "You know they have ways to make you tell the truth."

A worried look flashed upon her face for a second, but she reverted back to her previous state. "Oh, all right then. You can't stop it. I've set it all in motion and you can't stop it. Everything will change!"

"Sounds like you've got it all planned out." Ron tapped his fingers on the table. "Try me."

"I thought it was one or the other, either the Muggles or magic, but Professor Muggle's books showed me the way. I can do both! Why destroy only one world when I can destroy all of them! You wizards, keeping your secrets, never letting the past die. My parents had nothing to do with the Bon Charme or what happened at Bonsang House, but they were so ashamed of their heritage that they hid it from me. Do you know what it's like thinking that you're insane? Doing magic and not knowing what it is? And the Muggles, they never trusted me, they always thought I was crazy, the weird one. I'm going to make everyone pay. The WLF and those skinhead bastards were easy. Told them my story, how I wanted to get rid of all the Muggles and they were so eager to believe. Those WHAM idiots? Even easier. Did a few small things with my wand and they were all so ready to do what I told them if they could have magic in the end."

"What about the Wand Children?"

She looked me in the eye. "The stupidest people on the planet. Let's live in peace and harmony, all at the same time? Bullshit. Too idiotic to live."

"So you arranged for all of the groups to appear at the same place at the same time, coincidentally the anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts." Draco leaned forward. "What did you achieve by their convergence?"

She shook her head. "You really don't get it, and you're a Malfoy."

"I do." Ron sat back in his chair. "You used the WHAM lot to do your dirty work when you captured the Muggle Studies professors. Bump them up against the WLF and the WHAM group goes away, because you know the WLF will take out any Muggles when they get the chance. Wand Children are there to report on things, to witness it, and maybe a few of them get taken out in the process. We're there to clean up the mess, but you knew we couldn't contain everything. Big thing, though, is now you've got the WLF riled up, thinking that Muggles are coming for them with guns."

She put her elbows on the table and propped her chin up with her bound hands. "Exactly, red. We've crossed the Rubicon."

I caught Ron's eye and answered the unspoken question. "Literary allusion, Ron. Point of no return."

Cassandra laughed, and the sound was unsettling. "Haddingspot will be furious. He'll plan something, I know it. Used to tell me all sorts of crazy things at night, right before we went to sleep. You know, I think I'll do that now. I'm pretty tired. Busy day." She closed her eyes tightly.

I looked over to Ron. "What the fuck?"

Ron reached across the table and shook her, but to no avail. "Bloody hell, she's really asleep or damn good at faking."

Draco got up from his chair, moved over to her and lifted up her face; he opened her eyelids, glanced at her eye and then let her head fall to the table where it made a very large thump. "We won't get anything out of her for quite a while. This is a different magic, one that I learned on my sojourns through New Orleans and the immediate area."

"Voodoo?" I let out a small, sarcastic laugh. "That's just movie crap."

"No, Hank, it is not, but it is dissimilar from what we recognize about the customary portrayal of voodoo. It is an old, dark magic, and regrettably we do not comprehend it very well as its practices are purposely concealed."

"Shit." I looked over to Ron. "I hoped that whenever we caught her it would be the end of everything."

Draco shook his head. "I am afraid this might be the beginning."

* * *

As we all sat in Robards' office I took a look down at my kilt and realized it was filthy. It had dirt, grass stains and blood on it, definitely not what I'd hoped it would look like after wearing it once. While inspecting my kilt Robards cleared his throat, causing everyone to look over to him.

"Right. We've got the big fish, but we still need to find those missing professors. Boot, anything else from your boss?"

Terry stood against the wall, arms folded over his chest, and as usual he didn't say anything.

"Wonderful." Robards turned to me and then looked to Lavender. "Take the professor back to Hogwarts. I'll contact the AAB and let them know what happened; maybe they've got something that will help us out with Cassandra Gradenko or whatever the hell her name is. Malfoy, I'm going to need to know everything, and I mean everything. Weasley, better get a bite to eat, we're going to be here a while. Potter, Finnegan, go get some sleep, you're going to need it."

Lavender stood up and tapped me on the shoulder. "Come on, can't wait to tell Nate about the van."

"My van!" I looked over to Robards. "What happened to it?"

'I'VE GOT MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO THINK ABOUT THAN YOUR BLOODY VAN! GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE I HAVE IT DROPPED ON YOUR THICK HEAD!"

I rolled my eyes and followed Lavender out of the office. "If he yells it means he likes you, right?"

She shrugged. "I guess. Come on, I have a feeling they're going to have a lot of questions for us when…"

"Hold up, forgot." Ron stuck his head out of the office. "Not a word to anybody about what happened, got it?"

I looked over to Lavender. "That answers that question."

Lavender took a look at her watch. "Still have about a half hour to go before the restrictions are lifted. Unless you want to go to Colony House first?"

"Sure. Hopefully Mel's there. If not we can take the Morris."

"Um, no thank you." She shook her head. "I'll wait and Apparate before I ride in that little tin box."

"Car snob."

"Muggle."

"Bite me, I'm 1.3% wizard." I cringed as I realized what I'd said. "Shit. Sorry."

"You probably taste horrible. Merlin knows you smell horrible right now." She winked at me and grabbed my arm. "Come on, I'm sure Melody is wound up."

We arrived outside of Colony House and had just opened the door when my mother-in-law stood in front of me angrily. Instead of saying something, though, she just looked at me with her lips pursed and her face grew redder by the second.

"Henry! I expected more out of you. You just left my daughter, your pregnant wife, I might add, and went off with the Aurors when you can't do anything with that wand of yours."

"Um, I can make a little fire…"

"Shut up. I've held my tongue for far too long. What do you think you're doing? What would happen to Melody and the baby if something horrible happened? Did you think of that? We've been worried sick, in Melody's case literally…"

"That was the fish, Mum." Melody appeared at her mother's side and gave me a 'sorry' smile.

"Quiet, Gwennie. Worried sick, Henry. And look at you! You're filthy, you're wearing those horrible guns Gwennie told me about, and…is that blood?"

"It's not mine, I think it's the guy's I shot." I saw Melody's eyes go wide. "It's fine, really, it's fine. Can I come into my own house?"

Nate's head popped around the corner. "Dude, you look like shit."

"If you think he's bad you should see the van." Lavender squeezed through the doorway, causing Lane to move aside which gave me the opportunity that I was looking for.

I walked in, went to the cabinet and took out a bottle of bourbon. I held up my hand to stop the questions, and thankfully it actually worked. After a good, long pull off of the bottle I turned to face my angry mother-in-law. "First, I can't really tell you anything, Auror stuff, Robards would kill me and we've already discussed how bad that would be, plus it would probably hurt a lot. Second, I need a shower for obvious reasons. Third, my awesome Volkswagen is now a hunk of junk, so I'm not in the best mood. I'm safe, I'm fine, and if you want to know why I had to go ask Draco Malfoy, but I doubt he's going to give you an answer. Now, since we've all established that I'm fine, that Melody's fine except for what sounds like some dodgy fish, I'm going to get cleaned up. Good? Good."

Without waiting for a response I went into the bedroom, stripped off everything and went into the bathroom. After finally getting the water the right temperature I stood there for a while and let the water run down my back. I stayed that way until I heard the door open.

"Hank?"

"Sorry I yelled at your mom, Mel." I peeked around the shower curtain and saw her sitting on the toilet. "I didn't mean to, but it was crazy. Can't tell you, sorry."

After a long pause she pulled back the shower curtain and looked at me. "Do you know why Mum went a little mental, Hank? Dad. She knows what it's like to have her husband leave and never come back home. She did fairly well at the ceremony, up until Neville's speech, and then she lost it. I've spent the entire time since you've been gone keeping her from going up to Kingsley Shacklebolt and reading him the riot act. She'd do it, too, you know."

"No doubt there."

"You do need to think about things differently, Hank. We're going to be parents, and soon. We can't have you running off like an Auror when, well…"

"When I'm not an Auror." I sighed. "I get it, I do. But I feel partly responsible for a lot of the stuff that's happening, and it sucks because I can't tell you. Not right now."

"I know, but it doesn't make it any easier. Now get cleaned up and come on out when you can, I'll try to tidy up your kilt."

As I soaped up I thought about Hieronymus Bramble, and how his death must have affected Lane. Her anger made perfect sense; she didn't want the same thing to happen to Melody. The craziness in Ireland made me forget what day it was, what had happened ten years before, and most importantly how it affected everyone. After getting out and throwing on some clothes I walked into the living room to find Nate and Lane sitting on the sofa talking.

"Lane, everybody? I'm sorry. I realize that, today of all days, I need to think about things differently. I will do that, I promise."

Lane looked at me, and even though she still seemed angry, she nodded. Nate, though, well, he's Nate.

"So this is the second car I've bought for you and you trashed it, too. At least you got to find out about the custom work. You can buy your own cars from her on out."

Lavender looked out the kitchen window. "Maybe not. Someone just delivered your van. It's in the garden."

* * *

Lane left first, and then Nate and Lavender went to visit her parents again. According to Melody the ceremony helped give the Browns some perspective, as they insisted that my brother and his wife come over for supper. Melody and I sat on the sofa, flipping through the channels on television when the Floo came on.

"Sorry to interrupt." The green-flamed head of Ginny Potter bobbed in our fireplace. "I know it's rude, but would you mind if we came over for a bit? I have Chinese takeaway."

Melody looked at me and I shrugged. "Sure, Ginny. Hank and I are just watching television."

A few minutes later all of the Potters appeared at Colony House. Ginny held Albus while James held on to Harry's hand. Ginny stepped out of the fireplace wearing a tattered hooded sweatshirt, looking frazzled.

"So sorry, but I just really needed to get out of Grimmauld." She gave Harry a quick glance. "Someday we're going to live someplace else."

I saw Harry raise an eyebrow as he let loose of James' hand and walked over to the kitchen to put down the bags of Chinese food. I put my glasses on the top of my head. "No problem, Ginny. We're just watching TV. I can put on a DVD for the boys. Let me go help Harry with the food."

When I entered the kitchen Harry almost had all of the little boxes out of the bags except one, so I unloaded it. "So what's up, Harry? I'm glad you stopped over, actually, but there's more to it, isn't there?"

He glanced towards the living room and nodded. "Thought you might be in a bit of a fix. Ginny said Lane was really upset after we left."

"That's an understatement. Got the lecture on how I'm an irresponsible father and he's not even here yet." I let out a big sigh. "So can you tell me anything else? What happened after I left?"

"You know Robards sent me home, but Ron stopped over after he left the Ministry. Palliurum woke up after about an hour, and then she wasn't very happy that you weren't there. Actually spit in Malfoy's face."

"Holy shit. So now what? Oh, hey, what about Mike Greene and your cousin? I know Mike got out before the big fight, but what about your cousin?"

"Dudley's fine. He helped tip us off that something was going to happen, got that message almost at the same time we got Malfoy's."

"Good, good. I do have a question, though. What the hell am I going to say to my students? They all saw me leave with y'all in my van. And _The Prophet_ had reporters and photographers there, is it going to make the paper?"

"Yeah. Yeah, it is." Harry nodded towards the living room. "Come on, we'd better get out there soon. Ginny's starving, and she gets incredibly cranky lately when she's hungry."

For the rest of the evening we just hung out with the Potters, and it was a pretty quiet evening, all things considered. Even though the Irish debacle had just taken place I knew that the day was weighing heavily on Harry. Several times someone would say something to him and it didn't seem to register, he just watched the DVD as if staring through the television. It was when James tried to ride Spit that he finally seemed to break out of his reverie, as our dog put up a fuss and half-dragged James through the living room.

"See what you get to look forward to?" Ginny shook a finger at me. "And I only have two right now; can't imagine what it will be like when we add this one." She patted her stomach. "This one better be a girl, or I'm handing them all off to my mum and going to Ibiza for a year."

I rocked in my chair with a sleeping Albus in my arms. "It can't be that bad, I mean, your parents had six boys." As soon as it was out of my mouth I mentally kicked myself. The anniversary of Fred's death and I had to bring it up again. "I'm sorry, Ginny. I can't say anything right today, obviously."

She gave me a small smile. "It's ok, Hank. I know Fred would have a large laugh at the boys, especially James when he's naughty. Genetic, I believe."

"Maybe I'll retire by the time James hits Hogwarts." I took a sip of butterbeer. "I mean, if we're talking about genetic predisposition, he'll probably get detention the first day."

"And yours will probably come out cursing." Harry laughed at me. "Just wait, he'll be a handful. Your language, Melody's temper…"

"My what?" Mel cocked her head at Harry. "Perhaps you'd like to re-evaluate that statement?"

I put my hand on Melody's leg. "Just say Hieronymus, Harry. I think that ship's sailed now as well. I slipped when I said goodbye to Mel and I think Ruby overheard me."

Harry nodded. "Yeah, speaking about letting things slip, you probably need to figure out what you're going to tell your students about what happened today. I think the best thing would be to tell them you had to help the Aurors and leave it at that."

"True." I rubbed my beard. "I should probably tell the girls if they ask me any more questions Miranda Fleming will be assigned back to Hogwarts."

Mel shook her head. "If you do that the boys will make sure it happens."

* * *

Saturday morning went by somewhat quietly, only interrupted by a visit from my mother-in-law. Mel invited her over, and we had a nice dinner where I probably apologized about twenty times. I think she finally understood my motivation when I told her that I had to do whatever I could to make a safe future for my family, especially as I was a target of sorts. Obviously it wasn't a new explanation, but it seemed to register better since I wasn't wearing guns and a kilt with blood on it.

After Lane left I thought I would finally get a bit of time to rest, and more importantly, to take care of Mel. I started fixing something to eat for lunch with what we had in the kitchen, an odd assortment of things that were supposedly good for pregnant witches, when I heard Mel talking to someone on the Floo. A few minutes later I heard distinct sounds of someone arriving by Floo, which didn't make me very happy. I was hoping for a nice, quiet afternoon and evening with just my wife, but someone was spoiling it.

"Hank, we've got company." Mel walked in and stood in the doorway, smiling. "Don't give me that face, I'm sure you won't mind."

The voice behind Melody was instantly recognizable. "Especially because I brought food and, more importantly, music!"

"Penny! Come on in! What'd you bring this time?" I put the potatoes back into the bowl and wiped my hands on a towel. There, behind Mel, was her good friend Penny, and my magical musical geek friend. She sat the bags of takeaway on the table and gave me a hug.

"Indian food. Fancy a curry?"

I made a face. "Uh, sorry, no. Doesn't agree with me. You two can have all you want, I'll make a pizza."

"Oh, that sounds good." Mel nodded at Penny. "Hank's pizzas are wonderful."

Penny patted Mel's belly and laughed. "Pizza and curry? You're a cliché, you are."

From there on it was actually a fairly enjoyable afternoon and evening. Penny wasn't able to attend the ceremony, as her new band, Dementor Dad, had played in Warsaw at a festival and she wasn't able to get away. Mel and I filled her in during lunch, and even though it was going to be common knowledge soon, as I knew _The Prophet_ would publish something, we omitted telling her about what happened at the end of the ceremony. Luckily when Mel announced that she needed a nap it wasn't uncomfortable, as Penny and I got a chance to indulge in our music geekiness. We went into my office, shut the door and Penny took out her wand and did a silencing charm that allowed us to play music as loudly as we wanted without disturbing Mel.

After our usual tradition, spinning Penny around with her eyes closed until she was dizzy so she could pick out an album at random, I put on an old New Order album and sat down in one of the big leather chairs across from Penny. She took out her wand, opened the window and threw me a pack of cigarettes that I'd never seen before.

"They're Croatian. Got 'em from Gideon Crumb at the festival in Warsaw. Said to pass 'em along to you."

I started to light one and then stopped. "Wait, you're telling me that the bagpipe player from The Weird Sisters knows who I am?"

Penny nodded. "He's read your book, the one where you talk about being a Muggle. We got to talking since Bes and the Bogi were late running long, as usual, and Muggle music came up. I told him you have the best Muggle music collection I've ever seen. If you don't watch it you might end up with Gid or the rest of the band turning up on your doorstep one day asking to borrow some things."

"Holy shit." I took a drag off of the cigarette and coughed a bit. "Kinda harsh."

"Yeah, Gid said they're an acquired taste. You're going to have to quit soon, you know. The wee one."

I nodded. "True. Still can't believe that's happening, even though it's pretty obvious from Mel's belly."

"Not to mention her eating habits. Merlin, she can pack it away! Don't tell her I said that."

I laughed. "No problem, Penny. So how's the band going? New album out soon?"

She made a face and leaned back in the chair, her multitude of bracelets jangling as she moved her arms. "I don't know. I think Penny and the Squibs might be at a crossroads. We're not selling like we used to, thanks to the damn Muggles."

"What? The Muggles? I don't get it, how can…"

She waved me off. "Not Muggles Muggles, it's a band. Call themselves The Muggles. Bunch of teenaged wizard boys, hardly any talent, put together by a manager. They sing songs about Muggle stuff, lots of fancy dance moves, shite like that. Surprised your students haven't said anything to you about them."

"Well, I've been trying to introduce them to real Muggle music." I took a drag off the cigarette, not as deep as previously. "The Muggles…sounds like The Monkees."

Penny shook her head. "Nah, they're real boys all right, not animals."

"The Animals are a different thing altogether, and the band was called The Monkees."

"Put 'em on next. If we don't get to it today I'll have plenty of time after the wee one's here. Did Melody tell you I'm coming in for a week or so to London after she gets here?"

I shook my head. "No, but you're always welcome, you know that. Ok, don't tell Mel I told you, and act all surprised when she does, but it's a boy. We're naming him Hieronymus after her father."

"Oh Merlin, Melody's having a boy. This ought to be interesting. What were the other names?"

"Well, she shot down Joseph Strummer Boyd right off the bat."

Penny laughed. "Typical. No sense of history."

The door opened and Melody didn't look happy. "I've been calling for you for ages. Hank! Why are you smoking?"

I pointed to Penny, and she winked at me, looked up at Melody and just smiled.

* * *

Sunday, as expected, was a problem. I wondered why Saturday's _Daily Prophet _had not covered the Irish thing on Saturday and chalked it up to Kingsley exerting his influence as Minister of Magic, but Sunday's edition more than made up for it. AURORS FLEE CEREMONY IN MUGGLE MOBILE! MINISTRY HIDING TRUTH FROM CITIZENS!

I picked up the paper and shut my eyes. "Fucking hell. MEL!"

She walked into the kitchen quickly. "What's wrong?"

"This." I held up the paper and it's rather large headlines.

"Bloody hell, give me that." I handed her the paper and she scanned it briefly. "Prunella Devore, I should have known. She's horrible, has been for years." She gave me back the paper. "I can guarantee that her article will contain some wild conspiracy that the Ministry is hiding all manner of things from everyone. She's been on that angle since…well, since Kingsley became Minister. Don't bother reading it."

The Floo roared to life and Ron's head appeared in the green flames. "Morning, Boyds. I take it you've seen the paper. Sorry, Mel, but we need to borrow Hank again."

I gave her a 'sorry, love' look and she shook her head. "Ron Weasley, if you…"

"Just at the Ministry, Mel, that's it. No place else. Hermione said you could come over for breakfast if you'd like."

"Just meet you at the office, Ron?" I watched him nod and disappear from the fireplace. I didn't want to look at Mel but I snuck a glance, and surprisingly she didn't seem angry. "It won't be long, hopefully, and we're just going to be in London…"

"Go, just go. At least I'm getting breakfast out of this fiasco."


	24. David Copperfield Crap

**Chapter 24: David Copperfield Crap**

I threw on some clothes and then took the Floo over to the Ministry; luckily Ron and Harry were having a cup of tea by the Auror entrance, so I didn't have to go looking for them.

"So much for keeping things quiet, eh?" Harry took the paper and tossed it in a rubbish bin. "I would recycle that but at this point I don't think it's possible."

As Ron and I looked at each other, confused, Harry took pity on us.

"It would have to be recyclable, not garbage…never mind. Let's go."

I followed the Aurors down the hallway until we finally reached our destination, the interrogation room where we had previously spoken to Cassandra Palliurum. The Auror guarding the door nodded at us, waved his wand at the door, and soon we all walked inside. A young Auror who I didn't know was sitting at the end of the table alongside Edith, and Robards sat looking rather bored across from Cassandra. She was busy reading a book and didn't look up when we entered. Surprisingly her hands were not bound, and a cup of tea sat in front of her. She sat the book down and looked over at us.

"Well, it seems you finally realized I'm not talking to you idiots and brought Professor Muggle. Mr. Boyd, how are you this morning?"

I pulled out a chair and sat down. "I've had better, I've had worse. What are you reading?"

"Nathanael West. I find 'The Day of the Locust' so much more interesting these days."

I nodded. "Always liked him, even though it's definitely not the cheeriest of material. So, Miss Palliurum, what…"

"Cassandra, please. Did you bring your materials?"

"What?" I looked at her, and then looked over to Ron, who just shrugged. "I don't understand."

Cassandra looked perturbed. She sat back, haughtily tossed her hair over her shoulder and looked at Harry pointedly. "I left precise instructions."

Harry cleared his throat quickly. "Um, Hank, Cassandra…"

She put up her hand. "I did not give you permission to address me so informally."

"Right." Harry adjusted his glasses, and I could see the irritation flash for a second across his face. "Miss Palliurum has requested that you write her story. Said that you were the only one who could really understand."

_Whoa. That was something I definitely didn't expect_. "Um, ok, I guess. Only problem is that I use my laptop to write, and I can't do that here. Magic fucks up the computer." I looked over to Cassandra and couldn't read her, but I had a feeling that she had planned on that. "If someone can bring me some parchment and an ink pen I can make my initial notes, though."

Harry and Ron looked at each other, and after some sort of agreement was reached Edith left to go get me some supplies. After a few moments Edith returned with what was needed, but also with a cup of tea for me.

"Old habits." She smiled at me and sat down.

"At least you'll have corroboration, Professor." Cassandra nodded to Edith. "She'll be able to back up anything you miss. I'm ready when you are."

I took a look at her across the table, and after a deep breath I began my notes. _Mid fifties, striking dark hair, hardly any makeup, no jewelry, delicate white lace at the edges of her sleeves and her collar, a dark grey military style jacket that's obviously been tailored for her. Sips her tea with her left hand, keeping the saucer connected with the right hand. Bright blue eyes that are piercing._ "Ok, just got some preliminary stuff out of the way. Let's skip all the…"

"David Copperfield crap?" She smiled slightly at me. "I'm sure you…"

"Holden Caulfield. Yeah. So, you're obviously well-read. You like good music. So why'd you go crazy?" As Cassandra laughed I felt a hand on my shoulder, and looked up to see Ron. The concerned look on his face was obvious, but I shook my head. After he returned to his spot I looked over at Cassandra. "I'm not going to pull any punches or do the polite shit; I think we're past that point."

"I agree." She sat back as if I was interviewing her for one of the glossy celebrity magazines.

It was obvious she felt at ease, triumphant almost, so I decided to treat it as if I was interviewing a minor movie star. "But I have to go back a bit, just for my own curiosity. How did you acquire your love of literature? And music? It's obvious you're well-read, and then there's the music…"

"Ah, yes." She sat back in her chair and effortlessly crossed her legs. "I was almost you, you know."

"Ah, what, um, huh?' I took off my glasses. "I don't think so. I didn't kill two Muggles at point blank range with a handgun."

"No, but you did help off two Knights of the Wand at your brother's wedding. They don't like you very much, you know." She uncrossed her legs and leaned forward. "No, what I meant was that I wanted to teach literature. Coming out of high school I wanted to go to college, but when everything went to hell that was out of the question. Still, once you've got the lit addiction, almost impossible to shake."

"What do you mean? Everything going to hell?"

"I'd chalked things up to just being weird. My parents were older and odd compared to my friends' parents. It was when my granny died and I found her box of things that everything fell apart. We had…" She stopped and cocked her head at me. "Aren't you supposed to be making notes?"

I nodded over to Edith. "She'll get everything; I'm more interested in the story right now."

"Hmmph. Ok. Well, when granny died they shipped boxes over to our house and Dad put them in storage. After high school, when we had to move yet again, I found them. There was one box that had my name written on it, but Mom never told me about it. I hid it from them, and when I had the chance there it was. Everything. My gran's wand, her letters, wizarding photographs, you name it. There was also a large envelope that had my name on it. Inside I found a series of letters between Gran and Mom, arguing on whether or not they should tell me that I'm a witch. Gran was for it, and obviously Mom wasn't. My letter from Bródúil was in there, too. I was furious, as you can expect. When I picked up my Gran's wand it felt good, and I made it do a few things. It always felt weird, but I could get it to do some stuff, not much at first, but I found some old books at the bottom of the box. Inside one of the books was a letter from my Gran, saying that since I had the box now it was obvious that she was gone, and Mom couldn't yell at her anymore. She gave me all of her old books. I hid them from Mom and decided then and there that I was going to say the hell with college; I had more important things to learn besides deconstructing Nathaniel Hawthorne a million times over. Never could get the wand to work right, though, it never did exactly what I wanted."

"It's because it's your Gran's wand, not yours." I took a sip of tea. "Wand chooses the wizard, or witch in this case, not the other way around."

* * *

Two hours later I sat in Robards' office with Ron and Harry. Robards looked like hell, as it was obvious he had been working instead of doing things like, well, sleeping.

"Weasley, I'm so bloody tired I really don't care if you put your feet on my desk as long as you can give me something. Whaddya think?"

Ron glanced over at me and then back to Robards. "She's kind of like what Hank would be like if he went to the dark side. Little more magic, though."

"What? We're nothing…" I stopped and looked at Ron. After a big sigh I nodded. "Ok, there's the books, the music, growing up a Muggle in America…but that's where it ends. I work with you guys. Hell, I married a witch and I teach at Hogwarts!"

"Exactly, Hank." Ron gave me a 'sorry, mate' smile. "But think about it. Instead of having just a little magic, she has magic, just doesn't know how to really use it. Plus it's not her wand, so she can't do much with it. Instead of embracing everything she went off the rails. Can't decide if she's smart or crazy. Maybe both."

"Oh, she's a nutter. No doubt on that one." Harry shook his head. "That whole business about finding the Wand Children, trying to be a, what did you call it, Hank?"

"Hippie. Peace, love and all that shit." I shrugged. "I've always thought hippies were naïve as hell. Sounds like the Wand Children are no different."

"So how the bloody hell did she come across Professor Muggle's books?" Robards shook his head. "If she's on the outs with everyone?"

"Periphery." I took a sip of tea. "We've all known those people, the ones who are part of things but not really, the ones that hang out on the edges. We know she found someone in Louisiana to teach her that dark magic, the not-really-voodoo shit that Draco talked about. If she knew someone who could teach her that it's not a big jump to getting a hold of my books. That crazy ass bookstore in Rue Avenue even had copies."

Robards stood up abruptly and walked over to his window. "At least we can hold her as long as we damn well like. Even if she hasn't given up the location of the missing professors she did admit to shooting the Muggles that Boot found. I'm still not giving in to her bloody demands, though."

"Might have to soon, boss." Ron stood up and walked over to Robards. "We've still got missing professors out there, the WLF is on the warpath, and _The Prophet_ will be publishing soon. She said that the letter was mailed in the Muggle post on Friday morning. Who knows where it is now?"

_Fuck_. I sat there and half-listened to the rest of the conversation, as I kept replaying my talk with Cassandra in my head. _Letter mailed off to The Daily Prophet via Muggle mail outlining her kidnappings, how she'd manipulated everyone, and how everything was heading towards a war that could potentially destroy everything. More than that, though, she wanted to be interviewed by a Prophet reporter and refused to say another word when Ron told her it wasn't going to happen._

"I'll send an owl to Kingsley. Invoke national security clauses or something." Robards turned from the window, his face ashen. "Go home, lads. Nothing more to do today."

Melody could tell something was wrong when I got home as I was very quiet. I said hello, went into my office and put on my headphones. After I'd made it through the first three songs of a Nick Drake album when she walked in and sat across from me in one of the big leather armchairs. It took me a minute to realize she was there, so after taking off the headphones I just looked at her.

"Hank, what's wrong?"

I didn't say anything for a while; instead I just looked down at my shoes. Finally I managed to muster up the courage to speak. "It's all my fault, Mel. It is. If I hadn't written those books Cassandra Palliurum would never have started everything. It's all my fault."

She took my hand in hers. "Henry…it isn't your fault. How many times have you told me that it doesn't work that way when I comment on one of your shooting games? The ones on the playbox thingy? You always tell me that it's doesn't make someone want to go out and actually do those things. She had to have something wrong with her in the first place, and you didn't do that."

"Logically I know that, but it still feels shitty. I feel like I've been thrown into something that I don't understand, and, fuck, that's been my life since I started at Hogwarts. I knew all the good things that have happened were too good to be true, nobody gets this lucky. I mean, you, the bump, er, Hieronymus, teaching at Hogwarts, our friends. Shit, Titus being headmaster instead of Flurbin. All that stuff. I knew there'd be a price for it somehow."

"Henry Aaron MacDonald Boyd. I never want to hear that again." She moved off of her chair and knelt down in front of me. "Look at me. Hank…" She put her hand on my chin and raised my head to look at her. "There isn't a little pile of happiness, and once you've taken your fill it's gone forever. Life doesn't work that way. You know as well as I do that life goes on, and you take the good with the bad. I know you feel responsible, but that just isn't true. We'll get through this, just like we always do."

I reached down and kissed her gently. "Thank you, love. I know you're right, but it still feels shitty."

"I know, I know." She started to get up but struggled, so I helped her stand. "Now come on, let's go watch something stupid and trashy on the DVD."

* * *

Monday morning at breakfast was completely as I expected, no overtly inquisitive questions but the subtle, polite type. The 'how was your weekend?' and 'not much longer before the baby arrives, is there?' type things. Part of me just wanted to stand up and start talking about Cassandra Palliurum, the fight in Ireland and my decimated Volkswagen, but I knew better than that. Cho wasn't at the table, which made me nervous for her and Mike, but at least I had Neville. He sat down next to me, took a sip of tea and elbowed me.

"Tell me later, when you can. Now, that's out of the way, so…"

"Thanks, Neville." I nodded at him and could tell that he completely understood. Another example that proved that I would never be able to make it though without Neville, as he acknowledged things and moved right on.

"Yes, well, you're welcome. Counting the days now, I take it? How much longer?"

"Little over a month. It just seems weird, a baby when all this craziness is going on. I mean, I'm happy as hell, I am, really, but everything else has got me so messed up. Shit. I mean…"

"Hank, women have been having babies since the dawn of time, regardless of what is happening. Life goes on, and there are some unexpected developments, but life goes on. Plus there's what happens after a big event. We'll be seeing that soon here at Hogwarts, starting next year, in fact."

What? "What are you talking about, Nev?"

Neville chuckled a bit. "It's been ten years since Voldemort's defeat. Students come to Hogwarts when they turn eleven. Do the math."

In light of all of the heavy things that I had been thinking of Neville's comment caught me off guard and made me laugh a little too hard. When I could finally speak again I nodded. "Baby boom. Happened in the Muggle world after World War Two. So class sizes?"

"I have a feeling we should be prepared for a larger student population in the next few years." Neville spread marmalade on his toast. "Will definitely make things interesting."

Luckily Virgil met me at my classroom door, meowing loudly. I picked him up and realized that the very tiny kitten that I had acquired in New Orleans was definitely bigger. In fact, even though I had been around cats all my life, Virgil was the size of a full grown tomcat, something that should have tipped me off that there was something different about him. "I'm glad to see you too, Virg." I scratched him underneath his chin and he responded with a deep, rumbling purr. "Tell you what, bud, this is going to be a very difficult day in class, so feel free to be a major distraction."

I sat him down on top of my desk and began preparing for class, but it just wasn't working. After a few moments of trying to remember where to pick back up after the last week I'd lose myself in thoughts about Ireland, Cassandra Palliurum and everything else. When the fourth years started entering my classroom, luckily Virgil had paid attention. First he sat on my desk and washed himself in a rather rude pose, and then he began walking through the students, demanding attention and playing with quills.

I stood up from my chair and went to the front of my desk and perched on the edge. "Ok, let's try to pick up where we left off last week, shall we?" A hand went up towards the back of the classroom, and I knew exactly who it was and what was coming. "Yes, Mr. Smythe?"

Willy glanced at Lavinia for a second and then returned to me. "Professor, can you tell us what happened after the ceremony? _The Prophet_…"

I waved him off. "Yes, I suppose I should get that out of the way first. Fine. Ok, y'all know I've been working with the Aurors. That's what I did, and I really can't say more about it. Just remember the first goal of The Prophet is to sell newspapers." I took off my glasses. "Right. Anything else you want to know I suggest you ask Kingsley Shacklebolt. Now let's get back to last week's lesson."

The rest of class went well, and at the end of the period I gave them a small writing assignment. Luckily they didn't ask anymore questions about Ireland, so I didn't have to deflect those somehow. Not surprisingly Lavinia stood at my desk after class.

"Yes, Lavinia?"

"Um…" She looked down as Virgil had his front paws on her, trying to get her attention. She picked him up and he looked even bigger in Lavinia's arms. "Oh you're such a demanding boy today, Virgil. Hank, um, Professor, are you and Melody ok? Charlie read the paper yesterday and seemed very worried. That made me think about you and Melody an' Hieronymus…"

"We're all fine; don't worry." I sat back in my chair and exhaled deeply. "You know there's things I can't tell you, right? But don't worry, Harry, Ron and the Aurors are making sure everything is ok."

That seemed to do the trick for the moment, so she put down Virgil and smiled weakly. "You know everyone knows Hieronymus' name now, right?"

I nodded. "I let that slip. Ruby, right? So who won the pool?"

She smiled at me and twisted her small, blonde ponytail. "Oh, I think you'll find out soon enough."

Lavinia was right as the moment the seventh years entered my classroom Franny looked as pleased as punch. She sat next to Peter, as usual, but I could tell that she was extra happy.

I stood in front of my class and chuckled. "Right, so you know the name now. Ruby, I swear you should be an Auror, with the way you find things out. Who won the pool?"

"Me!" Franny smiled broadly. "Thirty-five Galleons!"

"Plus five Sickles and three Gnuts." Poesy shook her head. "I should have known. But there's still the middle name!"

I shook my head. "You guys, I swear. Ok, let's get it all out of the way up front. I know you've read The Prophet, but I also know you read it critically, so I'm going to just skip over that bit. Yes, I'm…"

Liv interrupted me. "We know, Professor. You'll tell us when you can."

I sat back on my desk and looked out at my seventh year students, amazed. The class that was my worst nightmare my first year were now not only good students, they were more than that. I realized right then exactly how much I was going to miss them next year, as more than any of my other classes, with some particular exceptions for certain students, this class were my kids. "Thank you, Liv."

The rest of class went by in the typical animated seventh year way, as they discussed their musical assignment and different cultural aspects of the albums, but I found myself thinking about them more than the topic. Peter Sawgrass, who had done more to make my class 'acceptable' than he would ever know. Mature far past his age and unfortunately much earlier than he should be. His girlfriend, and now fiancée, Franny Ellsworth. The quietest girl I'd ever had in my class until a combination of subjects, familiarity and Peter helped open her up and let everyone see how thoughtful and caring she is. Liv Wapping, smart as a whip, hilarious, my constant companion with the swearing book and not afraid to stand on her own and hold an unpopular opinion if she felt it was right. Ruby Smythe-Warring and Carrick Frye, the couple that was hilarious and heart-rending at times, as they fell into the traps that all couples do, but somehow they always managed to patch things up. I saw a lot of myself in Carrick, and Ruby was almost like another adopted daughter as often as she was over to Colony House with Lavinia. And finally, but definitely not least, Poesy Phillips. Initially one of the smartest, most difficult students I'd ever had, the girl whose pranks infuriated me but did give me my first book title, and now one of my best students. I'd heard from Lavinia and other students that she was fiercely protective of Muggle Studies and Muggle Club, something that made it even more amazing to me. Hell, these were the students that started Muggle Club under that shithead Flurbin. And now, in less than two months they would all be gone, some of the married, others just out in the world making their way.

"Professor?" Poesy elbowed me slightly. "Are you ok? Are you…"

I took off my glasses and wiped my eyes with my sleeve. "I'm fine, Poesy, fine.

* * *

Later that night, after supper, I heard the Floo come to life and with it my wife's voice. "Hank?"

I moved over to the Floo. "Hi love. What's up?"

"Just thought I'd tell you that Ginny loved Albus' birthday presents. Wish you could have gone with me, but everyone understands."

"Good. I hope he'll love _The Wind in the Willows_ as much as I did when I was a kid. Still can't believe he's two. Seems like just the other day he was born. Hell, worse than that, it seems like yesterday when James was born."

"Well, you are old, Hank." Her smile was obvious through the green flames. "I'm also reminding you that I have another appointment on Friday, and every Friday afternoon after that until Hieronymus decides to arrive."

"Sure, no problem. Titus has already given me free reign for that. He's going to take the seventh years on Fridays and let me use his Floo. How are you feeling?"

"Uncomfortable. I swear he never lets me get any sleep. Ginny said it was the same thing with the boys, but she thinks this one's different. Maybe it's a girl?"

"Possible, but unlikely. Isn't Ginny the first Weasley girl in ages?"

"Regardless of what George says I think it's going to be a girl." She pushed her glasses to the top of her head. "Hank, we do need to start planning the Muggle Club party, that's coming up, you know."

"Maybe we should just have it here at Hogwarts. I don't want you to do too much."

"Nonsense. I'm perfectly capable. Besides, Hannah said she would help. Honestly, I don't know what I'd do without her lately. Has Neville told you what she's been doing?"

I shook my head. "No, he hasn't. What's Hannah been up to?"

"She brings me suppers most nights, other times when she's not working she stops by and we do absolutely nothing together. It's wonderful."

"I don't know what I'd do without those two, Mel." I took a deep breath. "I want to do something special for my seventh years. You know how much that class means to me, but I'm not sure what to do. Maybe we could have a new tradition, we have the Muggle Studies NEWT students over after Hogwarts is out, not right away, of course, but have them over for dinner or something."

"Feeling sentimental, Hank?" She smiled. "Of course, I think that's a good idea. It'll give me something to work on. Margaret has all but told me to do nothing, she's keeping things away from me for my own good, I suppose, but I'm bored. I'll work on that." Her head went away from the flames momentarily and then reappeared quickly. "Got to go, love. Spit needs to go outside and Churchill's teasing him again."

"Your dog is demanding. And your cat? He's Churchill, that's all I can say. I'll see you on Friday; I'll meet you at St. Mungo's. Night, love."

* * *

The rest of the week went by in a maddeningly slow fashion. I received an owl from Ron on Wednesday saying that Cassandra Palliurum had stopped talking since a preview of her story did not appear in The Daily Prophet. She was eating and drinking but refused to say another word. She did write out a quick note saying that I was a severe disappointment and would no longer talk to me, so my involvement in her interrogation or interview or whatever the hell it could be called was now considered over. There was no new information on the missing professors, and a small note from Draco revealed that he was even off of the search, as Robards was mad at the Invisibles for withholding information. The AAB was also holding its cards close to the vest, so there was no news from them.

I found myself reading late into the night, mostly to get my mind off of things. At one point I even picked up a copy of _Canterbury Tales_ written in Middle English that I had always planned on reading, once I'd actually learned Middle English, and for a few moments I made it through the prologue before realizing that it wasn't a translation. I chuckled when I realized that the only reason I could actually read the prologue was that Professor Litte actually made all of us learn the prologue in Middle English. After that I turned to old science fiction short stories, mostly from the Fifties, and that helped keep my mind off of the craziness with the missing professors, not to mention the upcoming arrival of Hieronymus and all of the associated worries that went along with his birth.

Friday afternoon when Titus stopped down I was ready to leave, ready to go see Mel and do the St. Mungo's bit with the annoying Healer. "Ready for this, Gavin?"

"Of course, my boy. I should probably be asking you that, ah, question, though, shouldn't I?'

I slumped back in my chair. "Dad says that no matter how prepared you are you're never really ready when a baby arrives."

"Very perceptive man, your father, as he is absolutely correct. Don't fret about your class, they'll be fine. And don't tell them I told you this, but I do enjoy their conversation. Don't want them to get swelled heads before the NEWT. Right then, off you go. Tell your lovely wife hello for me."

I made my way to Titus' chambers without really thinking too much, just noticing the difference in masonry that Goldstein had pointed out on the anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts. I was preoccupied thinking about the parallels between that time and the current events that were unfolding outside of the castle when I threw down the Floo powder and soon arrived at St. Mungo's.

According to our plan Mel would be waiting for me in the main visitor's lounge, and I knew my way there without getting lost, so I was still wrapped in my thoughts when I sat down in one of the chairs. After a few minutes of waiting patiently my wife was nowhere to be found, so I scrounged around and found an old Quidditch Weekly magazine. Since I don't really follow Quidditch like Ron or other people I mostly skimmed the articles, looking at my watch for occasionally, and realized that Mel was ten minutes late, completely unlike her. Well, unlike her when it came to the baby appointments, anyway. One of the Healers came out and called Mel's name, so I answered back that I was here but she was late, causing some consternation amongst the scheduling witch.

I turned back to Quidditch Weekly and after finding Ginny's column began to read when I heard my name. I recognized the voice, but it couldn't be her. I put down the magazine and turned around, and yes, sure enough, there stood my Mom with Melody.

"Mom? What are you doing here? And how? That explains why you're late, Mel."

Melody walked over, gave me a kiss on the forehead and walked rapidly over to the reception witch. Well, waddled quickly was more like it, but I knew better than to say anything. My mom came over and gave me a hug before I could get out of my seat and sat down in the chair next to me.

"I was having lunch with Lavender the other day and I told her that I just couldn't wait any longer. She arranged everything. A very nice young man with the AAB was headed over to London, and after some back and forth the AAB let me tag along. I hope you don't mind, Hank."

The surprise of seeing my mom at St. Mungo's prevented me from speaking for a moment. When I finally collected my wits I nodded. "No, um…that's fine, Mom. Actually that's great, Mel's been bored lately."

Mel sat down in the chair next to me with some difficulty. "Yes, Hank, I know I'm late. I think your mum arriving unexpectedly via portkey with an AAB agent qualifies as a proper reason. We'll be going in soon; they shuffled an appointment around for me."

Mom took out a cookbook from her bag. "For some reason I thought the portkey would take as long as a plane, so I brought things to keep me occupied. I know, Hank, I know, you and Nate and Lavender have tried to tell me how it works, but it just didn't sink in. I'll just plan out a few new recipes for this week while you two are in your appointment. Don't worry, I'll be fine."

Before I could say anything the Healer called Mel's name, I helped pull her out of the chair and we followed the Healer into the exam room. After doing the usual preliminaries the Healer left and I sat on the end of the exam bed.

"You'll have to move, you know. They'll have me all spread out as usual." Mel moved her hair back off of her face. "Maybe I should get a haircut."

"You mean the new mom, er, mummy cut? I've seen it a million times, and Jennifer did it as well. John said he loved her hair until she had the first baby, and then she cut it off."

"It just makes sense, Hank. I'll be too busy…"

"And tired."

"Shush. I'll be busy _and_ tired, so it will take too much effort to properly do my hair."

I shook my head. "But you're a witch. Can't you just wave your wand or something?"

Before I got an earful Healer Berfic walked in, again wearing green robes, a crazy hat and with a quill stuck behind her ear. "Well, both of you, again such a surprise. I expected you wouldn't be here until the baby arrived, Mr. Boyd."

I looked at Mel briefly and sighed. She turned to the Healer with a very insincere smile. "My husband will be at all the appointments from here on out. Headmaster Titus has it taken care of."

The Healer pulled her quill out from behind her ear and began scratching on her clipboard. "Oh, I know Titus is an old softie, that's not what I meant. I just figured he'd be off with the Aurors doing something completely hush-hush. I'm sure it is very important."

I scooted off of the exam bed and sat in the only chair in the room. "I am here, you know. You don't have to talk about me, you could talk to me."

Berfic fixed me directly in the eye. "So, will you be off with the Aurors chasing bad people and doing Merlin knows what? Allegedly?"

_Fucking hell._ "I can't say, sorry."

"That's what I thought." She turned abruptly to Mel. "Now then, let's take a look at how things are cooking, shall we?"

I watched as she waved her wand. Instead of writing things down on her clipboard, though, I saw notes begin to display on the parchment. After finishing with her wand she looked over at the clipboard.

"Hmm…he's a big boy. Most first babies go a little after their due date, but you might be in here sooner than expected. Since that's not unexpected at this time I do have a few things for you to keep in mind, Mrs. Boyd. First, no more Apparition. Second, you will need to stay off of your feet as much as possible, as I did notice that your ankles are much more swollen than your last visit. Your blood sugar is a bit high, have you been following the diet I prescribed?"

I had to stifle a laugh, as I knew full well that Melody hadn't been following the diet. When I looked at her she gave me the 'don't you dare' look.

"I might have strayed a teensy bit from the diet."

I was amazed she managed to say it with a straight face, but obviously Healer Berfic had heard all the excuses before. "Well, I'll have another copy owled to you. I'm sure you just misplaced it. Ok, that's it for now. Besides the things I went over do your exercises and I'll see you next Friday."

When we made it back to the reception area Mom met us with barely contained excitement. "Oh, I just found the most wonderful new chocolate cheesecake recipe. I can't wait to try it out, I'm sure you two will love it."

I laughed, causing Melody to elbow me. "It sounds lovely, Karen."


	25. Oh Pretty Ponies!

**Chapter 25: Oh Pretty Ponies!**

After arriving back at Colony House I decided to stay for a while before heading back to Hogwarts to pick up the assignments that needed grading over the weekend. Once Mom's things had been settled into the spare bedroom I made my way to the kitchen where Melody and Mom were sitting at the kitchen table looking over the diet that Healer Berfic had owled over. Apparently, from Mom's face, it wasn't very good.

"Hank, have you seen this?" Mom brandished the parchment at me as if it was a rather sternly worded letter about her azaleas or something. "This has to be the worst diet in the world. No way to nourish a mother and a baby."

I sat down and took off my glasses. "I'm sure you can improve on it, Mom. After all, all of us kids were fine, right? And didn't you say when Jennifer was pregnant that the two of you ignored the diet Jen's obstetrician sent over?"

"Oh yes, that was pathetic as well." Mom patted Melody on the hand. "Don't worry, I'm here and I haven't been able to really cook for a while."

I looked over at her, confused. "What do you mean, Mom?"

"Well." Mom rolled her eyes. "Your father is on this new, special diet. Our doctor says it's specifically tailored to men in their 'golden years' but it's really because your dad is getting fat. All low-call this, fat-free that, tastes like crap. He's playing along when he's in the house but I found fast food wrappers in the trunk of his car the other day."

I shook my head. "Does the doctor know he's fighting a losing battle? Dad's never going to give up the food he loves."

"Just like someone I know won't give up smoking?" Mom gave me a stern look. "I saw the pipes in the office when I got here with the AAB agent."

"Oh man!" I sighed. "I'm going almost forty. Let me enjoy something."

Mom picked up her empty teacup and stood up. She patted Melody's belly and winked at me. "Oh, I think you do, Henry."

Melody turned about ten shades of red as her mouth dropped open.

"Mom!" I watched her head to the stove to get the kettle and then looked quickly over to Mel. "Why don't we call your mom and just get it over with. Why not just get all the embarrassment over at once?"

* * *

The next week at Hogwarts went along smoothly. My seventh years were starting the preparation for their NEWT exams in earnest, my other classes were going along well and I didn't receive any more urgent requests for anything from the Aurors. On Friday morning I sat down next to Neville and Cho at breakfast as usual, but in an unusually good mood. I'd received a letter from Mel the day before that said that my Mom was not only cooking everything _not_ on the list but had also accompanied Molly one day on a visit to Ginny. From Mel's comments it appeared that only my Mom saved Molly from hearing another earful from Ginny. Well, that and a pan of freshly baked giant cinnamon rolls. I was going to St. Mungo's again later that day, so I'd see Melody and hear how the bump was "cooking" according to Healer Berfic.

"Hank, are you ok today?" Neville gave me an odd look. "I've been eating breakfast next to you for years, and I know you're not a morning person."

I chuckled. "Normally, you're right, but it's just hitting me funny. He's almost here, and I can't wait. Good thing I'm a man, I don't know if I could do the whole pregnancy thing. I wouldn't be that irritable and crazy…" I quickly looked over to Cho. "Sorry, that didn't come out like…" Cho looked irritable, which confused me. Usually she just gave me a hard time about my more stupid comments. "Come on, Cho, you know what I meant."

She looked over at me, and then leaned over to Neville. "If you two say anything I will turn you into…something horrible."

I held up my hands. "Seriously, Cho, come on, I was joking."

She sat down her fork and looked me directly in the eyes. "Yes, well thank you for reminding me of how much fun I'm about to have. Mike and I are expecting."

"Holy shit!" I hugged her. "That's great! So when will the future little Greene arrive?"

Cho's voice was flat. "January. Right in the middle of the year."

_Uh-oh. Right in the middle of classes_. "I'm sure you'll have a great substitute, Cho. Don't worry."

She got up abruptly. "We all can't schedule our babies in the summer like you. Or have someone else do the work while you teach."

After she left I looked over to Neville. "There's no way I was going to come out looking good in that conversation, was there?"

Neville thought for a moment. "No, I don't believe so. Let me change the topic before we say something to get us into more trouble…"

"Nev, she left."

"Better safe than sorry, Hank. So, Hogsmeade Swearing Party on Saturday, right? Who's helping this year?"

"Yeah, Saturday. Petal said she'd help this year, thought it was a good idea. Don't have to worry about someone trying any magic on me with her about."

* * *

I arrived at St. Mungo's for the appointment, but this time Melody was waiting for me, as well as Mom. I gave Mel a quick kiss and sat down. "So, how was your week?" Before Melody could answer Mom lit into me.

"Henry Aaron! A party for your students because of your bad language? You're teaching children, for God's sake. Show some restraint!"

"I thought you knew about the party, Mom?" I looked over to Melody. "It's not as bad as it was the first year. Right?"

Mom wouldn't let Mel answer. "You are so much like your grandmother." She turned to Melody. "Did you know he could cuss like a sailor almost from the moment he started talking? My mother, God rest her soul, did not have the most polite language. I knew letting her watch the kids when I was running the catering company was a bad idea, but it was free child care. I'm looking to you to break the trend."

"Boyd?" A Healer stood at the door with a clipboard."

"That's our cue." I stood up and pulled Melody out of the chair, leaving Mom to fume about my language. I couldn't resist having a little fun, though, so I turned to Mom. "Don't worry; when he gets here I won't say shit. Much. Well, every fucking now and then."

Melody pinched my arm but I ignored it. Once we were in the examination room Melody got on the table thing and I sat in the chair next to her. "So really, how was your week with Mom?"

"It was actually a lot of fun. I didn't have to do anything, she wouldn't let me. Mum came over one day for tea and the two of them chattered on like a pair of squirrels. And the food! It's a no wonder your father is gaining weight, it's all so good and so fattening."

"So you've ignored the diet, then." Healer Berfic stood in the doorway with her little clipboard. "You'll pay for it after the baby gets here, harder to get back to your regular size. Your choice."

I stifled a laugh, as I knew actually laughing out loud would go over like a lead balloon. With the diet thing out of the way Healer Berfic did her regular examination things, but it was when she asked Melody the question about contractions that I snapped to attention.

"Mel? Did you say you've had contractions? You didn't tell me that."

"They're far apart and not very strong, Hank. You mum was there and told me about her four pregnancies, and my mum also told me not to worry. They're too far apart to get worried about."

"Quite right, Mrs. Boyd." Healer Berfic took out her quill and jotted a few things down on her clipboard. "You know when they get closer together, and more intense, to come to St. Mungo's. Now, since you obviously haven't listened to my advice about nutrition, please tell me you haven't been Apparating?"

* * *

Saturday morning I woke up later than I'd planned, as I had to head into Hogwarts to meet the students for the walk into Hogsmeade, the traditional start of the Swearing Party, so I wasn't in the best mood. I hate being hurried, as it throws me off. Luckily, though, the kitchen held wonderful smells. When I walked in Melody was sitting in her dressing gown at the kitchen table while Mom was in full command of breakfast. I sat down and Melody pushed over a cup of tea.

"I know you slept in late so I won't ask how you're doing this morning, but I think you'll be fine after this."

I nodded. "Thanks, love. You do know how much tea helps."

She shook her head. "Oh no, not tea. Just wait."

After taking a sip of tea and trying to become human I realized exactly what she meant, as Mom began serving a breakfast that was to die for. Fruit, some sort of breakfast quiche thing with sausage and cheese, bacon and that was alongside about everything else you could possible ask for. After a few bites I looked over to Mel. "No wonder you chucked the diet."

Mom sat down with a cup of coffee and pushed a small box over to me. "Molly sent this over for you. I know it's not breakfast food but I thought I should give it to you now since I won't be here when you get home today. Hermione Weasley has invited me over to tea and then we're going to visit her parents."

I opened the box and saw some of Molly's best fudge. "Oh hell yes! Hey, fudge has milk in it, right? Milk's a breakfast thing." I took out a piece and popped it in my mouth, savoring the taste. "Mmmm."

Melody smiled at me, and then at Mom, but I just chalked it up to the fact that I was eating fudge at breakfast and making 'Hank noises' as Mel called the sounds I make when eating really good food. I was wrong, though. I went to take a sip of tea and accidentally knocked the teacup over. "Oh fluffy bunnies!"

Melody and Mom began laughing uproariously. I took a look at them. "Fluffy bunnies? What the balloon?" _Balloon? _"Holy pancake, what is going on?"

At that point Mom was laughing so hard she was crying, and when I looked over at Mel, she actually snort-laughed. Finally when Mom could compose herself she explained.

"I was talking to Molly Weasley the other day, and George was over at The Burrow talking about his new products, so she came up with a little recipe that we decided to try. There's something magical in the fudge that won't allow you to curse, Hank. I hope your students will enjoy that at their little Swearing Party."

I watched Melody clean up my tea mess with her wand. _What the hell, I wasn't that bad, right? _"This is stupid, I'm not that bad. I mean, really, it's not like I cuss all the time. Sure, I say a few bad words, but pixies…"

That set my wife and my mother to laughing again, so I gave up and took a shower. When I left to go to Hogwarts they were still laughing at me.

After arriving at Hogwarts and marshalling the students into a somewhat decent group, I told Petal that I would take the lead and she could handle the stragglers, which worked perfectly for her. I was half way towards Hogsmeade when Lavinia and Willy caught up with me. So far I'd been able to avoid saying any swear words, as if it got out that I couldn't actually cuss I'd never hear the end of it. "So, how are you two this morning?"

"We're fine, Hank, er, Professor." Lavinia held Willy's hand and walked along the path. "How's Melody?"

"She's fine, especially as Mom's been cooking up a storm. I told you that my Mom's at Colony House, right?"

"Yes, you did." Willy nodded. "Muggle Club."

"Right. Well, with my mom and Melody's mom about she's been well taken care of."

"Professor Muggle!" Poesy waved at me and sort of jogged over. "When it comes to the shop, George said that he's topped last year's stuff. Just want to warn you, stay away from the Language Lemon Drops."

"Language Lemon Drops?" I was confused. "Are those new? What do they do?'

Poesy laughed. "Well, they'd make the Swearing Party a lot cheaper for you, that's what. They make it so you can't say swear words. We've got some other ones, though, the Swearing Sweets, that aren't on the market yet. George said it would be funny to have six year olds that sound like you when someone's done something in class, but he doesn't want too many angry mums."

"Oh pretty ponies!" I shook my head.

"Pretty ponies?" Poesy took one look at me and began laughing hysterically. "Pretty ponies, that's hilarious! Come on, say something else."

I glanced at Lavinia and Willy, but it was useless; they were laughing as well."

"Go on, I'll meet y'all at the first stop. I need to go have a word with George. Stupid kitten."

* * *

The next day and, to be honest, the entirety of the next week was like waiting for Christmas or my birthday when I was a kid. I knew it was coming up and I couldn't wait, and like back then I found it hard to concentrate on pretty much anything else. Some mysteries were cleared up, however. George had confessed during the Swearing Party excursion to his shop that he'd concocted up the new "language line" after hearing Molly and my mom talk about my horrible language, and had done some "cooking" with Molly at The Burrow. The only good thing to come out of that conversation was that I'd given him an idea of temporary language boosts, especially for Aurors in foreign countries; pop in an Italian flavored sweet and for a good two hours you were fluent in Italian.

Besides that, though, it was grading papers and preparing for finals, in more ways than one. The days were dwindling until Hieronymus would finally be here. My family, well, Dad, Nate and Lavender, would be over here, along with all of the craziness that was bound to follow. Even the Friday appointment at St. Mungo's with Healer Berfic added to the expectations, as it was more of the usual. Everybody was waiting. More importantly, though, when Mel and I went home to Colony House after the appointment someone was waiting for us. Actually, me. As soon as we Flooed back from St. Mungo's there was a knock on the door.

I peeked through the little hole in the door, surprised at who was there. I opened the door immediately.

"Professor, I hope I haven't arrived at an inopportune moment." Draco Malfoy stood at my front door, looking as if he'd just spent the last three weeks sleeping in a muddy ditch.

"Draco! No, come on in."

As Draco entered the house I saw Melody's eyebrows raise and her expression darken. An unexpected visit from Draco, especially looking like that, couldn't be wonderful news.

"I'll put on the kettle for you two." Melody gave me a look as she walked by and I knew she wasn't happy.

"We'll be in my office, Mel." I took a deep breath and motioned for Draco to follow. Once we were seated, and before I could say anything, Draco launched into it.

"Professor, I apologize for my untidy appearance. I have just returned from an extended excursion in the less-travelled areas in Louisiana, specifically the wilder areas surrounding New Orleans. Since Cassandra Palliurum's apprehension I have been seeking out the practitioners of what you initially classified as voodoo. As I thought it is not the type of magic portrayed in the movies and popular ephemera of the Muggles, but something older and darker. To clarify exactly what it entails would take entirely too much time. Suffice it to say that the Ministry will be very eager to comprehend my findings."

The office door opened and Melody entered, tea items arranged on a platter. She sat them down on my desk.

"Thank you, Melody. It has been quite a long time since I have had a proper cup of tea." Draco gave her a grateful smile. "Your due date is very soon, is it not?"

"Yes, in two weeks." Melody put her hand on her lower back. "Can't come soon enough. I'll leave you two; I believe it's time for a nap."

Before she left Mel gave me a sideways glance to know that yes, even though she'd brought us tea, she still wasn't thrilled about Draco's presence. "Let me know if you need anything, Mel." After she left I took a sip of tea and looked over to Draco. "I'm not sure I follow you. We've already caught Cassandra. Why did you need to go back to New Orleans?"

"A combination of questions that had not been resolved, specifically the whereabouts of the remaining Muggle Studies professors, as well as what kind of magic the WLF may be employing. Cassandra's ability to utilize…I will use voodoo as the term for ease of comprehension…her ability to wield that type of magic was frightening. If someone as limited in magical education such as Cassandra can employ that level of skill, what would it be like facing someone with magical competence, not to mention training?"

I nodded. "I get it. Need to know what the Aurors and everybody else will be up against, that kind of thing?"

Draco took a sip of tea and nodded. "Yes, that's precisely it."

"Then why stop by here? Don't get me wrong, Draco, I'm glad you stopped by, haven't had a chance to talk to you in ages, but…"

"I'm sorry, Hank, but once again your name has come up. Specifically, your books. It seems each group wants to twist your works to lend credence to their agendas. The WLF, obviously, views your books as an affront to all "true wizards." The Wand Children see your writing as an example of how Muggles and the wizarding world can live in harmony. WHAM views your books as a secret code, an underground attempt at providing the truth about the magical world through fiction."

"Fiction? It's not fiction!" I shook my head. "If it was fiction I wouldn't have written so many embarrassing things about myself. I would have been…well, not like that. Fuck me. Fiction."

"Cassandra is quite the gardener. She simply planted some seeds and let the groups grow, letting their own desires and prejudices feed the situation. I believe she intended the incident in Ireland to be a harvest, of sorts." He took another sip of tea and leaned back in the leather chair. "As for the missing professors, I believe that initially she only intended to use them as bait to draw in all the interested parties, but if my findings are any indication that has gone somewhat off the tracks. A very small part of me feels sorry for her."

"What? Sorry for her? Draco, we know she's killed at least two Muggles, not to mention setting up the whole clusterfuck in Ireland that caused even more deaths and injuries. How the hell can you feel sorry for her?"

"She has always been at odds with everything in her life. Born a witch but denied any possible understanding of her abilities, confused when accidental magic happened, shunned by Muggles due to her differences…and then in one swift moment realizing that all of that had been purposely hidden from her. Part of both worlds but never understanding them fully, never integrated or accepted. A lost soul."

I sat back in my chair and copied Draco's silent demeanor. It all reminded me of what Ron had said a while back, not to mention the fact that Cassandra said we were a lot alike, the two of us. It didn't make sense to me. "Draco, I know that it sucked for her, not knowing, having things hidden, not to mention her family history. Sorry, I know you're ok with me talking about it but it still feels weird, how you two are related. Distantly, really distantly, but still. She had a choice on how to react when she found out, just like she had a choice when she read my book. She just got lost in her own anger and hate, that's how I see it."

Draco lowered his eyes for a moment and then looked at me rather intently. "Yes, she is a lost witch, that is for certain." He sat his teacup on my desk and stood up abruptly. "I apologize once again for arriving unexpected and in such condition. I felt you should know, especially as your baby will arrive shortly, that you still remain a target to those groups. I would suggest taking additional precautions. Actually, I will mention that to Weasley when I brief him of my findings. Please extend my appreciation to Melody for your hospitality."

Shortly after Draco left the door to my office opened, revealing Spit wagging his butt at me. I reached down and petted him, causing him to bark several times. "Listen, you sawed-off crazy dog, if you wake her up you're dealing with it, not me."

"Don't blame the dog, Hank." Melody stood at the doorway. "Now why was Draco Malfoy here and why did he look so horrible?"

I winced. "I'll tell you, but you aren't going to like it."

She lowered herself into one of the big leather chairs. "What else is new?"

* * *

Sunday morning started with the covers being pulled off of me while sleeping. After saying a few choice words I tried to roll over and go back to sleep but that plan was soon gone as a bunch of cold water was thrown on me. "Fucking hell! What the…" I looked up and there, grinning like idiots, were my brothers.

"I thought he'd cuss more." Ted looked over to Nate. "Disappointing."

Nate shrugged. "He's getting old. Just be glad he doesn't sleep in the nude."

I sat up and found several rather wet parts of my bed. "You fuckers. Melody's going to kill you. That's her side of the bed."

I was waved off by Nate. "Shut up, she's a witch, she'll fix it in like two seconds. Put on something dry and get out here, Mom's going crazy."

"Oh yeah, there's enough to feed an army." Ted winked at me. "Or maybe your wife for an hour."

I threw pillows at them. "Assholes. Get out. And I'm telling Melody you said that!" After they left I sat there in my soggy bed for a few moments, realizing exactly what was happening in my house. Since Ted and Nate woke me up, that had to mean that everybody was out there with Melody. At least she had food, so I didn't feel too bad. _Oh crap; if my idiot brothers had to wake me up, how long had they been at my house?_

I threw on my robe, grabbed my glasses and headed out to the kitchen, not really caring what I looked like. After all, it was my family there, and they'd seen me look lots worse. As soon as I made my way in there I realized that Ted was right, Mom was cooking like it was going out of style as there was stuff everywhere. Two people were reading the newspaper at the table, pages in front of their faces, so I took that to be my brother-in-law John and my dad. I sat down in an empty chair next to them.

"Good morning, Henry. Tea or coffee?" Mom stood over my shoulder wearing an apron.

"Um, I think coffee today. Cream and a lot of sugar."

The newspaper on my right side went down suddenly. "It'd take more than a lot of sugar to make you sweet, I'm afraid."

"Oh fucking hell. George, what are you doing her so damned early?"

George Weasley shook his finger at me. "Not a good idea, you know I could make the anti-swearing thing appear in all sorts of food or drink. Sure you don't want tea this morning?"

The second newspaper was also down and thankfully it wasn't another Weasley, it was my dad. "Stick with the coffee, Hank. I don't trust him."

I watched Dad look over at George and blatantly wink. _Fuck_. "I changed my mind; I'll just have some orange juice."

A few moments later Jennifer sat down some orange juice in front of me and bonked me on the back of the head with her hand. "We come all this way and not even a hello?"

"Blame Nate and Ted, Jen. Do you know how they woke me up?"

After Nate and Ted got an earful from Melody, Mom and Jen we all finally settled down for breakfast. After all the plates were filled I looked over to George. "So what are you doing over here, really?"

"Ah, yes, besides potentially cleaning up your language? Ron owled me last night and asked me to come do some precautions, wards and such. I had just arrived when your family showed up, and then your mum said something about breakfast, so…" George took a big forkful of eggs and shoveled them into his mouth with a smile.

I looked across the table to Melody, but she was busy chatting with my sister Jen. I leaned over to talk to Dad. "What time did y'all get here?"

"Oh, let's see." Dad looked at his watch. "I'd say about two hours ago, give or take."

Before I could answer I heard the Floo indicating that someone else had arrived. As we all looked toward the living room I heard him first, and he didn't sound happy.

"George, I just Flooed right in here, no problem at…oh." Ron stood still, surprised at the number of people in the kitchen. "Oh, Mrs. Boyd, are those cinnamon rolls?"

Mom walked by and stuck a plate in Ron's hand. "Yes, Ron, and it's the cream cheese frosting. Care for some breakfast?"

"Oh, I'm afraid Ronnie's watching his weight. Just a bit of fruit and tasteless cereal for him."

Before Ron could answer I heard a knock on the front door, followed by Spit's alarmed barking. I got up from the table and looked over to Ron. "If it's another Weasley I'm going to…" I waved at him and then opened the door, relieved to see Harry standing there in his Auror robes.

He reached down to pet Spit and then looked up apologetically. "I'm sorry, Hank. This won't take long."

I rolled my eyes. "No problem, Harry. Come on in. I'm sure Mom can feed you, too."

As Harry and I walked into the kitchen George laughed. "It's not a Weasley, Hank, it's a half-Weasley."

"Sorry?" Harry gave me an odd look.

"Never mind. Welcome to the Colony House Bed and Breakfast."

* * *

Once all the appropriate wards and whatnot had been activated George, Harry and Ron left the house, leaving just my family. As Ted and Nate did dishes the Muggle way as penance for waking me up with ice-cold water I finally had a chance to visit with everybody else. Melody and I took the sofa, and she leaned up against me as I put my arm on the back of the sofa.

"So Jen, where are the munchkins? And where's Candice? Are they already here or are they coming later?"

Jen shook her head. "The kids are getting old enough that we wouldn't be able to say they're just making stuff up about magic anymore. When they're older we can let them know. Candice is home with Chip, as she and Ted thought it would be too much interruption to his schedule."

"Plus he's definitely in the terrible twos." Dad chuckled. "I feel sorry for Candice but it serves Ted right."

"Tom!" Mom shook her head. "He's not that bad, and neither was Ted."

I laughed. "No, that was Nate. So, where's everybody staying? I think we've got enough room here."

"Well, I have to be here, orders." Lavender gave me an apologetic look. "Part of your protection."

_Protection? Oh yeah. Right. Fuck. At least having Lavender as a sister-in-law had its advantages._ "If you're sort of working then no soundproofing spells."

"Soundproofing?" Mom looked at me oddly. "Why would Lavender need soundproofing spells? She's a witch, Hank."

As Lavender began to blush slightly I looked over at John and he was chewing the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. I figured I'd better stay on Lavender's good side. "Um, so that way Lavender and Nate could sleep without hearing Spit bark. You know how he is with Churchill and Virgil."

"I'm sure we'll all make do, noisy dog or not, Hank." Mom nodded. "We'll be just fine. We'll stay out of your way as much as possible. Just remember we're here to help." She reached over and touched Melody on the leg. "And it doesn't matter what it is or what time, remember that."

I felt Mel exhale deeply next to me. She didn't say anything for a while, which made me worried. "Mel, what's wrong?"

"Contraction."

"Holy shit. How far apart?" I moved around to look at her. "Since…"

She shook her head. "First one in a long time. Don't worry about me; I'll let you know when it's time." She looked over to Mom. "Thank you, Karen. I can use the help, especially for the party on Saturday."

_Party on Saturday? What was she…oh bloody hell._ I leaned back into the sofa and put my head on the back. "Muggle Club party. I forgot."

"Muggle Club?" Ted walked into the living room, drying his hands with a dishtowel. "What's that?"

"That's when all of the students in Hank's club about Muggles, you and me, dear, come have a party." Mom looked pleased with herself. "I'm looking forward to it."

I shook my head. "Maybe I should have it at the beginning of next year, this is a bad time. Hieronymus is almost here, y'all are here for a visit…"

"Hieronymus?" Ted started laughing. "You're naming the kid Hieronymus? Are you…"

I saw Jen trying to wave off Ted, but Mom beat me to it, explaining why we'd chosen the name. As I watched everything unfold I realized that if I actually made it to the due date without going crazy or something similarly stupid it would be a minor miracle.


	26. Sam Mungro's

**Chapter 26: Sam Mungro's**

"Professor Muggle?"

I looked over from my chair in the garden to see Willy Smythe standing with a heaping plate of food. "Yes, Willy?"

"Can your mum come over next year for the Muggle Club party? The food is brilliant!"

"I'll tell her you think so. Better yet, tell her yourself, I think she's over there by the drinks table."

I looked over in the general direction of where I thought Mom was and was surprised to see several of my students surrounding her. Mom was sitting down in one of the garden chairs, Lavinia sitting in the grass next to her, and suddenly all the girls began laughing. _Oh shit, what was Mom telling them?_

"Hank, these pictures are going to be wonderful." Hannah Longbottom gave me one of her sly grins. "I got one of Ginny and Melody sitting together, rubbing their bellies." She stopped suddenly and tilted her head, giving me an odd look. "What's wrong? Something's up, isn't it?"

I pointed towards my mom. "Over there. I knew this was a bad idea. She's probably telling them embarrassing stories that I'll never live down." I shook my head and then stopped. "Wait, did you say Ginny? Are Ginny and Harry here?"

"Just Ginny." Hannah giggled mischievously. "She told Harry he was in charge of the boys and just showed up. I think she and Melody are talking badly about their husbands, though, so I'd steer clear for a bit."

"Bad? Like what? I'm a great husband." I pushed my glasses to the top of my head. "I mean, who rubs her feet, gets everything for her when I'm home…" _Shit. That was it._

"There you go, got it now, eh?" Hannah patted me on the shoulder. "I think you're doing great. She's been a bit of a prickly thing the last few months. It's a wonder you still have hair. Well, come to think of it…"

"Thanks, Hannah." I took a deep breath. "You know, they can't say that I don't throw a good Muggle Club party. After all, I supplied the Muggles." I stood there with Hannah for a while, watching everything. As usual the games were out, Muggle music was on in the background and it assumed the manner of a typical party. I looked over to Hannah. "Hey, Hannah, where's your lesser half?"

"Lesser half? I'm telling him you said that. Well, the last I saw of him he was with Melody's mum. From what Melody said Lane's been bothering her to have Neville speak to her gardening club. Can you imagine that, Nev in front of all those society ladies?"

"Actually, yes I can, believe it or not. He'd probably be nervous until he started talking about plants, and then he'll be fine."

Hannah lifted up her camera. "Oh that's a good one. Ok, must be off. I'm the official photographer today. I swear, the things your wife talks me into."

As Hannah left I went over to where my Dad and Ted were sitting, both of them with ice cold beers in their hands. "Hey, I don't think you're supposed to have beer here. Too many underage kids."

Ted pointed his beer bottle at me and took and obvious "ha ha, screw you" drink.

"Don't worry, Hank. Lavender fixed it." Dad smiled. "Cooler has a age spell or something on it. She said that only people over twenty-one could open the lid."

"Want one?" Ted opened the cooler.

While it was tempting, I knew better. I was still technically in charge of students. "Better not. Afterwards, hell yes." I sat down in the empty chair next to Dad. "So what do you think?"

"I think that couple that's getting married here at the house has a long way to go. Then again, they already seem like an old married couple already." Dad gestured slightly over by the shed. "She's been after him for something."

I looked over to where Dad pointed and chuckled. "Half right, Dad. They do act like an old married couple, but they're not the ones getting married. That's Ruby and Carrick, and they've been like that for years now. It's Peter and Franny who are getting married after school. That's them over there."

"Ah. Don't say anything." Dad shook his head wistfully. "Ah to be young and in love."

Ted leaned over. "Just think, Hank, in a few years that's going to be your son, trying out pickup lines on some cute little witch. Still weird to think you're kid's going to go to Hogwarts instead of a regular school, tuning rocks into cats and stuff like that."

"Yeah." I sat there for a while, watching my first year students. "You know, I had a really hard time with that. Wondering if Hieronymus would actually be able to use magic or not."

"That's what your mom said." Dad took a drink of beer. "Now don't get mad, you know your mom. Plus it didn't go unnoticed. Your wife was worried about you. Had a long talk with your mom. It'll be fine."

"I know, Dad. It still scares me, though, having to tell him why he can't go to Hogwarts. I guess I'll cross that bridge when I get there. Really, it doesn't matter, though. No matter what he'll be able to see both sides of things, magic and Muggle."

"Oh yeah." Ted grinned. "Nate and I have plans. Summer vacation back home, we'll make sure he knows about the good stuff."

* * *

The first Monday in June was a complete mess for me. Melody had to make me go back to Hogwarts, as I just knew that Hieronymus was going to arrive the minute I set foot back in the castle and I was bound and determined not to miss anything. I didn't agree with her, and we were on the verge of having a fight when Dad pulled me aside, informing me that he'd been through it more than once and at this point to do whatever she said.

As I sat in my classroom I wasn't happy. My family was over here, everything was about to change and Dad was basically telling me that even though I was almost forty I had to listen to my much younger and pregnant wife. I was still in a crappy mood when my fourth years entered the classroom, all buzzing and chatty about the Muggle Club party and Merlin knows what else. At that point I just wanted them to be quiet. I let them all settle down and looked at my planner; one month left of the term. Thankfully, given all of the unusual interruptions, we were on schedule. I took a deep breath and looked out over my class, all looking up expectantly at me to begin the lesson.

"Ok, class, who can tell me where we left off?" Thankfully one hand went up. "Yes, Mr. Volpone?"

Sebastian had a smirk on his face. "Can you tell us a little bit more about what it was like when you were our age? Your mum told us some stories…"

"Shit." I took off my glasses and walked up toward the front of my desk and sat on the edge. "I'll pay in a minute, Abigail. Can't believe I'm already funding next year's party, I should have known this would come up. All right, what exactly did my mom tell y'all?"

They looked around for a minute at each other and then began to talk pretty much at the same time.

I raised my hand. "Come on, one at a time, y'all know better than that. Fine. Miss Pennyman, what is it?"

The Slytherin girl looked nervous but regained her composure almost immediately. "Is it true that when you were sixteen you tried to start a band?"

I rubbed the bridge of my nose with my fingers for a moment. "Yes, it's true. Three of my friends and I tried to start a band. None of us could really play, and I was probably the worst drummer you've ever heard. We all wore a lot of black, had crazy hair and looking back on it we were all annoying little shits. Pretentious, wouldn't talk to anybody if they didn't like the 'right' bands, stuff like that. Played one show where we were horrible. Well, Johnny wasn't, he could actually play guitar. He quit our band and started playing with another one. That was the end of that."

"What was your band called?" Lavinia smiled at me from her seat next to Willy.

_Oh hell_. "The Dharma Bums. We were really into Jack Kerouac. Ok, now that that's over with, can we get back to the lesson?

Lizzie Little's hand went up. "She told us story about how you bought a necklace for a girl…"

"Oh goddamit." I shook my head. I was going to have to talk to Mom later about telling stories. "Ok, last one. I was in middle school, so it'd be about third year here. I had a girlfriend and I bought her a necklace for her birthday, nothing fancy, but pretty nice. She broke up with me before I could give it to her, so when I started dating another girl I gave her the necklace. We were at a dance and somehow my brother Nate told my girlfriend that I'd bought the necklace for my ex-girlfriend and it all ended badly. Good grief, I can't believe she told y'all that. So you see, I wasn't always the awesome, cool professor you see before you. Yes, you can laugh, I know I'm not awesome or cool, that was a joke. I don't think I've ever been cool. Now, storytime is officially over, let's get to work. You do have final exams coming up, you know, as well as OWLS next year."

When the seventh years arrived in my class I noticed that Peter Sawgrass wasn't there and Franny looked as white as a sheet. After they'd organized themselves into the usual seating arrangement I looked over to Franny.

"Where's Peter?"

"In court."

Her voice was very quiet, and suddenly I saw the outgoing Franny of the last few years disappear into the frightened, shy Franny from my first year at Hogwarts. "Really? When did that happen? And how is he out of class? Doesn't he need parental permission?"

"Oh, he has parental permission." Poesy looked over at me angrily. "His father sent it in."

_Holy shit._ "Wait, his father gave permission from him to leave Hogwarts? He's in court because of his father."

"Exactly." Poesy shook her head. "Cruel."

"When did this happen?" I looked over to Franny, but her head was down and she didn't raise it to answer my question.

Liv Wapping took pity on Franny and put a hand on her arm. "Right after Transfiguration, Professor. Headmaster Titus came down and got him. Professor Boomstraw an' Peter left right after that."

_Boomstraw was helping out? That surprised me, as even though he wasn't my favorite person in the building I didn't think he would be involved. Then again, he was the Slytherin Head of House._ "Holy hell. Ok, I'd planned on doing more NEWT prep today, but I'm sure that's the last thing on everybody's mind. Not fair to do it without Peter here. After I make one announcement y'all are free to go."

I put my glasses back on and wondered if it was the best time to broach the topic, but I knew that they needed something to lift their spirits. "Melody and I have talked, and we'd like all of you to come over to Colony House after school is out for dinner. You're welcome to bring a guest, and it has nothing to do with Hogwarts. Well, in a way, it does. It goes without saying that you lot were the most troublesome bunch I ever taught my first year here. Some of you more than others."

Poesy smiled broadly as the others laughed.

"But now you have not only stopped being a pain in the ass, you've turned into damned good Muggle Studies students. I know Muggle Studies is not as important as Potions or DADA, so the fact that you took my class for your seventh year means something to me. You'll be the first class in what I hope will be a long tradition of NEWT students that will stop by and have dinner at my house. Now that'll be after the term ends, so you'll have something to look forward to besides NEWTS being over, losing house points and all that stuff. Ok, now go on, get out of here and do something studious or fun, you pick. Franny, if I could have a word?"

As they left Franny got up slowly from her seat and headed up towards me, head down and clutching her textbook closely to her chest with both arms. Liv also stood next to her, but with a different book.

"Three sickles."

I pulled out all of the money in my pocket and put it on my desk. "Just take it out of there, Liv."

She pulled out the money, placed it in the hollowed out book and left the classroom. After she was more than a few feet away I looked over to Franny. "I know you're worried, but this is part of it, the worry and not knowing how things will turn out. My mom always says that things turn out the way they do for a reason, even if we don't understand it at the time. Franny, look at me."

She lifted her head up slowly.

"Franny, I know it's hard, but things will turn out ok. You just have to have faith. Even if the court thing doesn't go your way life goes on. I know it might suck for a while, but what's more important to you, Peter or the land? I think you know the answer."

She nodded and gave me a weak smile. After she'd walked out I sat down at my desk and scooped up the remaining money that I hadn't spent on curse words. I knew I was really going to miss the seventh years next September.

* * *

By Wednesday I was a nervous wreck. Neville had decided that part of his job as godfather was to keep me semi-sane, so we played a lot of cards. He tried to teach me exploding snap but that ended horribly with me spilling a drink all over myself so after a miserable attempt at teaching him poker we finally settled on hearts. Calliope was sent off twice a day for status reports, and by Tuesday Melody sent me a letter back that, quite testily, told me to shut up and wait. Mom also sent a note back telling me that they were all enjoying their visit and not to worry, which had the effect of making me worry. A lot.

Peter's news was that he had no news. The decision would come soon, but they had no idea when. That didn't help my mood, and on Thursday morning I went down to breakfast as usual, my mind preoccupied about Melody and just sort of picked at my breakfast. Nonky even stopped by to ask if my food wasn't prepared properly, but I told him it was fine, I was just nervous about the baby arriving. That led to Nonky telling me all kinds of things that he could do to help out, which made me even more nervous. Just what I needed, my parents, Lane and Nonky all trying to help at once. I was trying to psych myself up to do a good job in class because, to be honest, I hadn't been doing a very good job that week, when Titus came over to my table in a hurry.

"What is it? Is it time?" I stood up. "I need to go…"

He put his hand on my shoulder. "No, Professor, I'm afraid not. But there is an urgent Floo call for you in my office from Ron Weasley."

_Ron? Oh holy hell, this couldn't be happening._ "Ok, ok, I…thanks." I nodded at Titus and took off out of the Great Hall at a somewhat brisk pace, as I didn't want to let on to the rest of Hogwarts what was going on.

When I arrived at Titus' office I could see Ron's head in the green flames but he was talking to someone else.

"I know, that's why I'm Flooing him. Yes, of course. Five more minutes, and if he doesn't show up…"

"Ron, I'm here, what is it?" I knelt down by the fireplace, sweaty from the running I'd done once I'd made it out of the Great Hall. "This is shitty timing, you know."

"Right, Hank. Yes, it is shitty timing. Rolf's lot found another professor, this time in Wales.

"Holy shit. So now what?"

"We thought you should know since you know some of these professors. That's about it, really. We're heading to Wales now, but you have to stay put. Melody's about to pop and you can't go, if that's what your asking."

"Fuck me. Who is it, can you tell me that?"

"We don't know yet, Hank. We'll keep you informed. If we need you at the Ministry we'll contact you. That's as far as Robards will allow. He knows the baby could come at any time."

"Ok, fine. Wish you hadn't bothered until it was done." I shook my head, angry. _I should have been with them!_ "Dammit, it's not…"

"Hank. You're not an Auror. You know that. Just sit tight, we'll tell you if anything happens. Ok, I have to go now. We'll let you know, ok?"

Before I could say anything Ron's head disappeared from the green flames. I sat there for a moment before I could muster the energy to stand. When I finally did I felt a multitude of things at once; gratitude that even though I wasn't an Auror that Ron felt that I was involved enough to contact me, irritated that I couldn't go help and grateful that I didn't have to go as Melody actually could go into labor at any time. More than anything, though, I wished I had a cigar or a cigarette. Yes, I knew that it was bad for me but at times like that I just needed to unwind. A bad habit, obviously, but with the way my nerves were I would take anything that would help.

When I made it back down to the Great Hall my system was finally starting to come back to normal. The hall had started to clear, as breakfast was almost finished, so I decided to have another cup of tea to calm my nerves. I was almost through that cup when Titus showed up at the table.

"Thanks, Gavin, I appreciate you letting me borrow your Floo."

He looked agitated, excited and about ten other things at the same time. "No Hank, that's not it. I just got an owl from Melody. You're to meet her at St. Mungo's as soon as possible!"

"What? I stood up, knocking my teacup over and spilling what remained on the table. "How soon? When? I…I'm using your Floo!"

"Go, go, my boy!"

Gavin waved me off and once again I headed to the Headmaster's office, this time not caring if anyone saw me running. I half slid into his desk as I made it into the office, jumped in the fireplace and grabbed a rather large pinch of Floo powder. Throwing it down as fast as possible I yelled "Sam Mungro's!"

The moment I arrived I realized that I definitely was _not _in St. Mungo's, I was someplace different altogether. The building looked dilapidated, as if it was on the verge of falling down. Cobwebs were all over the place and a thick layer of dust covered the furniture that I could see before me. I took a cautious step out of the fireplace and looked around. "Hello? Anybody here?"

Nobody answered. At that moment I realized that in my haste to go to hospital I'd said the wrong thing. The first time I'd ever been introduced to Floo powder, my first year at Hogwarts, Neville had warned me that I had to enunciate clearly. It was obvious from my location that I had not done that. I figured it would be as easy to get to St. Mungo's as it had been to arrive at wherever the hell I was; all I had to do was throw down some Floo powder and say the right name. The problem, though, was that in my current location there was no Floo powder to be found. _Fuck_.

My mind was racing, as I knew that Melody was at the hospital right this very minute giving birth to our son and I was missing it. One of the most important moments of my life, of our marriage, and I was fucking missing it. I wished I could actually cast a patronus and send it off to someone, anyone, and tell them I was lost and needed help, but there was no way in hell that I could actually cast a patronus. Shit, I'd only done two spells my entire life and both of them were by accident. Neither of them could help me at this point unless I wanted to set something on fire or shield someone, and that wouldn't work in my current situation.

For some reason a conversation I'd had with Harry shot to the forefront of my mind. A long time ago I'd asked him how he'd managed to get out of situations that looked bleak, and he'd responded that he tried to keep a level head and think things through. That sounded like great advice, but I didn't know how the hell he managed to do that as a kid because I was nearing forty and was freaking out about what to do. Then again, Harry actually was a wizard, not to mention Harry freaking Potter, so he had a bit more skills than even I do now.

I took a deep breath and began winding my way through the building, eventually finding a set of stairs that led up to some door that was closed. I lifted up the door and when it moved I was grateful; there was no way that I'd be able to get out of the place if the door was locked. After making my way to what I assumed was the ground floor I once again found myself in a dusty, run-down and obviously abandoned building. The remnants of a bar stood against the far wall, as a couple of stools still stood as if ready to serve customers. A few tables still remained, dusty items lying haphazardly across their surfaces, sometimes with chairs. A dusty haze filtered in through the far wall, so I figured that was the front door with the windows. As I made my way over there my foot almost went through a rotten floorboard, causing me to swear. The noise caused something to skitter away in the shadows, and I figured it was best if I didn't know exactly what it was. Regardless, I pulled out my wand, just in case. Luckily I didn't have to use it as I found the door exactly where I thought it would be, but it was locked.

In all of the Muggle movies I'd seen, especially those with cops, there was always a scene where the officers broke down a door by lowering their shoulder and running into it. Obviously my mind wasn't working at peak capacity, with the stress and unfamiliar location, not to mention the fact that I kept imagining Melody in labor asking for me, so I figured it was the best thing to do. I went back about ten yards away and tried to remember high school football. As fast as I could I ran at the door, shoulder lowered, and hit the door at full speed.

Instead of breaking away as the doors did in the movies the door stood still as if I hadn't even touched it. The only thing that had actually happened was a searing pain in my shoulder, which I knew was messed up somehow. Now I was not only frantic but in pain, so I reverted back to even older movies, the cowboy movies. I went over to the bar, grabbed a stool and threw it through one of the giant windows that flanked the door. The crash was deafening as the glass shattered; light streamed through the open space where the glass used to be. I stepped over the wood casing of the window and soon found myself in a small, cobblestone street.

The witch who stood on the other side of the street, holding her packages, looked at me as if I was a monster from the old Universal movies. At first she stood motionless but eventually she dropped her packages and held her wand out in front of her in a defensive posture.

"Don't take another step!"

I held up my hands. "I'm sorry, I'm supposed to be at St. Mungo's but I screwed up the Floo. My wife's having a baby and I have to get there as soon as possible. Where am I?"

"Oh my." She put her wand away and picked up her packages. "You're a long way from St. Mungo's, lad. You're in Aberdeen."

"Aberdeen? Fuck! Oh, sorry." I ran my hand through my hair, almost pulling some out in the process. "Can you tell me where I can take the Floo or something else? I have to get there now!"

"Of course. Follow me." She motioned with her head down the street and I jogged over to her.

"I'm sorry, ma'am, I must have said the wrong thing."

She laughed politely. "Yes, well, you wouldn't be the first. Old Sam used to have a running pool in the pub, first time fathers have done that before. That was before Samuel passed, though. Been years since that pub was open. They really need to turn off the Floo. Never mind that, we'll just head down to the library."

I nodded. "Thank you, ma'am. If I miss it I'll never forgive myself. Or hear the end of it."

She patted me on the arm. "You'll be fine. My Alexander was the same way for our first. By the fourth he was an old hand. Best advice I can give you is to remain calm, hard as it is to do, especially the first time. You need to be an island of calm for her, trust me. Here we are, then. Good luck."

We stood outside the library and I held out my hand. "Thank you, ma'am. I'm Hank Boyd, I teach at Hogwarts. Please send me an owl so I can thank you properly. I'm sorry, I'm so rude, I didn't catch your name."

"That's because I didn't throw it. Bernice McNulty. Never mind me, go to your wife. And remember, calm, calm, calm. She'll have enough to do without worrying about you."

* * *

When I arrived at St. Mungo's I was frantic; I was sure I'd missed everything. I ran up to the reception witch and asked about Melody in a rather loud voice. Before the witch could even respond I heard my name and turned around to see Lane and my Mom in the reception area.

"Mom! Lane! Where is she, what's going on?" I stopped suddenly because both of them seemed as cool as cucumbers. "What…"

"False alarm, Henry." Lane smiled at me. "She's in there now with Healer Berfic. It's not unusual, nothing to be worried about."

"What happened to you? You look filthy." Mom cocked her head at me.

"Long story, let's just say that I was nervous when I took the Floo and didn't end up where I was supposed to. If it wasn't for Bernice McNulty in Aberdeen I don't know what would have happened. Oh, and I probably owe some money for a broken window, but fuck that right now. Where's Mel?"

One of the Healers was waiting for me to finish and took me by the arm to lead me towards Melody's room. Once I got there Healer Berfic took one look at me and laughed.

"I'm sure this is an interesting story."

I nodded. "Oh yeah, a great one." I went over to Mel and kissed her. "Are you ok, love?"

She smiled. "Yes, Hank, I'm fine. False alarm. But it could be any time now."

I felt a hand on my shoulder and saw Healer Berfic, but instead of her usual smirking demeanor she was very comforting. "It's quite all right, Professor. She's fine and so's the boy. Go home and rest, both of you."

When we walked back into the reception area Mom and Lane met us with reassuring smiles. Luckily I had no problem saying Colony House to head home, and Lane took Mom back by side-along. Everybody was waiting for us when we arrived, and after reassuring my family that it was only a false alarm I finally began to come down off of the frantic mood that I'd been feeling. It was about fifteen minutes after coming back home that I realized that I was supposed to be teaching.

"I'd better send Titus an owl. Mel, do you think I should go back or stay here? I think I should stay."

She bit her lip for a second and then put her hand on her belly. "If you could stay that would be…"

"I'm staying."

The owl from Titus came back almost immediately agreeing with my decision. Gavin informed me that instead of having a substitute he'd decided to teach the class himself that day, but that Arthur Weasley would take up the classes for the rest of the time. The moment I read the name Weasley, though, I remembered Ron's head in the fireplace. I looked around the house but Lavender was nowhere to be found.

"Um, where's Lavender?"

Nate pointed outside. I followed his gesture and looked out the window to see Lavender waving her wand around in intricate motions, what I took to be reinforcing the wards or adding more.

* * *

Even though the wonderfully kind Mrs. McNulty said I should be calm I wasn't, not at all. I was on edge, waiting to hear from Ron or Harry or somebody. I didn't want to tell Melody, as I didn't want to worry her, but she knew me well enough to know that something was up. Over Mom's freshly baked apple pie I told her and everybody else about Ron's Floo communication, that they'd found another missing professor. Dad thought it sounded like good news, but when I looked over at Lavender she kept a straight face and betrayed nothing.

Everyone had settled into a normal evening routine except for me, as I was still on pins and needles until I could hear something about the missing professor. Finally, as we were almost ready to head to bed I heard a knock on the door. Nate looked over at me and I shrugged. Lavender, however, had her wand out at the ready. I took a look through the peephole in the door and saw Harry. I could feel the tension leave my shoulders as I went to open the door, but Lavender put her hand on the doorknob.

"Lavender, its Harry."

"Right." She shook her head and me and kept her wand pointed at the door. In a very loud voice she shouted "What did Robards say to me at the party after I joined the Aurors?"

Behind the door I could hear Harry laugh. "He said you were going to be a pain to schedule because of the moon phases, and he cheated his way through that class."

Lavender opened the door and Harry walked in. "Sorry to bother everyone at this hour, but I knew Hank would want to hear the news." He stood just inside the doorway. "Normally I would just tell Hank but obviously everyone knows. She's safe, Hank. We have Stephanie Morgan from Houdini at the Ministry now. She's a little shaken but besides that there aren't any injuries. Our Healers are checking her out now, just to make sure."

"Good. She's a nice lady; she definitely didn't deserve this shit. So what now, Harry? And how did it go down? What happened?"

Harry shook his head. "We'll tell you later, nothing for you to worry about. You've got other things to think of. We're fine. Let the Aurors take care of it."

I was about to complain when Mom interrupted. "Harry, would you like a piece of apple pie? Still warm."

He laughed. "Thank you, perhaps another time, Mrs. Boyd."

"How many times have I told you, Harry, just call me Karen. Now I know you're just being polite, I'll wrap up a couple of pieces for you and Ginny. Won't take but a moment."

Late that night, after Harry had left with his pie and everybody else had retired for the evening, Melody and I were in bed, both of us tired but nowhere close to being sleepy.

"Hank?"

"Mmm? Yeah?"

"Where was it that you ended up again?"

"Aberdeen. Apparently there's an old pub there called Sam Mungro's. Guess I'm not the first first-time father to end up there. Pub's closed now, though. Did I tell you I had to break a window to get out?"

Melody's arm went around my waist. "No, you left that out. Mum was worried about you but your father said not to worry, you'd figure it out."

I smoothed her hair back from her head. "Yeah, that's Dad for you. He also said that when I started at Hogwarts, that I'd figure things out if left alone long enough. I think I did pretty well on that one, don't you?"

"Yes, I do." It was after a long pause when she spoke again. "Are you tired at all? Maybe a bit hungry?"

"Yeah, definitely tired, but I'm not hungry. You're thinking about that piece of apple pie that's left, aren't you?"

"No, I'm not. Ok, yes I am. I'll be back in a minute. Don't wait for me; go to sleep if you want to."

I rolled over and fluffed up the pillow to its optimal density and stretched out, pushing one foot off of the end of the bed. Was I tired? Hell yes, I was exhausted. I was just about asleep when I heard the sound of something breaking in the kitchen and bolted straight up in bed. I waited a second, in case it was just an accident, in which case I'd hear Melody doing something, but instead I heard my name. Melody calling my name, loudly, and in pain.

I hit the kitchen almost the same time as my sister and my Mom, and all of us saw Melody standing against the kitchen counter, both hands on the counter and leaning over.

"Mel?" I walked over to her and put my hand on her back. "Another false alarm?"

Jennifer took one look and shook her head. "No dipshit, it's time. Her water just broke."


	27. And Then There Were Three

**Chapter 27: And Then There Were Three**

You would have thought with all the respective baby-having people in my house that they would have been orderly, prepared and completely old hats at the 'taking the woman having the baby to the hospital" thing. That definitely wasn't the case, because they all started acting like complete idiots. In other words, they all acted exactly like I did earlier when I ended up in some abandoned bar in Aberdeen, freaking out and doing stupid shit. Nate actually walked into the doorframe. I thought back to Bernice McNulty and realized if things stayed like this…well, that wouldn't do at all.

"Ok, everybody STOP!" I held up my hand and watched all of my present family members freeze in place. "Jen, go get the hospital bag, it's in our bedroom on the chair by the door. Grab Mel's robe and slippers too, please. Lavender, can you Floo Lane? Wait, she won't be up. Nonky?"

With his usual 'pop' Nonky arrived in the kitchen. "Yes, Professor, can Nonky…"

I watched as the house elf realized exactly what was going on and fainted dead away on the kitchen floor. "Oh hell, nice timing, Nonky. Mom, can you bring him around, please? When he wakes up have him go to Forthingsgate and tell Lane's house elf that she needs to wake up and meet us at St. Mungo's."

As Mom went over to wake up Nonky everybody else stumbled into the kitchen, some more wide awake than others. "Ted, go get me some clothes, I don't care what. Nate, send an owl off to Titus at Hogwarts. One to Neville as well. Got that? Right."

As they all took off for their respective tasks Mel took a hold of my arm and proceeded to squeeze the hell out of it. I put my hand on her back and it felt as all of her muscles were trying to exit her body. "Mel, honey? Let's get you to St. Mungo's."

"Shut. Up. You. Arsehole." Mel's eyes bored into me. "Never. Doing. Again."

Jennifer arrived with the robe and slippers, so after she sat the slippers down on the floor I leaned down and put Melody's feet in them. After draping her robe around her shoulders I stood up and took the shorts, polo shirt and flip-flops from Ted and threw them on quickly. "Ok, Mel, we're going to hospital now. Let's walk over to the fireplace."

Lavender looked at me with skepticism. "Sure you don't want me to take her, Hank?"

"Shut it, Lavender, I've got this. Ok, just a bit further." We stepped into the fireplace. "Sorry, Lavender, I need your help; you're the only one with magic here."

Dad came up between Lavender and Jennifer. "We'll manage it here, you go on. Go."

As Melody had my arm in a death grip I reached over, pulled out a normal size pinch of Floo powder and said, very clearly, "St. Mungo's."

The moment we arrived at St. Mungo's Mel's grip on my arm lessened dramatically. I took her hand. "How're you doing? Is that one over?'

She pushed her hair out of her face with her free hand. "Yes. I'm doing the bloody pain spells, Muggle drugs or anything else. Come on, we have to check in."

"Right, right." We walked towards the reception area where the witch on duty was already waiting for us with a wheelchair.

"In you go, Mrs. Boyd. I'll take you up now. Mr. Boyd, if you would wait for the next receptionist to do your final paperwork, please? It'll just be a signature and then you can join her."

I helped ease Melody into the chair and then gave her a kiss. "I'll be right there."

Before she could answer the Healer whisked her away, leaving me standing in the reception area by myself. It was at that time when I realized that Ted had literally grabbed the first things he could find in my wardrobe because my shorts were patchwork madras plaid and I was wearing a red and blue striped polo shirt. "Holy shit."

"You're not the first father to say that, you know." The young Healer pulled back her dark hair and smiled. "And I'm not surprised that you said it, Professor."

"Sorry." I adjusted my glasses. "I have to sign something?"

"Yes, but it's not here just yet, coming up in a moment." She tilted her head. "You probably don't remember me. I wasn't in your classes."

"No, sorry. Can't say that I do." I shifted my weight back and forth. _Where was that damn form?_ "When did you leave Hogwarts?"

"I was a seventh year when you first started teaching Muggle Studies. Ravenclaw. Maggie Benjamin."

"Nice to meet you, Maggie. Is that form…"

A bright green paper airplane zoomed in through the doorway, over a Healer walking down the hallway and bobbed impatiently in front of Maggie. She plucked it out of the air and as soon as her hand touched the paper it unfolded into an official hospital parchment. It was very obvious where I had to sign as a large "X" was in red and took up half of the page.

"A pen, quill, anything?" I looked over and saw a quill. Great, not my favorite writing utensil, but I really didn't give a shit. "Sign at the big "X" I take it?"

"Yes, Professor. We do it that size because of nerves, things like that."

I scribbled my name as best I could with a quill, and the moment I'd finished writing the parchment folded itself back into a paper airplane and zoomed away.

Maggie took me by the arm. "Ok, time to go help your wife."

"Right, let's go."

* * *

When I arrived at the room Melody was lying in the bed, looking incredibly peaceful. "How're you doing? You seem really, um, calm."

Healer Berfic, her hair somewhat messy and in a plain blue robe smiled at me. "The contractions are still spaced a little far apart. Based on Melody's previous experience we think it might be a while. Make yourself comfortable." She took out her wand and conjured me a more comfortable chair than the standard issue St. Mungo's type. "I'll be back in soon to check on progress."

Melody lifted her hands and began braiding two long, large pigtails on each side of her head. "I need to keep my hair out of the way. What in Merlin's name are you wearing?"

"Blame Ted. I think I've got a change of clothes in the hospital bag, I'll switch." I went over to the bag and pulled out a grey polo shirt. I had the striped shirt off and was bare-chested when I heard a knock on the door.

"Oh, so sorry, Hank. Nothing I haven't seen before, I am a Healer."

I pulled the shirt over my head to see Audrey Weasley standing before us in her Healer's robes looking as fresh as a daisy. "Is this your normal shift?"

She shook her head. "No, Healer Berfic agreed that I should come in whenever it was time, since you can't do the shielding spells."

_Oh hell, shielding spells. Right._ "Um, how bad will it…"

"You'll be fine, Hank. Don't worry. Now, Melody, Healer Berfic said it may be a little while, so is there anything I can get you?"

"Some water, please? I suppose some cheese and onion crisps are out, right?" She looked over at Audrey hopefully, but I probably didn't help matters by laughing. "Oh, and Audrey? Can you remove this complete git from my room, please?"

"He's on the approved list, Melody, so he can stay. The crisps aren't on the list, but I can bring you some water. I'll be back in a moment."

After she left I looked over to Mel. "Sorry I laughed, love. It's just the whole cheese and onion crisps thing, how you told me, you know…"

"Yes, Hank, I know. I don't want you to leave, just behave." She finished her pigtail braids and drummed her fingers on her very large belly. "So now what? I just wait? Can't they give me something to move things along?"

"There you are!" Lane appeared at the door, followed closely behind by my mother. Lane went to the open side of the bed. "How far apart are they? And what have you done to your hair?"

"My hair is fine, Mum. They were fairly close and now they've spaced out again. It may be a while." She looked over at my mom. "You never told me, Karen. How long did Hank…"

"Sixteen hours." Mom cringed. "He had awkward shoulders according to my doctor."

"Sixteen bloody hours?" Melody gave me one of 'those' looks. "I'm going to…oooh, when this is over…"

Lane gave me an apologetic smile. "Henry, it might be a good time to visit with your family in the waiting room."

I didn't want to leave but when I saw Mom give me a series of very small and quick nods I agreed. I leaned over and kissed Melody on the forehead. "I'll be back soon, sweetie."

She muttered "sixteen hours" under her breath in an irritated tone of voice and I took that as a sign to leave the room for a bit.

* * *

When I got out to the waiting room it wasn't just my family, though, as it seemed that a dinner party at Colony House had broken out. Neville and Hannah Longbottom were visiting with Ted, Jen and John sat with Percy Weasley and Dad stood next to Arthur and Molly Weasley. "Holy shit, how did y'all get here so fast?"

That was the sign for everyone to crowd around and ask questions, and I tried to answer them all. Melody was doing fine although she was a bit testy. According to Healer Berfic it was going to take quite some time. No, I didn't know exactly when. Yes, I had changed shirts, and no, it wasn't me, it was Ted who picked it out. Finally when they'd all settled down somewhat I found myself next to Percy.

"I take it once Audrey was contacted you set the wheels in motion?"

He fidgeted with his glasses for a moment. "Yes, it was me. Mum gave me strict orders."

"Don't worry, I'm not surprised. Just look at this as a preview; won't be long before Audrey's in there and not as a Healer but a patient."

"Very true, Hank, very true. You probably should get back in there, shouldn't you?" A smirk spread across his face. "Or are you going to step outside for a quick smoke?"

"Hey! Piss off, Percy." I laughed. "Don't tempt me. You are right, though, I do probably need to get back."

He patted me on the shoulder somewhat stiffly. "I'm sure you'll do splendidly."

As I headed back to the room I thought back to when James Potter was born, all of the Weasleys as well as people like, well, me, hanging around. Then there was the press, especially the press, trying to get news and pictures. I knew that wouldn't happen with me and Melody as I'm barely newsworthy outside of Hogwarts, for the most part. At least Mel and I would just have family and friends about when Hieronymus arrived.

After opening the door to the room I saw Melody sleeping, of all things. Mom and Lane were sitting in the corner, sipping tea and talking quietly. I checked out Mel briefly and then knelt down next to Mom. "What's going on? Is she supposed to be sleeping?"

Mom gave me a little smile and patted me on the shoulder. "She needs her rest. The contractions weren't coming like they wanted so they gave her a potion to help her sleep for a while."

I moved Mom's hand off of my shoulder. "What the hell is it with everybody patting me? Jesus."

"They're just trying to help you, Henry." Lane gave me a weak smile.

I stood up and shook my head at the two of them, so different but completely united in the goal of a grandchild. Mom in her Capri pants, flip-flops and long-sleeved t-shirt while Lane looked completely put-together in heels, grey pants with a matching cotton twinset. "You two are plotting against me, I can tell. What is it, what am I doing wrong?" I stood up, irritated. "Somehow it's my fault Hieronymus isn't coming on schedule, is it?"

"Henry!" Mom said it rather hushed, but still sounded annoyed. "We are not plotting against you, why would you say that? And you haven't done anything wrong. First babies are always difficult."

"And every pregnancy is different." Lane tilted her head towards me. "Henry…Hank, you have done nothing wrong. This is not like you. I know you are tired, nervous, and you've been worrying about more things than you need to."

"You're absolutely right, Lane." Mom agreed with my mother-in-law and then turned to me. "Hank, you've had Melody and the baby, not to mention all the things with Harry and Ron, your students, that party because of your language and a party for your Muggle Club at the house. You've been doing too much and you just need to settle down. Maybe you ought to take some of that sleeping stuff, too."

"Fine. Whatever." I went over to the bag I'd packed for Melody and pulled out her WUMP. After fitting the headphones in I told it to play me something soothing, sat down in the chair next to Melody's bed and closed my eyes. _Telling me I'd been doing too much, that I was just nervous and tired. Whatever._

I must have fallen asleep, because I don't remember sitting there in the chair with Melody pulling my hair. That's how I woke up, though, in pain because Melody had a hand over the side of the bed, pulling on what is left of my hair with her left hand. That tends to wake a person up quite rapidly.

"Ow, ow, holy fucking shit, ow!" I put my hand on my head to pull her off of my hair and instead she grabbed onto my hand for all she was worth.

"Hank. Wake. Up. NOW!"

I stood up, my hand still in her vise-like grip, and looked up to see sweat pouring down her forehead. A quick glance around the room revealed not only Audrey Weasley but Healer Berfic; Lane and my mom were nowhere to be seen. After taking my free hand and maneuvering my hand in Melody's to a more comfortable position that wouldn't complete break my fingers I stood over her. "You're doing great, Mel."

Berfic glanced at Audrey. "It's time."

Audrey drew out her wand and began making an intricate, slow loop around not only me but Melody, and I felt as if for a moment I'd walked into sheets that had been hung out on the line to dry. It was the same quick sense of something damp against my body all at the same time, but as soon as I felt it the feeling melted away.

Almost immediately after the feeling of the spell subsided Melody lessened her grip on my hand until we were simply holding hands as usual. "Mel, love, how are you doing?"

She took a series of deep breaths. "I'm…I don't know what I am, Hank. I hope you're rested now, Audrey says we're on the home stretch."

"Home stretch?" I looked over at the clock on the far wall. "What the fuck? It's five in the morning? How long did you let me sleep? And how long did you sleep? When did the contractions start in?"

"About fifteen minutes ago, Hank, that's when they really started. I slept until about three, and then had some off and on. It's just now that they…"

Once again she grabbed my hand and began to squeeze it with all of her strength. It was at that point that things became an absolute blur, as time seemed to stretch out forever but at the same time everything was compressed so that it happened simultaneously. Healer Berfic was there, talking softly, encouraging Mel. Audrey stood by and helped wipe sweat from Melody's head, and I kept talking to her while I was sure that at least two of my fingers were broken. All sounds seemed to be amplified, and I could hear almost the slightest thing.

And then I heard the most amazing thing, the cry of a baby. Our baby.

"It's a boy!" Healer Berfic held him up for us to see, and then Audrey wrapped him quickly in a light blue blanket. Melody was red-faced and sweaty but she was crying happy tears. I thanked Audrey for remembering the Muggle implements and cut the umbilical cord, which felt like I was cutting some very thick pasta. And then I took a look at them, Melody and Hieronymus, squalling loudly in his little blanket on her chest.

When Audrey took Hieronymus away to clean him up and do all the usual tests I leaned over and gave Melody a giant kiss. "You were amazing. I still can't believe you let me sleep that long. You are the most beautiful woman in the world right now, do you know that?" I took off my glasses and wiped the tears away quickly. "We're parents, Mel."

"Professor?" Healer Berfic laid a hand on my arm. "We still have a few things to do here. Why don't you go with Healer Weasley? After she's finished with your son you can show him to the family. You did a good job."

"Me? I didn't do shit, she did all the work. She should get all the praise." I looked over to Mel for a moment and she waved me off and then sank back into the bed. "Ok, thank you, I'll be back soon. Can I come back in when we're done?"

"I'll let you know, Professor."

I followed Audrey's path out of the room by a different door and we made my way to the nursery area. I watched Hieronymus get weighed and measured, they took his handprints and footprints, and then Audrey waved her wand over him for another series of tests. She gave him a very quick cleaning, wrapped him in a little blue blanket and put a small blue stocking cap on his head. After what seemed an eternity she exited the room and smiled at me, beaming.

"Would you like to hold your son, Hank?"

"Oh yeah." As she put him in my arms I couldn't believe it. After everything that had happened and all the waiting, he was here. "Hey there Hieronymus, I'm your dad. We've been waiting for you for a long time. There's a lot of people waiting to meet you." I peeked underneath his little hat to see a smattering of reddish-blonde hair. "You take that after me. Hopefully you'll get your magic from your mom, sorry, your mum, but it doesn't matter, really. We're just glad you're here."

The sounds of soft crying brought me out of my amazed concentration on my son and I looked over to see Audrey wiping her eyes.

"I'm so emotional lately. Percy's been so good about it. He's beautiful, Hank, why don't you go show him off?"

* * *

When I walked into the waiting room with Hieronymus in my arms I couldn't believe the number of people in the waiting room. "It's a boy, he's here!"

At that point I was surrounded by people, and laughed as Mom and Lane practically pushed people out of the way to get over to their new grandson. As everybody congratulated me I saw one person in particular, and I knew I wanted her to be the first person to hold Hieronymus. "Lavinia? Would you like to hold him?" I gently lifted him down towards her, and she took him in her arms very slowly but also effortlessly.

When Lavinia was seated Jen and Hermione sat next to her, looking at Hieronymus and talking about his hair. I took a few steps over to Neville. After I shook his hand I kept a hold of it for a moment. "Thought she wasn't supposed to leave without guardian permission?"

Neville let go of my hand and cleared his throat. "Yes, well, you signed that permission slip the other day."

_What?_ "I didn't sign anything."

"There's a permission slip that has your name on it. I found it on my desk one day and turned it into Titus."

"What would I do without you, Neville?" He opened his mouth and I laughed. "Don't answer that. Seriously, don't answer that."

Lavinia didn't keep Hieronymus long, as Lane took him first, and then my parents; Mom first, of course. I noticed flashes going off and wasn't surprised to see Hannah Longbottom with her camera. It was funny when Dad walked over to her with Hieronymus in his arms and asked her to trade, and soon Hermione came over and took a picture of Neville and Hannah with Hieronymus.

I felt a hand on my arm and turned to see Healer Berfic. "How is she? Is she ok? Is she awake? Can I…"

Berfic started laughing. "Yes, Professor. She's awake and doing well. You can go in now. Try to limit the number of guests, please. I do want her to get some rest."

When I walked in to Melody's room she looked more tired than at any point in our lives together. I sat down on the edge of the bed and kissed her. "You were amazing. I still can't believe it. And why'd you let me sleep so long?"

She smiled tiredly. "I wanted to make sure you missed most of the 'magic stuff' as you call it. Better for you that you were asleep. Besides, I have ammunition."

"Ammunition? What do you mean?"

"Whenever I'm too tired to get him all I have to do is remind you that you slept though most of it."

_Oh shit. I was never going to live that down, but I really didn't care._ "That's fine, really. I have no problem getting up to get him for feeding or changing or whatever. Do you want to know who the first person who held him was? You'll never guess."

"It has to be either my mum or yours." She scrunched up her nose. "I might have said some horrible things to both of them at one point. Might have to apologize."

"No, not them. I'm sure they'll understand no matter what you said. Lavinia was the first person to hold Hieronymus besides us and Audrey."

"Lavinia?" She got teary and wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her hospital gown. "Oh Hank, how did that happen?"

"Well, I decided. I was holding him and…"

"Hank, no. Not that. How did Lavinia get here?"

I laughed. "Neville. Forged a permission slip with my name on it. She's not the only one out there, though; it's a crowd. If you don't want to see them…"

"Oh no, it's ok." She moved her pigtail braids and very, very gingerly started to move to a more upright position.

"Here, let me do that." I picked up a pillow and put it behind her back, making it easier for her to be upright. "How's that?"

"You're a bit big and ugly for a house elf, but you'll do. You can let them in, and tell Hannah no pictures. I must look horrid."

"Mel, you look absolutely beautiful." I kissed her. "I'll tell Hannah to let you get fixed up before the pictures, will that work?"

She nodded. "I need to send out owls. Penny and JoJo…"

I waved her off. "Just rest and visit, I'll take care of that. Be right back."

When I re-entered the waiting room Jennifer was holding Hieronymus, doing the parental sway back and forth that seemed every parent knew, and I did as an uncle, but now it would be as a parent. I went over to Jen and peeked over her shoulder to see my son sleeping soundly in his little blanket. "Did we do ok, Jen?"

My normally sarcastic sister was anything but that way. "Yes, Hank, you guys did a great job. He's beautiful. I take it you'd like him back now?"

"Oh yeah." I took him back from Jen, and the sudden movement startled him, and for a second or two his little arms twitched, but almost as fast as it happened he settled down again. "Mom, Lane, everybody? Melody said she's ready to see people, so if…"

I didn't have a chance to finish as they all started walking towards the room with the exception of Dad. He came over and put his arm around me.

"Amazing, isn't it? I felt the same way when you and your sister and brothers were born. You'll be a great father, Hank."

"I hope so, Dad. I really haven't had a lot of preparation."

"Bullshit." Dad laughed. "Your niece and nephew, Lavinia, all those kids at Hogwarts…this may be the first baby that you'll have from the beginning, but you already act like a father to those kids. Especially Lavinia. Don't know if I ever really told you, but I'm very proud of you and Melody for taking her in like that. I knew Melody would be good for you."

"Thanks. We'd better get in there with him, he's starting to squirm. Might be hungry."

"Oh, trust me, Hank. You'll know when he's hungry."

Once I put Hieronymus in his mother's arms he decided that yes, Dad's comment notwithstanding, he was definitely hungry. Hermione shooed all of the men out of the room and after they'd left I looked over to her, confused.

"Where's Rosie?"

"She's with Ginny. We're taking shifts, I took the early one and Ginny will be by later. I know Ron would want to be here, but…"

All of the sudden I felt completely drained, physically and mentally. The high of Hieronymus' birth, and the focus on him and Melody, was abruptly whisked away and I remembered the missing professors and everything else.

"Hank, are you all right?" Hermione gave me a look out of the corner of her eyes. "You aren't going to pass out, are you?"

I took off my glasses. "No, Hermione, I'm fine. It's just that from the moment we've been here I haven't thought about anything else but Melody and Hieronymus. When you mentioned Ron it brought back everything else."

"Oh no, I'm sorry, Hank. Don't worry about any of that. I'm sure Ron and Harry, as well as the rest of the Aurors, have everything under control. There's nothing you need to worry about."

"Oh fuck! The animals!" I looked over to Melody. "We forgot about the animals. Spit has to be going nuts by now, and…"

Hermione shook her head. "Taken care of, Hank. I owled Edith. She's taken care of your animals before. She's also at Colony House now, making sure everything is ready for you."

I took a look at my watch. "Merlin's pants, it's almost nine? I need to send out some owls, and then there's getting my notes ready for Arthur to teach Muggle Studies. Lavinia needs to go back, and…"

The door opened, revealing George Weasley's head with his hand over his eyes. "Is it safe yet?"

I looked over to Melody and saw her shake her head positively. "Yes, George, it's safe. Come on in."

When the door opened fully George walked in, pulling a massive amount of balloons behind him. He placed the little weighted part that the balloons were tied to on the table. As soon as the weighted part was motionless he tapped it once with his wand, and the balloons began to move around in a circle, bobbing up and down slowly like an inflated carousel. "For the new parents. Think it might be a big seller. Prototype, you know. Helps to have friends in high places." He waggled his eyebrows upwards.

The balloons were enchanted to rearrange themselves to say 'Congratulations!' and 'It's a Boy!' "Thanks George."

"Oh, that's not for you, Professor Daddy. That's for Mrs. Did All the Work and young Mister It Was Easier Inside Mummy. _This_ is for you." He handed me a rectangular box with deep blue wrapping paper. "I think you'll like it."

"This isn't going to blow up in my face or make me do anything weird, is it?"

"No, not today, Hank. Today's a prank-free day for you. Go on."

I unwrapped the paper to find a wooden box with a gold clasp on the edge. Once I lifted the lid the smell hit me and I knew exactly what he'd done. "Hell yeah. Thanks, George."

"Hank, I can't see. What is it?" Melody moved Hieronymus over towards her shoulder. "Hank?"

I opened the lid all the way and turned the box to Melody. "It's traditional."

"A box of cigars?" Melody rolled her eyes. "George, you know…"

"Yes, and I know he loves them. There's only ten in there." George winked at me. "Now, Mrs. Boyd, if you'll let me steal him for a moment I believe the occasion calls for a good cigar."

After Melody waved us out of the room I started to walk out of the hospital with George when the young witch who'd checked me in stopped us.

"Professor? Professor, I have some things for you."

I tried to remember her name, but it just wasn't coming. "I'm sorry, I can't remember your name. Last night was a blur and all I really remember was that you were in Ravenclaw."

"It's Maggie, and no worries. I have some packages for you."

"For me?" I looked over to George and he shrugged. "Um, ok, I'll take them."

Maggie reached behind the desk and pulled out four more packages, all shaped exactly like George's. George whooped and clapped me on the back. "You're in business, Hank. Those are Arturo Glurwich cigars. After you pull out the last one the box refills three times. Care for a cigar? Or a hundred?'

* * *

By early afternoon I was exhausted. With Hannah's help all the owls had been sent, Melody and I had filled out the birth certificate form and officially christened our son Hieronymus Robert. A bunch of congratulatory owls had been received, including one from Muggle Club. Penny's note was somewhat ambiguous, as she said that she couldn't make it to St. Mungo's right away but that she'd "totally make up for it," whatever that meant. Hermione had relieved Ginny, and she was thrilled for us, especially as Hieronymus had a bit of reddish hair. Melody and Hieronymus took several naps, leaving me to be the awake, public face of our new arrival, something I wasn't expecting when Margaret arrived with a photographer from _Witch_ _Weekly._ Luckily Ginny helped Melody put on some makeup and we posed for the official picture that was to go in the next issue.

What I was not ready for was the next time I stepped out of the hospital to have a cigar, this time with Nate. Sitting on the low wall, almost as soon as we'd lit the cigars flash bulbs went off, momentarily blinding us and causing me to curse very loudly. Apparently my thought that _The Daily Prophet_ wasn't interested in me anymore was completely false, as some fresh-faced and annoying git of a reporter tried to get me to give him a quote. Before I could say anything Nate stood up, making the reporter realize exactly how tall my little brother is, and the man went away without his quote.

After the _Daily Prophet_ idiots had left Nate took a big puff of off his cigar and looked over at me. "If you would have told me years ago when you were dating Janine that I'd be sitting with you in England, smoking cigars, and your wife the witch had just given birth to your son, I would have wondered what the hell you were smoking."

I chuckled. "No shit. And if you would have told me that you, Mister Playboy, were going to be married, let alone to a witch who was bitten by a werewolf…no way."

"Yeah." Nate took another big puff off the cigar. "Well, my excuse is gone now." He looked over at me. "I told Melody she couldn't drive my Aston-Martin because she wouldn't fit behind the wheel with her big belly. Gotta think of something new."

"Got any extras?" Ted walked over to us. "I don't usually, but why the hell not?"

"Sure." I pulled one out of my pocket and handed it to him. "You know, I'm not surprised that Nate's the last in the baby department, but I always figured I'd beat you to it first, Ted. I am your older brother."

He bit off the end of the cigar and lit it. "Shut up, I know that's not how you're supposed to do it, but I don't care. Yeah, I beat you to the baby thing, but you just had to find the right woman."

"And move a continent away." Nate elbowed Ted.

"Yeah, and rob the cradle." Ted winked at Nate.

The door opened and a man in black clothing walked out. He looked around for a moment, and then finally, spotting us, started over to us.

"You know that guy, Hank?" Ted looked over to me, worried. "Are there any Aurors around?"

"He's cool, don't worry." I stood up off of the low wall. "Care for a cigar?"

"I believe that is appropriate, given the celebratory nature of the occasion." Draco put out his hand. "Congratulations, Hank."

"Thanks, Draco. I think you've met my brother Nate, but this is my youngest brother Ted."

After all of them shook hands I looked over to Draco. "Please tell me you have some news. Ron Flooed me before I left Hogwarts, but that's all I know."

Draco looked over to my brothers quickly and then to me. "Are you positive you wish to address this topic?"

Ted ground out his cigar on the wall. "That's my cue, then. The less I know the better. I'll catch you back inside, guys."

Nate shrugged. "I'm married to an AAB agent who used to be an Auror."

"Very well." Draco took the cigar I offered him, unwrapped it and expertly severed the end with his wand.

"That's awesome. So much better than a cigar cutter." I looked over at Nate. "No, there's no way in hell I could do that."

"No kidding, you'd probably just set the whole damn cigar on fire." Nate laughed. "So, Mr. Malfoy, what's the news?"

"Draco, please. As for the news, I'm afraid it isn't very good. As you know Cassandra Palliurum purposely brought together the WLF, WHAM, the Wand Children and the Aurors. As she didn't know about the existence of the Invisibles I'm sure she would just consider than an unforeseen bonus. Initially we thought that the incident in Ireland was the culmination of her plans, but as she relayed in her interview it was only the beginning. Our sources have indicated that another event is looming upon the horizon. When and where, that is the question of the moment."

"Oh sonovabitch." I puffed on my cigar. "It's like the goddamned Godfather. 'Just when I think I'm out, they pull me back again.' Goddammit."

"There you are!"

I looked over to see where the obviously female comment had come from, and approaching rapidly was Miranda Fleming, with Terry Boot in tow. Once again Miranda's outfit was completely Miranda, as she had on knee high black leather boots, fishnet stockings, a very short plaid skirt and an almost there top. This time her hair was silver, actually freaking silver and her eye makeup was very dark and prominent. When she got to me she threw herself into my arms and gave me a big hug and then a large, wet kiss on the cheek.

At that exact moment a flashbulb went off, making everyone turn around. Draco took out his wand and sent a spell off towards the bushes, where the photographer must have been hiding, but we didn't hear anything except the pop of Apparition.


	28. Home and Away

**Chapter 28: Home and Away**

After realizing exactly what kind of picture the photographer from _The Daily Prophet_ must have taken I slumped down on the low wall. "I can't fucking believe it. My son's just been born and now there's going to be a picture in the paper with…dammit, Miranda? Can't you wear some decent clothes?"

"I'm sorry, Professor." She scrunched up her nose. "I didn't mean to…"

"Whatever." I dismissed her with a wave. "Boot, can't you control her?"

As usual, Boot stood there as if he was made of stone. Finally, after a few seconds, he took a deep breath. "No."

"Fuck it, I'm going back inside." I threw down my cigar and stomped it out with my foot. I made it a few strides away when I felt hands on my arms. After turning around I saw Nate and Draco with worried looks on their faces.

"Hank, don't go back in all mad, you'll ruin it for Melody." Nate gave me a worried look. "Come on, bro, this is a happy time."

"Deal with what is truly important, Hank." Draco had a stern look on his face. "I am sure a few well-chosen owls will take care of the rest."

I took several deep breaths. "Ok, ok, y'all can let go now. I can't wait to tell Melody."

"We might be able to broker a deal. Some choice information in exchange for the pictures." Draco smiled at me with only one corner of his mouth. "Perhaps information regarding a missing professor that was located in Devonshire."

Nate pulled a face. "What? They found the professor in Wales, didn't they, not Devonshire?"

"Precisely." Draco walked away from us, towards the street. "I will contact you shortly with the results."

After Draco had left I took a look at my brother. "Hey, he was in Slytherin. It has its advantages."

* * *

I stayed with Melody and Hieronymus that night, sleeping on a pullout bed that Healer Berfic had brought into the room. Mom and Lane stayed for a while until Dad finally pulled them away. When asked if she wanted Hieronymus in the room or in the nursery Melody chose the room, and just as I was drifting off into a deep sleep I heard him cry. I went over to his bassinet, picked him up and brought him over to Melody, where he decided that it was definitely time to eat. From there on the night was filled with Healers stopping into check on mother and baby, occasionally filing out a chart, but for the most of the time it was the sleep, get the baby, take to Mummy, put back in the bassinet and go back to sleep routine.

The next morning I availed myself to the little shower in the loo and tried to look presentable. After looking in the mirror and seeing the bags under my eyes I was grateful for the fact that Melody is a lot younger than I am, as I was definitely feeling the effects of the complete lack of sleep. The adrenaline and excitement of Hieronymus' arrival was starting to wear off, and I realized that this was the new normal, sort of. It would really become normal when we took him home. After returning fully showered and feeling somewhat refreshed one of the Healers brought in his first baby pictures, and I was happy to see that he was wearing the yellow and black of Hufflepuff. Secretly part of me hoped that would be his house, but I knew that whichever house he was sorted into, if he was sorted, would be fine with me. That triggered my memory of Sybil's prophecy.

As Melody sat up in bed, eating her breakfast that had been officially declared nowhere as good as my mom's I brought the prophecy up again. "Mel, do you remember what I told you about what Sybil said when I was at Hogwarts? You know, that stuff about every house and…"

"Yes, Hank, I remember. What was it, that he would bind us close to those who care about us or something like that? We already knew that, Hannah and Neville are his godparents."

"Yeah, something like that. I have it written down in my desk. Do you think there's something to it? She nailed the part about Lavinia."

"I don't know. She always seemed barmy to me."

A quiet knock on the door prevented my comment on Sybil, and when the door opened a familiar tall red-headed Auror stood in the doorway. "Hope I'm not interrupting. Is he in here?"

"Come on in, Ron. He's sleeping." Melody looked at Ron for a moment and then winked at me. "What's that you've brought with you?"

Ron walked in and sat down in the spare chair. "Well, Hermione was supposed to bring it with her but she must have forgotten in all the excitement. Picture's already been taken, hasn't it?" He opened a small brown paper shopping bag and pulled out a very orange little sleeper. "Probably wouldn't hurt to have another one taken, just in case those don't turn out."

I covered my laugh by pretending to smooth down my goatee with my hand, as Ron held an official Chudley Cannons baby outfit. "I'm sure we could make sure he's wearing that when we go home." I glanced over at Melody and got a funny look, but shrugged it off. "You want to hold him?"

After Ron nodded I went over to the bassinet and gently picked up Hieronymus and handed him to Ron. Once he had my son safely in his arms he took out his wand and transfigured his chair to be a rocking chair.

"Red hair, huh? Sure you're not a Weasley, Hank?"

"Yeah, Ron, I'm sure. Your mom did the paperwork."

He smiled at Hieronymus and continued rocking. "Normally I'd just tell you, Hank, but I know you'd just tell Melody so I figure this will save us all some time. Robards knows that you two just had a baby, so he's holding off until you get settled, but he'd like you to come into the Ministry and talk to Bellina Davis. She's given us the same kind of stuff as the other professors, but you were really good getting stuff out of that one professor, so he's willing to wait. Pendergast…you haven't met him, he's a real piece of work…anyway, Pendergast wanted you to come in right away and you should have heard Robards go off on him."

"Thanks, Ron. And thanks for letting Edith take care of the house and the animals." I leaned back in my chair and put my glasses on the top of my head. "Hope that hasn't messed you up at the office."

"Nah." Ron smiled down and Hieronymus, rocked for a while, and then looked up. "Don't tell Hermione, especially you, Melody, but seeing him like this makes me realize why Mum and Dad had all of us."

Melody laughed. "Under no circumstances tell her that, Ron. She doesn't have much longer, and neither does Ginny. I like you, Ron, and I'd hate to go to your funeral. None of my dresses would fit at this point."

"I'll keep that in mind." Ron moved the blanket back over Hieronymus to keep him warm. "I don't mean to bang on about it, Hank, but what's your schedule like now?"

"Well, Titus and I agreed that I'd be home for a solid week or so after he was born, then just over for classes the next week and back to full schedule the week after that. That's finals week, so I won't have much classroom time. Why? Trying to figure out when I can meet with Bellina Davis?"

I saw him sneak a glance at Melody and wince. "Yeah. Sorry."

"Let us get him home for a while and then I'll send you an owl. Does that work?" I glanced over to Melody and eventually she reluctantly nodded.

* * *

Arriving at the house with Hieronymus was interesting, to say the least. We arrived by Floo, and almost as soon as we'd stepped foot out of the fireplace we were engulfed by our family. As Mom and Lane took charge of Hieronymus I helped Melody into a chair and started the kettle. After completing that task I looked around and realized that flowers seemed to have sprouted from every conceivable flat surface and that our house was unmistakably, undeniably clean. Everything was so shiny and dust-free that I had a feeling I could safely eat off of anything in the house with the exception of our pets. Even the little stand we used for mail was tidy and organized, with _The Daily Prophet_ on top. _The Prophet_…

"Anybody read the paper yet?" I picked it up off the pile and opened it quickly.

"You just brought your baby home and you're asking about the paper?" Ted sat on the sofa with the TV remote in his hand. "No baseball scores in there."

"No, Ted, it's just…I wonder if Draco's idea worked." As Nate explained what I meant I flipped nervously through the paper, but it was as I had hoped; Draco had taken care of things. Hieronymus' birth announcement wasn't in there, though, but I figured that would come out soon enough.

"Glad you're back, Hank. Don't know if Mom told you but I have to leave tomorrow. Already used up all my vacation for this year. You know I'm going to owe Candice big-time for being over here without her and Chip." Ted leaned back in the chair and put his feet up on the coffee table. "I fly out of Heathrow at two tomorrow afternoon."

"Shit." I exhaled emphatically. "I'm really glad you could make it, Ted. Means a lot to me and Melody."

"What, I don't count?"

"Shut up, Nate."

"Piss off, baldy."

Jennifer came into the room and whopped Nate on the head. "How old are you two? You're still acting like idiots."

I leaned my head over towards her. "Hey Jen, Ted's leaving tomorrow. When are you and John leaving?"

She sat down on the sofa and kicked Ted's feet off of the coffee table. "Same flight as Ted. We're all on the same flight, Mom and Dad, too."

"Not all of us." Nate kicked back in his chair and flexed his bicep. "Lavender and me are staying on for another couple of days, you know, protection."

I rolled my eyes. "You're even more useless than I am, Nate. Don't you mean Lavender's going to be here for protection and you're along for the ride?"

"Fuck off."

"Eat shit.'

"Boys!" Mom walked in the room carrying Hieronymus. "Watch your language, there are little ears here now. Hank, you've got to watch what you say, I don't want my grandson's first words to be a curse word."

After Mom sat down she smoothed down the small amount of Hieronymus' hair and readjusted his blankets. Sitting there in the living room, with most of my family, I couldn't believe that it was all real. "Mom, did we do good?"

"You and Melody did wonderfully, Hank. He's beautiful. Just as beautiful as all of my grandchildren."

"Mom, did you and Lane clean the house? It looks amazing."

She pursed her lips for a moment and then smiled. "We had some help. Your house elf felt bad about what happened right before you went to the hospital, so we kind of let him take charge. I thought it was too much but Lane said that his feelings would be hurt if we didn't let him."

"Melody is so spoiled." Jen shook her head in mock disgust. "I mean, you'll be here during the summer along with Lavinia who I understand is dying to be a nanny, and then you've got that house elf. Spoiled rotten."

* * *

As brand new parents the first night home with Hieronymus neither Melody nor I slept much. Melody was afraid that since she was still so exhausted she'd sleep through his feedings, and I was just nervous full stop. After the third time when I got up out of bed and went over to the bassinet on Melody's side just to check and make sure he was still breathing she threatened to get out her wand, as every time I got out of bed she was almost asleep and I woke her up. We managed to get a few bits of sleep and then like clockwork every two hours Hieronymus would let us know that he needed feeding or changing.

Needless to say when the sun rose over Colony House that morning both Mel and I were in a semi-zombie state. I stumbled into the kitchen intending to start the kettle but stopped suddenly as I was surprised to see Mom and Lavender, wearing their bathrobes, sitting on the living room sofa. I walked into the room and half-dropped myself into a chair.

"What time did y'all wake up? I mean, it's…" I took a look at my watch. "…just after six."

"I'm on duty, Hank." Lavender sniffed and pulled herself together, instantly changing from my sister-in-law to Agent Lavender. "Your mum was just keeping me company."

I ran my hand through my hair and blinked my eyes several times. "Mmm…ok. No attacks, nothing on fire? Sounds good to me. I do have one question."

"Yes?" Lavender squinted at me as if I was asking something I shouldn't.

"No, not you, Lavender, for mom. After Jen was born when did you finally get a good night's sleep?"

"Oh Hank." She chuckled. "I'd say right after Ted went to college."

"I. Am. Screwed."

"No Hank, you have Hogwarts." Lavender stood up abruptly and wrapped her robe even closer around her body. "Melody is the one who is 'screwed' as you say."

I thought about saying something along the lines of that we know Mel was screwed at least once but I figured by Lavender's body language I'd better just keep my mouth shut. Instead I changed the topic. "The post here yet? Hieronymus' birth announcement should be in _The Prophet_."

"Owls aren't here yet. I'm going to go take a shower." Lavender quickly left the room, leaving me to look at Mom in confusion.

"What'd I say?"

"Henry, Nate told you that they don't think Lavender will be able to have children, didn't he?"

"Sorta. He said they weren't sure."

"It's about ninety-nine percent that she can't. She's worried that it will drive a wedge between her and Nate." She waved me off before I could say anything. "I know, I told her the same thing, that Nate married her for her and not just to have a baby. They'll have to work it out. Just be sensitive."

Dad stumbled into the kitchen in his t-shirt and boxer shorts, opened the cupboard and pulled out a cup. He tried to pour a cup of coffee before realizing that the coffee pot was empty. "No coffee?"

"Thomas! Why are you walking around in your underwear!" Mom looked over to me and shook her head.

"Yeah, Dad, at least I have on my robe."

Dad filled up the coffee pot with water and started the coffee before answering. "What? We're all family here. Lane went home last night, so what if I'm in my underwear? Melody's probably crashed and so's the boy, so what's the big deal?"

The big deal arrived by Floo, not only surprising all of us but making Dad turn about seventeen shades of red and hightail it to the bedroom faster than I'd seen him move in years. JoJo, Melody's good friend, stood in the fireplace looking like a million Galleons with one hand holding one of the largest shopping bags I'd seen in ages. After taking one look at all of us in robes, and in Dad's case underwear, her shoulders slumped.

"I forgot about the time difference! I'm so sorry, Hank. Are they asleep?"

I stood up and went over to her and gave her a hug. "Yeah, they're asleep, don't worry about it. I know she'll be excited to see you. Hungry?"

"That's my cue, then." Mom got up from the sofa. "Time for breakfast. So good to see you again, JoJo."

"You too, Mrs. Boyd. Sorry, Karen."

Mom patted her on the arm as she made her way into the kitchen, leaving me standing with JoJo in the living room. "What'd you do, buy out the shops?"

A guilty grin spread slowly across her face. "Maybe. I'll just sit them down and then you have to tell me everything."

Melody and Hieronymus made their appearance not long after I began telling JoJo about Hieronymus' arrival and all of the stuff that happened. I didn't say anything but Melody looked horrible; I made a mental note to try and think of ways to help her out so that she could get some sleep. JoJo was over the moon with the baby, as she took him immediately after he'd been fed and changed and wouldn't let him out of her arms. Dad came in, this time fully dressed, and began taking pictures, which led to Lavender taking even more pictures with her wizarding camera.

It was after I threw on some clothes and my Braves had and re-entered the kitchen that I noticed that my family's luggage sat by the door. I knew that they would be leaving soon, but the sight of all of the suitcases really brought it home, and I realized that I was going to miss them horribly. It had been so nice having them visit for such a long amount of time, especially Mom, but soon it was just going to be Melody, Hieronymus and me at Colony House. And Lavender and Nate, for a while, but at least Lane was close.

As everyone was crowded around JoJo, who had teasingly refused to let Hieronymus out of her arms, Mom came over and gave me a hug. After breaking away she looked up at me and gave me a look that reminded me of when I was in my teens.

"Hank, I've made up about a week's worth of food for you and Melody. Today's is in the refrigerator, but the rest is in the freezer and I've marked what it is on the top of the lid so you can find it quickly. There's a starter of sourdough on the counter, I know you remember how to do that, and the…"

"I got it, Mom, its ok. Thanks for everything."

She pointed a finger at me. "Now you take good care of Melody and Hieronymus. She's going to need you a lot these first few weeks."

"I know, Mom. Dad told me, I got it, Mom."

Not long after that Seamus Finnegan and another Auror knocked on our front door, bearing a small statue of a duck. My family joined the Aurors in my back garden. As Melody held Hieronymus we all waved to them, and soon the duck statue began glowing and my family disappeared. Nate had explained that they were taking the portkey into London, and would go to Heathrow from there, but it still felt weird seeing my family disappear.

* * *

The next few days were actually easier than the first night, as we got used to Hieronymus' patterns and fell into the same. JoJo stayed for a couple of days, and initially it had been kind of weird but I got used to it quickly. Yes, JoJo had stayed over at our place before, but for some reason it just felt different, and I found myself getting completely dressed before my morning tea. God knows I needed my tea, as sleeping in shifts wasn't going great, but whenever I rocked Hieronymus to sleep it was completely worth it.

It was the day after JoJo left that I got the owl that I was dreading. Finally, it was just the three of us at Colony House, and I was sitting at the kitchen table in my boxer shorts folding baby clothes when the owl arrived with the note from the Ministry. After a quick read through I left the table and went into the bedroom, but when I saw the two of them I couldn't wake them up, not like that. Melody was lying in bed, her hair all pushed to one side, and Hieronymus was lying all bundled up in a light blanket next to her. Her hand was on his chest and one of his little hands was on top of hers, and I knew that I had to take a picture of that. Luckily by the time I found the camera they hadn't moved, but when the flash went off Melody stirred briefly.

"Mmm…what time is it?"

"Early, but that's a relative term these days." I went over and sat down on the bed next to her. "Mel, I got the letter from the Ministry. I'm to go in after lunch, but I don't want to. I don't want to leave you two alone."

She took a series of deep breaths and rubbed her eyes. "You'll have to eventually."

"I know, but not right now. He's not even a week old yet." I scratched my head and tried to think of someone to come over and stay with her. "Maybe I should owl your mom."

"She's out of town, Garden Show or something." Melody picked up Hieronymus and pulled him close. "We'll be fine."

"How about Ginny or Hermione? Angelina? Molly would come in a minute, I'll…"

"No, Hank. We'll be fine."

I could tell by the look on her face that I wasn't going to win, so I gave up and took a shower, shaved for the first time in days and put on a pair of jeans and a polo shirt. After slipping into my trainers I looked over at her and Hieronymus, as it was obvious that he was hungry. Even though she was adamant about being alone I had one more card up my sleeve.

After lounging around for the rest of the morning, fixing breakfast for Melody and folding the rest of the laundry I read the paper and tried not to worry, but it was useless, and I became more convinced that my one trump card was the best way to go. Once I'd said goodbye to Melody and Hieronymus, and right before I left the house, I stood in my office. "Nonky, can you come here?"

With his usual noisy Apparition he arrived in my office. "Professor Muggle needs Nonky? Nonky can help."

I knelt down next to him. "Yes, I do need you, Nonky. I have to go away for a few hours. Can you help take care of Melody and Hieronymus? Don't be too helpful, you know she doesn't like that, but just make sure they're ok, can you do that?" After finally stopping Nonky's assurances of his abilities I left my office, stepped into the fireplace and left Colony House.

* * *

When I arrived at the Ministry I flipped over my badge as usual, thought of Ron's office and followed my little red dot. As soon as Edith saw me she was out from behind her desk in a flash and gave me a hug.

"I'm so happy for you and Melody, Professor. How is everybody doing?"

"Good, but tired. Thanks again for taking care of the animals and the house, Edith."

She waved me off. "Least I could do. He's expecting you, go on in."

Ron was busy reading parchment when I walked in and sat down in the non-Harry chair. "Couldn't wait a few more days, huh?"

He looked up and his expression changed from irritation to a more relaxed look. "Hank, congratulations again. Would have been by earlier but, well, you can guess." He motioned with his hands to the stacks of parchment on his desk. "By the way, got something for you." After rooting around in his desk drawer for a while he threw something small at me.

Of course I wasn't expecting to catch anything so I missed it, and heard it clang somewhere on the floor to my right. "Nice, thanks, Ron." I got up out of my chair and looked around for it and finally found it halfway underneath the chair. When I sat back down I opened my hand and took a look at it, but it didn't make any sense. "Why are you throwing a key at me?"

He gave me a smirky grin. "Figured you'd want the key to your office here at the Ministry."

"My office? Robards gave that away."

"Yeah, well he kind of got in a bit of a row with Pendergast the other day about you. From what I've heard, and that means whatever Kendricks told Edith at lunch, Robards was defending your involvement in this whole thing. Pendergast said that you obviously weren't that important because your office was given away, and Robards told him that was just to throw people off the trail or summing, and that he was giving you the office back permanently."

"What the fuck? Do you mean I have an office here at the Ministry now, in the Auror department, because wanted to win an argument?"

Ron thought for a while and then nodded his head. "Yeah."

"Holy shit."

"Don't get any ideas, Hank, you're not going to be a real Auror. Besides, the man who was in your old office threatened to quit unless Robards moved him. I'm sure he'll give you the details later. We'll meet with him after lunch."

"Um, Ron?" I looked at my watch. "It is after lunch."

"Not my lunch. Come on, you can have a cup of tea or a piece of pie or summing."

The lunch counter at the little diner was crowded when we got there, but when one of the waitresses saw Ron she waved at him and we walked through a group of irritated people waiting in line. When we got to the table the waitress was cleaning off the plates and silverware. "Back in mo, Mr. Weasley."

After filing into the booth I looked across the table at Ron. "You a big shot here or something?"

He looked embarrassed for a moment. "I come here a lot and I tip well."

"Hmmhmmm…right, and you're not an Order of Merlin First Class winner and a celebrity, not to mention an Auror."

"Yeah, well, pie's good. I'd go for that if I was you."

While drinking a cup of coffee and taking my time with the French Silk pie I watched Ron shovel enough food into his mouth to feed me for a week. As usual, he did his talking while eating bit.

"Didja bwink picurs?"

"What?"

He finished chewing rapidly. "Sorry, did you bring pictures?"

"Um, yeah, actually. Hold on." As I dug into my pockets for the pictures I realized that it was a casual lunch, that I wouldn't really get any information on why I was at the Ministry until we were safely back in Ron's office. I flipped through until I found the one that I knew would make him happy and put it on top. "Here you go. Don't get gravy on them or Mel will kill me."

He looked around for his napkin, but failing to find it he wiped his hands on his robes. After taking the pictures from me a giant smile broke out on his face. "He looks good, Hank, especially in orange. Thought that would fit him."

"Mel says that if he actually becomes a Cannons fan you're going to have to teach him to deal with the heartbreak."

He shook his head emphatically. "They're getting better. Last match they almost had it if it hadn't been for the weather. Completely threw them off their strategy."

"How's Hermione doing?"

"Merlin. She's driving me crazy, Hank. I don't know who's going to be happier for August to get here, her, me or the baby. Right now I'd put my Galleons on her. It's no wonder Dad doesn't have any hair, Mum's mental enough as it is, can't imagine what she was like when she was pregnant with us."

I finished the rest of my pie and Ron devoured the rest of his lunch, and after taking a look at his watch he pulled out his money. I tried to pay for my pie and coffee but Ron wouldn't let me, and before I knew it we were back in Ron's office, only this time Harry sat in his chair waiting for us.

"Let me guess, lunch?" Harry took off his glasses and cleaned them with his robe. "We don't have much time, Pendergast just stopped by to see if you were here."

"That bloody arsehole." Ron sat down at his desk. "Wish Robards would chuck him."

I sat down and looked over to the Aurors. "Who is this guy and why haven't I heard of him before?"

Ron just rolled his eyes so Harry filled me in. "Nigel Pendergast is the Deputy Head Auror, Robards' second in command. He'd been kept out of things until recently. He's been bucking to take over for Robards lately and thinks that the missing professors case is proof that Robards needs to retire. I don't think Kingsley cares for him at all, but the press could make it hard on Robards if things don't wrap up soon."

I sighed, as once again it became clear why my name had come up. "And let me guess, Pendergast thinks my involvement is a huge mistake, right? Fuck. Ok, let's get to this, then. I want to get home soon, Melody's there alone with Hieronymus. Well, not exactly alone."

Harry gave me a concerned look. "Hank? What do you mean?"

"She told me to leave them alone, that I'd have to do it eventually. I called Nonky and he's with her now, so at least if I'm not there the house elf will be able to take care of them." Ron and Harry looked at each other and I could tell something wasn't right. "What? Is there something wrong with Nonky being there?"

Harry's tone was commanding. "When was the last time you heard from Lavender and your brother?"

"Um, I don't know. Couple of days. They're at Lavender's parents, I think. Why?"

Ron's face fell as he looked towards the door. "EDITH!" Ron and Harry both stood up and Ron grabbed his wand off of the desk. "EDITH!"

"What's wrong?" She stood in the doorway with a pad and a quill. "Is something wrong?"

"Tell Robards and Pendergast something is up. We'll be back as soon as possible." He pointed to me. "And take him home as soon as you can."

* * *

I didn't want to just wait around in Ron's office like a potted plant so I followed Edith to Robards' office. As soon as Kendricks saw me walking quickly behind Edith she opened the door to his office and I followed Edith inside. Robards was sitting behind his desk, his robe on a hook, clothing piled on a chair and wearing only his undershirt with maps spread all over his desk. Without looking up to see who had entered his office he held up his hand.

"Kendricks, I don't ask for much, but I expressly told you to leave me alone for an hour and to have someone in maintenance FIX THE BLOODY TEMPERATURE IN MY BLOODY OFFICE!" When he looked up and saw that it wasn't Kendricks his expression changed immediately. "What are you two doing? And where's Weasley?"

I didn't let Edith open her mouth; I charged right into his office and began talking. "They're off to see what happened to my brother Nate and Lavender, I haven't heard from them for a few days and when I said that they both took off like a shot; we're supposed to tell you and Pendergast that they'll be back as soon as possible. Does that mean they went after my brother? I know Lavender's an Auror, shit, Agent, but Nate doesn't have anything, at least I have my guns, and…"

"Merlin, Boyd, slow down." He stood up from his desk it became obvious that not only was Robards in his undershirt but that he had also stripped down to his boxer shorts, as he began pacing around his office in his dark socks and brogues. "Lavender's missing? I doubt that, she may be a pain in the arse but she's good, even if she does like to go around with her tits half out most of the time. Yes, I'm in my skivvies but you try being in here all day, cooling charms don't last for shite. Edith, I'll take it from here, tell Pendergast that we've got a situation and we'll need to delay the meeting with Bellina Davis."

After Edith left Kendricks came in, cast a cooling charm on Robards and walked out without saying a word. As the Head Auror wiped the sweat off of his face and began to get dressed again I sat in one of the chairs in front of his desk and began to sweat profusely, trying to figure out what the fuck was going on.

"Professor, I know you're worried, but don't worry about Brown. Sorry, Boyd. She is a piece of work but if anyone could sneak up on her I'd eat a blast ended skrewt. Now let's go down and talk to Bellina Davis so I can get you back to that new son of yours."

_What? That didn't make any sense._ "Um, didn't you just send Edith off to tell Pendergast that…"

"Pendergast can kiss my arse. Come on, she's been asking about you."


	29. Changes, Paperwork and Surprise Tea

**Chapter 29: Changes, Paperwork and Surprise Tea**

As I walked with a now fully clothed Robards through the Ministry my mind was racing. Something was happening with Nate and Lavender, Melody was at home with only Nonky to help take care of Hieronymus and I was heading to a meeting with Bellina Davis. After making our way through several areas I looked over to Robards.

"Can you send someone over to watch Colony House? If Lavender's gone…"

He stopped walking immediately. "Merlin, I'm sorry." He looked out over the desks and pointed to a young man. "You! What's your name?"

"William Tyndall, sir."

"Tyndall, go tell Kendricks to send Finnegan over to Colony House. He'll know what it means. Go!"

Tyndall almost knocked his desk over in his haste, and as soon as he was away Robards continued his brisk pace. "Sorry, Professor. By the way, you've got your office back."

It took a minute for my brain to comprehend that he was talking to me, let alone about something as mundane as an office. "Oh yeah, right. Thanks. Ron gave me the key."

"Kendricks has some papers for you to sign when we get back to my desk. Office is permanent and so's the job but the salary is per engagement only. Whenever we call you in you'll get paid. You can come up with the title; I don't care what it is. Here we are."

Once again we entered the nice interview room and Bellina Davis sat in a chair reading a magazine. She looked the same as when I'd seen her on the honeymoon trip, although her hair was a longer and a lot greyer.

After sitting down the magazine her face lit up. "Professor! Congratulations! The pictures are wonderful."

I walked over to her side of the table and she gave me a hug. "Thanks. The pictures?"

She picked up the magazine and handed it to me, and I realized immediately what she was talking about. She was reading the new copy of _Witch Weekly_, and the picture that we'd taken in the hospital was in there, along some text under Margaret's byline. After a little more casual conversation Robards cleared his throat and we took that as a signal to get things started.

"So, Bellina, can you tell me about it? I know you've probably told the Aurors everything, but I'd like to hear what happened."

"Well, Hank, I don't remember much." She stopped and looked at Robards, as he had a surprised expression on his face. "Hank and I have corresponded several times since his honeymoon visit to Houdini."

"They were the first school to adopt my textbook, for which I will always be grateful." Robards rolled his eyes and motioned with his hands to get on with it. "Fine, all right, Robards. So what can you tell me, Bellina?"

"Not a lot. I'd been down to the library to do some research and then had lunch with Mia and Eleanor." She looked over to Robards. "Transfiguration and Herbology." Turning back to me she resumed her conversational tone. "After that I was on my way back to my office when things went black. Next thing I knew I was in some little room, tied to a chair and some man wearing a mask sat on a chair at a desk. He had a gun on the table and I could tell by the way he was tapping his foot all the time he seemed nervous. When the woman came in she yelled at him for a few moments and then put a blindfold over my eyes. After that I felt myself going into a very deep sleep. Next thing I know some large man is picking me up off of the floor, two masked me are slumped over chairs and I'm in a very bright room that has a lot of windows in it."

"The woman, Bellina, would you recognize her?"

Robards rolled his eyes at me and Bellina gave him a very professorial look, one that would have made even my seventh years nervous. She turned to me. "Yes, I would, and the Aurors showed me the pictures. It was Cassandra Palliurum, Hank."

I took a deep breath and tried to think of anything that the Aurors might have missed. "Do you remember any music, Bellina? It seems this bunch likes to use Muggle music to send messages, a code of sorts." She sat back for a moment and put her hand to her chin. I looked over at Robards, and he seemed very interested all of the sudden. "Robards, you know the music's been a key in this whole deal, you did ask about that, right?"

Suddenly the supremely confident Head Auror looked fallible, as if the ground was slightly shifting beneath him. "I…I can't recall, Professor."

"Eyeballs." Bellina snapped her fingers. "I remember something about eyeballs was on the Muggle music player. I thought that was strange, why would Muggle sing about eyeballs? Then she walked in, Cassandra, she said that they weren't supposed to play that, it wasn't time for the signal yet and that she'd always hated that album."

_Eyeballs…eyeballs…there was something almost there but I couldn't quite grasp it_. Robards began to say something but I waved him off and closed my eyes. _Cassandra hated the album and it had a song that mentioned eyeballs. Hated the album…Miss Gradenko…Synchronicity. For fuck's sake, Synchronicity! It all made sense; she was synchronizing all the groups to arrive at the same point…_

"Professor!" Robards shook my arm. "What is it?"

"Quiet for a minute, I need to remember." I closed my eyes again and started singing all the songs off of the Police's Synchronicity album in my head. Eventually after making it through the second one I thought of the video for Synchronicity II, what seemed like a post-armageddon Mad Max garbage strewn landscape, and suddenly the lyrics came back to me like a flash. "I think I've got it. If that's where they are Cassandra Palliurum is either too stupid to realize we'd figure it out or smart enough to leave us a clue as a trap. Which one I don't know."

Robards was on the edge of his chair. "Out with it!"

"It's the song Synchronicity II off the same album where Miss Gradenko got her name. The eyeballs line is at the end of the song, but not before the ending. At the end they talk about a cottage that has a shadow on the door. In Scotland, near a dark lake." Before I could stop myself I actually sang the fucking thing.

_Many miles away_

_There's a shadow on the door_

_Of a cottage on the shore_

_Of a dark Scottish lake_

"Fuck me, Robards. Scotland! Right here at home. And using the songs of The Police, that's just ballsy. Almost like flashing a neon sign saying 'hey Aurors, you dumbshits, come get me.' Jesus."

* * *

Things began moving quickly after that. Robards pulled me out of the chair and we left Bellina Davis sitting there in the little room without saying a word to her. As we walked so fast we were almost jogging a thin man with a long ponytail stopped in front of us, preventing our progress. He looked angry as hell, and one thought flashed though my mind, that this must be the Pendergast I'd heard so much about.

"Robards, I understood that Mr. Boyd was no longer in the Ministry. Did you interview Mrs. Davis? Purposely deceiving me?"

"I don't know, Pendergast, I'm busy. Now if you'll move we've got things to do."

Surprisingly the thin man did not move out of the way; instead he stood his ground and put his hands on his hips. "You're mismanaging everything! You know why I wanted to be there, and now you've ruined any chance…"

Robards' shoulders tensed and he stood up straight as an arrow. "Pendergast, I've told you before, and let me repeat it again as it is obvious you haven't comprehended the words that have come out of my mouth. You are dead wrong on your theories. You can't be further from the truth."

That took me by surprise, as I expected Robards to yell at him at full volume, but then I remembered what Edith and the others had told me, that if Robards didn't like someone he didn't yell. It was while I was thinking about that when Pendergast blew up. The thin man pointed at me, almost jabbing his finger in my face.

"You're wrong, Robards, he's in on it! He's probably in charge of it all and has been pulling the wool over your eyes! Oh yes, you, Potter, Weasley, all of you! Admit it, Boyd! You did it all!"

I swatted his finger out of my face. "What the fuck are you talking about? I'm in charge of this shit? Me? Are you fucking crazy?" I made a step for him but Robards put his arm in front of me. "The WLF tried to kill me and my family! More than once, and I'm running everything? Are you drunk?"

He shook his head. "Oh no, I'm stone sober, and I see what's really going on here. You're in deep cover, pretending to be one of us, even going so far as to marry a witch and have a baby just to fool everyone, but you don't fool me."

All of the blood seemed to rush to my head and I wanted nothing more than to beat the shit out of Mr. Ponytail Conspiracy Theory. Luckily for me Robards moved his arm away and I took one step towards Pendergast and shook my head. "Too far, asshole. Go fuck yourself." He went down with one good fist to the nose, and I was over him, ready for more, when Robards pulled me away.

"See, Gawain! See!" Pendergast lay on the floor, holding his nose.

Blood began to seep through his fingers and at that moment I had a feeling that I was in deep, deep trouble. I looked over to Robards but instead of saying anything to me he went over to Pendergast. Looking down on him he shook his head.

"Pendergast, you've disobeyed direct orders, ignored my direction and generally you're a giant pain in my arse. Go tell the Minister if you want, I don't care what Shacklebolt tells you, I run the Aurors and what I say goes. And what I say right now is that you're sacked. Pack up your desk and be gone in a half hour or I'll have you arrested." Robards looked around at the crowd of Aurors that had circled the area. "DID EVERYBODY HEAR THAT? HE'S SACKED AND IF ANY OF YOU LOT SEE HIM ON THE PREMESIS IN A HALF HOUR FROM NOW ARREST HIM."

I felt Robards grab my arm and as we made our way over Pendergast I took the opportunity to step on his outstretched hand, a cheap shot move I knew from football. We ignored his screaming at us and made our way down the hall until after we'd reached a corner, and as soon as we were around the corner Robards stopped quickly.

"Boyd, I could arrest you for assault but instead I want to thank you. Been wanting to do that for years." He leaned against the wall and his head made a thumping noise against an Auror recruitment poster. "I'm sorry, Professor. I think I'm getting too old for this, losing my edge. I should have asked about the music."

As Robards was talking I was flexing my hand, feeling around to see if anything was broken. "That's why you brought me in, stuff like that. You're not losing your edge, you're not a Muggle." We stood there for a moment and I laughed. "Felt really good to hit him, though, with all of that shit he was talking. Fucking deep cover my ass, like I married Melody and had Hieronymus just to fake everybody out."

"Why do you think we kept him out of it as long as possible?" He sighed deeply. "Guess I need a new second in command. That'll wait, though, come on. Time to see if your Muggle music pays off."

I followed Robards in silence until we arrived at the Floo fireplaces. He grabbed my arm and pulled me to the largest fireplace, one that could have probably held even Hagrid. After taking a large pinch of Floo powder he threw it down and said "Colony House."

The moment we arrived I took a look at him and whipped off my glasses. "What the hell is this? Why are we at my house?"

"That's why."

He pointed, and when I followed his gesture I saw Melody standing with Hieronymus, shocked that we were in the house.

"Sorry, Professor. Mrs. Boyd, sorry. We'll let you know." With that he threw down another pinch of Floo powder and disappeared.

* * *

I sat at the kitchen table with Seamus as Melody went to put Hieronymus down for his nap, and after Nonky had provided tea for us I finally got Seamus to say something. All of my attempts to get him to talk about things had failed, and I was about to fall back on Quidditch when he finally seemed to come to a decision. As he fiddled with his teacup he took a deep breath and glanced over at Melody, who'd joined us.

That was when Seamus told us all about Pendergast, who he'd worked closely with for some time. He'd been cleared of any Death Eater suspicion a long time ago, but there were several in the Auror department who thought he harbored the same types of sentiments against Muggles, just not the extreme view of eradication. When Seamus had been on Robards' shit list for some reason, he didn't go into it, he'd been assigned to work directly with Pendergast. It had only been in the last couple of years that he'd gained Robards' trust and had worked with Harry and Ron again. Harry, it seemed, was an especially large burr under Pendergast's saddle, as it seemed that any improvements that Harry suggested were vocally disagreed with, almost to the point that the Pendergast wouldn't even let Harry say anything in meetings.

That was when I told them about what happened in the Ministry, and while Seamus expressed his displeasure and not being able to see Pendergast get his nose bloodied Melody lit into me, telling me that I was irresponsible and acted like a complete idiot. I'd debated on whether or not to tell them the reason why I hit him, but after Mel's comments it just came out. To say she was shocked was an understatement. Seamus, though, didn't seem surprised.

Nonky hovered around us for the rest of the afternoon and his ears were better than any baby monitor, as with Hieronymus' slightest noise he was in the nursery as quick as a flash and then back, telling Melody the status, whether it be a false alarm or that Hieronymus was awake. I thought that Melody might be irritated at the house elf, but she seemed to be very grateful for him. Seamus and I spent the rest of the afternoon in my library, where I told him about what had happened with Bellina Davis.

It was almost time for supper, and I'd just asked Seamus what he wanted to eat when the Floo roared to life with Harry's head in the green flames. Seamus and I went over there quickly, and it appeared to be good news by Harry's expression.

"Seamus, anything happen?" After seeing the Auror shake his head negatively Harry seemed to relax a bit. "Good. First, Lavender and Nate are fine, Hank. I'll be over later and tell you everything, don't want to do it over the Floo. Seamus, you can head back whenever you'd like, Robards has a security detail in surveillance formation around the area. I've got a quick meeting and then I'll be over later. Sorry about all this."

Seamus tried to decline my offer of food but my mom obviously rubbed off on Melody as put some things in a bag and wouldn't let him out of the door unless he took it. Once he'd left Nonky came in and pulled on my shirt, so I went in and picked up Hieronymus. One quick nappy change later I brought him over to Melody and he decided it was definitely time to eat. I went back into the kitchen and dug through the dishes Mom had left, and I was in the middle of starting up the lasagna when I heard a knock on the door. After giving Melody a confused look I wiped my hands on a kitchen towel and went over to the door. A quick look through the peephole revealed Harry, but I had to make sure.

"What did Harry Potter do to the smoke when we went camping?"

From behind the door I heard him laugh. "I made it condense into a ball and then threw it out of the tent."

I opened the door and Harry gave me a smirk. "You might deserve that office someday if you keep it up." He walked in and saw Melody and covered his eyes with his hand. "Sorry!"

Melody put a blanket over her and Hieronymus. "It's all right, Harry. You have news? What happened to Lavender and Nate?"

After Harry sat in one of the chairs I sat next to Melody on the sofa. Harry took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "Sorry, it's been a day. Took us a while to get in touch with Lavender, but she left the signs. Sorry, Auror secret, but she left us a trail. When we got to her she was way up in northern Scotland, out in the hills, and she and Nate were watching a little hut. Thanks to the two of them we've caught three more WLF members. Apparently Lavender got wind of some WLF activity and followed them out there; she didn't have time to contact us but it was a good thing she followed her instincts. Let's just say we're better off today than we were yesterday and call it good."

I exhaled loudly. "Thank Merlin. So where are they now?"

"Ministry. We've all just come out of a meeting that lasted a while, and, uh, Hank? I have something for you. Don't think you'll like it." He pulled out a piece of rolled up parchment and handed it to me. "Sorry, it's procedure."

"Procedure?" I took the parchment from him. "Oh yeah, Robards said I had some stuff to sign. I know I'm not really an Auror, couldn't his have waited?"

Harry shook his head. "Not that, I'm afraid."

I unrolled the parchment and scanned through it quickly, and after the first paragraph it was apparent that the document I held in my hand was definitely not about being an Auror-consultant-for-hire. I continued on through the end and then shook my head. "A disciplinary hearing with Kingsley? Really? I'm not a real Auror. Do I need a lawyer?"

"Not for this." Harry put his glasses back on. "Internal procedure. Pendergast knows he has to do this first before trying to take you and Robards in front of the Wizangamot."

I felt Melody's elbow in my side and handed her the parchment without looking. "I'm sure Kingsley has better things to do than listen to a bunch of bullshit from Pendergast."

"That's why it's Friday at half four. Not this Friday, next Friday." Harry's expression changed as Melody moved Hieronymus from under the blanket and began to burp him. "I could do that for you, if you'd like?"

Melody winked at me and handed Harry the burp rag, and then Hieronymus. As Harry slowly walked about our living room, burping our son, I took the parchment back from Melody and began looking at the document closer, specifically to see who all was required to be at this meeting. _ Kingsley Shacklebolt, Minister of Magic; Gawain Robards, Head Auror; Harry Potter, Deputy Head Auror; Ron Weasley… _"Harry? Are you the new Deputy Head?"

A loud burp emanated from Hieronymus, causing all of us to laugh. Harry nodded sheepishly. "Yes, Robards did that before the meeting."

"Congrats, Harry. Good move for you and the Aurors, if you ask me." I looked over to Melody and she nodded, but as Harry continued to walk about our living room trying to get just one more burp out of Hieronymus I thought back to my hallway conversation with Robards, as well as the interview with Bellina Davis. I had a feeling Harry might be Head Auror sooner than he ever expected.

* * *

I woke up the next morning with the sun behind the clouds, which made our bedroom nice and dark. Perfect for sleeping. When I rolled over Melody wasn't in bed, and after taking a look at my watch I realized it was nine in the morning, much later than I'd slept in ages. After putting on my robe and groggily making my way to the kitchen I realized that Melody was on the sofa with Hieronymus, remote in hand, watching a cooking show.

"Is that what we're having today?" I sat down in the big, comfortable chair and watched the woman do something with chicken. "And why'd you let me sleep so long?"

She muted the telly and rested her head on the sofa in my direction. "You were up with him last night. I heard him, what time did he finally go down?"

"Somewhere around four, I think. I had a hard time going back to sleep after that." I watched the woman take a large cleaver and quite authoritatively begin to chop up the chicken. "Good thing I'm not a chicken."

"And to answer your second question, no, we're not having chicken, we're having Friday."

"What's Friday?"

"Meatloaf, I think that's what it is, anyway."

"Mmm…ok." I closed my eyes and rested my head on the back of the chair. "Is there tea?"

"No, we're out. There's coffee unless you want to pop down to the village."

"Fuck. I could really use a cup of tea." I raised myself up out of the chair and headed into the kitchen for coffee when the Floo sprang to life, revealing Penny's head in the flames. "Morning, Penny. Do you have any tea?"

"Um, no, but I can pick some up on my way. Morning to ya, Hank. Is Melly about?"

"On the couch with Hieronymus. Want me to get her?"

She shook her head. "Oh no, don't do that. Just wondering if ya'd mind if I popped by later with a surprise."

I saw the animated smile on her face but just chalked it up to the fact that her old Hogwarts roommate just had a baby. "Sure. Come on by. If you bring tea I'll let you borrow whatever you want."

After she disappeared from the Floo I went in and started the coffee. As it was in process I went back into the living room. "That was Penny, she…"

"I heard, Hank. It's the Floo, not the telephone. I suppose we should try and pull together soon. At least the house is in good shape."

"True. I wish Nonky didn't have to go back to Hogwarts. I think Nate has it right, the heck with Hermione, we need a house elf."

As the coffee brewed I went over to our little mail stand and began looking through the letters that had arrived. Floo bill, letter from Margaret, letter from Mom and a letter to me with small letters in the return section that spelled out 'P. Sawgrass.' In my non-caffeinated state it took me a few minutes to realize that it was from Peter, so when my brain finally started working I put down the other letters and opened it first. After I read his letter quickly I picked up the rest of the post and took it over to Melody.

"What's got you so happy, Hank?"

"This." I handed her Peter's letter. "He won. Peter, the court case." The look on her face wasn't as happy as I thought it would be, though. "What's wrong?"

"You missed the part about the final ruling."

I sat down next to her. "Final ruling?" She handed me the letter and I read though it again, and there it was towards the end of the letter. The final ruling was that if Peter sold the property within the next ten years he would be required to give his father half of the proceeds. "So? He's probably not going to sell it."

"Exactly, Hank. And who do you think will be after him to sell it until the time expires?"

"Crap. One more wedge between him and his father, not that there seems to be much hope there anyway. He isn't invited to the wedding, is he?"

She shrugged. "The last time I talked to them at the Muggle Club party Franny was trying to get him to invite his father, but Peter wasn't having any of it. I almost thought they'd have a row, but Franny dropped the subject."

"Its' their wedding, Mel, we're just hosting it. Oh, Margaret sent you a letter, and Mom wrote me one." I began handing her the envelopes and stopped. "Correction, Mom wrote you, not me. Guess I know where I stand." I leaned over and gave her a quick kiss. "Now before you say another word let me have my coffee. Merlin knows what kind of surprise Penny's bringing over today. She's almost as bad as George."

* * *

After lunch and naps for all Colony House residents, including Spit and the cats, a knock on the door brought me out of my semi-awake status. After rubbing my eyes and not being able to find my glasses I gave up and went over to the peephole. "Who is it?" Looking through the little hole I saw several boxes of tea, laughed and opened the door. "Thank God, Penny."

She gave me a hug and then cleared her throat. "I brought a surprise."

There, standing behind her in an old pair of jeans and an untucked long sleeved button-up shirt was a man who was wearing sunglasses and an old, battered black driving cap upon a mass of unruly hair. He stuck out his hand. "Congratulations, Professor."

I shook his hand, confused. "Um, thanks. I don't believe we've met."

After he let go of my hand he took off his sunglasses. "Sorry, you know Penny." He turned to her. "Told ya we shoulda warned him first." He turned back to me. "Gideon Crumb."

"Holy shit." _Gideon Crumb from The Weird Sisters was on my doorstep? _"Come in, come in." I turned back to the living room. "Mel, we've got company."

She walked into the room slowly, as she was messing with her shirt. "I've leaked though again, and I know, it's just Penny, Hank." At that moment she looked up and saw that not only was Penny there, but Gideon Crumb.

I'm not sure what I expected to happen, but the fact that she did the girl scream like teenage girls have done for decades when confronted with their teenage idols? That I did _not_ expect. Almost immediately Hieronymus began to cry, and I left to go get him. After picking him up and comforting him for a few moments I brought him out into the living room, where Melody was in the middle of apologizing to Gideon. Penny was at my side almost immediately, and I transferred Hieronymus to her arms. It was quite the sight, rocker Penny in her ripped jeans and green hair holding my son while my wife apologized to one of the most famous wizarding musicians in the UK.

I cleared my throat. "I'll make some tea, now that we have what, ten boxes? If I haven't told you lately, I love you, Penny."

Once everything had calmed down it was tea all around, including some decaffeinated stuff for Melody. As we sat there at the table Gideon held Hieronymus.

"Can't believe mine were ever this small." He looked over to Melody. "Got six. Occupational hazard."

Penny elbowed me. "Don't get any ideas."

I shook my head. "No worries there. I'm not sure if we'll ever think about number two, as tired as we are now."

Gideon looked over to me for a second, and then to Melody, and then back to me. "Um, don't suppose there's a spot where I could light up, is there? You finish all of those ones I sent over, Professor?"

Melody smacked me on the arm. "So that's where you got those awful cigarettes!"

I glanced over at Gideon and winked. "We won't do those, Mel, I have all those cigars from George and Charlie, remember?" I leaned over to Gideon and tried to use a low voice. "They were gone ages ago."

* * *

Standing out in my shed, looking at my destroyed VW van, Gideon blew a big puff of smoke towards the open door. "Looks like it went on tour with us back in, um, '88."

"Or Keith Moon got a hold of it." I took a big puff off of my pipe. "Have to say you surprised the shit out of me, showing up here with Penny."

"Yeah, well, she's a good kid. Even if she does like to bring up the fact that we played the Yule Ball when she was at Hogwarts. Makes me feel old."

"Tell me about it. I tried to do a Muggle music class one time, and besides the fact that we all ended up with mohawks, afros and looked like we crashed a Cure concert, I started talking about The Clash and mentioned all the good music from 1977. One of my first years told me his mum wasn't born yet."

"Doesn't get any easier." He leaned against the van. "Just wait until people ask you if yer son's yer grandson. People spout off the stupidest twaddle you've ever heard, especially if you've had your picture in the paper a few times."

"Or if you've sold a ton of albums for decades?" I smirked at him. "I know a little bit about that, nothing like your scale, though."

He took a couple of puffs. "Pretty good cigar. Might have to pick up some of those."

"How do you deal with it, Gideon? I mean, I've talked to Harry Potter about it, but he goes out of his way to ignore it. Besides teaching at Hogwarts I'm trying to sell books, and to do that I have to be somewhat in the public eye. How do you do it and raise a family?"

He cocked his head at me. "New book soon?"

"Nope. New album soon?"

"Fair play." He sighed and shrugged. "We've got publicity agents, managers, shite like that, but really? I just go about my business. I'm nice to the crazy lot, talk to the others like they're my neighbors and get on with it. Not my favorite neighbors, mind you. Ya know what I mean."

I stood there for a while and we smoked in silence. Finally I couldn't take it any longer. "Did you really read all my books? Even the genealogy one?"

"Yeah, I did. Found out my great-grandmother twice removed on me mum's side was a Muggle from Devon. Learn something new every day." He pointed his cigar at me. "What I'd like to hear is the real story of how you and the Mrs. got together, not the cleaned up version. Penny's let a few things drop here and there, but it didn't take much to read between the lines."

"Shit." I laughed. "Gonna take more than a couple of cigars for that story and she'd kill me if I broke out the firewhiskey."

"Smart lad." He fingered one of his dangling bone earrings. "Tell you what, when we come back around this way on tour later this summer I'll send you a couple of backstage passes. Kilted brother promise not to say anything and all that."

"Deal."

He moved away from the van and walked over to me, cigar clenched in his teeth and rubbing his hands. "So, Professor, do ya think I could see this music collection of yers?"

Later that night after Gideon left I sat in the living room with Melody on the sofa, Penny lying on the floor with her legs up in the seat of the chair. At very low volume we listened to a rough cut of some unreleased Weird Sisters tracks that Gideon pressed into my hand right before he left, and suddenly without warning Melody threw her arms around me and kissed me on the cheek.

"Gideon Crumb from The Weird Sisters was in my house!"

Penny laughed and tilted her head over to Melody. "And you have pictures, even with Hieronymus. Too bad he did that on Gid's shoulder, but don't worry, he's used to it. Six kids." She shook her head. "Told ya I'd make it up to ya for not being here when Hieronymus was born!" She looked over to me. "So what did he borrow? Don't worry, he's a geek like us, they'll be fine."

I patted Melody's head as she rested it on my shoulder. "Mostly a lot of old blues and the obscure punk stuff that I've collected over the years."

"Not yer typical Friday night, right?" Penny stretched out all the way and yawned. "Merlin, I'm getting old, half eight on Friday night and I'm yawning."

"Shit." I sat my head back on the sofa. "It's Friday, isn't it? I've lost track of days. I go back to Hogwarts on Monday."

"Well, then…" Penny pulled her legs off of the chair and sat up abruptly. "Good thing I'm here for a few days, right Melly?"


	30. Suspensions and Cups

**Chapter 30: Suspensions and Cups**

Since I was already up for Hieronymus' five in the morning feeding I decided to go ahead and get ready to head to Hogwarts for my first week back, and even though I would only be at the castle for classes that week I still felt odd about going. He was still so damn small, and I felt bad about leaving Melody, but she had Penny there for a few more days so I didn't feel completely horrible. The only problem I had was that Titus obviously wasn't expecting me that early, so the Floo didn't work. Nothing quite like standing in the fireplace, dressed and ready to go, and after throwing down the Floo powder absolutely nothing happens.

Not knowing what else to do, and not in the mood to walk, I went out to my shed and started up the little Morris. It felt good to sit in there and do something Muggle-ish, even if it still did take me a few moments to adjust to the right-hand drive. The first part of the trip went fine, as the rain was just ending, but when I came to the secret entrance road to Hogwarts that I'd used many times before I blanked out and couldn't find it. After driving around for a while, trying and failing over and over, I simply gave up and drove home.

After putting the Morris back into the shed I decided that I needed a cup of tea before I tried the Floo again, and that's where I was when Melody walked into the kitchen with Hieronymus in her arms.

"Hank? Why are you here? Is something wrong?"

"No. Yes, but not really." I took a sip of tea and realized that it had gone cold, but at that point I didn't care. I told her the story of my attempt to get back to Hogwarts and she shook her head.

"How many curse words were there? A few?" She smiled and kissed me on the top of my head. "Try the Floo again and if it doesn't work I'll contact Titus for you." She looked over her shoulder. "Aren't you forgetting someone?"

I stood up and gave Hieronymus a kiss on his forehead. "Sorry, little man."

"Not him, Hank. You're other son that goes to Hogwarts."

"What?" I rubbed my goatee. "My other…oh. The furry one." Virgil walked in and rubbed against my legs, so I reached down and petted him. "Sorry, buddy. Ready to go?" He walked over to his carrier and laid down on the top of it. "Almost."

Luckily the Floo was open on my second attempt, so Virgil and I arrived in Titus' office as planned, albeit a little later than what I had wanted. Gavin was sitting at his desk when we arrived, and soon he was over shaking my hand.

"So good to have you back, Hank. How are all the Boyds today?"

"Thanks, Gavin. Doing well, I guess." I sat down Virgil's crate. "Thanks again for everything, Melody and I really appreciate it."

He nodded. "Not at all, my boy, not at all." He smiled and clapped me on the shoulder. "I daresay you're ready for a Hogwarts breakfast, am I correct?"

"Oh yeah. Let me put my things away and let Virgil out and I'll join you."

A few moments later I entered the Great Hall with Titus and was thankfully ignored for the most part. As I sat down between Cho and Neville they both greeted me warmly, and after a little chitchat I had the pictures out. Cho laughed at the picture of Hieronymus in his Chudley Cannons outfit, but she seemed a little embarrassed.

"Hank, I'm sorry that Mike and I haven't been over to see Mel and Hieronymus, but we just couldn't coordinate the schedules. He's in London right now auditioning for a part, but we should be able to stop over on Saturday. Would that be ok?"

"Its fine, Cho, don't worry about it. How are you doing lately?"

She shrugged. "I'm fine, actually, haven't really noticed anything."

"That's good." I thought about teasing Cho about morning sickness, but thankfully I remembered how irritated she'd been at me before and kept my mouth shut. "So, what did I miss last week?"

* * *

I met with Arthur Weasley right after breakfast, and even though he had enjoyed his time talking about Muggles he had decided that it was much better to simply talk about them than teach about them. Happily he'd followed my lesson plans, and all the classes were making good progress towards their finals. I promised to thank him properly for the help, and it was soon after that when my students started showing up for my first Muggle Studies class. Arthur said goodbye, and after showing my classes the pictures and answering questions the week settled into a somewhat comfortable groove. Nate and Lavender sent an owl saying they had to return back to the UMS, I arrived at Hogwarts for breakfast, taught, had lunch, taught and then went home after the last class of the day. At Colony House I'd take Hieronymus if he was awake, give Mel some time to chill and talk with Penny, and then I'd fix supper for the three of us. Virgil decided to stay at Hogwarts, so I didn't have to worry about him, and Spit decided that he would keep tabs on wherever Hieronymus went. It was funny watching him trot around on his little short legs whenever anybody walked with Hieronymus, and at night he slept right next to the bassinet. He'd even curtailed his usual vocal barking, and Melody said that during the day all she had to tell him was "the baby's sleeping" and he wouldn't make a noise.

Friday morning when I woke up, though, I wasn't enthused about going to Hogwarts, as right after classes I'd be heading to the Ministry with Ron for the Pendergast inquiry. Adding to my unease was the fact that Penny had to leave as well, as she was due to meet with the rest of her band for a series of concert dates starting in Manilla. After starting tea I sat at the kitchen table with Churchill, as he had decided that morning that I was the most likely person to provide the cat food. I was petting him when Penny walked in and sat down at the table.

"She'll be fine, Hank. If you haven't noticed we don't do much; she pretty much does it all. Plus her mum will be over later today."

"I know." I petted Churchill and sort of blankly stared at the tea items on the table, not really focusing on anything until my eyes began to lose focus. After snapping my eyes shut and blinking several times I let out a deep sigh. "Hopefully I won't end up in Azkaban."

"Pfffft." Penny shook her head at me. "They won't send ya to Azkaban for punching a git, even if he's an Auror."

"Let's hope not."

After saying goodbye to Penny I went into the bedroom, kissed Hieronymus and put my hand on Melody's hip. "Mel? Mel, I've got to go, love."

She rolled over and rubbed her eyes. "Already? Don't worry, Hank, you'll be fine."

As I walked out of the room and took a pinch of Floo powder I really, really hoped she was right.

* * *

Ron met me in Titus' office after classes. The day had gone well, as I had been hyper-focused on my students and preparing them for their exams, but when I saw Ron the nerves came back in full force. He didn't say much, and I didn't either, so we arrived at the Ministry in silence. In my nervousness I'd forgotten my badge, so after going through the normal visitor procedure we took the lift up to the Minister's area.

Stepping off the lift I saw Robards and Pendergast sitting outside Kingsley's office, each of them as far away from the other as possible. The tension in the little waiting area was so thick you could have cut it with a knife, but luckily we didn't have to wait too long. We'd just been invited into Kingsley's office when Harry arrived and it was obvious from his sweaty appearance that he'd almost cut it too close.

Kingsley sat at his desk, and the kindly man I'd known previously was nowhere to be seen; instead, in his place, was the authoritative and imposing Kingsley, and it didn't take more than a glance to realize that the bullshit tolerance level would be incredibly low. I took a seat next to Robards, Harry took a seat to my left and Pendergast as far away from us at the table as possible, three chairs separating him from Robards. After Ron closed the door and stepped back into the waiting room Kingsley moved from behind his desk and sat across the table from us, followed right after that by an elderly wizard who I hadn't noticed before. Once the wizard had taken out his parchment and dipped his quill in ink he nodded towards Kingsley.

Kingsley looked at us and began. "Auror Department Inquiry, Thirteen June Two Thousand and Eight. In attendance Head Auror Gawain Robards, Former Deputy Head Auror Nigel Pendergast, Acting Deputy Head Auror Harry Potter…" He stopped and glanced at me and then turned to Robards. "What is Professor Boyd's title?"

"Muggle Consultant." Robards glanced at me briefly and turned to Kingsley. "But that is still under discussion."

"It will do for now." Kingsley nodded. "Bernard Hanclip, Ministry recorder will take minutes, Kingsley Shacklebolt, Minister of Magic, presiding." He paused and clasped his hands together. "In the interest of time I will dispense with the formal use of titles and the official declaration of statements. Robards, Pendergast, I have read your statements. Robards, do you have anything you wish to add to your statement?"

Robards took a deep breath and looked Kingsley in the face without wavering. "No, sir."

"Very well." Kingsley turned to Pendergast. "Pendergast, do you have anything you wish to add to your statement?"

"Yes, yes I do." Pendergast smiled, but from my location at the table it looked just the same as a snarl. "Robards has exercised poor judgment in so many occasions, but the increasing reliance on Potter and Weasley, and his endorsements of their theories, has done nothing but erode the years of tradition and procedure that has made the Auror department the model for magical law enforcement. His addition of Professor Muggle…"

Kingsley turned to the wizard who was writing. "Bernard, please indicate that Pendergast has referred to Professor Boyd as Professor Muggle." He turned to Pendergast. "Continue."

"Yes, well, Robards' addition of Mr. Boyd to the Auror department was the last straw, as the current situation with the missing professors can be directly traced to Boyd. Robards has, on multiple occasions, denied me the ability to investigate Boyd's involvement. My suspicion that he is a deep cover mole for the WLF and other Muggle organizations was shot down on several occasions, and Robards has purposely kept me out of the investigation. I was left no other choice but to conduct my investigation on my own. As for my dismissal and attack, I believe I detailed that thoroughly in my statement."

As Kingsley sat there silently I was in shock. _Pendergast was investigating me? What the hell was he doing?_ Before I could think about it further Kingsley's voice brought me out of my angry contemplation.

"As I have read your statements, and listened to the additional comments, I am ready to render my decision, but before I do so let me make myself clear; once I have rendered my decision it would be very unwise for any of the parties to disobey with my ruling." He took a deep breath. "Auror Robards. You did not follow the procedure for termination in regards to Auror Pendergast, therefore he is reinstated to the position of Auror. The appointment of Deputy Auror is your prerogative, and therefore any assignments made are still valid. Is it your wish that Harry Potter remain Deputy Auror?"

Robards nodded his head. "It is."

"Very well. As Head Auror your inability to prevent Professor Boyd from physically striking Auror Pendergast is troubling. You will be suspended one month, with half-pay, resuming your position once the suspension has commenced."

I heard Robards exhale slowly, as if he was a balloon with a slow leak.

"Auror Pendergast." Kingsley turned to the thin man, who was looking rather triumphant. "You spoke for the record regarding the rules and regulations of the Auror department, as well as its traditions. As an Auror you have personally broken several of those rules, not only by the letter but also by the spirit of the law. Your continued investigation of Professor Boyd, countermanding a direct order from your superior, cannot be overlooked. Even more troubling is your personal verbal attack on Professor Boyd. You are reinstated as an Auror, but you no longer hold any rank. In light of the statements you have given this inquiry, as well as your written statements, I urge you to consider your options. Any additional investigation regarding Professor Boyd's personal life may initiate further inquiries regarding not only your current investigations but also any past cases that you have handled. You will be suspended one month with half pay. Upon resumption of your position as Auror you will attend a meeting with me at my earliest convenience to discuss your future in the department."

It was all I could do to not look over at Pendergast and give him a 'you got yours, asshole' look. If he was smart enough to read between the lines he'd realize that Kingsley was giving him his job back so he could retire with benefits and save face. Hopefully he'd be smart enough to take it.

"Professor Boyd." Kingsley looked directly at me. "As a consultant to the Auror department you are expected to uphold all practices and standards, within your abilities. Physically attacking another Auror, even when provoked, is not acceptable. As you have not attended the standard Auror training it is obvious that you were not aware of the rules and regulations. When your current Hogwarts commitment is completed for the year you will complete the standard Auror training classes, modified for your skill level, and meet with the Head Auror upon completion. Your current contract pay will be reduced by half for one month."

"Ok." It was out of my mouth before I could think about it, and I heard Harry snort slightly.

"Gentlemen." Kingsley stood up. "The appropriate paperwork will be distributed to you directly after this meeting. Robards, Pendergast, once you have signed the documentation your suspension will be effective immediately. Potter, as Deputy Head you are responsible for the Auror Department in Auror Robards' absence. My ruling is final." He took out his wand and opened the door. "Good day, gentlemen."

I glanced over and caught a glimpse of Pendergast as he walked out of the room, and his face was red as a tomato. He didn't say a word to anyone. I followed Harry out of Kingsley's office, Robards followed right behind, and we didn't say anything as we made our way over to the lift. Ron was waiting for us, and he started to say something but when he saw Robards' face he closed his mouth quickly. Once we were all in the lift, though, he couldn't stand it.

"So what happened? Pendergast get sacked?"

I shook my head. "No, but if he's smart he'll retire."

Robards looked over to Ron. "Potter will fill you in. Looks like I finally have some time to work on my rosebushes."

* * *

When I arrived home at Colony House Melody and Hieronymus were waiting for me. I could tell from Melody's expression that she was eagerly anticipating my arrival, as well as the fact that she was rocking Hieronymus' little cradle by hand instead of charming it as usual. "What happened? Is everything ok?"

I sat down next to her on the sofa, letting myself fall into the cushions. "I guess. I'm not going to Azkaban, anyway. Hope that's ok."

I spent the next fifteen or so minutes filling her in and she was relieved that I wasn't in trouble, but I could tell she wasn't happy about my having to complete the Auror training. Luckily she didn't have time to complain as an owl was at the window, and there was no doubt whose owl it was.

"Hank, will you let in the Potters' owl?"

I let in their owl and took off the little note. After giving it a treat and sending it on its way I read the note quickly. "Looks like we don't have to worry about supper tonight, we've been invited to Grimmauld." I looked over at her and saw a concerned look on her face. "What? We're going over to Grimmauld? Ginny's a decent cook."

"It's not that, Hank. This will be Hieronymus' first trip outside of coming home from St. Mungo's."

"It'll be fine, Mel. Can't keep him here in the house forever."

When we arrived at Grimmauld Ginny came over immediately and welcomed us in, and after a bit of coaxing Melody let her take Hieronymus. It was funny watching her sit on the sofa with him while James and Albus crowded around, and Ginny tried to explain that soon they would have a brother or sister about this size. James was bored immediately, as Hieronymus couldn't play with any toys, but Albus sat there for a while until Hieronymus started crying and then he was done. As the boys went off to play with their toys I went into the kitchen and found Harry wearing an old flowered apron, cooking several things at once.

"Hey, Harry, I like the new Acting Head Auror uniform. Looks good on you."

He shook a spoon at me. "Quit it, or I'll muck up the chili."

I went over and pulled the lid off of the pot and smelled the chili and the steam rising from the pot fogged my glasses. I pulled them off and sat them on the table. "Chili, huh? So traditional British cooking tonight."

"Ginny got the recipe from your mum. Butterbeer's in the fridge."

I took out a butterbeer and pulled the cork. "So, seriously, what did you make of everything this afternoon?"

"Not sure, Hank. Hopefully Pendergast will retire, can't tell you how happy people would be if he did, but he might just stick to it just to irritate everyone. He's been a thorn in our side for years. Can't tell you how many changes we've wanted to make, only to have him derail everything. We could've got to Robards, but it isn't the proper chain of command."

"Plus he'd bitch that the Chosen One was using his celebrity." Ron walked into the room and lifted the lid on the pot. "Smells good. How soon do we eat?" He straightened up suddenly. "Excuse me. Acting Head Auror Potter, what's the timeframe for successfully implementing supper?"

Harry threw the spoon at Ron, hitting him in the head. "I'm only in charge for a month, you git."

Ron shrugged and picked up the spoon. "We'll see. Just don't make a faff of it, I'd hate to think who'd run the department if you didn't."

I reached into the fridge and handed Ron a butterbeer while Harry pulled another wooden spoon out of the drawer. "So, come on, guys, fill me in. What's been going on? I know I've missed out on a lot of stuff."

* * *

We'd just put Hieronymus down and were getting ready for bed when I felt Melody's hand on my shoulder. "So tell me what's going on. I know you three didn't take that long making chili and cornbread in there."

I pulled back the sheets and slid into bed next to her, and soon Melody snuggled into my chest. "Well, let's see. The trial for Cassandra Palliurum is coming up soon, and I know I'll be called to testify. They are still looking for Susan Johnson and the other missing professors, but there's something going on that even Harry and Ron wouldn't tell me about. Don't you think it's funny that Nate and Lavender just left? Yeah, they sent a letter, but wouldn't they stop off and see at least you and Hieronymus before leaving?"

"I did think that was odd, now that you mention it. I'm sure we'll find out eventually. What else?"

"Ron thinks that Robards will retire and Harry will be Head Auror, but Harry doesn't. Don't know Robards well enough to guess on that one. They did give me shit about having to do the Auror training."

"I'm not very happy about that, Hank. You're a professor."

"It's ok, love, I think it's really just a formality. Kept me from getting in real trouble. Funny about getting my pay docked, especially as Robards hasn't paid me in ages. Take half of nothing? Go right ahead."

"I'm sure that Kingsley knew that. Pendergast probably didn't, though."

"True." I closed my eyes and was almost at the beginning stages of falling asleep when I heard Melody say something. "Sorry, almost out. What'd you say?"

"I said it's almost over. It'll be good to have you home full time soon. Only one week left of classes."

"Yeah, I know. It will be good." She put her hand on my chest and began to fall asleep, but all I could think about was how with missing professors and Cassandra's trail coming up soon it was far from over.

* * *

"You have one hour to complete the written part of your NEWT examination. Once the hour is complete you will conduct the oral part of your examination with the Ministry approved examiners in alphabetical order." I turned the hourglass over. "You may begin."

I sat back down at my desk and watched my seventh years start writing, each of them using a special ink pen that George had developed earlier in the year. The pens were linked to the timer somehow, and as soon as the last grain of sand fell from the upper part of the hourglass the ink would immediately stop flowing in the pens, ensuring that nobody went over the allotted time for the written part of the test. It felt odd looking out at them, all busy writing, as I knew that this was the very last time I would ever have them in my class. From here on out things would be different, and I realized exactly how much I'd been invested in their lives, not just as my students. I did hear from some former students on occasion, such as the occasional owl from Angus Wandsworth who was working at the Ministry in the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes, but for the most part all my former students were busy living their lives. I pulled out the first year examinations and figured that there was no time like the present to start grading parchment, as I was positive there was no way the seventh years would even contemplate cheating.

A slight chime went off eventually, signaling that the hourglass had emptied its upper chamber, and when I looked up I saw everybody sitting still except for Carrick Frye, who was shaking his pen.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Frye, your time is up."

He shrugged. "It was just the last period. That won't count too much, will it?"

I shook my head. "No, it won't. Now if you'll bring your parchment up to my desk we can begin the oral part of your NEWTs. Miss Ellsworth, you're first, so go on ahead. The examiner will be waiting for you outside." As Franny stood up I thought I'd better reiterate the rules, just in case. "As I said at the beginning, no talking will be allowed while your classmates are taking their oral examinations. Please remain silently at your desks."

I returned to grading the first year examinations, and true to form all of my seventh year students remained silent. After what seemed like an eternity poor Liv Wapping was finally sent for, and all of my students had left my classroom. There it was, my classroom, now completely empty, and something about the empty seats was bittersweet. I sat there for a while and graded parchment, but the realization hit me that I was almost done with my official tasks at Hogwarts for the year; only the end-of-year feast remained with the House Cup and the Quidditch Cup. _The cups?_ "Holy shit." I sat down my pen and looked over to Virgil, who was sleeping on the window sill. "Virgil, I have no idea who is going to win the cups this year. This ought to be good."

After packing up my desk and reminding Virgil that he was entirely too large to sit on my shoulder anymore I headed up to my room. I didn't have to pack much, just a few things that I was planning on reading over the summer as well as my clothes, so I wasn't in any hurry and sat down in my big green chair. Virgil hopped up in my lap and I sat there with him for a while, smoking my pipe. One of the advantages of being at Hogwarts was that I could smoke my pipe, something that had obviously been curtailed while at Colony House.

I heard a knock on the door and figured it would be Neville, and it was. He came in and sat down, but unlike Neville he didn't say a word. Finally I couldn't take it any longer. "Merlin, Nev, what's going on?"

A sly grin crept over his face, finally into a full-blown smile. "Gryffindor will win the House Cup this year."

"Holy shit, you beat Ravenclaw? Good for you, Neville. What about the Quidditch Cup?"

He looked at me oddly, as if I'd grown another head. "You don't know?"

"Been a bit busy, you know. New baby, Auror shit, stuff like that."

"You'll find out soon enough, Hank."

"You suck, Longbottom."

He laughed and crossed his legs. "Another year down. As usual you've made it interesting."

"Gee, thanks." I shook my head. "Not on purpose, you know. And at least we've had Titus. Can you imagine what this year would've been like with Flurbin?"

He shuddered. "Don't want to think about that. You'll need to rest up, big class of first years coming in September. Of course, will all the future Weasley, Potter and other students that will be interesting."

"How's Audrey doing, have you heard? Mel sent me an owl, but she didn't tell me anything much, just that Percy and Audrey named the baby Molly after his mom."

"Well, Hannah sent me an owl the other day. With you and Melody having Hieronymus, Ginny about ready to have number three and Hermione having hers soon, not to mention Percy and Audrey…Hannah thinks we ought to start as well.

"You'd be a great father, Nev. Why not?" I smirked and pointed my finger at him. "You might have to work at it for a while. Horrible, I know, but I'm sure you'll soldier through it."

"Sod off, Muggle."

I laughed at my embarrassed friend, as Neville had turned a slight shade of red. "Whatever, wizard. Hey, we've got about an hour or so until we have to get ready for the feast, care for a cigar? Only got a couple of them left. Well, this box, anyway."

* * *

Before the feast officially started I sat next to Cho and Neville, both of them in very good spirits, and I have to admit I was feeling pretty good as well. Cho said that Mike got a role in a small TV show that would begin filming in approximately a month or two and that they'd decided to go over to the US to visit Mike's parents. Apparently they were waiting to tell Vicki and Matt Greene about the baby until they could do it in person, and if I remembered my old college roommates' parents like I thought they did it would definitely be a happy occasion. Neville was planning a small trip with Hannah to the Amazon rainforest, as apparently he'd received an owl from Luna Scamander about some obscure plant. When they asked me what I had planned, I really didn't want to bring them down by mentioning that I'd be attending Cassandra Palliurum's trial, so I just told them I was just going to do some reading and hang around the house with Melody and Hieronymus.

The sound level in the Great Hall dropped dramatically, and I looked over to Titus, who stood by the Headmaster's podium. He raised his arms, quieted down the students and took a deep breath. "And so we conclude another successful year at Hogwarts. To our departing seventh year students, I hope you will take what you have learned and use it well. For our returning students, we know you will build on your knowledge and come back next year refreshed and ready to learn. Before we begin the feast there is the matter of the House Cup and the Quidditch Cup. This year's Quidditch Cup winner is Hufflepuff!"

"What?" I turned to Neville. "Holy shit, you knew, didn't you?" He laughed at me, and when I looked out at my students my Quidditch team was standing and clapping, some hugging as well. I waved at them and turned back to Neville. "When was the last time Hufflepuff won the Quidditch Cup?"

He shrugged. "Dunno, Hank. You'll have to ask Madame Hooch."

Titus quieted the crowd again. "Well done, Hufflepuff. This is the first Quidditch Cup win for Hufflepuff since 1963. And now for the House Cup. This year's House Cup winner is…Gryffindor!"

As Titus named Gryffindor the winner of the cup all of the decorations in the Great Hall changed to red and gold.

I slapped Neville on the back. "Nice job, Neville." I leaned over to Cho. "Sorry, Cho, but you guys have been hogging it for a while."

She leaned over the table and looked past me to Neville. "Next year, Longbottom. Next year."

Neville smiled. "We'll be ready, Greene. Oh, and Hank, now you have your answer. 1963."

I shook my head. "Wow, before I was born. Have to send Gwennog an owl and let her know."

Then the feast began in earnest. I am not embarrassed to say that I completely ate my fill of so many different and wonderful dishes that one time I was actually contemplating asking Boomstraw for the magical equivalent of Alka-Seltzer. When Neville asked me if I wanted some treacle tart I had to close my eyes and take a series of deep breaths just to maintain any sense of composure and not do something completely awful all over the table. It was in that stuffed-to-the-gills state that Cho handed me a small piece of parchment, and I took it in my hand without reading it. Finally she tapped me on the arm.

"Hank, you're supposed to read it and pass it down the table."

"What are we, twelve?" Passing notes, really?" I opened my hand and took a look, recognizing Titus' handwriting immediately. Well, that would be interesting. I passed the note on to Neville and leaned over to Cho. "So a friendly year-end staff drink in the Headmaster's office later tonight, huh? Do you think anything big's coming down?"

"I don't know, Hank, but we'll find out."

* * *

I thought about changing into my normal clothes, jeans and a shirt, but decided to stay in my teaching attire, even going as far as to leave on my bowtie. The moment I walked into Titus' office I realized that I'd done the right thing, as everybody still looked as if they were ready to teach at a moments' notice. Well, except for their expressions, which were very relaxed, and the fact that most of them were drinking. Granted, it wasn't anything hardcore like a Bill Weasley Special, but still. I walked over to the little bar and fixed myself a small firewhiskey and water, heavy on the water.

"Perfessor Boyd!" Hagrid clapped me on the shoulder and I almost fell into the bar. "When are ye bringing the lad up to Hogwarts?" He wagged his eyebrows. "Got a few things the boy would like to see."

I shuddered to think what kinds of 'things' Hagrid would have that an infant would like to see, let alone how Melody would react. "Better let him get a little bigger, Hagrid. Don't want your pets to think he's lunch."

His eyes widened. "Oh, yeh, good idea."

As Hagrid congratulated me on Hufflepuff's first Quidditch Cup in decades Titus walked to the middle of the room and tapped his wand against his glass, bringing all conversation to a stop.

"Colleagues, I want to thank you for another wonderful year at Hogwarts. Before we return to the festivities, I do have a few words, yes, just a few. Professor Boomstraw has taken another position teaching Potions in Finland. Professor, we thank you for your service and wish you well." He raised up his glass, we all followed suit and drank to Boomstraw. "Thankfully that is the only staff change in regards to subtraction, but we do have some, ah, unofficial, yes, unofficial additions. To Professor Boyd and his new son!"

Again we raised glasses and drank, and once again Hagrid pounded me on the back in his usual manner. Once I could speak I nodded at everyone. "Thank you, everyone, for your understanding and all of the kindness you've shown my family."

"Yes, now…." Titus looked over at Cho, and she nodded. "Professor Greene will be adding to our happy throng in January of next year. To Professor Greene and her husband!" After our drink Titus smiled. "We are almost finished with our official duties, but let me remind you that all grades must be turned in at the usual time, we still have students in the castle and the rules still apply. Thank you once again for a wonderful year at Hogwarts."

The party resumed its regular murmur of conversation, and I noticed that Cho and Filch made their way out of the office. After asking Neville he said that Cho and Filch were going to be on duty for the evening, as it wouldn't be proper for us to do things as we had been drinking. I wanted to go down to the Common Room and celebrate the Cup win with my house, but I figured it was probably best to let that little celebration go on without an adult present, as I was pretty sure that I wouldn't like what I would see, and if I didn't know about it, well, so much for the better.

Later on that evening I found myself standing next to Boomstraw, and I had to admit he looked very relaxed, more than I'd ever seen him as long as I'd known him. "So, Professor, Finland, huh?"

He nodded. "Yes. It was a rather good offer."

I nodded and then stood there silently for a while. After a few moments I looked over at him. "Look, I know we haven't really been friends, or talked that much, actually, but I wanted to thank you. Peter Sawgrass, well, you know what's gone on with him this year, and I think it's great that you helped him out like you did. And as for Snape…"

"That is Headmaster Snape to you." The voice came from behind my shoulder, and after I turned around I realized that Boomstraw and I were standing next to Snape's portrait.

"I'm sorry, Headmaster Snape." I pushed up my glasses. "What I was going to say to Professor Boomstraw was that I think it was a very good idea to try and have you recognized at the anniversary ceremony, especially since…"

"Thank you." Snape sniffed. "Now I think I've had enough of staring at your back, Professor."

As I watched Snape walk out of his portrait I turned back to Boomstraw; before I could say anything he held up his hand. "Thank you, Professor Boyd. I'll admit I found your engagement at Hogwarts rather…puzzling at first. However, you have shown yourself to be a committed professor, even if you magical skills are, how shall I say it?"

"Crap? Yeah, I know, I can't do shit with my wand."

"I would have used a less derogatory term, but you are correct. In one area, however, your unfamiliarity with Hogwarts and the Wizarding world has turned out to be rather beneficial. All of my Slytherin students have reported that you treat them with the same respect as all other houses; not all of the professors at Hogwarts, unfortunately, remember to do so. For that I thank you."

"You're welcome. I never really saw the differences. Well, except for the colors and such."

"Yes." He took a drink and straightened his shoulders. And now I must be going, as I have a large amount of preparation left before tomorrow's journey." He stuck out his hand. "I wish you well, Professor."

I shook his hand. "You too, Professor."


	31. Fatigued

**Chapter 31: Fatigued**

When I woke up on Wednesday morning it was odd, as I realized that I'd slept completely through the night and that wasn't part of the plan. I'd set my alarm for nine, as I had a feeling I would be up and down with Hieronymus throughout the night and that I would need the alarm to get me out of my stupor. That wasn't the case. I rolled over and looked at my clock, and as it read ten minutes after nine I began to get worried. I shook Mel's shoulder, trying to get her to wake up, but she simply made grumpy noises and rolled back over, taking most of the sheet along with her. This wasn't how I wanted to start the day, as I was supposed to report to the Auror department after lunch to begin my Kingsley mandated Auror training.

After rolling out of bed I threw on my light robe and made my way into the kitchen, and as soon as I stepped more than a foot in that room I could smell it right away; breakfast. Since I didn't cook it, and Mel didn't cook it, that left only two other possibilities, both of which were sitting at the table. Nonky sat at one end of the table in a little booster chair, while Lavinia sat next to him, rocking Hieronymus' cradle with her foot.

"Looks like you guys were up early." I sat down at the table and poured a cup of tea. "Lavinia, did you get up with him last night?"

"Nonky helped." The house elf nodded at me, making his large ears wobble.

"Nonky and I got up with him, Hank. Melody made some bottles up ahead of time, just in case, and I thought you two needed some sleep." She smiled at me and then looked down to Hieronymus. "And you were a good baby, weren't you? Yes, you were."

"Um…ok." I took a sip of tea. "Did Melody know you were planning that?"

"Well…"

Lavinia gave me a look I recognized immediately, and it definitely meant that Melody didn't know she was planning on taking care of Hieronymus with Nonky. "Ok, just tell her next time. I'm sure it'll be fine, as I can't tell you the last time she had a full night's sleep."

"Nonky will tell Mistress Melody, Nonky will help."

It was all I could do not to laugh, as the house elf was so obviously happy to be at Colony House that he was almost bursting. Titus had told Nonky that he could choose to stay at Hogwarts and help out on occasion or ask to stay with us. The combination of broken sleep and everything else didn't take much for Melody to consent to Nonky's request, and she'd sent an owl back to Titus confirming everything. Lavinia was happy with the arrangement as well, even though she only had a short time with everyone as she'd be heading over to Australia with her Aunt Tinney in a couple of weeks.

"Why aren't you in bed, Hank?"

Melody walked into the kitchen, rubbing her eyes and wearing a very large nightgown. She'd worn it as a joke, because I'd teased her the night before about not being able to just wear a t-shirt to bed anymore, because if she kept doing that eventually Hieronymus would have friends over and she'd flash her bum and other parts. To make me pay for that she picked out the ugliest, granny-looking type nightgown and had worn that to bed.

"I just woke up. Looks like you got a full night's sleep." I nodded towards Lavinia and Nonky. "Your assistants took care of everything."

After looking at the clock and shaking her head Melody sat down at the table. "Is that really the time? Merlin. How many times were you up with him, Lavinia?"

As they went over Hieronymus' schedule I pulled _The Daily Prophet_ out from behind the orange juice and flipped it open. Nothing much of interest, unfortunately, except a small piece on Boomstraw's retirement. I flipped back over to the main page and saw a small piece about the upcoming Cassandra Palliurum trial, and despite the tea and breakfast I felt very, very tired. It was the conversation between Lavinia and Melody that brought me out of my reverie.

"I'm sorry, Lavinia, but I can't change it. Your Aunt Tinney had to do a lot of coordination to get the portkeys setup, and it would cost a lot of Galleons to change it now." Melody was feeding Hieronymus with a blanket covering the appropriate parts. "I know you want to be there, but it can't be helped."

"But it's not fair, Melody! I'll miss the NEWT dinner and the wedding, and Ruby said that…"

"I'm sorry, Lavinia. That's just the way it is." Melody shook her head. "You know your Aunt Tinney is very excited for you to spend time with her, and you want that, don't you?"

Melody looked over at me and right after she caught my eye I lifted the paper up so it was blocking her view. I didn't want to get into that conversation at all. It didn't work. She reached over and pulled the paper down and I got one of 'those' looks, the kind that could result in a lot of granny nightgown nights if I didn't respond.

I sat the paper down next to my plate and tried to be fatherly. "Listen, Lavinia, you'll have plenty of time to see them when you get back from Australia. Why don't you have a small party here, just your close friends, no more than ten or so? How does that sound? It can be a 'Congratulations Lavinia Didn't Get Eaten by a Dingo or Bunyip' party."

"And Nonky can help too! Nonky likes parties." The house elf nodded his head enthusiastically, and any reservations Lavinia had melted.

Melody raised an eyebrow at me. "We'll talk about it later."

_Fuck_.

* * *

After indulging myself with a little shopping at Flourish & Blotts and a lunch at The Leaky I made my way over to the Ministry for my very first Auror training class. To be honest I wasn't taking it that seriously, as it was obvious that the only reason I was actually taking the class was that it got me out of trouble with Kingsley on a technicality, so I wasn't too worried. There was no way that I could actually do the stuff the other trainees would do with their wands, so I figured it would mostly be a lecture class for me; anytime there were any actual activities I would probably just end up standing on the side and waiting and watching. I'd even thought about having a pint with lunch but figured that coming into my first class smelling like beer was probably a bad idea.

I made my way to the Auror floor and surprisingly didn't even need my badge dot to find my way to my old office. No assistant was waiting for me, which I didn't mind since I really wasn't doing anything official. I'd planned to use the Ministry office as my little writing getaway, a little space to do some reading and researching since my laptop wouldn't work there and I'd stopped writing by hand ages ago. After unlocking my door I realized that, once again, I would have to have the damn thing painted as instead of the nice-smelling white walls, every freaking wall, including the ceiling, was blood red. It felt like I'd walked into a heavy metal album cover. I sat down at my desk, took my books out of my bag and rummaged around in my robe until I found my pipe.

I was smoking and reading an interesting book I'd picked up earlier that day on the history of the Aurors when I heard a familiar voice.

"So how do you like the new color?" Edith stood at the door, smiling.

"What do you think?"

"I know I'm not your assistant anymore, but I'll put in an order request for you. Same as last time?" She sat down in the chair next to the desk. "Or would you prefer something in a shade of black? I think that would smell like licorice."

"Funny, you're really funny, Edith. So what's up?"

"Ron thought you'd be here. I'm to collect you and take you to the training room. It would probably show up on your badge but I figured, knowing you…"

"That I'd be lost." I tapped the bowl of the pipe. "Safe assumption, actually. So how long do I have?"

She looked at her watch. "You can probably finish that and we'll be there in plenty of time. You've already done the paperwork and have your badge, and that's what the others are doing now. Are you ready for this?"

I shrugged. "I guess. I mean, I won't be able to do anything wand related, so it shouldn't be too bad."

She raised an eyebrow at me but didn't say anything.

"Oh come on, Edith. How bad can it be, I mean, really? Aurors do a lot of complicated spell stuff, as far as I've seen, and you know I can't do any of that shit. How long does this class go, anyway?"

"First section is eight weeks. After that the candidates that remain specialize and go into other classes."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a sec. The candidates that remain?" I pushed my glasses to the top of my head. "Are you saying this is like boot camp?"

She cocked her head. "What's boot camp? Do Muggles have training about their footwear? You're a strange lot, Professor."

I stood in the incredibly large, dank and somewhat gloomy training room with Harry Potter. He'd met Edith and me on the way down to the training room and offered to take me the rest of the way, which made me glad, as after learning from Edith that this was to be a boot camp kind of thing I was worried. We were a little early, and since nobody else had joined us I took it as an opportunity to find out exactly what I was in for.

"So, Harry, this Auror training…how bad is it going to be?"

"Not too bad, Hank, this is just the introductory portion. If you were going to be a real Auror you'd be in training for at least a year, maybe more depending on your progress. You'll just be here for the initial part. Edith did mention that its eight weeks, didn't she?'

"Yeah. Not looking forward to telling Mel that I'm going to be away from home that long. Nothing like saying 'oh hey, honey, I know I just got back from Hogwarts and you just had our son, but I'm going to be away for eight more weeks, ok?' I know that'll go over great. I'm just glad you're teaching this thing."

Harry laughed. "Oh no, Hank, I'm not teaching. I'm just down here to do the 'welcome to the Aurors' bit. Dinkle's your instructor."

At that point some of the other candidates began to file into the room, mostly on their own, but a few of them came in talking to each other. They all looked so young, and that's the exact moment I realized that all of the candidates had just left Hogwarts. I recognized a few Gryffindors, some Ravenclaws, and then I saw one young woman walk into the room and felt a wonderful sense of irony. She saw me, laughed, and came over to me.

"Professor Muggle! Why are you here? Are you helping teach?" Ruby Smythe-Warring smiled up at me. "I didn't know you helped teach with the Aurors."

"Um, I don't, Ruby. I'm a student, too."

A tall, thickset man with close-cropped blonde hair walked into the room and made his way over to Harry. All conversation in the room seemed to cease immediately after he walked in, and it didn't take much to realize that this must be the instructor. After a few words with Harry he walked up to the front of the room and clapped his hands.

"All right, wannabes, my name is Auror John Dinkle, and I am your Instructor. In this class you will refer to me as Auror Dinkle, Auror Instructor or AI. First twat that calls me John, Mr. Dinkle or Professor will not like the results. Any jokes about my name will make you wish you'd never been born. You have been selected as an Auror candidate based on your NEWT scores, your brains and the fact that you have a little bit of skill. You must think you're the cream of the crop, not going into some namby-pamby department like Magical Games and Sports, but that remains to be seen. Just because you made it into this class it doesn't mean you are going to be an Auror. Being an Auror means being the best of the best, and if you aren't the best your arse will be out of here faster than a Firebolt. There are no house points or detentions here, just me, and what I say goes."

He looked around the room, locking eyes with everybody, and when he got to me he held his gaze for a moment. I felt my stomach churn rapidly, and that second helping of lunch at the Leaky was rapidly turning out to be a bad idea.

"Now, listen up, candidates, as our Acting Head Auror has a few words to say to you."

Harry joined Dinkle at the head of the room and started talking about the history and the purpose of the Aurors, how they were sometimes the first, last and only line of defense against the bad parts of the wizarding world, but after that I didn't hear much. Instead I was thinking that if I only hadn't punched Pendergast I would be sitting at home right now, reading my books and listening to Muggle music while Melody sat in the rocking chair with Hieronymus. All of the other candidates were still in their teens, and I was pushing forty; if there was any physical training I was pretty sure I was going to die. At least Melody had Hieronymus to remember me by.

The end of Harry's talk snapped me out of my thoughts, and Dinkle took over again, this time pacing up and down with his hands clasped behind his back. Finally he stopped, took out his wand and waved it around the room, causing coat hooks to appear on the walls with nameplates above them. "When you report here tomorrow at 0600 you will come in and place your robes on the hooks under your names. You will only need your wands. Training equipment will be issued to you shortly, and if you can't remember what your name looks like I highly suggest you figure that out now. After hanging up your robes line up in rows of five. You have two minutes."

_Shit, I was in fucking boot camp._ I glanced over my shoulder and thankfully saw my name only a few feet away, so I ran over and took off my robe. As soon as that was completed I hurried over and stood next to a Ravenclaw boy and saw Ruby stand next to me. It was at that precise moment that I positively, absolutely knew that I was going to kill George Weasley, and I was hoping against hope that Dinkle wouldn't comment on what I was wearing, because everybody else was in trainers and jeans, unlike me. That hope was massively short-lived.

Dinkle walked directly over to me and stood very close. "What in the Merlin's name are you wearing, candidate?"

My black combat fatigues, black combat boots and black shirt were what George Weasley said all Auror candidates wore, and I knew I shouldn't have believed him, but for some reason I did. I summoned up my voice somehow and replied. "Fatigues, Auror Dinkle.'

He pursed his lips and shook his head. "Oh, you'll be fatigued, that's for sure. I'm talking about these." He took his wand and tapped it against my guns.

I had decided to come to training as kitted out as possible, another George suggestion. "Department issued firearms, sir."

Luckily Harry stepped forward at that time and explained in a low voice to Dinkle about me, my inclusion in the class and my guns. After Harry stopped talking Dinkle looked me over. "Right. Hang 'em up on the hook with your robe, I won't be having you shoot one of my candidates with that Muggle nonsense."

As soon as I returned from my hook and stepped back into the line Dinkle walked back over to me, looked me up and down and then addressed the rest of the candidates.

"Looks like we have ourselves a celebrity, class. Professor Muggle, direct from Hogwarts. How many of you were in his class?" Ruby's hand went up, as well as a couple of other students that I'd had when Muggle Studies was compulsory for their year. Dinkle nodded. "Right, well, in this class, Professor, I'm in charge, got that? No special treatment. Well, maybe a bit, don't want to have a mark on my record for causing an elderly candidate fatality. I've got enough of those for the regular candidates. Ok, let's get to it."

When I arrived back at Colony House long after supper I staggered into the living room and fell onto the couch, exhausted. My glasses were sort of smashed up against my face and one of the throw pillows but I really, really didn't give a shit.

"Hank? Hank is that you?"

I heard Melody's voice and footsteps but I couldn't move. Eventually I heard more footsteps and then Lavinia's laughter.

"Hank, are you dead?" Melody knelt down next to me and took off my glasses. "Oh Merlin, you're a mess."

I rolled over so I could see her better. "Two things. One, I'm going to kill George Weasley. Two, I might not be able to, because this training is going to kill me first."

She took her hand and smoothed my hair. "Oh Hank, I'm so sorry. Hermione sent over a note saying you'd probably be a mess today. She said Ron was pitiful those first few weeks of training."

"Why did I have to punch Pendergast? I mean, well, ok, it was totally worth it, but shit. I'm in there with a bunch of kids. Hell, Ruby's in there. I don't think I'm going to make it."

"Let me get you some supper and then a bath. Actually, let's get you in the bath first; you're all sweaty and smelly."

* * *

I was almost awake when I arrived the next day for Auror training, as getting up that early was definitely not something I was used to. Even the quick commute to the Ministry by Floo hadn't helped, as I stood there in my trainers and Auror department issued workout clothing wishing I had a cup of tea and at least four more hours of sleep. At least Melody had given me the night off regarding Hieronymus, but that hadn't helped. I was sore as hell, definitely feeling my age and lack of physical fitness over the years.

As I stood there next to Ruby and a Ravenclaw boy whose name I couldn't remember Dinkle walked into the classroom with a scary smile on his face. It hadn't taken us long to realize when Dinkle smiled it wouldn't be fun for any of the candidates. He stood up in front of the room and looked out at us for a while before finally taking a deep breath and launching into the plan for the day. Apparently we were the sorriest lot of Auror candidates he'd ever seen, and when he mentioned the deplorable level of physical fitness he looked directly at me and smirked. I knew right then that my day of Auror training was going to suck.

Before he could get us going, though, a red parchment airplane zoomed into the room and hovered in front of his face, and the airplane seemed to be quivering. He pulled it down and started reading intently. During the quick break the Ravenclaw boy leaned over to me.

"So why do you have Muggle guns?"

Before I could answer Ruby leaned forward and semi-whispered "He grew up a Muggle in America."

"Oh. Ok."

That seemed to satisfy the Ravenclaw boy, and before I could protest that all Americans weren't issued guns at birth Dinkle got our attention.

"Class is cancelled for today. We'll resume tomorrow at the same time. Boyd, come with me."

Ruby gave me a questioning look but I just shrugged, as I had no idea whatsoever why Dinkle would need only me. That question was answered soon enough, as he walked up to me, and I could tell by the look on his face that whatever it was it wasn't going to be pleasant.

"Follow me, Boyd. Come on, no time to waste."

I hurried behind Dinkle and asked him what was going on, but he only told me that as soon as we got to Ron's office I'd get the full details. Edith wasn't at her desk when we finally made it Ron's office, but as soon as I stepped in there with Dinkle it was obvious why she wasn't at her post; it seemed like every spot in his office was filled with someone, including Invisibles and Draco Malfoy. After we entered Dinkle shut the door and Ron stood up from his desk.

"Ok, here's what we know. Malfoy has brought us some information and the tip paid off. The little cottage up in Scotland by the lake that we've had a surveillance team on has the location of the missing professors that have not been recovered, but it's more than that. Apparently there's a larger house north of the cottage and the WLF is there in force. We're going to go in and get the professors and do as much damage to the WLF as possible. Remember, we need to capture as many of them as possible for questioning, do not use spells that will prevent that. Here's what we know of the layout."

Ron pulled a giant sheet of parchment from the top of his office wall and began sketching out a rough layout of what the Aurors could expect. There was only one road leading down through the mountains to the lake, and that would be blocked by a team of Aurors. Continuing down the steep and winding road the hills were thick with trees, and eventually the road ended at the cottage which was surrounded by a fence. All along the fence line were tents, approximately ten, which could hold a number of WLF members. South of the lake, through the trees and only accessible through a small trail was the smaller cottage and the shed where the missing professors were being held. Out in the lake, about a half mile away from shore, was a tiny little island thing.

"The Invisibles will split up into two teams, the first team will engage from this little island while the other Invisibles and Professor Muggle will secure the professors. Once that's been completed the main Auror group will move north from the shed and surround the eastern side of the cottage. A second Auror team, led by me, will come in on the road and surround the western side of the cottage. We'll use the lake as a natural barrier. Harry will be leading the main Auror force. We leave in fifteen minutes, get yourself ready and meet in the ready room." He stopped for a moment and took a deep breath. "Let's go get those bastards."

Before everyone could leave Harry stood up. "Remember, we're doing this by the book. Our primary objective is the missing professors, and then the WLF."

_Holy fucking shit. It was about to go down, and go down big. What the hell was I doing here?_ I looked over to Rolf, who had walked over to me. "Rolf, what the hell is going on? Why am I going?"

"Once we secure the professors we want you to keep them calm and watch over them. Potter said that they've responded well to you. You're to stay well out of the fighting. Do you have your guns here?"

"Um, yeah, they're in my office here."

"Let's go get them, just in case. I'll brief you more on the way."

We headed off immediately and a few moments later as I stood in my office and strapped on my guns Rolf reached into his robe and pulled out some sweets and put them on the desk.

"Part of George's new line. I understand you helped inspire them. The blue ones will let you speak French and the red ones counteract the charm. One of the professors in the shed is from Quebec, you'll need them."

I pulled them off of the table and went to shove them in my pocket, and that's when I realized I was still wearing the Auror workout clothes. "Um, I don't have any pockets. Do I have time to change?"

He looked down at his watch briefly. "Yes, but make it fast. I'll wait outside."

I quickly threw off the workout gear and slipped back into my jeans and Ramones t-shirt, put on my guns and after shoving my feet into my trainers I grabbed the sweets. I stuck them in my jeans pocket and opened the door quickly. "Ok, I'm ready."

"Good, let's go."

Rolf began walking very quickly, and I had to lengthen my strides to keep up with him. When I finally caught up with him I couldn't contain myself any longer. "Is this it, Rolf? Is this finally going to be over?"

He glanced over, and his eyes were intense. "We'll see."

When we arrived in the ready room, as Ron had called it, I recognized one of the Invisibles standing next to Terry as Paul, the guy who helped me out on my bachelor party, as well as letting me bum a smoke off of him before that. I didn't have a chance to say anything as Harry began to coordinate groups of Aurors around portkeys. I couldn't believe the number of Aurors in the room, as I'd never seen that many in one place, and it felt like I was part of an invasion force. Terry Boot was nearby, as well as Dinkle, and as they talked I felt myself growing more and more nervous_. I'm a professor, I'm not really an Auror, and if I survive this thing Melody is going to kill me._

"Do you really know how to use those things?" Dinkle stood very close to me. "Or are you just trying to show off. Bet you've probably never even fired a shot in anger."

"He has." Boot moved up next to me, at least a good six inches taller than Dinkle, and Terry looked like James Bond in his suit. "And he's killed two men. Leave him alone, Dinkle." I watched Dinkle step back, look at me in surprise, and then turn away. Boot leaned over to me. "He was my AI. Didn't like him then, either."

As soon as we arrived in the heavily wooded area I realized that it was definitely going to be interesting as it was raining steadily and, much to my chagrin, I really had to pee. There wasn't time to complain about either thing, though, as we began to move out in a fan formation, Boot at the head with four other Invisibles. I stayed towards the rear, walking carefully through the undergrowth after taking off the latches on my side holster and pulling out the gun from the holster towards my back. Once we got in visual range of the little cottage and the shed everyone stopped and crouched down, so I followed suit. Boot made a couple of hand signals and all of the sudden everyone turned invisible. The Invisibles really fucking were invisible. _Great_.

I leaned up against the trunk of a tree, stunned, as nobody had said a word to me about what the actual details were for the mission. Not knowing what else to do I stayed right where I was. If I fucked this up somehow and ended up in St. Mungo's or worse…shit, what would happen to Melody, Hieronymus and Lavinia? My mother-in-law's words to me after the whole Irish incident flashed into my thoughts, and I finally realized what she'd been yelling about.

A flash of pale yellow seemed to envelop the house and the shed, which I figured had to mean that the Invisibles had deactivated whatever protections the WLF had on the buildings, so I cautiously went forward, going from tree to tree and hiding behind the trunks on each successive move. Eventually I got fairly close to the shed and when I stopped behind the closest tree I felt myself bump into something soft, so I knew it had to be one of the Invisibles. I felt whoever it was grab my shirt and pull me down, so I couched down and moved so I was directly behind the trunk of the tree. At that moment I felt as if whoever was in the shed could probably hear my heart beating as it was going so fast I thought it would just jump out from behind my ribcage and shoot through one of the windows. For several seconds, although it felt like an eternity, all I could hear was my breathing loud in my ears, as if it was amplified.

Then it began. I saw the door of the house fly open at the same time that the door of the shed and jets of light streamed into the buildings. There were shouts and other jets of light, green and red, which came out of the door. A window shattered in dramatic fashion, but soon everything was quiet. It was over almost as soon as it had begun, but I didn't know exactly what to do; should I stay where I was and wait or should I go into the shed? After waiting a few more seconds I flipped the safety off of my gun and ran as fast as I could through the open area to the shed and slid into the half-darkness, my gun held out straight and ready.

"Lower your weapon, Professor."

I recognized Boot's voice, so I slid the safety back on and holstered my firearm. A few seconds after that Boot and another Invisible materialized, and once they had I looked around the shed. Two wizards lay on the floor; one face up and the other face down, half-propped on a little table. Boot waved his wand and said some spells I'd never heard of in my life, and moments later three coffin-shaped boxes appeared leaning up against the far wall. I followed him over to the boxes, and after examining them closely he shook his head.

"Look Professor. Those symbols? Beyond me." He looked back behind me and spoke to what seemed like the thin air. "Your department, Malfoy."

Out of nowhere Draco Malfoy materialized and stepped forward. _When the hell did he get here? Was he always here and I didn't notice it?_

After bending over the boxes, so close that his nose almost touched the wood, Draco stepped back a few steps. He put his wand in his pocket, clasped his hands together and began an incantation. About halfway through his incantation his voice changed, taking on a tone that resembled an old woman, and he began to glow a dull red color, starting at his hands and soon enveloping his entire body. Once that was complete he pushed his hands outward, and the red glow surrounded the boxes, causing the entire shed to shake. Loud cracking noises came from the boxes and almost immediately after that the red glow ceased, both on the boxes and Draco.

Without saying a word Boot went over to the nearest box and pulled off the lid, which half-disintegrated in his hands. Inside was a woman in her early twenties who looked as if she had just decided to take a nap. The other Invisible in the shed removed the other two lids, and they duplicated the first box, as their lids crumbled under his touch. An older man with glasses was in the middle box while Susan Johnson, the professor from Laveau, peacefully slept in the third.

"That's Susan Johnson." I pointed to the third box. "I recognize her from the pictures in her office. Laveau."

Boot went over and once again waved his wand over the three professors, and after about five minutes after he'd stopped casting the spell the bodies began to stir within the boxes.

"Malfoy, come with me. Hoskins keep watch and let Boyd deal with the professors." He looked over at me quickly. "They'll be groggy, but they'll come out of it in about ten minutes." With that he headed out of the shed, followed closely by Draco.

I watched the Hoskins follow Draco to the door, but then he stood there with his wand at the ready. I went back over to the boxes and saw some finger movement, as well as eye movement behind closed eyelids. They'd be waking up soon, and I knew I had to explain things to them. _What the hell was I going to say?_


	32. Low Value Target

**Chapter 32: Low Value Target**

So there I was, in a little shed in somewhere Scotland, waiting for three Muggle Studies professors to come out of some sort of suspended animation. I'd watched the Invisibles do the whole "bind and seal" trick on the prone WLF members, and even though I'd seen it before it was like watching a crazy horror movie as their flesh knit itself up over their eyes and mouths. Harry, Ron and the rest of the Aurors were launching attacks on the main cottage, and somehow the other Invisibles were going underwater towards the same goal, but for once I was just thankful I was out of the action. All I wanted right at the moment was for the professors to wake up and have Hoskins or someone else give me a portkey or something else so I could get them, as well as me, back to the Ministry.

The Invisible I only knew as Hoskins stood at the door of the shed, wand out and ready, scanning the distance for any sign while I stood there and shook my head. This was definitely not on my list of things to do that day, but at least the three missing professors were here and safe. What was happening away from my little shed, though, was forefront in my mind. If Rolf's comments were any indication, the engagement here by the lake was about ten times as large as the Irish burnt-out house deal, and in my mind that was huge.

A low groan from one of the boxes brought my attention back to the current situation, and I went over to see who was waking up first. The younger woman was stirring, and when I bent over to hear her I could only make out a few words, and even though I couldn't understand them I could tell that they were French. I reached into my pocket and pulled out one of the sweets. After unwrapping it quickly I chewed it up and swallowed, waiting for some sort of feeling or tingling to tell me that it had worked, but there wasn't any. I put my hand on her arm and tried to say it softly and in a reassuring manner, but what came out wasn't what I expected.

"Det er ok. Du er sikker nu."

Hoskins looked back at me and shook his head. _What the fuck? I tried to tell her that it was ok and that she was safe and it came out like that?_ I reached down on the floor and picked up the wrapper and saw DANISH clearly printed on the white wrapper in bright red text. _Sonovabitch_. I pulled all of the sweets out of my pocket and moved them about in my hand until I saw the one that said FRENCH. After chewing and swallowing it I leaned back over the woman and took a deep breath.

"Il est ok. Vous êtes en sécurité maintenant."

Her eyes fluttered a moment and then she found my face and murmured a weak "Merci."

"Professor, get ready, they're coming!" Hoskins yelled at me and then headed out the door, wand moving rapidly.

"Oh et puis zut, ce qui est excellent. Merde." _Fuck, I was still speaking French! _I threw the rest of the language sweets on the table, grabbed the English one and quickly ate it. I looked over to the other two professors, who were starting to come around as the professor from Quebec had a few seconds before. "Do any of you have wands? Wait, shit, of course you don't. Fuck."

I took out both the Beretta and the Walther and stood at the door, hoping to get some sort of sign that would prove that Hoskins was just overeager or had misread the signs. No such luck. After a massive flash of light that seemed to cover the house and the shed Hoskins stood right outside the shed dueling a guy in a dark robe while the other Aurors from the little cottage were battling three other wizards. One of the Aurors went down and that was enough for me. I stuck the Walther in the back pocket of my jeans and used two hands to steady my aim, remembered what Boot had taught me and aimed for his chest. Obviously I wasn't as steady as I had hoped because the bullet hit him in the hip.

As what I assumed was a WLF wizard went down everything changed; my shot was enough of a surprise to momentarily draw the attention of the wizard dueling Hoskins, which the Invisible took advantage of immediately. The other two WLF wizards created a small explosion near the house, and as the dirt and everything else clouded the air they took the opportunity to Apparate away. Once the dust had cleared I went cautiously back inside the shed, hoping above all that the fight outside hadn't been a diversion to draw me away from the professors, and luckily the fates were on my side, as the only thing I saw when I went back in was the three professors sitting on the ground, rubbing their legs and arms.

Before I could say anything to the professors the Aurors came into the shed, dragging someone. They put the Auror on the table that had been hit with a spell, and after quickly taking her robe off they tried to repair the damage, but it was too great. As they covered her with her robe I heard Hoskins calling me, so I went out of the shed to see him binding up the two WLF wizards, one of whom was bleeding profusely from his hip.

"Help me get them in the shed. More room in there." Hoskins thrust two wands into my hands. "Give those to the professors. We're going to need everybody."

The waiting seemed to stretch out forever. I knelt down by the window of the shed and kicked the glass out of my way with a foot and got a bad look from Hoskins so I just kept still after that. Susan Johnson had gathered the other two professors and they sat in the back corner of the shed with wands that were not their own.

The Aurors tended to the wounded WLF wizard because Hoskins hadn't bothered. When I asked him about it he said he really didn't care if the man lived or died, his job was to protect me and the other professors until we got reinforcements or the portkey to get out of there. As soon as I heard that I remembered what Harry and Ron, not to mention George, had told me a long time ago, that the Invisibles were quite different from the Aurors. At that point I really started wondering whether there was a lot of difference between the WLF and the Invisibles. Obviously the Invisibles don't want to kill Muggles, but besides that…

"Professor Boyd."

I turned to see Susan Johnson motion me over, so I sort of duck-walked over there in order to keep my head down below the windows. "Yeah?"

"Can you tell us what the blazes is going on?" She glanced around at the room and then returned to me, locking onto my eyes.

I took a deep breath. "You've been kidnapped by the WLF and you're sort of safe now. That much I already told you, but there's more. Right now the Aurors and, um, some others are assaulting a cottage that seems to be one of the big headquarters for the WLF. We're waiting until we hear word of what's happened there or someone brings us a portkey so I can get you guys out of here. Until then we're on guard to protect y'all and get you out of here as soon as possible."

"Incoming." Hoskins' tone was flat. He looked over at me. "Window. Be ready."

Ignoring the desire to soldier-crawl along the floor I ran over to the window, pressed myself to the wall and peered out of the window for a second. At least ten shapes were moving through the woods towards our location, and when they got to the edge of the clearing an electric blue light fizzed and popped in the air. The figures stopped immediately and one of them held up an arm and made a signal with their wand.

"Thank Merlin." Hopkins relaxed for a moment and then went out of the shed. From his body language I could see he was relieved, and after waving his wand for a moment the electric blue light that had enveloped the shed dissipated.

Hopkins met them a few yards away from the shed, and soon all of them entered the building, some in worse shape than others. All of their hoods were up but one of them walked with a limp, another was holding his arm which seemed to be smoking and all of them looked exhausted. The shortest one put the hood on their robe down and I was surprised to see Miranda Fleming, and this time she didn't look like a Goth temptress, as her black hair was pulled back into a ponytail and she didn't have on a lick of makeup.

"Portkey's gone. Wilberforce had it, and he didn't make it. Nothing left of him." She wiped her face with the sleeve of her robe. "WLF is going after the roadblock; they're hemmed in on all the other sides. They come after you?"

Hopkins shook his head negatively. "Just a few of them. Lost Matterby. Professor Muggle shot one and we got another, the others Apparated away. Didn't think they should be able to do that."

She nodded angrily. "Yeah, we found that out, too. Don't know how they got around the anti-Apparition spells." She looked over to the missing professors. "Can they move?"

I saw Susan Johnson give me a look that I interpreted as 'maybe.' I took a deep breath. "Don't know, Miranda. Maybe, but even if they can it'll be slow. How far away do we have to go?"

She pulled a map out of her robe and sat down on the floor, spreading it out over the debris and broken glass. "We're here, and the next available extraction point is there." She pointed with her wand to the cottage next to the lake. "They've abandoned the cottage and the tents, all the fighting is up the mountain at the roadblock. Aurors were securing the cottage when we left, but I don't know if they've held it or not."

"We'll chance it." The dark-headed Auror with a mustache stepped over to the little map. "We need to get them out of here."

"Agreed." Hopkins put his hand on my arm. "You, too."

* * *

The first few minutes of the trip to the cottage were miserable; the rain continued to fall, footing was horrible and we had to go slow in order to not completely overwhelm the professors. I helped Susan Johnson as it was most important to keep people that could actually use magic available if anything happened. According to Miranda it was almost two miles up the shoreline of the lake until we would reach the cottage, but walking that distance felt like fifty miles; my nerves were on end, Susan was getting progressively weaker and the scenery didn't help. Occasionally we would find a body, and even though most of the time it was a WLF member, the time we found a dead Auror made things even more tense.

After stopping momentarily to let the professors rest I watched Miranda, Hopkins and Mr. Mustache Auror speak together away from the main group. Hopkins pointed further into the trees, but both Miranda and Mr. Mustache pointed towards the lake. Eventually Hopkins nodded his head.

That led us right down to the water's edge, and even though the rain was pounding at that point I could see where blood had stained the shore. After going a bit further I heard a gasp from Susan. She pointed out to the lake, where a naked leg, severed about mid-thigh, bobbed along in the water.

"Come on, let's go. Keep moving." Hopkins kept his voice somewhat quiet, but I could hear that he was disturbed by what he saw.

We kept going, slowly, and at our pace I was completely soaked to the bone; with every step I took water sloshed through my socks and out of my trainers. I was just about to ask for another break, as Susan's steps were slower and seemed to take more effort, but right before I could Mr. Mustache waved everyone down. I crouched down along the shore, hoping the small ridge of grass would hide us if anything happened, but thankfully it never came to that. Seamus Finnegan stood at the top of the ridge and waved us up, and the sense of relief that went through Susan was tangible; I felt her muscles relax and she almost lost her hold on me. I held on to her as we made our way up the little incline, finally setting our feet down on the gravel of the pathway to the cottage.

When we entered the cottage it looked as if a biker gang had gone nuts in there, as the furniture was flipped over, some pieces were smashed and paper was all over the place. Most of the windows were gone and the light fixture in the ceiling was teetering to one side, but one table was upright in the middle of the room, and sitting at that table were Auror Dinkle and Harry Potter. Mr. Mustache went over immediately and began his report, leaving the rest of us to collapse in a wet, thankful mess.

"What's your report, Smith?" Harry glanced over at us and then turned to the Auror. "Why are they still here?"

"Muggle Team successfully recovered the professors, but Wilberforce didn't make it, and the attack took out the portkey. Auror Matterby was also a casualty. WLF personnel are all incapacitated back at the cottage and the shed. One of them is injured, but we performed some emergency measures to keep him alive. Won't be able to make it much longer, so if we want to keep him alive for questioning he'll need to see a Field Healer."

Dilkins looked over at the Auror with a confused look on his face. "Couldn't you minimize the spell damage?"

Mr. Mustache shook his head. "Not a spell, sir. Muggle bullet wound."

I saw Dilkins glance over at me, surprised. I wanted to tell him to piss off, but I just didn't have the energy. Hell, at that moment I didn't know if I could even walk.

I was just about ready to answer Susan's question of where exactly we were when Harry called my name. I apologized to Susan and joined him and Dilkins at the table, turning over an upturned chair to be able to sit down. Harry had stacks of folders full of parchment next to him and when I looked over at him he took a deep breath.

"We're in mop-up right now; most of the WLF has either been captured or has buggered off. You'll get the full briefing later, but I thought you'd better see this." He pushed a folder over to me.

I opened the folder and saw a picture of me with Melody on the staircase at Grimmauld from _The Daily Prophet_, a picture that had been taken a couple of years ago. Underneath the picture was a series of parchment pages, and as I flipped through them I felt my stomach turn somersaults. All of my family was listed, as well as Melody, Lane, her aunt and uncle as well as her cousin. A parchment had the title 'Operation Scorpio' detailed the initial hit on me that Arthur Weasley and Lavender had prevented, and in red ink at the bottom, in large letters, was the word 'FAILED.' I looked through the rest of the parchment and didn't really read the rest, just saw my name and some more pictures, including one of me with Melody in Diagon Alley when she was pregnant. When I got to the last piece of parchment, though, I felt my breathing slowly return to normal, as the words 'Low Value Target' were written in the same large, red letters.

"Hank?" Harry looked over to me, concern easily read on his face. He took off his glasses. "Hank, do you understand what that means?"

I exhaled loudly. "I think so. I'm a little fish now?"

"Yeah." He nodded. "They're after bigger fish, as you say. I'll fill you in later, but for right now it looks like the WLF has moved on. You, Melody and Hieronymus should be safer now."

"Fucking hell, about time." I sat back in the chair and looked at the two Aurors. "What about the other professors?"

"The same. I'll fill you in later, Hank."

I understood what Harry was trying to say, that it was not the time or place to have the full discussion. "Ok, got it. So when can we get out of here?"

"As soon as we can manage another portkey. Shouldn't be more than a half hour."

I nodded and flipped back to the front of the folder, skipped over my little dossier and took a look at Melody's. All the pertinent data was there, her birthday, house at Hogwarts, job changes, marriages…marriages. I took my finger and found the footnote, which directed me to page B6-W. Flipping the parchment over I found the page, and there it was; the full name of Melody's ex-husband. She'd always just referred to him as her ex or called him Brian, but there was everything, right on the page in some extravagant and bold handwriting. Brian Humphries, age 33, married to Faith (Winthrop) Humphries. One daughter, Hope, age nine. Their address was listed in a magical part of London, and Brian was the junior partner in the Filkworth, Huntington, Bracepik and Humphries architecture firm. The note on the Humphries family was that they had no connection to Melody anymore and that they were of no value as targets, as the entire family consisted of pure-blooded wizards and witches with no proclivity of engaging Muggles.

As I sat there and waited I wondered if Melody knew all of that information, and then it hit me. In a few years I would have her ex-husband's daughter in my Muggle Studies class.

* * *

As soon as we arrived at the Ministry by portkey Edith and a group of Healers were waiting for us. The Healers took away the professors immediately and I promised Susan that I would see them as soon as possible. I tried to ask Edith, once the professors had left, if she knew what had happened at the lake and she shook her head, as she was hoping that I could fill her in. Instead of heading to my office she steered me towards Ron's, as all my things were in there. The painting order had been filed and by some stroke of luck the maintenance team had decided to start immediately.

Once we got to the office Edith took out her wand and siphoned all the water out of my clothes except for some very dense spots like the pockets of my jeans, but I could live with that as I was tired of being wet and cold. She gave me a thin blanket to help keep me warm and brought me a cup of tea. We were about halfway through the tea when Ron came in the office and it was obvious from his face that he wasn't happy. He didn't even look at me; instead he went directly to his desk, threw his wet robe onto the floor and dug into his desk drawers. Failing to find what he wanted he slammed the drawer and looked up to Edith.

"I need an Engagement Report, a Casualties Report and whatever the bloody hell that form's called that we send off to the AAB. Bring me a stack of those."

Edith nodded. "Right away."

After she left Ron looked down at his desk for a few moments and then leaned back in his chair. "Bloody hell!"

"You ok, Ron?"

"What! Who…oh, Hank, didn't realize you were there." He ran a hand through his hair. "No, I'm not. We lost too many people today."

"I'm sorry." I pushed my glasses to the top of my head. "We've got all the Muggle Studies professors now."

"Yeah." He shook his head and continued to stare at the top of his desk. "Went through training with Matterby. Damn it."

"So what happened?" I took off the blanket and scooted the chair closer to Ron's desk. "It looked awful when we went up to the cottage."

"It was. They weren't expecting us, which helped out, but their defenses…Merlin. More of them than our intelligence said, a lot more. That's not good, Hank."

I didn't know what to say, so I just kept quiet. If it was more than the Aurors thought originally, that would explain the carnage that I'd seen. Ron looked over at me, and I could tell that he was still in shock somewhat. After a few moments he finally spoke.

"Don't know if you've heard or not, but we got a lot of their documentation. It's not just here and in the UMS, Hank. It's worldwide. They're putting together a global organization. It's still pretty small now, but…"

The door opened and Edith walked in with parchment in her hands. She went over quickly and sat them down on the table in front of Ron. "Engagement forms are on the top, boss."

"Thanks." He looked at me for a moment and then returned to Edith. "Why don't you and Hank get something to eat, I'm going to be a while. If you see Scarlet tell her to send Harry my way when she gets a chance." He turned to me. "Hank, we need to you to stay here until we've had a chance to debrief you. Professors will probably be at St. Mungo's tonight, but we'll need you to talk to them tomorrow. Don't worry about the training, I doubt Dilkins will be up at 0600 tomorrow."

As I walked out of Ron's office with Edith I took a look at my watch, and even though the face was partly sunny I shook my head. "Holy crap, Edith, it's half four?"

"Yes, Professor, it is. When was the last time you had a bite to eat?"

"Um…shit, before six."

"Let's go. We need to stay here in the Ministry. We'll borrow Robards' office, Kendricks gave me a key. She's on holiday."

* * *

Two things conspired against me, the time I got up that morning and a full stomach. Apparently I fell asleep in a chair, quite soundly, as when I woke up my feet were up on another chair and a conjured pillow rested behind my head. I rubbed my eyes and realized that my glasses were not on my head, and after looking around for them I saw them sitting on Robards' desk. Besides finding my glasses I realized that I was alone and the lights were dim, so apparently Edith must have taken pity on me and set me up to be comfortable. I stood up and realized that I was still sore; the adrenaline from earlier that day had worn off and it felt as if all my muscles, especially in my legs, were ready to revolt. I stretched for a while, trying to remember what coach taught us in football practice, and then turned over my badge. The red dot was pulsing slowly at Robards' office, so I thought of Ron's office and watched the dot do it's little 'follow me' trail. When I got to Ron's office Edith was outside at her desk and she smiled up at me.

"Sleep ok, Professor? You were out like a light. Hope you don't mind but I sent Melody an owl telling her you'd be late."

"Thanks, for that and everything else. Can I go in?"

She tapped the quill against the inkpot. "Let me check."

After she went into Ron's office I absentmindedly looked around her desk for something to read, and failing to find anything I was about to sit down when the door opened. Instead of Edith telling me to come in it was a parade of Aurors and Invisibles leaving Ron's office. As the last one left without paying any attention to me Edith's face popped in the doorway and nodded.

Ron and Harry were in their usual spots, and Draco Malfoy sat in another chair, definitely not what I was expecting. As the oddness of Draco sitting in Ron's office took my mind off my questions I simply sat down in a chair that Harry conjured for me.

"Hank, are you ok?" Ron leaned across his desk. "Did you get hit by a spell and not tell anyone?"

I shook my head. "No, sorry. Just woke up." I took a deep breath. "So does anyone want to tell me what the hell happened?"

Ron looked over to Harry. "You're in charge, your call."

"Right." Harry shook his head. "For now. I'm in charge for now, Ron. Hank, you know that we have the professors at St. Mungo's. They'll be held there overnight for observation and will be released to us tomorrow so we can find out what happened from their point of view. Your privacy agreements still hold, and some of this you can't even tell Melody. Got it?"

_Hoo boy, this was deep shit_. "Yeah, yeah, I got it."

Harry adjusted his glasses and gave me a serious look. "You already saw your information in the cottage. The WLF no longer considers you a target. Well, not much of one, anyway. The documentation that we found, that they didn't destroy, indicates that they're planning something much larger, and on a global scale. From what we discovered it appears that they're still in the early stages, but the WLF isn't content any longer with trying to assassinate people or kidnap professors. Hank it looks like they're trying to build consensus among Muggle haters and start a worldwide movement to eliminate Muggles."

"What the fuck?" I shook my head. "That's crazy. There are a ton more Muggles than wizards, especially more than the ones that don't like Muggles. We've got guns, tanks…fuck, we have nuclear goddamn weapons."

"We?" Ron looked at me strangely.

"Sorry, old habits." I took off my glasses and rubbed the bridge of my nose. "Besides, there's a lot more witches and wizards who don't agree with them and who would fight them. If the WLF tries to take out the Muggles everybody else with an ounce of magical blood will try and stop them, they can't let the WLF expose them."

"Precisely." Draco sat in the chair with his legs crossed and his hands pressed together tightly at the fingertips. "And what does that mean?"

My shoulders slumped. "Oh shit, are you telling me that there's going to be a fucking wizarding war? Goddamnit, that's just crazy. War has turned out beautifully for us Muggles, I mean, just look at, oh, I don't know, every fucking war since history started being recorded."

Harry held up his hands. "Hank, I didn't say that it would start now, I said that the documentation we found indicates that this is the real goal of the WLF."

_This was just getting better and better._ "Then why did the WLF kidnap the professors?"

"It wasn't so much the WLF as Cassandra Palliurum, Hank." Ron scratched his chin for a moment. "I think they did the kidnappings because she planted the seed, said it would show the world that anything related to Muggles was dangerous. We know that she really just wanted everything to go to hell."

I put my elbows on my knees and ran my hands through my hair_. I wasn't a target anymore, Melody and Hieronymus weren't targets, but we were in the sense that we weren't with the WLF. Instead of specific targets we were generalized._ I lifted up my head. "So what happened out at the lake?"

Harry looked over to Ron. "Ron?"

Ron shook his head. "You're the boss."

Harry rolled his eyes. "You know the plan that we had, how we had different groups in different locations, with the goal of hemming them in along the lake? That part worked somewhat until they realized that it could be then end of all of them. They have some sort of communication, because everyone I talked to said that at almost the same time, in different engagement points, they all stopped and rushed towards the roadblock. The lightest point of defense. We managed to capture thirty of them, including the man you shot, but the rest overpowered the blockade team and got out of the Anti-Apparition zone. Five of them were killed, and we lost eight Aurors and three Invisibles. Too many. Too many."

Ron looked over at me and then back to Harry. "Deputy Auror, you know from our training that we did it by the book. We didn't use unapproved magic, it was the Invisibles. They've got too much…they don't care, Harry. They don't follow the rules."

"The Minister understood it was not at your behest, Potter." Draco leaned forward. "He said an internal investigation will be conducted with Scamander immediately."

I needed to change the subject somewhat, as I could tell everything was weighing heavily on Harry's mind. "Draco, what the hell did you do back there in the shed? That was fucked up."

"Ah. Yes." Draco nodded. "I relayed to you previously that I spent quite some time in Louisiana. During my time there I learned about what you have referred to in the past as 'voodoo.' It is a dark magic, and not very well documented or understood, but my family name allowed me to overcome certain…barriers. Cassandra Palliurum engaged practitioners of that dark art to almost imperceptibly kidnap the professors and place them into a state of suspension."

"Fucking zombies." I laughed in disgust. "Well, except they weren't dead."

"Once the Healers have ensured that there will be no lasting effects the professors will be cleared to return to their respective schools." Draco cocked his head at Harry. "Potter, I would like to assist in the return of Mrs. Johnson to Laveau. We can discuss it later at a more opportune time."

Harry nodded. I looked at the three of them and wondered how difficult it must be for all of them to be in the same room, working together, but I figured that the threat that the WLF raised outweighed anything that happened in the past. I sat back in the chair and let my head fall on the back. The ceiling of Ron's office was illuminated by a few lights and I noticed that there was a stain in the corner. Finally I pulled myself together and looked over to Harry. "So now what? I just go about my business? Show up to Auror training classes and put together my lesson plan? Take care of Hieronymus and Melody and pretend like none of this ever happened?"

Harry gave me a sarcastic laugh. "Oh, you don't have to worry about the training classes, Hank. Well, just the classroom portion. After today I think you make Dilkins nervous. Take the rest of this week off and next Monday you can show up after lunch. As for the rest of your questions, yes, that's it. Go back to your family and teach Muggle Studies. Don't worry; we'll keep you informed when you need to know something."

Draco stood up, as did Harry, and I took that to mean that my debriefing was over. I took a look at them and then nodded. "Ok, I got it. I still want to talk to the professors, if that's ok."

Ron nodded. "Sure, Hank."

* * *

When I stepped out of the fireplace at Colony House Lavinia was on the couch, snuggled close into Willy Smythe and they were watching a DVD. As soon as they realized I was home Willy quickly moved apart from Lavinia. I sat down in one of the chairs, took a deep breath and glanced over to the TV. "You're watching High Fidelity? Why'd you pick that one?"

"Nate recommended it." Lavinia smiled, blushing slightly. "Um, he said it would tell us a lot about you."

"Wonderful." I made a mental note to send Lavender's parents embarrassing pictures of my brother, but my reverie was interrupted when Virgil came around the corner and jumped into my lap. I petted him and scratched him under his chin. "You had to have a better day than I did, Virgil."

"I'd, um, I'd better be heading home." Willy stood up quickly. "I have to…"

"Sit down, Willy." I moved Virgil off of my lap and stood up. "Is Melody in the nursery?"

"Downstairs." Lavinia's voice was a touch quivery. "Um, she said to tell you that you're on your own for supper an' that there's leftovers in the fridge."

"Ok." I looked at my watch. "Can't believe it's after nine. Ok, you two, what do you think…is the guy in the movie like me or not?"

They looked at each other and smiled. Willy poked Lavinia in the ribs and she giggled. "Well, Hank, he does have a lot of Muggle music."

"And he smokes a lot." Willy tried to keep from laughing but failed.

"Watch your movie." I left the room and headed downstairs. As soon as I got to the bottom step I heard Melody's voice, but I couldn't make it out. "What's that?"

"Oh, Hank! I thought you were Lavinia." She smiled at me from the rocking chair, Hieronymus bundled in her arms. "With Willy here I thought it would be easier to feed Hieronymus downstairs."

I gave her and Hieronymus a kiss and then sat on the little sofa across from the chair. After kicking off my trainers I laid down on the sofa, my head resting on one arm and my feet draped over the other. "True, that's true. But you also left two teenagers, who are sure that the word is going to end because Lavinia is leaving soon, upstairs without a chaperone."

She laughed at me. "Oh come on, do you really think I'm that naïve? Nonky's up there."

I pushed my glasses to the top of my head. "I didn't see him." She tapped her index finger to the side of her nose and I laughed. "What is he, invisible?'

"Dunno, Hank. I told him to watch them and not let things get out of control, and to not let them see him."

"Out of control…you did tell him exactly what you meant, right? You know you have to spell things out with him. Remember when he knocked himself out with the fridge?"

"Yes, Hank, I did. I told him that they could hold hands and maybe kiss, but if anyone's shirt came off…"

I put my hands over my ears. "La la la la la I can't hear you." I closed my eyes for a moment and then looked back at her. "It's good to be home."

"How was Auror training today? Are you ready to give up teaching?" She smiled at me, but when she saw my face her smile faded. "What happened, Hank?"

I tossed my glasses onto the table next to the sofa. "I'll tell you, but first let me just guarantee you that I'm not going to change jobs anytime soon, and if I did Auror would definitely not be my first choice."


	33. Five Potters, Australia and The Burrow

**Chapter 33: Five Potters, Australia and The Burrow**

The bedroom was faintly illuminated, and I looked over to see if Hieronymus was ready to go back to his bassinet but saw him squirming around somewhat, so I knew it would be a while. I pulled myself up so I was half-sitting in bed and rubbed my eyes.

"Hank, you can go back to sleep. I'll put him down soon." Melody moved Hieronymus up to her shoulder to burp him. "Go back to sleep."

I shook my head. "Can't. Wide awake. Mel, I told you about what happened at the lake, but I didn't tell you everything. Harry said that there were some things I couldn't tell you, but…I need to explain a few things."

After Hieronymus gave a small burp Melody gave me a concerned look. "Are you going to get in trouble with Harry? Hank, don't do anything stupid."

"Since when has that ever stopped me?" I took a deep breath. "Mel, I shot a guy yesterday. In the hip. He's in St. Mungo's, and he was attacking us, but I shot a guy in the hip. There's more. The WLF isn't happy with just trying to off Muggles anymore; they want to start a war. I know I told you last night that we rescued the Muggle Studies professors, and that I have to go in tomorrow…shit, today, to talk to them, but it's more than that. Mel, they had a file on us. All of us, my family, your family. Even your ex-husband."

"What the bloody…Hank? Are we going to be ok?" She held Hieronymus close to her chest. "What…"

"It's ok, Mel. They aren't after us anymore, but I'm worried about the future." I reached over and took Hieronymus from her and held him in my arms, rocking him slightly. "You know how last night you joked with me that I was going to quit teaching and be an Auror? I have to admit, earlier this year I thought about it. It felt good to be included because, well, you know about how…what did you call it?"

"Your magic inferiority complex?"

"Yeah, that's it. Plus, I mean, the Aurors are just…cool. There's a reason kids play with Auror toys, you know? I had an office, still do actually, but I had an assistant. I was out on a mission with Harry. They gave me guns and other stuff. Hard not to get sucked into all that. But now? Since he's really here?" I looked down at my son and gently cradled his head. "It's different. Things are just different now. Do you know what I mean?"

She nodded. "Yes, I do, love. I know a little bit of what you're talking about, as it was nice to have you be a sort-of Auror. I knew you liked it, and it was so hard to…well, never mind. It is different since he's here now, isn't it?"

"Definitely." I moved a newly asleep Hieronymus onto the bed between me and Melody. "It was an ego-trip, having an assistant and an office. Can't deny that I…well, you know. Magical inferiority complex, definitely. I'm going to tell Harry today that I'll be a Muggle consultant to the Aurors, but that's it. No more field work for me. Well, only something really big and not dangerous. How's that sound?"

"Wonderful." She leaned over and kissed me. "Now either put him in his bassinet or lie down. I'm exhausted."

I'd managed to make it into the kitchen for tea by eight and took _The Prophet_ from the little stand, so I knew that Lavinia was already up. After glancing around the house and not seeing her I looked out the kitchen window and saw her in the garden, sitting on one of the chairs underneath the umbrella, sipping tea. After fixing my cup I tucked the paper under my arm and joined her.

"Big plans today?" I opened the paper and glanced around the page at her. "What time is Willy coming over? I need to make sure I'm not in my underwear."

She looked at me and shook her head in irritation. "At least you have on your robe. I don't think Ruby ever fully recovered from when you…"

"All right, enough about that. How many times did I apologize? You never answered my question, what's on tap for today?"

"Willy's coming over for lunch and then we're going to watch movies. Any suggestions?"

I never had the chance to answer as the pop of Apparition surprised both of us, and the man who arrived surprised me even further. "Arthur! What's going on?"

"Morning all, ah, Hank…is Lavinia busy today? Lavinia, it's time."

Lavinia jumped up from the table, knocking her tea over in the process. "Oh this is great! I'll go get my things."

While mopping up Lavinia's spilt tea with my napkin I looked over at Arthur. "What the hell is going on?"

He rocked back and forth, beaming. "Ginny's at St. Mungo's, the baby is coming. Molly's over at Grimmauld right now, but Lavinia is going to watch the boys for a while. Didn't Melody tell you?"

"Uh, no. We've had some other stuff going on."

"You and Melody are welcome to come as well. Lavinia might need a hand with the boys." He chuckled. "They are a handful."

Lavinia came running out of the back door with a bag bulging with stuff. She adjusted the shoulder strap and looked over at Arthur. "I'm ready, Mr. Weasley."

I waved them off. "Go, go, I know Molly's probably dying to leave. I'll tell Mel. Lavinia, we'll be over soon."

After they exited the house and Arthur side-alonged with Lavinia I headed into the bedroom and gently shook Melody's shoulder. She groaned and slapped my hand away, so I figured it was best to let her sleep for a little while longer. I took the opportunity to take a shower and get dressed, pack a bag for Hieronymus and one for Melody and me. I still had parchment to grade, as final grades were due to Titus on Monday. Once all that was done I went back in and didn't stop shaking Melody until she was finally awake.

"Bloody hell, Hank, what is it?"

"Lavinia just went with Arthur to Grimmauld. Ginny's having the baby." I expected her to jump up and be all excited, but instead she rolled over onto her back and rubbed her eyes. "Are you ok?"

She yawned. "I'm fine, Hank. Just tired. Why don't you go on over and I'll pop 'round after Hieronymus wakes up?"

"Gotcha. I packed a bag for Hieronymus, I'll leave that on my side of the bed, and you two take your time. See you later, love."

When I arrived at Grimmauld James immediately ran into the room, and after seeing that it was me and not his parents, he turned around and walked out. After brushing the Floo powder off I went into the kitchen, as that where the noise was coming from, and found Lavinia feeding Albus his breakfast. Apparently it was going well, as the food seemed to be going in rather than on top of his head, so I fixed a cup of tea and joined them. James was picking at his eggs, so I pretended to try and get a bite off of his plate which didn't go well, as he yelled at me and caused Albus to yell as well. After Lavinia calmed them down she looked over at me and I could tell that she was very happy.

"I've got some activities planned for them, some educational flash cards. You can help if you'd like."

James looked over at me and leaned away, covering his plate with his arm. "I think I'll let you take care of them. Melody will be over with Hieronymus later. I've got papers to grade. Looks like you've got everything under control."

I sat up shop in the living room, and after about an hour of grading papers Melody arrived with Hieronymus. Luckily by then the boys were busy with Lavinia in the play room, so they didn't hear Mel arrive and do the whole 'oh you aren't mum and dad' thing again. We talked for a while, and I told her about Lavinia's plan with the flash cards, and that's when she told me that she'd been buying educational things for a while now for Lavinia, as she figured that we'd use them for Hieronymus eventually, but that Lavinia had really set her heart on opening an early education center for magical kids.

"Just think, Hank, if she does open it right after she leaves Hogwarts then Hieronymus would be able to go."

"Hmmm…true, but I think he might be better served to go to the Muggle school. Besides, they know in the village that you've had him, and if we didn't send him to the Muggle school it might look bad. Don't worry; we've got plenty of time to decide."

She cocked her head at me. "Speaking of time, when are you going into the Ministry?"

"Oh yeah, um, after lunch. Wonder who's in charge of the Aurors since Harry's at St. Mungo's?"

* * *

When I arrived at the Ministry I followed the little dot on my badge over to Ron's office because I knew that no matter what was going on Edith would probably have a good idea of the situation. I was right. She informed me that my office would be ready later that day, hopefully before I left, and that since Harry went to St. Mungo's early that morning that Ron was in charge of the Auror department.

Without another word I opened Ron's door and let myself in. He was at his desk, feet up on the corner, eating a scone and reading something when I walked in. "Ron, here's the deal. No more field work for me, I'll do the Muggle Consultant thing, but I want a raise. Big raise. Oh, and an assistant again. I like brunettes, not the skinny ones, either. Big tits are a plus. And a car, yeah, an official Auror department car, something nice but not too flashy. Works for me, now how about you? Go on and say yes, you're in charge, now."

He looked at me oddly for a moment and then shook his head. "Good try. Not going to work. I won't tell Melody about your preferences, if you're lucky."

"Oh well." I sat down in one of the chairs. "So you're in charge for the day, huh? Nice."

He shrugged and moved his feet off from the desk, taking the opportunity to shove a good portion of the scone into his mouth. After chewing for a while he shook his head. "Nowhp, ifffs ahawfllll."

I translated from Eating Ron into English, realized he said 'No, it's awful.' and nodded. "Probably is awful. Haven't heard anything from St. Mungo's, have you?"

He shook his head and swallowed. "No, not yet. Bugger Robards, why'd he have to go an' get suspended? My sister's having a baby and I can't be there."

"You'll get to go soon enough, same as me. Mel and Lavinia are over at Grimmauld watching the boys. So, the professors…are they here?"

"Yeah." He reached over and pulled a piece of parchment off of the table. "Healers said they'll be back to normal in a day or so but they'll be weak for a while. Want to start?"

"Beats grading exams. I'll start with Susan Johnson."

I found Susan in the comfortable little room that I'd talked to Bellina Davis, drinking a cup of coffee and reading with a rather large empty tin of shortbread on the table.

"Professor Boyd, so good to see you!" She glanced over to the tin and pulled an embarrassed face. "I'd offer you some shortbread, but I seem to have…well, it's so different from what we get over in the States."

I sat in one of the comfortable chairs and waved her off. "Just had lunch, don't worry about it. You're right, it is a lot better than what's over in America. Sorry, the UMS. How are you?"

"Much better, thank you. I have to say, you surprised me quite a bit. I daresay you're the first action-type Muggle Studies professor; usually we just stick to lectures and occasional forays into the Muggle world."

"Yeah, about that." I took off my glasses. "Um, probably won't happen again. I've got a son now, so…"

"My goodness, I was away a long time." She sat back in her chair. "Still hard to believe."

"Have they contacted your husband? I know you'll want to get back as soon as possible, especially to that little house of yours. I'm sorry; they had me poke around your office. Had a hell of an adventure in New Orleans, that's for sure."

"Really? You wouldn't be the first person to have a bit of fun in New Orleans."

I spent the next half hour or so telling Susan about my experiences in New Orleans, about Rue Avenue, Bonsang House and everything else. She shook her head when I told her about the Potter Adventure Series, as she'd had to reprimand a few students for trying to read them in her class. Regarding the Malfois she didn't have very nice things to say, but when I told her about Draco, how he was different, she still gave me a suspicious look.

"He asked to be allowed to escort you back to New Orleans. Don't know why, exactly, but he has spent a lot of time there over the last year. Maybe he's just hungry for some more fried alligator and boudin balls."

When I walked into Ron's office a few hours later he was in a foul mood. Apparently there hadn't been anything from St. Mungo's except an owl from his mum saying that things were progressing but there wasn't any specific time that they thought the baby would arrive. After I'd sat down across from him Ron looked over to me with a weary expression.

"You'd better have some good news for me"

I shook my head. "Not really. Whoever kidnapped those three didn't mess up like the others. They have no recollection of anything except what they were doing right before everything went black. I think your French translator has a crush on the professor from Quebec, and that's really all I know."

"Bollocks." Ron leaned back in his chair and put his hands behind his head. "Got something to make your wife happy. Well, it might make her happy; you'll probably muck it up. Dilkins sent in a recommendation to Kingsley, and he approved it. You don't have to take the Auror classes, you just have to read the Handbook and take a test over the procedures. Think you scared the shite out of Dilkins."

"Me? Scare an Auror? Right." I leaned back in the chair and put my feet on Ron's desk. He gave me an odd look so I moved them off immediately. "What, you do it to Robards' desk? Fine. My guess isn't that I scare him, it's just that it would be hard really training the Aurors if he has to change everything around so I can do stuff. Not like I can do anything with my wand, really. Besides, he's probably worried that with all of the physical training he probably would kill me."

"Might get you to stop smoking." Ron tapped his chest. "Bad for you, you know."

Edith popped her head in the door. "Letters for both of you." She handed me one and then gave one to Ron. "Boss, I talked to Hortimer, he said he can come in early but you'd owe him."

"How much?" Ron looked over to me. "Hortimer's got the night shift, usually in charge when the rest of us are off." He turned back to Edith. "How much?"

"Um, your tickets for the next Cannons match."

Ron looked at his calendar for a moment and then smiled. "Sure, tell him no problem, Edith."

I opened up my letter from Mel and smiled. "Hey Ron, Weasleys only have girls, right?"

He shook his head. "No, Hank. I mean, we've got Rosie…Merlin!" He opened his letter and smiled. "She's got Weasley red hair."

Edith left to go tell Hortimer to come in and I looked over at Ron. "Ok, Weasley, that was too easy. You're the biggest Quidditch fan I know, why'd you give up your tickets so easy?"

Ron was standing up, tidying his desk when he looked over to me. "It's a friendly against Bulgaria. Usually give those away, always a crap match. Come on, let's go. I've got a new niece to meet."

When Ron and I entered the waiting room at St. Mungo's it was a repeat of the previous new Potter arrivals as the place was filled with people. Lavinia saw me and ran over excitedly.

"It's a girl, Hank. Her name's Lily Luna Potter and she's so tiny and cute."

"That's great, Lavinia. Where's Mel?"

"She's over there with Hermione."

I looked over to Ron and he shook his head. "Sure, my wife in the MLE department can come over, but I have to wait. Harry owes me for this one." He looked down to Lavinia. "You busy later tonight?"

She looked over at me and I held up my hands. "Your call, Lavinia." I left Lavinia to discuss the arrangements for watching Rose for Ron and Hermione and headed over to Melody. She sat next to Hermione, and I laughed when I saw how Hermione had Hieronymus balanced on her large stomach. "So, a girl, huh? Give me the details."

Melody and Hermione exchanged a look, and before I could ask if something was wrong Hermione started in. "Ginny and the baby are fine, Hank, but it wasn't easy. I don't think Ginny will want to have anymore."

Melody took a hold of my hand. "Sounds like Hieronymus was a walk in the park compared to what Ginny went through."

I nodded and then gave Hermione a smirk. "Looks like you and Ron will have to do the big Weasley family, then. Just think, after this one gets here…" I patted her rather large stomach. "…you only have five more to go."

Luckily I was spared Hermione's response as Harry walked into the room with a pink bundle. Everyone crowded around him, and I waited with Melody and Hermione. Eventually Harry came over and sat down next to us. From there on it was a sort of madhouse, as somehow the press got into the room, flashbulbs snapped. Ron and Arthur, as well as George, booted the reporters and photographers out of the room. George stopped in front of the door, and then after snapping his fingers he bolted through the doors without saying a word. I couldn't figure out what he was doing but soon George returned, three cameras draped from his arms.

The real pictures started then, and Mel asked George to send her a copy of the one that he took of us. I'd held Hieronymus and Mel had Lily in her arms while Hermione sat next to us with her hands on top of her large belly. George said we should call the picture 'Future Hogwarts Detention Class' but I had a feeling that even if Ron and Hermione's baby did inherit some of the Weasley tendencies towards pranks that Hermione would fix that in no time.

When Hieronymus started acting up Melody decided it was time for us to head home, so we said our goodbyes to everyone, Ginny included, and left for Colony House. We hadn't been home for more than fifteen minutes when I heard a knock on the door, which surprised me, as nobody actually knocked on our door unless they were a Muggle. After opening the door I chuckled, as Willy Smythe stood there alongside his cousin Ruby.

"Is Lavinia home, Professor?" Ruby looked over at Willy with an irritated look. "I told him to just owl, but…"

I smoothed my goatee with a hand to hide my smile. "Sorry, she's not here right now. She's watching Ron and Hermione Weasley's daughter this evening. You can send her an owl over there if you'd like."

"Told you." Ruby glared at her cousin. "You made me Floo over to your house and take you side-along, and you didn't find out if she was here or not?"

I saw Willy cringe and had to stifle a chuckle. "You two want to come in? I think there's some snacks…"

Ruby shook her head. "No, but thank you, Professor."

"Anytime. Oh, Ruby, did you have training today?"

"Cancelled. We're making it up tomorrow, though. Can't believe we're training on Saturday." She smiled at me. "Going to be a tough one from what I've heard. Looking forward to it?"

"Well, I don't think I'll be in class anymore. Old fogey exemption."

"Sorry to interrupt, Professor. We'll be going now, won't we, Willy?"

I saw her glare at Willy again so I winked at him. "No problem. See y'all later.".

* * *

Harry stayed with Ginny and his newly-expanded family as long as he could, but eventually he had to head back into the Ministry. Mel and I stopped over to see Ginny on a couple of occasions, with Lavinia, of course. I didn't know who was sadder about the fact that Lavinia was set to go over to Australia in a few days, Willy or Ginny, as Ginny welcomed Lavinia's help with the boys. The week had gone well for me, as I went to the Ministry in the afternoons and sat in the lecture class; it was obvious from Dilkins' classes that he was not an academic, as he meandered all over the place. One day after class he came up to me and asked me to stay for a few minutes, and it was then that he asked me what I thought of the class. I gave him my honest opinion, that the material was good and he presented it well, but it wasn't very cohesively structured. Instead of being irritated at me I was surprised when he asked if I would put together a recommendation on how to structure things. Shooting a guy in the hip had paid off, apparently.

When I arrived back at home after Auror class on the day before Lavinia was to leave I wasn't surprised to see Kristine Tinney in our living room holding Hieronymus. I sat my stuff down next to the fireplace, greeted her and sat next to Melody on the sofa.

"So, Tinney, congratulations. When are you and Charlie getting married?"

She wobbled her head back and forth, rolling her eyes. "Oh, that man. He's shot down at least three dates that I've given him but at least I've got him to agree to next summer. It'll take that long to do all the arrangements since we're getting married at Murujuga Veil." She looked over to me. "It's a hidden magical site, really ancient, and the petroglyphs are amazing. Not cheap to rent the site for the wedding, though."

I laughed. "Yeah, lots of Weasleys. Plus I think it'll be very well attended. Hate to think how much money has been bet on Charlie never getting married. You're going to make someone very rich when you say your vows."

She winced slightly. "Been meaning to ask you about that. Since you two are here, and the house is vacant right now…do you think it would be possible to rent it out? Not permanently, I still want that for Vinny when she leaves Hogwarts."

"I'm sure we can help, Tinney." Melody nodded sympathetically and then looked over at me. "Right, Hank?"

_Rent out the house…I knew of one couple who would probably be in a good position to do that, well, hopefully. Didn't know what their financial situation was, but I'd be able to find out soon. I'd have to find a way to make it look like I didn't set it up, because it would look bad if I…_

"Hank!" She hit me on the arm. "Hello…earth to Hank?"

"Sorry, I was just thinking that I might know someone who would be able to rent out the house." I pushed my glasses to the top of my head. "So when's your portkey, Tinney?"

"One in the morning, Sunday." She laughed as Hieronymus began squirming in her arms. "He's a wiggly one, isn't he?"

"Yeah, he's definitely wiggly." I put my arm around Mel. "One in the morning? What time does that put you in Australia?"

"About nine in the morning, give or take. Gives Charlie a chance to see his new niece and Vinny some time with her boyfriend." She stood up and handed Hieronymus back to Melody. "Speaking of Charlie and his niece, I need to go see them. Vinny's over there, right?"

I nodded. "Yeah, she's great with the boys. All of the little kids, actually."

"Just like her mum." Tinney fingered her engagement ring. "Sis was always that way, favorite babysitter for all the little kids. Apple didn't fall far from the tree. Right. I'll see you two, pardon me, you three later."

After Tinney left Melody turned to me immediately. "So who are you thinking of? For renting the house?"

"Peter and Franny." I put my glasses back on and smiled. "But they can't think we set it up, they have to find it on their own."

* * *

The time leading up to the Australian portkey was very busy; Lavinia and Willy went on a double-date to the WeasleyVision cinema with Tinney and Charlie, and Saturday afternoon was the big dinner at The Burrow. Molly was very happy as the under-four year old contingent was definitely growing, as the number of Weasley offspring, counting Potters and even Hieronymus, made things interesting. When Angelina arranged all of the grandchildren around Molly and Arthur for a picture we had to take it out in the garden, as there was no way we could fit all of the kids in one spot in the house and have enough room to take the picture. With nine kids under the age of four, not to mention the older ones, it was quite a scene. George insisted that Hermione had to be in the picture as well, as the newest Weasley wouldn't arrive until next month, and Hermione didn't take that well as she was definitely in her 'grumpy and exceedingly pregnant' phase.

Eventually I sat out in the garden with Arthur and Charlie, away from most of the craziness. After making sure that most of the women were inside the house I reached into my pocket and handed Charlie a cigar. "Least I can do. After all, it's from the box you sent over when Hieronymus was born."

He chuckled, took the cigar and after preparing it he lit the end with his wand. I leaned over and lit my cigar off of the flame and sat back contentedly. Arthur shook his head at us and warned us that we'd get in trouble, but Charlie waved him off.

As I sat there with them in the garden it was very peaceful; the older kids were playing, running around like crazy with water balloons that George had provided, and I looked over to Arthur. "Won't be long before I have Teddy and Victoire in class."

Charlie laughed. "Yeah, but just wait. In eleven years you'll have Hieronymus, Lily, Molly and Ron's latest all together. Imagine that.

Lavinia ran after James, who sped past laughing as fast as his little legs would carry him holding something in the air above his head. I looked over to Arthur. "Is that what I think it is?"

"Oh dear." Arthur chuckled. "Don't let Molly see that."

"How in Merlin's name did he get a bra?" Charlie looked over to Arthur and then his eyes went wide. "Is that one of mum's?"

Lavinia caught James, took the bra away from him and was in the process of walking back to the house when she met up with Harry. As the two of them talked we saw Harry's face grow red. After nodding quickly at Lavinia he came over to us and conjured a garden chair.

"That boy is going to turn my hair grey." He looked over at Arthur and me. "Or give me your hair. How would I look bald?"

I shrugged. "You save on shampoo."

* * *

Sunday morning was odd, as when I woke up it was obvious that the house was different; no tea or breakfast greeted me when I walked into the kitchen and the owl with the paper was rather impatiently flapping its wings outside the window. After I let him in and took the paper it felt weird not to have Lavinia there. Nonky arrived in the kitchen almost immediately after I sent the owl on its way, but it wasn't the fact that I didn't have tea available immediately, it was that I missed having Lavinia there. I looked over at the calendar and realized that at least the former Muggle Studies NEWT dinner was next Saturday; that gave me something to look forward to.

That was soon the last thing on my mind as the post arrived, and after taking the letters from the owls I started the kettle and opened up the envelopes. The first one I opened was an official letter from the Wizangamot, requesting my presence at Cassandra Palliurum's trial on the twenty-first of August, six weeks away from the current date. After setting that aside I flipped through the other letters, put the ones for Melody to the side and opened the last letter. Draco Malfoy wanted to meet for lunch on Monday. My Auror test would be that morning, so I thought a late lunch would be best. I was in the process of writing a reply back to Draco when Melody walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table.

"Anything good in the post?"

I handed her the letters that were addressed to her. "Well, they have a date for Cassandra's trial and I've been called to testify. Besides that Draco wants to have lunch on Monday. No clue why. What's on the schedule for today?"

She rolled her eyes. "Feedings, nappies, naps…the usual." She sorted through the envelopes and handed one back to me. "This one's yours."

I waited for Nonky to put the plates in front of us, as well as tea, before opening the letter.

_Professor Boyd,_

_Sales of your books have been wonderful, but I have received interest from several shops regarding your next book! Please stop by at your earliest convenience so we can discuss your next best-seller!_

_Ian Coswock_

"Shit. Ian wants another book." I looked over to Melody and she rolled her eyes. "What?"

"How much trouble have your books caused lately, Hank? Are you sure you want to write another one?"

_Fuck. She was right, my books had caused a bit of a stir, and that was an understatement._ "I don't know, Mel. I mean, I have been thinking about something. Remember what Nate said when he and Lavender showed up before the anniversary ceremony at Hogwarts? How Lavender's parents could use a book to tell them about a Muggle son-in-law?"

She eyed me for a moment. "Sounds close to my column in _Witch Weekly_."

"You could write it with me. Different perspectives." I watched her for signs of disapproval, but instead she seemed receptive. "What do you think?"

"Let me run it past Margaret. Maybe we could include some of my columns and you could write your side of things."

Before I could answer Hieronymus started crying. Nonky was out of the kitchen in a flash. I stood up from the table. "I'll get him. My turn."


	34. Do You Want a Free Meal?

**Chapter 34: Do You Want a Free Meal?**

After I walked into the Muggle restaurant and gave my name to the hostess she led me up the stairs to a quiet little booth; there waiting for me, sipping a soft drink, was Draco Malfoy. Instead of the usual black clothing he wore a pair of jeans, trainers and a conservative button-down collar shirt. I slid in the booth and looked at him strangely.

"Ok, this was a surprise. Didn't figure we'd be eating here, of all places."

He sat the soda down on the table. "I've found a greater appreciation for the anonymity that establishments such as this provide. How did this morning's examination go for you?"

The waitress stopped by and I decided to throw caution to the wind and ordered a pint of beer. "I think it went ok. Been a long time since I've taken a test rather than given one. Crap, I can't even remember the last time I was a student. Too long." I shook my head. "So, Draco, what's up? Haven't heard from you since you helped take Susan Johnson back to New Orleans. Everything ok at Laveau?"

"Yes, Mrs. Johnson was safely returned to Laveau. Superintendent Cormier sends her congratulations to you and Melody on Hieronymus' birth. As for me, something is definitely 'up' as you say. Hank, Astoria and I have decided to move to New Orleans for a few years. There are some…opportunities that I wish to pursue."

"Opportunities? I don't see you buying a shrimp boat. What's the plan?"

Before he could answer the waitress brought over my pint and asked for our order. Since I hadn't even looked at the menu I just asked if she had fish and chips, and as soon as it was out of my mouth you would have thought I asked her if the restaurant served roadkill. Draco ordered a steak, so I did the same. After she left Draco looked around and then must have decided the coast was clear as he laid everything out.

"Our research into Cassandra Palliurum, as well as the Malfoi family, has presented some opportunities in the UMS in regards to land. I am currently in a position to not only purchase land that was absorbed by the Malfois but to help redistribute that land to…interested parties, and at a rate that would be most favorable. There are also some other ventures that are currently in the embryonic stage, so I do not want to prematurely divulge the specifics. I will tell you that I am now a silent investor in the Bon Charme. As you know the building and the grounds need improvements, so I have created a venture capital company to invest in worthwhile projects, the first approved project being the Bon Charme."

"Holy shit, Draco. Aunt Charlotte would spin in her grave if she knew that you were investing in her old place. They do know that you're involved, right?"

He nodded. "Yes, it was only after several meetings a series of letters that the arrangement was agreed upon."

"Wow." I took a drink of my pint. "So why move? You could manage all that from here, right?"

"Correct." He tapped his fingers lightly on the table. "When we returned from our visit to New Orleans I continued to think about our visit to the local restaurants. It was so enjoyable, not only the food by the anonymity. You are well aware of how I am perceived in Britain. Astoria and I have discussed it at length, and we both feel that it would be best for Scorpius if he was able to grow up away from here, for a time. We plan on returning before he enters my former educational facility, but it would provide him a greater understanding of the world. I also want to thank you, Hank."

"Thank me? Um, ok. You're welcome. What did I do?"

The waitress brought over our salads before he could answer. After she was safely away from the table he placed his napkin on his lap and looked over to me. "I have had very little exposure to…people with your background. The activities of the last year have proven to me that the inability of…"

After an irritated look he took out his wand and cast a spell. A small, almost transparent bubble appeared to surround us and then disappear.

"What was that?" I took off my glasses. "You aren't going to get in trouble for that, are you?"

He shook his head. "A small spell to allow me to speak freely; the inability to use words such as 'Muggle' and 'Hogwarts' add an unnecessary level of complexity. To anyone outside the spell we will simply seem to talk about the weather or other innocuous topics. As I was saying, I have not known Muggles personally, especially as well as I know you, up until our more recent endeavors. Astoria and I agree that Scorpius needs to understand that Muggles are not people to be feared or ignored; that Muggles are just as worthy of friendship and respect as magical individuals. If he was raised in such an environment we believe that the prejudices of previous generations regarding Muggles will not follow him to Hogwarts. The other prejudices, unfortunately, are well-founded and will be harder to reconcile."

"So he'd grow up with Muggles? Not a very Malfoy way of thinking, Draco. I like it." I saw the waitress approaching out of the corner of my eye and knew she'd be at the table momentarily. "Um, lunch is here."

Draco's arm disappeared underneath the table for a second and then reappeared before the waitress arrived with our steaks. Since I was looking for it I saw the spell dissipate, but it was imperceptible to anyone else. After thanking our waitress he looked over at me. "Do not let others dissuade you regarding the importance of your books. I believe their impact is greater than either of us can imagine. The full effects may not impact adults, but future generations, hopefully, will be much more understanding."

* * *

On Wednesday morning I arrived at the Ministry at 0700 per the letter I'd received from Auror Dilkins; the results of the policy and procedure test would be announced and I had to attend. I hoped I'd done well enough that I wouldn't have to take the test again, as Dilkins told us right before the exam that anyone who scored below ninety percent would have to repeat the test until they passed it, potentially putting the candidates behind in their training. I didn't really feel like being a student anymore so it was with a wee bit of trepidation that I filed into the classroom and took an empty seat towards the front.

A few moments later Ruby sat down next to me and it was safe to say that she looked more nervous than she ever had in my classroom. "Ready for the results, Ruby?"

"Professor Farnsworth said Auror training was tough, but I never thought it would be like this. I'm so tired when I get home that I usually go right to sleep. After studying, that is. I haven't even seen Carrick in days."

"What's he up to? You haven't said."

Before she could answer Dilkins walked in carrying a stack of parchment. He half-slammed the parchment down on the desk and shook his head. "Disappointing. Very disappointing. I wonder how any of you passed your NEWTS after reading this pile of crap. I'm going to hand back your papers in order, from best score to worst score. Specific instructions on your next training section will be on the bottom of your examination. Come forward when I read your names, take your exams and then leave the classroom. I have some special instructions for those who did not pass."

Ruby leaned over and in a very quiet voice said "Your class was much easier."

"No shit." I looked over to Dilkins but he was busy arranging parchment. Luckily he hadn't heard us.

Dilkins' voice brought everyone to attention. "SMYTHE-WARRING!"

Ruby smiled at me as she stood up quickly, went over and took the examination from Dilkins' hand and left the room. _Holy shit, one of my former students had kicked my ass on the exam!_ I started to get nervous then, but after two names were called I heard my own name. I stood up and took the parchment from him, glancing quickly to the top of the page. In red in I saw ninety-eight point seven percent and had to stifle a laugh. As I walked out of the room I scanned to the bottom of the page and saw only two words: 'See Potter.'

I didn't waste any time. I flipped over my badge and the red dot did its thing, leading me to Harry's office. A few moments later I stood outside Harry's office and visited with Scarlet, his assistant. Apparently Harry wasn't in yet, but she was expecting him at any time, so I could either wait in his office or have a seat next to her. Knowing the usual state of Harry's office I decided to sit with Scarlet, and spent the next twenty minutes or so showing her pictures of Hieronymus.

When Harry arrived he looked a mess; bags under his eyes, hair even messier than usual, tie undone. I could hear the fatigue in his voice when he stopped at Scarlet's desk.

"Morning Scarlet, Hank. What's the schedule for today? Sorry, long night."

Scarlet laughed quietly. "Open until nine. You have a meeting then in the conference room, briefing in Robards' office at ten, a working lunch meeting with the MLE and then you're open from two until four. Dilkins will be by after half four to go over the candidate results, and then you have the weekly press conference at five." She handed him a parchment with all of his appointments and Harry shook his head.

"Can't wait until Robards gets back. Come on in, Hank. Scarlet, I hate to ask, but…"

She nodded. "It's been quarantined, the smell's gone now and I cleared off a chair. I'll be right up with tea."

"You're a lifesaver, Scarlet. I'll get the tea tomorrow." Harry opened the door and stepped inside.

The moment I stepped inside Harry's office I instantly felt better about my office at Colony House because the place was an absolute mess. If my office at home looked like Harry's Melody would probably either hex me or kick me out, because there were piles of parchment everywhere, some empty teacups, half-empty teacups and food wrappers all over the place. At one point I thought I saw a pile of parchment move along the floor but I decided just to ignore it.

Harry sat down and I sat in the only other clean surface. He took a deep breath and looked at me questioningly. "What can I do for you, Hank?"

"Dunno, Harry. I was told to come here." I handed him my examination. "It's on the bottom."

He laughed and turned the parchment around towards me. "Nice score. You missed one point three percent of the questions, and you're one point three percent wizard."

"Yeah, I know, ironic, isn't it? You know what's worse? One of my former students beat me. Actually, I think three of them did. Sort of embarrassing. So, I followed instructions, I'm here. What now?"

"Right, right. Ok, it's here somewhere." Harry looked though the piles of parchment on his desk, gave up and eventually walked to his office door. He stuck his head out and said something to Scarlet and then went back and sat down. "Scarlet's going to find it, but there's a form for you to sign. Basically it says that while you will retain most of the rights and privileges of being an Auror that you are exempt from field work. Also gets rid of the suspension that Kingsley gave you, so when you work with us you'll get full pay. Modified employment contract. Oh, and we kept the title Muggle Consultant. That work?"

"Fine with me."

Scarlet walked in a few moments later and handed me the parchment. Unfortunately there wasn't anyplace to sit it down to sign, so Harry gave up his desk and went out to collect the tea. I sat there and read the entire document, as I'd learned how important that was, and after a few moments Harry sat a cup of tea down for me. The contract didn't take long to read, thankfully, and I pulled an ink pen out of my pocket and signed my name. Harry stood over the desk and spun the parchment around, borrowed my pen and signed his name at the bottom as well.

"Want to trade chairs, Harry?"

He shook his head. "I'm fine. Now that's done we need to talk about Cassandra Palliurum's trial. We're not going to do any official preparation for your testimony, but it would be a good idea to go over any notes you have or write some things down to keep everything straight in your mind."

Before I could answer there was a knock at the door and Scarlet poked her head in. "Minister's here for you, Harry."

I stood up to change places but Kingsley walked in and smiled. "Professor, I understand your office is rather small but I don't believe this is an improvement."

He waved at me to sit down so I complied immediately. "Um, I can leave if…"

Kingsley shook his head. "Won't take but a moment. Potter, Robards has decided to retire. He recommended that you be promoted to Head Auror and I don't disagree. Congratulations, Harry."

Harry shook Kingsley's hand, but after he let it go he had a dazed look on his face. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am, Harry. According to Robards, you and Weasley have some ideas about how to modernize the Aurors. I look forward to your proposals. We'll make the announcement at the weekly press conference." Kingsley clapped Harry on the shoulder. "Congratulations. Potter, Boyd."

After he left the room I looked over to Harry. "I signed the contract, so I'm sort-of an Auror now. What's my first task, Boss?"

"Hide me. Ginny just had Lily, the boys are demanding, and when I tell her I'm the Head Auror? With the hours that go along with the job? Might need to hide at your house for a while."

* * *

"Hank, I think something's burning."

Melody's voice came from the nursery so I left my office and went into the kitchen. Luckily supper wasn't burning yet, but she was right, as it was imminent. I turned down the heat on the oven and looked at the clock; only twenty minutes until they were scheduled to arrive. I wasn't sure how the inaugural former Muggle Studies NEWT student dinner would go, especially after Ruby had kicked my ass in the Auror exam.

I went into my office, turned up the music slightly and went into the nursery. "It wasn't burning but it was close, thanks. When's your mom stopping over?"

She looked at her watch. "About an hour. She said she's just going to take him downstairs and put a silencing charm on the door, so don't worry, she won't hear us."

Before I could answer I heard the Floo. "Looks like we're up. Come on, you know they'll want to see him."

Ruby and Carrick were brushing Floo powder off of each other when I went into the living room. "Not surprised you two are early, but I am surprised you're awake, Ruby. How's training?"

"Brilliant, but tiring. We're studying field procedures."

I laughed. "Glad I'm done, then. What about you, Carrick? Can I get you two something to drink?"

Carrick looked over to Ruby with a questioning glance and she rolled her eyes. "Go ahead, I can't but you can, Carrick."

I laughed. "We've got wine, beer, butterbeer…"

Carrick looked at her for a moment before smiling broadly. "I'll have a Muggle beer, Professor."

We walked into the kitchen and I shook my head at him. "Not your professor anymore, Carrick. You can call me Hank."

He shrugged. "I guess. Kind of weird not to call you professor."

As I handed Carrick a pale ale and gave Ruby a Muggle soft drink the Floo announced the next arrivals. Peter and Franny walked into the kitchen shortly thereafter holding hands. "Just in time, I have the fridge open. What can I get you to drink?" Before they could answer the Floo sounded again, but I didn't have a chance to greet my next guests as Melody walked though and said she would do it. As my former students chatted for a moment I went to check the oven and heard Liv Wapping talking to Melody, but when I turned around I was definitely surprised.

"Hello, Professor. Been a while, hasn't it?"

Angus Wandsworth, one of my former students and a former Hufflepuff Head Boy held hands with Liv. I glanced over and saw that Ruby was as surprised as I was. "Good to see you, Angus. Liv, I take it you're good at keeping things quiet?"

"Definitely." She smiled at me and chucked Angus on the arm. "Took you long enough."

He rolled his eyes. "I told you last year, it'd only be a distraction for you, you had to concentrate on your NEWTS. I was right, wasn't I?"

Franny asked Melody something, and before long everyone sat in the living room with their drinks as Melody held Hieronymus. There were a lot of 'oh he's so sweet' comments from the girls, but for the most part the guys nodded along. I'd already taken out the twice-baked potatoes and had delayed putting the steaks on the grill for as long as possible, but when I heard Carrick's stomach rumble I knew we'd waited long enough for Poesy.

"Guys, you want to come out and help me grill? Think we've waited for Posey long enough."

I was in the process of taking the steaks out of the fridge, and the guys were helping themselves to another beer when we heard the Floo. The unmistakable voice of Poesy cut through everything.

"Sorry I'm late. I miss the food?"

I turned around to see Posey standing next to a very tall guy who I guessed to be a few years older than her. I leaned over to Peter. "Know him?"

"Never seen him before." Peter walked forward and put out his hand. "Peter Sawgrass, nice to meet you. And you are…"

"This is Basil." Poesy answered for him as her date shook Peter's hand. "Basil…um, what's your name again?"

The dark-headed boy smirked slightly. "You never asked. It's Jones, Basil Jones. Nice to meet you, Peter."

"You never asked?" Carrick shook his head at Poesy. "What'd you do, Poesy, just grab him off of the street?"

"That's exactly what she did." Basil dusted off the Floo powder. "You must be Professor Muggle. Thank you for having me here tonight."

"That's me, and don't thank me, thank Poesy. You can call me Hank." I laughed at Poesy. "You literally just grabbed him off of the street?"

She rolled her eyes. "I didn't grab him; I asked him if he wanted a free dinner."

I took pity on Basil and handed him a beer. "Come on, let the women talk. We've got grilling to do. How do you like your steak?"

As I stood at the grill the guys sat in garden chairs and BS'd about what it was like after Hogwarts, but for the most part they asked Basil about himself. It turned out that Basil was originally from London, but his dad worked in the Department of International Magical Relations and had been posted in the UMS. Instead of attending Hogwarts Basil went to New Hope in Maine and after finishing school he moved back to London and took a job with the Ministry in the Improper Use of Magic department. Apparently he'd just finished work and had decided to do some shopping at Flourish & Blotts when Poesy walked up to him and asked if he wanted a free meal.

That led to a series of Poesy stories, some of which I told myself, specifically her infamous fireworks incident which ruined a field trip to a Muggle museum during my first year at Hogwarts. I wanted to ask the other guys what they were doing, but before I could Franny came bounding out the back door and sat in Peter's lap, surprising everyone by giving him a rather large kiss.

Carrick nudged her in the back. "Come on, Franny, I want to have some appetite left when the steaks are done."

She turned and smacked him on his hand. "Oh shut up, Carrick. Peter, we have a place to live!"

_Uh-oh. I had a feeling I knew exactly what that meant. Melody must have spilled the beans about the rental thing._ I reached up and turned off the light that was attached to the grill. "Come on, y'all. Supper's ready."

When we entered the house Lane sat in one of the big chairs talking to Ruby. Ruby was holding Hieronymus and the other females were all gathered around Melody looking at a magazine that I recognized, as I'd seen enough copies of _Witchy Weddings_ when Melody and I were engaged. I sat the platter of steaks on the kitchen counter and looked towards Lane. "Are you eating with us? We've got plenty?"

My mother-in-law shook her head. "Thank you, Henry, but I had a bite before I left the house. I tend to eat earlier than this."

Poesy scrunched up her nose. "Sorry."

Eventually everybody filed into the formal dining room, the first time we'd ever used the room, and I had to dismiss Nonky as he wanted to wait on everybody. He tried to appeal to Melody but she gave him the night off, and I don't know if I've ever seen anyone as upset about getting a night off work in my life. I took pity on him and told him that since he had the night off he was more than welcome to join us, so once a chair and his booster seat had been added to the table the meal began.

I felt like I was at a tennis match as my head kept going back and forth, as the comments flew faster than I could keep up with. In the course of dinner I discovered that Peter had joined the Department of International Magical Cooperation, Carrick had started with the Department of Magical Games and Sports, and Liv was the newest writer for _The Daily Prophet_. I already knew that Poesy worked with George and that Ruby was training to be an Auror, but it was Franny that shocked me the most. The time spent working on Peter's case regarding his land, and the questions that Franny prepared for him had led my distant relative, the one that looked like Santa Claus, to offer her an entry position in his law firm. Of course the main topic of conversation was the upcoming wedding of Franny and Peter, and a lot of planning happened at the table. The best part of the dinner was when Poesy asked Basil if he'd like to come to the wedding with her and he agreed as he thought the evening would be 'interesting.'

Dessert was good but a little uncomfortable as Melody asked them what I was like as a professor. They all looked at me, and I was glad I was a couple beers in as I just nodded my head. "Go on, grades are already in. Can't do anything to you. Much."

"Our first year he yelled a lot. And there was a lot of swearing." Carrick smiled at Melody. "But we really deserved it."

"Especially me." Poesy's grin went from ear to ear. "I have to admit, I was pretty horrible. I do have one question, though; how did you know I did magic in class?"

I took a sip of beer. "I probably shouldn't tell you, but if you promise…" A chorus of promises went up from the table, assuring me that they wouldn't reveal my secret. "Ok, I'll tell you. You can blame your boss, Poesy. George gave me an enchanted notebook."

Liv snapped her fingers. "That little one? The one you used to put in your coat pocket?"

"Yep, that's it." I took a small drink of beer. "Whenever someone does magic in my classroom it writes down who did it, the date, and what spell was used. Too bad I didn't have that when I started. Y'all would have had a lot more detentions."

"Oh!" Franny perked up and looked over to Melody. "We also found out that we can't mess with his first cup of tea, he tends to lose himself in daydreams on occasion, it's easy to get him distracted if we talk about music, especially The Clash, and if we could get Lavinia to agree to something he'd go along with it. Like the dance."

I shook my head. "Horrible. Y'all are horrible. I need the names of all your bosses." Peter sat there as if he wanted to say something but didn't want to. He knew how much I'd helped him out, and I think he didn't want to repay me by telling a story on me, but I couldn't resist. "Come on Peter, I can tell you want to say something."

"Well…" He looked over at Melody and then back to me, grinning. "Depending on how things were going, if we stopped by your room and could smell a little bit of smoke we knew we could pretty much talk you into anything."

"Henry!" Melody pinched my arm.

"Ow!" I looked over at Peter. "I should have just shut up, right?"

Melody wouldn't let it go, though. "You smoke at Hogwarts? Is it the pipe?"

I looked at all of my former students and they were all nodding their heads, including Angus. "You too, Wandsworth? Damn."

Ruby and Carrick were the first to leave, as even though it was Saturday night she wanted to get her rest. Right before they left I slipped and let it out that Harry was the new Head Auror, which brought out a squeal from Ruby. She liked the idea of Harry being her boss, even if he was several levels above her. After they left Poesy and Basil called it a night, which led to a rousing discussion regarding Poesy and her boys. Apparently my catching her with a boy in my car at the first Muggle Club party was not an anomaly, as she had been caught several times in various Ravenclaw broom closets in somewhat compromising conditions.

As the remaining couples sat in the living room the Floo came to life and I heard my name being called. I figured it was Harry or maybe even Draco, but when I went to the fireplace I was very surprised.

"Gideon! Didn't expect to hear from you. How's the new album coming?"

"Hullo Perfesser. How's the new book coming?"

"About the same as your album. What can I do for you?'

I saw the green-flamed version of bagpipe player scratch his head. "It's not too late, is it? I got summing for ye."

"Not at all, had a dinner party tonight and there's still a few folks left. Want a beer?"

"I'll be there in a flash."

After the flames died down I went into the living room. "Looks like we'll have a bit more company. Y'all don't mind, do you? He's a new friend of mine."

Melody gave me an odd look and when I winked at her she scowled and tapped her watch. Before she could say something the unmistakable sound of the Floo was heard, so I went into the living room and met Gideon.

"Come on, let's get you a beer." We walked into the kitchen and I pulled out a pale ale for him. After opening it he downed about half of it in one go. "You'd better not Apparate tonight, you could splinch yourself."

He clapped me on the back. "Boy, it takes a lot more than that. Is yer boy up?"

I shook my head. "Nah, he's downstairs with my mother-in-law. Silencing spell. Suppose we should go into the living room, I didn't tell Melody it was you that was coming over. She's probably working up a good row in her head right now."

"Ah, I'll fix that for ye."

When we walked into the room Melody's frown immediately disappeared and my former students all sat there in different states of disbelief. After I introduced Gideon to them he sat down on the sofa next to Melody.

"I hope I haven't ruined yer evening."

"Oh no, not at all." She was a little giddy, which I took as a good sign. "What brings you over tonight? You're welcome anytime, you know."

"Ah, yes." He dug into his pocket and pulled out a WUMP. "My oldest put some things on her for ya. I told her to go through my collection and find the most obscure, odd and interesting wizarding music. Still not done with yer albums; hope that's ok?"

I took the WUMP. "No problem, Gideon. Thanks. Can't wait to play it."

He picked up the copy of _Witchy Weddings_ from the coffee table. "Ok, Hank, I know you and the Mrs. are already married and all, so what's with this?"

Franny's eyes were wide. "Um, um, um, that's mine." She took a hold of Peter's hand. "We're getting married here next week."

"Congratulations." Gideon looked over to me. "Here? They're getting married here?"

I nodded. "Out in the garden. Just a small wedding, friends and family."

He flipped through the magazine for a few moments. "Brings back memories. The third one just about wore this magazine out. Gettin' married's the fun part, after that?" He sat the magazine back down and took a drink of beer. "There's a reason I been married so much."

"I'm sure you and Peter will only need the one time." Melody smiled sympathetically over at Franny. "It will be lovely, dear."

"Oh Merlin, I didn't mean that." Gideon pulled a face. "So who's playing at yer wedding?"

"Professor Muggle, um, sorry, Hank, is going to do the music for us." Peter nodded at me. "Couldn't afford a band."

Gideon put his head back on the top of the sofa. "Next Saturday, next Saturday…what's the date?"

"It's the twenty-sixth." Franny looked over to me wildly and I shrugged. "Got any suggestions, Gideon?"

He brought his head off of the back of the sofa with a smile. "You've got ter have a band an' wee could use some practice. Wouldn't be everybody, Herman Wintringham's off over in India fer some fool reason, but there's a lot we could do without the lute. Do you two mind if we play? Don't tell anybody or it'll be barmy."

Peter glanced over at Franny and then smiled at Gideon. "We'd be honored, sir."

Gideon rolled his eyes and waved Peter off. "Cut the sir shite, that's me old man." He glanced over at Melody for a moment and then grinned at me. "Ya got any of those cigars left, Hank?'

It was fairly late when everyone left, and after Lane brought up Hieronymus and left for Forthingsgate I sat in the nursery, rocking Hieronymus while Melody got everything ready for a nappy change.

"I can't believe it, Hank. The Weird Sisters are going to play in my garden."

"Told you I'm not the average Muggle. I may only be 1.3% wizard, but I do have a few tricks up my sleeve. I do have one question for you, though. How did Franny find out about the house?"

She took Hieronymus from my arms and began changing him, which caused him to make happy noises. "Yes, I know you like to air out your bits, typical man." She looked over to me once she'd done the important parts of changing him. "It was pathetic, Hank. Franny was talking about how after they got married they might have to live with her parents, and you know they still don't think the best of Peter. It broke my heart, so I just told her. Sorry."

"Shit, Mel. I know you did the right thing, but I'm going to have everybody in my class now hoping they can get a place to live or married in our garden. Guess I did it to myself, huh?"

She closed the snaps on Hieronymus' little sleeper. "Yes, you did, and it's obvious that all your students really like you. They told me other stories, besides the ones of you smoking. You're a good teacher, Hank. They know you really care about them. It's what makes you a good father."

"You really think I'm a good father?"

She handed me Hieronymus. "Yes, I do think you're a good father. Such a good father that you'll do the second feeding and all the rest tonight."

As she tried to walk out of the room I leaned over and pinched her on the butt. "I knew that the damn pipe would get me in trouble."


	35. Snapped and Convicted

**Chapter 35: Snapped and Convicted**

"Are they running late, Professor?"

After I checked my watch I looked over to Willy Smythe and shook my head. "It's an international portkey, and from what everybody tells me they usually run a few minutes ahead or behind the arrival time that they tell you. Look, it says right here on the schedule that for the sixteenth of August that the Australian portkey arrives at ten. She'll be here soon." I sat in the large waiting room in the Ministry, next to the sign that declared that we were in the right spot for international portkey arrivals. Lavinia's last letter said when she would be back in Britain, as well as not so subtly telling Melody and me that she'd written to Willy and thought it would be a good idea if we brought him along to pick her up.

I put the headphones back in the WUMP that Gideon Bump had lent me last month and turned down the volume; whoever the Screeching Cats were they definitely lived up to their name. The song was almost over when I felt Willy tap me on the arm, and after I looked to where he gestured I could see Lavinia. The short time in Australia seemed to have treated her well, as she was very tan. I felt a twinge of nostalgia as she sported a pixie haircut, the same style she'd worn her first year at Hogwarts. After putting away the WUMP I stood up with Willy and watched as she went though the line with the rest of the new arrivals, and once she'd answered all the customs witch's questions she came bounding over to us.

After she gave me a hug she looked over at Willy, then back up to me quickly. _Subtle, Lavinia._ "Um, I'll go get your bags." I walked slowly to where her duffel bag and suitcase sat by a chair and used the same tactful lack of speed collecting them. Thankfully when I turned back around to join the two teenagers they were simply holding hands. "Ok, come on, you two, we need to get to Colony House. If people are coming over it's your deal, so you get to set it up."

Lavinia looked at me out of the corner of her eye and gave me a comically exaggerated look of irritation.

"Fine, I'll help. But if I'm helping Willy is, too."

Thankfully after we made it to the house there was little in the way of setup for the party, as Lavinia had decided to keep it wonderfully low key. It would only be Ruby and Carrick joining her and Willy, as most of her other friends were on holiday or something else that prevented their attendance. Since extensive preparation was not needed Lavinia decided that she needed to be brought up to speed on all of the things she'd missed.

Melody joined me on the sofa as Lavinia rocked Hieronymus. Willy sat in the chair next to Lavinia, and I could tell that even though he was happy that Lavinia was happy rocking Hieronymus he really wished that the two of them could be alone. Once again I felt old and very protective. I was wondering if I would be that protective with Hieronymus when Melody's voice brought me out of my thoughts.

"Early yesterday morning, Lavinia. He's definitely a Weasley. Tons of red hair, Ron was over the moon, of course. His name's Hugo, but I can't remember his middle name. Hank?"

"Umm…" I rubbed my head for a moment, trying to remember. "Gerald, I think. After Hermione's dad."

Lavinia looked down at Hieronymus. "At least I was here when you arrived. I missed Lily and Hugo." Suddenly she snapped her head up. "Oh! Ruby said you have pictures from the wedding!"

I pointed over to the photo album on the table. "Willy, could you get that?"

Melody pulled my hand down. "You don't have to, Willy, you're not in class."

He got up and headed over to the table, telling Melody that he wasn't in class but he would be in two weeks. As there was no way possible that Lavinia could rock Hieronymus and look at the photo album at the same time Melody and I switched places with Lavinia, and soon she sat on the sofa with the baby while Willy turned the pages for her. It had been a small wedding, no more than about fifty people, and it had gone very smoothly. Mel had to dab her eyes a bit when Peter and Franny said their vows, as it was obvious that they'd written the words. There were no bridal attendants or groomsmen, and they both wore simple robes although Franny's was a very pale green color. Instead of the full complement of Weird Sisters Gideon arrived with only three of his bandmates, so the reception was not a full concert but more of an informal session.

After that Melody changed places with Willy, as we were onto the pictures from small Melody's birthday party and our low key anniversary. Since we were still up a lot with Hieronymus we didn't really do much for either occasion, but we did accept Lane's offer of watching Hieronymus on those occasions. Since the birthday and anniversary were so close together Lane decided to stay with us for that week. It was odd, but when my mother-in-law left I missed having her there. If someone would have told me that a few years ago I would have accused them of drinking a gallon of firewhiskey.

I fixed everyone lunch, explained that Nonky had already reported in to Hogwarts, and retired to my office for the afternoon. Mel told me that Willy and Lavinia would be fine on their own, so I ignored my suspicions and decided to do

some additional prep for Cassandra Palliurum's trial. A quick glance at the calendar told me that it was in five days, so it was time to do what I'd been putting off for the last three weeks.

* * *

I looked at my watch for the third time in the last hour, as it seemed that time was moving as slow as molasses. At least I was in my office at the Ministry, smoking my pipe while I waited, unlike one of the WHAM members I'd seen when I reported into the witch coordinating all the witnesses. Apparently Cassandra's trial was taking quite some time, so when Harry popped out of the room and told me that it might be a while I decided to go up to my office. Since Ron was busy with the trial Edith kept me company, and it was somewhat like old times but without the stacks of Muggle newspapers.

"More tea?" Edith looked at me sympathetically. "Sorry."

I shook her off. "It's fine, and if I drink any more tea my back teeth will be floating by the time I actually have to go down there. What could be taking so long?"

"Mmmm…well, she is representing herself. Told the Ministry appointed lawyer he could get stuffed."

"Oh Merlin, no wonder. Every movie I've ever seen when somebody represents themselves things always go to hell. I really hope they move things along; I have to work on my prep for September. Can't believe Hogwarts term starts in eleven days."

"Hopefully this year will be quieter for you, Professor. No trips, crazy Muggles, all of that nonsense."

I nodded. "Not to mention surprise puppies? Nonsense, that's a good word for it. Little too scary to think of it in other terms." I took a few puffs of my pipe and decided to change the subject. "Ok, Edith, fill me in. What's Harry's new office look like?"

She laughed. "Well, it was tidy for a few days, but according to Scarlet it's slowly turning into a larger version of his old office. He's usually in Ron's office most of the time, only goes in his new office when he has to."

"Makes sense."

Edith went to say something but a knock on my door stopped her instantly. Percy Weasley stood outside with a very matter-of-fact look upon his face.

"They are almost ready for you, Hank. If you'd follow me, please." Percy adjusted his glasses. "You should probably put on your robe."

"Thanks." I stood up and took my robe off of the hook on the back of the door and adjusted my bowtie. "How do I look?"

Edith gave me a weak smile. "You'll be just fine, Professor."

I followed Percy to the elevators and let him pick the floor. As we travelled in all sorts of directions and speeds I felt my foot tapping nervously along the floor, and when Percy looked over at me I stopped. "Sorry."

"You'll be fine, Hank." Percy nodded quickly. "Just answer the questions."

I didn't answer and simply followed him out of the lift into the big room full of all the Wizangamot members. Cassandra Palliurum sat in the middle of the room at a small table. At another table several feet away from her sat a very distinguished and elderly man with white hair and a massive handlebar mustache. His robes were a deep green color and he had numerous piles of parchment in front of him. I sat where Percy directed me to, a small seat next to a witch who looked about Molly Weasley's age who I'd never seen before, and after I'd settled into my seat she glanced over at me momentarily and turned back to Cassandra and the wizard with the handlebar mustache.

I'd been in front of the Wizangamot before, for the test to see if I had any magical skills, but the atmosphere was completely different. You could have heard a pin drop, and the faces of those assembled were obviously intent on the proceedings. I scanned the crowd to see familiar faces, but I'd only found Kingsley when I heard my name being called from the center of the room. Mr. Handlebar Mustache was standing up and had conjured a chair for me to sit in at the center of the room behind the desks.

I stood up and walked forward to the chair, and after sitting down I looked up to see the entire Wizangamot staring at me in row upon row of somber faces. My nervous gulp echoed throughout the room but nobody seemed to notice. Finally Cassandra Palliurum stood up and walked towards me.

"Professor, can you state your name and profession for the record?"

The smile on her face confused me momentarily, as here she was on trial for her life and she was acting like she was having one of the best days ever. "Um, Henry Aaron MacDonald Boyd. I'm the Muggle Studies professor at Hogwarts."

She nodded, and then put her hand on her hip. "I think you've omitted something, Professor. You are also an author, are you not?"

"Yes. I've written several books, including a textbook for Muggle Studies."

She walked back over to her desk, her simple black robe billowing out behind her. When she returned she held a book in her hands, one I recognized immediately. "This is your first book, is it not?'

I nodded. "That's _My Wand is Useless._ It was the first book I ever published."

"For those in the Wizangamot who are not familiar with your book, can you provide a quick synopsis?"

I looked up to the crowd for a moment, hoping to see some sign of recognition, but their faces were impassive. "The book is about my discovery of not only the Wizarding world but my abilities, how I discovered my own magical heritage and found my place not only in Hogwarts but in the magical communities." She smiled again, and I wanted to roll my eyes but I thought better of it.

"You also covered your incidents regarding the WLF and other Muggle-adverse elements. Is this correct?"

"Yeah, it is." I quickly scratched an itch that had suddenly developed on my ear. "I had those passages read and approved by the Auror department prior to publication."

"Oh, I'm sure they were very good editors." She flipped through my book for a moment. "Professor, in your book you suggest that Muggle and wizarding interactions are doomed to failure, did you not?"

"What? Are you crazy?" It was out of my mouth before I could think about it. "I didn't say anything like that at all. I married a witch, why would you think that?"

"Oh, I am not crazy; I'm probably the only sane person in this room." She closed the book quickly causing a loud sound that made half the room move abruptly in their seats. "Your book, as well as your personal involvement in Auror matters has shown that even a successful marriage between a witch and a mostly Muggle, as I believe you call yourself, are the exception rather than the rule. The secrecy statutes are crumbling, a majority of witches and wizards see no choice but to either integrate or eliminate Muggles and your book about genealogy has shown that almost every wizarding family has Muggles in their ancestors or descendants. Your works have done nothing less than point the way to the complete destruction of all the wizarding and Muggle institutions and customs. Your books were my inspiration, showing me that I no longer had to straddle both worlds, that you were illuminating a new reality. I really couldn't have done it without your books, Professor."

_What the fucking hell?_ "That's not what I wrote about and you know it."

"Silence." Kingsley's voice shocked everyone and stilled the room. "Miss Palliurum, once again I remind you that if you cannot constrain yourself you will leave the Wizangamot no option but to render an immediate recess and to appoint counsel."

Cassandra demurely nodded and gave Kingsley a wan smile. "I apologize. No more questions." She sat down and clasped her hands on top of the little table.

I was still staring at her, angry as hell, when I heard Mr. Handlebar Mustache's chair scoot back. It seemed like it took ages for him to walk over towards me. When he finally made it over to my chair he nodded towards me. "Professor Boyd, I'd like to return to your books again. What was your intention in writing your books?"

I felt the anger start to dissipate slowly. "Initially the impetus for my first book was to explain to my mother, who was unaware of everything that had happened my first year at Hogwarts, what really happened. It came after my brother's wedding when we were attacked by the WLF, and she and the rest of my family had signed all the official documents not to let out any secrets. I thought that it would be interesting to others in the magical community as well, since I'm mostly a Muggle, but I believe I've integrated into things pretty well. I wanted to show that not all Muggles are to be feared, that once you understand a different perspective then things become easier."

The elderly man nodded. "And your other books?"

"I wrote the textbook because the Muggle Studies book used at Hogwarts was about forty or fifty years out of date. The Muggle world changes rapidly, and for Hogwarts students, as well as students at other magical institutions, to be ready to understand things they needed to know how things really work. The more they know the better prepared they will be to keep the secrecy statutes. As for the genealogy book that came out of doing my own research on my family. I thought that if I had questions about my wizarding ancestors that others would have questions about possible Muggles in their family."

The man stroked his large handlebar mustache, making the ends go straight. Almost as soon as they straightened out, though, they curled back up into a perfect loop. "Are you currently working on anything else, Professor?"

I nodded. "Sort of. It's in the beginning stages right now, but I'm putting together a book for Muggleborn students. It's going to be a kind of guidebook to help them acclimatize to Hogwarts, how to deal with talking to their families."

He shook his head slowly in a positive manner. "All of your works, if I can summarize, deal with how to successfully integrate those with Muggle ancestry into the Wizarding world. At no time in your books do you ever advocate violence or overthrow of the existing…"

"No. Not one damn bit." I saw him cock an eyebrow at me. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have interrupted. But if there's any overall theme to all of my books it is tolerance. We're all different and that doesn't matter if we're witches, wizards, Muggles, you name it. But we can all get along, and even if we don't agree on everything that doesn't mean someone is wrong, it means that someone has a different point of view. Blowing everything up and starting from the rubble makes no fucking sense. Oh, sorry. I apologize for my language. It's just that the fact that Cassandra Palliurum has used my writing as an excuse to kidnap Muggle Studies professors, kill people and everything else makes me disgusted."

Mr. Handlebar Mustache walked to a spot where only I could see his face, and believe it or not the old guy winked. "We accept your apology regarding your choice of language, as it is obvious that the allegations concerning your books disturb you." He moved to where he could be seen by the Wizangamot members. "One last thing, Professor, and I hope you won't mind. As you stated before, you are married to a witch, correct?"

I nodded. "Yes."

"And recently you and your wife had a son. For the record can you tell us his name, and why it was chosen?"

I wanted to laugh, because I knew exactly what he was doing. Kind of hard to paint me as a magical anarchist author after telling them the reasons for Hieronymus' name. "My son's name is Hieronymus Robert. He's named after my wife's father, who died during the time when Voldemort was back." I saw some faces in the crowd flinch slightly, and I focused on a tall, thin woman who had the worst reaction. "My wife's father was tortured and killed by Death Eaters who thought he knew were Muggles or Muggle Supporters were located. He didn't know the information, but they killed him anyway. His middle name is after my oldest magical ancestor, Robert Boyd. They spelled it B-O-I-D-H, as it's the old Scots spelling. I knew about my magical MacDonald ancestors, but I wanted to honor the Boyd side as well as honoring my father-in-law who died before I ever had the chance to meet him.

He nodded. "Thank you, Professor." He turned to Kingsley. "I have no more questions at this time, but would ask that Professor Boyd remain for additional questions in later testimony to be presented."

Kingsley nodded and I returned to my seat. I glanced at Cassandra briefly on my way back, figuring that she would be irritated or upset, but she still looked glowingly triumphant.

For the next hour I heard the most obnoxious, blatantly false shit come out of Cassandra's mouth, but the whole time she was talking she looked confident and completely sure of herself. One by one Mr. Handlebar Mustache picked apart her statements, as according to Cassandra she was the martyr for the new way the world was going to work, and the Wizangamot was the old, hidebound and out-of-touch system that needed to be destroyed.

When it came time for the details of the Auror missions against the WLF, the rescue of the Muggle Studies professors and Cassandra's capture I was asked to testify again, and this time she wasn't as gleeful in her questions. Apparently she didn't know my full involvement, that I was an Auror consultant. When it came out in front of the Wizangamot that I had shot two people the look on her face suddenly darkened. It seemed that the fact that I was willing to put my life on the line with a pregnant wife and later a new son in defense of the wizarding way of life didn't sit well with her portrayal of me as an author hell bent on destroying the current culture.

I watched her face the rest of the way through the testimony, and she had lost her unfounded confidence. Finally it came to the closing arguments and Mr. Handlebar Mustache went first, detailing all of her crimes, the proof against her, the devastation she'd left in her wake. But then he went further, saying that the actions of her parents denying her understanding of her magical abilities must have warped her mind, that she was lost inside her own little twisted version of the world and instead of Azkaban he suggested St. Mungo's.

That was the exact moment Cassandra Palliurum snapped.

The confident, maniacally sure of her cause Cassandra disappeared, and a raving woman appeared. She railed against the thought that she should be confined to St. Mungo's, taking it as an insult to her intelligence. She began asking if a crazy woman could have planned out everything so meticulously, used magic that most people didn't know and hid from the best Aurors for as long as she did? From that point on her words fell fast and venomously as she took full responsibility for all of the events of the last year. She picked up my books and threw them towards me, almost screaming that not only were my books poorly written but it was obvious that if I had any spine I would have joined her in her quest to burn it all down, as we were the same. We'd been denied our proper rights, and even if I wasn't man enough to take up destroying everything she sure as hell was going to, and then she began laughing in a disturbing manner and sat down on the floor. She looked up at Kingsley and said that it was all started, that he couldn't un-ring a bell, and it was only a matter of time before Haddingspot and the WLF destroyed everything.

At that point it was only a formality to render her guilty, but I wasn't sure what her sentence would be. After her crazed performance I even thought that St. Mungo's might be a logical destination, but Kingsley didn't do that. Instead, after her confessions, he sent her to Azkaban for the rest of her life. After his proclamation I saw Ron and Harry come out and bind her hands with a spell. They took her arms and half-dragged her out of the room as her feet no longer seemed to work.

* * *

"Hank, we're going to be late."

Melody's voice came from the nursery, and I could hear Hieronymus wailing full tilt as well. I looked at my watch, and while we had at least an hour before we could officially be considered late I knew better than to argue. I put down _The Daily Prophet_ and went into the nursery. "We've got time, love. Want me to take him?"

"Yes." She handed me my son, and it was obvious why he was unhappy, as he smelled awful. "New nappy, please."

"Ok, come little man; let's get you some new pants." I carried him over to the changing table and began the process. "It won't matter if we're late, Mel, it's just the Potter's barbeque."

"I know, but I still need to run by the shops. My salad didn't turn our like your mum's recipe." She shook her finger at me. "Not a word from you."

I finished up with the new nappy and Hieronymus was in much better spirits. "Don't blame you, bud, that was an awful one." I picked him up and gave him his pacifier or dummy as Melody had decided to call it. "There now, you're all good." I looked over to my wife. "Why don't you stop by the shops and I'll just Floo over there and meet you, is that ok?"

I could see her debating on whether or not it was a good idea, as so far she hadn't let me use the Floo with Hieronymus by myself. "I suppose…are you sure…"

"It'll be fine, Mel. I promise we'll go to Ginny and Harry's, no place else. I'll even say Grimmauld in very distinct…I won't mess it up."

She bit the edge of her lip. "Why don't you let Lavinia take him?"

"So you're fine with Lavinia taking him, but not me? Cold. Won't work anyway, she's already over there, remember?"

"Oh Merlin, that's right. Fine. But if something happens to him you'll be in big trouble." She kissed Hieronymus on the forehead and started to walk out of the room but stopped at the doorway. "Hank, you will remember everything, won't you? You know he needs his…"

"We'll be fine, Mel. Damn, come on, give me some credit here." I moved Hieronymus to my other shoulder. "It'll be man-time, we'll be fine."

"Man-time. Right. And what happened the last time you two had man-time?" She tried to avoid smiling but couldn't, as her lips slowly curled into a smirk. "It did give me a cute photo, but…"

"He didn't eat the controller, he just drooled on it. It wasn't turned on so there was no chance of shock. It'll be fine, Mel."

I glanced over to the picture she'd mentioned, and in a frame on one of the shelves in Hieronymus' room you could watch me play a video game while I rocked Hieronymus in a bouncy chair thingy with my foot. He had a controller on his stomach and his chubby little hands gripped it so he could gnaw on one of the analog sticks. After the picture Mel had given me a hard time about the controller not being hygienic. She wasn't wrong on that one, as George was the last person to use that controller, and Merlin only knows what he'd been doing at his shop before coming over to the house.

"If you two aren't at Ginny's by two I'm sending out the Aurors." She walked back over and this time gave me a quick kiss. "Or worse."

"What's worse than the Aurors? You're going to send out Dementors?"

"No." She shook her head. "My mum. You know how she is about her only grandchild. If you've…"

"Oh shit, scary." I patted Hieronymus on the back and began picking up his things to go to the Potters. "We'll be fine, trust me."

After arriving by Floo and turning over Hieronymus to a relieved Melody I sat out in the garden at Grimmauld with Harry, Ron and George. Finally, after worrying about how I'd be able to get out of my current situation, the one person I really needed to talk to finally came over to see me. In a very quiet, secretive tone I said what I'd been holding in for about an hour. "Lavinia, I need you to put some more nappies in Hieronymus' bag. I forgot to bring extras. Don't tell Mel."

"Fine, Hank. But I get an extra hour with Willy tonight."

"That's blackmail."

"Your choice."

"Fine."

After she left Ron gave me an odd look. "Do I want to know?"

I shook my head. "No. Better for all of us that way."

We sat around for a while drinking butterbeer and watching the coals slowly become white, as even when George wizarded the grill it could only go so fast in preparation for the sausages and everything else. Ron was busy talking about the Cannons' chances when Neville walked over and sat down.

"So Hank, you ready for another year at Hogwarts?"

I nodded. "Definitely. Hopefully this time it will be a nice, normal year. You know, none of the crazy shit that happened last year. Can't do that anymore. Even though I'm a sort-of Auror, I would really like a nice, boring year. Just teaching Muggle Studies will be fine with me."

Harry gave me a strained smile. "Might need your advice on something that's come up. No field work, just your opinion."

"Do you promise no field work? I'm still trying to make things up to Melody. She's convinced that at any moment you'll show up on our doorstep and want to take me to some godforsaken place like, um…"

"Madame Malkin's?" George smirked at me. "Oh wait, you've already ruined that."

"I think you'll be busy enough this year, Hank." Neville scratched his knee. "Class sizes are double for the first years this term."

I watched James run through the garden, holding one of Ginny's bras in his hands and laughing for all he was worth. Ginny came out moments later and chased him through the garden, finally catching him over by a tree. After we all laughed I looked over at my friends. "Remind me to retire when he starts Hogwarts."

"You got a sales bump after the trial, but not that much, right?" George leaned back in his chair and crossed his legs. "Maybe you need to come up with another Muggle thing for me to ruin, I mean, adapt."

"Fine, guys." I pushed my glasses to the top of my head and looked out at them. "I'll give you something, George, and Harry? If I can't help you by owl I've got one day not scheduled before the first day back at Hogwarts. That's it. I've got things planned with Mel and Hieronymus."

The conversation drifted away from me and I took a sip of butterbeer and scanned the garden. Lavinia and Melody sat with Hieronymus on a little blanket. Hermione and her kids were on the adjoining blanket, and Molly and Arthur sat in chairs next to them. My mother-in-law Lane brought out lemonade to Angelina and Hannah, and Petal Farnsworth sat uncomfortably between Seamus Finnegan and a Hawaiian shirt-clad Gawain Robards. There were no WLF attacks, no crisis to be handled immediately, no secrets that I had to keep from Melody, and most importantly, nothing else I had to do that day.

As I looked at the evenly mown grass beneath my feet, I found myself thinking that I could really, really get used to just being a dad and a professor.


	36. Purple Magic

**Chapter 36: Purple Magic**

_2015_

As the sun shone briefly through the clouds I put on my turn signal and waited for the cars to pass before I could turn into the little driveway that led to Ron and Hermione's place. After almost being rear-ended by a lorry that dwarfed my little Morris I finally was able to turn into the long, tree-lined driveway. Set almost a mile back from the road it did take a little while to get there, and I was running late, but that really wasn't a surprise or a problem. Ron and Hermione didn't mind HR staying over all the time at their house, and HR loved it, but most of all Rosie was grateful as the boys would do their own thing and leave her alone. The last time I picked up HR from spending a weekend over in Satterbourne he didn't want to leave and wanted to know why he had to have sisters instead of a brother like Hugo.

After stopping the car behind the little shed I noticed that Ron and Hermione's car had a large dent on the left side near the headlight and was missing its wing mirror, something that didn't give me a very comfortable feeling as Hermione had owled me the previous week about giving Ron driving lessons. Apparently he was quite determined to learn how to drive like a Muggle but her lessons had ended in one of the usual Ron and Hermione bickering festivals. I was thinking about reasons to say we couldn't use my Morris for lessons when I knocked on the door.

"Oh, Hank. Come on in."

Hermione ushered me inside, but I could tell from her voice that something was amiss. I walked into the kitchen as usual and put my hand to my ear. "Are you sure HR's here? Usually I can hear him and Hugo the minute I walk inside."

"Yes, well…how about a cup of tea, Hank?" Hermione gave me a weak smile and headed over to the stove and put on the kettle.

I sat down at the kitchen table and took off my glasses. "What did they do this time? How bad is it, and how much money do I owe you for a replacement?"

After moving her bushy hair to the side Hermione sat down and clasped her hands together. "Hank, I think you need to have a chat with HR on the way home. He's very upset. Right now he's in the library with Rosie, reading."

"With Rosie? Really?" That never happened, as Rosie considered HR and Hugo pests of the first magnitude, slightly smarter than gnomes and just about as fun to deal with. "What happened?"

"Hugo had his first bit of accidental magic today."

"Oh."

"I tried to tell HR that it comes at different ages, that even though I remember it happening for me at an early age it took Ron a lot longer, but it didn't seem to help. Hank, he asked me if he'd ever be able to do magic or if he was…" She looked down at the table and began fussing with her rings.

"Or if he's like me." I sat back and sighed as the kettle sang its little song. I watched Hermione wave over the tea items with her wand and we avoided the topic by focusing on tea. Once again I marveled at the utility of tea, specifically this time as an excuse to take a break in a sensitive conversation.

"Hank, they're only seven. Sometimes it happens much later." Hermione took a sip of tea. "I sent Melody an owl but she told me you were driving over, I apologize for just springing this on you when you walked in."

"It's fine, really, it's fine. I knew this would happen one day. You remember before he was born…"

"Hi Professor!" Hugo walked in, beaming. "Guess what? I did magic today!"

Hugo never failed to crack me up, as he had the smarts of Hermione but usually applied them like Ron. He thought my first name was Professor and didn't believe my name was really Hank until HR showed him my driving license. "That's great, Hugo." I glanced at Hermione from the corner of my eye and saw her give me a sympathetic look. "What happened?"

"Me an' HR were playing Aurors an' I was Dad and HR was Uncle Harry an' we were fighting Voldymort when Rosie came in an' told us we were being loud gits and it made me mad and before I could even think about it I made her book all wet, just like it fell into the pond at The Burrow!"

"Wow, I bet she didn't like that, did she?" I reached out and tousled Hugo's shaggy red hair. "Can you tell HR that I'm here?"

"Sure." Without another word Hugo took off through the house.

Hermione opened her mouth to say something but I held up my hand. "It's ok. I'm not the first father who disappointed his son by not being an Auror, let alone not being Ron or Harry. Thanks for taking care of him. We'll talk in the car."

Once HR's things were safely stowed in the Morris, and he'd thanked the Weasleys for having him over, a very subdued Hieronymus slid into the passenger seat. I waved at Hermione and told her I'd send her an owl later, making sure to emphasize my owl would be about Ron's driving lessons. After buckling up and starting the car we headed back to Stintborough, just part of the Muggle cars making their way on a regular early Sunday afternoon. I glanced over at HR a couple of times but he didn't say anything, instead he just sat there with his reddish-blonde hair illuminated by the sun, his glasses slightly skewed and his forehead pressed against the door window.

We'd gone about three or four miles when he suddenly looked over at me. "Am I going to be a Muggle like you?"

_No, Hieronymus, you're going to be a regular wizard, you'll go to Hogwarts, get your wand at Ollivander's and do all of the things your friends will, you're not going to be any different._ That's what I wanted to say, but I couldn't lie to him. "I don't think so but nobody knows, HR. Hermione told you that people get their magic at different ages, right? It just might not be your time." As we drove a little further and he remained quiet I knew I couldn't leave it like that. "Are you worried about it?"

He nodded slowly. "Mum went to Hogwarts but you didn't an' she said that I have to go to Muggle school this year, not Aunt Lavinia's school. If I have to go to school with Muggles will I lose my magic?"

"Your Aunt Hermione went to school with Muggles before she came to Hogwarts, and she can do magic. It won't make magic go away if you go to school with Muggle kids. Listen to me, Hieronymus. You have just as much chance to have magic as anybody else, even more than your Aunt Hermione. Nobody in her family can do magic except for her, and your mom and your grandmum Lane can do magic. Your grandfather, who you were named after, could do it too. They all went to Hogwarts."

I made the turn off the road to head north and we passed through a small village, going slower. Since we weren't going as fast I rolled down the window and put my elbow out of the window. HR kept his window rolled up, even though it was somewhat warm. Finally, after what seemed an eternity of silence he rolled down his window and stuck his head outside for a few moments.

"Don't lose your glasses again or your mom will kill us both."

"That was Gin's fault, Dad." He sat there for a while longer and then turned to me. "How come you can do some magic if you're a Muggle?"

"I'm not all Muggle. It's a long story that I'm going to save for when you're older, but a long, long way back in our family tree a lot of my family were witches and wizards. By the time it got to your Grandma and Grandpa Boyd, and their grandparents before them, it had kind of, um, it went away. I got just a little, tiny bit of magic from way up in our family tree. I didn't know about it until I started teaching at Hogwarts and bought my wand at Ollivander's."

"If you can do magic you're not a Muggle why do they call you Professor Muggle, Dad?"

"Nickname. I teach Muggle Studies, that's part of it. I thought I was a Muggle, some of the kids called me Professor Muggle as well as your Uncle George and the name just stuck. Kind of like how James calls you Ronnymouse." I had to step on the brakes suddenly. "Crap, another lorry delivery? It's freaking Sunday."

"Can we go to Ollivander's today? Maybe I could get a wand and find out, too."

As we sat still in traffic I looked over at him and felt my heart ache. I wanted so badly to drive as close to Diagon Alley as possible and take him to Ollivander's, but I knew it would do nothing but discourage him even further at that point. "You'll go when everybody else goes, after you get your letter. Besides, if the traffic doesn't move soon we'll be late. Hannah and Neville are coming over for dinner tonight. And we still have to pack for the New Orleans trip; you've been looking forward to that, right? Mr. Malfoy will do the magic stuff you like. Think about that instead."

A disgusted look came over his face and he pushed his glasses back up with his finger. "Gin an' Alice better not have gone in my room or I'll…"

"Remember what happened last time you and Gin got into it? She's five, HR. You have to remember she's not as old as you are."

"Yeah, Dad, but you an' Mum didn't do anything! And when Mione and Minnie ripped up my paper dragons they didn't get in trouble either! Why do I always get in trouble?"

"Gin and Alice were playing, and you know the twins are even littler than Gin. They're three. They'll learn." I put the car in gear as we began moving again. "I know what it's like trying to keep a sister and brothers out of my room. Your Uncle Nate was a massive pain in the…he was a pain. Ask Uncle Neville for some ideas about how to keep your room secure when we get home."

"How about Uncle George?" He smiled mischievously at me.

I laughed and saw HR doing the same thing. "Yeah, that didn't go so well last time. Talk to Uncle Neville after dinner."

A sudden worried look spread across HR's face. "Is Mum cooking or…"

I shook my head. "Nope, your Aunt Hannah is." As HR sat back in the seat with a relieved look I kept my mouth shut tightly but chuckled to myself. Melody's cooking was _much_ better than when we got married, but HR thought with his stomach and much preferred his godmother's cooking.

When HR and I entered Colony House Melody had a napping Minnie on her lap while Hannah held a squirming and completely filthy Mione up in the air by one leg. HR mumbled hello to his mother and godparents and then walked straightaway to his room. Neville was in one of the chairs reading a book, so I plopped down in the opposite chair. "So, everything's normal here, then."

"Hank?" Melody scrunched her nose at me. "How's HR?"

"Nervous and jealous, mostly. He's worried he's going to be a Muggle." Hannah set down Mione, who ran over to me and held up her hands. I picked her up and put her on my lap. "What in Merlin's name have you been doing, monkey?"

"Caught her in the garden, sitting there pulling out flowers." Melody shook her head. "She'd pull them out, sniff them and then throw them. I've lost all of my petunias."

"How did she get out there in the first place?" I turned to Mione and wiped some dirt off her face with my fingers. "Monkey Mione, did you escape from the zoo?"

"Gin left the door open. She and Alice wanted to go out to the garden and I told them no." Hannah looked over to Melody and shook her head. "I thought she closed the door but she must have left it open hoping they could sneak out later."

As Mione began to squirm I sat her down on the floor, and from the moment her feet touched a solid surface she was off, laughing and running as fast as she could. I looked over at Melody, holding the sleeping twin. "You know, HR brought up having a brother again, I think he's had it with his sisters. Can't be…"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! MUMMY MUMMY MUMMY!"

Gin's voice came from down the hall and I looked over to Melody. As she handed Minnie to Hannah she shook her head. "It's always Mummy, never Daddy, oh no, always Mummy. What now?"

As Melody walked out of the room in a severe state of irritation I looked over to Neville. "Well, you can't say that it's boring over here."

Neville shook his head. "It's never boring over here. You see today's _Prophet_? Cassandra Palliurum has requested a new trial."

"Pfffft. Like that'll happen. She confessed like crazy, she couldn't wait to tell her story."

"Henry!" Melody's voice rang out from the direction of HR's bedroom, but she didn't sound angry. "Everyone, come here!"

I shrugged at the Longbottoms and we all went into HR's room. Melody stood right inside the door, her hand wiping away a tear. HR was sitting on his bed almost bouncing with excitement, but Alice was hugging Gin, who was crying and oddly was wearing Hieronymus' Chudley Cannons stocking hat.

Seeing Gin crying and HR happy made me nervous. "What happened? HR, what did you do?"

"I did it, Dad! I did it!"

His feet were tapping wildly and his glasses were crooked, but I could tell that whatever happened was definitely good according to my son. That was my thought until I saw Virginia take off the hat. My oldest daughter stood with her friend Alice Longbottom, and usually the girls had almost the same hair color, but today was quite different. Alice's dark hair looked just like Neville's, as usual, but Virginia had bright purple hair, almost a neon shade of purple. Professional sports team purple.

I went over and picked up Virginia, who threw her arms around my neck, began to sob and told me in staccato bursts between gasping cries that she didn't want purple hair and HR was mean. It suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks, and while I comforted my crying daughter I felt a massive wave of relief. I glanced over to HR, and then to Melody, who simply nodded.

Neville put his arm on my shoulder. "Told you all along not to worry, Hank."

* * *

As soon as the owl came back I went in to get HR. He was sitting on his bed surrounded by broken sticks and was in the middle of taping them together when I walked into his room. "Put on your shoes, we're going on a little trip, just the two of us."

"Are you sure I'm not in trouble?" He sat down the sticks and looked up at me as if he wasn't sure. "Is Gin's hair fixed?"

I nodded. "Yes, your mom and Aunt Hannah did that right before the Longbottoms went home. Come on, kiddo. Put on your shoes."

After HR had his trainers on we walked over to the fireplace. I stepped inside and motioned for him to do the same. With my hand around his arm I threw down the Floo powder.

As we walked out of the fireplace at The Leaky Cauldron I waved at the witch behind the bar and looked down at my son. "Come on, we're expected."

HR's eyes were big as we walked through Diagon Alley, but then again he'd always loved the place, ever since he was really little. He'd always begged to go to Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes, but two things had kept him from ever setting foot in the shop. The first thing was that George had to institute a policy of not allowing kids under the age of ten unless accompanied by a parent, and the second thing keeping HR from the shop was his mother's flat out refusal to let him buy anything there. It wasn't that Melody disapproved of George's shop; she just didn't like how George's products always ended up doing something like turning our dog Spit pink or literally filling the house full of bubbles, which happened after HR received his present from George and Angelina last Christmas.

That's why when I opened the door to George's shop HR's eyes grew wide behind his glasses. "Wow."

"That's the type of reaction I expect, well done." George rolled over on a ladder that went from the floor to one of the top shelves of the shop, his purple robe billowing out behind him. "I understand congratulations are in order." After sliding down the ladder and landing in front of us with a thump he stuck his hand out to HR.

HR seemed to be in a state of shock as he shook George's hand. He looked over at me questioningly and I just smiled.

"Now then, young wizard Hieronymus, I understand you have a liking for the color purple. Me too." He tugged at the triple W logo of the shop on his chest. "Your sister probably not as much, but she'll get over it. After all, sisters are for pranking. Too bad you don't have a little brother, but mention that to your mum later. Tell her five is a good number." George looked over at me and closed one eye. "Hmm…twenty Galleons?"

I shook my head. "Five. And nothing that explodes."

George leaned down stage-whispered in HR's ear. "Can't say I didn't try." He stood up and looked towards the back of the shop. "POESY!"

Eventually Poesy Phillips-Jones walked out from behind the shelves with her wand stuck behind her ear and ducked as a toy car zoomed through the air. "Yes, boss? Oh, Professor Muggle!" She headed over quickly to us and when she saw HR was with me she stopped suddenly. "Does this mean what I think it means?"

I saw HR look up at me and I nodded. "Tell her what happened."

"Gin broke all my pretend wands an' I got mad an' turned her hair purple. I did magic!"

"Poesy, why don't you help this young wizard pick out some appropriate items. He's got a ten Galleon budget." George ruffled HR's hair and winked at me.

"Five, Poesy, it's a five Galleon budget. And Melody said nothing that explodes." I gave George a look. "Nice try, what, sales are off today?"

George didn't say anything until Poesy and HR were off in the shelves. "Told you not to worry, Hank. No way could he be as boring as you."


End file.
